Dream Boy

A traumatized young woman confronts the personification of her fear when an occult board game turns her sorority into a feeding ground for a three-headed demon — blending adolescence, vanity, and folklore in a fight for agency.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The script for "Dream Boy" offers a fresh take on the haunted house/supernatural horror genre by grounding the story in the very real trauma and vulnerabilities of its protagonist, Riley. The exploration of how the past can haunt us, both literally and figuratively, gives the script a depth and emotional resonance that sets it apart. Additionally, the script's unique blend of psychological horror, occult mythology, and sorority sisterhood creates a compelling and distinctive narrative that would appeal to a wide audience seeking an intelligent, unsettling horror experience.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

GPT5
 Recommend
Gemini
 Consider
Grok
 Recommend
Claude
 Recommend
Average Score: 7.8
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
Lean into what already works: the vivid set pieces, the hair/phone/Polaroid motifs, and Riley’s survivor arc. Your priority creative fixes are (1) make the Dream Boy/game/ritual mechanics and limits explicit and consistent on-page so the audience understands cause-and-effect, and (2) deepen the three sisters with a few short, concrete beats that make their desires and vulnerabilities feel earned before the kills. Also trim or vary repetitive mid-act search sequences to preserve momentum and let the climax land with emotional weight.
For Executives:
Dream Boy is a female-led, festival-ready supernatural horror with a clear marketing hook (the retro pink game, phone, hair motif) and strong commercial potential among genre audiences. The script’s biggest production risks are mid-act pacing and rule-logic ambiguity that could confuse viewers and blunt word-of-mouth, plus some effects-heavy set pieces that will need careful budgeting/design. With targeted rewrites to tighten the rules and deepen the ensemble, this can be positioned as a high-impact indie horror with strong festival/streaming upside.
Story Facts
Genres:
Horror 65% Thriller 45% Drama 30%

Setting: Contemporary, with flashbacks to 1925 and 1975, A sorority house and campus library, primarily set in a college town

Themes: Trauma and its Lingering Effects, The Supernatural as a Manifestation of Inner Turmoil, Female Agency and Resilience in the Face of Adversity, The Cyclical Nature of Evil and Sacrifice, Deception and the Illusion of Safety, The Power of Belief and Fear, Identity and the Loss of Self

Conflict & Stakes: Riley's struggle against supernatural forces linked to her past trauma and the malevolent entity, Asmodeus, with the lives of her friends at stake.

Mood: Intensely suspenseful and horrifying, with moments of psychological dread.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The incorporation of a cursed game that ties the characters' fates to their past traumas.
  • Plot Twist: The revelation that Sue has been manipulating events and is connected to the malevolent entity.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of Polaroid photos as a means of surveillance and supernatural connection.
  • Distinctive Settings: The eerie sorority house and its dark history create a compelling backdrop for the horror.
  • Genre Blends: Combines elements of psychological horror, supernatural thriller, and coming-of-age drama.

Comparable Scripts: The Ring, It Follows, Final Destination, The Haunting of Hill House, Scream, The Craft, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Conjuring, The Witch

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.84
Key Suggestions:
The script's core — Riley's arc and the Dream Boy concept — is strong. To lift the whole piece, prioritize two surgical revisions: (1) deepen Chelsea and Brooke so their choices, desires and fears parallel and collide with Riley’s (add short, revealing beats or a single focused flashback for each that explain what they risk and why they make the choices they do), and (2) tighten the supernatural rules of the Dream Boy game so the audience always understands the stakes and consequences (embed rule clarifications into natural dialogue or a discovered artifact rather than exposition dumps). These changes will increase emotional investment, make the late-act horrors land harder, and give the climax more resonance without changing your central mythology or tone.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script has a potent central premise and a compelling lead in Riley, but its emotional and narrative impact is diluted by uneven pacing and occasional reliance on familiar horror beats. Tighten the middle by trimming or combining scenes that prolong the descent into the basement, insert sharper, more revealing dialogue between the girls to raise emotional stakes, and give the sorority’s history and Sue a clearer, more specific role in the supernatural logic. Strengthening the antagonist’s agency (or clarifying the game’s rules and costs) and spacing quieter character moments against escalating set-pieces will make the scares land harder and Riley’s arc more satisfying.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
Center the script more tightly on Riley's emotional journey: sharpen her internal beats, clarify the catalytic turning points (Ethan's release, the Dream Boy discovery, the losses of friends), and make her agency obvious earlier so the audience is carried by her transformation from fearful survivor to active opponent. At the same time, deepen at least one supporting character (preferably Brooke or Chelsea) so their fates land with emotional consequence rather than shock value alone. Small changes — a few revealing flashbacks, more internal reactions, and concrete choices that escalate her commitment — will convert spectacle into meaningful stakes.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script delivers strong, visceral horror and memorable set-pieces, but it leans heavily on relentless dread and spectacle at the expense of emotional variation and character depth. To tighten craft, build intentional quieter beats and deeper character moments—especially for Brooke, Lilly, and the antagonists—so the audience can breathe, bond with the protagonists, and feel the stakes. Add short flashbacks or tender interactions after major scares, clarify Sue/Ethan motivations with brief reveals, and smooth transitions into climactic scenes to avoid emotional fatigue and make the payoff hit harder.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
To enhance the script, focus on deepening Riley's character development by further exploring her internal struggles and how they manifest in her interactions with the supernatural elements. Emphasizing her journey from vulnerability to empowerment can create a more compelling narrative arc. Additionally, consider tightening the pacing during the climactic moments to maintain suspense and engagement, ensuring that the audience remains invested in her fight against the oppressive forces.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
Lean into Riley's emotional journey: make trauma the engine of character choices (not just atmosphere) by showing concrete coping beats, regressions, and a clear turning point where she moves from survival to agency. Tighten the supernatural metaphor so recurring motifs (hair, Polaroids, the phone, the Dream Boy rules) feel like purposeful psychic logic rather than random set pieces—each motif should reflect a piece of Riley's interior work and be paid off in the climax. Clarify the game’s rules and concrete consequences early, then escalate them through cause-and-effect to preserve tension and avoid audience confusion. Finally, prune scenes that dilute momentum and re-sequence any repetitive ‘search-and-jump’ moments to keep pace sharp through Act 2 into a focused, cathartic Act 3.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
Tighten the script around two anchor elements: Riley’s emotional throughline and the Dream Boy game’s internal logic. Make Riley’s trauma, coping, and choices consistent across scenes so her reactions feel earned (fear, forced sarcasm, momentary bravado must all tie back to a clear trauma-driven motivation). Equally, codify the game’s rules and consequences early and enforce them consistently so supernatural beats land as cause-and-effect rather than random jumps. Trim redundant beats (repeated breathing exercises and repeated ‘we’re scared’ reactions) and smooth abrupt transitions (library → sorority) by showing concrete motivation or a linking action.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
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Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
Your writing voice is a major asset — rich, sensory, and consistently suspenseful — but the script would benefit from sharpening the underlying mechanics and the protagonist’s through-line. Tighten the supernatural rules (the Dream Boy game, hair-binding, Sue/Asmodeus bargain) and make them explicitly consistent across scenes so the audience can follow cause-and-effect. Trim or consolidate some spectacle-heavy set pieces and use those savings to deepen Riley’s arc: show incremental active choices that move her from reactive victim to strategic protagonist. Also streamline dialogue in places where description does the emotional work; let character choices, not only atmosphere, drive the escalation.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
Your screenplay already nails atmosphere and sustained, imaginative scares. To elevate it from a sequence of effective set pieces into a memorable feature, center every supernatural beat on Riley’s interior arc: clarify her wants, her deepest fear, and how each scene forces a choice that changes her. Tighten dialogue so it reveals subtext and conflict (rather than exposition), pace the reveals so the audience has brief emotional rests between shocks, and prune or rework scenes that don’t advance character or stakes. Use focused exercises (dialogue with opposing motivations, character monologues) and the suggested reading/viewing to translate your impressive visual voice into a resonant emotional payoff.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
You have a rich, visually arresting folk-horror world with strong motifs (hair, Polaroids, phones, ritual cycle) and a compelling emotional through-line in Riley’s trauma. The single biggest craft improvement is tightening the supernatural rules and making them explicit in the script so that each uncanny beat, escalation, and the final payoff feels earned. Anchor the horror in Riley’s emotional arc: show how the ritual’s logic (hair binds, the game’s rules, 50-year cycle) directly forces the choices she makes. Trim or consolidate repetitive surreal set pieces that don’t advance character or rule-exposition; instead use one or two trademark, well-explained mechanics that reappear and escalate with clear consequences.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis shows your biggest creative strength is the deployment of outright terror and desperation beats — they reliably deliver high emotional impact and escalate stakes. However, early- and mid-script scenes underuse character-driven dialogue, which correlates with weaker character change in those beats. To tighten the script, keep the terror elements intact (they’re working) but anchor them in sharper, more revealing dialogue and micro-conflicts earlier on so characters evolve alongside the scares. Small rewrites that give characters clearer wants, oppositions, and reactive lines in scenes 2–6 and 18 will raise both emotional resonance and payoff later.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.