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Good Will Hunting

A gifted but troubled young man from South Boston must confront his traumatic past and find his purpose in life with the help of an unconventional therapist.

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Overview

Unique Selling Point

Discover "Good Will Hunting," a groundbreaking script that masterfully blends sharp wit, humor, and raw emotion to create an unforgettable journey of self-discovery, friendship, and love. This story takes you into the heart of South Boston, where a group of working-class friends navigate life's challenges with camaraderie and resilience. At its core, "Good Will Hunting" is a tale of an unlikely genius, Will Hunting, who struggles to come to terms with his intellect and past traumas. What sets this script apart is its unique combination of authentic character interactions, fresh humor, and thought-provoking themes. The writer's voice shines through in the natural, engaging dialogue that captures the nuances of each character's personality. From the gritty realism of the bar scenes to the intellectual depth of the academic settings, "Good Will Hunting" offers a captivating and original narrative that will resonate with audiences. This script's unique selling proposition lies in its ability to explore complex themes, such as the impact of childhood trauma, the importance of mentorship, and the struggle for personal growth, all while maintaining a lighthearted and relatable tone. With its memorable characters, engaging dialogue, and powerful emotional resonance, "Good Will Hunting" promises to be a standout addition to any film collection.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

This rating is from a single AI engine based on structure, character, tone, and emotional engagement.

Claude
Recommend

See Details in P/C/R/HR Section

Story Facts

Genres: Drama, Comedy, Romance, Thriller, Psychological Thriller, Action, Crime, Legal, Romantic Comedy

Setting: Present day, Boston, Massachusetts

Themes: Personal Growth and Self-Discovery, Friendship and Loyalty, Education and Learning

Conflict & Stakes: Will's struggle to come to terms with his past, his fear of failure, and his desire for a meaningful life, while also dealing with the pressures of his academic potential and the expectations of those around him.

Mood: Emotional and inspiring, with moments of humor and tension.

Standout Features:

Unique Hook: A coming-of-age story about a troubled young man with a brilliant mind and a difficult past, who must confront his fears and embrace his potential in order to find happiness and fulfillment.
Plot Twist: Will's unexpected discovery of his photographic memory and his ability to solve complex mathematical problems, which leads to new opportunities and challenges.
Distinctive Setting: The contrast between the prestigious academic institutions of MIT and Harvard, and the working-class neighborhoods of South Boston, highlights the class divide and adds depth to the story.
Innovative Ideas: The film explores the idea that education is not just about academic achievement, but also about personal growth, self-discovery, and the impact of childhood experiences on adulthood.

Comparable Scripts: Good Will Hunting (1997), A Beautiful Mind (2001), The Social Network (2010), Dead Poets Society (1989), Finding Forrester (2000), The Miracle Worker (1962), Stand and Deliver (1988), Rain Man (1988), Pi (1998), The Theory of Everything (2014)

Script Level Analysis

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

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Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

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Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

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Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

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Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

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Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

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Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

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Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart

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The screenplay's strong character development and originality are promising, but improving plot, pacing, and conflict can enhance its overall impact and engagement.

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Key Strengths

The screenplay has exceptional character development and dialogue, which can make for engaging and believable characters and interactions.
The originality score is very high, suggesting unique and fresh ideas that can set the screenplay apart.

Areas for Improvement

The plot could benefit from further development, as the percentile ranking is relatively low compared to other elements.
The pacing and structure scores are also lower, indicating that the writer might want to focus on tightening the narrative and improving the story's progression.
The conflict level is relatively low, which could result in a less engaging or impactful story. Introducing more conflicts and tension can help maintain the audience's interest.

Writer Style

The writer's style appears to be more intuitive, with strong character and dialogue development, but could benefit from more focus on concept, plot, and structure.

Balancing Elements

The writer could work on balancing the plot and concept with character development and dialogue to create a more cohesive and engaging narrative.
Improving pacing and structure while maintaining the strong character interactions and original ideas can contribute to a more balanced screenplay.

Intuition Level

Intuitive

Overall Assessment

The screenplay has unique ideas and engaging characters, but could benefit from further development of the plot, pacing, and structure to maximize its potential.

How this was done: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault (such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other produced scripts for each criteria.

How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library

Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.

Title	Grade	Percentile	Before	After
Scene Characters	9.0	100	Call me by your name: 8.9	Good Will Hunting: 9.0
Scene Dialogue	8.7	98	Clerks: 8.6	Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog: 8.7
Scene Overall	8.8	95	Dune Part Two: 8.7	the dark knight rises: 8.8
Script Conflict	8.20	86	Parasite: 8.00	the dark knight rises: 8.20
Script Visual Impact	8.10	77	Ex-Machina: 8.00	Blade Runner: 8.10
Script Originality	8.20	70	Dune Part Two: 8.10	Rambo: 8.20
Scene Originality	8.83	69	The Umbrella Academy: 8.82	Shaun of the Dead: 8.83
Scene Formatting	8.26	68	Coda: 8.25	Good Will Hunting: 8.26
Overall Script	8.25	67	The Hudsucker Proxy: 8.20	Black mirror 304: 8.25
Scene Internal Goal	8.10	66	Jack Reacher: 8.09	Good Will Hunting: 8.10
Scene Pacing	8.33	61	The usual suspects: 8.32	Blade Runner: 8.33
Script Characters	8.10	61	Pirates of the Caribbean: 8.00	Erin Brokovich: 8.10
Scene Character Changes	7.2	58	Jack Reacher: 7.1	Erin Brokovich: 7.2
Script Structure	7.90	54	Dune Part Two: 7.80	Black mirror 304: 7.90
Scene Emotional Impact	7.9	52	Triangle of sadness: 7.8	fight Club: 7.9
Scene Plot	8.0	48	Triangle of sadness: 7.9	True Blood: 8.0
Script Structure	8.12	46	Moonlight: 8.11	Good Will Hunting: 8.12
Scene Engagement	8.93	40	Ex-Machina: 8.92	Good Will Hunting: 8.93
Scene Concept	8.0	30	Poor Things: 7.9	a few good men: 8.0
Scene External Goal	7.07	23	Triangle of sadness: 7.06	Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde : 7.07
Script Premise	7.60	22	Psycho: 7.50	True Blood: 7.60
Scene Conflict Level	6.8	21	Jojo rabbit: 6.7	the pursuit of happyness: 6.8
Scene Story Forward	7.6	21	The Addams Family: 7.5	Rear Window: 7.6
Scene Unpredictability	7.14	18	Moonlight: 7.13	Her: 7.14
Scene High Stakes	6.0	14	Charlie and The Choclate Factory: 5.9	Good Will Hunting: 6.0

Other Analyses

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

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Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

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Memorable Lines

Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.

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Tropes

Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.

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World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

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Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

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Loglines

Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

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Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

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Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

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Memorable Lines

Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.

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Tropes

Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.

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World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

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Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

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Loglines

Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

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Screenplay Rating:

Recommend

Executive Summary

Good Will Hunting is a powerful and thought-provoking character-driven drama that explores themes of identity, trauma, and the pursuit of purpose. The screenplay showcases exceptional dialog, complex relationships, and a compelling protagonist struggling to find his place in the world. While there are a few areas that could be tightened or expanded upon, the overall narrative is highly engaging and emotionally resonant. The film would appeal to a wide range of audiences, particularly those drawn to character-driven stories with depth and nuance.

Strengths

The opening sequences effectively establish the core characters, their relationships, and the gritty, working-class backdrop of South Boston. The dialog is sharp, natural, and reveals a great deal about the characters through their interactions. high ( Scene 1 (INT. L STREET BAR & GRILLE, SOUTH BOSTON -- EVENING) Scene 2 (INT. M.I.T. CLASSROOM -- DAY) Scene 3 (EXT. SOUTH BOSTON ROOFTOP -- EARLY AFTERNOON) )
The powerful exchange between Will and Sean delves into deep issues of abuse, abandonment, and the search for purpose. The performances would be incredibly compelling on screen. high ( Scene 19 (INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY) )
The contrast between the academic elite at the Faculty Club and Chuckie's hilariously inept attempt at negotiating for Will provides both comedy and insight into the class divides present. medium ( Scene 27 (INT. FACULTY CLUB -- NIGHT) Scene 28 (INT. TRI-TECH LABORATORIES, OFFICE -- SAME) )
The exchange between Will and Skylar allows for deeper exploration of Will's unique intellectual gifts and how they shape his view of the world and relationships. medium ( Scene 29 (INT. AU BON PAIN COURTYARD, HARVARD SQUARE -- DAY) )
The cathartic scene where Will violently vents his frustrations while working on the construction site provides a visceral window into his inner turmoil. medium ( Scene 35 (INT. MAGGIORE BUILDER'S CONSTRUCTION SITE -- DAY) )

Areas of Improvement

The hypnosis scene feels a bit too on-the-nose in its attempt to delve into Will's traumatic past. A more nuanced approach to this reveal may have been more effective. medium ( Scene 15 (INT. LAMBEAU'S OFFICE -- DAY) )
While the contrast between the academic elites and Chuckie's negotiation tactics is entertaining, the scenes could be tightened to avoid feeling overly drawn out. low ( Scene 27 (INT. FACULTY CLUB -- NIGHT) Scene 28 (INT. TRI-TECH LABORATORIES, OFFICE -- SAME) )
Some of the minor characters, such as Morgan and Billy, could be further developed to provide more depth and nuance to the core group of friends. medium ( Scene General )

MissingElements

More exploration of Skylar's character and motivations beyond just being Will's love interest could have added additional layers to the narrative. medium ( Scene General )
Additional insight into Sean's past and the circumstances that led to his own personal struggles could have provided more context for his role as a mentor to Will. medium ( Scene General )

NotablePoints

The powerful confrontation between Will and Sean, culminating in Will's emotional breakthrough, is a standout moment that showcases the screenplay's depth and the complex relationship between the two characters. high ( Scene 19 (INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY) )
Will's defiant destruction of the proof he has solved, coupled with Lambeau's impassioned response, highlights the high-stakes tension between the two and Will's refusal to be pigeonholed. medium ( Scene 31 (INT. LAMBEAU'S OFFICE -- DAY) )
The bittersweet farewell between Will and Sean, marked by mutual respect and understanding, provides a poignant and emotionally resonant conclusion to their complex relationship. high ( Scene 40 (INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY) )

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Screenplay Insights:

Overall Grade: 8.25

Characters: 8.1, The screenplay effectively develops its characters, creating a compelling and emotionally resonant narrative. The characters are complex, relatable, and undergo significant growth throughout the story. While the screenplay excels in certain aspects of character development, there are a few areas where further refinement could enhance the audience's connection with the characters and strengthen their overall impact on the story. See More

Premise: 7.6, The screenplay's premise effectively establishes a compelling and clear narrative foundation. It introduces a group of young men from South Boston, each with their distinct personalities and dynamics, and sets up an intriguing conflict that involves a brilliant yet troubled mathematics prodigy. While the premise is promising, it could benefit from further development to enhance its originality and broaden its appeal to a wider audience. See More

Structure: 7.9, The screenplay exhibits a solid structure and plot development, showcasing a compelling narrative journey. However, there are some areas where refinements could enhance the storytelling dynamics and overall impact. See More

Theme: , The screenplay effectively explores and communicates its themes and messages, providing a thoughtful and engaging narrative. The themes are interwoven into the character arcs and plot, adding depth and resonance to the story. The messages are relevant and have a strong impact on the audience, provoking thought and emotional responses. See More

Visual Impact: 8.1, This screenplay features strong visual imagery that effectively enhances its storytelling and immerses readers in its world. The descriptions are vivid, engaging, and consistent, contributing to a unique and emotionally resonant visual experience. See More

Emotional Impact: , See More

Conflict: 8.2, The screenplay presents a compelling conflict between Will Hunting's prodigious intellect and his emotional barriers, as well as the stakes of his relationships and future potential. While the narrative effectively drives tension and audience engagement, there are areas where enhancements could deepen the conflict, elevate the stakes, and refine the resolution for a more impactful and satisfying experience. See More

Originality: 8.2, The screenplay exhibits notable originality in its realistic portrayal of working-class South Boston and its nuanced exploration of trauma, therapy, and personal growth. The authentic dialogue and relatable characters bring a sense of lived-in reality to the story, while the exploration of complex themes adds depth and emotional resonance. See More

Summary "Good Will Hunting" follows the story of Will Hunting, a janitor with a genius-level IQ, as he navigates his relationships with his friends, therapist, and mentor. Chuckie, Billy, and Morgan support Will as he grapples with his potential and inner demons, while Sean McGuire helps him confront his traumatic past and find his true calling. Despite conflicts with authority figures like Professor Lambeau and internal struggles, Will ultimately finds closure and happiness by embracing his gifts and pursuing a new opportunity in California. The film explores themes of friendship, trauma, self-discovery, and personal growth, culminating in a hopeful and uplifting ending as Will embarks on a new chapter in his life.

Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The screenplay for 'Good Will Hunting' is a poignant and emotionally resonant story that delves deep into the complexities of human relationships, personal growth, and self-discovery. The narrative is rich with authentic character dynamics and heartfelt moments that draw the audience in and keep them engaged throughout. The exploration of themes such as trauma, vulnerability, and the pursuit of one's true potential is handled with sensitivity and depth, creating a compelling and thought-provoking viewing experience. However, there are moments where the pacing feels slightly uneven, and certain plot points could benefit from further development to enhance the overall coherence of the story.

Suggestions: To improve the screenplay, consider refining the pacing to ensure a more consistent flow of the narrative. Additionally, flesh out certain plot points to provide greater clarity and depth to key character arcs and thematic elements. Strengthening the connections between the beginning, middle, and end of the story can help create a more cohesive and impactful storytelling experience.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here

Beginning The beginning of the screenplay sets a strong foundation for the narrative, introducing the main characters and establishing the central conflicts effectively. The interactions between Will, Chuckie, and the rest of the group are engaging and authentic, drawing the audience into their world. However, there are moments where the pacing feels slightly rushed, and certain character motivations could be further developed to enhance the emotional resonance of the story.

Suggestions: To improve the beginning of the screenplay, consider slowing down the pacing in key moments to allow for more character development and emotional depth. Provide additional context for the characters' backgrounds and motivations to create a stronger connection with the audience. Strengthen the introduction of the central conflicts to establish a solid foundation for the rest of the story.

Middle The middle part of the screenplay delves deeper into the emotional journeys of the characters, exploring themes of personal growth and self-discovery with nuance and sensitivity. The interactions between Will and Sean, as well as the dynamics within the group of friends, are compelling and authentic, driving the narrative forward with emotional depth. However, there are moments where the pacing feels slightly uneven, and certain plot developments could be further fleshed out to enhance the overall coherence of the story.

Suggestions: To improve the middle part of the screenplay, consider refining the pacing to maintain a consistent flow of the narrative and allow for more breathing room in key emotional moments. Develop the relationships between the characters to create more nuanced dynamics and add layers to their interactions. Strengthen the thematic elements to provide a more cohesive and impactful exploration of the central themes of the story.

Ending The ending of the screenplay delivers a satisfying resolution to the character arcs and central conflicts, bringing closure to the emotional journeys of the main characters. The final moments between Will, Sean, and the rest of the group are poignant and heartfelt, leaving a lasting impact on the audience. However, there are elements of the resolution that feel slightly rushed, and certain plot threads could be further developed to provide a more satisfying conclusion to the story.

Suggestions: To improve the ending of the screenplay, consider allowing for more space to fully resolve the character arcs and central conflicts in a more organic and satisfying manner. Provide closure for all key plot threads and character journeys to create a more cohesive and impactful conclusion to the story. Strengthen the emotional resonance of the final moments to leave a lasting impact on the audience.

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Will - Score: 86/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: INTP

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

A brilliant janitor from South Boston with unresolved trauma.

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Haunted by childhood abuse and abandonment, leading to emotional conflict.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

Will experiences significant personal growth, ultimately choosing love over fear.

Dialogue And Voice 9/10

Will's dialogue blends humor with sarcasm, revealing his intelligence and emotional guardedness.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Will's choices often reflect deep internal conflict between his intellect and fear of intimacy.

Relationship Dynamics 9/10

Will's relationships are marked by loyalty but also by fear, particularly with Skylar and Sean.

Scene Impact 8/10

Will's presence often catalyzes crucial emotional dialogue and character exploration.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Will embodies the archetypal 'wounded hero' seeking redemption and understanding.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Will's journey underscores the themes of self-discovery, vulnerability, and the struggle for connection.

Emotional Resonance 9/10

Elicits strong sympathy through his struggles and growth.

Foundational Definition

Score: 9

Will Hunting is a 20-year-old janitor at MIT with a natural gift for mathematics. Despite his intellectual prowess, he comes from a troubled background in South Boston, grappling with the emotional scars of his upbringing as an orphan with a tumultuous past. His intelligence is juxtaposed with a rebellious and guarded demeanor, often using humor and deflection to protect himself from vulnerability. This foundational identity drives his interactions and choices throughout the story, especially his relationships with his friends and mentors.

Values And Beliefs: Loyalty, self-preservation, the importance of emotional bonds, disdain for authority.

Strengths And Skills: Exceptional mathematical ability, quick wit, strong physicality, street smarts.

Suggestions

Explore how Will's background impacts his future aspirations.
Delve deeper into his feelings about his family and upbringing.

Follow-up Questions

How does Will's relationship with his friends influence his self-identity?
In what ways does he challenge the status quo within the academic world?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 8

Will carries significant emotional baggage stemming from his childhood, which includes physical abuse and abandonment. His fear of vulnerability and intimacy often leads him to sabotage potentially meaningful relationships, particularly with Skylar. His anger and defensive mechanisms create an internal conflict that presents barriers to his personal growth and ability to accept love. These emotional wounds add depth to his character, showcasing his struggles and the potential for redemption.

Character Wound: Fear of abandonment and intimacy due to childhood trauma.

Character Flaws: Rebelliousness, emotional distance, tendency to push people away.

Suggestions

Provide more insight into Will's interactions with authority figures to highlight his rebellious nature.
Develop scenes showcasing Will's inner thoughts during his more vulnerable moments.

Follow-up Questions

What specific incidents in Will's past have contributed to his emotional distance?
How do his relationships evolve as he confronts his inner demons?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 8

Over the course of the story, Will grapples with his fear of vulnerability and the notion of personal responsibility. His journey is marked by significant discussions with Sean, which force him to confront his fears about failure and emotional connection. Ultimately, he chooses to pursue a relationship with Skylar, indicating a willingness to step outside his comfort zone and embrace life.

Polarity Changes: Will transitions from resisting emotional connections to embracing vulnerability with Sean and Skylar.

Transformation Triggers: Key conversations with Sean and Chuckie that challenge his worldview and elicit introspection.

Suggestions

Clarify the moments that lead Will to embrace vulnerability more distinctly.
Highlight the changes in Will's relationships as he grows emotionally.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events trigger Will's decision to move forward with Skylar?
How does Will's relationship with Sean influence his ultimate choices?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 9

Will's dialogue is sharp and often comedic, showcasing his intelligence and coping mechanisms. He employs humor and deflection as a way to maintain emotional distance from others. As he grows throughout the story, his dialogue begins to reflect a deeper vulnerability, particularly in his exchanges with Sean and Skylar, revealing the layers of his character beyond the facade he presents.

Unique Voice: Will's speech is characterized by quick wit, sarcasm, and a willingness to challenge others, often masking deeper insecurities.

Suggestions

Incorporate more moments where Will shows vulnerability in his dialogue.
Increase the contrasts in tone between his humorous lines and serious conversations.

Follow-up Questions

How do Will's dialogues change as he develops relationships?
What does his dialogue reveal about his underlying fears?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Will's choices reveal a complex interplay between his intellectual aspirations and personal relationships. His refusal to accept job opportunities and his decision to push people away stem from his fear of emotional intimacy and perceived failure. As he ultimately decides to pursue a relationship with Skylar, it highlights his struggle to internalize what it means to open himself up to love and the future.

Motivations: To avoid emotional pain and navigate his complicated relationships.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires love and connection but fears vulnerability and the possibility of loss.

Suggestions

Showcase pivotal moments that lead Will to make more progressive choices.
Focus on how his choices resonate with those around him and influence plot outcomes.

Follow-up Questions

What choices does Will make that ultimately reflect his growth?
What does he learn from the consequences of his actions?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 9

Will's relationships are complex and multifaceted. With Sean, he finds an understanding mentor who challenges him to confront his past, leading to significant growth. In contrast, his relationship with Skylar is fraught with emotional tension stemming from his fear of intimacy. His loyalty to his friends manifests in his desire to remain close to their shared background, but this also contributes to his reluctance to embrace change.

Suggestions

Enhance scenes that explore the depth of Will's relationship with Sean.
Develop moments where Will grapples with the balance of loyalty to his friends versus his personal growth.

Follow-up Questions

What dynamics shift in Will's friendships as he grows emotionally?
How does Will balance his old life with potential new relationships?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

Will’s actions and decisions substantially influence the emotional tone and direction of many scenes. His fights serve as explosive moments that reveal his inner turmoil, while quieter interactions with Sean provide deep introspection and character development. Will's relationships with both Sean and Skylar highlight moments of potential growth or retreat, impacting how those around him react and evolve.

Suggestions

Maximize Will's impact by crafting more intense interpersonal scenes.
Use climactic moments to explore themes of abandonment and belonging.

Follow-up Questions

How does Will's character arc influence key plot points?
What scenes best showcase his transformation throughout the story?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

As the protagonist, Will serves as the wounded hero archetype, illustrating the push-pull of brilliance and deep emotional scars. His journey against the backdrop of friendship, mentorship, and love encapsulates the struggles many face in reconciling their past with their aspirations. This role is upheld through his evolving relationships and the choices he makes that reflect his internal conflict.

Symbolic Role: Wounded hero representing the struggle between intellect and emotional connection.

Suggestions

Deepen the contrast of Will as both a hero and a person who feels broken.
Strengthen elements that showcase his transformation from a 'wounded' state to one of empowerment.

Follow-up Questions

How does Will's self-perception change throughout the story?
What moments define Will as a 'hero' in the eyes of others?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

Will's character journey is central to the screenplay's themes of self-discovery, the importance of emotional connection, and the conflict between intellect and feeling. His choices echo the larger narrative of overcoming personal demons and the necessity of embracing vulnerability to attain true understanding and love. The interplay between his internal struggles and relationships serves as the backbone for thematic development throughout the plot.

Suggestions

Highlight the importance of emotional vulnerability as a recurring theme.
Use Will's choices to reinforce the screenplay's exploration of belonging and identity.

Follow-up Questions

What does Will ultimately learn about himself by the end of his journey?
How do his experiences reflect the larger themes presented in the screenplay?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 9

Will's emotional arc resonates powerfully with the audience as they witness his struggle to accept love and connection. His fear, rebellion, and eventual growth elicit responses ranging from sympathy to frustration. These emotional beats are crafted with depth, ensuring that viewers can connect with his journey and root for his transformation.

Emotional Impact: Will evokes sympathy and frustration, reflecting the universal fear of vulnerability.

Suggestions

Emphasize pivotal moments that heighten audience empathy.
Aim to create more emotionally charged interactions between Will and other key characters.

Follow-up Questions

What specific scenes trigger the strongest emotional responses?
How do audiences perceive Will's journey of self-acceptance?

Personality Types

MBTI: intp

Will's analytical capabilities and tendency to withdraw from emotional situations align closely with INTP traits, characterized by a quest for knowledge and difficulty expressing feelings.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: infj (50%)

Suggestions

Use the INTP traits to inform moments that showcase Will's analytical intelligence.
Consider the INFJ traits for scenes where Will connects on an emotional level.

Follow-up Questions

How does Will's thought process influence his decision-making?
What moments illustrate Will's feeling side, showcasing the INFJ traits?

Chuckie - Score: 76/100

Role

Supporting character

Personality

MBTI: ESFP

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Loyal friend from a working-class background.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Ambitiously supportive, yet envious of Will's potential.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 6/10

Progresses through a cycle of encouragement and conflict with Will.

Dialogue And Voice 9/10

Lively and crude, reflecting his upbringing and personality.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Defends Will fiercely while struggling with his own identity.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Complex bond with Will, oscillating between envy and support.

Scene Impact 7/10

Provides a grounding element in scenes with humor and insight.

Role Fulfillment 8/10

Acts as a supportive best friend while facing internal dilemmas.

Thematic Plot Integration 7/10

Embodies the theme of friendship against personal ambition.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Strikes a balance between humor and deep emotional stakes.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Chuckie is a loyal friend who values the camaraderie he shares with his crew. He represents the working-class background of South Boston, embracing a rough and ready persona while showing a deep care for his friends. His experiences growing up in a tough environment shape his understanding of loyalty and friendship, and he often expresses concern for Will's potential while simultaneously fearing his own stagnation.

Values And Beliefs: Loyalty to friends, View of life as a struggle, Desire for better opportunities

Strengths And Skills: Charisma and humor, Strong physical presence, Ability to navigate social dynamics

Suggestions

Deepen backstory to explore his motivations for wanting more than his current job.
Integrate more dialogues that show his concern for Will's potential.

Follow-up Questions

What specific event in Chuckie's life influenced his perspective on friendship?
How does Chuckie's relationship with Will challenge his own feelings of inadequacy?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Chuckie exhibits a sense of ambition and jealousy toward Will, mixed with genuine care for him. His emotional wounds stem from feeling stuck in a life of modest means while recognizing Will's extraordinary potential. This internal conflict creates a tension between wanting Will to succeed and resenting him for having opportunities Chuckie does not.

Character Wound: Struggles with feeling of inadequacy and fear of remaining in South Boston.

Character Flaws: Tendency to mask insecurities with humor, Can be overly brash or confrontational

Suggestions

Create scenes highlighting his personal struggles and ambitions outside of friendship.
Focus on his reactions to Will's success to further explore his character depth.

Follow-up Questions

What would Chuckie say about his own ambitions versus those of his friends?
How does Chuckie's background influence his view on success?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 6

Chuckie's journey centers around his realization of his own limitations compared to Will's potential. While he pushes Will to consider a future beyond their current lives, he also grapples with feelings of jealousy and fear that he will remain in South Boston forever. The turning point comes when he acknowledges he must embrace more than a life of construction.

Polarity Changes: Encouragement of Will's potential, but also frustration with his inaction.

Transformation Triggers: Confrontations about Will's choices and Chuckie's own realizations about his life.

Suggestions

Include a key moment where Chuckie takes a step toward improving his own life.
Highlight significant events that force him to confront his own fears and ambitions.

Follow-up Questions

How does Chuckie's attitude toward Will influence their future conversations?
What would Chuckie's ideal life look like, and how does that compare to his current situation?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 9

Chuckie's dialogue is characterized by his thick Boston accent and informal speech patterns. He uses humor and sarcasm to communicate his feelings, often breaking the tension in serious moments with jokes. His dialogue reveals his loyalty to friends and his frustration at their circumstances while showcasing his desire for deeper connections.

Unique Voice: Thick Boston accent, often using crude humor and casual language.

Suggestions

Add more moments where his dialogue reveals his vulnerability.
Explore how his humor can be a defense mechanism in emotional conversations.

Follow-up Questions

What words or phrases does Chuckie use that best encapsulate his character?
How does his humor serve both as a bridge and a wall in his relationships?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Chuckie's choices often reflect his loyalty to his friends, particularly Will. He demonstrates protective behaviors and confronts those who threaten their friendship. However, his motivations reveal a longing for a better life, leading to jealousy when he perceives Will is leaving him behind. Chuckie's actions show the conflict between his values and his circumstances.

Motivations: A desire for loyalty and for Will to realize his potential.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to uplift Will and prove himself, yet feels trapped in his current life.

Suggestions

Include scenes where Chuckie has to choose between helping Will and pursuing his own dreams.
Highlight moments where Chuckie's actions directly lead to personal growth.

Follow-up Questions

How do Chuckie's choices influence Will's journey throughout the screenplay?
In what situations do Chuckie's motivations clash with their tight friendship?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Chuckie serves as a foil to Will, showcasing contrasting aspects of ambition and friendship. Their relationship encompasses camaraderie, jealousy, and the struggle to support one another. He is often the voice of reason, urging Will to pursue a successful future, even when that prospect terrifies him.

Suggestions

Develop more nuanced interactions between Chuckie and Will that highlight their friendship tests.
Introduce a scene where Chuckie's perspective on his relationship with Will is deeply explored.

Follow-up Questions

What role does Chuckie play in challenging Will's decisions throughout the screenplay?
How does their bond shift based on their individual growth?

Scene Impact

Score: 7

Chuckie's presence often lightens tense moments with humor while also introducing a critical perspective on Will's choices. His actions and dialogue can shift the emotional tone of scenes, bringing camaraderie to serious discussions. However, moments of vulnerability reveal deeper underlying tensions that affect the group dynamic.

Suggestions

Enhance scenes by leveraging Chuckie's humor to mask deeper feelings.
Incorporate moments where Chuckie's reactions serve as a mirror for Will's choices.

Follow-up Questions

In which scenes does Chuckie's humor most effectively counterbalance heavier themes?
How does Chuckie's frustration with Will affect the energy of their shared scenes?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 8

Chuckie's role in the story is fundamental as he embodies the working-class reality that Will grapples with while also representing the fear of stagnation. He catalyzes Will's journey to realize his potential, pushing him to consider choices beyond their environment. Chuckie's character encapsulates the tension between loyalty and ambition.

Symbolic Role: Represents the authenticity and struggle of everyday life.

Suggestions

Increase moments that show the pressure Chuckie feels regarding his own choices.
Emphasize Chuckie's contrasting outlook compared to Will's ambitions.

Follow-up Questions

How effectively does Chuckie drive Will toward self-discovery?
What moments highlight Chuckie's role as both a supporter and challenger in Will's journey?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 7

Chuckie's journey intersects with larger themes of loyalty, friendship, and socio-economic struggles. His interactions with Will illuminate the societal expectations placed on them, creating a reflected narrative of choices and consequences. Chuckie's embodiment of the working-class struggle reinforces the screenplay's exploration of dreams and realities.

Suggestions

Highlight more moments where Chuckie's relationship with Will specifically drives the central themes.
Introduce rich backstory elements that could align with the screenplay's overarching messages.

Follow-up Questions

How do Chuckie's challenges with loyalty and success tie into the broader narrative of the screenplay?
What moments stand out as pivotal to understanding the thematic significance of Chuckie's character?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Chuckie's character evokes deep feelings of loyalty and the emotional struggles inherent in friendships. His desire for Will's success, coupled with his own inner conflicts, creates a heartfelt dynamic that resonates emotionally with the audience. The interplay between humor and vulnerability in his character compels viewers to engage with the broader themes of life's choices.

Emotional Impact: Engenders sympathy and reflection on friendship and sacrifice.

Suggestions

Enhance audience connection by integrating more personal stakes into Chuckie's dialogue.
Utilize visual storytelling techniques to capture Chuckie's emotional struggles.

Follow-up Questions

What specific scenes resonate most with viewers in terms of emotional impact?
How does Chuckie's humor manage to soften heavier moments of drama in the screenplay?

Personality Types

MBTI: esfp

Chuckie's lively, sociable nature and tendency to seek fun aligns with the ESFP personality type, characterized by a focus on the present and a preference for spontaneity.

Confidence: 75%

Suggestions

Use the ESFP traits to create more dynamic interactions with other characters.
Explore Chuckie's tendency to live in the moment through his choices and actions.

Follow-up Questions

How does Chuckie's ESFP nature influence his decision-making throughout the screenplay?
What key moments showcase Chuckie's social energy and ability to connect with others?

Sean - Score: 85/100

Role

Mentor

Personality

MBTI: ENFJ
Enneagram: 2 - The Helper

Scenes

Strongest: #36

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

A compassionate mentor facing personal loss.

Complexity And Depth 9/10

A grieving widower with emotional scars.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

Sean undergoes a gradual acceptance of his past and a deeper connection with Will.

Dialogue And Voice 9/10

Sean's speech is often candid, insightful, and tinged with a bittersweet tone.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Sean's decisions are influenced by a blend of emotional honesty and practical wisdom.

Relationship Dynamics 9/10

Sean connects deeply with Will, exhibiting a mentor-mentee dynamic, but also experiences tension.

Scene Impact 8/10

Sean's presence in scenes often provides emotional depth and philosophical insight.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Sean serves as a mentor who bridges Will's past with his potential future.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Sean's journey interweaves with themes of love, loss, and redemption.

Emotional Resonance 9/10

Evokes deep empathy through vulnerability and emotional honesty.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Sean Maguire is a psychologist working with troubled individuals, most notably Will Hunting. He is portrayed as a supportive yet tough mentor who contends with his own painful past. Sean values authenticity and emotional connection, longing to help others while struggling with his own grief over the loss of his wife. This foundational trait shapes his approach to therapy, as he strives to connect with Will on a deeper level while grappling with feelings of inadequacy and loss.

Values And Beliefs: Authenticity in relationships, the importance of emotional healing.

Strengths And Skills: Emotional resilience, psychological expertise, ability to connect with individuals, life experience.

Suggestions

Explore Sean's backstory further to emphasize his motivations.
Highlight Sean's strengths in more scenes to create a contrast with his vulnerabilities.

Follow-up Questions

How has Sean's past shaped his perspective on helping others?
What drives Sean to connect with Will specifically?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 9

Sean is deeply affected by the death of his wife, which adds layers to his character. He possesses emotional wounds that unsettle him and makes him sometimes defensive or blunt, particularly when discussing personal experiences. This complexity influences his approach to therapy and relationships and showcases both his vulnerabilities and his resilience.

Character Wound: Grief over his wife's death.

Character Flaws: Occasionally confrontational, struggles with vulnerability.

Suggestions

Show more flashbacks of Sean's life with his wife to deepen emotional impact.
Introduce moments of self-doubt to illustrate his interior conflicts.

Follow-up Questions

How does Sean's grief influence his relationship with Will?
In what ways does Sean's past hinder his progress in therapy sessions?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 8

Over the course of the story, Sean evolves from a man entrenched in grief and loss to someone who learns to embrace life and the importance of connection. Major turning points include his confrontations with Will, pushing him to reevaluate his own life choices and express vulnerability, which ultimately leads to their mutual growth.

Polarity Changes: Initially struggles with personal grief; gradually begins to heal through his connection with Will.

Transformation Triggers: His ongoing sessions with Will trigger a reevaluation of his own choices and losses.

Suggestions

Emphasize Sean's reflective moments to illustrate growth more clearly.
Integrate more interactions with other characters to showcase his evolving belief in connection.

Follow-up Questions

What specific moments signify Sean's growth throughout the storyline?
How does his relationship with Will help him confront his past?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 9

Sean's dialogue patterns reveal his background and personality. He speaks with a mix of warmth and directness, utilizing humor to diffuse tense situations while also employing poignant reflections on life and loss. His voice acts as a bridge between his own wounds and Will's struggles, serving as both a mentor and a friend.

Unique Voice: Utilizes humor and poignant wisdom in discussions; often blunt when discussing feelings.

Suggestions

Incorporate more Milton-like aphorisms to deepen his philosophical approach.
Explore more moments of Sean using humor to challenge Will.

Follow-up Questions

How does Sean's voice reflect his emotional state throughout the film?
What specific phrases or terms does Sean use that capture his personality and background?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Sean exhibits behavior that underscores his role as a mentor. He often speaks frankly with Will about life, pushing him to confront his fears while also revealing his own shortcomings. His choices reflect a desire for connection and healing, both for himself and for Will, marking him as a deeply compassionate and relatable character.

Motivations: To help Will heal while navigating his own unresolved grief.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to assist Will versus the need to come to terms with his own pain.

Suggestions

Add scenes that show Sean's day-to-day struggles to humanize him further.
Highlight Sean’s decision-making process in therapy sessions to reveal his internal conflicts.

Follow-up Questions

How does Sean’s decision-making reflect his emotional growth?
In what ways does he prioritize his emotional needs over Will’s?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 9

Sean's relationship with Will is central to the narrative, serving as the foundation for each character's growth. Their dynamic is complex, characterized by moments of conflict and reconciliation. Sean's nurturing yet firm guidance helps Will confront his past and emerge stronger, while Sean himself learns to navigate his own scars. This relationship acts as a catalyst for their mutual healing.

Suggestions

Focus on the shifts in Sean's patience level to show evolving dynamics.
Include more reflections from Sean about Will's impact on him as a mentor.

Follow-up Questions

How does Sean’s approach to mentoring differ between Will and other characters?
What moments signify a turning point in Sean's relationship with Will?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

In each scene Sean occupies, he instills a strong emotional pulse, often catalyzing significant moments for Will. His interactions shift the emotional tone towards introspection, challenge, or healing, thereby shaping the storyline's progress and the characters' journeys. His nuanced approach to dialogue often prompts pivotal discussions about love, loss, and healing.

Suggestions

Increase tension in scenes to amplify Sean's emotional impact.
Consider using quieter moments to enhance his internal reflections during critical scenes.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes do you feel showcase Sean's emotional influence the most?
How do Sean's choices impact the overall narrative trajectory?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

Sean embodies the archetype of a mentor in the screenplay, guiding Will through his emotional turmoil and connecting him to a broader worldview. This role is important as it highlights the themes of healing and mentorship, offering Will opportunities to confront his fears through the lens of Sean’s own experiences. His growth as a character underscores the impact of resilience and human connection.

Symbolic Role: A father figure and guide navigating loss and recovery.

Suggestions

Deepen Sean’s narrative motivations to reinforce his mentorship.
Integrate more character moments where Sean reflects on mentorship's role in his own life.

Follow-up Questions

How do Sean's experiences shape his approach to mentorship?
In what ways does Sean challenge the typical mentor archetype?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Sean's personal experiences echo the screenplay's major themes, particularly regarding the complexities of human relationships and the process of healing. His dynamic with Will serves to reinforce the story’s overarching ideas about confronting the past and taking responsibility for one's life. Sean’s insights often illuminate core conflicts, thereby enabling viewers to navigate emotional landscapes.

Suggestions

Focus on the parallels between Sean's and Will's stories to enhance thematic depth.
Use Sean’s philosophical insights to make connections with broader societal themes.

Follow-up Questions

What thematic insights does Sean provide about loss and healing?
How do his experiences enrich the central ideas of the story?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 9

Sean's emotional journey resonates strongly with viewers, especially due to his candid discussions of grief and healing. His honesty, coupled with his vulnerability, touches audiences, making his moments profoundly relatable. The emotional weight of his dialogue and interactions with Will tends to draw viewers into their complex world, heightening the film's impact.

Emotional Impact: Sean brings a deep emotional layer to the narrative, evoking empathy and introspection in the audience.

Suggestions

Build quieter, introspective moments to reinforce emotional resonance.
Balance humor with melancholy to enhance the duality of Sean's nature.

Follow-up Questions

What moments resonate most deeply for you regarding Sean's character?
How does Sean's journey encourage deeper audience reflection?

Personality Types

MBTI: enfj

Sean's empathetic nature and strong desire to guide and support others align with the ENFJ personality type.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: infj (70%)

Suggestions

Utilize Sean's ENFJ traits to highlight opportunities for growth and connection.
Explore how these personality traits can influence Sean's choices in scenes.

Follow-up Questions

How do Sean's personality traits affect his interactions with Will?
What scenes illustrate his ability to empathize with others effectively?

Enneagram: 2 - the helper

Sean consistently seeks to help others, often at his own emotional cost.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: 4 - the individualist (60%)

Suggestions

Illustrate times when Sean’s need to help conflicts with his personal needs.
Focus on moments that highlight Sean’s emotional depth alongside his helper tendencies.

Follow-up Questions

How does Sean's desire to help others sometimes hinder his personal life?
What moments reveal Sean's struggle between helping Will and taking care of himself?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (36)

The pivotal moment when Sean tells Will, 'It's not your fault.'

Why: This scene stands out as it encapsulates Sean's emotional weight and mentorship, as well as Will's breakthrough in accepting his past.

Weakest Scene (0)

None

Why: none

Suggestions:

Develop Sean's backstory further to engage viewers more deeply.
Increase Sean’s presence in high-stakes scenes to enhance tension.

Skylar - Score: 81/100

Role

Love Interest

Personality

MBTI: ENFJ
Enneagram: Type 2: The Helper

Scenes

Strongest: #40
Weakest: #34

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

An ambitious medical student seeking genuine connection.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

A layered character with insecurities about wealth and relationships.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

Skylar exhibits growth as she learns to navigate her feelings for Will and the complexities of true intimacy.

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Skylar has a thoughtful and playful dialogue style that reflects her intelligence and approachability.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Skylar’s choices reflect her ambition, desire for real connections, and willingness to confront challenges.

Relationship Dynamics 9/10

Skylar’s relationship with Will is central to the story, revealing her depth and ability to challenge him.

Scene Impact 8/10

Skylar significantly impacts multiple scenes, altering the emotional landscape and character motivations.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Skylar primarily fulfills the role of Will’s love interest while challenging him to grow.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Skylar is intricately tied to the themes of love, vulnerability, and personal growth.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Skylar elicits strong emotional responses through her depth and vulnerability.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Skylar is an ambitious and intelligent woman, an aspiring medical student who values hard work and dedication. She comes from a privileged background but seems to resist the expectations tied to it, showing genuine affection for Will. Her desire to connect with Will indicates her depth, as she seeks emotional rather than superficial relationships.

Values And Beliefs: Medical ethics, the importance of hard work, and emotional honesty.

Strengths And Skills: Intelligence, empathy, and determination.

Suggestions

Explore how her background influences her motivations and decisions.
Delve deeper into her thoughts about medicine and her future.

Follow-up Questions

How does Skylar's ambition affect her relationship with Will?
What inner conflicts does she face as she navigates her feelings for him?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Skylar harbors insecurities tied to her family dynamics, particularly around her inherited wealth and the pressure to succeed. Her past experiences shape her view of relationships, leading her to sincerely want to help Will rather than rescue him. This reflects her emotional depth and desire for genuine connection.

Character Wound: Fear of being seen as a superficial 'rich kid' and the loss of her father.

Character Flaws: Possibly projecting expectations and pressure onto Will.

Suggestions

Reveal more about her relationship with her father to understand her emotional depth.
Increase scenes showing her internal struggles about her identity and relationship with Will.

Follow-up Questions

What past experiences shaped her attitudes towards relationships?
How does she reconcile her upbringing with her desire for authenticity?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 8

Skylar's journey reflects her struggle to balance her ambition with her desire for a genuine emotional connection. She challenges Will to confront his own issues, leading to pivotal moments of growth in their relationship. Her insistence on understanding Will's past represents her determination to connect deeper than surface-level interactions.

Polarity Changes: From uncertainty in her relationship to a more assertive stance in requiring Will to open up.

Transformation Triggers: Her decision to confront Will about their relationship and express her feelings openly.

Suggestions

Enhance her response to Will's emotional walls to display her resilience.
Create moments that showcase her coping strategies as she faces setbacks.

Follow-up Questions

What does she learn about herself through her interactions with Will?
How does she handle feelings of rejection when Will pushes her away?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 7

Skylar's speech patterns reveal her intellect and passion. She balances light-hearted banter with serious discussions about expectations and feelings, demonstrating her authenticity and emotional intelligence. This duality not only engages Will but also sheds light on her deeper struggles.

Unique Voice: Intelligent humor, directness in expressing her feelings, and vulnerability during serious moments.

Suggestions

Incorporate more witty dialogue to showcase her humor.
Utilize her dialogues to reveal her vulnerabilities more explicitly.

Follow-up Questions

How do her conversation styles contribute to her relationship with Will?
What language can be utilized to emphasize her assertiveness?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Her choices often reflect a nurturing instinct toward Will, challenging him to confront his past while also admitting her vulnerabilities. These decisions illustrate her growth and desire for a meaningful life beyond her prescribed path.

Motivations: A desire for authenticity in relationships and to pursue her medical career.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to connect with Will contrast with her need for emotional security and honesty.

Suggestions

Showcase her decision-making processes to emphasize her internal dilemmas.
Expose her motivations regarding her familial expectations and how they impact her choices.

Follow-up Questions

What would make her choose to keep pursuing Will despite his walls?
How do her choices reflect a balance between ambition and emotional fulfillment?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 9

Her connection with Will illustrates the tension between vulnerability and emotional shields. As she navigates her love for him and his unresolved traumas, the dynamics highlight her empathetic nature and determination to break through his barriers. Their interactions are pivotal moments for both characters, showcasing growth and struggle.

Suggestions

Increase moments of intimacy to further explore their emotional connection.
Create deeper conflicts that challenge their bond and resolve together.

Follow-up Questions

How do her feelings toward Will evolve as he begins to confront his past?
What are the critical moments in their relationship that catalyze growth for both?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

Her presence in scenes brings a layer of emotional complexity, often serving as a catalyst for Will's realizations. Skylar's interactions can create tension and intimacy that compel Will to face his fears and self-sabotaging behavior. This influence highlights the necessity of her character in the narrative.

Suggestions

Utilize her emotional reactions to steer pivotal scenes more powerfully.
Enhance dramatic stakes in scenes to better showcase her influence.

Follow-up Questions

What emotional shifts could her presence further amplify in scenes?
How could her absence shift the dynamics in important plot moments?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

Skylar embodies the potential for transformative love that challenges Will's fears and insecurities. Her character serves as a vital contrast to Will's internal struggles, pushing him past his emotional barriers while simultaneously capturing his heart.

Symbolic Role: Represents emotional depth and growth, symbolizing a path out of emotional turmoil.

Suggestions

Emphasize her perspective on Will's journey to deepen her role.
Explore how her character could serve as the narrative's moral compass.

Follow-up Questions

How does her role evolve as Will confronts his emotional baggage?
What additional conflicts in her journey could amplify her narrative significance?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

Her journey intersects with the screenplay's major themes as she navigates her ambition and desire for connection. Skylar challenges Will to open up and embrace love, reinforcing the theme that true connection requires vulnerability amidst personal fears and external pressures.

Suggestions

Highlight her internal conflicts to enrich theme exploration.
Introduce motifs in her dialogue that resonate with larger themes for emphasis.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways does her character arc reinforce the overall messages of the screenplay?
How can her aspirations align with the thematic fabric throughout the narrative?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Skylar's struggles and experiences resonate emotionally with the audience, especially as she navigates her relationship with Will. Her desire for authenticity and connection amidst fear and rejection generates strong identification and sympathy, enhancing the film's emotional stakes.

Emotional Impact: Skylar evokes empathy and longing in the audience through her vulnerability and determination.

Suggestions

Deepen emotional beats to heighten audience engagement.
Add layers to her interactions with Will to enhance emotional stakes.

Follow-up Questions

How do her moments of vulnerability shape audience perception?
What key emotional moments should be intensified to create deeper connections?

Personality Types

MBTI: enfj

Skylar's extroverted and empathetic nature, along with her assertiveness in discussing her feelings, align well with the traits of an ENFJ.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: infj (50%)

Suggestions

Utilize her ENFJ traits to create motivating interactions with Will.
Explore her emotional insights that reflect INFJ tendencies.

Follow-up Questions

How does her potential INFJ nature influence her relationships?
What scenes could highlight her extroverted qualities more prominently?

Enneagram: type 2: the helper

Skylar often demonstrates a desire to help Will confront his issues, indicative of a Type 2 personality focused on support and connection.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: type 3: the achiever (60%)

Suggestions

Develop her supportive traits to showcase her nurturing side.
Incorporate challenges that push her to balance her aspirations with her desire to support.

Follow-up Questions

How can Skylar’s type manifest in conflicts throughout the screenplay?
What moments reveal her struggles with self-identity beyond being a helper?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (40)

The moment Skylar expresses her desire for Will to be open and confronts her own fears of rejection.

Why: This scene encapsulates her character's emotional depth and sets the stage for significant relationship growth.

Weakest Scene (34)

Skylar's emotional confrontation with Will after his outburst.

Why: While it highlights her vulnerability, it doesn't fully capitalize on her strength as a character.

Suggestions:

Deepen her responses to show resilience while confronting Will.
Add layers of introspection to address her feelings about the confrontation.

Lambeau - Score: 77/100

Role

Mentor

Personality

MBTI: ENTJ
Enneagram: Three

Scenes

Strongest: #40
Weakest: #11

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Highly intelligent mentor figure with a focus on success

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Mentor with a strong drive undermined by underlying fears

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 6/10

Character exhibits growth through understanding Will's true needs

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Articulate, authoritative, often academically intense dialogue

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Driven by ambition, often leads to pressure on Will

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Complex mentor-mentee relationship marked by conflict

Scene Impact 8/10

Lambeau drives tension and expectation in key scenes

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Mentor role primarily focused on Will’s success

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Embodies themes of ambition and personal connection

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Generates tension and sympathy in mentorship struggles

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Lambeau is a highly intelligent and accomplished mathematics professor at MIT. He values intelligence and achievement, often pushing Will to recognize and leverage his extraordinary abilities. He represents the world of academia and success, embodying the drive to excel in a competitive environment. His foundational traits include a belief in potential and responsibility to nurture talent, reflecting a paternal concern for Will's future.

Values And Beliefs: Achievement, nurturing talent, belief in potential

Strengths And Skills: Expertise in mathematics, mentoring, knowledge of academic pathways

Suggestions

Deepen Lambeau's backstory to explore more personal motivations behind his mentorship.
Show moments of vulnerability to add complexity to his character.

Follow-up Questions

What are Lambeau's personal stakes in helping Will succeed?
How might Lambeau's past experiences shape his approach to mentorship?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Lambeau's complexity arises from his struggle to balance his success with his genuine desire to help Will. He sometimes comes off as arrogant or pushy, leading to conflict with Will and Sean. His internal conflict can be seen in his reactions when faced with Will's resistance; he fears that pushing too hard may ruin the potential he sees in Will, revealing his fears of inadequacy.

Character Wound: Fear of inadequacy in the face of potential failure of his mentorship

Character Flaws: Arrogance, single-mindedness in pursuing Will's success

Suggestions

Craft scenes that expose Lambeau's vulnerabilities or past failures.
Develop dialogues that reflect his internal conflict more explicitly.

Follow-up Questions

What past failures does Lambeau hold onto that impact his current actions?
How does Lambeau’s perspective on success influence his relationship with Will?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 6

Throughout the story, Lambeau's character arc is primarily defined by his relationship with Will. He begins with a narrow focus on Will's potential and the accolades he could achieve. However, over the course of their interactions, he begins to recognize Will's need for emotional support and autonomy, leading to a broader understanding of success beyond accolades.

Polarity Changes: Initially sees Will as a project to foster, transitions to recognizing Will's autonomy.

Transformation Triggers: Conversations with Sean and Will that challenge his understanding of success and mentorship.

Suggestions

Clarify the moment Lambeau shifts from a focus on success to valuing Will’s choices.
Include more scenes that illustrate Lambeau's realization of Will's autonomy.

Follow-up Questions

What moments signify a shift in Lambeau's understanding of success?
How do Lambeau's relationships with other characters contribute to his transformation?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 7

Lambeau's dialogue reflects his academic background, often filled with mathematical terminology and a formal tone. His conversations with Will display a tendency to convey pressure and expectation, which can sometimes come across as overwhelming. As the story progresses, his dialogue subtly shifts to incorporate more compassion and understanding as he learns to navigate Will's emotional landscape.

Unique Voice: Lambeau often speaks in an authoritative tone laden with academic jargon, underscoring his expertise and confidence.

Suggestions

Add instances where Lambeau uses more relatable language to connect with Will.
Include more informal dialogue to demonstrate a shift in his character.

Follow-up Questions

How does Lambeau's speech evolve as his understanding of Will deepens?
What dialogue lines best showcase his struggle between mentorship and control?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Lambeau's choices stem from his ambition to see Will fulfill his potential, at times resulting in pressure and expectations that can alienate Will. His decisions often reflect a focus on academic accolades and professional recognition over emotional support, creating tension in his interactions with Will. With his eventual recognition of Will's independence, Lambeau starts to make more supportive choices.

Motivations: To nurture Will's potential and achieve recognition in the academic field.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to mentor and gain recognition; needs to understand and respect Will's autonomy.

Suggestions

Highlight moments where Lambeau acts out of concern rather than ambition.
Add choices that showcase his journey toward being more supportive.

Follow-up Questions

What key decisions define Lambeau's ambition, and how do they affect his relationship with Will?
How do Lambeau's motivations clash with Will's desires throughout the screenplay?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Lambeau's relationship with Will is central to the story. While initially presenting himself as an authoritative figure pushing Will toward success, their dynamic becomes strained, revealing Lambeau's struggles in balancing expectation with understanding. His interactions with Sean also showcase a rivalry based on their differing methodologies of mentorship. Lambeau's complexity increases as he learns from Sean and adjusts his approach with Will.

Suggestions

Show more interactions between Lambeau and Will that highlight their conflicts and mutual growth.
Include deeper conversations between Lambeau and Sean that emphasize their differing views.

Follow-up Questions

How does Lambeau's dynamic with Will shape his own character development?
What pivotal moments in their relationship lead to significant changes for both characters?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

Lambeau's presence in scenes typically embodies the external pressures and expectations placed on Will, often resulting in conflict between them. In critical moments, his insistence on Will's potential creates emotional weight and stakes, influencing the overall plot trajectory. Lambeau often acts as a catalyst for Will's reflections on his own choices.

Suggestions

Maximize Lambeau's impact in key scenes by emphasizing his emotional responses.
Ensure his actions contribute directly to Will’s transformation at pivotal moments.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes exemplify Lambeau's influence on Will's decisions?
How does Lambeau's behavior introduce conflict in key moments?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

Lambeau fulfills the role of the mentor, pushing Will towards success but also struggling with the balance of control versus support. His symbolic function relates to the pressures of ambition and the desire to instill greatness in others. Over time, Lambeau learns to better navigate mentorship by recognizing Will's needs for autonomy.

Symbolic Role: Represents ambition, success, and the expectations of academia.

Suggestions

Capture moments where Lambeau's role as a mentor both helps and hinders Will’s growth.
Introduce scenarios where Lambeau's mentoring style is challenged.

Follow-up Questions

How does Lambeau's mentoring approach shift throughout the screenplay?
In what ways does Lambeau embody the challenges and rewards of being a mentor?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Lambeau's journey intricately weaves into the major themes of ambition, potential, and personal connection within the screenplay. His relationship with Will highlights the balance between nurturing talent and ensuring personal fulfillment, reinforcing the idea that true success encompasses both the achievement of goals and emotional well-being.

Suggestions

Emphasize the thematic elements of ambition and nurture through Lambeau's actions.
Clarify how Lambeau’s character growth relates to the overarching themes of the story.

Follow-up Questions

How do Lambeau's actions specifically drive the screenplay's central themes?
What thematic questions does Lambeau's character raise throughout the story?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Lambeau evokes a mix of emotions in the audience—aspiration for Will’s academic potential alongside frustration due to his struggles with connection and recognition. The complexity of his character engenders both admiration and sympathy as he navigates the difficult waters of mentorship, creating emotional beats that resonate deeply.

Emotional Impact: Creates tension and sympathy through aspirations and struggles for connection.

Suggestions

Enhance emotional moments through vulnerability displayed by Lambeau.
Create stakes that deepen the audience's emotional investment in his interactions.

Follow-up Questions

What moments in the screenplay generate the strongest emotional responses tied to Lambeau?
How can Lambeau’s emotional journey deepen the impact of the story?

Personality Types

MBTI: entj

Lambeau exhibits traits typical of an ENTJ, including goal-oriented leadership and decisiveness, with a strong focus on success and efficiency.

Confidence: 75%

Suggestions

Explore Lambeau's strategic thinking in his mentorship.
Use his decisive nature to create conflict that challenges Will.

Follow-up Questions

How does Lambeau's ENTJ traits influence his mentorship style?
In what situations does his assertiveness both help and hinder Will?

Enneagram: three

Lambeau's focus on achievement and success aligns with Enneagram type Three, often concerned with image and striving for recognition.

Confidence: 80%

Suggestions

Delve deeper into how Lambeau's image consciousness shapes his relationships.
Highlight how his Enneagram type influences his actions throughout the screenplay.

Follow-up Questions

What internal conflicts arise from Lambeau's type Three traits?
How can his drive for success impact his mentorship of Will?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (40)

Lambeau congratulates Will on his new job, finally acknowledging Will's autonomy and growth.

Why: This scene stands out as it showcases Lambeau's acceptance and growth as a mentor, illustrating a crucial turning point in their relationship.

Weakest Scene (11)

In the courtroom scene, Lambeau appears as an outsider and doesn't connect with Will’s experience.

Why: This scene underlines his institutional role without showcasing his emotional investment.

Suggestions:

Include more emotional stakes for Lambeau in the courtroom context.
Allow Lambeau to express deeper concerns for Will during this pivotal moment.

Theme

Theme Details

Theme Explanation

Personal Growth and Self-Discovery (50%)

Will's journey to understand himself, his past, and his potential, as well as Sean's exploration of his own life experiences and feelings about his late wife.

The screenplay explores the personal growth and self-discovery of its main characters, Will and Sean. Will, a troubled young man with a difficult past, struggles to come to terms with his own identity, his relationships, and his future. Through his interactions with Sean, a therapist, and other characters, Will begins to understand himself better and make positive changes in his life. Similarly, Sean, a therapist who has experienced loss and pain in his own life, also embarks on a journey of self-discovery as he confronts his feelings about his late wife and his own past.

Strengthening Personal Growth and Self-Discovery:

Suggestion Type	How to Strengthen the Theme
Dialogue - Scene 1	Have Chuckie reflect on his own life and aspirations, expressing a desire for something more than their current dead-end jobs, which could foreshadow his later opportunity at Tri-Tech.
Action - Scene 2	When Will disables the pitching machine, have him explain his actions as a need to understand the machine's mechanics, emphasizing his curiosity and intelligence.
Visual - Scene 6	Show a visual representation of Sean's emotional state, such as a bottle of unopened pain medication, to hint at his personal struggles and internal pain.
Character Arc - Scene 13	Develop Will's character arc by having him confront the consequences of his actions, such as facing legal issues and receiving probation, which will encourage his growth and maturity.
Story Arc - Scene 25	Strengthen the theme of personal growth and self-discovery by having Will gradually introduce Skylar to his friends and family, symbolizing his willingness to open up and trust others.

Friendship and Loyalty (30%)

The strong bonds of friendship and loyalty between Will, Chuckie, Morgan, and Billy, as well as the complicated relationship between Sean and his old college roommate Gerald.

The screenplay also highlights the theme of friendship and loyalty, as we see the strong bonds between Will and his friends, who stand by him through thick and thin. Despite their differences and the challenges they face, they remain loyal to each other and support each other through difficult times. Additionally, the complicated relationship between Sean and his old college roommate Gerald also explores the theme of friendship and loyalty, as they reconnect and work together to help Will. The theme of friendship and loyalty is an important one, as it highlights the importance of supportive relationships and the role they can play in helping us navigate the challenges of life.

Education and Learning (20%)

Will's journey to understand advanced mathematics and his own potential, as well as the role of education in personal growth and self-discovery.

The screenplay also touches on the theme of education and learning, as we see Will's journey to understand advanced mathematics and his own potential. Through his interactions with Professor Lambeau and other characters, Will begins to see the value of education and the role it can play in personal growth and self-discovery. The theme of education and learning is an important one, as it highlights the importance of continuous learning and the role it can play in helping us understand ourselves and the world around us.

Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site	Description
Studio Binder	Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly	Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August	Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics	Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme	Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script	Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts

Robert McKee: "The audience doesn’t go to the movies to see plot; they go to feel emotion, to be moved."

Scene by Scene Emotions

Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal Goals	The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate his relationships, confront his past traumas, and make decisions about his future.
External Goals	The protagonist's external goal is to assert his independence, navigate societal expectations, and pursue personal fulfillment
Philosophical Conflict	The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around the tension between societal expectations and personal desires, as well as the clash between traditional authority and individualistic rebellion

Character Development Contribution: The protagonist's internal and external goals drive his journey towards self-discovery, growth, and understanding. The philosophical conflict challenges his beliefs and values, leading to personal development and a deeper sense of identity.

Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflict create a compelling narrative arc, showcasing the protagonist's evolution and challenges. They drive the plot forward, leading to pivotal moments of growth and realization.

Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflict add thematic depth to the screenplay by exploring themes of identity, autonomy, vulnerability, and personal growth. They provoke thought on societal norms, personal values, and the pursuit of fulfillment.

Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site	Description
Creative Screenwriting	How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder	What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict	How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great	By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals	By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?

What's going on here? - Scenes are rated on many critreia. The goal isn't to try to maximize every number; \ It's to make you aware of what's happening in your scenes. You might have very good reasons to have character development but not advance the story, or have a scene without conflict. Obviously if your dialogue is really bad, you should probably look into that.

Abbreviate Headers

Story Content

Character Development

Scene Elements

Audience Engagement

Technical Aspects

			Story Content			Character Development				Scene Elements					Audience Engagement				Technical Aspects
Click for Full Analysis	Tone	Overall	Concept	Plot	Originality	Characters	Character Changes	Internal Goal	External Goal	Conflict	Opposition	High stakes	Story forward	Twist	Emotional Impact	Dialogue	Engagement	Pacing	Formatting	Structure
1 - A Hilarious Tale of Feline Fate	Humorous, Dark, Irreverent	9	8	8	9	9	6	8	7	6	7	5	8	7	7	10	9	9	8	8
2 - From MIT Lecture to Batting Cages Confrontation	Humorous, Sarcastic, Confrontational	8	7	7	9	9	5	8	7	7	7	6	7	8	6	8	9	8	9	8
3 - A Contemplative Afternoon - Sean McGuire's Dilemma and the Boys' Decision	Serious, Humorous, Sarcastic	8	7	7	9	8	6	8	7	7	7	6	7	7	6	8	9	8	8	8
4 - Conflicts at MIT and South Boston: Proof Challenges and Food Mishaps Lead to a Confrontation with Bobby Champa	Sarcastic, Confrontational, Humorous	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	9	7	7	10	9	9	8	8
5 - Will's Uncontrolled Fury: A Chaotic Encounter	Intense, Violent, Chaotic	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	7	10	8	10	9	7	9	7	9	9	9	8
6 - Will's Fight, Sean's Detachment, and the Mystery Math Magician's Entrance	Intense, Suspenseful, Serious, Dark	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	7	10	8	10	9	7	8	9	9	9	8	8
7 - A Genius at Work: Conflict and Consequences	Intense, Humorous, Confrontational	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	8	8	7	8	7	7	9	9	8	8	8
8 - Will Defends Chuckie's Honor in Heated Historical Debate	Sarcastic, Confrontational, Intellectual	9	8	9	9	10	8	8	7	9	8	7	9	7	7	10	9	9	8	8
9 - Skylar Approaches Will at the Bar	Light-hearted, Flirtatious, Sarcastic	9	8	8	9	9	5	8	7	3	6	2	6	7	6	10	9	8	9	8
10 - Friendly Rivalry Turns Sour	Humorous, Confrontational, Defiant	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	7	8	7	7	9	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
11 - Will's Arraignment and Self-Defense Argument	Serious, Intense, Intellectual	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	8	9	9	8	8	8
12 - Will's Phone Call and Meeting with Professor Lambeau	Sarcastic, Confrontational, Humorous	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	7	8	8	8	9	7	7	10	9	8	9	8
13 - Will's Therapy Session Turns Heated	Sarcastic, Confrontational, Reflective	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	7	7	6	7	7	8	9	9	8	8	8
14 - Will's Math Breakthrough with Lambeau's Checkerboard Analogy	Serious, Intellectual, Confrontational	9	9	9	9	9	7	8	7	7	7	6	8	7	6	8	9	8	8	8
15 - Hypnosis Session Disrupted: A Childhood Memory Revealed	Intense, Serious, Humorous	8	9	7	9	8	8	8	7	6	7	6	7	7	9	7	9	8	8	8
16 - Sean Maguire's Dying and Bereavement Class with a Surprise Guest	Resigned, Sarcastic, Awkward, Humorous	8	7	7	9	8	3	8	7	5	7	3	6	7	4	9	9	8	8	8
17 - A Playful First Date and a Serious Reunion	Playful, Light-hearted, Romantic	9	8	8	9	9	6	8	7	3	6	2	7	7	8	9	9	8	8	8
18 - Lambeau Convinces Sean to Tutor a Special Student	Serious, Reflective, Informative	9	8	8	9	9	7	8	7	7	7	6	8	7	7	8	9	8	8	8
19 - The Power Struggle: Will Hunting Meets Sean Maguire	Intense, Confrontational, Emotional	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	10	10	9	9	8	8
20 - A Day at the Racetrack: Will Shares His Family Background	Intimate, Playful, Reflective	9	8	8	9	9	7	8	7	4	5	3	7	6	9	8	9	9	8	8
21 - Sean Challenges Will's Understanding of Life	Intense, Reflective, Confrontational	9	8	8	9	10	8	8	7	9	8	8	8	8	10	9	9	9	8	8
22 - Construction Work and Conflicts	Humorous, Sarcastic, Casual	8	7	7	9	9	4	8	7	6	7	4	7	7	5	8	9	8	8	8
23 - Overcoming Fear of New Relationships	Reflective, Humorous, Introspective	9	9	8	8	9	8	8	7	6	7	5	7	7	9	10	9	8	8	8
24 - Resolving Conflicts and Changing Theories: A Day in the Life of Will	Reflective, Intimate, Nostalgic	9	8	7	9	9	8	8	7	4	7	3	7	7	10	9	9	8	8	8
25 - Intimate Moments and Bar Banter: Will and Skylar's Night Out with Friends	Humorous, Light-hearted, Playful	9	8	8	8	9	6	8	7	4	6	3	7	7	7	9	9	9	8	8
26 - Chuckie Insists on Giving Will and Skylar a Ride Home	Humorous, Intimate, Casual	8	7	7	8	8	7	8	7	5	7	4	6	7	6	8	9	8	9	8
27 - Competing Visions for Will's Future: Sean and Lambeau's Contrasting Perspectives	Serious, Argumentative, Reflective	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	8	10	9	8	8	8
28 - Chuckie's Demand and Tri-Tech's Compliance	Confident, Humorous, Confrontational	8	7	7	9	9	6	8	7	6	8	5	7	8	5	8	9	8	9	8
29 - Skylar's Inheritance and Will's Photographic Memory	Playful, Reflective, Intimate	9	8	8	9	9	7	8	7	6	7	5	7	7	8	8	9	8	8	8
30 - Chuckie's Perspective on Will	Awkward, Humorous, Reflective	8	7	8	9	9	6	8	7	5	6	4	7	7	7	8	9	8	8	8
31 - Arguing over Accuracy: A Tense Encounter in Lambeau's Office	Intense, Confrontational, Defiant	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	10	8	9	8	8	9	9	9	9	8	8
32 - An Emotional Goodbye	Intense, Emotional, Confrontational	10	9	9	9	10	9	9	8	9	9	8	9	9	10	10	10	9	8	8
33 - Will's Tense Encounters: Skylar, NSA, and Friends	Tense, Emotional, Awkward, Serious	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	7	9	7	9	9	6	9	8	8	8	9	9
34 - Will's Internal Struggle with NSA Job Offer	Intense, Reflective, Confrontational	9	9	8	9	10	9	9	8	9	8	8	8	8	10	10	9	9	8	8
35 - Uncertain Futures: Tension and Confrontation	Serious, Humorous, Reflective	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	7	8	7	7	7	8	9	9	8	8	8
36 - Heated Disagreement over Will's Future	Tense, Emotional, Confrontational	9	8	8	8	9	8	9	8	10	9	9	9	8	10	9	9	9	8	9
37 - Healing Wounds of Childhood Abuse	Intense, Emotional, Reflective	10	9	8	9	10	8	9	7	7	6	6	7	7	10	9	9	8	8	8
38 - A Day in South Boston: A Genius Janitor's Birthday Celebration	Humorous, Reflective, Intimate	8	7	7	8	9	7	8	7	6	7	5	7	7	8	8	9	9	8	8
39 - A Surprise Fixer-Upper for Will's 21st Birthday	Humorous, Heartfelt, Light-hearted	9	8	8	9	9	5	8	7	3	6	2	6	7	7	8	9	8	9	8
40 - A Warm Farewell: Sean and Will's Final Therapy Session	Reflective, Supportive, Humorous	9	8	7	9	9	8	8	7	3	5	4	6	6	9	8	8	8	9	9
41 - New Job Celebrations and Farewells	Reflective, Bittersweet, Hopeful	9	8	8	8	9	8	8	7	4	5	5	7	6	9	9	8	8	9	9
42 - Farewells and New Beginnings	Reflective, Bittersweet, Hopeful	9	8	9	9	9	9	8	7	6	6	7	8	7	10	8	8	8	9	9

Summary of Scene Level Analysis

Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.

Scene Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Character development
Emotional depth
Engaging dialogue
Strong character interactions

Scene Weaknesses

Lack of high-stakes conflict
Limited emotional depth
Low external conflict
Slightly predictable outcome
Limited character development

Suggestions

Work on elevating the stakes and increasing the conflict to engage the audience more
Focus on developing the emotional depth of the characters to create a more impactful story
Improve external conflict to make the plot more engaging and dynamic
Avoid predictability by adding surprising plot twists and turns
Make sure all characters receive equal attention and development to maximize their impact on the story

World Building

Physical environment: The physical environment in the screenplay is primarily set in South Boston, a rough and working-class neighborhood, with contrasting locations such as M.I.T. classrooms, a funland indoor funpark, and upscale bars. The environment is gritty and real, reflecting the characters' roots and backgrounds.
Culture: The cultural elements in the screenplay include thick Boston accents, references to M.I.T., and a strong sense of camaraderie and loyalty among friends. The cultural atmosphere is authentic and intellectual, with a mix of academic and working-class values.
Society: The societal structure is depicted through the dynamics of friendship, loyalty, and humor within the working-class community of South Boston. The societal structures also include academic hierarchies and power dynamics, as seen in the M.I.T. classrooms and office settings.
Technology: Technology is not a significant focus in the screenplay, with minimal references to basic office equipment, phones, and a pitching machine in the batting cages. The characters' experiences and actions are primarily influenced by their relationships, personal struggles, and intellectual pursuits.
Characters influence: The unique physical environment, culture, society, and technology shape the characters' experiences and actions by providing a backdrop of gritty realism, intellectual challenge, and personal growth. The characters are influenced by their working-class roots, academic pursuits, and personal relationships.
Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the narrative by providing contrasting locations and settings that highlight the characters' struggles, intellectual pursuits, and personal growth. The environment and societal structures create tension and conflict, driving the narrative forward.
Thematic depth contribution: The world elements contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring themes of class conflict, personal growth, intellectual pursuit, and the power of relationships. The contrasting locations and societal structures provide a rich backdrop for exploring these themes.

Voice Analysis
Summary:	The writer's voice in the screenplay is characterized by sharp dialogue, witty humor, and a focus on character-driven interactions. The dialogue is natural and authentic, capturing the nuances of the characters' personalities and the setting. The writer also effectively uses humor to create a sense of camaraderie and to lighten the tone of the film.
Voice Contribution	The writer's voice contributes to the script by creating a sense of authenticity and relatability. The characters feel like real people with genuine motivations and flaws. The humor also helps to create a sense of connection between the characters and the audience.
Best Representation Scene	13 - Will's Therapy Session Turns Heated
Best Scene Explanation	Scene 13 is the best representation of the writer's voice because it captures the characters' personalities and the natural flow of conversation. The dialogue is witty and humorous, but it also reveals the characters' vulnerabilities. The scene also highlights the writer's ability to create a sense of tension and suspense.

Style and Similarities

The writing style in this screenplay is characterized by sharp dialogue, intense character interactions, and a blend of humor and emotional depth. The scenes often explore complex themes, such as personal growth, identity, and social dynamics, while also maintaining a focus on authentic human relationships.

Style Similarities:

Writer	Explanation
Aaron Sorkin	Multiple scenes display Sorkin's signature fast-paced dialogue, intellectual conflicts, and character-driven storytelling, creating a compelling and thought-provoking narrative.
Quentin Tarantino	Several scenes showcase Tarantino's ability to create memorable characters, engaging dialogue, and tension-filled scenes, contributing to the screenplay's unique style.
Richard Linklater	The focus on naturalistic dialogue, character relationships, and emotional depth in various scenes is reminiscent of Linklater's storytelling, adding authenticity and relatability to the narrative.

Other Similarities: The screenplay also incorporates elements from other notable screenwriters, such as David Mamet's intense character interactions and moral dilemmas, and Greta Gerwig's exploration of personal growth and complex relationships. This eclectic mix of styles results in a rich and engaging narrative that captivates the audience.

Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern	Explanation
Tone and Emotional Impact	There is a strong correlation between the scene's tone and emotional impact. Scenes with a 'Intense', 'Serious', or 'Humorous' tone tend to have a higher emotional impact. It indicates that the author excels at conveying emotions when using these tones.
Dialogue and Character Changes	There is a noticeable correlation between the quality of dialogue and character changes. Scenes with higher dialogue scores also tend to have significant character changes. It suggests that the author effectively uses dialogue to drive character development.
Plot and Conflict	Scenes with higher plot scores also tend to have higher conflict scores. This correlation indicates that the author effectively incorporates conflict to move the story forward and maintain the audience's interest.
Confrontational Tone and High Stakes	Scenes with a confrontational tone ('Sarcastic', 'Confrontational', or 'Defiant') are more likely to have higher stakes. This pattern implies that the author uses confrontational situations to raise the stakes and create tension.
Light-hearted Tone and Lower Conflict	Scenes with a light-hearted tone ('Light-hearted', 'Playful', 'Flirtatious') tend to have lower conflict scores. This pattern suggests that the author uses lighter tones to provide relief and contrast in the story.
Scene Grade and Tone Diversity	There is a weak negative correlation between scene grades and tone diversity. Scenes with a wider variety of tones tend to have lower overall grades. It might indicate that the author should focus on maintaining a consistent tone while incorporating different elements.

Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The screenplay showcases the writer's talent for creating engaging dialogue, authentic characters, and vivid settings. The scenes display a strong understanding of storytelling techniques and a unique voice. However, there is room for improvement in character development, pacing, and emotional depth in certain areas.

Key Improvement Areas

Character Development

While the characters are well-defined, there are opportunities to further explore their inner struggles, motivations, and emotional arcs throughout the screenplay.

Pacing

Ensuring a consistent and engaging pace will help maintain audience interest and heighten the emotional impact of the story.

Emotional Depth

Deepening the emotional resonance of the scenes will create a more impactful and memorable experience for the audience.

Suggestions

Type	Suggestion	Rationale
Book	Save the Cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody	This book provides valuable insights into character development, plot structure, and emotional beats, which can help the writer enhance the complexity and depth of character relationships and overall story.
Exercise	Write a character monologue for each main character, revealing their deepest fears, desires, and motivations.Practice In SceneProv	This exercise will help the writer explore the emotional depth of their characters and create more impactful and engaging scenes.
Screenplay	The Pursuit of Happyness by Steve Conrad	This screenplay offers a great example of character development, pacing, and emotional depth, which can inspire the writer to enhance their own screenplay.

Additional Notes: The writer demonstrates a strong command of dialogue and scene structure, which can be further honed by studying successful screenplays and engaging in regular writing exercises. Continue to focus on creating authentic characters, engaging dialogue, and vivid settings while incorporating the suggested improvements to elevate the overall quality of the screenplay.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope	Trope Details	Trope Explanation
The Chosen One	Will Hunting is identified as a mathematical genius who is chosen by Professor Lambeau to prove an advanced Fourier system.	The Chosen One is a trope where a character is identified as special or unique, often because of their skills or abilities. This trope can be found in movies like 'The Matrix' where Neo is identified as the One.
The Mentor	Professor Lambeau acts as a mentor to Will Hunting, guiding him and challenging him to prove the theorem.	The Mentor is a trope where an experienced character guides and supports a less experienced character. This trope can be found in movies like 'Star Wars' where Obi-Wan Kenobi acts as a mentor to Luke Skywalker.
The Prodigal Son	Will Hunting is a prodigal son who has wasted his potential and is given a second chance by Professor Lambeau.	The Prodigal Son is a trope where a character who has wasted their potential is given a second chance. This trope can be found in movies like 'The Pursuit of Happyness' where Chris Gardner is given a second chance to succeed.
The Odd Couple	Will Hunting and Sean Maguire are an odd couple who have conflicting personalities and interests.	The Odd Couple is a trope where two characters have conflicting personalities and interests. This trope can be found in movies like 'The Odd Couple' where Felix and Oscar have conflicting personalities and interests.
The Power Struggle	Will Hunting and Sean Maguire engage in a power struggle, with Will challenging Sean's expertise and Sean standing up to Will's disrespectful behavior.	The Power Struggle is a trope where two characters engage in a power struggle, often to establish dominance. This trope can be found in movies like 'Fight Club' where Tyler Durden and the narrator engage in a power struggle.
The Love Interest	Skylar is the love interest of Will Hunting, who falls in love with him despite their conflicting backgrounds.	The Love Interest is a trope where a character falls in love with another character. This trope can be found in movies like 'The Notebook' where Allie falls in love with Noah.
The Rival	Clark is the rival of Chuckie, who condescendingly questions Chuckie about his knowledge of history.	The Rival is a trope where a character has a rival who challenges them. This trope can be found in movies like 'Rocky' where Rocky has a rival in Apollo Creed.
The Transformation	Will Hunting undergoes a transformation, from a troubled youth to a successful mathematician.	The Transformation is a trope where a character undergoes a transformation, often as a result of a life-changing event. This trope can be found in movies like 'My Fair Lady' where Eliza Doolittle undergoes a transformation.
The Redemption	Will Hunting seeks redemption by taking responsibility for his actions and making amends.	The Redemption is a trope where a character seeks redemption by taking responsibility for their actions and making amends. This trope can be found in movies like 'A Beautiful Mind' where John Nash seeks redemption.
The Anti-Hero	Will Hunting is an anti-hero who challenges authority and breaks the rules.	The Anti-Hero is a trope where a character challenges authority and breaks the rules. This trope can be found in movies like 'Deadpool' where Deadpool challenges authority and breaks the rules.

Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number	Line
19	Will: If you ever disrespect my wife again...I will end you.
35	Chuckie: You're sittin' on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in.
22	Chuckie: Why didn't you give me none of your twat last night?
40	Will: You're not my father.
33	Skylar: I love you, Will. No take-backs.

Some Loglines to consider:

A gifted but troubled young man from South Boston must confront his traumatic past and find his purpose in life with the help of an unconventional therapist.
A mathematical prodigy struggling to break free from his working-class roots is offered a chance at a prestigious career, but must first come to terms with his own demons.
When a brilliant but directionless young man is recruited by elite academics, he must decide whether to embrace his intellectual gifts or stay true to his roots and the relationships that define him.
A young man from a troubled background discovers his exceptional mathematical abilities, leading him on a journey of self-discovery as he navigates the worlds of academia and personal relationships.
A Southie native with a troubled past is offered a chance at a prestigious career, but must choose between the path of intellectual pursuit or remaining loyal to his working-class roots and the friends who have always been there for him.

Help & FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

Start with the executive summary to get a bird's eye view.
After that, the high-level menu will offer insights into the story, themes, and characters.
The scene-by-scene analysis will demonstrate how each scene performs across various criteria, summarized in the column headings.
Click on any scene title to view the full analysis, including critiques and suggestions for improvement.
'Other Analyses' provides various insights into your writing and different perspectives, although it might not lead to significant rewrites of your script.

Click on the Print Analysis link in the left menu. You can then print to PDF or save it as PDF.

Click the Scene Analysis link on the left menu. Next to each scene title you can click "improve". In the improve page you can select any scene from your script to work on.

Yes. You own the rights to your script. We do not claim any ownership of your script. We're simply using it to generate the analysis.

No. We do not use your script to train our AI. The AI uses your script to generate the analysis and nothing else.

SceneProv is a game that helps you improve your craft.
You can play it for free. If you have scripts analyzed, the AI might recommend exercises from SceneProv to help you improve your writing. Go to the craft tab to see what it recommended.
Let the AI take a turn when you're blocked or you want to riff on a scene. Each scene you create in SceneProv gets graded at the end.

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EXT. SOUTH BOSTON ST. PATRICK'S DAY PARADE -- DAY

CUT TO:

INT. L STREET BAR & GRILLE, SOUTH BOSTON -- EVENING

The bar is dirty, more than a little run down. If there is ever
a cook on duty, he's not here now. As we pan across several
empty tables, we can almost smell the odor of last nights beer
and crushed pretzels on the floor.

CHUCKIE
Oh my God, I got the most fucked up
thing I been meanin' to tell you.

As the camera rises, we find FOUR YOUNG MEN seated around a
table near the back of the bar.

ALL
Oh Jesus. Here we go.

The guy holding court is CHUCKIE SULLIVAN, 20, and the largest
of the bunch. He is loud, boisterous, a born entertainer. Next
to him is WILL HUNTING, 20, handsome and confident, a soft-
spoken leader. On Will's right sits BILLY MCBRIDE, 22, heavy,
quiet, someone you definitely wouldn't want to tangle with.
Finally there is MORGAN O'MALLY, 19, smaller than the other
guys. Wiry and anxious, Morgan listens to Chuckie's horror
stories with eager disgust.

All four boys speak with thick Boston accents. This is a rough,
working class Irish neighborhood and these boys are its product.

CHUCKIE
You guys know my cousin Mikey Sullivan?

ALL
Yeah.

CHUCKIE
Well you know how he loves animals
right? Anyway, last week he's drivin'
home... (laughs)

ALL
What? Come on!

CHUCKIE
(trying not to laugh)
I'm sorry, 'cause you know Mikey, the
fuckin guy loves animals, and this is
the last person you'd want this to
happen to.
WILL
Chuckie, what the fuck happened?

CHUCKIE
Okay. He's driving along and this
fuckin' cat jumps in front of his car,
and so he hits this cat--

Chuckie is really laughing now.

MORGAN
--That isn't funny--

CHUCKIE
--and he's like "shit! Motherfucker!"
And he looks in his rearview and sees
this cat-- I'm sorry--

BILLY
Fuckin' Chuckie!

CHUCKIE
So he sees this cat tryin to make it
across the street and it's not lookin'
so good.

WILL
It's walkin' pretty slow at this point.

MORGAN
You guys are fuckin' sick.

CHUCKIE
So Mikey's like "Fuck, I gotta put this
thing out of its misery"--So he gets a
hammer--

WILL/MORGAN/BILLY
OH!

CHUCKIE
--out of his tool box, and starts
chasin' the cat and starts whackin' it
with the hammer. You know, tryin' to put
the thing out of its misery.

MORGAN
Jesus.

CHUCKIE
And all the time he's apologizin' to the
cat, goin' "I'm sorry." BANG, "I'm
sorry." BANG!

BILLY
Like it can understand.
CHUCKIE
And this Samoan guy comes runnin' out of
his house and he's like "What the fuck
are you doing to my cat?!" Mikey's like
"I'm sorry"--BANG--" I hit your cat with
my truck, and I'm just trying to put it
out of it's misery"-- BANG! And the cat
dies. So Mikey's like "Why don't you
come look at the front of the truck."
'Cause the other guy's all fuckin
flipped out about--

WILL
Watching his cat get brained.

Morgan gives Will a look, but Will only smiles.

CHUCKIE
Yeah, so he's like "Check the front of
my truck, I can prove I hit it 'cause
there's probably some blood or
something"--

WILL
--or a tail--

MORGAN
WILL!

CHUCKIE
And so they go around to the front of
his truck...and there's another cat on
the grille.

WILL/MORGAN/BILLY
No! Ugh!

CHUCKIE
Is that unbelievable? He brained an
innocent cat!

BLACKOUT:

The opening credits roll over a series of shots of the city and
the real people who live and work there, going about their daily
lives.

We see a panoramic view of South Boston.

Will sits in his apartment, walls completely bare. A bed, a
small night table and an empty basket adorn the room. A stack
of twenty or so LIBRARY BOOKS sit by his bed. He is flipping
through a book at about a page a second.

Chuckie stands on the porch to Will's house. His Caddilac idles
by the curb. Will comes out and they get in the car.
We travel across crowded public housing and onto downtown.
Finally, we gaze across the river and onto the great cement-
domed buildings that make up the M.I.T. campus.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Dark, Irreverent

Summary In a worn-down South Boston bar, Chuckie Sullivan regales his friends Will Hunting, Billy McBride, and Morgan O'Mally with a story about his cousin Mikey accidentally killing a cat. As Chuckie narrates the mishap, the group reacts with a mix of shock, disgust, and laughter, ultimately leading to shared amusement and camaraderie as they enjoy each other's company.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Unique tone
Character development

Weaknesses

Lack of high-stakes conflict
Limited character growth in this scene

General Critique

The scene does a good job of introducing the main characters and their dynamic, but it could benefit from more specific details that reveal their personalities and backgrounds.
The dialogue is natural and engaging, but it could be sharpened to better reveal the characters' motivations and emotions.
The scene could benefit from a clearer sense of setting and atmosphere. While the bar is described as run-down, there are no sensory details that make it feel real and alive.
The scene could also benefit from a clearer sense of purpose. While the story Chuckie tells is entertaining, it doesn't necessarily advance the plot or reveal anything new about the characters.

General Suggestions

Consider adding more sensory details to the setting to make it feel more real and alive. For example, you could describe the smell of beer and pretzels on the floor, or the sound of the jukebox in the background.
Consider sharpening the dialogue to better reveal the characters' motivations and emotions. For example, you could have Will challenge Chuckie on his storytelling, or have Morgan express more clearly his disgust at the story.
Consider giving the scene a clearer sense of purpose. For example, you could have Chuckie's story reveal something new about the characters, or have it set up a later plot point.
Consider adding more specific details that reveal the characters' personalities and backgrounds. For example, you could have Will quote a poem or make a historical reference, or have Chuckie mention his job or family.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively sets the tone for the story, introduces the main characters, and engages the audience with its dark humor and sharp dialogue.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of using dark humor to explore the lives of young men in a rough neighborhood is executed well, providing a fresh and engaging perspective.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around a humorous yet dark anecdote shared by one of the characters, setting the tone for the rest of the story.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh approach to storytelling and character interactions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined through their dialogue and actions, showcasing their personalities and relationships within the group.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the dynamics between the characters are established, setting the stage for potential growth.

Internal Goal: 8

Will Hunting's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his cool and confident demeanor while engaging in banter with his friends. This reflects his desire to fit in and be accepted by his peers.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to entertain his friends and keep the conversation going. This reflects his ability to engage with others and be the center of attention.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict in the scene is primarily internal, as the characters navigate their relationships and the dark humor of the anecdote.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and beliefs among the characters. The audience is left wondering how the characters will navigate the moral dilemmas presented.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on character dynamics and humor than on high-stakes conflict.

Story Forward: 8

The scene sets the stage for the story to come, introducing the characters and establishing the tone and themes of the narrative.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the storytelling, such as the shocking revelation about the second cat on the grille. The audience is kept on their toes and eager to see what happens next.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the morality of the protagonist's cousin's actions towards the cat. It challenges the characters' values and beliefs about empathy and compassion.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a mix of emotions, from humor to shock, engaging the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and realistic, capturing the essence of the characters and the setting.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, dynamic character interactions, and humorous anecdotes. The banter between the characters keeps the audience entertained and invested in the story.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a good balance of dialogue, action, and description. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and maintains a sense of momentum.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions. The visual elements are well-defined and enhance the overall storytelling.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with a clear introduction, rising action, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.

INT. M.I.T. CLASSROOM -- DAY

The classroom is packed with graduate students and TOM.
PROFESSOR LAMBEAU (52) is at the lectern. The chalkboard behind
him is covered with theorems.

LAMBEAU
Please finish McKinley by next month.
Many of you probably had this as
undergraduates in real analysis. It
won't hurt to brush up. I am also
putting an advanced fourier system on
the main hallway chalkboard--

Everyone groans.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
I'm hoping that one of you might prove
it by the end of the semester. The first
person to do so will not only be in my
good graces, but go on to fame and
fortune by having their accomplishment
recorded and their name printed in the
auspicious "M.I.T. Tech."

Prof. Lambeau holds up a thin publication entitled "M.I.T.
Tech." Everyone laughs.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Former winners include Nobel Laureates,
world renowned astro-physicists, Field's
Medal winners and lowly M.I.T.
professors.

More laughs.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Okay. That is all.

A smattering of applause. Students pack their bags.

CUT TO:

INT. FUNLAND – LATER

The place is a monster indoor funpark. Will, Chuckie, Morgan,
and Billy are in adjoining batting cages. Will has disabled the
pitching machine in his and pitches to Chuckie. The boys have
been drinking. Will throws one to Chuckie, high and tight.
Several empty beer cans sit by the cage.
CHUCKIE
Will!

Another pitch, inside.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
You're gonna get charged!

WILL
You think I'm afraid of you, you big
fuck? You're crowdin' the plate.

Will guns another one, way inside.

CHUCKIE
Stop brushin' me back!

WILL
Stop crowdin the plate!

Chuckie laughs and steps back.

CHUCKIE
Casey's bouncin' at a bar up Harvard. We
should go there sometime.

WILL
What are we gonna do up there?

CHUCKIE
I don't know, we'll fuck up some smart
kids.
(stepping back in)
You'd prob'ly fit right in.

WILL
Fuck you.

Will fires a pitch at Chuckie's head. Chuckie dives to avoid
being hit. He gets up and whips his batting helmet at Will.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Sarcastic, Confrontational

Summary The scene starts in an MIT classroom with Professor Lambeau discussing advanced mathematical theorems and challenging students to prove an advanced Fourier system. Meanwhile, at Funland, Will, Chuckie, Morgan, and Billy are in batting cages where Will taunts and throws pitches at Chuckie, eventually leading to Chuckie throwing his helmet at Will. The scene shifts from a serious and academic tone in the classroom to a more relaxed and playful atmosphere at Funland, turning tense and confrontational during the batting cage scene.

Strengths

Strong character development through dialogue
Effective blend of humor and tension

Weaknesses

Minimal character change
Limited emotional depth

General Critique

The transition between scenes is abrupt and could be smoother. The scene in the bar ends with the group laughing and the next scene starts with a lecture at MIT. It would be helpful to have a more gradual transition to set the scene and provide context for the viewer.
The dialogue in the MIT classroom could be more engaging. The professor's speech is informative, but it doesn't create a strong emotional connection with the audience. It might be more interesting to hear about the personal experiences and motivations of the students, or to explore the challenges they face in their studies.
The scene in the batting cages could benefit from more character development. While the interactions between Will and Chuckie are entertaining, they don't reveal much about the characters' inner lives or their relationships with each other. It would be helpful to see more depth and complexity in their conversations, and to explore the emotions that underlie their actions.

General Suggestions

Consider adding a brief transition scene to bridge the gap between the bar and the MIT classroom. This could be a shot of the group traveling across Boston, or a voiceover of Will reflecting on his experiences. This would help to create a more cohesive narrative and provide context for the viewer.
Experiment with different ways of presenting information in the MIT classroom. Instead of having the professor lecture at the chalkboard, consider having a roundtable discussion or a debate between students. This would create more opportunities for character development and emotional engagement.
Deepen the relationships between the characters in the batting cages. Encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings, and to engage in more meaningful conversations. This would help to create a stronger emotional connection with the audience and make the scene more memorable.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively blends humor with tension, showcasing the characters' personalities and setting up potential conflicts.

Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of contrasting academic life with recreational activities adds depth to the characters and sets the stage for potential conflicts.

Plot: 7

The plot introduces the characters, their dynamics, and hints at potential conflicts to come.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh approach to character dynamics, setting contrasts, and thematic depth. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds a layer of complexity to the familiar coming-of-age narrative, making it stand out.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined through their dialogue and actions, showcasing their personalities and relationships.

Character Changes: 5

There is minimal character change in this scene, mainly showcasing the characters' existing dynamics.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to assert his dominance and independence, as seen through his aggressive behavior towards his friend Chuckie during the baseball game. This reflects his deeper need for control and validation.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to have a good time with his friends and blow off steam, as evidenced by their drinking and playing baseball at the funland. This goal reflects the immediate circumstances of their social gathering and the challenges they face in their personal lives.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict present, mainly in the confrontational dialogue between the characters.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges from both external forces (social expectations, academic pressure) and internal conflicts (personal insecurities, emotional struggles). The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding suspense and complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate, mainly revolving around the characters' relationships and potential conflicts.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by introducing characters, relationships, and potential conflicts.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected shifts in tone and character dynamics, as well as the escalating conflict between the protagonist and his friend. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the situation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between intellectual achievement and casual leisure. The protagonist is torn between the competitive academic environment at M.I.T. and the carefree atmosphere of the funland, highlighting a clash of values and priorities.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene elicits some emotional response through humor and tension.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reveals the characters' relationships and conflicts.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic character interactions, sharp dialogue, and contrasting settings. The tension between the protagonist and his friend creates a sense of unpredictability and emotional depth, keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension and release, creating a sense of rhythm and momentum. The dialogue and action sequences are well-paced, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character cues, and action descriptions. The visual and auditory elements are effectively conveyed through the screenplay format.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between locations, well-defined character interactions, and a cohesive narrative flow. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness.

EXT. SOUTH BOSTON ROOFTOP -- EARLY AFTERNOON

SEAN McGUIRE (52) sits, FORMALLY DRESSED, on the roof of his
apartment building in a beat-up lawn chair. Well-built and
fairly muscular, he stares blankly out over the city.

On his lap rests an open invitation that reads "M.I.T. CLASS OF
'67 REUNION."

While the morning is quiet and Sean sits serenely, there is a
look about his that tells us he has faced hard times. This is a
man who fought his way through life. On his lonely stare we:

CUT TO:
EXT. M.I.T. CAMPUS LAWN -- DAY

A thirty year REUNION PARTY has taken over the lawn. A well
dressed throng mill about underneath a large banner that reads
"WELCOME BACK CLASS OF '72." We find Professor Lambeau standing
with a drink in his hand, surveying the crowd. He is interrupted
by an approaching STUDENT.

STUDENT
Excuse me, Professor Lambeau?

LAMBEAU
Yes.

STUDENT
I'm in your applied theories class.
We're all down at the Math and Science
building.

LAMBEAU
It's Saturday.

STUDENT
I know. We just couldn't wait 'till
Monday to find out.

LAMBEAU
Find out what?

STUDENT
Who proved the theorem.

EXT. TOM FOLEY PARK, S. BOSTON -- AFTERNOON

In the bleachers of the visiting section we find our boys,
drinking and smoking cigarettes. Will pops open a beer. The boys
have been here a while and it shows.

Billy sees something that catches his interest.

BILLY
Who's that? She's got a nice ass.

Their P.O.V. reveals a girl in stretch pants talking to a beefy
looking ITALIAN GUY (BOBBY CHAMPA)

MORGAN
Yah, that is a nice ass.

CHUCKIE
You could put a pool in that backyard.

BILLY
Who's she talking to?

MORGAN
That fuckin' guinea, Will knows him.
WILL
Yah, Bobby Champa. He used to beat the
shit outta' me in Kindergarten.

BILLY
He's a pretty big kid.

WILL
Yah, he's the same size now as he was in
Kindergarten.

MORGAN
Fuck this, let's get something to eat...

CHUCKIE
What Morgan, you're not gonna go talk to
her?

MORGAN
Fuck her.

The boys get up and walk down the bleachers.

WILL
I could go for a Whopper.

MORGAN
(nonchalant)
Let's hit "Kelly's."

CHUCKIE
Morgan, I'm not goin' to "Kelly's Roast
Beef" just cause you like the take-out
girl. It's fifteen minutes out of our
way.

MORGAN
What else we gonna do we can't spare
fifteen minutes?

CHUCKIE
All right Morgan, fine. I'll tell you
why we're not going to "Kelly's." It's
because the take-out bitch is a fuckin'
idiot. I'm sorry you like her but she's
dumb as a post and she has never got our
order right, never once.

MORGAN
She's not stupid.

WILL
She's sharp as a marble.

CHUCKIE
We're not goin'.
(beat)
I don't even like "Kelly's."
CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Serious, Humorous, Sarcastic

Summary The scene is set in South Boston, with three different locations: a rooftop, M.I.T.'s campus, and Tom Foley Park. Sean McGuire, a 52-year-old man, sits alone on the rooftop, deep in thought, dressed formally and holding an invitation to his M.I.T. class reunion. At M.I.T., Professor Lambeau is interrupted by a student who informs him about a proven theorem. In the park, a group of boys drink and smoke, noticing an attractive girl talking to Bobby Champa. They decide to go to Kelly's Roast Beef instead of watching the game. The scene is contemplative and relaxed, with moments of humor and camaraderie, and no major conflicts.

Strengths

Effective character dynamics
Engaging dialogue
Interesting juxtaposition of tones

Weaknesses

Low emotional impact
Potential lack of clarity in character arcs

General Critique

The scene is well-written with a clear sense of setting and character dynamics. The transition from the previous scene is smooth and provides context for the characters' actions and motivations.
The dialogue is natural and believable, capturing the banter and humor of the group of friends. However, there are moments where the dialogue could be tightened up to avoid repetition and over-explanation.
The scene's pacing is well-balanced, allowing for moments of tension and release. The introduction of the new character, Bobby Champa, adds an element of conflict and intrigue, setting up potential future developments.

General Suggestions

Consider cutting down on some of the dialogue, particularly in the back-and-forth between Chuckie and Morgan about Kelly's Roast Beef. While it adds to their characterization, it can be streamlined to avoid repetition.
Consider adding more visual descriptions of the setting and characters to help the reader better imagine the scene. For example, describing the atmosphere of the park, the appearance of the girl and Bobby Champa, and the group's body language.
Consider foreshadowing the conflict with Bobby Champa earlier in the scene, perhaps by having Will mention him earlier or by showing the group's initial reaction to seeing him. This would help build tension and anticipation for the confrontation.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively sets up contrasting tones and introduces potential conflicts, engaging the audience with both serious and humorous elements.

Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of juxtaposing the rooftop reflection with the park banter is intriguing and sets up potential conflicts and character dynamics.

Plot: 7

The plot introduces multiple elements that could lead to interesting developments, such as the invitation to the reunion and the appearance of Bobby Champa.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces unique characters and relationships, offering fresh perspectives on friendship, loyalty, and personal growth. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are distinct and their interactions reveal their personalities effectively, setting up potential conflicts and dynamics.

Character Changes: 6

There are subtle hints of character dynamics and potential changes, but they are not fully developed in this scene.

Internal Goal: 8

Sean McGuire's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his past and make a decision about attending the reunion. This reflects his deeper need for closure and connection with his past.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to decide whether to attend the reunion and face his past. This reflects the immediate challenge of confronting his history and reconnecting with old acquaintances.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There are hints of potential conflicts, especially with the introduction of Bobby Champa, adding tension to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, challenging the characters' decisions and motivations.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, but the introduction of Bobby Champa hints at potential higher stakes in the future.

Story Forward: 7

The scene introduces new elements and potential conflicts, moving the story forward effectively.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' decisions and interactions, keeping the audience on their toes.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the protagonist's internal struggle with his past and the external pressure to attend the reunion. It challenges his beliefs about forgiveness, redemption, and personal growth.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene evokes some emotions, especially through Sean McGuire's reflective mood, but could have a stronger emotional impact.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reveals character dynamics effectively, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic character interactions, witty dialogue, and emotional depth that draws the audience into the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue-driven moments with descriptive passages, creating a sense of rhythm and tension.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, action lines, and character dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and well-defined character interactions.

INT. M.I.T. HALLWAY -- LATER

Lambeau, still in his reunion formal-wear, strides down the
hallway, carrying some papers. A group of students have gathered
by the chalkboard. They part like the red sea as he approaches
the board. Using the papers in hand, he checks the proof.
Satisfied, he turns to the class.

LAMBEAU
This is correct? Who did this?

Dead silence. Lambeau turns to an INDIAN STUDENT.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Nemesh?

Nemesh shakes his head in awe.

NEMESH
No way.

Lambeau erases the proof and starts putting up a new one.

LAMBEAU
Well, whoever You are, I'm sure you'll
find this one challenging enough to
merit coming forward with your identity.
That is, if you can do it.

INT. CHUCKIE'S CAR, DRIVING IN SOUTH BOSTON -- CONTINUOUS

The street is crowded as our boys drive down Broadway. They move
slowly through heavy traffic, windows down. Chuckie sorts
through a large "KELLY'S ROAST BEEF" BAG as he drives.

MORGAN
Double Burger.

Will holds the wheel for Chuckie as he looks through the bag.

MORGAN (cont'd)
(same tone)
Double Burger.

Chuckie gets out fries for himself, hands Will his fries.

MORGAN (cont'd)
I, I had a Kelly's Double Burger.

CHUCKIE
Would you shut the fuck up! I know what
you ordered, I was there!
MORGAN
So why don't you give me my sandwhich?

CHUCKIE
What do you mean "your sandwhich?" I
bought it.

MORGAN
(sarcastic)
Yah, all right...

CHUCKIE
How much money you got?

MORGAN
I told you, I just got change.

CHUCKIE
Well give me your fuckin' change and
we'll put your fuckin' sandwhich on lay-
away.

MORGAN
Why you gotta be an asshole Chuckie?

CHUCKIE
I think you should establish a good line
of credit.

Laughter, Chuckie goes back searching through the bag.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
Oh motherfucker...

WILL
She didn't do it again did she?

CHUCKIE
Jesus Christ. Not even close.

MORGAN
Did she get my Double Burger?

CHUCKIE
NO SHE DIDN'T GET YOUR DOUBLE BURGER!!
IT'S ALL FUCKIN' FLYIN' FISH FILET!!

Chuckie whips a FISH SANDWHICH back to Morgan, then to Billy.

WILL
Jesus, that's really bad, did anyone
even order a Flyin' Fish?

CHUCKIE
No, and we got four of 'em.
BILLY
You gotta' be kiddin' me. Why do we even
go to her?

CHUCKIE
Cause fuckin' Morgan's got a crush on
her, we always go there and when we get
to the window he never says a fuckin'
word to her, he never even gets out of
the car, and she never gets our order
right cause she's the goddamn MISSING
LINK!

WILL
Well, she out did herself today...

MORGAN
I don't got a crush on her.

Push in on Will who sees something O.S.

Will's P.O.V. reveals BOBBY CHAMPA and his friends walking down
the street. One of them casually lobs a bottle into a wire
garbage can. It SHATTERS and some of the glass hits a FEMALE
PASSERBY who, although unhurt, is upset.

CHUCKIE
What do we got?

WILL
I don't know yet.

Will's P.O.V.: The woman says something to Bobby. He says
something back. By the look on her face, it was something
unpleasant.

MORGAN
Come on, Will...

CHUCKIE
Shut up.

MORGAN
No, why didn't you fight him at the park
if you wanted to? I'm not goin' now, I'm
eatin' my snack.

WILL
(smiles)
So don't go.

Will is out of the door, jogging toward Bobby Champa. Billy gets
out, following Will with a look of casual indifference.

CHUCKIE
Morgan, Let's go.
MORGAN
I'm serious Chuckie, I ain't goin'.

Leaving the car, Chuckie opens his door to follow.

CHUCKIE
(spins in his seat)
You're goin'. And if you're not out
there in two fuckin' seconds, when I'm
done with them you're next!

And with that, Chuckie is out the door.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Sarcastic, Confrontational, Humorous

Summary In this scene, two conflicts arise: first, at MIT, Lambeau challenges an unknown student who solved a proof, causing tension among the students. Second, Chuckie and his friends bicker about a mistaken food order and poor service while driving in South Boston. The scene ends with Will and Billy confronting Bobby Champa on the street, leaving the previous conflicts unresolved. The tone is tense and irritated due to the conflicts but also humorous due to the banter between Chuckie and his friends.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Realistic character interactions
Humorous moments

Weaknesses

Some repetitive banter
Slightly predictable confrontation

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from the MIT hallway to Chuckie's car, which can be jarring for the reader. Consider adding a scene transition to smooth out the pacing.
The dialogue in the car scene, while humorous, doesn't seem to serve much purpose in terms of advancing the plot or revealing character. Consider tightening up this section or using it to further develop the characters' relationships.
The introduction of Bobby Champa and the confrontation that follows feels sudden and lacks context. It might be helpful to provide more background on Bobby Champa and the history between him and Will's group to make the confrontation more impactful.

General Suggestions

Consider adding a scene transition to smooth out the pacing between the MIT hallway and Chuckie's car.
Evaluate the dialogue in the car scene to ensure it's contributing to the plot or character development. If not, consider tightening it up or removing it.
Provide more context and background on Bobby Champa and the history between him and Will's group to make the confrontation more impactful.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively combines drama and comedy, showcasing the dynamics between the characters and building up to a confrontation, keeping the audience engaged.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of friends hanging out in South Boston, dealing with everyday challenges and conflicts, is well-executed with humor and tension.

Plot: 9

The plot revolves around the escalating tension between the characters, leading to a confrontation with Bobby Champa and his friends, adding depth and conflict to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the themes of intelligence and loyalty, with authentic character interactions and a unique setting.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, each with their unique personalities and dynamics, contributing to the humor and conflict in the scene.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo subtle changes in their dynamics and relationships, especially in the face of conflict, adding depth to their personalities.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his authority and intelligence in the academic setting, as seen in Lambeau's interaction with the students in the MIT Hallway.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to confront Bobby Champa and his friends in South Boston, showcasing a sense of loyalty and protection towards his friends.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters, especially with Bobby Champa and his friends, adds tension and drama to the scene, keeping the audience engaged.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicts arising between the characters in both locations, adding depth to the narrative.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are raised with the confrontation between the characters, adding intensity and importance to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing conflict and tension, setting the stage for further developments in the plot.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected confrontation between the characters in South Boston and the humorous banter between them.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the themes of intelligence and loyalty. Lambeau's intellectual superiority clashes with the loyalty and camaraderie displayed by the characters in South Boston.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions from amusement to tension, creating a dynamic atmosphere for the audience.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and realistic, capturing the essence of the characters and driving the scene forward with humor and tension.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the dynamic character interactions, humor, and escalating tension between the characters.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and tension that keeps the audience engaged.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, transitioning smoothly between the two locations and maintaining a cohesive narrative flow.

EXT. SIDEWALK --CONTINUOUS

Will comes jogging up towards BOBBY CHAMPA, calling out from
across the street,

WILL
(smiling, good naturedly)
Hey, Bobby Champa! I went to
Kindergarten with you right? Sister
Margaret's class...

Bobby is bewildered by this strange interruption and unsure of
Will's intentions. Just when it looks as though Bobby might
remember him, Will DRILLS HIM with a sucker-punch which begins
the

FIGHT SEQUENCE: 40 FRAMES OVER M. GAYE'S "LET'S GET IT ON."

Will's momentum and respectable strength serve to knock the
hapless Champa out cold.

As soon as Will hits Bobby, his friends CONVERGE ON WILL. Billy
JUMPS IN and wrestles one guy to the ground. The two exchange
messy punches on the sidewalk.

Will is in trouble, back pedaling, dodging punches, trying to
avoid being overrun.

When Will goes for one guy, another has an open shot and he
HAMMERS WILL with a right hand to the head.

Will is staggered and bleary, as a second guy winds up for a
shot he is BLIND SIDED by Chuckie who hits the kid like he was a
tackling sled, lifting him off the ground.

Chuckie turns to see Will still outnumbered. It's all Will can
do to stay standing as Morgan DROP KICKS one of Champa's boys
from the hood of a car.

Contrary to what we might think, Morgan is actually quite a
fighter. He peppers the kid with a flurry of blows.
The fight is messy, ugly and chaotic. Most punches are thrown
wildly and miss, heads are banged against concrete, someone
throws a bottle.

In the end, it's our guys who are left standing, while Bobby's
friends stagger off. Chuckie and Morgan turn to see Will,
standing over the unconscious Bobby Champa, still POUNDING him.

ANGLE ON WILL: SAVAGE, UGLY, VICIOUS, AND VIOLENT

Whatever demons must be raging inside Will, he is taking them
out on Bobby Champa. He pummels the helpless, unconscious
Champa, fury in his eyes. Chuckie and Billy pull Will away.

The POLICE finally arrive on the scene and having only witnessed
Will's vicious attack on Champa, they grab him.

Genres: Drama, Action
Tone: Intense, Violent, Chaotic

Summary In this intense and violent scene, Will reunites with Bobby Champa from their kindergarten days, only to sucker-punch him and start a chaotic fight. Aided by his friends, Billy, Chuckie, and Morgan, Will successfully fends off Bobby's friends. However, Will's anger spirals out of control, leading him to continue attacking Bobby after he's unconscious. The police arrive, witnessing Will's vicious assault, and arrest him. The scene takes place on the sidewalk, reflecting a tone that is savage, ugly, and chaotic.

Strengths

Intense action
Emotional depth
Character development

Weaknesses

Minimal dialogue
Chaotic pacing

General Critique

The scene is well-written with clear action and dialogue, but it could benefit from more development of the characters and their motivations.
While the fight sequence is well-described, it feels a bit disconnected from the rest of the story. It might be helpful to provide more context for why Will is so angry and why he chooses to attack Bobby Champa.
Additionally, the characters' reactions to the fight could be more nuanced. For example, how does Chuckie feel about intervening and saving Will? How does Will feel about being saved? These moments of emotional connection can help deepen the audience's understanding of the characters and their relationships.

General Suggestions

Consider adding a few lines of dialogue or inner thoughts to help explain why Will is so angry and why he chooses to attack Bobby Champa.
Explore the characters' reactions to the fight in more detail, highlighting their emotions and thoughts in the moment.
Consider adding a beat or two after the fight to allow the characters to process what just happened and react accordingly. This can help create a more realistic and engaging scene.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, filled with intense action and emotional turmoil, keeping the audience engaged throughout.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a street fight escalating quickly and showcasing the characters' raw emotions is well executed.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly with the introduction of conflict and the characters' reactions to the situation.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to the theme of violence, focusing on the internal struggles of the characters rather than glorifying the physical confrontation. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters' personalities shine through in their actions and reactions during the fight, adding depth to their development.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo a transformation during the fight, revealing new aspects of their personalities and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal in this scene is to release his pent-up anger and frustration through violence. This reflects his deeper need for control and power, as well as his fear of being vulnerable or weak.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal in this scene is to assert dominance and protect his reputation among his peers. This reflects the immediate challenge of defending himself in a physical confrontation.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

The conflict in the scene is intense and physical, driving the action forward and heightening the stakes.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Will facing multiple adversaries and struggling to overcome the physical and emotional challenges presented.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are high during the fight, with the characters' relationships and futures on the line.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing a major conflict and showcasing the characters' reactions to it.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because the outcome of the fight is uncertain, keeping the audience on edge and unsure of how the conflict will be resolved.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the use of violence as a means of control and the consequences of such actions. It challenges Will's beliefs about power and masculinity, as well as the societal norms around conflict resolution.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the characters and the audience, creating a powerful impact.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is minimal but impactful, conveying the characters' emotions and intentions effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because it grabs the audience's attention from the start and maintains a high level of tension and suspense throughout.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is fast-paced and intense, with quick cuts between action sequences and moments of tension, keeping the audience engaged and on the edge of their seats.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and concise, with effective use of action lines and dialogue to convey the intensity of the fight sequence.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, building tension through escalating conflict and resolving with a dramatic climax.

EXT. SIDEWALK (FULL SPEED) -- CONTINUOUS

A crowd of onlookers have gathered. Chuckie addresses them.

CHUCKIE
Hey, thanks for comin' out.

WILL
Yeah, you're all invited over to
Morgan's house for a complementary fish
sandwhich.

The Police slam Will into the hood of a car.

WILL (cont'd)
(to Police)
Hey, I know it's not a French cruller,
but it's free.

The cop holding Will SLAMS his [Will's] face into the hood,
another cop uses a baton to press Will's face into the car. The
look of rage returns to Will's eye.

WILL (cont'd)
Get the fuck off me!

Will resists. Another cop comes over. Will KICKS HIM IN THE
KNEE, dropping the cop. Momentarily freed, Will engages in a
fracas with three cops. More converge on Will, who -- though he
struggles -- takes a beating.

CUT TO:

EXT. SEAN'S ROOF -- NIGHT

Sean sits, exactly as we first saw him, except his tie is now
loose and an empty bottle of BUSHMILLS is at his side. He
stares out over the City. A MATRONLY LANDLADY comes out of a
doorway on the roof.
LANDLADY
Sean?

Sean doesn't answer.

LANDLADY (cont'd)
Sean? You okay?

SEAN
Yeah.

A beat.

LANDLADY
It's getting cold.

After a moment, she retreats back down the stairs. Sean doesn't
move.

DISSOLVE:

EXT. CHARLES RIVER, ESTABLISHING SHOT -- MORNING

The morning sun reflects brilliantly off the river.

CUT TO:

EXT. COURTHOUSE -- NEXT MORNING

Will emerges from the courthouse. Chuckie is waiting for him in
the Cadillac with two cups of DUNKIN' DOUGHNUTS coffee. He hands
one of them to Will. This feels routine.

CHUCKIE
When's the arraignment?

WILL
Next week.

Chuckie pulls away.

CUT TO:

EXT. M.I.T. CAMPUS, ESTABLISHING SHOT -- MORNING

Students walk to class, carrying bags. More than any other,
students seem to be heading into one PARTICULAR CLASSROOM.

INT. M.I.T. CLASSROOM -- MORNING

The classroom is even more crowded than last we saw it. Tom
takes notes as Lambeau plays along with the excited environment
with mock pomposity and good humor.
LAMBEAU
Is it my imagination, or has my class
grown considerably?

Laughter.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
I look around and see young people who
are my students, young people who are
not my students as well as some of my
colleagues. And by no stretch of my
imagination do I think you've all come
to hear me lecture.

More laughter.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
But rather to ascertain the identity of
who our esteemed "The Tech" has come to
call "The Mystery Math Magician."

He holds up the M.I.T. Tech featuring a silhouetted figure,
emblazoned with a large, white question mark. The headline reads
"Mystery Math Magician strikes again."

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Whoever you are, you've solved four of
the most difficult theorems I've ever
given a class. So without further ado,
come forward silent rogue, and receive
thy prize.

The class waits in breathless anticipation. A STUDENT shifts his
weight in his chair, making a noise.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint my
spectators, but it appears there will be
no unmasking here today. I'm going to
have to ask those of you not enrolled in
the class to make your escape now or,
for the next three hours be subjected to
the mundities of eigenvectors.

People start to gather their things and go. Lambeau picks up a
piece of chalk and starts writing on the board.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
However, my colleagues and I have
conferred. There is a problem on the
board, right now, that took us two years
to prove. So let this be said; the
gauntlet has been thrown down. But the
faculty have answered the challenge and
answered with vigor.

CUT TO:
19 OMITTED

Genres: Drama, Crime, Thriller
Tone: Intense, Suspenseful, Serious, Dark

Summary The scene opens with a confrontation between Will and the police following his arrest, creating an intense and tense atmosphere. Simultaneously, Sean, emotionally detached, has a brief exchange with his landlady. The setting shifts to various outdoor locations around the city, including the Charles River and a courthouse. The scene concludes with the anticipation building in a crowded M.I.T. classroom as students and faculty await the Mystery Math Magician, who is met with challenges and a difficult math problem.

Strengths

Intense conflict
Sharp dialogue
Complex characters

Weaknesses

Potential for excessive violence
Lack of resolution for some storylines

General Critique

The scene starts abruptly without providing any context or establishing the setting.
The dialogue is unnatural and forced, especially Will's jokes and Chuckie's announcement to the crowd.
The action is described in a very chaotic and confusing manner, making it difficult to visualize the fight sequence.
The scene lacks any emotional depth or character development.
The transition to the next scene is abrupt and doesn't provide a smooth flow of events.

General Suggestions

Start the scene with a brief establishing shot or description to orient the reader to the setting and the characters' situation.
Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and in character.
Break down the fight sequence into smaller, more manageable chunks, and use clear and concise language to describe the actions.
Add some emotional depth to the scene by exploring the characters' motivations and reactions.
Consider using a transition shot or a short dialogue exchange to bridge the gap between the fight scene and the next scene.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively combines multiple storylines and characters, creating a tense and dramatic atmosphere. The dialogue is engaging, and the conflict is high, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of challenging mathematical theorems, a violent confrontation, and a character's introspection adds depth and complexity to the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly with Will's arrest, the mystery of the 'Mystery Math Magician,' and Sean's contemplation, setting up future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases original situations such as the police altercation, the academic competitiveness, and the mystery math magician subplot. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and add depth to the narrative.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their actions drive the plot forward. Will's defiance, Chuckie's loyalty, and Sean's introspection add layers to the scene.

Character Changes: 7

Will undergoes a significant change as he faces the consequences of his actions, leading to his arrest.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal in this scene is to assert his defiance and independence in the face of authority and adversity. This reflects his deeper need for autonomy and self-respect.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal in this scene is to deal with the aftermath of his altercation with the police and navigate the legal consequences. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the legal system and society.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

The scene is filled with physical and emotional conflict, from Will's confrontation with the police to the mystery surrounding the 'Mystery Math Magician.'

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Will facing challenges from the police, the legal system, and the academic competitiveness at MIT, creating obstacles that are difficult to overcome and keeping the audience invested in the outcome.

High Stakes: 10

The stakes are high with Will's arrest, the mystery of the 'Mystery Math Magician,' and Sean's contemplation of his life.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by introducing new conflicts, advancing character arcs, and setting up future events.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' actions and the evolving conflicts that keep the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between individual freedom and societal norms. Will's resistance to authority and the academic competitiveness at MIT highlight this conflict, challenging his beliefs and values.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes tension, suspense, and introspection, engaging the audience emotionally.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and reveals the characters' motivations and conflicts effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of intense action, emotional depth, and intriguing subplots that keep the audience invested in the characters and their journey.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of intense action sequences and quieter moments that build tension and emotional depth, keeping the audience engaged throughout.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is clear and follows the expected format for its genre, making it easy to visualize and understand the action and dialogue.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between different locations and events. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.

INT. M.I.T. HALLWAY -- NIGHT

Lambeau comes out of his office with Tom and locks the door. As
he turns to walk down the hallway, he stops. A faint TICKING
SOUND can be heard. He turns and walks down the hall.

Lambeau and Tom come around a corner. His P.O.V. reveals a
figure in silhouette blazing through the proof on the
chalkboard. There is a mop and a bucket beside him. As Lambeau
draws closer, reveal that the figure is Will, in his janitor's
uniform. There is a look of intense concentration in his eyes.

LAMBEAU
Excuse me!

Will looks up, immediately starts to shuffle off.

WILL
Oh, I'm sorry.

LAMBEAU
What're you doing?

WILL
(walking away)
I'm sorry.

Lambeau follows Will down the hall.

LAMBEAU
What's your name?
(beat)
Don't you walk away from me. This is
people's work, you can't graffiti here.

WILL
Hey fuck you.

LAMBEAU
(flustered)
Well... I'll be speaking to your
supervisor.

Will walks out. Lambeau goes to "fix" the proof, scanning the
blackboard for whatever damage Will caused. He stops, scans the
board again. Amazement registers on his face.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
My God.

Down the hall, we hear the DOOR CLOSE. He turns to look for
Will, who is gone.

CUT TO:
EXT. BOW AND ARROW PUB, CAMBRIDGE -- THAT NIGHT

A crowded Harvard Bar. Will and our gang walk by a line of
several Harvard students, waiting to be carded.

MORGAN
What happened?
(beat)
You got fired, huh?

WILL
Yeah, Morgan. I got fired.

MORGAN
(starts laughing)
How fuckin' retarded do you have to be
to get shit-canned from that job? How
hard is it to push a fuckin' broom?

CHUCKIE
You got fired from pushing a broom, you
little bitch.

MORGAN
Yah, that was different. Management was
restructurin'--

BILLY
--Yah, restructurin' the amount of
retards they had workin' for them.

MORGAN
Fuck you, you fat fuck.

BILLY
Least I work for a livin'.
(to Will)
Why'd you get fired?

WILL
Management was restructurin'.

Laughter.

CHUCKIE
My uncle can probably get you on my demo
team.

MORGAN
What the fuck? I just asked you for a
job yesterday!

CHUCKIE
I told you "no" yesterday!

After two students flash their ID's to the doorman (CASEY) our
boys file past him.
ALL
(one after another)
What's up Case.

With an imperceptible nod, Casey waves our boys through. A fifth
kid, a HARVARD STUDENT, tries to follow. He is stopped by
Casey's massive, outstretched arm:

CASEY
ID?

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Intense, Humorous, Confrontational

Summary Lambeau, a professor at MIT, and his student Tom, come across a ticking sound in a hallway at MIT, leading them to a janitor, Will, who is intensely solving a complex math problem. After a brief, tense exchange, Will walks away, leaving Lambeau to discover Will's impressive achievement of solving a nearly impossible proof. Later, Will is mocked by his friends at a bar for getting fired from his janitor job. The scene highlights the conflicts between Lambeau and Will, as well as between Will and his friends, and ends with Will looking dejected as his friends laugh at him.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Character development
Tension building

Weaknesses

Slight predictability in Will's hidden talent reveal

General Critique

The scene transition is abrupt and could be smoother. It might be helpful to provide a brief transition to give context and set the stage for the new scene.
The dialogue in the bar scene is well-written and captures the camaraderie and banter between the friends. However, the scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to help the reader better imagine the setting and the characters' interactions.
The introduction of Will's janitor job in this scene feels sudden and could be better integrated into the overall narrative. It might be helpful to provide more context and build-up to this development in previous scenes.

General Suggestions

Consider adding a brief transition to smooth the scene change, such as a line or two about Will's thoughts or feelings after his release from jail.
Add more visual descriptions to the bar scene, such as the layout of the bar, the expressions of the characters, and the atmosphere of the setting. This will help the reader better visualize the scene and engage with the characters.
Introduce Will's janitor job earlier in the script to provide more context and build-up to this development. This could include scenes showing Will's struggles with his job, his interactions with his supervisor, or his thoughts about his future prospects.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively blends drama and comedy, creating tension and humor simultaneously. Will's revelation as a math genius adds depth to his character and sets up future conflicts.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Will being a janitor with hidden mathematical talent adds intrigue and sets up a compelling character arc. The scene introduces the idea of unexpected genius in an unconventional setting.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Will's mathematical abilities are revealed, leading to potential conflicts with Professor Lambeau. The scene sets up future developments and character dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the theme of intelligence and social status, with authentic dialogue and character interactions.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Will and Professor Lambeau, are well-developed and engaging. Their interaction adds depth to the scene and sets up future conflicts. The dialogue is sharp and reveals character traits effectively.

Character Changes: 8

Will undergoes a significant change as his hidden talent is revealed, challenging his self-perception and setting up a transformative character arc. Professor Lambeau also faces a shift in his perception of Will.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to prove his intelligence and worth despite his janitorial job. This reflects his deeper desire for recognition and respect.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to avoid confrontation and maintain his job. This reflects the immediate challenge of being caught by his supervisor.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

The conflict between Will and Professor Lambeau, as well as the societal expectations placed on Will, creates tension and sets up future confrontations. The scene is dynamic and engaging.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges from both his supervisor and his friends, adding complexity to the narrative.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are raised as Will's hidden talent is revealed, potentially leading to conflicts with Professor Lambeau and societal expectations. The scene sets up high stakes for the characters' future interactions.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key character dynamics, conflicts, and themes. It sets up future plot developments and character arcs, driving the narrative forward.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected confrontation between the protagonist and his supervisor, adding tension to the narrative.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between societal expectations based on job roles and the individual's potential regardless of their position. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about social status and intelligence.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions, from amusement to tension, keeping the audience engaged. Will's defiance and intelligence add emotional depth to the scene.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, confrontational, and humorous, capturing the essence of the characters. It drives the scene forward and reveals important information about the characters' personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue and character interactions, drawing the audience into the protagonist's dilemma.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing dialogue and action, maintaining the audience's interest.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions and character interactions.

INT. BOW AND ARROW -- CONTINUOUS

Chuckie is collecting money from the guys to buy a pitcher, all
but Morgan cough up some crumpled dollars.

CHUCKIE
So, this is a Harvard bar, huh? I
thought there'd be equations and shit on
the wall.

INT. BACK SECTION, BOW AND ARROW -- MOMENTS LATER

Chuckie returns to a table where Will, Morgan and Billy have
made themselves comfortable. He [Chuckie] spots two ATTRACTIVE
YOUNG HARVARD WOMEN sitting together at the end of the bar.
Chuckie struts his way toward the women and pulls up a chair. He
flashes a smile and tries to submerge his thick Boston accent.

CHUCKIE
Hey, how's it goin'?

LYDIA
Fine.

SKYLAR
Okay.

CHUCKIE
So, you ladies ah, go to school here?

LYDIA
Yes.

CHUCKIE
Yeah, cause I think I had a class with
you.

At this point, several interested parties materialize. Morgan
Billy and Will try, as inconspicuously as possible, to situate
themselves within listening distance. A rather large student in
a HARVARD LACROSSE sweatshirt, CLARK (22) notices Chuckie. He
[Clark] walks over to Skylar and Lydia, nobly hovering over them
as protector. This gets Will, Morgan, and Billy's attention.
SKYLAR
What class?

CHUCKIE
Ah, history I think.

SKYLAR
Oh...

CHUCKIE
Yah, it's not a bad school...

At this point, Clark can't resist and steps in.

CLARK
What class did you say that was?

CHUCKIE
History.

CLARK
How'd you like that course?

CHUCKIE
Good, it was all right.

CLARK
History? Just "history?" It must have
been a survey course then.

Chuckie nods. Clark notices Chuckie's clothes. Will and Billy
exchange a look and move subtly closer.

CLARK (cont'd)
Pretty broad. "History of the World?"

CHUCKIE
Hey, come on pal we're in classes all
day. That's one thing about Harvard
never seizes to amaze me, everybody's
talkin' about school all the time.

CLARK
Hey, I'm the last guy to want to talk
about school at the bar. But as long as
you're here I want to "seize" the
opportunity to ask you a question.

Billy shifts his beer into his left hand. Will and Morgan see
this. Morgan rolls his eyes as if to say "not again..."

CLARK (cont'd)
Oh, I'm sure you covered it in your
history class.

Clark looks to see if the girls are impressed. They are not.
When Clark looks back to Chuckie, Skylar turns to Lydia and
rolls her [own] eyes. They laugh. Will sees this and smiles.
CHUCKIE
To tell you the truth, I wasn't there
much. The class was rather elementary.

CLARK
Elementary? Oh, I don't doubt that it
was. I remember the class, it was just
between recess and lunch.

Will and Billy come forward, stand behind Chuckie.

CHUCKIE
All right, are we gonna have a problem?

CLARK
There's no problem. I was just hoping
you could give me some insight into the
evolution of the market economy in the
early colonies. My contention is that
prior to the Revolutionary War the
economic modalities especially of the
southern colonies could most aptly be
characterized as agrarian pre-
capitalist and...

Will, who at this point has migrated to Chuckie's side and is
completely fed-up, includes himself in the conversation.

WILL
Of course that's your contention. You're
a first year grad student. You just
finished some Marxian historian, Pete
Garrison prob'ly, and so naturally
that's what you believe until next month
when you get to James Lemon and get
convinced that Virginia and Pennsylvania
were strongly entrepreneurial and
capitalist back in 1740. That'll last
until sometime in your second year, then
you'll be in here regurgitating Gordon
Wood about the Pre-revolutionary utopia
and the capital-forming effects of
military mobilization.

CLARK
(taken aback)
Well, as a matter of fact, I won't,
because Wood drastically underestimates
the impact of--
WILL
--"Wood drastically underestimates the
impact of social distinctions predicated
upon wealth, especially inheriated
wealth..." You got that from "Work in
Essex County," Page 421, right? Do you
have any thoughts of your own on the
subject or were you just gonna plagerize
the whole book for me?

Clark is stunned.

WILL(cont'd)
Look, don't try to pass yourself off as
some kind of an intellect at the expense
of my friend just to impress these
girls.

Clark is lost now, searching for a graceful exit, any exit.

WILL (cont'd)
The sad thing is, in about 50 years you
might start doin' some thinkin' on your
own and by then you'll realize there are
only two certainties in life.

CLARK
Yeah? What're those?

WILL
One, don't do that. Two-- you dropped a
hundred and fifty grand on an education
you coulda' picked up for a dollar fifty
in late charges at the Public Library.

Will catches Skylar's eye.

CLARK
But I will have a degree, and you'll be
serving my kids fries at a drive through
on our way to a skiing trip.

WILL(smiles)
Maybe. But at least I won't be a prick.
(beat)
And if you got a problem with that, I
guess we can step outside and deal with
it that way.

While Will is substantially smaller than Clark, he [Clark]
decides not to take Will up on his [Will's] offer.

WILL (cont'd)
If you change your mind, I'll be over by
the bar.

He turns and walks away. Chuckie follows, throwing Clark a look.
Morgan turns to a nearby girl.
MORGAN
My boy's wicked smart.

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Sarcastic, Confrontational, Intellectual

Summary Chuckie tries to flirt with two young women at the Bow and Arrow bar, but is interrupted by a know-it-all Harvard lacrosse player named Clark. Will steps in to defend Chuckie, leading to a tense argument about historical perspectives. Ultimately, Will humiliates Clark, who leaves the bar in defeat. The scene is visually focused on the argument, with a lighthearted and humorous tone otherwise.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Character development
Engaging conflict

Weaknesses

Slightly predictable outcome

General Critique

The dialogue is too long and exposition-heavy. The characters spend a lot of time talking about history and economics, which is not very engaging for the reader.
The characters are not very well-developed. The reader does not get a clear sense of their motivations or goals.
The scene lacks conflict. There is no real tension between the characters, and the reader is not invested in the outcome of the scene.
The ending of the scene is abrupt and unsatisfying. The reader is left wondering what happens next.

General Suggestions

Cut down on the dialogue and focus on the action and the characters' interactions.
Develop the characters more by giving them clear motivations and goals.
Add conflict to the scene by creating obstacles for the characters or by having them disagree with each other.
Give the scene a more satisfying ending by resolving the conflict and providing a sense of closure.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, witty, and showcases the intelligence and defiance of the characters, making it highly entertaining.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of challenging elitism and showcasing intelligence in a bar setting is well-executed and adds depth to the characters.

Plot: 9

The plot advances as tensions rise between Chuckie, Will, and the Harvard student, leading to a confrontation that reveals the characters' personalities.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the classic 'intellectual showdown' trope, with a focus on authenticity and practical wisdom. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 10

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and motivations that drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Will's defiance and intelligence are showcased, while Chuckie's loyalty and quick thinking are highlighted in the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his intelligence and defend his friend against a condescending Harvard student. This reflects his desire to prove himself and stand up for his beliefs.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to engage in a conversation with the attractive Harvard women and make a good impression. This reflects his immediate desire for social acceptance and validation.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Chuckie, Will, and the Harvard student escalates as tensions rise, leading to a confrontational and engaging scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the Harvard student challenging the protagonist's beliefs and knowledge. The audience is unsure of the outcome, adding tension and suspense.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are high in terms of pride and intellect, as the characters engage in a battle of wits and confrontational exchange.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing more about the characters' personalities and motivations, setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turn of events in the intellectual debate between the protagonist and the Harvard student. The outcome is uncertain and keeps the audience on edge.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between intellectual arrogance and genuine knowledge. The Harvard student represents arrogance, while the protagonist values practical wisdom and authenticity.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from amusement to defiance, as the characters engage in a battle of wits.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the intelligence and defiance of the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, dynamic character interactions, and the buildup of tension between the protagonist and the Harvard student.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a gradual buildup of tension and conflict leading to a satisfying resolution. The rhythm of the dialogue enhances the effectiveness of the scene.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is formatted correctly and enhances the overall flow of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure, with a buildup of tension and conflict leading to a resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the dialogue contribute to its effectiveness.

INT. BOW AND ARROW, AT THE BAR --LATER

Will sits with Morgan at the bar watching with some amusement as
Chuckie and Billy play bar basketball game where the players
shoot miniature balls at a small basket. In the B.G.
Occasionally we hear Chuckie shouting "Larry!" When he scores.
Skylar emerges from the crowd and approaches Will.

SKYLAR
You suck.

WILL
What?

SKYLAR
I've been sitting over there for forty-
five minutes waiting for you to come
talk to me. But I'm just tired now and I
have to go home and I wasn't going to
keep sitting there waiting for you.

WILL
I'm Will.

SKYLAR
Skylar. And by the way. That guy over
there is a real dick and I just wanted
you to know he didn't come with us.

WILL
I kind of got that impression.

SKYLAR
Well, look, I have to go. Gotta' get up
early and waste some more money on my
overpriced education.

WILL
I didn't mean you. Listen, maybe...

SKYLAR
Here's my number.

Skylar produces a folded piece of paper and offers it to Will.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
Maybe we could go out for coffee
sometime?

WILL
Great, or maybe we could go somewhere
and just eat a bunch of caramels.
SKYLAR
What?

WILL
When you think about it, it's just as
arbitrary as drinking coffee.

SKYLAR
(laughs)
Okay, sounds good.

She turns.

WILL
Five minutes.

SKYLAR
What?

WILL
I was trying to be smooth.
(indicates clock)
But at twelve-fifteen I was gonna come
over there and talk to you.

SKYLAR
See, it's my life story. Five more
minutes and I would have got to hear
your best pick-up line.

WILL
The caramel thing is my pick-up line.

A beat.

SKYLAR
Glad I came over.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Romance, Comedy
Tone: Light-hearted, Flirtatious, Sarcastic

Summary Will and Morgan are at a bar where Chuckie and Billy are playing a basketball game. Skylar, a confident and flirtatious woman, approaches Will after waiting for him to come talk to her. After a playful exchange, they learn more about each other and Skylar gives Will her number. They make plans to go out for coffee or eat caramels together, ending the scene on a high note.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Engaging banter
Character development

Weaknesses

Minimal conflict
Limited plot progression

General Critique

The scene should be trimmed down. The dialogue is repetitive and doesn't move the story forward.
The protagonist's motivations are not clear. He doesn't seem to have any reason to do what he does.
The dialogue is unnatural and doesn't sound like the way people talk.

General Suggestions

Remove some of the repetitive dialogue.
Make the protagonist's motivations more clear.
Edit the dialogue to make it sound more natural.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, humorous, and sets up a potential romantic subplot between Will and Skylar. The dialogue is sharp and entertaining, adding depth to the characters.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a chance encounter leading to a flirtatious conversation is well-executed. The scene introduces a romantic interest for Will and showcases his charming yet quirky personality.

Plot: 8

While the scene doesn't advance the main plot significantly, it adds depth to Will's character and sets up a potential romantic subplot. The interaction between Will and Skylar adds a layer of complexity to the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh approach to a classic romantic encounter, with quirky dialogue and unconventional flirting techniques. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their personalities shine through in the dialogue. Will's wit and Skylar's assertiveness make for an interesting dynamic.

Character Changes: 5

Will shows a willingness to step out of his comfort zone and engage with Skylar, hinting at potential growth in his personal life. Skylar's assertiveness also hints at her confidence and independence.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to connect with Skylar and make a good impression on her. This reflects his desire for companionship and possibly a romantic relationship.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to engage in conversation with Skylar and potentially ask her out. This reflects his immediate challenge of overcoming social awkwardness and making a connection with someone he is interested in.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The conflict in the scene is minimal, primarily revolving around Will's hesitation to approach Skylar and their playful banter. It adds tension but in a light-hearted manner.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is mild, with the protagonist facing the challenge of engaging in conversation with Skylar and making a good impression. The audience is unsure of how the interaction will unfold.

High Stakes: 2

The stakes in the scene are relatively low, focusing more on the potential for romance and character development. The interaction between Will and Skylar adds a layer of intrigue but without high stakes.

Story Forward: 6

While the scene doesn't significantly move the main plot forward, it sets up a potential romantic subplot for Will and introduces Skylar as a new character. It adds depth to the story.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected dialogue choices and quirky interactions between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes wondering how the conversation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a subtle philosophical conflict between the protagonist's casual, unconventional approach to dating (suggesting eating caramels instead of coffee) and Skylar's more traditional expectations. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about dating and relationships.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene evokes a sense of anticipation and excitement as Will and Skylar engage in a flirtatious conversation. There is a hint of romance and potential emotional connection.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue is the highlight of the scene, showcasing clever banter, humor, and flirtation. It reveals the personalities of the characters and keeps the audience engaged.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty banter, romantic tension, and playful interactions between the characters. The audience is drawn into the unfolding relationship dynamics.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and character interactions that maintain the audience's interest and drive the scene forward.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a romantic comedy genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.

EXT. BOW AND ARROW -- LATER

Our boys are walking out of the bar teasing one another about
their bar-ball exploits. Across the street is another bar with a
glass front. Morgan spots Clark sitting by the window with some
friends.

MORGAN
There goes that fuckin' Barney right
now, with his fuckin' "skiin' trip." We
should'a kicked that dude's ass.

WILL
Hold up.
Will crosses the street and approaches the plate glass window
and stands across from Clark, separated only by the glass. He
POUNDS THE GLASS to get Clark's attention.

WILL (cont'd)
Hey!

Clark turns toward Will.

WILL (cont'd)
DO YOU LIKE APPLES?

Clark doesn't get it.

WILL (cont'd)
DO YOU LIKE APPLES?!

CLARK
Yeah?

Will SLAMS SKYLAR'S PHONE NUMBER against the glass.

WILL
WELL I GOT HER NUMBER! HOW DO YA LIKE
THEM APPLES?!!

Will's boys erupt into laughter. Angle on Clark, deflated.

EXT. STREET -- NIGHT

The boys make their way home, piled into Chuckie's car, laughing
together.

EXT. CHARLES STREET BRIDGE -- DAWN

Shot of car crossing over the Charles St. Bridge, overtaking a
red-line train.

EXT. CHARLESTON BACKROAD -- DAWN

Travelling through narrow back roads in Charlestown, passing the
Bunker Hill monument.

EXT. WILL'S APARTMENT -- DAY

Arriving at Will's house and dropping him off.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. M.I.T. BUILDING AND GROUNDS GARAGE -- DAY

Lambeau walks into a small garage facility. The area stores lawn
machinery and various tools. An older man, TERRY (58) sits
behind the desk reading the BOSTON HERALD sports page. Lambeau
has obviously never been here before. He takes in the
surroundings, somewhat uncomfortable. Gets dirty.

LAMBEAU
Excuse me. Is this the buildings and
grounds office?

TERRY
Yeah, can I help you?

LAMBEAU
I'm trying to find the name of a student
who works here.

TERRY
No students work for me.

LAMBEAU
Could you just check, because the young
man who works in my building--

TERRY
Which one's your building?

LAMBEAU
Building two.

Terry checks a list behind his [own] desk. Looks up.

TERRY
Well, if something was stolen, I should
know about it.

LAMBEAU
No, no. Nothing like that. I just need
his name. TERRY I can't give you his
name unless you have a complaint.

LAMBEAU
Please, I'm a professor here and it's
very important.

TERRY
Well, he didn't show up for work
today...

Terry takes a beat. Holding all the cards.

TERRY (cont'd)
Look, he got his job through his P.O. so
you can call him.

Terry goes through a stack of paper on his desk. Takes out a
card and hands it to Lambeau. Lambeau looks blankly at the card
which reads: "PAROLE EMPLOYMENT PROGRAM."

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Confrontational, Defiant

Summary In this scene, Morgan, Will, and their friends leave a bar after playing bar-ball and spot Clark, an old rival, in a nearby bar. Will taunts Clark by pounding on the window and slamming Skylar's phone number against the glass, causing the group to erupt in laughter. The scene ends with the group driving away, leaving Clark dejected and humiliated. The main conflict is between Will and Clark, and the tone is playful yet antagonistic.

Strengths

Effective blend of humor and drama
Strong character interactions
Significant plot development

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel forced or cliched

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear purpose and direction. It's not clear what the characters' motivations are for their actions, and the overall goal of the scene is unclear.
The dialogue is stilted and unnatural. The characters speak in a way that is not believable, and their interactions lack authenticity.
The pacing of the scene is off. The action jumps around too quickly, and there is no sense of rhythm or flow.
The use of language is weak. The dialogue is full of clichés, and the descriptions are bland and uninspired.
The scene is too long. It could be cut down by at least a third without losing any of the essential information.

General Suggestions

Clarify the characters' motivations and goals. What do they want, and why? What obstacles are they facing?
Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and believable. Have the characters speak in their own unique voices.
Replan the pacing of the scene. Slow down the action in some places and speed it up in others. Create a sense of rhythm and flow.
Use stronger language. Replace clichés with fresh, original language. Make the descriptions more vivid and engaging.
Cut unnecessary dialogue and action. Focus on the essential elements of the scene and eliminate anything that is not necessary.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively blends humor, drama, and character development, setting up a pivotal moment for Will's character.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Will solving a math problem in a janitor's uniform adds depth to his character and sets up a major plot point.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly with Will's math-solving abilities being revealed, leading to potential conflicts and character growth.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh and humorous approach to showcasing dominance and rivalry among friends. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, contributing to the originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined and their interactions drive the scene forward, especially with Will's actions and Chuckie's defense.

Character Changes: 7

Will's character undergoes a subtle change as he reveals his intelligence and confronts social barriers.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to assert his dominance and confidence in front of his friends by showing off his ability to get a girl's phone number. This reflects his desire for validation and approval from his peers.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to impress his friends and embarrass Clark by revealing he has Skylar's phone number. This reflects the immediate challenge of asserting dominance and maintaining his reputation among his peers.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict, both internal and external, especially in Will's actions and the confrontation with Clark.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty, as Will's actions challenge Clark's authority and lead to a humorous confrontation.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are raised with Will's actions potentially leading to consequences, adding tension to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by revealing Will's abilities and setting up future conflicts and developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected way in which Will reveals Skylar's phone number to Clark, leading to a surprising and humorous outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene is the idea of power dynamics and social hierarchy. Will's actions challenge Clark's status and authority, highlighting the clash between different values and perceptions of masculinity.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions from humor to tension, setting up for potential emotional growth in future scenes.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue is sharp and witty, particularly in Will's confrontation with Clark and the banter among the friends.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters, the humor infused in the dialogue, and the progression of the narrative towards a comedic resolution.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and transitions that maintain the audience's interest and drive the scene forward effectively.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings and descriptions that enhance the visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and engaging structure, moving seamlessly from one location to another while maintaining the momentum of the narrative.

INT. COURTROOM -- DAY

Will stands before JUDGE MALONE (40) being arraigned. It is
fairly unceremoniuous, the coutroom nearly empty, save Will and
the PROSECUTOR. Lambeau walks in from the back.

WILL
There is a lengthy legal precedent, Your
Honor, going back to 1789, whereby a
defendent may claim self-defense against
an agent of the government where the act
is shown to be a defense against
tyranny, a defense of liberty--

The Judge interrupts to address the prosecutor.

JUDGE MALONE
Mr. Simmons, Officer McNeely who signed
the complaint isn't in my courtroom. Why
is that?

PROSECUTOR
He's in the hospital with a broken knee,
Your Honor. But I have depositions from
the other officers.

WILL
Henry Ward Beecher proclaimed, in his
Proverbs From Plymouth Pulpit back in
1887, that "Every American citizen is by
birth, a sworn officer of the state.
Every man is a policeman." As for the
other officers, even William Congrave
said; "he that first cries out 'stop
thief' is 'oft he that has stolen the
treasure."

PROSECUTOR
Your Honor--

Will cranks it up.

WILL
(to Prosecutor)
I am afforded the right to speak in my
own defense by our constitution, Sir.
The same document which guarantees my
right to liberty. "Liberty," in case
you've forgotten, is "the soul's right
to breathe, and when it cannot take a
long breath laws are girded too tight.
Without liberty, man is a syncope."
(beat, to Judge)
Ibid. Your Honor.

PROSECUTOR
Man is a what?
WILL
Julius Caesar proclaimed-- Though he be
wounded--"Magna..."

The Judge interrupts.

JUDGE MALONE
Son,
(a beat)
My turn.

The Judge opens Will's CASE HISTORY.

JUDGE MALONE (cont'd)
(reading)
June, '93, assault, Sept. '93
assault...Grand theft auto February '94.

A beat, the Judge takes particular notice.

JUDGE MALONE (cont'd)
Where, appearantly, you defended
yourself and had the case thrown out by
citing "free property rights of horse
and carriage" from 1798...

Lambeau has to smile, impressed. The Judge shakes his head.

JUDGE MALONE (cont'd)
March, '94 public drunkenness, public
nudity, assault. 10/94 mayhem. November
'94, assault. Jan. '95 impersonating a
police officer, mayhem, theft,
resisting-- overturned--

The Judge takes a beat. Gives Will a look.

JUDGE MALONE (cont'd)
You're in my courtroom, now and I am
aware of your priors.
(beat)
I'm also aware that you're an orphan. You've been through
several foster homes. The state removed you from three because
of serious physical abuse.

The Judge holds a look to Will, who looks down.

JUDGE MALONE (cont'd)
Another Judge might care. You hit a cop,
you go in.
(beat)
Motion to dismiss denied.

The Bailiff goes to remove Will from the courtroom.

JUDGE MALONE (cont'd)
Keep workin' on your arguments, son. A
word of advice for trial; speak English.
As Will is removed from the courtroom, Lambeau approaches Judge
Malone who is stepping down from the bench.

LAMBEAU
Excuse me, your Honor.
(offers hand)
Gerald Lambeau.

An awkward beat. Lambeau waits for some sign of recognition.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
I'm a professor at M.I.T.
(beat)
Combunatorial Mathematics.

The Judge offers only a blank look.

JUDGE MALONE
Oh. Pleased to meet you.

LAMBEAU
Do you have a minute?

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Legal
Tone: Serious, Intense, Intellectual

Summary In a courtroom setting, Will is arraigned for assaulting a police officer and pleads self-defense against government tyranny, citing historical figures and precedents. The judge, Judge Malone, reveals Will's history of legal issues and his status as an orphan who has suffered physical abuse, ultimately denying his motion to dismiss. Lambeau introduces himself as a professor of combinatorial mathematics, and the scene ends with Will being removed from the courtroom.

Strengths

Intelligent dialogue
Tense atmosphere
Character depth

Weaknesses

Some may find the legal jargon overwhelming

General Critique

The scene is well-written with a clear conflict and tension, but it could benefit from more visual and sensory details to make it more engaging for the reader.
The dialogue is strong and establishes Will's character as intelligent and quick-witted, but it might be helpful to balance it with more nonverbal communication and action.
The pacing of the scene is well-done, with a good balance between the Judge's exposition and Will's responses, but it might be improved by adding more stakes or consequences for the outcome of the arraignment.

General Suggestions

Consider adding more sensory details to the scene, such as the sounds, smells, and textures of the courtroom, to make it feel more immersive and real.
Consider using more nonverbal communication and action to break up the dialogue and add variety to the scene, such as Will's body language, facial expressions, or gestures.
Consider raising the stakes or adding more consequences for the outcome of the arraignment, such as Will's freedom, reputation, or future prospects, to make the scene more suspenseful and engaging for the reader.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is well-written, intense, and showcases the intelligence and depth of the characters. It sets up a significant conflict and raises the stakes for the protagonist.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of the scene, a courtroom confrontation, is crucial for the development of the plot and the characters. It highlights Will's intelligence and legal acumen.

Plot: 9

The plot is advanced significantly in this scene through the legal confrontation, setting up future conflicts and challenges for the characters.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases originality through the protagonist's use of historical and philosophical arguments in a legal setting, creating a fresh approach to courtroom drama.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their personalities shine through in this scene, especially Will's intelligence and the Judge's authority.

Character Changes: 8

Will undergoes a subtle change as he faces the consequences of his actions and confronts his past in the courtroom.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to defend himself using legal and philosophical arguments, showcasing his intelligence and knowledge.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to have the motion to dismiss granted and avoid being sent to jail.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Will and the Judge is intense and sets up a significant challenge for the protagonist.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the judge's authority and the protagonist's defiance creating a compelling conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Will faces potential consequences for his actions, adding tension and urgency to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by introducing new challenges and conflicts for the characters to overcome.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected historical and philosophical references used by the protagonist.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the protagonist's belief in defending himself against tyranny and the judge's adherence to the law and order.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a sense of tension and anticipation, drawing the audience into the characters' emotional turmoil.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, intellectual, and drives the conflict forward. It showcases the intelligence and wit of the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging due to the intense legal proceedings, intellectual arguments, and the protagonist's defiance against authority.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and highlighting key moments of conflict and revelation.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for a screenplay, with proper scene descriptions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for a courtroom drama, with clear dialogue and character interactions.

INT. MIDDLESEX COUNTY JAIL, HOLDING AREA -- SAME

A GUARD walks Will down a hallway toward a group of phones.

GUARD
One call, to an attorney.
(beat)
One.

The Guard gives Will a hard look for a beat. Then leaves.

WILL
How many?

Will picks up the phone, dials.

WILL (cont'd)
Hey, Skylar?

INT. SKYLAR'S DORM -- DAY

SKYLAR
Yeah?

WILL
It's Will, the really funny good looking
guy you met at the bar?

SKYLAR
I'm sorry, I don't recall meeting anyone
who fits that description.
WILL
Okay, you got me. It's the ugly,
obnoxious, toothless loser who got drunk
and wouldn't leave you alone all night.

SKYLAR
Oh Will! I was wondering when you'd
call.

WILL
Yeah, I figured maybe sometime this week
we could go to a cafe and have some
caramels.

SKYLAR
Sounds good, where are you now?

WILL
You aren't, by any chance, Pre-law? Are
you?

CUT TO:

INT. MIDDLESEX COUNTY JAIL, INTERROGATION ROOM -- LATER

Professor Lambeau sits, waiting. Will is brought in, shackled,
by the guard.

LAMBEAU
Hello. Gerald Lambeau, M.I.T.

WILL
Fuck do you want?

LAMBEAU
I've spoken with the judge and he's
agreed to release you under my
supervision.

WILL
(suspicious)
Really?

LAMBEAU
(beat)
Yes. Under two conditions.

WILL
What're those?

LAMBEAU
That you meet with me twice a week—
(a beat)
- and you meet with a therapist.
WILL
If I agree to this, I walk right now?

LAMBEAU
That's right.

WILL
I'll do the work. I'm not going to meet
with a therapist.

LAMBEAU
Now, it won't be as bad as it sounds,
Will.
(beat)
I've already spoken to one therapist,
his name is Henry Lipkin and he's a
friend of mine. He's also published four
books and is widely considered to be one
of the brightest men in his field.
(beat)
I'm sure it'll be better than spending
the next six months in jail.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Sarcastic, Confrontational, Humorous

Summary In the Middlesex County Jail's holding area, Will makes a tense phone call to Skylar before meeting with Professor Lambeau in a more hopeful interrogation room. Will and the guard have a conflict over phone call limitations, while Will negotiates the terms of his release with Lambeau, ultimately agreeing but refusing to meet with a therapist. The scene is filled with tension, hope, and confrontation.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Character development
Tension building

Weaknesses

Lack of intense emotional impact

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear conflict or stakes. Will calling Skylar doesn't create any tension or urgency, and the conversation is mostly expositional.
The dialogue is unnatural and stilted, especially Will's opening line. It doesn't sound like the way real people talk.
The scene doesn't advance the plot or develop Will's character in any meaningful way. It's essentially a filler scene that could be cut without losing anything important.
The transition to the interrogation room is abrupt and disorienting. It would be helpful to have a beat or two to establish the new setting and situation.

General Suggestions

Consider adding a conflict or stakes to the phone call. For example, Will could be calling Skylar to ask for help with his legal troubles, or to confess something important.
Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and believable. Avoid using exposition dumps and try to create a more dynamic conversation between Will and Skylar.
Think about how the scene can advance the plot or develop Will's character. For example, Will could use the phone call to learn something new about himself or his situation.
Add a beat or two to the transition to the interrogation room to help orient the audience. For example, you could show Will being led into the room by a guard, or have him look around the room and take in his surroundings.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, filled with tension, humor, and character development. It effectively sets up future conflicts and relationships.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of negotiating Will's release under specific conditions adds depth to the story and sets up potential character growth.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly with Will's potential release and the introduction of therapy as a condition. It sets up future conflicts and character arcs.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh take on the typical jail interrogation scenario by infusing it with humor and emotional depth. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Will and Professor Lambeau, are well-developed and their interactions drive the scene forward.

Character Changes: 8

Will shows signs of potential change by agreeing to meet with Professor Lambeau but resisting therapy. This sets up a character arc for future development.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal is to navigate his current situation and make decisions that align with his values and beliefs. He is also grappling with his own identity and self-worth.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal is to secure his release from jail under the conditions set by Professor Lambeau.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 8

There is a high level of conflict in the scene, both internal (Will's resistance to therapy) and external (negotiation with Professor Lambeau).

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and power dynamics creating tension and uncertainty.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Will's freedom is on the line, and the conditions set by Professor Lambeau could impact his future.

Story Forward: 9

The scene significantly moves the story forward by introducing new conditions for Will's release and setting up future conflicts and relationships.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the dialogue and the shifting power dynamics between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between Will's resistance to therapy and authority figures like Professor Lambeau who believe it is necessary for his well-being. This challenges Will's beliefs about self-reliance and vulnerability.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene elicits a range of emotions from defiance to humor, but the emotional impact is not as intense as in other scenes.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals a lot about the characters' personalities and motivations.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, tense atmosphere, and the high stakes for the protagonist.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing key information at a steady pace.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene is clear and easy to follow, adhering to industry standards for screenplay format.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and well-paced dialogue.

INT. FUNLAND -- DAY

Will and Chuckie walk up to an enclosed trampoline. Billy and
Morgan prefer to use it for their own version of "Wrestlemania."
As Will and Chuckie approach, Billy is on top of a bloodied
Morgan and has him in the "Cobra Clutch." Will and Chuckie watch
for a beat. Billy tightens his grip.

BILLY
Submit, bitch! Submit! Submit!

MORGAN
(being strangled)
Suck my cock!

BILLY
Oh, Morgan!

Chuckie turns to Will, conspiratorially as they wait for the
fight to finish.

CHUCKIE
What'd you get? You get leniency?

WILL
Probation, counselin', few days a week.

CHUCKIE
You're fuckin' good.

Will smiles.
CHUCKIE (cont'd)
Just submit, Morgan. He's got you in the
Cobra Clutch.

MORGAN
(to Chuckie)
Fuck your mother too!

INT. WILL'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT

Will sits alone in his one room apartment, reading. A closer
look reveals he is reading a self-help PSYCHOLOGY BOOK. Will is
flipping through the book at about a page per second. He shakes
his head and smiles. Upon finishing the book, he throws it in a
nearby WASTEBASKET. Push in on the back of the book where a
SMILING PSYCHOLOGIST is pictured.

INT. PSYCHOLOGIST'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS

Will sits in a well decorated Psychologist's Office. Across from
Will sits the same PSYCHOLOGIST, HENRY LIPKIN (40), from the
book. They are in mid-session.

WILL
That's why I love stock-car racin'. That
Dale Ernhart's real good.

PSYCHOLOGIST
Now you know Will, and I know, what you
need to be doing. You have a gift.

WILL
I could work the pit maybe, but I could
never drive like Dale Ernhart--

PSYCHOLOGIST
--you have a quality-- something you
were born with, that you have no control
over- and you are, in a sense, hiding
that by becoming a janitor. And I'm not
saying that's wrong. I'm friends with
the janitor that works in my building.
He's been to my house for dinner. As a
matter of fact I did some free
consultation for "Mike" -- that's not
his real name. That's in my book.

WILL
Yeah, I read your book. "Mike" had the
same problems as "Chad" the stockbroker.
PSYCHOLOGIST
Yes. The pressures you feel, and again,
I am neither labeling nor judging them,
are keeping you from fulfilling your
potential -- you're in a rut. So stop
the Tom Foolery -- the Shenanigan's,
Will.

WILL
You're right. I know.

PSYCHOLOGIST
Will, your not getting off that easy.

WILL
No, but, I mean you know...I do other
things. That no one knows about.

PSYCHOLOGIST
Like what, Will?

WILL
I go places, I interact.

PSYCHOLOGIST
What places?

WILL
Certain, clubs.
(beat)
Like, Paradise. It's not bad.

Will gives the Psychologist a furtive look.

WILL (cont'd)
It's just that feeling when you can
take your shirt off and really dance.
(beat)
When the music owns you. Do you
understand?

PSYCHOLOGIST
I might understand that.

WILL
Do you find it hard to hide the fact
that you're gay?

PSYCHOLOGIST
What?

WILL
C'mon, I read your book. I talked to
you. It's just something I know to be
true.

PSYCHOLOGIST
That's very presumptuous.
WILL
Buddy, two seconds ago you were ready to
give me a jump.

PSYCHOLOGIST
(a little laugh)
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but
I'm married and I have two children.

WILL
I'm sure you do. You probably got a real
nice house, nice car -- your book's a
best seller.

PSYCHOLOGIST
You're getting defensive, Will.

WILL
Look, man. I don't care if you're
putting from the rough. There are solid
arguments that some of the greatest
people in history were gay; Alexander
the Great, Caeser, Shakespeare, Oscar
Wilde, Napoleon, Gertrude Stein, not to
mention Danny Terrio, not many straight
men can dance like that.

PSYCHOLOGIST
Who is "Danny Terrio?"

WILL
If you wanna hit "Ramrod," take your
shot. Take some pride in it. You go to
church? So fuckin' what, God loves you.
I mean, Christ. A guy as well known as
you? By the time you put your disguise
on and skulk out of the house Sunday
nights you probably look like "Inspector
Cluseau."

The Psychologist calmly packs his things.

PSYCHOLOGIST
Well, I can see this is pointless...

WILL
You're getting defensive...Henry. And
hey, cheif--tell the wife, at least.
Christ, set her free.

The shrink gets up and walks out.

WILL (cont'd)
Fuckin' hypocrite...

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Sarcastic, Confrontational, Reflective

Summary In this scene, Will and Chuckie watch Billy and Morgan wrestle on a trampoline at Funland. Later, Will reveals to Chuckie that he received probation, counseling, and community service for his crime. Will attends a therapy session with a psychologist named Henry Lipkin, where they discuss Will's potential and his double life as a janitor and a club-goer. However, the session turns heated when Will mistakenly assumes the psychologist is gay, leading to a heated argument and the psychologist storming out. The scene takes place in two different locations: an enclosed trampoline at Funland during the day and a psychologist's office during a therapy session. The main conflict arises when Will and the psychologist have differing opinions about Will's potential and his double life. The tone of this scene is tense and confrontational, particularly during the therapy session between Will and the psychologist.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Character development
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue
Lack of external conflict

General Critique

The scene transitions are abrupt and could benefit from smoother transitions to maintain the flow of the story.
The characters' motivations and emotions are not always clear, making it difficult to fully understand their actions and reactions.
The dialogue sometimes feels unnatural and forced, which can make it challenging for the audience to connect with the characters.
The pacing of the scene is uneven, with some parts feeling rushed while others drag on for too long.

General Suggestions

Add more context and background information to help the audience understand the characters' motivations and emotions.
Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging, which will help the audience connect with the characters on a deeper level.
Pay attention to the pacing of the scene, ensuring that each part flows smoothly into the next and that the overall pacing is consistent.
Consider adding transitions between scenes to maintain the flow of the story and avoid jarring the audience.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging and thought-provoking, providing insight into Will's character and setting up potential conflicts for future development.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of self-discovery and confronting one's inner demons is well-executed, adding depth to the character of Will.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Will opens up to his psychologist, revealing his struggles and inner conflicts.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and authentic dialogue that captures the characters' personalities and motivations effectively. The interactions feel genuine and provide insight into the characters' inner conflicts.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Will, are well-developed and their interactions are compelling.

Character Changes: 8

Will undergoes a subtle change as he opens up about his struggles and confronts his psychologist.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his true desires and potential, as well as to confront his own insecurities and fears about his current life choices.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal in this scene is to seek guidance and advice from the psychologist on how to overcome his feelings of being stuck in a rut and fulfill his potential.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a conflict between Will and his psychologist, as well as an internal conflict within Will himself.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and tension, keeping the audience engaged and unsure of the outcome.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are primarily internal for Will, as he grapples with his identity and potential for growth.

Story Forward: 7

The scene provides important character development and sets the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in character interactions and revelations that challenge the audience's expectations.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between societal expectations and personal desires. Will struggles with the pressure to conform to a certain lifestyle while also yearning for a sense of freedom and self-expression.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from defiance to introspection.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and reveals the characters' personalities effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic character interactions, witty dialogue, and emotional depth that keeps the audience invested in the characters' journeys.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, creating a compelling and immersive experience for the audience.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting that enhances readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear and coherent structure that effectively transitions between different settings and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the overall effectiveness of the scene.

INT. HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS

The Psychologist comes walking out, much to the surprise of
Lambeau and Tom who have been waiting in the lobby.

LAMBEAU
Henry?

The Psychologist keeps walking.

PSYCHOLOGIST
No. You know what, Gerry? This is why I
don't do pro-bono anymore. It's not
worth it to me.

LAMBEAU
What happened?

PSYCHOLOGIST
I don't have the time. I'm going on
national television this week.

LAMBEAU
Wait a minute, Henry...

He [Henry] is out the door. Lambeau looks to Tom.

CUT TO:

INT. LAMBEAU'S OFFICE -- DAY

Will is in Lambeau's office. Lambeau is at the board, working on
a diagram as Tom takes notes. Will seems disinterested.

LAMBEAU
This rectangle is subdivided into
rectangles. One edge of an inner
rectangle is an integer. Can you prove
that one edge of the larger rectangle is
an integer?

WILL
Of course.

LAMBEAU
Okay. How?

WILL
It's an integer proof.

Lambeau smiles.

WILL (cont'd)
What? Hey, look buddy my time's almost
up. You want me to sit here for an hour
and write it out?
Lambeau says nothing. Will gets up and goes to the board.

WILL (cont'd)
Look, I'll give you the key steps to it
but I'm not gonna do the whole thing.

Lambeau keeps smiling.

LAMBEAU
That would be a monumental waste of
time, wouldn't it, Will?

WILL
I think so.

LAMBEAU
I happen to know so.

Lambeau rises and goes to the board.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
You're thinking too hard. What if I did
this?

He draws a vertical line through the diagram.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Now, what if I do this?

He draws a horizontal line through the diagram. He hands Will
the chalk.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Have you ever played checkers?

Will realizes what Lambeau is getting at. In a flash he starts
drawing lines through the diagram, energized.

WILL
You color-code it. Half-red, half-
black. If that's an integer--

Lambeau steps in, writing with him [Will].

LAMBEAU
What's that?

WILL
Half-red, half-black--

LAMBEAU
--that?--

WILL
--Half-red, half-black--

LAMBEAU
--That edge!
WILL
An integer.

The two stop. They are silent for a moment. Like two gunfighters
after a duel, they put down the chalk.

LAMBEAU
(checks his watch)
It would appear we got that proof in
under the wire after all. It's not how
hard you look at things, young man, it's
the way you look at them. If you take
aim before you fire, you will find the
most difficult problems become, quite
literally, child's play.

Will gets his coat.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Will, you've managed to offend four of
my colleagues so much that they refused
to come back. You're meeting with the
leading hypnotist in the country next
week and Tom and I plan to sit in on the
sessions, so I expect you to behave
appropriately.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama
Tone: Serious, Intellectual, Confrontational

Summary In a hallway, the Psychologist declines to assist Lambeau and Tom on their case due to pro-bono issues and his TV appearance. Back in Lambeau's office, Will faces difficulty solving a math problem, but after Lambeau's checkerboard analogy, he experiences a breakthrough. The scene concludes with Lambeau reminding Will of his meeting with a leading hypnotist.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Character development
Intellectual challenge

Weaknesses

Lack of emotional depth
Limited action

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear purpose and direction. It starts with the psychologist leaving, moves to Will's disinterest in a math problem, then jumps to Lambeau's demonstration of the solution, and finally ends with Lambeau giving Will instructions for his upcoming meeting with a hypnotist. These elements feel disjointed and unfocused.
The dialogue is exposition-heavy and lacks natural flow. Characters state information and instructions without engaging in meaningful conversations. For example, Lambeau's explanation of the math problem and his instructions for Will's upcoming meeting feel like lectures rather than organic dialogue.
The character interactions are superficial and lack depth. Will's brief exchange with Lambeau about the math problem is purely functional, and their subsequent conversation about the upcoming hypnotist session lacks emotional connection or tension.
The scene lacks visual interest and cinematic elements. It takes place entirely in Lambeau's office, with characters mostly standing or sitting and talking. This static setting and lack of action make the scene visually dull and unengaging.

General Suggestions

Establish a clear purpose for the scene. Determine what the characters need to achieve or what information needs to be conveyed, and tailor the scene's content and structure accordingly.
Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging. Avoid exposition dumps and strive for authentic conversations that reveal character traits and advance the plot.
Add depth and complexity to the character interactions. Give characters clear motivations and desires, and let their interactions drive the scene's conflict and resolution.
Incorporate cinematic elements to enhance the scene's visual interest. Consider using camera movement, lighting, and editing techniques to create a more dynamic and engaging experience for the audience.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is well-written, engaging, and provides a significant development in the relationship between Will and Lambeau. The intellectual challenge adds depth to the characters and moves the story forward.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using a math problem to showcase Will's intelligence and the dynamics between the characters is executed effectively.

Plot: 9

The plot advances as Will solves the math problem, showcasing his skills and setting up further developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene presents a fresh approach to the academic setting by focusing on unconventional problem-solving methods and personal growth themes. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters, especially Will and Lambeau, are well-developed and their interactions reveal more about their personalities and motivations.

Character Changes: 7

Will's character undergoes a subtle change as he engages with the math problem and gains validation from solving it.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to prove his intelligence and problem-solving skills to himself and others. This reflects his deeper need for validation and recognition of his abilities.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to solve the mathematical problem presented to him by Lambeau. This reflects the immediate challenge he is facing in the academic setting.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict between Will and Lambeau, adding depth to their relationship.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the protagonist facing a challenging mathematical problem and conflicting academic approaches. The audience is kept on their toes as they wonder how the protagonist will overcome these obstacles.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are moderate, with Will's reputation and relationship with Lambeau on the line.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by showcasing Will's intelligence and setting up future interactions between the characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected problem-solving approach taken by the protagonist and the philosophical conflict between traditional and unconventional methods.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between traditional academic methods and unconventional problem-solving approaches. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about intelligence and creativity.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The emotional impact is moderate, with hints of tension and resignation in the characters' interactions.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp and reflects the tension between the characters, particularly in the intellectual challenge presented by Lambeau.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intellectual challenge presented to the protagonist, the sharp dialogue between characters, and the personal growth themes explored.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense as the protagonist solves the mathematical problem. The rhythm of the dialogue adds to the scene's engagement.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character actions. The dialogue is well-formatted and engaging.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.

INT. LAMBEAU'S OFFICE -- DAY

Will sits in a chair across from Lambeau and the HYPNOTIST.
Lambeau's assistant, TOM (33) takes notes. The Hypnotist makes
small talk with Lambeau, who checks his watch.

LAMBEAU
Shall we start the, uh...

WILL
Yeah, when do I get my hypnosis? You
guys been talkin' for twenty minutes.

HYPNOTIST
Yes, Will. We'll get to that. But first,
why don't you go to sleep for me.

He SNAPS HIS FINGERS and instantly Will's head goes BACK and his
EYES CLOSE. The Hypnotist gives Lambeau a look.

HYPNOTIST (cont'd)
Would you mind standing on one leg?

Will gets up and stands on one leg. Lambeau is impressed.

TIME CUT TO:
INT. LAMBEAU'S OFFICE -- LATER

Will is reclining, eyes closed, in a trance-like state. The mood
is more serious now.

HYPNOTIST
Okay, you're in your bed, Will. Now how
old are you?

WILL
Seven.

HYPNOTIST
And what do you see?

WILL
Somethin's in my room.

HYPNOTIST
What is it?

WILL
It's like a small figure, hoverin' over
me. Gettin' closer.

Will flinches.

HYPNOTIST
You're in a safe place, Will.

WILL
It's touching me.

Lambeau makes a sound. The Hypnotist shushes him [Lambeau] with
his [Hypnotist's] finger. Tom returns to his note-taking.

HYPNOTIST
Where is it touching you?

WILL
Down there.
(indicating genitals)
And I'm nervous.

HYPNOTIST
You don't have to be nervous, Will.

Lambeau and the Therapist trade looks. This is working.

WILL
'Cause I'm not ready.
(calming)
But the figure tells me everything's
gonna be all right. 'Cause the figure's
a Libra too. And we start dancin' and
it's beautiful--

Will breaks into song at full volume.
WILL (cont'd)
"SKY ROCKETS IN FLIGHT!"

LAMBEAU
(getting up)
Oh Jesus.

The Hypnotist gets up and starts heading towards the door. Will
is still singing from "Sky Rockets."

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Wait a minute, Barry.

HYPNOTIST
I have better ways to spend my time.

He is gone. Will stops singing, laughs.

LAMBEAU
Oh, for God's sake, Will.

WILL
Oh, come on! You're not pinnin' this one
on me. He left, I wanted to talk to him
for another twenty minutes. I was havin'
fun.

LAMBEAU
I told you to cooperate with these
people.

WILL
C'mon, that guy was a fuckin' piece of
work.

Will gets up and adopts a hypnotic persona in front of Lambeau.

WILL (cont'd)
(spooky voice)
Look into my eyes. I don't need therapy.

LAMBEAU
Get out, Will.

WILL
Okay...don't forget to get another
therapist for next week.

LAMBEAU
That's enough.

Will is out the door. Lambeau turns to Tom.

TOM
I called Mel Weintraub this morning, to
check for availability.
LAMBEAU
What's the point?

TOM
What do you want to do?

LAMBEAU
There is somebody...

TOM
Who is he?

LAMBEAU
He was my roommate in college.

Genres: Drama, Psychological Thriller
Tone: Intense, Serious, Humorous

Summary In Lambeau's office, a hypnosis session is conducted to help patient Will with his mental health issues. Under hypnosis, Will reveals a childhood memory of a small figure touching him and starts singing 'Sky Rockets in Flight'. The hypnotist leaves due to Will's behavior, and Lambeau becomes frustrated, ultimately asking Will to leave. The scene ends with tension in the air, leaving Lambeau with the task of finding another therapist for Will.

Strengths

Effective use of hypnosis to reveal character depth
Balancing humor and seriousness in dialogue
Strong emotional impact on audience

Weaknesses

Sudden shift in tone from serious to humorous may be jarring for some viewers

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear purpose and direction. It is not immediately apparent what the characters are trying to achieve or what the conflict is.
The dialogue is stilted and unnatural. The characters speak in a formal and academic manner that does not reflect the way people actually talk.
The scene is too long and drawn out. The Hypnotist's small talk with Lambeau and Will's questioning of the Hypnotist's methods could be cut without losing any important information.
The Hypnotist's sudden departure is abrupt and unexplained. It would be more effective if there was a reason for him to leave, such as a disagreement with Lambeau or Will.
The scene ends on a weak note with Will simply leaving the office. There is no resolution to the conflict or any sense of closure.

General Suggestions

Give the scene a clear purpose and conflict. What do the characters want and what is preventing them from getting it?
Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and conversational. Use contractions, slang, and colloquialisms to make the characters sound more like real people.
Shorten the scene by cutting out unnecessary dialogue and action. Focus on the most important moments and events.
Give the Hypnotist a reason for leaving. This could be a disagreement with Lambeau or Will, or it could be that he simply has other commitments.
End the scene on a stronger note. This could be by having Will and Lambeau reach a resolution to their conflict, or by having Will make a decision about his future.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively delves into Will's subconscious through hypnosis, revealing vulnerable and emotional aspects of his character while maintaining a balance of seriousness and humor.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of using hypnosis to explore Will's past traumas and emotions is innovative and adds depth to his character development.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Will's inner thoughts and fears are brought to the surface, setting the stage for further exploration of his psyche.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on therapy and hypnosis, blending humor with introspection. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and original, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters of Will, Lambeau, and the Hypnotist are well-developed and their interactions reveal layers of complexity and emotion.

Character Changes: 8

Will undergoes a significant emotional journey as he confronts his past traumas and vulnerabilities, leading to personal growth and self-discovery.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to resist the hypnosis and maintain control over his own thoughts and actions. This reflects his fear of vulnerability and his desire to protect himself from being manipulated or influenced.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to disrupt the hypnosis session and assert his independence. This reflects the immediate challenge of being put under hypnosis against his will.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict arises from Will's internal struggles and the tension between his past and present experiences, creating a sense of unease and emotional turmoil.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in this scene is strong, with the protagonist facing challenges from the hypnotist and his own internal struggles. The audience is left unsure of how the scene will unfold.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are high for Will as he confronts his past traumas and vulnerabilities, facing the challenge of self-discovery and personal growth.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of Will's character and setting the stage for further development and conflict.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected actions and dialogue of the characters, creating a sense of tension and intrigue.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between the protagonist's skepticism of therapy and the therapist's belief in the power of hypnosis. This challenges the protagonist's beliefs about control and vulnerability.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions through Will's vulnerable revelations and the exploration of his innermost fears and memories.

Dialogue: 7

The dialogue effectively conveys the tension and vulnerability present in the scene, with moments of humor adding depth to the character interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its mix of humor, tension, and emotional depth. The dynamic between the characters and the unexpected turns in the plot keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing moments of tension with moments of humor, creating a dynamic and engaging rhythm.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between different moments and a cohesive narrative flow.

INT. BUNKER HILL CAMPUS -- DAY

This is SEAN MAGUIRE'S "Dying and Bereavement" class. Emblazoned
on the door is "room 101." While the lecture hall could hold
sixty students, there are less than fifteen here today.

Sean Maguire lectures to the class in a resigned tone. Tired of
teaching, tired of life, he finds himself resigned to the tedium
of teaching core classes to an indifferent student body.

SEAN
Establishing trust is the most important
component in making breakthroughs with a
patient. Why?

A beat.

SEAN (cont'd)
Maureen?

MAUREEN'S only response is an empty stare.

SEAN (cont'd)
Keep up the good work, Maureen. Vinnie?

VINNIE looks up.

VINNIE
Because trust is an important thing.

SEAN
Don't bullshit me, Vinnie. Didn't your
brother give you the notes? Okay. If a
patient doesn't trust you then they
won't feel safe enough to be honest with
you--then there's no point to them being
in therapy. It's like saying -- "Fine,
come here and don't tell me a thing but
go home feeling like you're doing
something about your problems-- and give
me my fifty bucks before you leave will
ya'!"
He looks around the room for approval. No one is listening.

SEAN (cont'd)
If you don't help them trust you -- then
there's no way you'll ever get them to
sleep with you. And that should be the
goal of any good therapist. Insecure
women, you know...nail 'em when they're
vulnerable, that's always been my motto.

The students look up, somewhat stunned.

SEAN (cont'd)
See, I got Vinnie's attention.

Laughter. Sean starts to resume his lecture, when he notices
LAMBEAU standing in the back of the room. There is an awkward
moment.

SEAN (cont'd)
Gerry.

LAMBEAU
Sean.

SEAN
(to class)
Well, it seems we're in the presence of
greatness. Professor Gerald Lambeau is a
Field's Medal winner. Combunatorial
Mathematics. 1986.

The students stare blankly.

LAMBEAU
Hello.

SEAN
The Field's Medal is the Nobel Prize for
math.
(beat)
But it's only given out every four
years.

A beat.

SEAN (cont'd)
Okay, that's all for today. Try and get
through Fernald by Monday.

The class starts to pack up and file out. Lambeau approaches
Sean who steps down from the lecturn.

LAMBEAU
Good to see you.

SEAN
Good to see you.
LAMBEAU
Is there someplace we can talk?

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Resigned, Sarcastic, Awkward, Humorous

Summary Sean Maguire, a disillusioned professor, teaches his 'Dying and Bereavement' class with only a few students present. He tries to engage them with humor and discusses the importance of trust in therapy. Gerald Lambeau, an old college roommate and Fields Medal winner, arrives as a surprise guest. Sean introduces him to the class and makes plans to talk in private, ending the scene as the class is dismissed.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Humorous tone
Character development

Weaknesses

Lack of emotional depth
Limited conflict

General Critique

The scene is too long and lacks focus. It starts with Sean Maguire lecturing to his class about trust in therapy, but then quickly shifts to Lambeau entering the room. The two characters have a brief conversation, but it's not clear what the purpose of their interaction is.
The dialogue is stilted and unnatural. The characters don't sound like real people, and their conversation is full of exposition. For example, Sean's lecture on trust is a good example of exposition that could be cut.
The scene doesn't advance the plot. The characters don't learn anything new, and there's no change in their relationships. The scene is essentially a filler, and it could be cut without losing anything important.

General Suggestions

Cut the scene down to its essential elements. The scene should focus on the interaction between Sean and Lambeau. The lecture on trust can be cut, as well as the conversation about the Field's Medal.
Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and believable. The characters should sound like real people, and their conversation should flow more smoothly.
Add some conflict to the scene. The characters should have something to disagree about, or something that they're trying to achieve. This will make the scene more interesting and engaging.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively blends drama and comedy, providing insight into the characters and setting while maintaining a humorous tone. The dialogue is engaging and reveals the personalities of the characters.

Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of trust in therapy is explored through Sean's lecture, highlighting the importance of establishing trust with patients. The scene also introduces the character of Professor Lambeau and sets up potential conflicts and interactions.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Sean delivers his lecture and interacts with Professor Lambeau. The introduction of the Field's Medal winner adds depth to the story and sets up future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene demonstrates a high level of originality through its fresh approach to the academic setting, the unconventional teacher-student dynamics, and the use of humor to explore deeper themes of trust and connection.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-defined through their dialogue and actions. Sean's sarcastic and humorous personality shines through, while Professor Lambeau's reserved demeanor contrasts with Sean's. The students' reactions also provide insight into their personalities.

Character Changes: 3

There are subtle hints at character development, particularly in Sean's interactions with the students and Professor Lambeau. Sean's teaching style and personality are further revealed.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his facade of indifference and resignation while also trying to engage his students in the subject matter. This reflects his deeper need for connection and understanding despite his outward appearance of apathy.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to navigate the awkward encounter with Professor Lambeau and maintain his composure in front of his students. This reflects the immediate challenge of balancing his personal and professional relationships.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

There is a mild conflict between Sean and the students, as well as an awkward interaction between Sean and Professor Lambeau. The tension is more comedic than dramatic.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, with the tension between Sean and his students, as well as the awkward encounter with Lambeau, creating obstacles for the protagonist to overcome.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on character dynamics and humor than intense conflicts or high stakes situations.

Story Forward: 6

The scene introduces new elements and characters, setting the stage for future interactions and developments. It moves the story forward by expanding on the themes of trust and relationships.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected interactions between the characters, the dark humor that subverts expectations, and the underlying tension that keeps the audience guessing about the outcome.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the contrast between Sean's cynical and irreverent attitude towards teaching and therapy, and Lambeau's more traditional and academic approach to mathematics and education. This challenges Sean's beliefs about the value of trust and connection in therapy.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 4

The scene elicits mild amusement and entertainment rather than deep emotional responses. The humor and sarcasm contribute to the overall tone.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, sarcastic, and humorous, capturing the essence of the characters. Sean's unconventional teaching style and interactions with the students create engaging and entertaining exchanges.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, dark humor, and the tension between the characters. The dynamic between Sean and his students, as well as the unexpected encounter with Lambeau, keeps the audience interested and invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension, developing the characters, and advancing the plot. The rhythm of the dialogue and the interactions between the characters contribute to the scene's effectiveness.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and clarity.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions, character interactions, and dialogue that advance the plot and develop the characters.

EXT. HARVARD SQUARE -- NIGHT

Will and Skylar on their first date. They watch a street
MAGICIAN doing tricks with a rabbit. The guy's tricks are pretty
good, but his on-stage persona could use some work. He is
incessantly repeating the phrase "this is the rabbit, the rabbit
really does the tricks." Will gives Skylar a look and they move
on.

CUT TO:

INT. TOY STORE -- LATER

Will and Skylar walk into the small shop.

SKYLAR
I don't know, it was just kind of the
boring suburban thing. Private school,
Harvard, and now Med. School.
(Beat)
I actually figured out that at the end
of it, my brain will be worth a quarter
of a million dollars. I shouldn't have
told you that...

WILL
I bet your parents were happy to pay.

SKYLAR
I was happy to pay. I inherited the
money.

WILL
Is Harvard gettin' all that money?

SKYLAR
Stanford. I'm leaving in June after I
graduate.

WILL
So you just want to use me and go?

SKYLAR
Well, I'm gonna experiment on you for my
anatomy class, then go.

WILL
In that case, fine.
(beat)
Want to see my magic trick?
SKYLAR
Sure.

Will, pulls out a bulging HANDFUL OF CARAMELS.

WILL
Now, I'm gonna make all these caramels
disappear.

SKYLAR
Okay...

Will goes into all manner of hocus-pocus theatrics. Then shakes
his hand wildly. The trick doesn't pan out and the caramels go
flying all over the store. Skylar laughs.

WILL
It works better when I have my rabbit.

CUT TO:

INT. LOCKOBER RESTAURANT -- NIGHT

Lambeau and Sean share a table at this exclusive restaurant.
Sean seems slightly out of place in his wrinkled sport coat.

LAMBEAU
I didn't see you at the reunion.

SEAN
I've been busy.

LAMBEAU
You were missed.
(beat)
How long has it been since we've seen
each other?

SEAN
Since Nancy died.

LAMBEAU
I'm sorry, that damn conference--

SEAN
I got your card.

INT. HARVARD SQ. DINER: "THE TASTY" -- NIGHT

A FRY COOK hands Will and Skylar a pair of CHEESEBURGERS.

SKYLAR
Have you ever seen Annie Hall?

WILL
No.
SKYLAR
Well, there's this part of the movie
that's about how there's always this
tension on a first date where both
people are thinking about what's going
to happen with the whole 'good night
kiss' thing.

Will smiles.

WILL
I really don't 'date' that much.

SKYLAR
(laughs)
You know what I mean. I know you've at
least thought about it.

WILL
No I haven't...

SKYLAR
Yes you have. You were thinking you were
gonna get a good night kiss.

WILL
(mock protest)
No I wasn't...

SKYLAR
Yes you were.

WILL
I was kinda' hopin' to get a "good night
laid" but...I'll take a kiss.

She laughs.

SKYLAR
Oh, you will?

WILL
No...I was hoping to get a kiss.

SKYLAR
Then why don't we just get it out of the
way.

He looks at her.

WILL
Now?

Both of them have cheeseburger in their mouths.

SKYLAR
Yeah.
They kiss, mouths full of burger. It's nice. A beat.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
That had to be the worst good night
kiss...

Will laughs.

WILL
Hey, look lady, I'm just here for the
free food.

She smiles.

SKYLAR
Free?

WILL
Hey, I spent all my money on those
caramels.

She laughs.

CUT TO:

Genres: Romantic Comedy, Drama
Tone: Playful, Light-hearted, Romantic

Summary In this scene, Will and Skylar go on their first date, watching a street magician and visiting a toy store before sharing a meal at a diner. They share a humorous and messy 'good night kiss' with cheeseburgers in their mouths. Meanwhile, Sean and Lambeau meet for the first time since Nancy's death at an exclusive restaurant, where they discuss their past and the loss of Nancy, beginning to reconnect after a long absence. The tone is light-hearted and playful between Will and Skylar, while Sean and Lambeau's conversation is more serious and reflective.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Chemistry between characters
Humorous moments

Weaknesses

Lack of significant conflict
Low stakes

General Critique

The scene starts with them watching a street magician but it's not clear why they're there or what they're doing. It would be helpful to establish their purpose and motivation.
The setting then shifts to a toy store where Skylar talks about her future plans. This is a bit of an abrupt transition and it's not clear why they're in a toy store.
The dialogue between Will and Skylar is a bit forced and unnatural. It doesn't flow smoothly and it's hard to believe that they're actually having a conversation.
The magic trick that Will tries to perform is a bit too silly and it doesn't really fit with the tone of the scene. It would be better to replace it with something more subtle and believable.
The ending of the scene is a bit anticlimactic. Will and Skylar kiss, but it's not a very passionate or romantic kiss. It would be better to build up to the kiss more and make it more meaningful.

General Suggestions

Start the scene with Will and Skylar walking and talking. This will help to establish their relationship and their purpose for being out together.
Have them stop at the toy store because Skylar wants to buy a gift for her niece or nephew. This will give them a reason to be in the store and it will also provide an opportunity for them to talk about their families.
Make the dialogue between Will and Skylar more natural and believable. Avoid using too much slang or technical jargon. Instead, focus on creating a conversation that flows smoothly and reveals their characters.
Replace the magic trick with something more subtle and believable. For example, have Will show Skylar a card trick or a coin trick.
Build up to the kiss more and make it more meaningful. For example, have Will and Skylar share a personal story or have them talk about their dreams for the future.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively captures the romantic and humorous dynamic between Will and Skylar, providing a light-hearted and engaging moment in the story.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a first date filled with playful banter, failed magic tricks, and a cheesy but endearing goodnight kiss is well-executed and adds depth to the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Will and Skylar's relationship develops, showcasing their chemistry and setting the stage for future interactions.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces fresh and humorous elements to a familiar first date scenario. The characters' dialogue feels authentic and relatable, adding to the originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 9

Will and Skylar's characters are well-developed, with their unique personalities shining through in their dialogue and interactions.

Character Changes: 6

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it does showcase the growing connection between Will and Skylar.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal is to impress Skylar and show his playful side. He wants to connect with her on a deeper level and make her laugh.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal is to have a successful first date with Skylar and make a good impression on her.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The scene lacks significant conflict, focusing more on the romantic and light-hearted interactions between the characters.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is subtle, adding a layer of tension and uncertainty to the characters' interactions.

High Stakes: 2

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on the romantic and light-hearted aspects of the story.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by developing the relationship between Will and Skylar, setting the stage for future interactions and conflicts.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' interactions and the humorous moments that keep the audience engaged.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' differing views on relationships and dating. Will is more casual and playful, while Skylar is more serious and intellectual.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes positive emotions and a sense of warmth, especially in the budding romance between Will and Skylar.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, playful, and realistic, effectively conveying the growing connection between Will and Skylar.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, playful interactions between the characters, and the development of their relationship.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing humor and emotion, keeping the audience engaged and interested in the characters' journey.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene transitions and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for a romantic comedy genre, with a mix of light-hearted moments and character development.

INT. LOCKOBER RESTAURANT -- SAME

Lambeau and Sean, having finished their meal. Lambeau has been
pitching Sean.

SEAN
I've been busy, Gerry. I got a full
schedule.

LAMBEAU
This kid's special, Sean. I've never
seen anything like him.

SEAN
Not much free time, Gerry.

LAMBEAU
Have you ever heard of a man named
Ramanujan?

Sean nods his head.

SEAN
Yeah.

LAMBEAU
He was alive over a hundred years ago.
He was Indian. Dots, not feathers...

Sean finishes the joke. Lambeau chuckles.
LAMBEAU (cont'd)
So this Ramanujan lived in a tiny hut in
India. No formal education, no access to
other works. But he came across an old
math book and from this basic text he
was able to extrapolate theories that
had baffled mathematicians for years.

SEAN
And he mailed it to Hardy--

LAMBEAU
--That's right, Sean. He mailed it to a
professor at Cambridge who immediately
recognized the brilliance in his work
and brought Ramanujan to England.

SEAN
Where he contracted pneumonia and died
at a young age--

LAMBEAU
They worked together for the remainder
of their lives, producing some of the
most exciting math theory ever done.
Ramanujan's genius was unparalleled,
Sean. This boy is like that. But he's
very defensive and I need someone who
can get through to him.

SEAN
Why me?

LAMBEAU
I need someone with your kind of
background.

SEAN
My kind of background?

LAMBEAU
You're from the same neighborhood. South
Boston.

SEAN
He's from Southie? How many people did
you try before you came to me?

LAMBEAU
(looks squarely at Sean)
Five.

Sean gives a slight, knowing smile.

SEAN
Who? Barry, Henry, Rick...

Lambeau nods.
SEAN
Not Rick? You didn't send him to Rick?

LAMBEAU
Just meet with the boy once a week.

SEAN
Can we do it at my office?

LAMBEAU
That would be fine.

The waiter comes with the CHECK. Each man reaches for it.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Sean, please.

SEAN
I got it.

LAMBEAU
It's on the college.

Sean relents.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama
Tone: Serious, Reflective, Informative

Summary In the late afternoon or evening, Lambeau and Sean meet at Lockober Restaurant to discuss the possibility of Sean tutoring a student. Sean is reluctant due to his busy schedule, but Lambeau tells him the story of Ramanujan, a mathematician who made significant contributions despite his lack of formal education. The tone is serious and intellectual, with a touch of humor. Eventually, Sean agrees to meet with the student once a week, and the scene ends with Lambeau expressing his gratitude.

Strengths

Well-developed characters
Informative dialogue
Reflective tone

Weaknesses

Lack of overt conflict
Moderate emotional impact

General Critique

The scene opens with Lambeau and Sean finishing their meal. This is a good way to start the scene, as it establishes the setting and the relationship between the two characters.
Lambeau immediately begins pitching Sean on the idea of tutoring Will Hunting. This is a bit too abrupt, and it would be more effective if Lambeau first took some time to catch up with Sean and ask about his life.
Lambeau's pitch is a bit too long and technical. It would be more effective if he focused on the most important points and made his case more succinctly.
Sean is initially reluctant to help Lambeau, but he eventually agrees to meet with Will once a week. This is a good way to end the scene, as it leaves the audience wondering what will happen when Sean and Will meet.
One potential problem with the scene is that it is very dialogue-heavy. This could make it difficult for the audience to follow the conversation and stay engaged.
The scene also lacks visual interest. There is not much action or movement, and the setting is not particularly interesting.

General Suggestions

Add a few more details about the setting and the relationship between Lambeau and Sean.
Have Lambeau take some time to catch up with Sean before he starts pitching him on the idea of tutoring Will Hunting.
Shorten and simplify Lambeau's pitch, and focus on the most important points.
Add some more visual interest to the scene, such as having Lambeau and Sean move around or interact with the environment.
Consider adding some humor to the scene to make it more engaging.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively sets up the premise of the story by introducing a key character dynamic and potential conflict, while also providing valuable background information on the genius mathematician. The serious tone and reflective nature of the conversation add depth to the narrative.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of a troubled genius from a disadvantaged background being mentored by someone from a similar neighborhood adds layers to the story. The importance of trust and background in connecting with such individuals is a key concept explored in this scene.

Plot: 8

The plot is advanced by introducing the mentorship relationship between Lambeau and Sean, as well as setting up the potential conflict between the troubled genius and his mentors. The scene lays the groundwork for future developments in the story.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on mentorship and talent, blending elements of academia with working-class struggles. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Lambeau and Sean are well-developed in this scene, with their backgrounds and motivations clearly established. The potential for character growth and conflict is evident, especially in the mentorship dynamic between the two.

Character Changes: 7

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, the groundwork is laid for potential growth and development in the characters of Lambeau and Sean. The mentorship relationship hints at future character arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to understand why he has been chosen for this particular task and to assess his own qualifications for the job. This reflects his deeper need for validation and recognition of his skills.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to agree to meet with the boy once a week and potentially mentor him. This reflects the immediate challenge of taking on a new responsibility and making a commitment.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

While there is not overt conflict in this scene, the potential for conflict is established through the contrasting backgrounds and motivations of the characters. The mentorship dynamic between Lambeau and Sean hints at future conflicts to come.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create conflict and uncertainty, but not overwhelming to the point of overshadowing the character dynamics.

High Stakes: 6

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on establishing character relationships and themes. However, the potential for high stakes is hinted at through the troubled genius character and the mentorship dynamic.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by introducing key concepts, characters, and themes that will drive the narrative. The mentorship dynamic between Lambeau and Sean sets the stage for future developments in the plot.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twist in the protagonist being chosen for a mentoring role and the revelation of the boy's unique abilities.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between natural talent and formal education. Lambeau believes in the innate genius of the boy, while Sean may question the value of traditional schooling.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The emotional impact of the scene is moderate, with a focus on setting up the premise and introducing key character dynamics. The reflective tone and informative dialogue add depth to the narrative.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is informative and reflective, providing valuable insights into the characters and the overarching themes of the story. The serious tone of the conversation adds depth to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic between the characters, the tension in their interactions, and the underlying mystery of the boy's talent.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing information gradually, keeping the audience engaged and interested.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue cues.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional format for character-driven dialogue scenes, with clear exchanges and a natural flow of conversation.

EXT. BUNKER HILL CAMPUS -- MORNING

Establishing shot of the red-brick campus. Planes land at nearby
Logan airport. Will walks up the steps.

CUT TO:

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Sean's office is comfortable. Books are stacked against the
wall. There is a PAINTING on the wall behind Sean. Sean is
seated behind a desk. Lambeau sits in a chair in the back of the
room, next to Tom. A long beat passes, they wait.

LAMBEAU
Any vulnerability he senses, he'll
exploit.

SEAN
I'll be okay.

LAMBEAU
It's a poker game with this young man.
Don't let him see what you've got.

Sean nods. Will walks in. Everyone stands to greet Will.
LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Hello, Will. Any trouble finding the
place?

WILL
No.

LAMBEAU
Will, this is Sean Maguire. Sean, Will
Hunting.

Sean and Will nod. An awkward moment as the four men stand.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Well, let's get started.

WILL
Yeah, let's let the healing begin.

Lambeau is slightly embarrassed. Sean smiles at Will's joke.

SEAN
Would you excuse us?

LAMBEAU
Tom.

SEAN
You too, Gerry.

Lambeau looks at Sean, surprised. Sean's stare is unwavering.
After an awkward moment, Lambeau goes, leaving Sean and Will
alone. Will doesn't look at Sean for more than a second. He
seems more interested in the room. There is a long silence as
Sean watches Will.

SEAN (cont'd)
Hello, Will. I'm Sean Maguire.

A smile crosses Will's face as he walks to his chair and sits.
He lights a cigarette. Sean continues to watch him. Finally-

SEAN (cont'd)
Where are you from in Southie?

WILL
Did you buy all these books retail, or
do you send away for like a "shrink kit"
that comes with all these volumes
included?

SEAN
Have you read all these books, Will?

WILL
Probably not.
SEAN
(indicating a shelf)
How about the ones on that shelf?

Will's eyes flicker up to the shelf for an instant.

WILL
Yeah, I read those.

SEAN
What did you think?

WILL
I'm not here for a fuckin' book report.
They're your books, why don't you read
'em?

SEAN
I did.

WILL
That must have taken you a long time.

SEAN
Yeah, it did take me a long time.

Sean says this with pride. His determined stare and confident
manner catch Will a bit off guard. Will rises from his chair and
goes to the shelf.

WILL
(looking at book)
"A History of the United States, Volume
I." If you want to read a real history
book, read Howard Zinn's "A People's
History of the United States." That book
will knock you on your ass.

SEAN
How about Noam Chomsky's "Manufacturing
Consent?"

WILL
You people baffle me. You spend all this
money on beautiful, fancy books-- and
they're the wrong fuckin' books.

SEAN
You think so?

WILL
Whatever blows your hair back.

Will returns to his chair. Pause.
SEAN
(indicating cigarette)
Guy your age shouldn't smoke so much.
Stunt your growth.

WILL
You're right. It really gets in the way
of my jazzercizing.

Sean does not seem at all affected by Will's attitude. He
remains behind the big desk with almost half a smile on his
face. Will is aware of Sean's confidence.

WILL (cont'd)
Do you lift?

SEAN
Yes, I do.

WILL
Nautilus?

SEAN
Free weights.

WILL
Oh yeah? Me too. What do you bench?

SEAN
285.

WILL
Oh.

Will gets up again and moves around his chair to Sean's
painting. It is a picture of an old sailboat in a tremendous
storm--by no means a masterpiece. Will studies it.

WILL (cont'd)
You paint this?

SEAN
Yeah. Do you paint?

WILL
No.

SEAN
Crayons?

WILL
This is a real piece of shit.

SEAN
Tell me what you really think.
WILL
Poor color composition, lousy use of
space. But that shit doesn't really
concern me.

SEAN
What does?

WILL
The color here, see how dark it is? It's
interesting.

SEAN
What is?

WILL
I think you're one step away from
cutting your ear off.

SEAN
Oh, "Starry Night" time, huh?

WILL
You ever heard the saying, "any port in
a storm?"

SEAN
Sure, how 'bout "still waters run deep"-
-

WILL
--Well, maybe that means you.

SEAN
Maybe what mea--

WILL
Maybe you were in the middle of a
storm, a big fuckin' storm-- the waves
were crashing over the bow, the
Goddamned mast was about to snap, and
you were crying for the harbor. So you
did what you had to do, to get out.
Maybe you became a psychologist.

SEAN
Maybe you should be a patient and sit
down.

WILL
Maybe you married the wrong woman.

SEAN
Watch your mouth.
WILL
That's it isn't it? You married the
wrong woman. She leave you? Was she
bangin' someone else?

Sean is walking slowly towards Will.

WILL (cont'd)
How are the seas now, D--

In a flash, Sean has Will by the throat. Will is helpless.

SEAN
If you ever disrespect my wife again...I
will end you.

WILL
Time's up.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Psychological Thriller
Tone: Intense, Confrontational, Emotional

Summary In the morning, at Bunker Hill Campus, Will Hunting meets his psychologist, Sean Maguire, for the first time. The scene takes place in Sean's office, filled with books, where Will shows off his knowledge of history and literature. A power struggle ensues, with Will challenging Sean's expertise, and Sean standing up to Will's disrespectful behavior. The conflict escalates when Will disrespects Sean's wife, leading to a physical confrontation. The scene ends with Sean physically confronting Will.

Strengths

Intense dialogue
Emotional depth
Character development

Weaknesses

Aggressive tone may be off-putting to some viewers

General Critique

The scene's opening establishes the setting and characters well, but the pacing could be improved by shortening some of the dialogue and action descriptions.
The characters of Sean and Will are well-established, and their personalities are clearly defined through their dialogue and actions. However, the other characters (Lambeau and Tom) are underdeveloped in this scene and don't contribute significantly to the narrative.
The conflict between Sean and Will is the primary focus of the scene, and it is effectively portrayed through their dialogue and actions. The tension between them is palpable and adds to the overall atmosphere.
The dialogue is natural and engaging, with a good balance of humor and seriousness. The characters' personalities are further revealed through their conversations, and the exchanges between Sean and Will are particularly effective in building tension.
The setting of Sean's office is well-described, and the details provided help to create a comfortable and welcoming atmosphere. The books and painting mentioned in the scene add depth to the character of Sean and provide opportunities for interaction between him and Will.

General Suggestions

Consider shortening some of the dialogue and action descriptions to improve the pacing of the scene.
Develop the characters of Lambeau and Tom further, either in this scene or in previous or subsequent scenes, to give them more significance in the narrative.
Maintain the tension and conflict between Sean and Will throughout the scene, and consider adding more layers to their relationship as the story progresses.
Ensure that the dialogue remains natural and engaging, and continue to balance humor and seriousness to keep the audience invested in the characters and their stories.
Explore the setting of Sean's office more deeply, using it as a tool to further reveal his character and to create opportunities for interaction between him and Will.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging and impactful, delving deep into the emotional and psychological aspects of the characters. The intense dialogue and confrontational tone keep the audience on edge, making it a standout moment in the screenplay.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of therapy and healing is central to the scene, exploring the complexities of human behavior and emotional struggles. The interaction between Will and Sean provides a deep insight into their characters and sets the stage for further development.

Plot: 8

The plot advances significantly as Will's character is further explored through his interactions with Sean. The scene sets up important dynamics and conflicts that will drive the narrative forward.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases originality through its fresh approach to intellectual debates and power struggles. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Will and Sean are well-developed and complex, with layers of emotions and motivations. Their interactions reveal deep-seated issues and conflicts, adding depth to the story.

Character Changes: 8

Both Will and Sean undergo significant emotional and psychological changes during the scene. Their interactions challenge their beliefs and perspectives, leading to personal growth and self-discovery.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal is to challenge authority and assert his own intelligence and beliefs. This reflects his fear of vulnerability and his desire to prove himself as a capable individual.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal is to navigate the power dynamics in the room and establish his presence as an equal. This reflects the immediate challenge of facing authority figures and asserting his own identity.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Will and Sean is intense and palpable, adding tension and drama to the scene. The emotional stakes are high, driving the character dynamics and narrative forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting beliefs, power struggles, and emotional confrontations. The audience is left uncertain of how the characters will resolve their conflicts, adding suspense and drama to the scene.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in the scene as Will confronts his past and inner demons through therapy. The emotional and psychological challenges he faces have a profound impact on his character development and the overall narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by establishing important character dynamics, conflicts, and themes. It sets the stage for further development and exploration of the characters' journeys.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected power shifts, emotional outbursts, and intellectual challenges. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the characters will react or resolve their conflicts.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between traditional authority and individualistic rebellion. Will challenges Sean's intellectual and artistic pursuits, questioning the value of conventional knowledge and expression.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a high emotional impact, delving deep into the inner struggles and conflicts of the characters. The intense dialogue and emotional depth resonate with the audience, creating a powerful and memorable moment.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue is sharp, intense, and emotionally charged, reflecting the inner turmoil and conflicts of the characters. It drives the scene forward and adds depth to the character dynamics.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its sharp dialogue, intellectual conflicts, and character dynamics. The tension and wit keep the audience invested in the characters' interactions and motivations.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension, revealing character dynamics, and advancing the plot. The rhythm and flow keep the audience engaged and interested in the unfolding events.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene descriptions, character actions, and dialogue formatting. The visual elements are well-presented and enhance the overall atmosphere.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear character introductions, conflict development, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness and engagement.

INT. HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS

Will walks out of Sean's office past Lambeau and Tom who are
sitting in the hallway.

WILL
At ease, gentlemen.

CUT TO:

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Sean stands behind his desk in his office, still very much on
edge. Lambeau walks in.

LAMBEAU
Five minutes, Sean. Are you okay?

A pause, Sean is staring at his painting.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
I'll understand if you don't want to
meet with him again.

SEAN
Thursday, four o'clock. Make sure the
kid is here.

CUT TO:

EXT. WONDERLAND RACETRACK -- DAY

Will and Skylar sit in the stands watching the dogs run. They ad
lib teasing one another about England, Ireland, and America.
SKYLAR
You grew up around here?

WILL
Not far from here, South Boston.

SKYLAR
How was that?

WILL
Pretty boring, I guess.

She smiles.

SKYLAR
I bet you have a great family.

WILL
You know, nothing special.

SKYLAR
You have a lot of brothers and sisters?

WILL
Do I have a lot of brothers and sisters?

SKYLAR
Yeah.

WILL
Well, Irish Catholic. What do you think?

SKYLAR
How many?

WILL
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

SKYLAR
What, five?

Will shakes his head.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
Seven?

Will shakes his head. Smiles.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
Come on.

WILL
I have twelve big brothers.

SKYLAR
Not a chance.
WILL
Yup, you're lookin' at lucky thirteen.

SKYLAR
Bullshit.

WILL
I swear to God.

SKYLAR
Your house must have been a zoo.

WILL
It was great. There was always someone
to play with, give you advice.

SKYLAR
Do you know all their names?

WILL
'Course I do, they're my brothers.

SKYLAR
Well...

WILL
Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey,
Davey, Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby,
Johnny, and Brian.

SKYLAR
(laughing)
Do you keep in touch with them?

WILL
All the time. We all live in Southie. I
live with three of them now.

Skylar smiles.

SKYLAR
I want to meet them.

WILL
We'll do that.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Romance
Tone: Intimate, Playful, Reflective

Summary In this scene, Will and Skylar head to the racetrack after leaving Sean's office. As they sit in the stands, Will shares about his large family, including the fact that he has 12 brothers. Skylar expresses her desire to meet them, and Will agrees to introduce her in the future. The tone is casual and friendly, with a touch of playfulness as they tease each other about their backgrounds. The scene transitions between an indoor hallway and the outdoor racetrack, taking place during the day.

Strengths

Authentic dialogue
Emotional depth
Character development

Weaknesses

Low conflict level
Relatively low stakes

General Critique null

General Suggestions

Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and believable.
Expand the scene to give us more time to get to know Will and Skylar and their relationship.
Add some conflict or tension to the scene to make it more interesting.
Give us more emotional connection to the characters by showing us their thoughts and feelings.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging, emotionally resonant, and provides insight into Will's background and relationships, making it a pivotal moment in the story.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of family, childhood memories, and personal connections is well-developed and adds depth to Will's character.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Will and Skylar's relationship deepens, setting the stage for future developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to exploring family dynamics and personal history through naturalistic dialogue and character interactions. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds to the originality.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Will and Skylar are well-rounded, with authentic interactions and emotional depth.

Character Changes: 7

Will's character undergoes a subtle change as he opens up about his family and childhood, showing a more vulnerable side.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to open up about his past and family life to Skylar. This reflects his deeper need for connection and understanding, as well as his fear of vulnerability.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to enjoy a day at the racetrack with Skylar. This reflects the immediate circumstances of their date and the challenges of opening up to someone new.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

There is a low level of conflict in this scene, focusing more on personal connection and introspection.

Opposition: 5

The opposition in the scene is minimal, with no significant obstacles or conflicts that create tension or uncertainty for the audience.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on personal connection and character development.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the relationship between Will and Skylar, setting the stage for future developments.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat predictable in terms of character interactions and outcomes, but the emotional depth and authenticity keep the audience invested.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the protagonist's past family life and his present relationship with Skylar. This challenges his beliefs about family, connection, and vulnerability.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes emotions of warmth, nostalgia, and hope, drawing the audience closer to the characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is natural, revealing, and showcases the growing connection between Will and Skylar.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the naturalistic dialogue, character dynamics, and emotional depth. The interactions between Will and Skylar draw the audience in and create a sense of connection.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by allowing for naturalistic dialogue exchanges, emotional beats, and character development. The rhythm enhances the engagement and emotional depth.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to its effectiveness.

INT. SEAN'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT

As we pan across Sean's small apartment, we find it strewn with
dirty clothes and the sink full of dishes. Although, if it
weren't for the clutter, the place would feel pretty bare. A
framed SPORTS ILLUSTRATED cover featuring a screaming Larry Bird
and entitled "CELTIC PRIDE" hangs on the wall. Sean sits at the
table next to another nearly empty bottle of BUSHMILL'S IRISH
WHISKEY. He is deep in thought.
CUT TO:

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Will strolls into the office. Sean is waiting there behind his
desk. He seems different. More calm. Will and Sean stare at each
other for a long moment.

WILL
You again. How the paintin' coming?

Sean stands up.

SEAN
Come with me.

CUT TO:

EXT. BOSTON COMMON -- MINUTES LATER

Sean and Will sit in the bleachers at the mostly empty park.
They look out over a small pond, in which a group of
schoolchildren on a field trip ride the famous Swan Boats.

WILL
So what's with this place? You have a
swan fetish? Is this something you'd
like to talk about?

SEAN
I was thinking about what you said to me
the other day, about my painting. I
stayed up half the night thinking about
it and then something occured to me and
I fell into a deep peaceful sleep and
haven't thought about you since. You
know what occurred to me?

WILL
No.

SEAN
You're just a boy. You don't have the
faintest idea what you're talking about.

WILL
Why thank you.

SEAN
You've never been out of Boston.

WILL
No.
SEAN
So if I asked you about art you could
give me the skinny on every art book
ever written...Michelangelo? You know a
lot about him I bet. Life's work,
criticisms, political aspirations. But
you couldn't tell me what it smells like
in the Sistine Chapel. You've never
stood there and looked up at that
beautiful ceiling. And if I asked you
about women I'm sure you could give me a
syllabus of your personal favorites, and
maybe you've been laid a few times too.
But you couldn't tell me how it feels to
wake up next to a woman and be truly
happy. If I asked you about war you
could refer me to a bevy of fictional
and non-fictional material, but you've
never been in one. You've never held
your best friend's head in your lap and
watched him draw his last breath,
looking to you for help. And if I asked
you about love I'd get a sonnet, but
you've never looked at a woman and been
truly vulnerable. Known that someone
could kill you with a look. That someone
could rescue you from grief. That God
had put an angel on Earth just for you.
And you wouldn't know how it felt to be
her angel. To have the love be there for
her forever. Through anything, through
cancer. You wouldn't know about sleeping
sitting up in a hospital room for two
months holding her hand and not leaving
because the doctors could see in your
eyes that the term "visiting hours"
didn't apply to you. And you wouldn't
know about real loss, because that only
occurs when you lose something you love
more than yourself, and you've never
dared to love anything that much. I look
at you and I don't see an intelligent
confident man, I don't see a peer, and I
don't see my equal. I see a boy. Nobody
could possibly understand you, right
Will? Yet you presume to know so much
about me because of a painting you saw.
You must know everything about me.
You're an orphan, right?

Will nods quietly.
SEAN (cont'd)
Do you think I would presume to know the
first thing about who you are because I
read "Oliver Twist?" And I don't buy the
argument that you don't want to be here,
because I think you like all the
attention you're getting. Personally, I
don't care. There's nothing you can tell
me that I can't read somewhere else.
Unless we talk about your life. But you
won't do that. Maybe you're afraid of
what you might say.

Sean stands,

SEAN (cont'd)
It's up to you.

And walks away.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama
Tone: Intense, Reflective, Confrontational

Summary Sean and Will have a tense and introspective conversation in Sean's office and later at Boston Common. Sean challenges Will's assumptions and beliefs about life by pointing out his lack of real-life experiences and vulnerability. The conflict is not fully resolved, and the scene ends with Sean walking away after the confrontation.

Strengths

Intense emotional depth
Powerful dialogue
Character development

Weaknesses

Potential lack of visual action
Heavy reliance on dialogue

General Critique

The scene is very long and dense, with a lot of dialogue. This can make it difficult for the reader to follow and can slow down the pace of the story.
The dialogue is very exposition-heavy. Sean spends a lot of time telling Will about his life and his experiences. This can be interesting information, but it can also be tedious for the reader.
The scene lacks a clear focus. It seems to be about Sean giving Will a life lesson, but it also includes a lot of other topics, such as Will's childhood and his relationship with Skylar.
The ending of the scene is abrupt. Sean simply stands up and walks away, leaving Will alone in the bleachers. This can be seen as a powerful moment, but it also leaves the reader hanging.
The overall tone of the scene is negative. Sean is very critical of Will, and he doesn't seem to have much hope for him. This can be discouraging for the reader and can make it difficult to connect with the characters.

General Suggestions

Shorten the scene and cut out some of the unnecessary dialogue. This will help the scene move faster and make it easier for the reader to follow.
Add more variety to the dialogue. Instead of having Sean simply lecture Will, have them have a conversation with each other. This will make the scene more engaging and will help the reader to get to know the characters better.
Give the scene a clearer focus. What is the main point that Sean is trying to make to Will? Once you know the focus of the scene, you can cut out any dialogue that doesn't support that focus.
Give the scene a more satisfying ending. Don't just have Sean walk away. Instead, have him and Will come to some kind of understanding, or have Will have a realization about himself.
Change the overall tone of the scene. Make it more positive and hopeful. This will make the scene more uplifting for the reader and will make it easier to connect with the characters.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is powerful and emotionally charged, delving into complex themes and character dynamics.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of exploring vulnerability, loss, and the search for connection is compelling and well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through the intense confrontation between the characters, revealing deeper layers of their personalities.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh perspective on the contrast between intellectual knowledge and lived experience, exploring the limitations of book knowledge in understanding life and relationships. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 10

The characters are well-developed and their emotional depth is effectively portrayed through their interactions.

Character Changes: 8

The characters undergo emotional changes and revelations during the scene, particularly in terms of vulnerability and self-awareness.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to challenge Will's assumptions about him and assert his own understanding of life and experience. Sean wants to show Will that true knowledge and wisdom come from lived experiences, not just book knowledge.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to confront Will and make him question his own beliefs and assumptions. Sean wants to challenge Will's perspective and make him see the limitations of his intellectual knowledge.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters is intense and emotionally charged, driving the scene forward.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Sean challenging Will's beliefs and assumptions, creating a sense of conflict and tension between the characters. The audience is left unsure of the outcome of their confrontation, adding depth and complexity to the scene.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high in terms of emotional vulnerability and self-discovery for the characters.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the emotional and psychological aspects of the characters.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional depth and complexity of the characters' interactions. The philosophical conflict and sharp dialogue keep the audience guessing about the outcome of the confrontation and the characters' emotional journey.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the contrast between intellectual knowledge and lived experience. Sean challenges Will's belief that book knowledge is sufficient for understanding life, while Will struggles to reconcile his intellectual understanding with Sean's emotional wisdom.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a high emotional impact, delving into deep emotional themes and character dynamics.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is powerful, intense, and reveals the inner thoughts and emotions of the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional and philosophical conflict between the characters, as well as the sharp dialogue and introspective monologues that reveal their inner thoughts and motivations. The scene keeps the audience invested in the characters' journey and the outcome of their confrontation.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and emotional depth through well-timed transitions between locations and character interactions. The rhythm of the dialogue and narrative direction keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' emotional journey.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions and character actions are well-defined, enhancing the reader's understanding of the setting and character dynamics.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and well-defined character interactions. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and emotional depth.

INT. CONSTRUCTION SITE -- DAY

Will and Chuckie doing demo at the site. They throw cinderblocks
out a window into a pile. They are filthy.

CUT TO:

EXT. SOUTH BOSTON STREET -- NIGHT

Rain pounds South Boston. Chuckie sits with the Cadillac
fidling, humming to the radio. Morgan and Billy sit in the back,
sharing a case of beer. Will is at a pay phone.

INT. SKYLAR'S ROOM -- NIGHT

SKYLAR
Hello?

Will hangs up and runs back to the car, soaked.

CHUCKIE
Who'd you call?

WILL
No one. I didn't have the number.

MORGAN
What are you, retarded? You went all the
way out there in the rain and you didn't
have the number?

WILL
No, it was your mother's 900 number. I
just ran out of quarters.
Laughter. Chuckie pulls away from the curb.

MORGAN
Why don't we get off mothers, I just got
off yours.

There is a long moment of silence in response to Morgan's
attempt at levity. Then laughter.

BILLY
You're a pretty funny guy. Here, have a
nickel.

Billy WHIPS his EMPTY BEER CAN off of Morgan's head.

MORGAN
Keep fuckin' with me. Watch what
happens.

BILLY
All right, then.

MORGAN
Watch what happens.

CUT TO:

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Will sits across from Sean completely silent and takes out a
pack of cigarettes.

SEAN
No smoking.

Will puts the cigarettes away. Sean stares at Will and
occaisionally at the clock. Sean continues to check the clock on
the wall. It is the only clock in the room and it is BEHIND
Will. Their hour is almost up.

CLOSE ON: WILL'S EYES INTERCUT WITH THE CLOCK.

He is counting seconds. As the second hand crosses the twelve,
Will stands up and walks out, leaving Sean alone.

INT. HALLWAY -- LATER

Lambeau and Sean walk down the hallway after the session.

LAMBEAU
What do you mean "he didn't talk?" You
sat there for an hour?
SEAN
No, he just sat there and counted the
seconds until the session was over. It
was pretty impressive, actually.

LAMBEAU
Why would he do that?

SEAN
To show me he doesn't have to talk to me
if he doesn't want to.

LAMBEAU
Oh, what is this? Some kind of staring
contest between two kids from the "old
neighborhood?"

SEAN
I won't talk first.

EXT. WILL'S APARTMENT -- EVENING

Chuckie drops Will off at his apartment, watches him [Will] walk
up the steps.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. WILL'S APARTMENT -- MORNING

Chuckie pulls up to the curb and walks up the steps to Will's
front door. After a beat, Will emerges. They get back in [the
car].

CUT TO:

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE -- DAY

Will and Chuckie at work. Chuckie shows Will how to be a man.

INT. L STREET BAR & GRILLE, SOUTH BOSTON -- NIGHT

The bar is a bit more crowded than usual. Will and Chuckie walk
back to their table, carrying beers. They pass a table of
GIRLS, local regulars getting just as bombed as the guys. These
girls are a little overdone. Too much make-up, too much
hairspray, and too much body for such tight outfits. One of the
girls, KRYSTYN, smiles at Will who seems subdued.

KRYSTYN
Hi, Will.

WILL
How you doin', Krystyn.
They pass the table of girls. Chuckie looks at one, ruefully.

CHUCKIE
I didn't get on Cathy last night.

WILL
Why not?

CHUCKIE
I don't know.

Chuckie turns back to one of the girls, calling out:

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
Cathy! Why didn't you give me none of
your twat last night?

A girl at the table, CATHY, holds up her PINKY FINGER and
smiles-- revealing a mouthful of MISSING TEETH.

CATHY
Fuck you and your Irish curse, Chuckie!

CHUCKIE
She's missin' teeth, Will.

Will nods, not really into it tonight.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
Plus, it's like, five to two Morgan ends
up marryin' her. There's only so many
times you can bang your friend's future
wife...

They get to the table. Will's heart just isn't in it.

WILL
I'm takin' off.

ALL
We're goin' late night.

WILL
I'm tired.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Sarcastic, Casual

Summary The scene opens with Will and Chuckie working at a construction site, followed by a nighttime car scene with Morgan, Billy, and Chuckie, where Morgan ridicules Will for not having a certain person's number. The scene concludes with Will sitting in silence during his therapy session with Sean, visibly counting the seconds until it ends.

Strengths

Authentic dialogue
Strong character dynamics
Humorous tone

Weaknesses

Lack of deep emotional impact
Limited character development

General Critique

The scene is too long and could be cut down to make it more impactful.
The dialogue is not very natural and could be improved to make it more believable.
The characters are not very well-developed and could be fleshed out to make them more interesting.
The pacing of the scene is slow and could be sped up to make it more engaging.
The ending of the scene is abrupt and could be rewritten to make it more satisfying.

General Suggestions

Cut the scene down to make it more impactful. Remove unnecessary dialogue and action.
Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and believable. Use contractions and slang to make the characters more relatable.
Flesh out the characters by giving them more backstory and motivation. This will make them more interesting and engaging.
Speed up the pacing of the scene by adding more action and conflict. This will keep the reader engaged.
Rewrite the ending of the scene to make it more satisfying. Give the reader a sense of closure.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively captures the dynamic between the characters, blending humor with underlying tensions and setting up potential conflicts.

Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of showcasing the everyday interactions and relationships of working-class friends in South Boston is engaging and relatable.

Plot: 7

The plot revolves around the characters' interactions at a bar and their banter, setting up potential conflicts and character dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on themes of friendship, loyalty, and self-discovery, with authentic character interactions and dialogue that feel genuine and relatable.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined and their personalities shine through in their dialogue and actions, creating a realistic and engaging dynamic.

Character Changes: 4

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, there are hints of potential growth and conflicts to come.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal is to navigate his relationships with his friends and his own sense of identity and purpose. He struggles with feeling disconnected from his surroundings and his own potential.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal is to find his place in the world and make meaningful connections with others. He is searching for a sense of belonging and purpose.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

There are hints of potential conflicts and tensions among the characters, adding depth to the scene.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and conflict, challenging the characters' beliefs and values and driving the narrative forward with uncertainty and tension.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on character interactions and humor.

Story Forward: 7

The scene sets up potential conflicts and dynamics among the characters, moving the story forward in terms of character relationships.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable due to the unexpected twists in character interactions and dialogue, keeping the audience on their toes and engaged in the unfolding drama.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The scene presents a conflict between authenticity and conformity, as Will grapples with societal expectations and his own desires for individuality and self-expression.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 5

The scene is more focused on humor and light-hearted banter rather than deep emotional moments.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and authentic to the setting, effectively conveying the relationships and personalities of the characters.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its authentic character interactions, humor, and relatable themes of friendship and self-discovery that draw the audience into the characters' world.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, with well-timed beats and moments of reflection that enhance the character dynamics and thematic resonance.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene adheres to standard formatting conventions for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability and flow.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for character-driven drama, with clear setups and payoffs that advance the narrative and develop the protagonist's journey.

INT. LAMBEAU'S OFFICE -- DAY

Will and Lambeau work together at the board. They communicate
non-verbally as they collaborate on a problem. After a
particularly amusing series of numbers, they share a look and
laugh.

CUT TO:
INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Will and Sean sit in silence. A long moment passes. Sean
casually reclines in his chair, disinterested. Will restlessly
looks around the room and then back to Sean. An odd half smile
crosses Sean's face. After a moment:

WILL
You know, I was on this plane once. And
I'm sittin' there and the captain comes
on and is like "we'll be cruising at
35,000 feet," and does his thing, then
he puts the mike down but forgets to
turn it off. Then he says "man, all I
want right now is a blow-job and a cup
of coffee." So the stewardess goes
runnin' up towards the cock-pit to tell
him the mike's still on, and this guy in
the back of the plane goes "don't forget
the coffee!"

SEAN
(smiles)
You've never been on a plane.

WILL
I know, but the joke's better if I tell
it in the first person.

A beat.

WILL (cont'd)
I have been laid you know.

Sean smiles.

SEAN
Yeah? You got a lady now?

WILL
Yeah, I went on a date last week.

SEAN
How'd it go?

WILL
Fine.

SEAN
Well, are you going out again?

WILL
I don't know.

SEAN
Why not?
WILL
Haven't called her.

SEAN
Jesus Christ, you are an amateur.

WILL
I know what I'm doing. She's different
from the other girls I met. We have a
really good time. She's smart,
beautiful, fun...

SEAN
So Christ, call her up.

WILL
Why? So I can realize she's not so
smart. That she's boring. You don't get
it. Right now she's perfect, I don't
want to ruin that.

SEAN
And right now you're perfect too. Maybe
you don't want to ruin that.

Will says nothing.

SEAN (cont'd)
Well, I think that's a great philosophy
Will, that way you can go through your
entire life without ever having to
really know anybody.

Sean looks directly at Will, who looks away. A beat.

SEAN (cont'd)
My wife used to turn the alarm clock off
in her sleep. I was late for work all
the time because in the middle of the
night she'd roll over and turn the damn
thing off. Eventually I got a second
clock and put it under my side of the
bed, but it got to where she was gettin'
to that one too. She was afraid of the
dark, so the closet light was on all
night. Thing kept me up half the night.
Eventually I'd fall asleep, out of sheer
exhaustion and not wake up when I was
supposed to cause she'd have already
gotten to my alarms.

Will smiles, Sean takes a beat.
SEAN (cont'd)
My wife's been dead two years, Will. And
when I think about her, those are the
things I think about most. Little
idiosyncrasies that only I knew about.
Those made her my wife. And she had the
goods on me too. Little things I do out
of habit. People call these things
imperfections Will. It's just who we
are. And we get to choose who we're
going to let into out weird little
worlds. You're not perfect. And let me
save you the suspense, this girl you met
isn't either. The question is, whether
or not you're perfect for each other.
You can know everything in the world,
but the only way you're findin' that one
out is by giving it a shot. You sure
won't get the answer from an old fucker
like me. And even if I did know, I
wouldn't tell you.

Will smiles. A beat.

WILL
Why not? You told me every other fuckin'
thing. You talk more than any shrink I
ever met.

Sean laughs.

SEAN
I teach this shit, I didn't say I knew
how to do it.

WILL
You ever think about gettin' remarried?

SEAN
My wife's dead.

WILL
Hence, the word remarried.

SEAN
My wife's dead.

WILL
Well I think that's a wonderful
philosophy, Sean. That way you can go
through the rest of your life without
having to really know anyone.

A beat. Sean smiles.

SEAN
Time's up.
CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Reflective, Humorous, Introspective

Summary In Sean's office, Will shares a humorous plane incident story, leading to Sean challenging his storytelling style. Will reveals his dating apprehension, and Sean lectures him on the importance of getting to know people, sharing a personal story about his late wife. The scene ends with laughter, as they bond over their shared experiences.

Strengths

Authentic dialogue
Emotional depth
Character development

Weaknesses

Low external conflict
Limited plot progression

General Critique

The scene is a well-written and engaging dialogue between Will and Sean, exploring themes of human connection, communication, and vulnerability. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved:
The beginning of the scene, where Will and Lambeau are working on a problem at the board and laughing, feels a bit disjointed from the rest of the scene, which has a more serious and introspective tone. It might be better to cut this part or find a way to integrate it more smoothly into the dialogue.
The use of the airplane joke by Will feels a bit out of character and doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the conversation. It's a funny joke, but it might be more effective to find a different way for Will to break the ice with Sean.
The dialogue could be more concise and focused at times. There are a few places where the characters repeat themselves or go off on tangents, which could be trimmed down to make the scene more impactful.
The ending of the scene, where Sean tells Will about his wife turning off his alarm clock and keeping the closet light on all night, is a bit too long and could be shortened to make the scene more impactful.

General Suggestions

Consider removing the opening part of the scene where Will and Lambeau are working on the problem and laughing, or find a way to integrate it more smoothly into the dialogue.
Replace the airplane joke with a different way for Will to break the ice with Sean, something that is more in character and fits with the tone of the scene.
Go through the dialogue and identify any places where the characters repeat themselves or go off on tangents, and trim these parts down to make the scene more concise and focused.
Shorten the ending of the scene, where Sean tells Will about his wife turning off his alarm clock and keeping the closet light on all night, to make the scene more impactful.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively balances humor and introspection, providing insight into the characters' emotional depth and growth. The dialogue is engaging and thought-provoking, creating a memorable and impactful moment.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of embracing imperfections and taking risks in relationships is central to the scene. It explores the complexities of human connection and the importance of vulnerability in forming meaningful bonds.

Plot: 8

While the plot primarily focuses on the characters' emotional dynamics and personal growth, it moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of the protagonists and their relationships.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on the theme of emotional intimacy and vulnerability. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable, adding depth to the narrative.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and multi-dimensional, with distinct personalities and emotional depth. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and growth, making them relatable and engaging.

Character Changes: 8

Both Will and Sean experience subtle shifts in their perspectives and attitudes towards relationships, with Will beginning to reconsider his approach to love and Sean reflecting on his past. These changes contribute to the characters' growth and development.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to confront his fear of vulnerability and intimacy. He struggles with opening up to others and forming meaningful connections.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to navigate his romantic relationship and decide whether to pursue it further. This reflects the immediate challenge of emotional intimacy and commitment.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is a subtle conflict between Will's reluctance to call Skylar and Sean's advice to take a chance in relationships, the scene primarily focuses on emotional tension and personal growth rather than external conflicts.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong, as the protagonist faces internal and external challenges that push him to confront his fears and insecurities.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on personal relationships and emotional growth rather than high-stakes conflicts or dramatic tension.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene primarily focuses on character development and emotional depth, it moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of the protagonists and setting the stage for future conflicts and resolutions.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and shifts in character dynamics. The audience is kept on their toes as the protagonist navigates his internal conflicts.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is between emotional vulnerability and self-preservation. The protagonist grapples with the idea of risking emotional pain for the possibility of deep connection.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to introspection, creating a poignant and memorable experience for the audience. The characters' vulnerability and growth resonate on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue is witty, poignant, and authentic, capturing the characters' emotions and inner conflicts effectively. It drives the scene forward, creating a compelling and engaging narrative.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue, emotional depth, and character interactions. The audience is drawn into the protagonist's internal struggle and relationship dynamics.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and emotional resonance. The dialogue flows naturally, allowing for moments of reflection and connection.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to standard screenplay conventions, making the scene easy to follow and visualize.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a dialogue-driven sequence, allowing for character development and thematic exploration.

EXT. SKYLAR'S DORM -- AFTERNOON

Will is waiting outside the door for someone to come out -- so
he can go in.

INT. SKYLAR'S DORM -- AFTERNOON

The door to Skylar's dorm is partially open. Will stands outside
while Skylar remains on the threshold.

SKYLAR
Where have you been?

WILL
I'm sorry, I been real busy.

SKYLAR
You were busy? You know, I really was
waiting for you to call me.

WILL
Sorry. I'm sorry. Give me another crack
at it. Let me take you out.

SKYLAR
You should have called. I have an "O-
chem" lab due tomorrow and it's
impossible.
(beat)
It's not an excuse dummy. I want to go
out with you. But look:

She holds up her Lab. Will glances at it.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
Tomorrow?

WILL
Promise?

SKYLAR
If you bring the caramels.

Will smiles.

CUT TO:

EXT. HARVARD SQUARE -- LATER

Will sits in an outdoor cafe, thinking. After a beat, he leans
over to two students working at a nearby table, borrows a pen
and paper and starts writing.
CUT TO:

EXT. SKYLAR'S DORM -- DAY

Will is a solitary figure strolling across the lawn. He stops at
Skylar's dorm and knocks on the door.

CUT TO:

INT. SKYLAR'S DORM -- DAY

She emarges. He hands her the paper he was working on. It is her
O-chem lab.

WILL
I couldn't wait till tomorrow.

SKYLAR
How the hell did you do that?

WILL
Didn't your mother ever tell you not to
look a gift horse n the mouth?

SKYLAR
I'm supposed to understand this.

WILL
You're not going into surgery tomorrow
are you?

SKYLAR
No.

WILL
Then let's go have some fun.

With a smile, she relents.

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Sean and Will in session.

SEAN
Really? How'd the date go?

WILL
Do you still counsel veterans?
(beat)
I read your book last night.

SEAN
No, I don't.
WILL
Why not?

SEAN
I gave that up when my wife got sick.

WILL
Is that why you didn't write anything
else?

SEAN
(smiles)
I didn't write anything else 'cause
nobody, including most of my colleagues
bothered to read the first one.

WILL
Well, I've read you colleagues. Your
book was good, Sean.
(beat)
All those guys were in your platoon?

SEAN
Yeah.

WILL
What happened to that guy from Kentucky?

SEAN
Lon? He got married. He has a kid. I
kind of lost touch with him after Nancy
got sick.

WILL
Do you ever wonder what your life would
be like if you never met your wife?

SEAN
What? Do I wonder if I'd be better off
if I never met my wife?

Will starts to clarify his question.

SEAN (cont'd)
No, that's okay. It's an important
question. 'Cause you'll have your bad
times, which wake you up to the good
stuff you weren't paying attention to.
And you can fail, as long as you're
trying hard. But there's nothing worse
than regret.

WILL
You don't regret meetin' your wife?
SEAN
Why? Because of the pain I feel now? I
have regrets Will, but I don't regret a
singel day I spent with her.

WILL
When did you know she was the one?

SEAN
October 21, 1975. Game six of the World
Series. Biggest game in Red Sox history,
Me and my friends slept out on the
sidewalk all night to get tickets. We
were sitting in a bar waiting for the
game to start and in walks this girl.
What a game that was. Tie game in the
bottom of the tenth inning, in steps
Carlton Fisk, hit a long fly ball down
the left field line. Thirty-five
thousand fans on their feet, screamin'
at the ball to stay fair. Fisk is
runnin' up the baseline, wavin' at the
ball like a madman. It hits the foul
pole, home run. Thirty-five thousand
people went crazy. And I wasn't one of
them.

WILL
Where were you?

SEAN
I was havin' a drink with my future
wife.

WILL
You missed Pudge Fisk's homerun to have
a drink with a woman you had never met?

SEAN
That's right.

WILL
So wait a minute. The Red Sox haven't
won a World Series since nineteen
eighteen, you slept out for tickets,
games gonna start in twenty minutes, in
walks a girl you never seen before, and
you give your ticket away?

SEAN
You should have seen this girl. She lit
up the room.

WILL
I don't care if Helen of Troy walked
into that bar! That's game six of the
World Series!
Sean smiles.

WILL (cont'd)
And what kind of friends are these? They
let you get away with that?

SEAN
I just slid my ticket across the table
and said "sorry fellas, I gotta go see
about a girl."

WILL
"I gotta go see about a girl"? What did
they say?

SEAN
They could see that I meant it.

WILL
You're kiddin' me.

SEAN
No Will, I'm not kiddin' you. If I had
gone to see that game I'd be in here
talkin' abouta girl I saw at a bar
twenty years ago. And how I always
regretted not goin' over there and
talkin' to her. I don't regret the
eighteen years we were married. I don't
regret givin' up couseling for six years
when she got sick. I don't regret being
by her side for the last two years when
things got real bad. And I sure as Hell
don't regret missing that damn game.

A beat. Will is impressed.

WILL
Would have been nice to catch that game
though.

SEAN
(breaking)
Well hell, I didn't know Pudge was gonna
hit the home run.

They laugh.

TIME DISSOLVE TO:

INT LAMBEAU'S OFFICE -- DAY

The office is more crowded than usual. TOM and THREE of
LAMBEAU'S COLLEAGUES including the esteemed ALEXANDER PEKEC are
in the room. Will sits at a work-station which projects a proof
of his [Will's] onto the chalkboard. Lambeau stands beside the
projected image at the board arguing with Pekec, a foreign
mathematician. The image is of a Ramses graph binary tree.

LAMBEAU
Alexander, I know your theory. The boy
is updating, he's strategy stealing...

PEKEC
With a Ramses graph on the binary tree--

LAMBEAU
--But what he's doing, he's attaching an
edge to the adjacent vertex. He can
always failsafe to either side--

PEKEC
Maker can. This is not new, Gerry!

Pekec starts writing lines beside Will's proof on the board.

PEKEC (cont'd)
--but I can always garbage out (writes
frantically) All the way to "N" to the
minus one.

LAMBEAU
No, there's a limit.

PEKEC
The limit is not found!
(turns to Will)
The limit is not found.

WILL
But I can always go to the other side.

PEKEC
There is no proof--

Lambeau can no longer contain himself.

LAMBEAU
--Maker builds "K" to the "N." N is
three to the K times--

PEKEC
--But--

WILL
Look, I wrote it down.

They turn to Will who places his proof on the projector. The
image is cast over their faces. It reads:

As Pekec reads and the realization dawns on him:

WILL (cont'd)
It's just simpler this way.
Lambeau turns with satisfaction to an understanding Pekec.

LAMBEAU
Alexander, your theory is changed.

CUT TO:

Genres: Romance, Drama
Tone: Reflective, Intimate, Nostalgic

Summary In this scene, Will reconciles with Skylar, takes interest in her lab work, and surprises her by completing it. They agree to go out the next day. Will then discusses regrets and relationships with Sean. Later, Will presents a mathematical proof to Lambeau and Pekec, resolving their conflict and changing Pekec's theory. The scene takes place in various locations, including Skylar's dorm, an outdoor cafe, Sean's office, and Lambeau's office. The conflicts revolve around missed opportunities, regrets, and mathematical theories, and are resolved through communication, understanding, and problem-solving skills. The tone is a mix of regret, reconciliation, intellectual challenge, and satisfaction.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Authentic dialogue
Character development

Weaknesses

Limited external conflict
Slow pacing in some parts

General Critique

The dialogue in this scene is very well-written and natural. It flows smoothly and the characters' voices are distinct and believable.
The scene is well-paced and the tension builds steadily throughout. The reader is kept engaged and guessing what is going to happen next.
The characters are well-developed and the reader can easily relate to their struggles and motivations.
The setting is well-described and the reader can easily visualize the scene taking place.
The theme of the scene is clear and it is explored in a thoughtful and nuanced way.
The scene is a good example of how to use dialogue to create tension and suspense.
The scene is a good example of how to use setting to create atmosphere.
The scene is a good example of how to use character development to create empathy.
The scene is a good example of how to use theme to create meaning.

General Suggestions

There are a few typos in the scene. For example, "Mathematician" should be "mathematician" and "maker" should be "Maker".
The scene could be improved by adding more details to the setting. For example, what does Skylar's dorm look like? What is the weather like outside?
The scene could be improved by adding more backstory to the characters. For example, how did Will and Skylar meet? What is Will's relationship with his friends?
The scene could be improved by adding more conflict. For example, Will could have to choose between going out with Skylar and working on a project with his friends.
The scene could be improved by adding more resolution. For example, Will and Skylar could decide to go out on a date or Will could decide to work on his project with his friends.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is emotionally impactful, well-written, and provides significant character development and depth.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of seizing opportunities, reflecting on past decisions, and the importance of relationships is effectively portrayed.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses through the emotional connection between Will and Sean, revealing more about their characters and past experiences.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on romantic relationships and personal growth, with authentic dialogue and relatable character dynamics. The writer's original voice shines through in the unique interactions and emotional depth of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Will and Sean are well-developed, with complex emotions and motivations driving their interactions.

Character Changes: 8

Both Will and Sean experience personal growth and reflection during the scene, leading to a deeper understanding of themselves and each other.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal is to connect with Skylar on a deeper level and show her that he cares about her. This reflects his desire for meaningful relationships and his fear of rejection.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal is to impress Skylar by helping her with her O-chem lab and showing her that he is thoughtful and caring.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

The conflict is more internal and emotional rather than external, focusing on personal struggles and regrets.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene adds complexity and conflict to the character interactions, creating tension and emotional depth.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are more emotional and personal, focusing on the characters' inner struggles and relationships.

Story Forward: 7

While the scene doesn't significantly advance the main plot, it deepens the relationship between Will and Sean and adds layers to their characters.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in character interactions and emotional revelations. The audience is kept on their toes by the evolving relationships and conflicts.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the importance of relationships and personal connections over material success or achievements. Will's actions and dialogue challenge the idea that success is solely based on academic or professional accomplishments.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions and creates a deep connection with the characters and their experiences.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is engaging, authentic, and reveals the inner thoughts and feelings of the characters effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, emotional depth, and relatable character interactions. The dialogue and character dynamics keep the audience invested in the story.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional depth, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the characters' interactions.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting for its genre, with clear scene transitions and character actions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for character interactions and dialogue, effectively building tension and emotional depth.

INT. SKYLAR'S ROOM -- NIGHT

Will and Skylar in her room, post coital. They are wrapped in a
sheet. Will is absent-mindedly playing the memory game SIMON.
The pattern grows increasingly complex. After a beat:

SKYLAR
Why do we always stay here?

WILL
'Cause it's nicer than my place.

SKYLAR
I've never seen your place.

WILL
Exactly.

SKYLAR
What about your friends? Or your
brothers? When do I get to meet them?

WILL
They don't come over here that much.

SKYLAR
I think I can make it to South Boston.

WILL
Aah, it's kind of a hike.

SKYLAR
Is it me you're hiding from them or the
other way around?

WILL
All right, all right. We'll go.

SKYLAR
When?

WILL
Sometime. I don't know. Next week.

SKYLAR
What if I said I wouldn't sleep with you
again until you let me meet your
friends?
WILL
I'd say...
(reaches for phone)
It's only four in the mornin', they're
prob'ly up.

She laughs. Stops him.

SKYLAR
You men are shameful. If you're not
thinking of your weiner then you're
acting on its behalf.

WILL
Then on behalf of my weiner, I'd like to
ask for an advance.

CUT TO:

INT. L STREET BAR & GRILLE -- LATER

Skylar and Will sit together along with Will's gang. The boys
are considerably drunk, but it makes for good entertainment.
Everyone here is having fun including Sylar.

MORGAN
Will, I can't believe you brought Skylar
here when we're all wrecked. What's she
gonna think about us?

WILL
Yeah, Morgan. It's a real rarity that
we'd be out drinkin'.

BILLY
I've been shit faced for like two weeks.

MORGAN
Oh great, tell her that! Now she really
thinks we're problem drinkers!

CHUCKIE
Two weeks? That's nothin'. My Uncle
Marty? Will knows him. That guy fuckin'
drinks like you've never seen! One night
he was drivin' back to his house on I-
93-- Statie pulls him over.

ALL
Oh shit.
CHUCKIE
Guy's tryin' to walk the line--but he
can't even fuckin' stand up, and so my
uncle's gonna spend a night in jail.
Just then there's this fuckin' BOOM like
fifty yards down the road. Some guy's
car hit a tree.

MORGAN
Some other guy?

CHUCKIE
Yeah, he was probably drunker than my
Uncle, who fuckin' knows? So the cop
goes "Stay here" And he goes runnin'
down the highway to deal with the other
crash. So, my Uncle Marty's standin' on
the side of the road for a little while,
and he's so fuckin' lit, that he forgets
what he's waitin' for. So he goes, "Fuck
it." He gets in his car and drives home.

MORGAN
Holy shit.

CHUCKIE
So in the morning, there's a knock on
the door it's the Statie. So my Uncle's
like, "Is there a problem?" And the
Statie's like "I pulled you over and you
took off." And my Uncle's like "I never
seen you before in my life, I been home
all night with my kids." And Statie's
like "Let me get in your garage!" So
he's like "All right, fine." He takes
around the garage and opens the door --
and the Statie's cruiser is in my
Uncle's garage.

ALL
No way! You're kiddin'!

CHUCKIE
No, he was so hammered that he drove the
police cruiser home. Fuckin' lights and
everything!

MORGAN
Did your Uncle get arrested?

CHUCKIE
The fuckin' Trooper was so embarrassed
he didn't do anything. The fuckin' guy
had been drivin' around in my Uncle's
car all night lookin' for the house.

Everyone is laughing. Skylar speaks above the din.
SKYLAR
There was this Irish guy, walking down
the beach one day.

She has everyone's attention. Will is nervous.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
And he comes across a bottle, and this
Genie pops out. The genie turns to the
Irishman and says-- "You've released me
from my prison, so I'll grant you three
wishes." The Irish guy thinks for a
minute and says "What I really want is a
pint of Guiness that never empties."
And--POOF! A bottle appears. He slams it
down, and-- lo and behold-- it fills
back up again.

C/U of Will. Hoping the joke pans out.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
Well, the Irish guy can't believe it. He
drinks it again, and again-- BOOM! It
fills back up. So, while the Irish guy
is marveling at his good fortune, The
Genie is getting impatient, because it's
hot and he wants to get on with his
freedom. He says "Let's go, you have two
more wishes." The Irish guy slams his
drink again, it fills back up, he's
still amazed. The Genie can't take it
anymore. He says "Buddy, I'm boiling out
here. What are your other two wishes?"
(beat)
The Irish guy looks at his drink, looks
at the Genie and says... "I guess I'll
have two more of these."

The gang erupts with laughter.

CHUCKIE
It's a good thing no one's Irish here.

MORGAN
I'm Irish.

Chuckie, Will look at Morgan, baffled.

Genres: Drama, Romance, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Light-hearted, Playful

Summary Will and Skylar share an intimate moment in Skylar's room before heading to a bar in South Boston with Will's friends. At the bar, Skylar fits in well with the group, sharing a humorous story and laughing along with everyone else. However, a conflict arises when Skylar wants to meet Will's friends and family, but Will is hesitant. Despite this tension, the group has a great time at the bar, with the tone remaining light-hearted and humorous.

Strengths

Humorous dialogue
Authentic character interactions
Engaging and entertaining atmosphere

Weaknesses

Limited focus on high-stakes conflict
Some characters overshadowed by others in terms of development

General Critique

The scene's dialogue is witty and engaging, creating a fun and lively atmosphere. However, the scene could benefit from a stronger emotional connection between Will and Skylar, as their relationship seems to be more about physical intimacy than emotional depth.
The transition between the two settings (Skylar's room and the bar) is a bit abrupt. Consider adding a brief transition to smooth out the pacing and make the scene feel more cohesive.

General Suggestions

Develop the emotional connection between Will and Skylar by adding a moment of vulnerability or genuine conversation about their feelings for each other.
Add a brief transition between the two settings, such as a line of dialogue or an action that indicates the passage of time or a change in location.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively balances humor, romance, and character dynamics, creating an engaging and enjoyable atmosphere for the audience.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of showcasing the characters' interactions in a casual setting while exploring themes of friendship, romance, and personal history is well-executed.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses through the characters' interactions and conversations, revealing more about their personalities and relationships.

Originality: 8

The scene demonstrates a level of originality through its blend of intimate moments, comedic storytelling, and authentic character interactions. The dialogue feels natural and relatable, adding authenticity to the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, each with distinct personalities and dynamics that contribute to the scene's humor and emotional depth.

Character Changes: 6

While there are subtle shifts in the characters' dynamics and relationships, the scene primarily focuses on showcasing their personalities and interactions.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal in this scene is to navigate his relationships with Skylar and his friends while balancing his desire for intimacy and his fear of vulnerability. He wants to maintain his tough exterior while also opening up to Skylar and integrating her into his social circle.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal in this scene is to introduce Skylar to his friends and navigate the dynamics of their interactions. He wants to show Skylar a different side of his life and integrate her into his social circle.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

While there is some light conflict and tension in the scene, it primarily focuses on humor and camaraderie among the characters.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with some tension between Will and his friends regarding Skylar's presence. The audience is unsure of how the interactions will unfold, adding a layer of unpredictability to the scene.

High Stakes: 3

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on character dynamics and humor rather than intense conflict or high drama.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the characters' relationships and providing insight into their backgrounds and motivations.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the storytelling and the dynamic interactions between the characters. The humor and vulnerability add layers of complexity to the scene, keeping the audience engaged.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between vulnerability and bravado. Will struggles with opening up to Skylar and his friends while maintaining his tough persona. This challenges his beliefs about masculinity and relationships.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to affection, creating a heartfelt and engaging atmosphere for the audience.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is witty, engaging, and reflective of the characters' relationships and personalities, adding depth and humor to the scene.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its blend of humor, intimacy, and camaraderie. The witty banter and storytelling captivate the audience, while the characters' interactions feel authentic and relatable.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing intimate moments with lively interactions, creating a dynamic and engaging rhythm. The transitions between scenes are smooth, maintaining the audience's interest.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions. The visual elements are effectively conveyed through the formatting.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, transitioning smoothly between intimate moments in Skylar's room and lively interactions at the bar. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.

EXT. L STREET BAR & GRILLE -- LATER

Everyone is walking out, saying good-bye. Chuckie goes over to
Will and Skylar.

CHUCKIE
I'm glad you came by, changed my opinion
of Harvard people.
SKYLAR
See ya' Chuckie. I had fun.

Chuckie heads towards Will to say goodnight.

WILL
I don't know what the fuck you're doin'.
You're givin' us a ride.

CHUCKIE
What do I look like, Al Cowlins?
(seriously)
You want to take my car, drop her off?

WILL
I was countin' on it.

MORGAN
Chuck, let's go.

CHUCKIE
You're walkin' bitch, Will's takin' the
car.

Morgan mumbles something and staggers off. Billy follows with an
indifferent shrug.

WILL
Thanks, Chuck.

CHUCKIE
Don't get too slap-happy, you're takin'
me home first.

WILL
I don't know, Chuck. It's kinda outta
the way.

CHUCKIE
Just 'cause you don't have to sleep in
the one room palace, don't start
thinkin' you're bad.

SKYLAR
(to Will)
I thought you said you'd show me your
place.

WILL
Not tonight.

CHUCKIE
Yeah, not tonight. Not any other night.
He knows, once you see that shit-hole
he's gettin' dropped like a bad habit.

SKYLAR
I wanted to meet your brothers...
Chuckie gives Will a curious look.

WILL
They're all sleepin' now.
(a beat, to Chuckie)
Let me get those keys.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Romance, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Intimate, Casual

Summary The scene takes place outside the L Street Bar & Grille and involves Chuckie offering Will and Skylar a ride home, which is initially declined but then accepted. There is a minor conflict resolved when Will takes charge by taking Chuckie's car keys. The tone is lighthearted and friendly, with a hint of playful banter between Chuckie and Will. The scene ends with Will taking Chuckie's car keys and them all leaving together.

Strengths

Engaging character interactions
Witty dialogue
Humorous moments

Weaknesses

Minimal conflict
Relatively low stakes

General Critique

The dialogue doesn't sound authentic. It's stilted and unnatural, and doesn't capture the rhythms of real speech.
The scene is full of clichés and stereotypes. The characters are one-dimensional and lack depth.
The pacing is off. The scene starts slowly and then rushes through the ending.
The scene doesn't advance the plot or develop the characters.

General Suggestions

Rewrite the dialogue so that it sounds more authentic.
Develop the characters more by giving them depth and complexity.
Rephrase the plot so that it advances the story.
Rewrite the ending so that it's more satisfying.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively balances humor, intimacy, and character development, making it engaging and entertaining.

Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of exploring relationships, personal backgrounds, and humor in a casual setting is well-executed.

Plot: 7

The plot progresses through character interactions and revelations, adding depth to the story.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on familiar themes of friendship, identity, and social class. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, contributing to the overall originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 8

The characters are well-developed, with distinct personalities and engaging dialogue.

Character Changes: 7

There are subtle changes in the characters' dynamics and relationships, adding depth to their development.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal in this scene is to maintain his tough and independent image while also showing vulnerability and connection with Skylar. This reflects his fear of being seen as weak or inadequate, as well as his desire for genuine human connection.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal is to get a ride home from Chuckie and impress Skylar with his independence and charm.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

The conflict is minimal, focusing more on character dynamics and personal revelations.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, but not overwhelming. The characters face obstacles and challenges that test their relationships and goals.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on character interactions and personal revelations.

Story Forward: 6

The scene provides insights into the characters and their relationships, moving the story forward through personal revelations.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' shifting dynamics and conflicting goals. The audience is unsure of how the interactions will unfold, adding suspense and intrigue to the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' perceptions of success, loyalty, and self-worth. Chuckie challenges Will's sense of pride and identity, while Skylar represents a different social and intellectual background that Will is drawn to.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 6

The scene has moments of emotional depth but is primarily light-hearted and humorous.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reveals insights into the characters' personalities.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its dynamic character interactions, humor, and underlying tension. The dialogue and actions keep the audience invested in the characters' relationships and conflicts.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and character moments that maintain the audience's interest and drive the narrative forward.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings, dialogue, and action descriptions that enhance readability and visual storytelling.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a clear structure with well-defined character interactions and conflicts. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the scene's effectiveness and emotional impact.

INT. FACULTY CLUB -- NIGHT

A cocktail party is underway. Professors mingle with
representatives from high tech companies. Lambeau stands holding
a drink and surrounded by several RECRUITERS. Apparently he's
the star of the show.

RECRUITER #1
What I want to know, Gerry, is when we
get to meet this wonder-boy.

LAMBEAU
We're still working together, the boy's
a little rough.

RECRUITER #2
We've got our share of eccentric
geniuses at Tri-tech. We know how to
deal with that.

RECRUITER #3
I think we all do.

Laughter.

RECRUITER #1
If you're not exaggerating, Gerry--

LAMBEAU
Was I exaggerating in nineteen eighty-
four when I told you I'd win the Field's
medal within two years?

More laughter.

RECRUITER #1
In that case the boy could run shipping
for us, routing--

RECRUITER #2
You say he doesn't have a diploma, but
we'll—

RECRUITER #1
I don't need to see a driver's license.
I can think of three departments right
now that he could head up for us.
LAMBEAU
At ease, gentlemen. We're looking
carefully at all our options.

RECRUITER #3
All right, Gerry. Close to the vest.
(gives him his card)
Good luck with these vultures.

He walks off.

CUT TO:

INT. TIMMY'S TAP -- DAY

Timmy's Tap is a local watering hole, not unlike the L Street
Bar. Sean is at the bar, telling a joke to TIMMY (45) the owner
of the place, and several other REGULARS.

SEAN
So she goes runnin' up the aisle and I
figure "fuck it" and I yell out "don't
forget the coffee!

The men erupt in laughter. MARTY, one of the regulars pipe up.

MARTY
Bullshit! You didn't say that!

Timmy and Sean exchange a look.

TIMMY
Jesus Christ, Marty. It's a joke.

Lambeau enters, a bit overdressed in his sport coat and tie.

SEAN
Gerry! Any trouble finding the place?

LAMBEAU
Not at all.

SEAN
Timmy this is Gerry, an old friend of
mine. We went to college together.

TIMMY
Good to meet you.

LAMBEAU
Pleasure to meet you.

SEAN
Could we get a couple of sandwhiches?
(beat, smiles)
Put it on my tab.
Sean heads towards a table.

TIMMY
You ever plan on payin' your tab?

SEAN
(pulls out lottery ticket)
I got the winning numbers right here.

TIMMY
What's the jackpot?

SEAN
Twelve million.

TIMMY
I don't think that'll cover it.

Lambeau follows [Sean]. They sit.

LAMBEAU
You're here quite a bit, then.

SEAN
I live right around the corner.

LAMBEAU
You moved?

SEAN
I been here a couple years.

There is an awkward moment.

SEAN (cont'd)
You wanted to talk about Will?

LAMBEAU
Seems like it's going well.

SEAN
I think so.

LAMBEAU
Well, have you talked to him at all
about his future?

SEAN
We haven't really gotten into it.

LAMBEAU
Maybe you should. My phone's been
ringing off the hook with job offers.

SEAN
Jobs doing what?
LAMBEAU
Cutting edge mathematics. Think tanks.
The kind of place where a mind like
Will's is given free reign.

SEAN
That's great, Gerry, that there's interest-- But I'm not sure he's ready for
that.

LAMBEAU
Sean, I really don't think you
understand--

SEAN
What don't I understand?

Timmy comes over with the sandwhiches.

SEAN (cont'd)
Thanks, Timmy.

LAMBEAU
Excuse me, Timmy. Could you help us?
We're trying to settle a bet.

TIMMY
Uh-oh.

LAMBEAU
Have you heard of Jonas Salk?

TIMMY
Yeah, cured polio.

LAMBEAU
You've heard of Albert Einstein?

Timmy smiles. Gives him a look.

LAMBEAU
How about Gerald Lambeau? Ever heard of
him?

TIMMY
No.

LAMBEAU
Okay thank you, Timmy.

TIMMY
So who won the bet?

LAMBEAU
I did.

A beat. Timmy leaves.
LAMBEAU
This isn't about me. I'm nothing
compared to this young man.
(beat)
Sean, in 1905 there were hundreds of
Professors who were renowned for their
study of the universe. But it was a 26-
year-old Swiss Patent clerk, doing
physics in his spare time, who changed
the world, Sean. Can you imagine if
Einstein had given that up? Or gotten
drunk with his buddies in Vienna every
night? All of us would have lost
something. And I'm quite sure Timmy
never would have heard of him.

SEAN
Isn't that a little dramatic, Gerry?

LAMBEAU
No, Sean. This boy has that gift. He
just hasn't got the direction. We can
give that to him.

A beat.

SEAN
He married his cousin.

LAMBEAU
Who?

SEAN
Einstein. Had two marriages, both train-
wrecks. The guy never saw his kids, one
of whom, I think, ended up in an asylum-
-

--possible Unabomber addition--

LAMBEAU
You see, Sean? That's exactly not the
point. No one remembers that. They--

SEAN
I do.

LAMBEAU
Well, you're the only one.

Beat.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
This boy can make contributions to the
world. We can help him do that.

SEAN
Just...take it easy, Gerry.
LAMBEAU
Look, I don't know what else I can say.
I'm not sitting at home every night,
twisting my mustache and hatching a plan
to ruin the boy's life. But it's
important to start early. I was doing
advanced mathematics at eighteen and it
still took me twenty-three years to do
something worthy of a Field's medal.

SEAN
Maybe he doesn't care about that.

A beat.

LAMBEAU
Sean, this is important. And it's above
personal rivalry--

SEAN
Now wait a minute, Gerry--

LAMBEAU
--No, no you hear me out, Sean. This
young man is a true prodigy--

SEAN
--Personal rivalry? I'm not getting back
at you.

LAMBEAU
Look, you took one road and I took
another. That's fine.

SEAN
Is it Gerry? 'Cause I don't think it's
fine with you. Give him time to figure
out what he wants.

LAMBEAU
That's a wonderful theory, Sean. It
worked wonders for you.

A beat. Lambeau gets up.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Sean, I came here today out of courtesy.
I wanted to keep you in the loop. As we
speak the boy is in a meeting I set up
for him over at Tri-tech.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama
Tone: Serious, Argumentative, Reflective

Summary In this scene, set in a faculty club cocktail party and Timmy's Tap, Lambeau, a professor and prodigy expert, and Sean, a bar owner and old college friend, discuss Will's future. Lambeau, eager to place Will in high-level job opportunities, is surrounded by recruiters at the faculty club. Meanwhile, Sean, who wants Will to take it easy and figure out what he wants, tells a joke and laughs with the men at Timmy's Tap. Timmy serves them sandwiches as Lambeau enters, overdressed. The two men engage in a conflict over Will's future, with Lambeau comparing himself to Einstein and Salk, and Sean countering with Einstein's personal life flaws. The scene ends with Lambeau revealing that Will is in a meeting he set up for him over at Tri-tech.

Strengths

Strong dialogue
Intense conflict
Character depth

Weaknesses

Some repetitive arguments
Lack of resolution

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear purpose and direction. It is not clear what the characters are trying to achieve or what the stakes are.
The dialogue is stilted and unnatural.
The characters are not well-developed and their motivations are unclear.
The scene is too long and could be cut down to make it more concise.
The scene does not advance the plot of the screenplay.

General Suggestions

Give the scene a clear purpose and direction. What do the characters want to achieve? What are the stakes?
Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and believable.
Develop the characters more fully. Give them clear motivations and goals.
Cut the scene down to make it more concise. Remove any unnecessary dialogue or action.
Consider how the scene advances the plot of the screenplay. If it does not, consider cutting it or rewriting it.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is engaging and thought-provoking, with strong dialogue and character dynamics.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of nurturing talent and the debate between ambition and personal growth are well-developed and drive the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through the discussion of the young man's future and the conflicting opinions on how to guide him.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the mentorship dynamic, exploring the tension between early intervention and personal autonomy in a high-stakes academic and professional setting.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined and their conflicting personalities create tension and depth in the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Both characters undergo some change in their perspectives and understanding of each other during the debate.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to protect and guide the young prodigy, Will, while also asserting his own expertise and authority in the field of mathematics.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to convince Sean to support his efforts to mentor and guide Will towards a successful career in mathematics.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between the characters is intense and drives the emotional tension in the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting values and goals driving the conflict between the characters.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as the characters debate the future of a gifted young man and his potential impact on the world.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by setting up the conflict and stakes for the future decisions regarding the young man.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting power dynamics and moral ambiguity that drive the conflict between the characters.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict revolves around the value of early intervention and guidance in nurturing talent versus allowing individuals to find their own path and make their own choices.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The emotional impact is high due to the personal stakes involved in the debate about the young man's future.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue is sharp, impactful, and drives the conflict between the characters effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the high-stakes conflict, sharp dialogue, and moral dilemmas that drive the interaction between the characters.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and conflict, allowing the characters' motivations and goals to unfold gradually.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows standard formatting conventions for its genre, effectively conveying the dialogue and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for character-driven dialogue scenes, effectively building tension and conflict between the characters.

INT. TRI-TECH LABORATORIES, OFFICE -- SAME

Three well dressed TRI-TECH EXECUTIVES sit around a conference
table, which is littered with promotional brochures. The
executives exchange a confused look. One of them speaks.

EXECUTIVE
(tentative)
Well, Will, I'm not exactly sure what
you mean, we've already offered you a
position..

Cut to reveal: Chuckie sitting across from the executives, hair
combed down, wearing his Sunday best.

CHUCKIE
Since this is obviously not my first
time in such altercations, let me say
this:

Chuckie rubs the tips of his fingers together, indicating
"cash." The executives are baffled.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
Look, we can do this the easy way or the
hard way.

The executives are completely blank.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
At the current time I am looking at a
number of different fields from which to
disseminate which offer is most pursuant
aid to my benefit.
(a beat)
What do you want? What do I want? What
does anybody want? Leniency.

EXECUTIVE
I'm not sure--

CHUCKIE
--These circumstances are mitigated.
Right now. They're mitigated.

Chuckie puts his hands up, as if getting a vibe from the room.

EXECUTIVE
Okay...

Chuckie points to the third executive.

CHUCKIE
He knows what I'm talking about.

The third executive is baffled.
CHUCKIE (cont'd)
A retainer. Nobody in this town works
without a retainer. You think you can
find someone who does, you have my
blessin'. But I think we all know that
person isn't going to represent you as
well as I can.

EXECUTIVE
Will, our offer starts you at eighty-
four thousand a year, plus benefits.

CHUCKIE
Retainer...

EXECUTIVE
You want us to give you cash right now?

CHUCKIE
Allegedly, what I am saying is your
situation will be concurrently improved
if I had two hundred sheets in my pocket
right now.

The executives exchange looks and go for their wallets.

EXECUTIVE
I don't think I...Larry?

EXECUTIVE
I have about seventy-three...

EXECUTIVE
Will you take a check?

CHUCKIE
Come now...what do you think I am, a
juvinile? You don't got any money on you
right now. You think I'm gonna take a
check?

EXECUTIVE
It's fine, John, I can cover the rest.

CHUCKIE
That's right, you know.
(turns to #1)
He knows.

Chuckie stands up and takes the money.
CHUCKIE (cont'd)
(to exec #1)
You're suspect. I don't know what your
reputation is, but after the shit you
tried to pull today, you can bet I'll be
looking into it. Any conversations you
want to have with me heretofore, you can
have with my attourney. Gentlemen, keep
your ears to the grindstone.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Confident, Humorous, Confrontational

Summary Chuckie, transformed from his disheveled appearance, meets with Tri-Tech executives in their office, demanding a retainer fee. The executives initially misunderstand his demand as a salary offer, but after clarification, they hand over cash to Chuckie. The scene ends with Chuckie taking the cash, expressing his suspicions, and stating that future communication will be through his attorney.

Strengths

Dynamic character interactions
Sharp dialogue
Engaging negotiation tactics

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Slightly predictable outcome

General Critique

This scene lacks clear conflict and stakes. The characters are negotiating a financial deal, but the terms and consequences are not clearly defined. As a result, the scene feels directionless and difficult to follow.
The dialogue is stilted and unnatural. Characters speak in a formal and artificial manner, which makes them feel like caricatures rather than real people.
The motivations of the characters are unclear. What does Chuckie want out of this deal? What are the executives' goals? Without understanding the characters' motivations, it's difficult to engage with the scene.
The use of jargon and technical terms makes the scene difficult to understand for a general audience. A script should be accessible to people of all backgrounds, regardless of their knowledge of a particular industry.

General Suggestions

Define the conflict and stakes of the scene. What do the characters want, and what are the consequences if they don't get it?
Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and realistic. Characters should speak like real people, not like caricatures.
Clarify the motivations of the characters. What do they want out of this deal?
Avoid using jargon and technical terms that would be unfamiliar to a general audience.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene is engaging and entertaining, showcasing Chuckie's charismatic personality and clever negotiation skills.

Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of negotiation and power dynamics is well-executed, providing insight into Chuckie's character and adding depth to the story.

Plot: 7

The plot advances as Chuckie secures money from the executives, setting up potential conflicts and developments in future scenes.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on business negotiations, blending humor and tension in a high-stakes setting. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 9

Chuckie's character shines in this scene, displaying his wit, charm, and street-smart attitude, making him a memorable and dynamic character.

Character Changes: 6

Chuckie demonstrates growth and adaptability in his negotiation skills, showcasing his ability to navigate challenging situations with confidence.

Internal Goal: 8

Chuckie's internal goal is to assert his power and control in the negotiation with the executives. This reflects his desire for respect, autonomy, and success.

External Goal: 7

Chuckie's external goal is to secure a retainer from the executives, demonstrating his financial acumen and leverage in the business deal.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict arises from the power struggle between Chuckie and the executives, adding tension and intrigue to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Chuckie challenging the executives' authority and pushing them out of their comfort zone. The audience is left wondering how the negotiation will resolve.

High Stakes: 5

The stakes are moderate, with Chuckie's reputation and financial gain on the line, but the outcome of the negotiation does not significantly impact the overall story.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by establishing Chuckie's resourcefulness and setting up potential conflicts and developments in the narrative.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of Chuckie's unexpected tactics and the shifting power dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept on their toes, unsure of how the negotiation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around power dynamics, trust, and ethical boundaries in business negotiations. Chuckie challenges the executives' assumptions and tests their integrity.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 5

The emotional impact is moderate, with moments of humor and tension, but the focus is more on the negotiation dynamics than deep emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is sharp, witty, and engaging, reflecting the characters' personalities and driving the negotiation scene forward.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its witty dialogue, dynamic character interactions, and high-stakes negotiation. The tension and humor keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and tension. The rhythm of the negotiation keeps the audience engaged and invested in the outcome.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene is well-formatted, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions and action lines enhance the reader's understanding of the setting and character interactions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for a negotiation scene, with clear character motivations and escalating tension. The pacing and dialogue flow smoothly, building towards a satisfying resolution.

EXT. AU BON PAIN COURTYARD, HARVARD SQUARE -- DAY

Will and Skylar sit in the open courtyard of this Harvard Square
eatery. Skylar is working on another O-chem lab. Will sits
across from her, slightly bored watching her work.

WILL
How's it goin'?

SKYLAR
Fine.

WILL
Want me to take a look?

SKYLAR
No.

WILL
C'mon, give me a peek and we'll go to
the battin' cages.

SKYLAR
It's important that I learn this.

WILL
Why is it important to you? If I
inherited all that money, the only thing
important to me would be workin' on my
swing.

SKYLAR
Clearly.

WILL
You're rich. What do you have to worry
about?
SKYLAR
Rich? I have an inheritance. It's two
handred and fifty thousand dollars.
That's exactly what it'll cost me, minus
about five hundred bucks, to go all the
way through med school. This is what I'm
doing with that money. I could have done
anything I wanted. I could have expanded
my wardrobe, substantially.

WILL
Instead you're going to bust your ass
for five years so you can be broke?

SKYLAR
No, so I can be a doctor.

A beat. Will nods. She looks down, then up.

SKYLAR
All right, Mr. Nosey Parker. Let me ask
you a question? Do you have a
photographic memory?

WILL
I guess. I don't know. How do you
remember your phone number?

SKYLAR
Have you ever studied Organic Chemistry?

WILL
Some, a little.

SKYLAR
Just for fun?

WILL
I guess so.

SKYLAR
Nobody does organic chemistry for "fun."
It's unnecessary. Especially for someone
like you.

WILL
Like me?

SKYLAR
Yeah. Someone like you who divides his
time, fairly evenly, between the batting
cages and bars.

Will laughs.
SKYLAR (cont'd)
How did you do that? I can't...I mean
even the smartest people I know, and we
do have a few at Harvard, have to study-
- a lot. It's hard.
(beat)
Listen, Will, if you don't want to tell
me--

WILL
Do you play the piano?

SKYLAR
Come one Will. I just want to know.

WILL
I'm trying to explain it to you. So you
play the piano. When you look at the
keys, you see music, you see Mozart.

SKYLAR
I see "Hot Cross Buns," but okay.

WILL
Well all right, Beethoven. He looked at
a piano and saw music. The fuckin' guy
was deaf when he composed the Ode to
Joy. They had to turn him around to take
a bow because he couldn't hear the crowd
going crazy behind him. Stone deaf. He
saw all of that music in his head.

SKYLAR
So, do you play the piano?

WILL
Not a lick. I look at a piano and I see
black and white keys, three pedals and a
box of wood. Beethoven, Mozart, they
looked at it and it just made sense to
them. They saw a piano and they could
play. I couldn't paint you a picture, I
probably can't hit the ball out of
Fenway Park and I can't play the piano--

SKYLAR
--But you can do my O-chem lab in under
an hour, you can--

WILL
--When it came to stuff like that I
could always just play.

Skylar is awestruck with admiration for Will, the Robot-pimp. So
much so that Skylar has to kiss him, then push him away.
SKYLAR
I can't believe it's taken me four years
to meet you and I'm going to California
in two months, Will.
(beat)
Have you ever been to California? I bet
you'd like it.

Will freezes. A beat.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
Maybe not.

CUT TO:

Genres: Romance, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Playful, Reflective, Intimate

Summary Will and Skylar share a lighthearted yet serious conversation in the courtyard of Au Bon Pain in Harvard Square. Skylar works on her O-chem lab while Will watches, leading to a minor conflict when she refuses to let him see it. However, the main conflict arises when Skylar reveals her inheritance and plans to use it for medical school, contrasting with Will's carefree lifestyle. Will impresses Skylar by revealing his photographic memory, and the scene ends with her kissing him and expressing her admiration for him.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Character development
Romantic tension

Weaknesses

Limited external conflict
Some cliched moments

General Critique

The dialogue is unnatural and stilted. People don't talk like this in real life.
The characters are one-dimensional and lack depth.
The scene lacks conflict and tension.
The pacing is slow and the scene drags on.
The ending is abrupt and unsatisfying.
The scene does not advance the plot or develop the characters.
The scene is too expository and lacks action.
The dialogue is too focused on explaining the characters' motivations and backstory, rather than allowing them to interact and develop relationships.

General Suggestions

Rewrite the dialogue to make it more natural and conversational.
Develop the characters by giving them more depth and complexity.
Add conflict and tension to the scene by creating obstacles for the characters.
Speed up the pacing by cutting out unnecessary dialogue and action.
Give the scene a more satisfying ending by resolving the conflict or leaving the audience with a cliffhanger.
Make sure the scene advances the plot or develops the characters.
Add more action to the scene to make it more visually interesting.
Focus the dialogue on the characters' interactions and relationships, rather than on explaining their motivations and backstory.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively establishes the chemistry between the main characters, provides insight into their motivations and aspirations, and sets the stage for potential conflicts and character growth.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of two individuals from different worlds coming together and finding common ground is engaging and relatable. The exploration of intelligence, talent, and ambition adds depth to the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Will and Skylar's relationship develops, revealing more about their personalities and goals. The scene sets up potential conflicts and challenges for the characters to overcome.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the classic 'opposites attract' trope by delving into the characters' internal struggles and philosophical conflicts. The dialogue feels authentic and relatable, adding depth to the characters' interactions.

Character Development

Characters: 9

Will and Skylar are well-developed characters with distinct personalities and motivations. Their interactions reveal layers of complexity and hint at future growth and transformation.

Character Changes: 7

Both Will and Skylar experience subtle shifts in their perspectives and attitudes, setting the stage for potential growth and development in future scenes.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal is to understand Skylar's dedication to her studies and her future career as a doctor. This reflects his deeper desire to comprehend the motivations and passions of others, as well as his own sense of purpose.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal is to connect with Skylar on a deeper level and potentially form a meaningful relationship. This reflects the immediate challenge of bridging the gap between their different lifestyles and aspirations.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there are hints of potential conflicts and challenges in the characters' backgrounds and goals, the scene primarily focuses on building the relationship between Will and Skylar.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict between the characters, driving the emotional stakes and character development. The audience is left unsure of how the interaction will unfold.

High Stakes: 5

While the stakes are not extremely high in this scene, the emotional investment in the characters and their budding relationship creates a sense of importance and potential consequences.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the relationship between Will and Skylar, introducing key themes and conflicts, and hinting at future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the shifting dynamics between Will and Skylar, as well as the unexpected moments of vulnerability and introspection. The audience is kept on their toes as the characters reveal new layers of themselves.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the value of passion and dedication in pursuing one's goals. Will's carefree attitude contrasts with Skylar's intense focus on her studies and future career, challenging his beliefs about success and fulfillment.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to admiration to a sense of longing. The intimate moments between Will and Skylar add depth and emotional resonance.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging and reveals important aspects of the characters' backgrounds, beliefs, and aspirations. It also establishes the playful dynamic between Will and Skylar.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic dialogue, character development, and emotional depth. The interactions between Will and Skylar keep the audience invested in their relationship and personal growth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, introspection, and emotional beats. It maintains a steady rhythm that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for a screenplay, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue. It effectively conveys the setting and character emotions.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a natural progression of dialogue and character interactions, building tension and emotional depth. It adheres to the expected structure for a character-driven drama.

INT. CHUCKIE'S APARTMENT -- DAY

Chuckie sits on his couch, watching cartoons in his boxers and a
tee-shirt, eating cereal. The doorbell rings. He sits.

CHUCKIE
Get it, ma!

She doesn't. He gets up. Opens door. It's Skylar.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
(surprised)
Hey.

SKYLAR
Hi.

CHUCKIE
How you doin'?

SKYLAR
Good.

An awkward beat.

CHUCKIE
How'd you know where to find me?

SKYLAR
(smiles)
You were the only Sullivan in the phone
book.

Chuckie smiles.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
Will and I dropped you off here,
remember?

CHUCKIE
Oh, right.
SKYLAR
This is your house, right?

Chuckie nods and is about to respond when he is interrupted by a
nagging shriek from his mom.

CHUCKIE'S MOM (O.S.)
Get in here, Chuckie!

CHUCKIE
(calling back)
Pipe down, Ma!

SKYLAR
I guess so.

CHUCKIE
What? No. This is my mother's house. I
don't live with my mother. I just stop
by, help out. I'm good like that.

SKYLAR
Is this a bad time?

CHUCKIE
She'll live.
(beat)
If she starts yelling again I might have
to run in real quick and beat her with
the stick again but...

SKYLAR
Okay.

CHUCKIE
Let's take a walk.

EXT. CHUCKIE'S STREET -- DAY

Chuckie, still in his boxers walks with Skylar who is talking.

SKYLAR
See, now this doesn't feel right.
(beat)
When I made the decision to come over
here it felt right. I had all these
rationalizations... I just don't
understand why Will never tells me
anything, he won't let me get close to
him, he tells me these weird lies--

CHUCKIE
You caught that, huh?
SKYLAR
I just wanted to find out what was going
on...But now that I'm here it seems
strange, doesn't it?

CHUCKIE
Well, I don't have no trousers on...

She laughs. A beat.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
I know why you're here. Will don't talk
much.

SKYLAR
I don't care what his family's like or
if he doesn't have any brothers, but he
doesn't have to lie to me.

CHUCKIE
I really don't know what to say. Look, I
lie to women all the time. That's just
my way.
(beat)
Last week Morgan brought these girls
down from Roslindale. I told them I was
a cosmonaut. They believed me. But
Will's not usually like that--

MAN ON PORCH
Put some clothes on, Sullivan!

CHUCKIE
Take it easy father!

She laughs.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
All I can say is; I known Will a long
time-- And I seen him with every girl
he's ever been with. But I've never seen
him like this before, ever with anyone,
like how he is with you.

SKYLAR
Is that true?

CHUCKIE
Yeah, it is.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Romance, Comedy
Tone: Awkward, Humorous, Reflective

Summary Chuckie (laid-back and carefree) opens the door to Skylar (determined and frustrated) in his boxers. They take a walk outside where Chuckie reveals that he has never seen Will like this before with anyone else. A man yells at Chuckie to put some clothes on. Skylar expresses her frustration with Will's behavior, but Chuckie's perspective gives her a new outlook. The scene takes place in the morning, outside Chuckie's house, and ends with Chuckie's revelation.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Character development
Humorous moments

Weaknesses

Lack of high stakes
Limited action

General Critique

The dialogue feels unnatural and forced. For example, Chuckie's response, "You caught that, huh?" feels like something a character in a movie would say, not someone in real life.
The scene lacks a clear conflict or purpose. It's not clear what Skylar wants from Chuckie or what she hopes to achieve by talking to him.
The scene relies too heavily on exposition. Chuckie's long speech about Will's behavior feels like a lecture rather than a natural conversation.
The scene doesn't advance the plot or develop the characters in any meaningful way. It feels like a filler scene that could be cut without losing anything important.
The scene is too long. It could be shortened by cutting out some of the unnecessary dialogue and exposition.

General Suggestions

Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and believable.
Give the scene a clear conflict or purpose. What does Skylar want from Chuckie? What does she hope to achieve by talking to him?
Cut down on the exposition. Focus on the dialogue and the interaction between the characters.
Make sure the scene advances the plot or develops the characters in some way.
Shorten the scene by cutting out some of the unnecessary dialogue and exposition.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively combines humor and reflection, providing depth to the characters and advancing the plot.

Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of an unexpected encounter leading to a candid conversation is well-executed, adding layers to the characters and their relationships.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Skylar seeks answers about Will's behavior and Chuckie provides valuable insights, setting the stage for further developments.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the theme of honesty and deception in relationships, with a focus on the complexities of human interactions. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Skylar and Chuckie are well-developed in this scene, with their unique personalities shining through in their interactions.

Character Changes: 6

Skylar experiences a slight change in perspective about Will through her conversation with Chuckie.

Internal Goal: 8

Chuckie's internal goal in this scene is to navigate his feelings for Skylar and his loyalty to his friend Will. It reflects his deeper desire for honesty and connection in his relationships.

External Goal: 7

Chuckie's external goal in this scene is to address Skylar's concerns about Will's behavior and reassure her of his own honesty.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 5

There is a mild conflict in the scene as Skylar seeks answers about Will's behavior, but it is resolved through Chuckie's insights.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with Chuckie facing internal conflicts about his loyalty to Will and his feelings for Skylar. The audience is left wondering how he will navigate these challenges.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes are relatively low in this scene, focusing more on character development and relationship dynamics.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the audience's understanding of the characters and their relationships.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected revelations about the characters' relationships and motivations. The audience is kept on their toes by the shifting dynamics between Chuckie and Skylar.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between honesty and deception in relationships. Chuckie's admission of lying to women contrasts with Skylar's desire for honesty and trust.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene has a moderate emotional impact as Skylar grapples with her feelings towards Will and Chuckie provides reassurance.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is engaging, blending humor and introspection to reveal the characters' thoughts and feelings.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the witty dialogue, character dynamics, and the underlying tension between the characters. The humor and authenticity of the interactions keep the audience invested.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and revealing character dynamics. The dialogue flows naturally, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the interactions.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness.

INT. LAMBEAU'S OFFICE -- DAY

Tom and Will are sitting waiting for Lambeau.

TOM
!!! !

WILL
!!! !

Lambeau enters going over a thick proof Will has completed.

LAMBEAU
This is correct. I see you used Mclullen
here--

WILL
I don't know what it's called.

LAMBEAU
--This can't be right.
(examining proof)
This is going to be very embarrassing.
Have you ever considered--

WILL
I'm pretty sure it's right.

Will gets up to leave.

WILL
(turning back)
Can I ask you a favor, can we do this at
Sean's from now on? 'Cause I leave work
to come here and the fuckin' commute is
killin' me--

LAMBEAU
That's fine, but did you ever think--

WILL
It's right.
(a beat, heading out)
Take it home with you.

LAMBEAU
Will, what happened at the Tri-tech
meeting?

WILL
I couldn't go 'cause I had a date. So I
sent my cheif negotiator.

LAMBEAU
Will, on your own time, you can do what
you like. When I set up a meeting, with
my associates, and you don't show up it
reflects poorly on me.
WILL
Then don't set up any more meetings.

LAMBEAU
I'll cancel every meeting right now.
I'll give you a job myself. I just
wanted you to see what was out there.

WILL
--Maybe I don't want to spend my life
sittin' around and explaining shit to
people.

LAMBEAU
The least you can do is show me a little
appreciation.

WILL
(indicates proof)
--You know how fuckin' easy this is to
me? This is a joke!
(crumples proof)
And I'm sorry you can't do this. I
really am. 'Cause if you could I
wouldn't be forced to watch you fumble
around and fuck it up.

LAMBEAU
Sure, then you'd have more time to sit
around and get drunk. Think of how many
fights you could have been in by now.

Will turns around reveling that he's lit the PROOF ON FIRE. Will
drops it on the floor. Lambeau drops to his knees and puts it
out. He looks up at Will.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
You're right, Will. I can't do that
proof and you can. And when it comes to
this there are only twenty people in the
world that can tell the difference
between you and me. But I'm one of them.

WILL
Well, I'm sorry.

LAMBEAU
So am I.
(beat)
Yes. That's right, Will. Most days I
wish I never met you. Because then I
could sleep at night. I wouldn't have to
walk around with the knowledge that
someone like you was out there. And I
wouldn't have to watch you throw it all
away.
Lambeau gathers his composure and calmly walks over to the
wrinkled proof. He picks it up, smooths it out.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama
Tone: Intense, Confrontational, Defiant

Summary In Lambeau's office, Will and Tom wait for their meeting when Lambeau enters with a proof for Will to review. Lambeau finds an error, but Will insists it's correct, leading to a heated argument about Will's work and attitude. Will's frustration with his commute adds to the tension, culminating in him setting the proof on fire. Lambeau puts it out, and the scene ends with Lambeau expressing regret for their encounter.

Strengths

Intense character dynamics
Sharp dialogue
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Potential lack of subtlety in the confrontation

General Critique

The scene's conflict revolves around Will's reluctance to attend meetings set up by Lambeau, which is not a strong enough issue to carry the tension between the two characters.
The dialogue lacks depth and meaningful exchanges, making the conversation feel stilted and unengaging.
The scene could benefit from a clearer objective for both characters, providing a more focused and dynamic interaction.
The pacing is uneven, with the confrontation about the missed meeting taking up too much time and not contributing significantly to the overall narrative.

General Suggestions

Introduce a more significant conflict, such as a disagreement about Will's future or a difference in opinion on how to approach a challenging mathematical problem.
Add subtext to the dialogue, allowing the characters to express their thoughts and feelings more subtly and creating a more engaging conversation.
Give Will and Lambeau clear objectives for the scene, driving their interactions and creating a more dynamic and engaging exchange.
Shorten the confrontation about the missed meeting, focusing on the core issue and allowing the scene to progress more smoothly to the proof-on-fire moment.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly engaging and impactful, with intense emotions and a significant turning point in the relationship between Will and Lambeau.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of intellectual superiority, defiance against authority, and the clash of egos are effectively portrayed in the scene.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as Will asserts his independence and challenges Lambeau, leading to a pivotal moment in their dynamic.

Originality: 9

The scene introduces a fresh take on the mentor-student relationship, exploring themes of independence, authenticity, and personal growth in a unique and compelling way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and true to their motivations.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Will and Lambeau are well-developed and their conflicting personalities drive the scene's intensity.

Character Changes: 8

Will undergoes a significant change in his relationship with authority and his own self-perception during the scene.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal in this scene is to assert his independence and reject the expectations placed on him by Lambeau. He wants to prove that he is capable of making his own choices and following his own path.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal in this scene is to confront Lambeau about his dissatisfaction with the work environment and assert his desire for autonomy and respect.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

The conflict between Will and Lambeau is intense and drives the scene's emotional impact.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and values driving the conflict between Will and Lambeau. The audience is left uncertain about the outcome, adding suspense and drama to the scene.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Will challenges his mentor and risks his future opportunities in the academic world.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the conflict between Will and Lambeau and setting the stage for further developments.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected turns in the characters' behavior and the shifting power dynamics between them. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the confrontation will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene is between the traditional expectations of authority figures like Lambeau and Will's desire for personal freedom and self-expression. It challenges the values of conformity and obedience versus individuality and authenticity.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly resentment, defiance, and a sense of personal struggle.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, confrontational, and reveals the characters' motivations and emotions effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense emotional conflict between the characters, the high stakes of their confrontation, and the unpredictable nature of their interactions. The dialogue is sharp and impactful, drawing the reader in.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, with a gradual build-up of tension and emotional intensity leading to a climactic confrontation. The rhythm of the dialogue and action keeps the reader engaged and invested in the outcome.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to standard screenplay conventions, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The pacing and visual descriptions enhance the reader's understanding of the action.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows a traditional format for a dramatic confrontation, with escalating tension and emotional stakes. The dialogue and actions flow naturally and contribute to the overall narrative.

INT. SKYLAR'S ROOM -- NIGHT

Will and Skylar lie in bed. Skylar watches Will sleep. She gets
up and goes to the fridge. Returning to the bed:

SKYLAR
Will? Are you awake?

WILL
No.

SKYLAR
Come with me to California.

WILL
What?

SKYLAR
I want you to come with me.

WILL
How do you know that?

SKYLAR
I know. I just do.

WILL
Yeah, but how do you know?

SKYLAR
I don't know. I just feel it.

WILL
And you're sure about that?

SKYLAR
Yeah, I'm sure.
WILL
'Cause that's a serious thing you're
sayin'. I mean, we might be in
California next week and you could find
out somethin' about me that you don't
like. And you might feel like "hey this
is a big mistake."
(getting upset)
But you can't take it back, 'cause you
know it's real serious and you can't
take somethin' like that back. Now I'm
in California, 'cause you asked me to
come. But you don't really want me
there. And I'm stuck in California with
someone who really doesn't want me there
and just wishes they had a take-back.

SKYLAR
"Take-back?" What is that? I don't want
a take-back. I want you to come to
California with me.

WILL
I can't go out to California.

SKYLAR
Why not?

WILL
One, because I have a job here and two
because I live here--

SKYLAR
(beat)
Look, Will if you're not in love with
me, you can say that.

WILL
I'm not sayin' I'm not in love with you.

SKYLAR
Then what are you afraid of?

WILL
What do you mean "What am I afraid of?"

SKYLAR
Why won't you come with me? What are you
so scared of?

WILL
What am I scared of?

SKYLAR
Well, what aren't you scared of? You
live in your safe little world where
nobody challenges you and you're scared
shitless to do anything else--
WILL
--Don't tell me about my world. You're
the one that's afraid. You just want to
have your little fling with the guy from
the other side of town and marry--

SKYLAR
Is that what you think--

WILL
--some prick from Stanford that your
parents will approve of. Then you'll sit
around with the rest of the upper crust
kids and talk about how you went
slummin' too.

SKYLAR
I inherited that money when I was
thirteen, when my father died.

WILL
At least you have a mother.

SKYLAR
Fuck you! You think I want this? That
money's a burden to me. Every day I wake
up and I wish I could give that back.
I'd give everything I have back to spend
one more day with my father. But that's
life. And I deal with it. So don't put
that shit on me. You're the one that's
afraid.

WILL
What the fuck am I afraid of?!

SKYLAR
You're afraid of me. You're afraid that
I won't love you back. And guess what?
I'm afraid too. But at least I have the
balls to it give it a shot. At least I'm
honest with you.

WILL
I'm not honest?

SKYLAR
What about your twelve brothers?

WILL
Oh, is that what this is about? You want
to hear that I don't really have any
brothers? That I'm a fuckin' orphan? Is
that what you want to hear?

SKYLAR
Yes, Will. I didn't even know that?
WILL
No, you don't want to hear that.

SKYLAR
Yes, I do, Will.

WILL
You don't want to hear that I got
cigarettes put out on me when I was a
little kid. That this isn't surgery

Will lifts his shirt, revealing a six inch SCAR on his torso.

WILL (cont'd)
You don't want to hear that. Don't tell
me you want to hear that shit!!

SKYLAR
Yes I do. Did you ever think that maybe
I could help you? That maybe that's the
point, that we're a team?

WILL
What, you want to come in here and save
me? Is that what you want to do? Do I
have a sign that says "save me" on my
back?

SKYLAR
I don't want to "save" you. I just want
to be with you. I love you. I love you!

Will, full of self-loathing, raises his hand to strike her.

WILL
Don't bullshit me! Don't fuckin'
bullshit me!

SKYLAR
(standing up to him)
You know what I want to hear? I want to
hear that you don't love me. If you tell
me that, then I'll leave you alone. I
won't ask any questions and I won't be
in your life.

A beat. Will looks Skylar dead in the eye. Lowers his hand.

WILL
I don't love you.

He walks out.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Romance
Tone: Intense, Emotional, Confrontational

Summary Skylar invites Will to move to California with her, but he resists due to his job and living situation. Their argument reveals personal fears and insecurities, culminating in Will admitting he doesn't love Skylar and leaving. The scene takes place in Skylar's room at night, with intense and emotional dialogue and visual elements such as Skylar watching Will sleep and his revealing a scar on his torso.

Strengths

Raw and emotional dialogue
Intense character interactions
Deep exploration of love and vulnerability

Weaknesses

Potential for the scene to be overly dramatic or melodramatic

General Critique

The scene is emotionally intense and showcases a significant turning point in the relationship between Will and Skylar. However, the pacing could be improved by shortening some of the dialogue and making the emotional beats more impactful.
The scene could benefit from more visual storytelling, such as showing Will's scar earlier in the film to provide context for this moment.
The scene's structure is somewhat repetitive, with both characters stating their fears multiple times. Tightening up the dialogue and focusing on the emotional core of the scene could help alleviate this issue.

General Suggestions

Consider cutting some of the dialogue to increase the pacing and emotional impact of the scene.
Integrate visual storytelling elements, such as showing Will's scar earlier in the film, to provide context for this emotional moment.
Revise the scene's structure to eliminate repetitive dialogue and focus on the emotional core of the characters' conflict.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 10

The scene is a pivotal moment in the story, revealing the true feelings and vulnerabilities of the characters in a raw and emotional way. The intense confrontation and honest dialogue make it a standout scene.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of love, fear, and vulnerability is explored in depth through the interaction between Will and Skylar, adding layers to their characters and the overall narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot is significantly advanced as the true emotions and conflicts between Will and Skylar are brought to the forefront, setting the stage for further character development and relationship dynamics.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases a high level of originality through its authentic portrayal of complex emotions, raw dialogue, and deep character development. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds a fresh and compelling dimension to the familiar themes of love and fear.

Character Development

Characters: 10

The characters of Will and Skylar are fully fleshed out in this scene, showcasing their inner struggles, fears, and desires. The emotional depth and complexity of their interactions make them compelling and relatable.

Character Changes: 9

Both Will and Skylar undergo significant emotional changes in this scene, as they confront their fears and vulnerabilities, leading to a deeper understanding of themselves and each other.

Internal Goal: 9

Will's internal goal in this scene is to confront his fears and insecurities, particularly regarding his past traumas and his ability to love and be loved. This reflects his deeper need for acceptance, understanding, and emotional connection.

External Goal: 8

Skylar's external goal is to convince Will to come with her to California, reflecting her desire for a deeper relationship and emotional commitment from him.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Will and Skylar is palpable, as they confront their fears and insecurities, leading to a powerful and emotional exchange that drives the scene forward.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in the scene is strong, with intense emotional conflicts, deep-seated fears, and shifting power dynamics between the characters. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will resolve their differences and confront their inner demons.

High Stakes: 8

The stakes are high as Will and Skylar confront their true feelings and vulnerabilities, risking their relationship and emotional well-being in the process.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing the true emotions and conflicts between Will and Skylar, setting the stage for further character development and relationship dynamics.

Unpredictability: 9

This scene is unpredictable because of the characters' shifting emotions, unexpected revelations, and intense confrontations. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflict will unfold and how the characters will react.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' differing beliefs about love, trust, and vulnerability. Will's fear of being hurt and Skylar's willingness to take a chance on love challenge their worldviews and values.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The emotional impact of the scene is profound, evoking a range of feelings from love and vulnerability to anger and sadness. The raw and honest portrayal of the characters' emotions resonates with the audience.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue is the heart of this scene, driving the emotional intensity and revealing the inner thoughts and feelings of the characters. The raw and honest exchanges between Will and Skylar create a powerful impact.

Engagement: 10

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflict, raw and honest dialogue, and deep exploration of the characters' inner struggles. The high emotional stakes and powerful character dynamics keep the audience invested in the outcome.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, building tension and emotional depth through well-timed dialogue exchanges, character interactions, and revelations. The rhythm of the scene enhances its effectiveness in conveying the characters' emotional turmoil and conflicts.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear character cues, dialogue formatting, and scene descriptions. The formatting enhances the readability and impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, conflict, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension and emotional depth.

EXT. SKYLAR'S DORM -- NIGHT

Will leaves pulling on his clothes.

CUT TO:

INT. NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY, OFFICE -- DAY

Will sits across from two N.S.A. AGENTS, OLIVER DYTRESS and
ROBERT TAVANO. These guys ar smug, clean cut, gung-ho and
looking sharp in twin navy blue suits.

WILL
So why do you think I should work for
the National Security Agency?

DYTRESS
Well, you'd be working on the cutting
edge. You'd be exposed to the kind of
technology you couldn't see anywhere
else because we've classified it. Super
string theory, Chaos Math, Advanced
algorithms--

WILL
Codebreaking.

DYTRESS
That's one aspect of what we do.

WILL
Come on, that's what you do. You handle
more than eighty percent of the
intelligence workload. You're seven
times the size of the C.I.A.

DYTRESS
That's exactly right, Will. So the
question as I see it isn't "why should
you work for N.S.A." it's "why shouldn't
you?"

WILL
Why shouldn't I work for the National
Security Agency? That's a tough one.

Will bites his tongue, trying to make this work.

CUT TO:

INT. CHUCKIE'S HOUSE -- DAY

Chuckie, Billy, and Will sit in the Sullivan kitchen. Billy
cracks open a beer and Chuckie reads the sports page. Both boys
are smoking. Will drinks a beer, distractedly. We hear the faint
music track and soft moans of a PORNO MOVIE emanating from a
back room. After a beat, Chuckie looks up.

CHUCKIE
Morgan, if you're watchin' pornos in my
mom's room again I'm gonna give you a
fuckin' beatin'!

After a beat, Morgan comes out of the back room, red-faced.

MORGAN
(innocently)
What's up guys?

CHUCKIE
Why don't you beat off at your house?

MORGAN
I don't have a VCR at my house.

Will pays no attention to this exchange

CUT TO:

EXT. SOUTH BOSTON PAY PHONE -- DAY

Will is on pay phone talking to Skylar.

WILL
I just wanted to call before you left.
(beat)
I'm takin' all these job interviews. So
I won't just be a construction worker.

INT. SKYLAR'S DORM -- DAY

SKYLAR
I never cared about that.

An awkward beat.

WILL
Yeah.

SKYLAR
I love you, Will.
(pause)
No take-backs.

Will says nothing.

SKYLAR (cont'd)
Will?

A beat.
WILL
Take care.

SKYLAR
Goodbye.

Will hangs up. Hold on him for an agonizing beat.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Awkward, Serious

Summary Will leaves Skylar's dorm after admitting he doesn't love her, then interviews with NSA agents Oliver Dytress and Robert Tavano, who try to recruit him. Later, he joins Chuckie, Billy, and Morgan at Chuckie's house for a less-than-enthusiastic interaction. The scene concludes with Will avoiding expressing his feelings to Skylar during a phone conversation, leaving their relationship unresolved.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Tension-building
Character development

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly forced or melodramatic

General Critique

The scene is too short and doesn't give the reader enough time to get to know the characters or the situation.
The dialogue is stilted and unnatural.
The scene lacks a clear conflict.
The ending of the scene is abrupt and unsatisfying.

General Suggestions

Add more detail to the characters and their backgrounds.
Give the characters more time to interact with each other.
Create a clear conflict that the characters must face.
Give the scene a more satisfying ending.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively conveys the emotional turmoil and internal struggle of the characters, creating a tense atmosphere and engaging the audience with the high stakes involved.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of Will being torn between different paths in his life is well-developed and drives the emotional core of the scene.

Plot: 9

The plot advances significantly as Will faces a crucial decision regarding his future, leading to a turning point in the story.

Originality: 8

The scene introduces a fresh take on the classic dilemma of personal relationships versus career aspirations, with authentic character interactions and emotional depth.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are complex and their interactions reveal layers of emotions and conflicts, adding depth to the scene.

Character Changes: 8

Will undergoes significant internal changes as he grapples with his feelings for Skylar and his future, leading to a pivotal moment of self-realization.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to reconcile his personal relationships and his career aspirations. He is torn between his love for Skylar and his desire to pursue a job at the NSA.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to make a decision about his future career path and communicate it to Skylar.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Will's desires and responsibilities creates a high level of tension and emotional intensity.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and uncertainty about the protagonist's decision, adding depth to the conflict.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high as Will faces a critical choice that will determine his future and relationships, adding urgency and tension to the scene.

Story Forward: 9

The scene propels the story forward by setting up important decisions and conflicts that will impact the characters' trajectories.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional revelations and the protagonist's ambiguous decision-making.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between personal fulfillment and professional success. The protagonist must weigh his own happiness and relationships against the opportunities presented by the NSA.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly through Will's internal struggle and the heartfelt moments between characters.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is impactful, conveying the characters' inner turmoil and conflicting emotions effectively.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the emotional stakes, realistic dialogue, and the protagonist's internal conflict.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by balancing emotional moments with dialogue and character interactions.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with clear scene headings and character actions.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and well-paced dialogue.

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Lambeau is scribbling away at work. Tom is taking notes. Will is
tapping his fingers, waiting for him to finish.

LAMBEAU
I can...I'm almost there.

CUT TO:

INT. LOGAN AIRPORT TERMINAL -- SAME

Skylar stands at the gate, carry-ons in hand. Her flight is
boarding. She looks for Will over the crowd.

CUT TO:

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- SAME

Will picks up a FRAME from Sean's desk. It is CARLTON FISK'S
BASEBALL CARD. Will has to smile. Lambeau looks up.

LAMBEAU
What are you smiling at?

WILL
It's a Carlton Fisk baseball card.

Will can see that Lambeau wants more.

WILL (cont'd)
Pudge Fisk. You follow baseball?

LAMBEAU
No.

CUT TO:

INT. LOGAN AIRPORT TERMINAL -- SAME

The final boarding call is announced and the last passenger
boards. After a beat, Skylar turns and gets on the plane.

CUT BACK TO:
INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- SAME

Will, holding the card, reflects for a beat and puts it down.

WILL
Oh, well, it's just somethin' Sean told
me. It's a long story.

A beat.

WILL (cont'd)
You all set?

LAMBEAU
I've got the first part. The rest I can
do at home.

Will gets up.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Will, the N.S.A. has been calling me
just about every hour. They're very
excited about how the meeting went.

Lambeau is excited. Will clearly is not.

WILL
Yeah.

CUT TO:

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- NIGHT

Will sits across from Sean.

SEAN
So you might be working for Uncle Sam.

WILL
I don't know.

SEAN
Gerry says the meeting went well.

WILL
I guess.

SEAN
What did you think?

WILL
What did I think?

A beat. Will has obviously been stewing on this.
WILL (cont'd)
Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts
a code on my desk, something nobody else
can break. So I take a shot at it and
maybe I break it. And I'm real happy
with myself, 'cause I did my job well.
But maybe that code was the location of
some rebel army in North Africa or the
Middle East. Once they have that
location, they bomb the village where
the rebels were hiding and fifteen
hundred people I never had a problem
with get killed. (rapid fire) Now the
politicians are sayin' "send in the
Marines to secure the area" 'cause they
don't give a shit. It won't be their kid
over there, gettin' shot. Just like it
wasn't them when their number got
called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour
in the National Guard. It'll be some guy
from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass.
And he comes home to find that the plant
he used to work at got exported to the
country he just got back from. And the
guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got
his old job, 'cause he'll work for
fifteen cents a day and no bathroom
breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie
realizes the only reason he was over
there was so we could install a
government that would sell us oil at a
good price. And of course the oil
companies used the skirmish to scare up
oil prices so they could turn a quick
buck. A cute, little ancillary benefit
for them but it ain't helping my buddy
at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally
they're takin' their sweet time bringin'
the oil back and maybe even took the
liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper
who likes to drink seven and sevens and
play slalom with the icebergs and it
ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills
the oil, and kills all the sea-life in
the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of
work and he can't afford to drive so
he's got to walk to the job interviews
which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his
ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids.
And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every
time he tries to get a bite to eat the
only blue-plate special they're servin'
is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker
State.

A beat.
WILL (cont'd)
So what'd I think? I'm holdin' out for
somethin' better. I figure I'll
eliminate the middle man. Why not just
shoot my buddy, take his job and give it
to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices,
bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit
the hash pipe and join the National
Guard? Christ, I could be elected
President.

SEAN
Do you think you're alone?

WILL
What?

SEAN
Do you have a soul-mate?

WILL
Define that.

SEAN
Someone who challenges you in every way.
Who takes you places, opens things up
for you. A soul-mate.

WILL
Yeah.

Sean waits.

WILL (cont'd)
Shakespeare, Neitzche, Frost, O'Connor,
Chaucer, Pope, Kant--

SEAN
They're all dead.

WILL
Not to me, they're not.

SEAN
But you can't give back to them, Will.

WILL
Not without a heater and some serious
smelling salts, no...

SEAN
That's what I'm saying, Will. You'll
never have that kind of relationship in
a world where you're afraid to take the
first step because all you're seeing are
the negative things that might happen
ten miles down the road.
WILL
Oh, what? You're going to take the
professor's side on this?

SEAN
Don't give me you line of shit.

WILL
I didn't want the job.

SEAN
It's not about that job. I'm not saying
you should work for the government. But,
you could do anything you want. And
there are people who work their whole
lives layin' brick so their kids have a
chance at the kind of opportunity you
have. What do you want to do?

WILL
I didn't ask for this.

SEAN
Nobody gets what they ask for, Will.
That's a cop-out.

WILL
Why is it a cop-out? I don't see
anythin' wrong with layin' brick, that's
somebody's home I'm buildin'. Or fixin'
somebody's car, somebody's gonna get to
work the next day 'cause of me. There's
honor in that.

SEAN
You're right, Will. Any man who takes a
forty minute train ride so those college
kids can come in in the morning and
their floors will be clean and their
trash cans will be empty is an honorable
man.

A beat. Will says nothing.

SEAN (cont'd)
And when they get drunk and puke in the
sink, they don't have to see it the next
morning because of you. That's real
work, Will. And there is honor in that.
Which I'm sure is why you took the job.

A beat.
SEAN (cont'd)
I just want to know why you decided to
sneak around at night, writing on
chalkboards and lying about it.
(beat)
'Cause there's no honor in that.

Will is silent.

SEAN (cont'd)
Something you want to say?

Sean gets up, goes to the door and opens it.

SEAN (cont'd)
Why don't you come back when you have an
answer for me.

WILL
What?

SEAN
If you won't answer my questions, you're
wasting my time.

WILL
What?

Will loses it, slams the door shut.

WILL (cont'd)
Fuck you!

Sean has finally gotten to Will.

WILL (cont'd)
Who the fuck are you to lecture me about
life? You fuckin' burnout! Where's your
"soul-mate?!"

Sean lets this play out. Possible "shepard" change.

WILL (cont'd)
Dead! She dies and you just cash in your
chips. That's a fuckin' cop-out!

SEAN
I been there. I played my hand.

WILL
That's right. And you fuckin' lost! And
some people would have the sack to lose
a big hand like that and still come back
and ante up again!

SEAN
Look at me. What do you want to do?
A beat. Will looks up.

SEAN (cont'd)
You and your bullshit. You got an answer
for everybody. But I asked you a
straight question and you can't give me
a straight answer. Because you don't
know.

Sean goes to the door and opens it. Will walks out.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama
Tone: Intense, Reflective, Confrontational

Summary In this scene, Will, Lambeau, and Sean have separate interactions. Lambeau and Will work on the math problem, while Skylar waits for Will at the airport but ultimately boards the plane without him. Later, Will discusses his concerns about working for the NSA with Sean, who challenges him to think about what he truly wants in life. Will becomes defensive and angry, leading to him storming out of Sean's office.

Strengths

Intense dialogue
Emotional depth
Character development

Weaknesses

Pacing may be slow for some viewers

General Critique

The scene is very dialogue-heavy, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow and engage with. Consider breaking up the dialogue with more action or description to keep the reader engaged.
The scene is also very long, which can make it difficult for the reader to stay focused. Consider breaking it up into multiple shorter scenes to make it more manageable.
The scene seems to be more of a monologue from Will, rather than a dialogue between two characters. This can make it feel one-sided and unengaging. Consider giving Sean more lines and making it a more equal conversation.
The scene seems to be more focused on Will's internal struggles and thoughts, rather than the external conflict or action. This can make it feel slow and unengaging. Consider introducing more external conflict or action to keep the reader engaged.
The scene seems to be more focused on Will's character development, rather than advancing the plot. This can make it feel disconnected from the rest of the story. Consider tying it more closely to the overall plot and making it feel more integral to the story.

General Suggestions

Break up the dialogue with more action or description to keep the reader engaged.
Consider breaking the scene up into multiple shorter scenes to make it more manageable.
Give Sean more lines and make it a more equal conversation to avoid it feeling one-sided.
Introduce more external conflict or action to keep the reader engaged and make the scene feel more dynamic.
Tie the scene more closely to the overall plot and make it feel more integral to the story to avoid it feeling disconnected.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful, delving into the core of the protagonist's inner turmoil and conflicting emotions. The intense dialogue and confrontational tone keep the audience engaged and emotionally invested.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of finding one's soul-mate, both in relationships and in life choices, is central to the scene. It explores the idea of challenging oneself, making difficult decisions, and facing the consequences of one's actions.

Plot: 8

The plot advances through the intense dialogue between Will and Sean, revealing the internal struggles and conflicting motivations of the protagonist. The scene sets up important character development and conflict for future events.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases a high level of originality through its fresh approach to exploring moral dilemmas, societal issues, and personal values. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative, making it stand out.

Character Development

Characters: 10

The characters, especially Will and Sean, are deeply developed in this scene. Their conflicting beliefs, emotional vulnerabilities, and personal histories are laid bare, creating a rich and compelling dynamic.

Character Changes: 9

Will undergoes significant emotional and psychological changes throughout the scene, confronting his fears, insecurities, and conflicting beliefs. The intense dialogue with Sean forces him to reevaluate his choices and motivations.

Internal Goal: 9

Will's internal goal in this scene is to grapple with his moral and ethical beliefs, particularly regarding his potential involvement with the NSA and the consequences of his actions. This reflects his deeper need for purpose, integrity, and a sense of right and wrong.

External Goal: 8

Will's external goal is to navigate his professional opportunities and personal values, deciding whether to work for the government or pursue a different path. This reflects the immediate challenge of balancing his career aspirations with his moral compass.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 9

The conflict between Will and Sean, both internally and externally, is palpable in the scene. Their differing perspectives and emotional outbursts create a tense and dramatic atmosphere.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting viewpoints, emotional confrontations, and moral dilemmas challenging the protagonist's beliefs and decisions. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the characters will resolve their conflicts.

High Stakes: 8

The high stakes in the scene revolve around Will's internal struggle, moral dilemmas, and personal growth. The decisions he makes and the revelations he faces have far-reaching consequences for his relationships and future choices.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by deepening the character development, setting up future conflicts and resolutions, and exploring the central themes of the narrative. It adds layers of complexity to the plot and character arcs.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the characters' interactions, the shifting power dynamics, and the revelation of deep-seated beliefs and values. The audience is kept on edge, unsure of how the conflicts will be resolved.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the ethical implications of Will's potential work with the NSA and the broader societal impact of his actions. This challenges Will's beliefs about responsibility, integrity, and the greater good.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes a strong emotional response from the audience, delving into themes of loss, regret, and personal growth. The raw and vulnerable moments between the characters resonate deeply.

Dialogue: 10

The dialogue is the driving force of the scene, showcasing the intense emotional exchange between Will and Sean. The raw and confrontational nature of the conversation adds depth to the characters and advances the central themes.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflicts, thought-provoking dialogue, and complex character dynamics. The high stakes, moral dilemmas, and philosophical discussions keep the audience invested in the characters' journeys and decisions.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is expertly crafted, with a balance of intense dialogue exchanges, reflective moments, and emotional beats. The rhythm and flow of the scene contribute to its effectiveness in building tension, revealing character motivations, and advancing the plot.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene is well-executed, with proper scene headings, character cues, and dialogue formatting. The use of visual cues and descriptive language enhances the reader's understanding of the setting and character dynamics.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear transitions between locations, well-paced dialogue exchanges, and a gradual build-up of tension and conflict. The formatting adheres to industry standards, enhancing the readability and flow of the scene.

INT. MAGGIORE BUILDER'S CONSTRUCTION SITE -- DAY

Will and Chuckie take crowbars to a wall. This is what they do
for a living. As they routinely hammer away, Will becomes more
involved in his battle with the wall. Plaster and lathing fly as
Will vents his rage. Chuckie, noticing, stops working and takes
a step back, watching Will. Will is oblivious.

CUT TO:

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Lambeau and Tom are in his office. Will is nowhere to be seen.
Lambeau is on the phone.

LAMBEAU
What I mean, Sean, is that I'm sitting
in your office and the boy isn't here.
(beat)
Well, it's ten past three.
(beat)
An hour and ten minutes late.
(beat)
Well, if he doesn't show up and I have
to file a report saying he wasn't here
and he goes back to jail, i won't be on
my conscience, Sean.
(beat)
Fine.

He hangs up. Tom picks up a FORM up off the desk.

TOM
What should I do?

LAMBEAU
The boy was here. He came in, sat down
and we worked together.

A blank look.
LAMBEAU (cont'd)
He came in, sat down, and we worked
together.

TOM
Okay.

Tom understands, begins filling out the form.

CUT TO:

EXT. HANRAHAN'S PACKAGE STORE -- LATER

Will walks out carrying a brown bag. He is filthy, having just
knocked off work.

CUT TO:

EXT. MAGGIORE BUILDER'S CONSTRUCTION SITE -- PARKING LOT

Chuckie is sitting on the hood of his Cadillac, watching Will
across the street. Chuckie is covered in grime as well. Will
starts walking towards Chuckie. As he draws closer, he heaves a
can of Budweiser a good thirsty yards, to Chuckie who handles it
routinely.

Will takes a seat next to Chuckie and they crack open their
beers. Other workers file out of the site. They drink.

CHUCKIE
How's the woman?

WILL
Gone.

CHUCKIE
What?

WILL
She went to Medical school in
California.

CHUCKIE
Sorry, brother.
(beat)
I don't know what to tell ya. You know
all the girls I been with. You been with
'em too, except for Cheryl McGovern
which was a big mistake on your part
brother...

WILL
Oh I'm sure, that's why only one of us
has herpes.
CHUCKIE
Some shows are worth the price of
admission, partner.

This gets a small laugh from Will.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
My fuckin' back is killin' me.

A passing SHEET METAL WORKER overhears this.

SHEET METAL WORKER
That's why you should'a gone to college.

WILL
Fuck you.

CHUCKIE
Suck my crank. Fuckin' sheet metal
pussy.
(beat)
So, when are you done with those
meetin's?

WILL
Week after I'm twenty-one.

CHUCKIE
Are they hookin' you up with a job?

WILL
Yeah, sit in a room and do long division
for the next fifty years.

CHUCKIE
Yah, but it's better than this shit. At
least you'd make some nice bank.

WILL
Yeah, be a fuckin' lab rat.

CHUCKIE
It's a way outta here.

WILL
What do I want a way outta here for? I
want to live here the rest of my life. I
want to be your next door neighbor. I
want to take out kids to little league
together up Foley Field.
CHUCKIE
Look, you're my best friend, so don't
take this the wrong way, but in 20
years, if you're livin' next door to me,
comin' over watchin' the fuckin'
Patriots' games and still workin'
construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. And
that's not a threat, that's a fact. I'll
fuckin' kill you.

WILL
Chuckie, what are you talkin'...

CHUCKIE
Listen, you got somethin' that none of
us have.

WILL
Why is it always this? I owe it to
myself? What if I don't want to?

CHUCKIE
Fuck you. You owe it to me. Tomorrow I'm
gonna wake up and I'll be fifty and I'll
still be doin' this. And that's all
right 'cause I'm gonna make a run at it.
But you, you're sittin' on a winning
lottery ticket and you're too much of a
pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit
'cause I'd do anything to have what you
got! And so would any of these guys.
It'd be a fuckin' insult to us if you're
still here in twenty years.

WILL
You don't know that.

CHUCKIE
Let me tell you what I do know. Every
day I come by to pick you up, and we go
out drinkin' or whatever and we have a
few laughs. But you know what the best
part of my day is? The ten seconds
before I knock on the door 'cause I let
myself think I might get there, and
you'd be gone. I'd knock on the door and
you wouldn't be there. You just left.

A beat.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
Now, I don't know much. But I know that.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Serious, Humorous, Reflective

Summary In a local construction site, Will vents his frustration on a wall while Chuckie observes. Simultaneously, Lambeau and Tom discuss Will's unexplained absence from a meeting in Lambeau's office. Later, Will and Chuckie reunite at a package store, consuming beer while discussing women and their futures. The conversation turns tense as Chuckie challenges Will's lack of ambition and desire to remain in their working-class neighborhood. The scene concludes with an emotional confrontation, leaving their friendship and Will's aspirations uncertain.

Strengths

Strong character development
Engaging dialogue
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue
Lack of external action

General Critique

The scene is well-written with natural dialogue and realistic character interactions.
The setting is well-established and provides a clear contrast to the previous scene.
The conflict between Will and Chuckie is well-developed and adds emotional depth to the scene.
The use of humor and lighthearted moments helps balance the heavier themes of the scene.
The scene effectively explores the themes of friendship, ambition, and the fear of change.

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual descriptions to further immerse the reader in the scene.
Consider exploring Chuckie's character more deeply, as he seems to have a lot of wisdom and insight for his age.
Consider adding more tension or conflict to the scene to keep the reader engaged.
Consider further developing the subplot of Will's job prospects and how it relates to his personal growth.
Consider adding more introspection or reflection from Will to help the reader understand his motivations and fears.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively balances humor and drama, delving into the characters' inner conflicts and relationships. The dialogue is engaging and reveals the characters' depth.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of missed opportunities and the fear of change is well-developed through the characters' interactions. The scene effectively conveys the theme of seizing opportunities.

Plot: 8

The plot progresses as Will grapples with his future and the choices he needs to make. The conflict between staying in his current life or pursuing new opportunities is engaging.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh perspective on the theme of personal growth and self-realization, with authentic character interactions and conflicts that feel genuine and relatable.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their relationships are explored in depth. Chuckie's loyalty and Will's internal struggle are portrayed convincingly.

Character Changes: 8

Will experiences internal conflict and begins to consider his future differently. Chuckie's loyalty and honesty challenge Will to reevaluate his choices.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his future and his potential. He grapples with the idea of leaving his current life behind for something more promising but also uncertain.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal is to navigate his relationships with his friends and make decisions about his future career path.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

There is a moderate level of conflict as Will grapples with his future and Chuckie challenges him to make a change. The emotional tension adds depth to the scene.

Opposition: 8

The opposition in the scene is strong, with Chuckie challenging Will's beliefs and pushing him to confront his fears and insecurities.

High Stakes: 7

The stakes are moderate as Will faces a decision that could change the course of his life. The scene emphasizes the importance of seizing opportunities and facing fears.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by highlighting Will's internal struggle and the choices he needs to make. It sets up future conflicts and character development.

Unpredictability: 7

The scene is somewhat predictable in terms of character interactions and conflicts, but the emotional depth and raw honesty of the dialogue keep the audience invested.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the idea of seizing opportunities versus staying in one's comfort zone. Chuckie challenges Will to take risks and pursue his potential, while Will struggles with the fear of change and uncertainty.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from humor to regret to hope. The characters' vulnerabilities and fears resonate with the audience, creating an emotional impact.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is a mix of humor and introspection, revealing the characters' personalities and emotions. It drives the scene forward and adds depth to the interactions.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its intense emotional conflicts, authentic character dynamics, and relatable themes of self-discovery and personal growth.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene effectively builds tension and emotional stakes, with well-timed dialogue exchanges and character beats that enhance the dramatic impact.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting adheres to standard screenplay conventions, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting that enhance readability.

Structure: 8

The scene follows a traditional structure for character-driven drama, with clear setups and payoffs that advance the narrative and develop the protagonist's arc.

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Lambeau stands across from Sean, seething.

LAMBEAU
This is a disaster! I brought you in
here to help me with this boy, not to
run him out--

SEAN
Now wait a minute--

LAMBEAU
--And confuse him--

SEAN
--Gerry--

LAMBEAU
--And here I am for the second week in a
row with my professional reputation at
stake--

SEAN
Hold on!

LAMBEAU
--Ready to falsify documents because
you've given him license to walk away
from this.

SEAN
I know what I'm doing and I know why I'm
here!

LAMBEAU
Look Sean, I don't care if you have a
rapport with the boy-- I don't care if
you have a few laughs-- even at my
expense! But don't you dare undermine
what I'm trying to do here.

SEAN
"Undermine?"

LAMBEAU
He has a gift and with that gift comes
responsibility. And you don't understand
that he's at a fragile point--

SEAN
He is at a fragile point. He's got
problems--

LAMBEAU
What problems does he have, Sean, that
he is better off as a janitor or in jail
or hanging around with--
SEAN
Why do you think he does that, Gerry?

LAMBEAU
He can handle the work, he can handle
the pressure and he's obviously handled
you.

SEAN
Why is he hiding? Why is he a janitor?
Why doesn't he trust anybody? Because
the first thing that happened to him was
that he was abandoned by the people who
were supposed to love him the most!

LAMBEAU
Oh, come on, Sean--

SEAN
And why does he hang out with his
friends? Because any one of those kids
would come in here and take a bat to
your head if he asked them to. It's
called loyalty!

LAMBEAU
Oh, that's nice--

SEAN
And who do you think he's handling? He
pushes people away before they have a
chance to leave him. And for 20 years
he's been alone because of that. And if
you try to push him into this, it's
going to be the same thing all over
again. And I'm not going to let that
happen to him!

LAMBEAU
Now don't do that. Don't you do that!
Don't infect him with the idea that it's
okay to quit. That it's okay to be a
failure, because it's not okay! If
you're angry at me for being successful,
for being what you could have been--

SEAN
--I'm not angry at you--

LAMBEAU
--Yes you are, Sean. You resent me. And
I'm not going to apologize for any
success that I've had.

SEAN
--I don't have any anger at you--
LAMBEAU
Yes you do. You're angry at me for doing
what you could have done. Ask yourself
if you want Will to feel that way for
the rest of his life, to feel like a
failure.

SEAN
That's it. That's why I don't come to
the goddamn reunions! Becaue I can't
stand the look in your eye when you see
me! You think I'm a failure! I know who
I am. I'm proud of who I am. And all of
you, you think I'm some kind of pity
case! You with your sycophant students
following you around. And you Goddamn
Medal!

LAMBEAU
--Is that what this is about, Sean? The
Field's Medal? Do you want me to go home
and get it for you? Then will you let
the boy--

SEAN
--I don't want your trophy and I don't
give a shit about it! 'Cause I knew you
when!! You and Jack and Tom Sanders. I
knew you when you were homesick and
pimply-faced and didn't know what side
of the bed to piss on!

LAMBEAU
That's right! You were smarter than us
then and you're smarter than us now! So
don't blame me for how your life turned
out. It's not my fault.

SEAN
I don't blame you! It's not about that!
It's about the boy! 'Cause he's a good
kid! And I won't see this happen to him-
- I won't see you make him feel like a
failure too!

LAMBEAU
He won't be a failure!

SEAN
If you push him into something, if you
ride him--

LAMBEAU
You're wrong, Sean. I'm where I am today
because I was pushed. And because I
learned to push myself!
SEAN
He's not you!

A beat. Lambeau turns, something catches his eye. Sean turns to
look, IT'S WILL. He is standing in the doorway.

WILL
I can come back.

LAMBEAU
No, that's fine, Will. I was just
leaving.

There is an awkward moment as Lambeau gets his coat and leaves.

WILL
Well, I'm here.
(beat)
So, is that my problem? I'm afraid of
being abandoned? That was easy.

SEAN
Look, a lot of that stuff goes back a
long way. And it's between me and him
and it has nothing to do with you.

WILL
Do you want to talk about it?

Sean smiles. A beat. Will sees a FILE on Sean's desk.

WILL (cont'd)
What's that?

SEAN
Oh, this is your file. I have to send it
back to the Judge with my evaluation.

WILL
You're not going to fail me are you?

Sean smiles.

WILL (cont'd)
So what's it say?

SEAN
You want to read it?

WILL
No.
(beat)
Have you had any experience with that?

SEAN
Twenty years of counselling you see a
lot of--
WILL
--No, have you had any experience with
that?

SEAN
Yes.

WILL
(smiles)
It sure ain't good.

Genres: Drama
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Confrontational

Summary In Sean's office, Sean and Lambeau engage in a tense argument about how to approach Will's education and future, with Sean wanting to protect Will from feeling like a failure and Lambeau pushing for Will's academic success. The conflict remains unresolved, but they agree to let Will decide for himself. The scene ends with Will arriving and overhearing their conversation, leading to an awkward moment as Lambeau leaves and Will and Sean decide to discuss the situation.

Strengths

Intense emotional conflict
Sharp dialogue
Revealing character dynamics

Weaknesses

Some repetitive arguments
Lack of resolution in the scene

General Critique

The scene is very dialogue-heavy, which can make it feel static and lack visual interest. Consider adding more action or movement to break up the dialogue and keep the audience engaged.
The scene is primarily composed of two characters arguing, which can create a sense of tension and conflict, but can also become monotonous if not broken up with moments of levity or resolution. Consider adding moments of humor or camaraderie to balance out the intensity.
The scene is very emotionally charged, with both characters expressing strong opinions and feelings. While this can create a sense of drama and urgency, it can also become overwhelming if not balanced with moments of calm or reflection. Consider adding moments of introspection or vulnerability to give the audience a chance to connect with the characters on a deeper level.

General Suggestions

Add more visual interest by incorporating action or movement into the scene. For example, have the characters pacing or gesturing as they argue, or include a visual element that reflects the tension between them.
Break up the intensity of the argument with moments of humor or camaraderie. For example, have the characters share a moment of connection or understanding, or include a lighthearted moment that relieves the tension and makes the audience more invested in their relationship.
Add moments of introspection or vulnerability to give the audience a chance to connect with the characters on a deeper level. For example, have one of the characters express a moment of doubt or uncertainty, or include a moment of reflection that shows the characters in a more vulnerable light.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene is highly impactful due to the emotional intensity and conflict between the characters, driving the narrative forward and setting up important character dynamics.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of success, failure, and abandonment is central to the scene, exploring the complexities of personal history and its impact on present decisions.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as the conflict between Sean and Lambeau escalates, revealing key information about Will's past and the stakes involved in his future.

Originality: 8

The scene is original in its approach to mentorship and personal growth, presenting a fresh perspective on the importance of empathy and understanding in guiding others.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their motivations are clear, adding depth to the scene and driving the emotional conflict forward.

Character Changes: 8

The scene marks a turning point for the characters, particularly Sean, as they confront their own insecurities and motivations, leading to potential growth and change.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to protect the young man from feeling like a failure and being pushed into something he doesn't want. This reflects the protagonist's deeper need to help others and make a positive impact.

External Goal: 8

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to defend his methods of mentoring and counseling the young man against the antagonist's criticism and pressure.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 10

The conflict between Sean and Lambeau is intense and drives the emotional tension of the scene, highlighting the high stakes involved in Will's future.

Opposition: 9

The opposition in the scene is strong, with conflicting goals and motivations driving the characters' actions and dialogue.

High Stakes: 9

The stakes are high in the scene, as the characters grapple with the future of Will and the impact of their decisions on his life, adding tension and urgency to the narrative.

Story Forward: 9

The scene moves the story forward by revealing key information about the characters and their relationships, setting up important conflicts and decisions for the future.

Unpredictability: 8

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists and turns in the characters' motivations and actions.

Philosophical Conflict: 9

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the clash between different approaches to mentorship and personal growth. The protagonist values empathy and understanding, while the antagonist values discipline and success.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The emotional impact of the scene is significant, as the characters confront their pasts and present decisions, leading to a powerful and intense exchange.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is sharp, intense, and reveals the inner thoughts and emotions of the characters, creating a tense atmosphere and driving the conflict.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the intense and emotionally charged dialogue, as well as the high stakes conflict between the characters.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense through the characters' heated dialogue and confrontations.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene descriptions and character dialogue.

Structure: 9

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear character motivations and conflicts driving the dialogue and action.

INT. WILL'S CHILDHOOD APARTMENT -- FLASHBACK

From a child's P.O.V. we see a man, partially obscured by a
doorframe. The man turns toward the P.O.V.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

SEAN
(after a pause)
My dad used to make us walk down to the
park and collect the sticks he was going
to beat us with. Actually the worst of
the beatings were between me and my
brother. We would practice on each other
trying to find sticks that would break.

WILL
He used to just put a belt, a stick and
a wrench on the kitchen table and say
"choose."

INT. WILL'S CHILDHOOD APARTMENT -- FLASHBACK

A large, calloused hand sets down a wrench next to a stick.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

SEAN
Gotta go with the belt there...

WILL
I used to go with the wrench.

SEAN
The wrench, why?

WILL
Cause fuck him, that's why.
A long quiet moment.

WILL (cont'd)
Is that why me and Skylar broke up?

SEAN
I didn't know you had. Do you want to
talk about that?
(beat)
I don't know a lot, Will. But let me
tell you one thing. All this history,
this shit...
(indicates file)
Look here, son.

Will, who had been looking away, loos at Sean.

SEAN (cont'd)
This is not your fault.

WILL
(nonchalant)
Oh, I know.

SEAN
It's not your fault.

WILL
(smiles)
I know.

SEAN
It's not your fault.

WILL
I know.

SEAN
It's not your fault.

WILL
(dead serious)
I know.

SEAN
It's not your fault.

WILL
Don't fuck with me.

SEAN
(comes around desk, sits in front of Will)
It's not your fault.

WILL
(tears start)
I know.
SEAN
It's not...

WILL
(crying hard)
I know, I know...

Sean takes Will in his arms and holds him like a child. Will
sobs like a baby. After a moment, he wraps his arms around Sean
and holds him, even tighter. We pull back from this image. Two
lonely souls being father and son together.

Genres: Drama
Tone: Intense, Emotional, Reflective

Summary In this emotional scene, Will and Sean have a heartfelt conversation about their experiences with childhood abuse. Will shares the trauma of his father's physical abuse, and Sean consoles him, acting as a father figure. The scene includes flashbacks to Will's childhood and ends with a powerful visual of Will sobbing in Sean's arms, finding comfort and healing in their connection.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character development
Poignant dialogue

Weaknesses

Lack of external conflict
Limited action

General Critique

The dialogue between Will and Sean is repetitive and unnatural. The repetition of the line "It's not your fault" becomes tedious and undermines the emotional impact of the scene.
The transition between the flashback and the present is abrupt and jarring. The flashback is introduced without any context or explanation, making it difficult for the audience to understand its relevance to the current conversation.
The scene lacks clear stakes and a sense of urgency. While it is implied that Will is struggling with the breakup with Skylar, this is not explicitly addressed or explored in a meaningful way.
The ending of the scene is anticlimactic and unsatisfying. The emotional climax of the scene occurs when Will breaks down in tears, but this is immediately followed by a return to a more subdued and mundane tone.
The scene relies heavily on exposition and lacks visual interest. The majority of the dialogue consists of characters talking about their past experiences, which can be difficult to translate to the screen in a compelling way.

General Suggestions

Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and varied. Avoid repeating the same line multiple times in a row.
Provide more context and explanation for the flashback. Consider using a visual cue or a voiceover to help the audience understand its relevance to the current conversation.
Raise the stakes of the scene by making it clear what Will stands to lose if he does not resolve his issues with Sean. Consider introducing a specific conflict or obstacle that he must overcome.
Extend the emotional climax of the scene by giving Will more time to process his emotions. Allow the audience to see him struggle with his feelings and come to terms with them.
Incorporate more visual interest into the scene by using flashbacks, montages, or other cinematic techniques to break up the exposition.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 10

The scene is powerful and emotionally charged, providing a deep insight into the characters' past traumas and their current emotional struggles.

Story Content

Concept: 9

The concept of exploring the effects of childhood abuse on adult relationships is compelling and adds layers to the characters' development.

Plot: 8

The plot advances as we see the characters' emotional vulnerabilities and the impact of their past experiences on their present relationships.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh and honest portrayal of the impact of childhood trauma on adult relationships. The authenticity of the characters' actions and dialogue adds depth and complexity to the narrative.

Character Development

Characters: 10

The characters are well-developed and their emotional depth is showcased in this scene, particularly with Sean and Will.

Character Changes: 8

Both Sean and Will experience emotional growth and vulnerability in this scene, leading to a deeper understanding of their characters.

Internal Goal: 9

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to come to terms with his past and the impact it has had on his relationships, particularly his breakup with Skylar. This reflects his deeper need for self-acceptance and healing from childhood trauma.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to seek validation and understanding from Sean regarding his past and current emotional state.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 7

The conflict is internal, revolving around the characters' emotional struggles and past traumas.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is subtle but impactful, as Will's internal struggles and emotional barriers create a sense of conflict and tension. The audience is left uncertain about how Will will confront his past and move forward.

High Stakes: 6

The emotional stakes are high as the characters confront their past traumas and seek comfort in each other.

Story Forward: 7

The scene provides insight into the characters' past traumas and emotional struggles, moving the story forward in terms of character development.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected emotional depth and vulnerability displayed by the characters. The shifting dynamics between Will and Sean keep the audience on edge, unsure of how the scene will unfold.

Philosophical Conflict: 8

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the struggle between self-blame and self-acceptance. Will grapples with feelings of guilt and shame, while Sean offers reassurance and support, challenging Will's negative beliefs about himself.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene has a high emotional impact, evoking strong feelings of sadness, empathy, and reflection.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is poignant and reveals the characters' inner turmoil and emotional struggles effectively.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of its raw emotional honesty, intimate character moments, and the gradual reveal of the protagonist's inner turmoil. The dialogue and interactions draw the audience in and create a sense of empathy and connection.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a gradual build-up of emotional tension leading to a cathartic release. The rhythm of the dialogue and character interactions enhances the scene's effectiveness and emotional impact.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, character names, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions enhance the emotional impact of the scene.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene effectively transitions between past and present, creating a seamless flow of emotional intensity. The dialogue and character interactions follow a natural and engaging progression.

INT. RED LINE CAR -- DUSK

Will rides the Red Line, above ground. He looks out over the
landscape. Small back yards, laundry hangs from wire lines.
Chainlink fences, overgrown with weeds.

EXT. SOUTH BOSTON PARK -- DAY

Will walking through South Boston. He cuts through a park. A
senior citizen is spearing trach for the city.

INT. WILL'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT

Will at home. Not reading. Looks up at the ceiling.

EXT. TRI-TECH LABORATORIES -- DAY

Will walks up to a nondescript building, he walks through the
glass doors, into the lobby.

CUT TO:

INT. TRI-TECH LABORATORIES, RECEPTION -- CONTINUOUS

Will walks into the lobby. A SECURITY GUARD looks up.

SECURITY GUARD
Can I help you?

WILL
Yeah, my name is Will Hunting. I'm here
about a position.

SECURITY GUARD
One moment.

The guard reaches for the phone.

DISSOLVE TO BLACK.

FADE UP to the sound of laughter.
INT. L STREET BAR & GRILLE -- DAY

Chuckie is again regaling Will and the guys at their table.

CHUCKIE
Oh my God, I got the most fucked up
thing I been meanin' to tell you.

MORGAN
Save it for your mother, funny guy. We
heard it before.

CHUCKIE
Oh, Morgan.

They both get up, in one another's face. This is a play fight.
"You gonna start?" "You gonna pay my hospital bills?"

WILL
Sorry to miss this.

INT. L STREET -- SAME

Will comes back from the bathroom.

WILL
(to Chuckie)
You and Morgan throw?

CHUCKIE
No, I had to talk him down.

WILL
Why didn't you yoke him?

CHUCKIE
Little Morgan's got a lot a scrap, dude.
I'd rather fight a big kid, they never
fight, everyone's scared of 'em. You
know how many people try to whip
Morgan's ass every week? Fuckin' kid
won't back down.

MORGAN
(from across the table)
What'd you say about me?

CHUCKIE
Shut the fuck up.

Billy walks in the door and give Chuckie a look. Chuckie turns
to Will.

CHUCKIE
(To Will)
Hey, asshole. Happy Birthday.
MORGAN
You thought we forgot, didn't you? I
know I'm gettin' my licks in.

Laughter as the boys converge on Will. He goes willingly out the
door.

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Humorous, Reflective, Intimate

Summary In this lighthearted and humorous scene, Will Hunting, a genius janitor, rides the Red Line and observes the landscape of South Boston. He then walks through a park and heads to Tri-Tech Laboratories for a job interview. The scene cuts to Will at a bar with his friends, where Chuckie and Morgan are playfully arguing. It is revealed that it is Will's birthday, and his friends give him a hard time. Despite the playful tension between Chuckie and Morgan, the tone of the scene is nostalgic and friendly, with the dialogue consisting of banter and playful insults. The visual elements include the landscape of South Boston, a senior citizen picking up trash in the park, and the interior of a bar with friends gathered around a table. The scene ends with Will willingly leaving the bar with his friends on his birthday.

Strengths

Strong character development
Engaging dialogue
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Limited external conflict
Some scenes may feel disconnected from the main plot

General Critique

The transition between scenes 37 and 38 is quite abrupt, with no clear connection between Will's emotional breakdown and his ride on the Red Line.
The scene at the Tri-Tech Laboratories lacks context and significance, as it is unclear how this job opportunity fits into the overall narrative and character development.
The dialogue in the bar scene is mostly casual banter, with little relevance to the emotional arcs of the characters or the themes of the story.

General Suggestions

Consider adding a line or two of dialogue or inner thoughts to bridge the gap between Will's emotional breakdown and his ride on the Red Line, to help the audience understand his state of mind.
To make the Tri-Tech Laboratories scene more impactful, connect it to Will's personal growth or conflicts, such as his fear of commitment or his struggle to find his place in the world.
In the bar scene, try to incorporate elements of the characters' emotional journeys or the story's themes, even in the form of subtle comments or reactions, to maintain the cohesion and depth of the narrative.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 8

The scene effectively balances humor with emotional depth, providing insight into the characters' relationships and inner struggles.

Story Content

Concept: 7

The concept of friendship, loyalty, and self-discovery is well-developed and drives the scene forward.

Plot: 7

The plot advances through character interactions and revelations, setting up future conflicts and resolutions.

Originality: 8

The scene demonstrates a level of originality through its focus on authentic character interactions and relationships. The dialogue feels fresh and engaging, offering a glimpse into the lives of working-class individuals in a relatable and compelling way.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-defined and their dynamics are engaging, with each contributing to the scene's emotional impact.

Character Changes: 7

Several characters experience emotional growth and self-realization, leading to significant changes in their perspectives and relationships.

Internal Goal: 8

Will's internal goal in this scene is to navigate his relationships with his friends and come to terms with his own identity and place in the world. This reflects his deeper need for connection and understanding, as well as his fear of being misunderstood or overlooked.

External Goal: 7

Will's external goal in this scene is to celebrate his birthday with his friends and enjoy a night out at the bar. This reflects the immediate circumstances of his social life and the challenges of maintaining relationships.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

The conflict is primarily internal, focusing on the characters' emotional struggles and personal revelations.

Opposition: 7

The opposition in the scene is strong enough to create tension and conflict, but not overwhelming. The playful banter and interactions between the characters add a layer of unpredictability and challenge to the scene.

High Stakes: 5

While the stakes are not extremely high in this scene, the emotional stakes for the characters are significant in terms of personal growth and relationships.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by deepening character relationships, introducing new conflicts, and setting up future developments.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected twists in the character interactions and dialogue. The playful banter and humor keep the audience on their toes, unsure of what will happen next.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict evident in this scene is the tension between loyalty and independence. Will's friends show loyalty and camaraderie by celebrating his birthday, but there is also a sense of independence and individuality in their interactions and banter.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 8

The scene evokes a range of emotions, from laughter to introspection, creating a strong emotional connection with the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is natural, witty, and reveals insights into the characters' personalities and relationships.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the naturalistic dialogue, humor, and relatable character dynamics. The interactions between the characters draw the audience in and create a sense of connection and authenticity.

Pacing: 9

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a balance of dialogue, action, and character moments that keep the audience engaged. The rhythm of the scene flows smoothly, building tension and humor effectively.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 8

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The visual descriptions and character actions are well-defined and easy to follow.

Structure: 8

The structure of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear transitions between locations and a focus on character interactions and dialogue. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.

EXT. L STREET -- CONTINUOUS

As they come out the door, rather tha beating Will mercilessly,
they stop. Morgan goes into his own, personal rendition of
"Danny Boy." No one joins in.

CHUCKIE
Shut up, Morgan.
(to Will)
Here's your present.

Chuckie indicates an old CHEVY NOVA, parked illegally in front
of the bar.

WILL
You're kiddin' me.

CHUCKIE
Yeah, I figured now that you got your
big job over in Cambridge, you needed
some way to get over there and I knew I
wasn't gonna drive you every day...

Laughter.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
Morgan wanted to get you a "T" pass.

MORGAN
No I didn't...

Will approaches the car to take a closer look.

CHUCKIE
But you're twenty-one now, so--

BILLY
--Yeah, now that you can drink legally,
we thought the best thing to get you was
a car.

More laughter. Will inspects the Nova.

WILL
You're kiddin' me.
(a beat)
This is the ugliest fuckin' car I ever
seen in my life.

Laughter, a beat.
WILL (cont'd)
(serious)
How the fuck did you guys do this?

CHUCKIE
Me and Bill scraped together the parts,
worked on it. Morgan was out panhandlin'
every day.

MORGAN
Fuck you, I did the body work. Whose
fuckin' router you think sanded out all
that bondo?

CHUCKIE
Guy's been up my ass for two years about
a fuckin' job. I had to let him help
with the car.

WILL
So, you finally got a job Morgan?

MORGAN
Had one, now I'm fucked again.

WILL
(to Chuckie)
So what do you got, a fuckin' Hyundai
engine under there? Can I make it back
to my house?

CHUCKIE
Fuck you. I re-built the engine myself.
That thing could make it to Hawaii if
you wanted it to.

Chuckie gives Will a look.

CHUCKIE (cont'd)
Happy 21, Will.

CUT TO:

Genres: Comedy, Drama
Tone: Humorous, Heartfelt, Light-hearted

Summary In this light-hearted and celebratory scene, Will expects a beating on his 21st birthday but is instead surprised with an old Chevy Nova by his friends Chuckie, Billy, and Morgan. The car, though a fixer-upper, is a result of their collective efforts, with parts gathered and worked on by all three. Initially, Will is resistant and dismissive of the car, but as he inspects it and realizes the amount of work his friends put into it, he comes to appreciate the gesture. The scene ends with Will appreciating the car and Chuckie telling him 'Happy 21, Will.'

Strengths

Authentic character interactions
Humorous dialogue
Heartwarming moments

Weaknesses

Low conflict level
Limited character development

General Critique

The scene is well-written with natural dialogue and humor that fits the characters and their relationships.
The pacing is well-managed, with a good balance between action and dialogue.
The scene's emotional payoff is strong, as the friends' gift to Will is a heartfelt gesture that highlights their bond.
The scene's structure is clear, with a strong opening that sets the tone and a satisfying resolution.

General Suggestions

Consider adding more sensory details to the scene, such as the smell of the bar or the feel of the car, to make it more immersive.
Explore the possibility of adding a minor conflict or tension to the scene, such as Will initially rejecting the car or the friends worrying about his reaction.
Consider further developing the characters' emotions and reactions to the gift, such as Will's surprise or the friends' pride in their work.
Consider adding a brief moment of reflection or contemplation for Will, as he realizes the significance of the gift and what it represents for his future.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively combines humor, heartwarming moments, and character dynamics to create an engaging and memorable sequence.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of surprising Will with a car for his birthday adds a fun and unexpected element to the scene, showcasing the friendship and support among the characters.

Plot: 8

The plot revolves around the birthday surprise and the interactions between the characters, adding depth to their relationships and advancing the story in a light-hearted manner.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh take on the theme of friendship and loyalty, presenting it in a humorous and relatable way. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and engaging, contributing to the originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed, each with their own distinct personalities and dynamics. Their interactions feel authentic and contribute to the scene's charm.

Character Changes: 5

While there are no significant character changes in this scene, it further solidifies the bond and dynamics between the characters.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to feel appreciated and valued by his friends, as evidenced by their efforts to surprise him with a car for his birthday. This reflects his desire for connection and belonging.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to have a reliable mode of transportation for his new job in Cambridge. This reflects his immediate need for practicality and independence.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

While there is some light-hearted banter and teasing among the characters, the overall conflict level is low, focusing more on camaraderie and celebration.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is moderate, with the protagonist questioning his friends' choices but ultimately accepting their gift. The audience is left wondering about the implications of the gift and the characters' relationships.

High Stakes: 2

The stakes are low in this scene, focusing more on light-hearted moments and friendship rather than intense conflict or drama.

Story Forward: 6

The scene contributes to the overall story by showcasing the characters' relationships and adding depth to their personalities.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because of the unexpected nature of the gift and the characters' reactions. The audience is kept on their toes as they try to anticipate the outcome of the scene.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

The philosophical conflict in this scene revolves around the characters' differing values on friendship, loyalty, and success. Will's friends show their loyalty through their unconventional gift, while Will questions their choices and motivations.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 7

The scene evokes a sense of nostalgia, friendship, and joy, resonating with the audience on an emotional level.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is witty, humorous, and reveals the camaraderie and banter among the friends. It adds depth to the characters and enhances the scene's entertainment value.

Engagement: 9

This scene is engaging because of the dynamic interactions between the characters, the humor, and the surprise element of the gift. The dialogue and action keep the audience invested in the characters' relationships and motivations.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building tension and humor, with well-timed beats and dialogue exchanges. The rhythm of the scene keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' interactions.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene follows the expected formatting for its genre, with proper scene headings, action lines, and dialogue formatting. The clarity of the formatting enhances the readability of the scene.

Structure: 8

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with clear action lines, dialogue, and character interactions. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Will sits across from Sean.

SEAN
Which one did you take, Will?

WILL
Over at Tri-tech. One of the jobs
Professor Lambeau set me up with. I
haven't told him yet, but I talked to
my new boss over there and he seemed
like a nice guy.
SEAN
That's what you want?

WILL
Yeah, I think so.

SEAN
Good for you. Congratulations.

WILL
Thanks you.
(a beat)
So, that's it? We're done?

SEAN
We're done. You did your time. You're a
free man.

A beat.

WILL
I just want you to know, Sean...

SEAN
You're Welcome, Will.

WILL
I'll keep in touch.

SEAN
I'm gonna travel a little bit, so I
don't know where I'll be.

Will smiles.

SEAN (cont'd)
I just... figured it's time I put my
money back on the table, see what kind
of cards I get.

Will smiles. Sean hands him a piece of paper.

SEAN (cont'd)
I'll be checking in with my machine at
the college. If you ever need anything,
just call.

Sean smiles.

SEAN (cont'd)
Do what's in your heart, son. You'll be
fine.

WILL
Thanks you, Sean.

They embrace.
SEAN
No. Thank you.

WILL
(re: embrace)
Does this violate the patient/doctor
relationship?

SEAN
Only if you grab my ass.

They laugh.

WILL
See ya.

SEAN
Good luck.

Both men smile.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama
Tone: Reflective, Supportive, Humorous

Summary In this emotional and uplifting scene, Sean and Will have their final therapy session. Will shares that he has taken a job at Tri-tech and they are done with therapy. Sean gives Will his contact information and encourages him to follow his heart. The scene is set in Sean's office during the day, and the tone is warm and positive, with Sean showing genuine support and care for Will. The key pieces of dialogue include Will telling Sean about his new job and Sean expressing his support and congratulations. The scene ends with Will leaving Sean's office, having completed his therapy and ready to move on to the next phase of his life.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Authentic character interactions
Closure and growth for characters

Weaknesses

Minimal plot progression
Lack of external conflict

General Critique

The scene is a bit too short and abrupt. It would be more effective if it were expanded to include more dialogue and action.
The dialogue is a bit stilted and unnatural. It would be more effective if it were rewritten to be more conversational.
The characters are not very well developed. The audience does not get a good sense of who they are or what they want.
The scene lacks a clear conflict. The audience does not know what the characters are trying to achieve or what is preventing them from achieving it.
The ending of the scene is not very satisfying. The audience is left with a sense of uncertainty about what will happen next.

General Suggestions

Expand the scene to include more dialogue and action.
Rewrite the dialogue to be more conversational.
Develop the characters more so that the audience can get a better sense of who they are and what they want.
Add a clear conflict to the scene so that the audience knows what the characters are trying to achieve and what is preventing them from achieving it.
Give the scene a more satisfying ending so that the audience is left with a sense of closure.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively wraps up the emotional arc between Will and Sean, providing closure to their relationship while setting the stage for new beginnings. The dialogue is poignant and the interactions feel genuine, adding depth to the characters.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of closure and new beginnings is well-executed in this scene, with the focus on emotional resolution and character growth. It ties up loose ends from previous interactions and sets the stage for future developments.

Plot: 7

While the plot progression is minimal in this scene, the emotional resolution between Will and Sean serves as a crucial moment in their character arcs. It sets the stage for the next phase of their journeys.

Originality: 9

The scene showcases originality through its nuanced exploration of mentorship and gratitude, as well as the naturalistic dialogue that captures the complexity of human relationships.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters of Will and Sean are well-developed in this scene, with their emotional vulnerability and growth shining through. Their interactions feel authentic and add depth to their relationship.

Character Changes: 8

Both Will and Sean undergo significant emotional growth and change in this scene, as they come to terms with their past and look towards the future. The scene marks a pivotal moment in their character arcs.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to express gratitude and closure towards Sean, his mentor. This reflects Will's deeper need for validation, acceptance, and guidance.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to inform Sean of his new job and express his appreciation for the mentorship he received. This reflects the immediate circumstances of Will transitioning into a new phase of his life.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 3

The conflict in this scene is minimal, focusing more on emotional resolution and character development. The tension comes from the emotional weight of the characters' interactions rather than external conflicts.

Opposition: 5

The opposition in this scene is minimal, as the focus is on the emotional resolution between Will and Sean rather than external conflicts.

High Stakes: 4

The stakes in this scene are more emotional and personal, focusing on the characters' internal struggles and growth. The resolution of their relationship has high stakes in terms of their emotional well-being.

Story Forward: 6

While the scene doesn't move the main plot forward significantly, it serves as a crucial moment in the characters' emotional journeys. It sets the stage for future developments and character growth.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat predictable in terms of the resolution between Will and Sean, but the humor adds an element of unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a philosophical conflict evident in this scene between the concepts of mentorship, guidance, and independence. Will is torn between seeking advice and making his own decisions.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene has a high emotional impact, as it delves into the deep emotional connection between Will and Sean. The vulnerability and honesty in their interactions evoke strong emotions in the audience.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue in this scene is heartfelt and meaningful, capturing the emotional depth of the characters' interactions. It conveys a sense of closure and new beginnings effectively.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the emotional depth of the characters, the sense of closure and growth, and the humor that lightens the mood.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is effective in building emotional tension and allowing for moments of reflection and connection between the characters.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of this scene adheres to the expected format for its genre, with proper scene headings, dialogue formatting, and action descriptions.

Structure: 9

The structure of this scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear character interactions and emotional beats that drive the narrative forward.

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE SEAN'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Will comes out of Sean's office and sees Lambeau walking up.

LAMBEAU
(surprised)
Will.

WILL
Hey, how you doin'?

LAMBEAU
You know, you're no longer required to
come here.

WILL
I was just sayin' goodbye to Sean.

LAMBEAU
(a beat)
Sam called me. From Tri-tech. He says
you start working for them next week.

Will nods.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
Well, that's, I think that's terrific.
Congratulations.

WILL
Thank you.
LAMBEAU
I just want you to know...It's been a
pleasure.

WILL
Bullshit.

They laugh.

LAMBEAU
This job... Do it if it's what you
really want.

WILL
I appreciate that.

A moment. Will starts to go, Lambeau watches him for a beat,
Will turns back around.

WILL (cont'd)
Hey, Gerry.

LAMBEAU
Yes.

WILL
Listen, I'll be nearby so, if you need
some help, or you get stuck again, don't
be afraid to give me a call.

LAMBEAU
(has to smile)
Thank you, Will. I'll do that.

Will smiles, turns and walks away.

INT. SEAN'S OFFICE -- DAY

Sean is packing his office. Lambeau opens the door.

LAMBEAU
Hello, Sean.

SEAN
Come in.

LAMBEAU
Sean...

SEAN
(a beat)
Me too.

A moment.

LAMBEAU
So I hear you're taking some time.
SEAN
Yeah. Summer vacation. Thought I'd
travel some. Maybe write a little bit.

LAMBEAU
Where're you going?

SEAN
I don't know. India maybe.

LAMBEAU
Why there?

SEAN
Never been.

Lambeau nods.

LAMBEAU
Do you know when you'll be back?

SEAN
(picks up a flyer from his desk)
I got this mailer the other day. Class
of Sixty-five is having this event in
six months.

LAMBEAU
I got one of those too.

SEAN
You should come. I'll buy you a drink.

Lambeau smiles.

LAMBEAU
Sean...

A beat.

LAMBEAU (cont'd)
The drinks at those things are free.

Sean smiles.

SEAN
Hell, I know that.

Both men laugh.

LAMBEAU
How about one now?

SEAN
Sounds good.

They start to walk out.
SEAN (cont'd)
It's on you though, until eight o'clock
tonight when I win my money.

Sean pulls out his lottery ticket. They start out down the hall.

CUT TO:

Genres: Drama
Tone: Reflective, Bittersweet, Hopeful

Summary Will excitedly shares with Lambeau his new job opportunity at Tri-tech, with Lambeau offering his congratulations and encouragement. Meanwhile, Sean is preparing for his time off, planning to travel and write, and invites Lambeau for a drink catch-up. The scene is set in the hallway outside Sean's office and in Sean's office during the day, with a friendly, nostalgic, and supportive tone. The visual element includes Sean packing up his office and the characters interacting in a positive and supportive manner.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Authentic character interactions
Poignant dialogue

Weaknesses

Lack of external conflict
Limited action

General Critique

The dialogue feels a bit forced and unnatural. It doesn't sound like the way people actually talk.
The scene doesn't really advance the plot or develop the characters. It feels like a filler scene.
The scene is too long. It could be shortened without losing any important information.
The ending of the scene is abrupt and unsatisfying. It feels like the writer didn't know how to end it.

General Suggestions

Rewrite the dialogue so that it sounds more natural.
Add some conflict or tension to the scene to make it more interesting.
Shorten the scene by cutting out unnecessary dialogue and action.
Give the scene a more satisfying ending by adding a resolution to the conflict or tension.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively captures the emotional complexity of the characters and their relationships, providing a satisfying conclusion to their story arcs.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of saying goodbye and moving on to new opportunities is well-executed, with strong character development and emotional resonance.

Plot: 8

The plot focuses on the emotional resolution between Will and Lambeau, providing closure to their dynamic and setting the stage for Will's new journey.

Originality: 8

The scene offers a fresh take on the mentor-mentee relationship, with realistic dialogue and subtle emotional nuances that set it apart.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters are well-developed and their interactions feel authentic and heartfelt, particularly in the final moments between Will and Lambeau.

Character Changes: 8

Will undergoes a significant emotional change as he says goodbye to Lambeau and prepares for a new chapter in his life.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal is to express gratitude and sincerity towards his mentor, Sean, while also asserting his independence and readiness for the new job at Tri-tech.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal is to say goodbye to Sean and express his appreciation for the mentorship received.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 4

While there is tension in the scene, particularly in the emotional farewells, the conflict is more internal and emotional rather than external.

Opposition: 5

The opposition in this scene is minimal, as the conflict is primarily internal and resolved through dialogue and character interactions.

High Stakes: 5

While the stakes are not incredibly high in this scene, the emotional weight of the farewells and the anticipation of Will's new job add a sense of importance to the events.

Story Forward: 7

The scene moves the story forward by resolving the relationship between Will and Lambeau and setting the stage for Will's new job at Tri-tech.

Unpredictability: 6

This scene is somewhat predictable in its outcome, as the protagonist's decision to move on to a new job is foreshadowed throughout the dialogue.

Philosophical Conflict: 6

There is a subtle philosophical conflict between the protagonist's desire for independence and the mentor's concern for his well-being and future choices.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 9

The scene evokes strong emotions, particularly in the heartfelt goodbye between Will and Lambeau, as well as the sense of new beginnings and growth.

Dialogue: 9

The dialogue is poignant and reflective, revealing the emotional depth of the characters and their relationships.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because of the heartfelt interactions between characters, the sense of closure and new beginnings, and the subtle emotional tension.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene is well-executed, with a natural flow of dialogue and character movements that maintain the emotional resonance and build towards a satisfying conclusion.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The scene is well-formatted and easy to follow, with clear scene headings and dialogue formatting that adhere to industry standards.

Structure: 9

The scene follows a traditional structure for a farewell moment, with a clear beginning, middle, and end that effectively convey the emotional beats.

INT. HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS

On their backs as they walk down the hall.

LAMBEAU
Sean, do you have any idea what the odds
are against winning the lottery?

SEAN
I don't know... Gotta be at least four
to one.

LAMBEAU
About thirty million to one.

SEAN
You're pretty quick with those numbers.
How about the odds of me buying the
first round?

LAMBEAU
About thirty million to one.

CUT TO:

EXT. BANK OF THE CHARLES RIVER -- AFTERNOON

Will sits alone, thinking. We hold on him for an extended beat
until he gets up and walks away.

104 OMITTED

EXT. SEAN'S APARTMENT -- EARLY EVENING

Begin final sequence.

A wide, establishing shot of Sean's apartment complex as the sun
is setting. The lights are on in one unit. A tighter shot
reveals Sean, in his apartment, packing his belongings in
cardboard boxes.

EXT. SEAN'S APARTMENT, STREET -- SAME

The camera cranes down from Sean's window and onto the street,
where we pan to reveal Will, sitting in his car and looking up
at Sean as he packs his things. Will's car is packed full of
clothes and books.

EXT. SOUTH BOSTON STREET -- SAME

Chuckie and the boys drive down the street in the Cadillac.
Morgan and Billy ride in the back, leaving the shotgun seat open
for Will.

EXT. SEAN'S APARTMENT -- SAME

Will holds an envelope which he slips in Sean's mailbox. He puts
the flag up and smiles as he looks up at Sean in his apartment
who is still unaware that Will is there.

EXT. WILL'S APARTMENT -- SAME

Chuckie pulls up in front of Will's house. He honks the horn,
waits a beat, then gets out and heads toward the house.

EXT. SEAN'S APARTMENT -- SAME

Will drives away from Sean's house. Sean hears the car pull out
and looks out the window. Sean sees Will's car pulling away.
Curious, he investigates.

EXT. WILL'S APARTMENT -- SAME

Chuckie walks up Will's front steps.

EXT. SEAN'S APARTMENT -- SAME

Sean walks out to the sidewalk and looks around. Seeing the
mailbox flag has been raised, he walks over to it.

EXT. WILL'S APARTMENT -- SAME

Chuckie knocks on Will's front door. There is no answer. He
waits a beat, looks in the window. An incredulous smile slowly
starts to form.

EXT. SEAN'S APARTMENT -- SAME

Sean opens the card Will left for him. It reads:

WILL
(in writing)
Sean-- If the Professor calls about that
job, just tell him, "Sorry, I had to go
see about a girl."
EXT. WILL'S APARTMENT -- SAME

Chuckie walks back towards his car unable to contain the broad
smile. He knows Will is gone. He shrugs in explanation to the
guys. Morgan takes Will's seat as they pull away from the curb.

EXT. SEAN'S APARTMENT -- SAME

We pan up from the letter to Sean. A broad smile comes over him.
This is a look we haven't seen. Sean is truly happy.

EXT. MASSACHUSETTS TURNPIKE -- SUNSET

Will is on the road, driving away. As we pull back and credits
roll, the car disappears into the horizon.

THE END

Genres: Drama
Tone: Reflective, Bittersweet, Hopeful

Summary In the final scene of 'Good Will Hunting', Sean and Lambeau walk down a hallway, discussing lottery odds. Meanwhile, Will sits alone by the Charles River before driving away from Boston. Sean packs his belongings in his apartment, while Chuckie visits Will's apartment to find it empty. Sean discovers a note left by Will, revealing that he has taken a job in California. The movie ends with Will driving into the horizon, as Sean smiles, content that his friend and student has found his path to happiness.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character development
Closure

Weaknesses

Lack of intense conflict
Predictable resolution

General Critique

The dialogue in this scene is a bit too on the nose and lacks subtext. For example, when Lambeau says, \"About thirty million to one,\" he is simply stating a fact, rather than using it to advance the plot or reveal character. This makes the dialogue feel flat and uninteresting.
The scene lacks a clear conflict or goal. What do the characters want, and how are they trying to achieve it? Without a clear conflict, the scene feels aimless and unfocused.
The ending of the scene is abrupt and unsatisfying. Will simply drives away, and we are left with no sense of closure or resolution. This leaves the reader feeling unsatisfied and wanting more.

General Suggestions

Add more subtext to the dialogue. For example, when Lambeau says, \"About thirty million to one,\" he could be using it to subtly mock Sean's optimism. This would make the dialogue more interesting and would help to reveal the characters' personalities.
Give the scene a clear conflict or goal. For example, Will could be trying to convince Sean to take a chance on his new job, or Sean could be trying to convince Will to stay in Boston. This would give the scene more focus and would make it more engaging for the reader.
Add a more satisfying ending to the scene. For example, Will could have a conversation with Sean about his decision to leave, or he could simply drive away, leaving the reader with a sense of closure.

Ratings

Overall

Overall: 9

The scene effectively wraps up the character arcs and storylines, leaving a lasting impact on the audience with its emotional depth and reflective tone.

Story Content

Concept: 8

The concept of closure and new beginnings is well-executed, providing a satisfying conclusion to the narrative.

Plot: 9

The plot ties up loose ends and resolves conflicts, setting the stage for the characters' next chapters.

Originality: 9

The scene offers a fresh approach to the theme of self-discovery and pursuing happiness. The characters' actions and dialogue feel authentic and relatable, adding to the originality of the scene.

Character Development

Characters: 9

The characters show growth and development, particularly Will as he makes a significant decision to move forward with his life.

Character Changes: 9

Will undergoes a significant change as he decides to leave his past behind and embrace a new future, showing growth and maturity.

Internal Goal: 8

The protagonist's internal goal in this scene is to make a decision about his future and pursue his own happiness. Will is contemplating his next steps and ultimately chooses to follow his heart and pursue a romantic interest.

External Goal: 7

The protagonist's external goal in this scene is to make a bold decision and take action to change his life. Will decides to leave his current situation behind and pursue a new path.

Scene Elements

Conflict Level: 6

While there is emotional conflict in the scene, the focus is more on resolution and closure rather than intense conflict.

Opposition: 6

The opposition in the scene is not particularly strong, as the focus is more on internal conflict and personal growth. Will's decision to leave is met with acceptance and understanding from the other characters.

High Stakes: 7

While the stakes are not life-threatening, the emotional stakes are high as the characters say goodbye to the past and step into the unknown future.

Story Forward: 8

The scene moves the story forward by resolving key conflicts and setting up the characters for their next journeys.

Unpredictability: 7

This scene is unpredictable because it keeps the audience guessing about Will's final decision and the outcome of his actions. The subtle hints and character interactions add to the unpredictability.

Philosophical Conflict: 7

There is a philosophical conflict between following societal expectations and pursuing personal fulfillment. Will's decision to leave everything behind challenges the conventional norms and values of his environment.

Audience Engagement

Emotional Impact: 10

The scene evokes strong emotions from the audience, particularly in the moments of farewell and new beginnings.

Dialogue: 8

The dialogue is poignant and reflective, capturing the emotional weight of the characters' farewells and new beginnings.

Engagement: 8

This scene is engaging because it captures the emotional journey of the protagonist, building tension and anticipation as he makes a life-changing decision.

Pacing: 8

The pacing of the scene contributes to its effectiveness by building tension and suspense as Will contemplates his choices and takes decisive action. The rhythm of the scene enhances the emotional impact.

Technical Aspect

Formatting: 9

The formatting of the scene follows the expected format for its genre, with clear scene headings, action lines, and dialogue. The visual descriptions enhance the atmosphere and mood of the scene.

Structure: 9

The scene follows the expected structure for its genre, with a clear setup, development, and resolution. The pacing and rhythm contribute to the effectiveness of the scene.

Good Will Hunting

Overview

Unique Selling Point

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Story Facts

Script Level Analysis

Screenplay Insights

Story Critique

Characters

Emotional Analysis

Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Themes

Logic & Inconsistencies

Scene Analysis

Scene Level Percentiles

Other Analyses

Unique Voice

Writer's Craft

Memorable Lines

Tropes

World Building

Correlations

Loglines

Unique Voice

Writer's Craft

Memorable Lines

Tropes

World Building

Correlations

Loglines

Recommend

Executive Summary

Screenplay Insights:

Screenplay Story Analysis

Will - Score: 86/100

Role

Personality

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

Dialogue And Voice 9/10

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Relationship Dynamics 9/10

Scene Impact 8/10

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Emotional Resonance 9/10

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

MBTI: intp

Suggestions