Dream Boy
When a college girl whose stalker has just been released returns to her sorority house for winter break, a retro board game called 'Dream Boy' awakens an ancient hunger—forcing her to confront the monster who once owned her and fight to reclaim herself before the house claims her and her sisters forever.
See other logline suggestionsOverview
Unique Selling Point
The script's unique selling proposition is its fusion of real-world stalking trauma with supernatural horror mythology, creating a metaphor where personal demons become literal ones. The 'Dream Boy' game mechanic provides a fresh take on occult horror, while the sorority house setting adds layers of institutional history and female vulnerability. The final meta-twist (Sequence 33) creates memorable ambiguity about reality versus supernatural experience.
AI Verdict & Suggestions
Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.
Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries
Recommend
Recommend
Recommend
Recommend
Consider
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
For Executives:
Story Facts
Genres:Setting: Contemporary, A college campus and a sorority house, primarily set in the United States
Themes: Trauma and its Lingering Effects, Supernatural and Occult Forces, The Failure of Societal Protection and Support Systems, Fragility of Identity and Reality, Feminine Vulnerability and Resilience, The Power of Belief and Narrative
Conflict & Stakes: Riley's struggle against her past trauma from Ethan's stalking and the supernatural threats posed by the house and its history, with her life and sanity at stake.
Mood: Suspenseful and eerie, with moments of intense horror and psychological tension.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The integration of a supernatural game that ties into the characters' fears and traumas.
- Plot Twist: The revelation that the house has a dark history and is tied to the characters' pasts, particularly with the missing sorority girls.
- Innovative Ideas: The use of Polaroid photos as a supernatural element that reveals hidden truths and escalates tension.
- Distinctive Settings: The contrast between the seemingly normal college campus and the eerie, decaying sorority house.
Comparable Scripts: It Follows, The Ring, Final Destination, The Haunting of Hill House, Carrie, The Craft, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Pretty Little Liars, The Conjuring
Screenplay Video
The video is a bit crude as the tool is still Alpha code. Contact us if there's a problem or with suggestions.
Share Your Analysis
Sharing
Share URL:
Script Level Analysis
This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.
Screenplay Insights
Breaks down your script along various categories.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Story Critique
Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Characters
Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Emotional Analysis
Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Themes
Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Logic & Inconsistencies
Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Screenplay Insights
Breaks down your script along various categories.
Story Critique
Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.
Characters
Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.
Emotional Analysis
Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.
Themes
Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.
Logic & Inconsistencies
Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.
Scene Analysis
All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.
Analysis of the Scene Percentiles
- The script excels in concept and plot, both scoring at the highest percentile (100), indicating a strong foundational idea and well-structured narrative.
- High conflict level (99.54) and emotional impact (99.08) suggest that the script effectively engages the audience and creates tension, which are crucial for maintaining interest.
- Character changes (99.07) indicate dynamic character development, suggesting that characters evolve throughout the story, which can enhance viewer investment.
- The originality score (32.66) is notably low, indicating that the script may rely on familiar tropes or ideas. The writer should focus on infusing unique elements or perspectives into the story.
- The external goal score (78.39) suggests that while internal character motivations are strong, the external stakes or goals may not be as compelling. Enhancing the external conflict could elevate the narrative.
- Engagement score (53.02) and interest in showing (50) are relatively low, indicating that the script may not fully captivate the audience. The writer should consider ways to enhance the narrative's appeal and maintain viewer interest.
The writer appears to be more conceptual, with high scores in plot and concept elements, but lower scores in engagement and originality, suggesting a focus on structure over innovative character or dialogue development.
Balancing Elements- To balance the script, the writer should work on enhancing originality and engagement, ensuring that the compelling plot is matched by unique character arcs and captivating dialogue.
- Improving the external goal score could help align the internal character development with a more engaging external narrative, creating a more cohesive story.
- Focusing on pacing and unpredictability could also help maintain audience interest throughout the script.
Conceptual
Overall AssessmentThe script has strong foundational elements with high scores in concept and plot, but it requires improvement in originality and engagement to reach its full potential. By addressing these areas, the writer can create a more captivating and unique narrative.
How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library
Other Analyses
This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.
Unique Voice
Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Writer's Craft
Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Memorable Lines
World Building
Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Correlations
Identifies patterns in scene scores.
Exec Summary:
Key Suggestions:
Unique Voice
Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.
Writer's Craft
Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.
Memorable Lines
World Building
Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.
Correlations
Identifies patterns in scene scores.
Comparison With Previous Version
Changes
Table of Contents
- Originality - narrativeInnovation 0.2
- Conflict - stakesEscalation 0.5
- Premise - premiseClarity 0.5
- Originality - audienceEngagement 0.25
- Story Structure - plotClarity 0.25
Originality - narrativeInnovation
Score Change: From 8.5 to 8.7 (0.2)
Reason: The new revision enhances the originality of the narrative by deepening the integration of psychological trauma with supernatural elements, particularly through the unique mechanics of the 'Dream Boy' game. The revisions clarify the rules and consequences of the game, making it a more compelling metaphor for personal fears and societal pressures. Additionally, the character arcs are more intricately tied to the supernatural elements, allowing for a richer exploration of themes like visibility and agency. The vivid imagery and innovative horror sequences further contribute to the screenplay's originality, making it stand out in the genre.
Examples:- Scene: Scene 11 - The introduction of the 'Dream Boy' game in Scene 11 is more clearly defined, with explicit rules that enhance its role as a narrative device, making the stakes feel more personal and immediate.
- Scene: Scene 14 - The mirror scene in Scene 14 now incorporates more character-specific fears, making the horror feel tailored and personal, which adds depth to the narrative.
- Type: general - Overall, the revisions have introduced more unique horror elements and character-driven scares, enhancing the screenplay's originality and engagement potential.
Conflict - stakesEscalation
Score Change: From 8.75 to 9.25 (0.5)
Reason: The new revision significantly improves the escalation of stakes by providing clearer connections between Riley's personal trauma and the supernatural threats posed by the 'Dream Boy' game. The stakes are heightened through more dynamic interactions and consequences that directly affect the characters, particularly in their confrontations with the game and its manifestations. The pacing of the horror sequences has been refined to maintain tension and urgency, ensuring that each character's fate feels impactful and tied to their individual arcs. This creates a more engaging and suspenseful narrative overall.
Examples:- Scene: Scene 21 - In Scene 21, the stakes are escalated as Lilly's encounter with Zane becomes more intense and personal, showcasing the immediate danger posed by the game and its supernatural elements.
- Old Scene: Scene 34, New Scene: Scene 30 - The climax in Scene 30 now features a more pronounced escalation of conflict, with Riley's confrontation with Sue and the demon feeling more urgent and high-stakes, enhancing the emotional payoff.
- Type: general - The overall structure of the screenplay now allows for a more gradual build-up of tension, with each character's demise feeling more significant and tied to their personal struggles.
Premise - premiseClarity
Score Change: From 8.5 to 9 (0.5)
Reason: The clarity of the premise has improved in the new revision due to more explicit exposition of the game's rules and the historical context of the sorority house's curse. The revisions provide a clearer understanding of the stakes involved and the motivations behind the characters' actions, making it easier for the audience to follow the narrative. The integration of Riley's backstory with the supernatural elements is now more seamless, enhancing the overall coherence of the premise and ensuring that the audience remains engaged throughout.
Examples:- Scene: Scene 11 - The rules of the 'Dream Boy' game are now presented more clearly in Scene 11, allowing the audience to grasp the stakes and mechanics without confusion.
- Scene: Scene 19 - The flashback in Scene 19 now provides more context about Sue's motivations and the history of the curse, enhancing the clarity of the premise.
- Type: general - Overall, the revisions have made the premise more accessible and engaging, ensuring that the audience can easily follow the narrative's progression.
Originality - audienceEngagement
Score Change: From 8.75 to 9 (0.25)
Reason: The new revision enhances audience engagement through more dynamic character interactions and a clearer emotional through-line. The revisions have introduced more unique horror elements that resonate with contemporary fears, such as the pressures of visibility and societal expectations. The character arcs are now more intricately tied to the supernatural elements, allowing for a deeper emotional investment from the audience. The pacing has also been refined to maintain tension and suspense, ensuring that the audience remains captivated throughout the screenplay.
Examples:- Scene: Scene 3 - The interactions among the sorority sisters in Scene 3 are now more engaging, with deeper emotional stakes that draw the audience into their relationships and individual struggles.
- Scene: Scene 14 - The mirror scene in Scene 14 now incorporates more character-specific fears, making the horror feel tailored and personal, which enhances audience engagement.
- Type: general - Overall, the revisions have created a more engaging narrative that resonates with audiences, making them more invested in the characters' journeys and the unfolding horror.
Story Structure - plotClarity
Score Change: From 8.75 to 9 (0.25)
Reason: The structure of the screenplay has improved in the new revision, with clearer plot progression and more effective pacing. The integration of flashbacks and character arcs is now more seamless, allowing for a smoother narrative flow. The revisions have also tightened the connections between the supernatural elements and the characters' personal struggles, enhancing the overall clarity of the plot. This results in a more coherent and engaging story that maintains audience interest throughout.
Examples:- Scene: Scene 19 - The flashback in Scene 19 now provides clearer context about Sue's motivations and the history of the curse, enhancing the plot's clarity.
- Old Scene: Scene 34, New Scene: Scene 30 - The climax in Scene 30 now features a more pronounced escalation of conflict, with Riley's confrontation with Sue and the demon feeling more urgent and high-stakes, enhancing the plot's clarity.
- Type: general - Overall, the revisions have made the plot more accessible and engaging, ensuring that the audience can easily follow the narrative's progression.
Script•o•Scope
Pass / Consider / Recommend Analysis
Top Takeaways from This Section
GPT5
Executive Summary
- Powerful, cinematic set pieces and imagery—opening bedroom abduction (Sequence 1) hooks immediately; attic showdown (Sequence 30) delivers a layered, mythic confrontation. Visual motifs (polaroids, hair, sigil) recur effectively and create a cohesive aesthetic. high ( Scene 1 (INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT) Scene 30 (INT. ATTIC - NIGHT) )
- Strong central protagonist arc: Riley’s emotional through-line from terrified victim to active agent is clear and compelling — small repeated breathing exercises, textbook sigil discovery, and final refusal (Sequence 33) create consistent growth. high ( Scene 2 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) Scene 33 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT (end)) )
- Inventive, original antagonists: the Dream Boys concept — glossy, plastic-beauty monsters tied to a board game — is fresh and provides varied, escalating horror set pieces (phones, mirrors, TV). high ( Scene 9 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (game)) Scene 16 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (Brooke/TV)) )
- Effective ensemble dynamics and tonal shifts: the sorority-sister interactions start grounded and realistic, providing necessary emotional contrast for the supernatural invasion and making losses feel personal. medium ( Scene 7 (INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT (establishing sisters)) )
- Varied scare mechanics & practical body-horror: mirrors, reflections, body-erasure and the party-skin/tear imagery are unsettling and craft memorably grotesque moments that linger beyond jump scares. medium ( Scene 12 (INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT (Chelsea mirror)) Scene 22 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (Lilly party)) )
- Supernatural rules and mechanics need clarification and tighter internal logic (how the game chooses, the exact consequences of rule-breaking, the connection between hair/Polaroids/phone). At times the escalation feels reactive rather than rule-driven, which undercuts stakes. high ( Scene 9 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (game)) Scene 21 (INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT) )
- Supporting characters have strong moments but uneven emotional arcs—Chelsea, Brooke, Lilly function as victims for powerful set-pieces but receive limited pre- and post- emotional development. Their deaths hit as spectacle more than tragedy. high ( Scene 7 (INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT (establishing sisters)) Scene 16 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (Brooke TV death)) )
- Aftermath and practical consequences are undercooked. Post-climax resolution gives Riley immediate survival but little on legal, psychological, or community fallout; a richer denouement would deepen emotional payoff. medium ( Scene 31 (EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - MORNING) Scene 32 (INT. POLICE CRUISER - MORNING) )
- Exposition delivery: some critical backstory (Sue’s pact and the house’s history) is given via retro flashback that works but could be integrated more organically earlier to increase dramatic irony and urgency. medium ( Scene 19 (INT. SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT (Flashback Sue)) )
- Pacing: while individual scenes are vivid, a middle section contains repeating 'room flips' (bathroom → chorus of hauntings → kitchen normality → surreal party) that risk losing narrative forward momentum. Trim or consolidate similar beats to maintain escalation. medium ( Scene 23 (INT. BASEMENT -> GYM (dream)) Scene 24 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (cookie scene)) )
- A clearer emotional/psychological denouement for Riley — some time to process, a therapy/peer-resolution scene, or a public reckoning with Sue and the house would solidify the protagonist arc and allow audiences to breathe after the horror. high ( Scene 31 (EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - MORNING) )
- Origins and stakes of Asmodeus and the 'fifty-year' cycle could be expanded. The Asmodeus presence is powerful but feels more symbolic than fully explained; adding a concise mythology moment would amplify stakes. medium ( Scene 30 (INT. ATTIC - NIGHT) )
- Motivation for Sue beyond 'I serve the master'—a scene showing her internal conflict or the last time she resisted would humanize her and complicate the antagonist role, making the final choice more morally ambiguous. medium ( Scene 20 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (phone hair-doll)) )
- A stronger connective tissue explaining how the Dream Boy board/game arrived in the house—who made it, when—and its ties to earlier vanished sisters would tidy the world-building. low
- More on the lived experience of victims (e.g., more small, quiet scenes of Riley navigating campus safety, police contact, or therapy) to ground the supernatural as a metaphor for stalking/trauma. medium ( Scene 12 (INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT (Chelsea mirror)) )
- The Dream Boy game is a strong marketable hook—an object that merges nostalgia, consumer culture, and predation in a single visual prop. It's memorable and pitchable. high ( Scene 9 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (game)) )
- Body-horror set pieces (mirrors, TV-stage, birthday-party erasure) are original and executed with strong sensory detail—these are standout sequences that will play well on screen and in marketing. high ( Scene 12 (INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT (Chelsea mirror)) Scene 16 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (Brooke on TV)) )
- Recurring motif of being 'seen'—polaroids, voicemail release notice, the rules about answering calls—gives thematic unity. The script uses the metaphor of visibility to explore stalking and autonomy effectively. high ( Scene 2 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) )
- The opening is immediate and cinematic; it establishes stakes, the antagonist (Ethan), and Riley's vulnerability in a single, terrifying burst—very effective for hooking an audience. medium ( Scene 1 (INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT) )
- The script balances personal trauma with supernatural spectacle — the climax fuses the emotional and the monstrous in a way that sells the protagonist's inner victory as well as the external defeat. high ( Scene 30 (INT. ATTIC - NIGHT) Scene 23 (INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM – CONTINUOUS) )
- Supporting Character Depth Most supporting characters (Chelsea, Brooke, Lilly) are given memorable moments and unique deaths but lack fully realized arcs or interiority; their functions skew toward catalyzing horror rather than being fully three-dimensional people. Example: Brooke's TV death is a brilliant set piece (Sequence 16) but we have little pre-history beyond surface-level traits to make the loss weigh more dramatically. high
- Supernatural Mechanics Clarity The rules of the Dream Boy game, the sigil, and the fifty-year pact are evocative but not always internally consistent. Scenes where rules are broken (picking up after 4 rings, hanging up) produce immediate consequences, but the causal chain between action and outcome is sometimes fuzzy (seen in Sequences 9, 13, 21). This can reduce suspense because audiences may not predict stakes reliably. high
- Trauma Aftercare While the script centers trauma thematically and gives Riley agency, it rarely sustains the real-world fallout—police, therapy, university response—beyond cursory beats (Sequences 31-32). This may undercut the script's emotional realism for audiences attuned to trauma narratives. medium
- Over-reliance on set-piece shock Several scenes push for a vivid shock or visual horror without sufficient connective tissue: repeating room transformations and a series of escalating scares occasionally feel like 'checklist' scares rather than organically grown narrative beats (middle of script, e.g., Sequences 11–24). Trimming similar beats and focusing each on character consequence will reduce the sense of spectacle-for-spectacle's-sake. medium
- Telling over showing in exposition Some backstory (the house’s history, Sue’s bargain) is delivered in a way that feels expositional rather than dramatized—flashback to Sue (Sequence 19) explains critical history but could be more visceral or integrated into present actions rather than a talk-heavy scene. medium
- Rule inconsistency The 'rules' card sets constraints that are sometimes inconsistently applied; characters break rules and the consequences vary in intensity and logic (Sequence 9 vs. Sequence 13). This is a common amateur pitfall in high-concept horror and should be tightened. high
Grok
Executive Summary
- The script excels in building atmospheric dread through vivid sensory details like creaking floors, flickering lights, and symbolic motifs (e.g., moths, drafts), immersing the audience in a haunted, living house from the opening sequences. high ( Scene 1 Scene 2 )
- Riley's arc from traumatized victim to empowered survivor is consistently portrayed, with her past stalking trauma (Ethan) mirroring the supernatural threats, providing emotional depth and thematic resonance on reclaiming agency. high ( Scene 1 Scene 20 Scene 23 )
- The climax delivers a satisfying payoff with ritualistic horror elements, breaking the curse through Riley's blood and release incantation, tying back to the 'HAIR BINDS. BLOOD RELEASES' motif for a cohesive resolution. high ( Scene 30 )
- Dialogue effectively reveals character insecurities (e.g., Chelsea's fear of fading, Lilly's invisibility) while advancing the plot, blending natural banter with subtle foreshadowing of the horror. medium ( Scene 7 Scene 9 )
- Creative body horror transformations (e.g., Chelsea's aging reflection, Brooke's unhinging jaw, Lilly's erasure into confetti) elevate the kills beyond jumpscares, making each death visually striking and tied to personal fears. medium ( Scene 12 Scene 16 Scene 22 )
- Supporting characters like Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly feel archetypal and underdeveloped, with their insecurities introduced but not deeply explored before their deaths, reducing emotional investment in the ensemble. high ( Scene 7 Scene 9 )
- Mid-script pacing drags with repetitive rule-breaking sequences and phone rings, creating buildup but risking redundancy before the escalating deaths. medium ( Scene 9 Scene 11 Scene 13 )
- Sue's backstory reveal feels rushed and monologue-heavy, undermining her villainy; more subtle hints earlier could make her motivations more nuanced. medium ( Scene 30 )
- Flashbacks to Riley's trauma are effective but interrupt the present-day momentum; integrating them more fluidly could maintain tension. low ( Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 )
- The twist ending loops back to the beginning effectively but risks feeling cyclical without clearer stakes for Riley's future, potentially undercutting the resolution's triumph. low ( Scene 33 )
- Deeper exploration of the sorority sisters' relationships pre-game; more bonding scenes could heighten the tragedy of their losses and contrast the horror. medium
- A clearer explanation of the 50-year cycle's mechanics beyond exposition; visual or prophetic hints could ground the lore without info-dumps. medium
- Sue's interactions with Riley hint at grooming but lack follow-through; expanding her manipulative role could tie personal and supernatural threats more tightly. low ( Scene 19 )
- Post-climax epilogue for Riley's therapy or support system; the ending emphasizes isolation, missing a beat of hope or lingering ambiguity. low
- Diversity in the cast's backgrounds; the script leans on universal fears but could incorporate varied cultural perspectives on the occult for richer themes. low
- The recurring 'HAIR BINDS. BLOOD RELEASES' sigil motif cleverly links Riley's textbook research to the ritual, symbolizing control and freedom. high ( Scene 2 Scene 20 )
- The false dream twist in the library ending masterfully blurs reality, reinforcing themes of paranoia and ensuring the horror lingers. high ( Scene 33 )
- Ethan's supernatural manifestation as Eddie personalizes the demon's temptations, blending Riley's real trauma with the occult for psychological horror. medium ( Scene 1 Scene 30 )
- Discovery of Polaroids and hidden closet adds layers of surveillance horror, echoing modern fears of being watched in a digital age. medium ( Scene 17 Scene 18 )
- Riley's breathing exercises as a grounding technique provide a realistic coping mechanism amid escalating supernatural chaos. low ( Scene 21 )
- Overreliance on visual horror tropes The writer leans heavily on body horror and jump scares (e.g., hands from phones in Sequence 20, melting faces in Sequence 16) without varying tension-building methods, potentially making the scares predictable for genre-savvy audiences. medium
- Underemphasis on ensemble dynamics While Riley's arc is detailed, the script misses opportunities to show pre-existing conflicts or bonds among the sisters (e.g., Sequence 7 banter feels surface-level), reducing the impact of their individualized deaths. medium
- Repetitive sound cues Frequent use of 'CREAK', 'RING', and 'POP' (e.g., across Sequences 1-9) without variation can feel formulaic, signaling less experienced formatting; professional scripts diversify auditory descriptions for freshness. low
- Expository monologues Sue's backstory dump in Sequence 30 halts momentum, a common novice error; integrating lore through visuals or fragmented reveals would elevate subtlety. low
Gemini
Executive Summary
- The script excels at building atmospheric dread and visceral horror, employing vivid descriptions of unsettling imagery, sound design, and psychological terror. The opening sequence immediately establishes a tone of menace, and subsequent horror set pieces, like Chelsea's transformation (Sequence 12) and Brooke's gruesome end (Sequence 16), are particularly effective. high ( Scene 1 Scene 9 Scene 12 Scene 16 Scene 20 Scene 30 )
- Riley's character arc is a significant strength. She evolves from a traumatized victim to a determined survivor and protector, actively fighting back against the supernatural forces. Her use of the hair doll and her defiance in the climax demonstrate strong agency and resilience. high ( Scene 9 Scene 15 Scene 20 Scene 30 )
- The integration of occult elements, particularly the Asmodeus illustration, the sigils, and the ritualistic aspects of the 'Dream Boy' game and the house's history, adds a compelling layer of thematic depth and narrative drive. Riley's research into these elements feels organic to her character. high ( Scene 9 Scene 21 )
- The 'Dream Boy' game mechanic is a unique and effective narrative engine. The rules, the personalized nature of the 'dream boys,' and the escalating consequences of breaking them create sustained suspense and drive the plot forward in a highly engaging manner. high ( Scene 9 Scene 13 Scene 20 )
- The script demonstrates a strong understanding of pacing. While some sections could be tightened, the overall narrative flow, particularly the escalating tension from the initial attack to the climactic attic confrontation, is effectively managed. The final scene offers a satisfying, albeit chilling, resolution. medium ( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 9 Scene 21 Scene 33 )
- While the supporting characters (Chelsea, Brooke, Lilly) serve their narrative functions, their individual development beyond their archetypes could be deepened. Their motivations and backstories are somewhat generalized, making their fates, while horrifying, less impactful than Riley's. More distinct individual arcs could elevate their sacrifices. medium ( Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 11 )
- The middle section of the script, particularly the transition from the setup of the game to the individual hauntings, feels slightly prolonged. While necessary for building suspense, some scenes could be condensed or their impact heightened to maintain a more consistent forward momentum. medium ( Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 11 )
- The introduction of Ethan and his brief appearance in Sequence 1 and the flashback (Sequences 3-5) is effective for establishing Riley's past trauma. However, his recurring role as a 'Dream Boy' manifestation in Sequence 33 feels slightly less impactful than the game's own supernatural entities. His ultimate fate or connection to Asmodeus could be more explicitly tied into the game's mechanics. low ( Scene 4 Scene 5 )
- The flashback sequence with Sue (Sequence 19) is crucial for exposition, but the dialogue can feel a bit on-the-nose regarding the house's nature and its 'needs.' Refining this dialogue to be more subtly ominous and less direct would enhance its effectiveness. low ( Scene 19 )
- The depiction of Lilly's 'erasure' by Zane is visually striking but could benefit from a clearer internal logic. The mechanics of how she is 'unwrapped' and becomes confetti, while symbolic, might need slightly more grounding within the established supernatural rules of the game or the house. low ( Scene 22 )
- A clearer explanation of the overarching mythology behind Asmodeus and its connection to the house and the 'Dream Boy' game would strengthen the script. While the sigils and rituals are present, the exact nature of the entity or entities being appeased or controlled by the game and the house could be more defined. medium
- The motivations of the house itself, beyond being a vessel for these entities, could be explored more. Is it a singular entity, a convergence of spirits, or a manifestation of accumulated trauma? Defining this would add another layer to the horror. low
- While Riley's victory is earned, the complete dismantling of the house's power and the fates of the 'Dream Boys' are somewhat ambiguous. A final beat establishing their permanent removal or containment could provide a more definitive sense of closure regarding the immediate threat. low ( Scene 30 )
- The recurring motif of 'hair' as a binding agent (hairpins, hair dolls, hair as literal walls) is a powerful and unsettling visual and thematic element that ties the supernatural mechanics together. high ( Scene 1 Scene 9 Scene 30 )
- Riley's resilience and her active pursuit of understanding and fighting the supernatural, rather than simply being a victim, makes her a strong and compelling protagonist. high ( Scene 21 Scene 30 )
- The body horror elements, particularly the transformations and 'erasures' of Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly, are graphically depicted and highly effective in conveying the stakes and the monstrous nature of the 'Dream Boys.' high ( Scene 9 Scene 12 Scene 16 Scene 22 )
- The use of setting as a character, particularly the sorority house, is strong. Its decaying grandeur, oppressive atmosphere, and historical secrets contribute significantly to the horror. medium ( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 6 Scene 7 )
- The cyclical nature of the horror, represented by Ethan's release and Riley's continued vigilance, suggests a chilling possibility that the threat is not entirely vanquished, adding a layer of lasting dread. medium ( Scene 2 Scene 33 )
- Narrative Mechanics The script establishes specific rules for the 'Dream Boy' game ('once started, it must be finished,' 'answer before the fourth ring,' 'do not hang up before he does,' 'speak the truth and not break a rule'). However, the application of these rules and their consequences can sometimes feel slightly inconsistent or conveniently bent to serve the plot. For instance, Riley's survival in the attic (Sequence 30) despite the game's apparent continuation (ringing phone in Sequence 33) raises questions about how she broke the cycle so definitively. medium
- Character Motivation While Riley's motivation to survive and protect herself is clear, the motivations of Sue, beyond serving 'thy master' (Sequence 30), could be further fleshed out. Her centuries-long pact and her role in 'feeding' the house are explained, but her personal investment or any sense of lingering humanity (or lack thereof) could be explored to add depth. Her final terror when the circle breaks suggests a complex relationship with the entity. low
- World-Building The exact nature and power of Asmodeus are somewhat nebulous. While its shadow appears and its name is tied to the occult sigils, its specific role and relationship to the 'Dream Boy' game and the house could be more clearly defined. Is it the source of the game's power, or is it merely a powerful entity attracted to the house's rituals? low
- Expositional Dialogue In some instances, dialogue delivers exposition in a way that feels slightly too direct or on-the-nose. For example, in Sequence 19, Sue's explanation of the house's history and needs is very explicit. While necessary for plot progression, it could be woven more subtly into the dialogue or conveyed through visual storytelling. low
- Repetitive Action The repeated emphasis on Riley's breathing exercises ('inhales -- in four. Hold. Exhales -- out six.') while effective for showing her coping mechanism, becomes slightly repetitive by the final act. While it reinforces her character, a slight variation or less frequent usage might maintain its impact. low
- Clunky Action The description of the 'Dream Boys' crawling along the banister like spiders and their synchronized, unnatural movements (Sequence 26) is visually striking but could be described with slightly more economy. The phrase 'boots slamming into melting wood' is also a bit unusual and might be better rephrased for clarity. low
Claude
Executive Summary
- The script opens with a strong, atmospheric sequence that immediately establishes the sense of dread and the supernatural elements at play. The library scene further develops the protagonist's backstory and her connection to the occult, setting up the central conflict. high ( Scene 1 (INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT) Scene 2 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) )
- The group dynamics and character interactions in the living room scene are well-written, with each character's personality and motivations clearly defined. The dialogue is natural and the tension between the friends is palpable. medium ( Scene 7 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The supernatural elements and the confrontation with the demonic forces are well-executed, with a strong sense of visual storytelling and a clear escalation of the stakes. The climactic sequence in the attic is particularly effective, blending horror, action, and emotional resolution. high ( Scene 23 (INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM - CONTINUOUS) Scene 30 (INT. ATTIC - NIGHT) )
- The flashback sequence provides valuable insight into the protagonist's backstory and her relationship with the house's matriarch, Sue. The subtle tension and the unsettling undertones in this scene are well-crafted. medium ( Scene 19 (INT. SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)) )
- The script's ending is strong, with a sense of resolution and a clear continuation of the protagonist's journey. The final scene in the library effectively sets up the potential for a sequel or further exploration of the story's themes and characters. high ( Scene 31 (EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - MORNING) Scene 33 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) )
- The pacing in the living room scene could be tightened, as some of the dialogue and character interactions feel a bit drawn out. Streamlining the exposition and focusing on the most essential character beats would help maintain the overall momentum. medium ( Scene 7 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The occult elements and the significance of the sigil and the ritual are not entirely clear. Providing more context and explanation around these elements would help the audience better understand the stakes and the rules of the supernatural world. medium ( Scene 2 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) )
- The transition from the high school gym sequence to the living room scene feels a bit abrupt. Smoothing out the shift between these two locations and ensuring a more seamless flow would improve the overall pacing and coherence of the narrative. low ( Scene 24 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) )
- While the group dynamics and character interactions are well-established, there could be more exploration of the relationships between the four friends. Delving deeper into their backstories and the emotional bonds that tie them together would further strengthen the script's character-driven elements. medium ( Scene 7 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) )
- The confrontation with the demonic forces and the resolution of the supernatural conflict could be further developed. Providing more details about the history and the nature of the entity known as Asmodeus, as well as the significance of the ritual and the sigil, would add depth and complexity to the script's horror elements. medium ( Scene 30 (INT. ATTIC - NIGHT) )
- The subtle, unsettling interaction between Riley and Sue in the kitchen flashback scene is a standout moment, effectively foreshadowing the darker elements to come and hinting at the complex power dynamics within the sorority house. high ( Scene 19 (INT. SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)) )
- The climactic sequence in the attic, with the confrontation between Riley and the demonic forces, is a highlight of the script. The visual storytelling, the use of the sigil and the ritual, and the emotional resolution of Riley's personal journey are all effectively executed. high ( Scene 30 (INT. ATTIC - NIGHT) )
- The final scene in the library, with the Polaroid photograph and the ominous phone call, effectively sets up the potential for a sequel or further exploration of the story's themes and characters. The script's open-ended conclusion leaves the audience intrigued and invested in Riley's ongoing journey. high ( Scene 33 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) )
- Lack of diversity The script primarily focuses on a group of white, cisgender characters, with limited representation of diverse backgrounds and perspectives. Expanding the diversity of the cast and exploring the experiences of characters from different racial, ethnic, and LGBTQ+ backgrounds could enhance the script's depth and appeal to a wider audience. medium
- Uneven pacing While the script generally maintains a strong pace, there are a few instances where the pacing feels uneven, such as the living room scene (Sequence 7) and the transition between the high school gym and the living room (Sequence 24). Tightening the dialogue and streamlining the exposition in these sections would help improve the overall flow of the narrative. medium
- Unclear occult elements The significance and the rules of the occult elements, such as the sigil and the ritual, are not always clearly explained. Providing more context and exposition around these supernatural elements would help the audience better understand the stakes and the logic of the story's supernatural world. medium
DeepSeek
Executive Summary
- Strong opening establishes immediate tension and Riley's trauma with visceral, cinematic horror imagery. The Ethan stalking backstory is effectively woven throughout. high ( Scene Sequence number 1 (INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT) Scene Sequence number 4 (INT. ENTRYWAY - CONTINUOUS) )
- Excellent horror set-pieces with creative, character-specific punishments (Chelsea's aging in mirrors, Brooke's laughter torture). Each death sequence reflects the character's core fear. high ( Scene Sequence number 9 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) Scene Sequence number 12 (INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT) )
- Sue's character and backstory are effectively revealed, providing necessary mythology without excessive exposition. Her motivation (century-old bargain) adds depth. medium ( Scene Sequence number 19 (INT. SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)) )
- Climactic confrontation delivers satisfying payoff with Riley using learned occult knowledge to defeat the entity. The hair/blood magic rules established earlier pay off. high ( Scene Sequence number 30 (INT. ATTIC - NIGHT) )
- Ambiguous ending creates memorable final scare and thematic resonance about trauma's persistence. The 'was it all a dream?' twist is executed effectively. medium ( Scene Sequence number 33 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) )
- Supporting characters (Chelsea, Brooke, Lilly) are underdeveloped archetypes. Their introductory scene (7) establishes personality traits but doesn't give them meaningful agency before they become victims. medium ( Scene Sequence number 7 (INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT) Scene Sequence number 9 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) )
- Pacing drags during middle act discovery sequences. The basement exploration and Super 8 film feel repetitive after previous horror set-pieces. medium ( Scene Sequence number 21 (INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT) Scene Sequence number 22 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) )
- Asmodeus entity feels underutilized despite buildup. The demon appears briefly without sufficient payoff for the mythological setup throughout. low ( Scene Sequence number 30 (INT. ATTIC - NIGHT) )
- Some horror sequences become repetitive in structure (character sees illusion, realizes it's fake, gets attacked). Could vary the approach to maintaining tension. low ( Scene Sequence number 24 (INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT) Scene Sequence number 25 (INT. LIVING ROOM - SECONDS LATER) )
- Final twist, while effective, risks undermining the emotional weight of previous events if audiences interpret everything as dream/nightmare. medium ( Scene Sequence number 33 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) )
- Clear rules for the 'Dream Boy' game mechanics are established but inconsistently applied. The consequences for breaking rules seem arbitrary at times (Chelsea hangs up immediately vs. Brooke answers late). medium
- Police/authority presence feels underdeveloped. After the intense opening with police, their absence during the supernatural events strains credibility despite the blizzard excuse. low
- Riley's occult knowledge acquisition happens mostly off-screen. While her textbook research establishes interest, her practical knowledge (hair binding, sigils) appears suddenly in climax. low
- The 50-year cycle mythology could use more concrete examples beyond 1975. Brief mention of other cycles would strengthen the house's history. low
- Character relationships between the sorority sisters lack depth beyond surface traits. More shared history or conflict would make their losses more impactful. medium
- Effective use of textbook occult research as both plot device and character development. Riley's academic interest in horror mirrors her personal trauma. medium ( Scene Sequence number 2 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) )
- Brooke's death sequence is particularly creative—transforming her fear of being a 'joke' into literal comedy club torture. Shows understanding of character-specific horror. high ( Scene Sequence number 16 (INT. LIVING ROOM - SAME) )
- Riley's trauma confession to Lilly creates meaningful character connection amid horror. This emotional beat strengthens both characters before separation. medium ( Scene Sequence number 21 (INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT) )
- Sue's backstory revelation adds tragic dimension to villain. Her century of feeding the house out of grief for lost husband creates sympathy amid horror. medium ( Scene Sequence number 30 (INT. ATTIC - NIGHT) )
- Ethan's ghostly appearance in police car creates effective 'is it real or trauma?' ambiguity that foreshadows final twist. medium ( Scene Sequence number 32 (INT. POLICE CRUISER - MORNING) )
- Supporting Character Development The writer focuses intensely on Riley's journey at the expense of giving Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly meaningful arcs beyond their fear-based deaths. Their introductory scene establishes personality traits (Chelsea's vanity, Brooke's humor, Lilly's melancholy) but doesn't develop these into full characters with agency. They exist primarily as victims to showcase different horror set-pieces rather than as people whose losses should impact Riley emotionally. medium
- Mythology Consistency While the occult rules are creatively established ('Hair binds. Blood releases.'), their application feels inconsistent. The consequences for breaking game rules vary in severity and timing. The 50-year cycle is mentioned but not fully explored—we only see the 1975 victims and current cycle. The Asmodeus entity, while visually striking, appears briefly without sufficient integration into the established mythology. low
- Expository Dialogue in Horror Sequences During tense horror moments, characters sometimes deliver explanatory dialogue that feels unnatural. Examples: Riley explaining occult rules to Lilly during chase sequences (Sequence 20: 'This game chose us. I think our dream boys are just—just delivering us to this house.'), or Sue's extended backstory monologue during the climax (Sequence 30). While necessary for plot, these could be more integrated into action. low
- Repetitive Horror Structure Multiple horror sequences follow similar patterns: character sees illusion, realizes it's fake, gets attacked. While each set-piece is creatively different in content, the structural similarity becomes noticeable (Chelsea in bathroom, Brooke with TV, Lilly at party, Riley in kitchen). Varying the approach to these sequences would maintain tension better. low
Summary
High-level overview
Title: Dream Boy
Summary: "Dream Boy" is a psychological horror thriller that follows Riley Carter, a young woman grappling with the traumatic aftermath of a sinister figure from her past, Ethan Rowe, who has recently been released from prison. The story unfolds in a series of haunting scenes that blur the lines between reality and supernatural horror.
The narrative begins with a chilling flashback to Riley's teenage years, where she first confronts Ethan, setting the stage for her deep-seated fears. As a college student, Riley's anxiety resurfaces during a late-night library session where she studies the occult, heightening her paranoia about Ethan's release. The unknown threat looms larger as she makes her way to a sorority house, the backdrop for increasingly surreal and terrifying events.
In the sorority house, Riley and her friends, Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly, navigate insecurities while engaging in a terrifying supernatural game known as "Dream Boy." As they unwittingly awaken dark forces, disturbing occurrences escalate, revealing hidden secrets and long-buried traumas connected to a sinister ritual that feeds on fear and despair.
The tension peaks during a series of nightmarish events. Girls go missing, haunted by their own reflections and supernatural apparitions. As Riley learns more about the house's history and confronts manifestations of her trauma, her internal struggle against fear and helplessness intensifies. Throughout her journey, she faces ghostly apparitions and mental hauntings that force her to confront both her past and the present dangers surrounding her.
As the sorority house morphs into a surreal nightmare, Riley's determination to expose and combat the malevolent force of Sue—a ghostly figure controlling the Dream Boys—drives the narrative toward its climax. In a final showdown in the attic, Riley battles dark entities and breaks a sinister pact, releasing trapped souls bound to the house while confronting her own demons.
The film concludes ambiguously with Riley in the aftermath of a traumatic event, haunted by memories of Ethan and her time in the sinister house. As she attempts to reclaim her life, the specter of her past lingers, leaving her—and the audience—wondering if she can truly escape the threats that haunt her. "Dream Boy" explores themes of trauma, fear, and the struggle for empowerment against overwhelming odds, blending psychological horror with moments of existential dread.
Dream Boy
Synopsis
In 'Dream Boy', we follow the harrowing journey of Riley Carter, a young woman haunted by her past and the specter of a former stalker, Ethan Rowe. The story begins with a chilling prologue where Riley, at 17, is attacked in her bedroom by Ethan, who is obsessed with her. Her mother, Sandy, intervenes just in time, but the trauma lingers. Fast forward three years, and Riley is now a college student, grappling with the psychological scars of her past. She is studying psychology, particularly the occult, in an attempt to understand her fears. The tension escalates when she receives an automated call notifying her that Ethan has been released from prison, sending her spiraling into panic.
Riley's life takes a darker turn when she and her sorority sisters—Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly—decide to play a mysterious board game called 'Dream Boy' during a blizzard. The game, which promises to connect players with their ideal partners, quickly reveals its sinister nature. As they play, the girls are drawn into a nightmarish reality where their deepest fears and insecurities manifest. Each girl faces her own personal demons, with Riley's past with Ethan looming large. The game forces them to confront their vulnerabilities, and as the night progresses, it becomes clear that the stakes are life and death.
As the supernatural elements of the game unfold, Riley discovers that the house they inhabit is tied to a dark history involving missing sorority girls from the 1970s. The game is a conduit for a malevolent force, Asmodeus, which demands sacrifices every fifty years. The girls must navigate the treacherous landscape of the game while trying to escape the clutches of their own fears and the entity that seeks to claim them. The tension mounts as Riley realizes that the game is not just a game; it is a ritual designed to bind them to the house and its dark past.
In a climactic confrontation, Riley must summon her courage to break the cycle of sacrifice. She learns that the only way to defeat the entity is to confront her own trauma and reclaim her power. The final act sees Riley battling not only the supernatural forces at play but also her own inner demons, culminating in a showdown that tests her resolve and strength. In the end, Riley emerges victorious, but not without scars, as she learns that the past can never be fully escaped, only confronted and understood.
The film concludes with a haunting reminder of the lingering effects of trauma, as Riley finds herself back in the library, only to discover that the nightmare may not be over. The final shot leaves the audience questioning the nature of reality and the shadows that lurk just beneath the surface of everyday life.
Scene by Scene Summaries
Scene by Scene Summaries
- In a dark bedroom, 17-year-old Riley Carter awakens gasping for air, only to discover unsettling Polaroids of herself asleep. As she is attacked by Ethan, a menacing figure from the shadows, her mother Sandy bursts in with a shotgun just as police sirens wail outside. The scene escalates into chaos as Ethan threatens Riley, cornered by Sandy's intervention and the impending arrival of law enforcement.
- In a tense and foreboding scene set in a college library at night, Riley, a 20-year-old woman, studies a textbook on the occult, which triggers her anxiety about the recent release of offender Ethan Rowe. As she grapples with her fear, unexplained creaks and a shadowy figure heighten her paranoia. After leaving the library into a snowy, windy night, she feels pursued as she walks to an ominous sorority house, its dark windows and sagging snow amplifying her dread.
- In a warm flashback scene, seventeen-year-old Riley prepares for a date with her boyfriend Tom, excitedly applying lip gloss in her bedroom while pop music plays. As she descends the stairs in her midnight-blue dress, her mother compliments her appearance, calling her gorgeous and saying Tom is lucky. Riley blushes and rolls her eyes in a modest response, capturing the affectionate and anticipatory tone of the moment.
- In this tense scene, Riley is confronted by Ethan, who appears at her door in a black tuxedo, holding a single red rose. His pale, dead-eyed demeanor shocks her, and despite his compliments, she feels threatened by his possessive nature. Riley firmly tells Ethan to leave, but he insists he would treat her better than Tom. After a chilling exchange, Ethan drops the rose and walks away, only to turn back and stare at her, leaving the threat unresolved.
- In this flashback scene, Riley is visibly shaken after slamming the door, indicating deep emotional turmoil. As the doorbell rings again, she freezes, on the verge of tears, while her mother expresses concern about the visitor. Riley remains silent, fixated on a gleaming red rose on the floor, symbolizing a painful memory. The scene concludes with unresolved tension as Riley's internal conflict remains unaddressed.
- In a neglected foyer at night, Riley enters, locking the door behind her and shaking off the cold. The eerie atmosphere is heightened by the decaying surroundings and a chilling draft. As she steps forward, a sharp, metallic ring echoes from the basement, freezing her in place. The crooked basement door suggests something ominous lies within, intensifying her fear and anxiety. The scene concludes with Riley's quickening breath and a drip of melting snow on her wrist, leaving the tension unresolved.
- In a sorority house during a blizzard, Chelsea, Brooke, Lilly, and Riley navigate personal insecurities and tensions while reminiscing about their college days. Chelsea fears irrelevance post-graduation, leading to a sharp exchange with Lilly and a moment of tension among the group. As they share a ghost story about missing sisters, strange occurrences heighten the atmosphere, prompting unease. To distract themselves, they decide to play a board game in the basement, moving toward it as the house seems to respond with flickering lights.
- In a suspenseful basement scene, four girls—Brooke, Chelsea, Riley, and Lilly—navigate their fears as they explore a dimly lit space filled with eerie sorority relics. Tension rises when Brooke discovers a mysterious trunk containing a dark box adorned with unsettling sigils. While Brooke is eager to engage with the box, her friends express fear and hesitation, sensing an ominous presence. As the house groans and the atmosphere thickens, Brooke dismisses their concerns and insists on starting a game, setting the stage for potential supernatural danger.
- In a stormy night, four girls—Riley, Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly—gather around a mysterious 'Dream Boy' box. As they play a supernatural game, Chelsea mocks the setup but becomes terrified after a creepy phone call from 'Gary.' Ignoring warnings, she breaks the game's rules and decides to go to the bathroom alone with a lantern, escalating the tension as supernatural events unfold.
- In this suspenseful scene, Chelsea climbs a creaky staircase at night, clutching a flickering lantern. As she reassures herself amidst eerie sounds, she encounters a shadowy hallway with bulging wallpaper and a dripping sound from a bathroom. Unbeknownst to her, her reflection in the mirror lags behind, heightening the tension as she steps into the bathroom, oblivious to the supernatural elements surrounding her.
- In a tense living room scene, Brooke initiates a discussion about the ominous rules of the Dream Boy game, questioning whether they should continue playing. Riley advocates for caution, insisting they wait for Chelsea, while Lilly panics about the game's potential consequences, referencing a recent power outage. As Brooke prepares for her turn, the atmosphere grows increasingly chilling, with the characters' breath fogging, suggesting that the game may have real and frightening implications.
- In a chilling bathroom scene, Chelsea confronts her eerie reflection, which comes to life and taunts her about aging and beauty. As the atmosphere darkens and supernatural elements emerge, her reflection transforms into a monstrous version of Gary, offering eternal beauty while threatening her. Terrified, Chelsea finds herself trapped as her reflection ages and distorts, ultimately pulling her into the mirror's void, leaving behind an empty, silent reflection.
- In a tense night scene, Brooke and Riley hear a faint pop before Brooke answers a phone call that leads to unsettling laughter echoing through the line. As the laughter intensifies, Brooke becomes visibly shaken and dismisses the incident as just a game, despite Riley's reminder about breaking the rules. The atmosphere is eerie, highlighting Brooke's defensiveness and the unsettling nature of the call.
- In a tense and eerie upstairs hallway at night, Riley and Lilly frantically search for Chelsea, calling her name as they swing their lanterns. They encounter a pristine bathroom that unnervingly distorts the hallway around them, heightening their fear. As they press on, they find a larger, older door with a sinister light and the smell of rotting roses seeping from beneath it, amplifying the supernatural tension and leaving them on edge.
- In a tense night scene, Brooke confronts a mysterious pink Dream Boy box in her living room, discovering a sigil that triggers her panic. After attempting to burn the box, it inexplicably reappears intact, heightening her fear as it begins to open on its own. Meanwhile, upstairs, Riley and Lilly successfully pick a lock to enter Sue's room, adding to the suspense as both characters face their own supernatural and physical conflicts.
- In this nightmarish scene, Brooke steps into her living room, triggering a TV that displays a grainy video of Dean mocking her as a headliner at a comedy club. As laughter fills the room, Brooke is tormented by Dean's demands to tell a joke, leading to her physical and psychological breakdown. The living room transforms into a grotesque comedy club, with shadowy audience members chanting her name. Dean manifests as a demonic figure, further taunting her while she suffers. Ultimately, Brooke's body is consumed by the floorboards, leaving her lifeless as the house falls silent, punctuated by faint laughter from the TV.
- In Sue's immaculate bedroom at night, Riley and Lilly cautiously explore the eerie space filled with the scent of wilted roses. They encounter ghostly apparitions of three missing sorority girls in the fogged mirror, heightening Lilly's fear while Riley seeks to understand their presence. As the girls vanish, Riley discovers a hidden walk-in closet behind ordinary clothes, leading them deeper into the mystery.
- Riley and Lilly discover a hidden closet filled with eerie items and Polaroid photos of themselves and their friends arranged in a disturbing pattern. They are horrified to find Chelsea's photo circled in red with a pentagram, and as supernatural events unfold—an invisible hand drawing a circle around Brooke's photo—they feel an urgent need to escape. The tension escalates as they hear a chilling giggle, prompting them to flee from Sue's room, leaving the unsettling phenomena behind.
- In a tense flashback set in a sorority house kitchen, Riley, half-asleep and in pajamas, encounters Sue, who stands silently in the doorway. Their conversation quickly becomes uncomfortable as Sue makes unsettling remarks about the house's history and Riley's appearance. As Sue's behavior grows increasingly invasive, Riley feels uneasy and decides to leave after a series of eerie noises. The scene concludes with Sue alone, holding strands of Riley's hair, amplifying the sense of danger and psychological tension.
- In an empty living room at night, Riley and Lilly confront a supernatural threat linked to a sinister game. As Lilly calls out for friends, Riley reveals the game's dark control over them. A grotesque hair doll emerges from a pink phone, and despite Riley's warnings, Lilly answers a call from Zane, who manipulates her with intimate whispers. The phone transforms, and a hand grabs Lilly's face, leading to a frantic struggle. Riley uses a knife to sever the hand, but the phone continues to pulse ominously, prompting Riley to suggest they seek safety in the basement.
- In a dimly lit basement, Riley and Lilly discover an old film projector and a canister labeled 'Rush Week, 1975.' As they watch grainy footage of a sorority ritual, Riley begins a hair doll ritual to bind an entity, revealing her trauma from a stalker. Lilly shares her feelings of invisibility, creating a moment of vulnerability. Suddenly, supernatural disturbances escalate as Polaroid photos of Riley drop from a vent, and Lilly mysteriously vanishes. Amid the chaos, Riley grabs a lantern and flees towards the stairs, leaving the tension unresolved.
- In a surreal and horrifying scene, Lilly bursts into a transformed living room, calling for her friends as a sinister birthday party unfolds around her. The room fills with phantom guests and a seductive Zane, who leads her in a dance while her body begins to disintegrate. As she desperately pleads for help, the guests mimic unwrapping her skin, culminating in her complete erasure as confetti engulfs her. The scene ends with Zane revealing his true demonic form, satisfied by Lilly's disappearance.
- In a haunting high school gymnasium, Riley confronts the eerie illusions of her past as she navigates a surreal prom night scene filled with flickering lights and shadowy figures. Despite the tempting presence of Sue and an idealized Eddie, who mock her fears and attempt to manipulate her emotions, Riley resolutely declares that the illusions are not real. The tension escalates when she hears Lilly's desperate scream for help, prompting her to flee towards the sound, pursued by the sinister dancers reaching out for her.
- In a seemingly normal living room, Riley discovers her sisters Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly baking cookies, but their unsettling smiles and strange features hint at something sinister. When Brooke eats a cookie containing human teeth, Riley is horrified. Shadowy figures appear in the window, and the living room wall transforms into a mass of writhing hair that attacks her. Using a breathing technique, Riley fights back with a knife, causing the hair to recoil. The sisters vanish, replaced by menacing figures with glowing eyes, and the oven erupts in flames. Overwhelmed by terror, Riley flees the kitchen.
- In a surreal and horrifying living room, Riley, disheveled and pale, battles escalating supernatural horrors after a terrifying event. As she performs controlled breathing exercises and mutters a mantra to steady herself, the grandfather clock explodes, and a blizzard invades the room. Four menacing, identical figures known as Dream Boys enter with unsettling movements, heightening the tension. Gripping a hair doll and a trembling lighter, Riley declares her intent to confront the source of her terror, 'Return to sender. I’m coming for you, Sue,' before lunging towards the stairs, signaling her determination to either escape or face the nightmare.
- In a surreal and nightmarish foyer, Riley races up an elongating staircase as the environment transforms around her. The stairs groan ominously, and ghostly faces emerge from the wrinkling wallpaper, all while the Dream Boys crawl spider-like along the banister, beckoning her with hypnotic voices to 'Join us, Riley. Forever.' Despite the terrifying obstacles and collapsing stairs that threaten to pull her into a void, Riley fiercely resists their lure and continues her desperate ascent.
- In a surreal and nightmarish upstairs hallway, Riley desperately flees from an unseen entity as the environment warps around her. Hair strands emerge from door seams, attempting to ensnare her, while a bedroom door dissolves and reappears, disorienting her further. The cold air makes her breath visible, adding to the tension as she hears slow, inhuman footsteps approaching from behind, intensifying her sense of dread and urgency.
- In a dark upstairs landing, Sue, with her eerie beauty and venomous tone, reveals a sinister ritual where the house must be fed every fifty years. As Dream Boys emerge from the walls in a puppet-like bow, Sue ominously declares that tonight, an unseen character is the banquet, escalating the tension and supernatural horror without resolving the impending threat.
- In a tense and surreal moment, Riley finds herself cornered in an upstairs hallway by the menacing Dream Boys, who pursue her with hunger and worshipful intent. As she hears the taunting voice of Sue from the attic, urging her to surrender, Riley struggles against coiling hair that restricts her movement. With mounting dread, she manages to free herself and climbs the attic ladder, clutching a hair doll as she ascends into the eerie amber glow, leaving the relentless threats behind but facing the unknown above.
- In a chilling attic, Riley confronts dark entities after opening a hatch that reveals a sigil and a grotesque fusion of bodies into a monstrous form, Eddie. Rejecting his seductive threats, she fights back with a knife. Sue, flickering between glamour and decay, attempts to manipulate Riley, but Riley uses a hair doll to force Sue into fulfilling her dark pact. As more spirits emerge to attack, Riley breaks the sigil with her blood, releasing trapped souls and consuming the antagonists. The scene culminates in Riley destroying her hair doll, ending the magic and leaving the attic in silence.
- In the cold morning outside a sorority house, emergency crews respond to a traumatic incident involving Riley, who is in shock and minimally responsive. As paramedics attend to her minor injuries, Riley remains detached, fixated on a faint glow in the attic window, suggesting she is haunted by something within the house. The scene conveys a somber atmosphere of unresolved trauma as a police officer directs her to leave the area.
- In a tense morning scene inside a police cruiser, Riley grapples with psychological distress as she hallucinates Ethan's gentle smile in the rearview mirror. Shocked by the vision, she spins around to find the seat empty, revealing her isolation. The unsettling atmosphere is heightened by the crackling police radio. To cope, Riley practices controlled breathing, attempting to regain her composure amidst the eerie silence.
- In the final scene, Riley awakens in the campus library as it is closing, startled by a kind librarian. After packing her belongings, she discovers a disturbing polaroid of herself asleep, triggering memories of her past trauma. A voicemail informs her of the release of offender Ethan Rowe, heightening her anxiety. However, she regains her composure through controlled breathing and prepares herself for potential danger, revealing a hidden knife. The scene concludes with a faint ringing sound, leaving a sense of suspense and determination.
📊 Script Snapshot
What's Working
Where to Focus
📊 Understanding Your Percentile Rankings
Your scores are compared against professional produced screenplays in our vault (The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.). The percentile shows where you rank compared to these films.
Example: A score of 8.5 in Originality might be 85th percentile (strong!), while the same 8.5 in Conflict might only be 50th percentile (needs work). The percentile tells you what your raw scores actually mean.
Hover over each axis on the radar chart to see what that category measures and why it matters.
Analysis: The screenplay effectively develops its characters, particularly Riley, who undergoes significant transformation throughout the narrative. However, some supporting characters, like Chelsea and Brooke, could benefit from deeper arcs to enhance their relatability and emotional impact. The antagonist, Ethan, is compelling but could be further explored to add complexity to his motivations.
Key Strengths
- Riley's character arc is compelling, showcasing her transformation from fear to empowerment as she confronts her past and the supernatural threats.
Analysis: The screenplay effectively establishes a compelling premise that intertwines psychological horror with supernatural elements, creating a rich narrative landscape. However, enhancing clarity around character motivations and refining the thematic depth could significantly improve audience engagement.
Key Strengths
- The integration of psychological horror with supernatural elements creates a unique narrative that stands out in the genre.
Analysis: The screenplay 'Dream Boy' effectively weaves a complex narrative of horror and psychological tension, utilizing strong character arcs and a well-structured plot that maintains audience engagement. However, there are areas for improvement in pacing and clarity, particularly in the transitions between scenes and the development of certain plot points.
Key Strengths
- The character arcs, particularly Riley's transformation from fear to empowerment, are compelling and resonate well with the audience.
- The escalation of conflict and stakes is effectively built throughout the screenplay, maintaining tension and engagement.
Analysis: The screenplay effectively conveys themes of trauma, fear, and the struggle for agency in the face of supernatural and psychological threats. The character arcs, particularly Riley's, are well-developed and resonate with the audience, showcasing a journey from vulnerability to empowerment. However, there are opportunities to refine the clarity of certain themes and enhance their integration into the narrative, particularly regarding the consequences of trauma and the nature of fear.
Key Strengths
- The exploration of trauma through Riley's character arc is a significant strength, showcasing her journey from fear to empowerment. This depth adds emotional weight to the narrative.
Areas to Improve
- Some themes, particularly the consequences of trauma and the nature of fear, could be more clearly articulated to enhance their impact on the audience.
Analysis: The screenplay 'Dream Boy' effectively utilizes vivid and imaginative visual imagery to create a haunting atmosphere that enhances its horror elements. The descriptions of supernatural occurrences and character interactions are compelling, drawing readers into a world filled with tension and emotional depth. However, there are opportunities to refine certain visual elements for greater clarity and impact.
Key Strengths
- The vivid descriptions of supernatural elements, particularly in scenes involving the attic and the Dream Boy game, create a strong sense of horror and tension. The imagery effectively conveys the emotional stakes for Riley and her friends.
Analysis: The screenplay effectively elicits emotional responses through its exploration of trauma, fear, and resilience, particularly through the character arcs of Riley and Ethan. However, there are opportunities to enhance emotional depth by further developing secondary characters and their relationships, as well as refining the pacing of emotional revelations.
Key Strengths
- Riley's emotional journey from trauma to empowerment is compelling and resonates deeply with audiences, particularly in her confrontations with Ethan and the supernatural elements.
Areas to Improve
- Secondary characters like Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly could benefit from deeper emotional arcs and interactions to enhance their relatability and impact on the story.
Analysis: The screenplay effectively presents conflict and stakes through the interplay of Riley's trauma and the supernatural elements surrounding her. However, there are opportunities to enhance the narrative tension by deepening character arcs and escalating stakes more dynamically throughout the story.
Key Strengths
- The screenplay effectively intertwines Riley's personal trauma with the supernatural elements, creating a rich narrative tension. The character arcs, particularly Riley's, are well-developed and resonate with the audience.
Analysis: The screenplay 'Dream Boy' showcases a compelling blend of horror and psychological thriller elements, with a unique narrative that intertwines supernatural themes with personal trauma. The characters are well-developed, particularly Riley, whose journey from fear to empowerment is both relatable and engaging. The innovative use of Polaroids and the Dream Boy game as narrative devices adds a fresh layer to the storytelling, enhancing the overall originality of the piece.
Expand to see detailed analysis
View Complete AnalysisTop Takeaway from This Section
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Top Takeaway from This Section
-
Character Riley Carter
Description Riley's character shifts from a terrified victim in the beginning to a more assertive and determined character later on. While character growth is expected, the transition feels abrupt and lacks sufficient development to justify her newfound confidence and decisiveness.
( Scene 1 (INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT) Scene 2 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) Scene 20 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) ) -
Character Sue
Description Sue's character is portrayed as nurturing and motherly in the flashback, but later reveals a sinister side. The transition from a caring figure to a manipulative antagonist lacks depth, making her motivations feel inconsistent.
( Scene 19 (INT. SORORITY HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)) Scene 28 (INT. UPSTAIRS LANDING - CONTINUOUS) )
-
Description The basement door is mentioned as being locked and then later as if it can be easily accessed. This inconsistency creates confusion about the layout and accessibility of the house.
( Scene 6 (INT. FOYER – NIGHT) Scene 11 (INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT) ) -
Description The attic is described as vast and cathedral-like, yet it seems to contain a sigil and a phone that are crucial to the plot. The sudden appearance of these items without prior setup in the narrative feels forced and lacks coherence.
( Scene 30 (INT. ATTIC - NIGHT) )
-
Description Riley receives a voicemail about Ethan's release, yet there is no follow-up on how this impacts her actions or the plot. The lack of direct confrontation or consequence from this information creates a significant gap in the narrative.
( Scene 2 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) Scene 20 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) ) -
Description After the climax, Riley is shown to be alive and seemingly unharmed, yet the emotional and physical toll of her experiences is not addressed. This abrupt shift undermines the stakes established throughout the story.
( Scene 31 (EXT. SORORITY HOUSE - MORNING) )
-
Description The dialogue among the girls feels overly casual and lacks the depth of their experiences. Given the context of their situation, the banter seems forced and does not reflect the gravity of their circumstances.
( Scene 7 (INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT) ) -
Description Chelsea's dialogue in the bathroom scene, particularly her reaction to her reflection, feels exaggerated and unrealistic. The moment lacks the authenticity needed for a character facing supernatural horror.
( Scene 12 (INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT) )
-
Element Riley's breathing exercises
( Scene 2 (INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY - NIGHT) Scene 20 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) Scene 25 (INT. LIVING ROOM - SECONDS LATER) )
Suggestion These moments could be streamlined to avoid repetition. Instead of reiterating her breathing exercises, consider integrating them into a single impactful moment that highlights her character's growth. -
Element The theme of being seen
( Scene 7 (INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT) Scene 22 (INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT) )
Suggestion The theme of visibility and being seen is mentioned multiple times. This could be consolidated into fewer, more powerful moments to enhance the narrative's impact.
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
| Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ethan |
|
Ethan's character arc is compelling, as it effectively showcases his menacing nature and the psychological impact he has on Riley. However, the arc could benefit from more depth in his backstory to explain his obsessive tendencies and predatory behavior. Currently, he appears as a one-dimensional antagonist without clear motivations beyond control and fear. | To improve Ethan's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or moments that reveal his past experiences, which could explain his obsession and need for control. Additionally, introducing a moment of vulnerability or conflict within Ethan could add complexity to his character, making him more relatable and nuanced. This could lead to a more impactful climax and resolution, allowing the audience to grapple with the duality of his nature. |
| Riley | Riley's character arc begins with her being deeply haunted by her past traumas, particularly her fear of Ethan and the supernatural occurrences surrounding her. Initially, she is cautious and anxious, struggling to maintain control in the face of danger. As the story progresses, she encounters increasingly threatening situations that force her to confront her fears head-on. Through her interactions with friends and the supernatural, Riley gradually transforms from a fearful young woman into a determined and resilient protagonist. By the climax, she embraces her inner strength, using her knowledge of the occult to confront the supernatural threats directly. The arc culminates in her acceptance of her past and a newfound sense of agency, allowing her to navigate the twisted reality with courage and resolve. | Riley's character arc is compelling, showcasing a relatable journey of overcoming fear and trauma. However, it could benefit from deeper exploration of her internal conflicts and motivations. While her transformation is evident, the screenplay may not fully capture the nuances of her emotional struggles, particularly in relation to her past with Ethan. Additionally, her relationships with supporting characters could be further developed to enhance her growth and provide more context for her resilience. | To improve Riley's character arc, consider incorporating more flashbacks or internal monologues that delve into her past traumas, particularly her relationship with Ethan. This could provide a clearer understanding of her fears and motivations. Additionally, strengthen her relationships with supporting characters by showcasing moments of vulnerability and connection, allowing her to lean on them for support. This would not only enhance her character development but also create a more dynamic emotional landscape. Finally, ensure that her transformation feels earned by presenting her with increasingly challenging obstacles that require her to confront her fears in a meaningful way. |
| Chelsea | Chelsea's character arc begins with her as a confident, image-conscious individual who seeks validation through her social media presence. As the supernatural events unfold, she initially dismisses the danger, relying on her humor and sarcasm to cope. However, as the tension escalates, Chelsea's skepticism is challenged, and she begins to confront her fears. This leads to a significant internal struggle where she grapples with her vulnerabilities. By the climax, Chelsea is transformed from a self-assured character into one who is terrified and desperate, ultimately facing her deepest fears. The arc concludes with her either overcoming her fears or succumbing to the supernatural influence, marking a profound change in her character. | Chelsea's character arc is compelling as it showcases a significant transformation from confidence to vulnerability. However, the transition may feel abrupt if not properly paced. The initial portrayal of her as vain and self-assured could benefit from deeper exploration to establish a stronger emotional connection with the audience. Additionally, her shift into an eerie figure under supernatural influence could be more gradual, allowing for a more nuanced exploration of her internal conflict. | To improve Chelsea's character arc, consider incorporating moments that reveal her insecurities earlier in the screenplay, allowing the audience to empathize with her struggles. Gradually build the tension surrounding the supernatural elements, giving Chelsea more opportunities to confront her fears before the climax. This could include interactions with other characters that challenge her worldview or moments of introspection that highlight her vulnerabilities. Additionally, ensure that her transformation into an eerie figure is foreshadowed, creating a more cohesive narrative that ties her character development to the supernatural events. |
| Brooke | Brooke's character arc begins with her as a confident and humorous individual who uses sarcasm to deflect her insecurities. As the supernatural events unfold, she transitions from skepticism to fear, grappling with her vulnerabilities. This journey leads her to confront her deepest fears, showcasing her resilience but also her fragility. By the climax, Brooke's character is stripped down to her core, revealing a disturbing transformation that highlights the impact of the horrors she faces. Her arc culminates in a moment of realization where she must choose between succumbing to the darkness or fighting back, ultimately defining her character's strength and depth. | While Brooke's character arc is compelling, it may benefit from a clearer progression of her internal conflict. The transition from humor to fear could be more gradual, allowing the audience to witness her struggle in a more nuanced way. Additionally, her transformation into a sinister figure could be better foreshadowed, ensuring that the shift feels earned rather than abrupt. The balance between her protective nature and her descent into madness could also be explored further to enhance the emotional stakes. | To improve Brooke's character arc, consider incorporating moments that highlight her internal conflict earlier in the screenplay. This could involve flashbacks or conversations that reveal her insecurities and fears, making her eventual transformation more impactful. Additionally, provide opportunities for her to demonstrate her protective nature in the face of danger, reinforcing her role as a caring friend. Gradually increase the tension and supernatural elements, allowing her skepticism to evolve more organically. Finally, ensure that her descent into darkness is foreshadowed through subtle hints in her dialogue and actions, creating a more cohesive and satisfying character journey. |
| Lilly | Lilly's character arc begins with her as a sensitive and observant individual, who is initially calm and insightful about the supernatural events around her. As the story progresses, she becomes increasingly anxious and fearful, struggling with her superstitions and the reality of the terrifying situations she faces. Her loyalty to her friends, especially Riley, is tested as she navigates her fears. Ultimately, Lilly's journey leads her to confront her insecurities and the source of her fears, culminating in a tragic transformation that highlights her vulnerability and emotional turmoil. By the end of the screenplay, Lilly's character embodies the struggle between fear and the need for connection, leaving her changed by the experiences she endures. | Lilly's character arc effectively captures the emotional turmoil of a sensitive individual facing supernatural threats. However, her journey may feel somewhat one-dimensional if it solely revolves around fear and anxiety without moments of empowerment or growth. While her vulnerability is relatable, it risks overshadowing her potential for resilience and strength. Additionally, her loyalty to Riley could be further developed to create a more dynamic relationship that influences her character growth. | To improve Lilly's character arc, consider incorporating moments where she actively confronts her fears rather than solely reacting to them. This could involve her taking initiative to protect her friends or seeking out knowledge about the supernatural elements they face, showcasing her growth and resilience. Additionally, deepening her relationship with Riley could provide opportunities for mutual support, allowing Lilly to find strength in her friendships. Introducing a pivotal moment where Lilly must choose between succumbing to her fears or stepping up for her friends could create a more compelling and transformative arc. |
Top Takeaway from This Section
Theme Analysis Overview
Identified Themes
| Theme | Theme Details | Theme Explanation | Primary Theme Support | ||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Trauma and its Lingering Effects
95%
|
Riley's initial encounter with Ethan, her subsequent fear and hypervigilance, the recurring presence of Ethan and other entities, her controlled breathing techniques, and her eventual confrontation in the attic all point to the deep psychological impact of past traumatic events.
|
This theme explores how traumatic experiences can leave lasting scars, manifesting as anxiety, hypervigilance, and an altered perception of reality. The narrative demonstrates how trauma can become an active force, influencing present actions and perceptions. |
This is the core theme, directly embodying the script's central conflict and Riley's internal struggle. Her actions are dictated by the trauma she has endured, and her fight for survival is a fight against its continued hold on her.
|
||||||||||||
Strengthening Trauma and its Lingering Effects
|
|||||||||||||||
|
Supernatural and Occult Forces
90%
|
The presence of Asmodeus, the 'Dream Boy' game, the sigils, the animated hair dolls, the ghostly apparitions of the 1975 girls, and the sentient house all point to a supernatural element that actively preys on the characters.
|
This theme delves into the existence and influence of dark, malevolent supernatural forces that prey on human vulnerability. The script utilizes occult practices, ancient rituals, and demonic entities to create an atmosphere of dread and to manifest psychological fears. |
The supernatural elements serve as the external manifestation of Riley's internal trauma and fears. They are the 'monsters' that embody her psychological battles, making her struggle for survival a tangible conflict against these dark forces.
|
||||||||||||
|
The Failure of Societal Protection and Support Systems
85%
|
The police's dismissal of Riley's concerns about Ethan, the authorities ignoring his stalking behavior until she was hospitalized, and the general sense of isolation Riley experiences suggest a systemic failure to protect vulnerable individuals.
|
This theme criticizes the inadequacy of societal institutions, such as law enforcement and potentially mental health services, in adequately addressing and protecting victims of stalking, harassment, and trauma. It highlights the feeling of being alone against formidable threats. |
This theme amplifies the isolation inherent in Riley's trauma. The lack of external help reinforces the idea that she must rely on her own inner strength and fight her battles single-handedly, making her survival even more significant.
|
||||||||||||
|
Fragility of Identity and Reality
80%
|
Riley's hallucinations of Ethan, the distortions in the house, the Dream Boy game's ability to mimic and corrupt, and the blurred lines between the game and reality challenge the characters' sense of self and their grip on what is real.
|
This theme explores how trauma and supernatural influence can erode a person's sense of self and their ability to distinguish between reality and delusion. It questions the stability of identity when faced with overwhelming external and internal pressures. |
The fracturing of Riley's perception and sense of self is a direct consequence of her trauma and the supernatural forces at play. Her fight to maintain her identity is intertwined with her fight for survival against these corrupting influences.
|
||||||||||||
|
Feminine Vulnerability and Resilience
75%
|
The script features a predominantly female cast facing significant threats. Riley's journey from victim to fighter, and the fates of Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly, showcase both the vulnerabilities and the hidden strengths of women in perilous situations.
|
This theme examines the specific vulnerabilities and dangers faced by women, while also celebrating their capacity for courage, resilience, and fierce determination in the face of overwhelming adversity. |
While not the central focus, this theme provides a backdrop and context for Riley's specific struggle. Her resilience is a testament to the strength that can be found within female characters facing patriarchal or universally malevolent threats.
|
||||||||||||
|
The Power of Belief and Narrative
70%
|
The 'Dream Boy' game relies on belief to function, as does the occult ritual mentioned. Riley's initial skepticism about the occult versus her later acceptance and application of these practices highlight the power of belief in shaping reality.
|
This theme explores how collective belief, storytelling, and the acceptance of certain narratives (even occult ones) can give them power and influence over reality. It suggests that what is believed to be real can become real. |
This theme directly supports the supernatural elements by giving them agency and power. Riley's eventual understanding and manipulation of these occult 'rules' are crucial to her survival, demonstrating how belief can be a weapon against the forces that exploit it.
|
||||||||||||
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
| Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
| John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
| What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
| Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Top Takeaway from This Section
Emotional Analysis
Emotional Variety
Critique
- The script demonstrates strong emotional variety in its overall arc, moving from initial terror (Scenes 1-2) to nostalgic warmth (Scene 3), interpersonal tension (Scene 7), supernatural dread (Scenes 8-12), and eventual triumph (Scene 30). However, there are significant stretches where the emotional palette becomes monotonous. From Scene 12 through Scene 29, the script is dominated by fear, terror, and suspense, with little emotional relief or variation. The emotional breakdown shows fear intensity at 9-10 for 18 consecutive scenes, creating potential emotional fatigue.
- The script lacks sufficient positive emotional counterpoints during its middle and late acts. While Scene 3 provides nostalgic joy and Scene 7 offers camaraderie, these are brief and isolated. The relentless horror from Scene 9 onward (with fear intensity consistently at 9-10) creates a one-note emotional experience that may desensitize the audience. Even moments of potential relief (like Riley's initial relief in Scene 33) are immediately undercut by renewed threats.
- Character-specific emotional journeys are overshadowed by supernatural horror. Chelsea's fear of irrelevance (Scene 7), Lilly's feeling of being unseen (Scene 21), and Brooke's use of humor as a defense mechanism (Scene 7) are interesting emotional starting points, but they're quickly consumed by the horror elements rather than being explored as complex emotional states that could provide variety.
Suggestions
- Introduce moments of genuine connection and positive emotion between Riley and Lilly during their investigation (Scenes 17-18). Instead of just shared fear, show moments of mutual support, shared determination, or even dark humor that strengthens their bond. This would provide emotional relief while deepening character relationships.
- Expand the flashback scenes (Scenes 3-5) to include more positive memories of the entire friend group. Show Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly in happier times before the horror begins. This would create stronger emotional stakes when they're threatened and provide contrast to the horror. Consider adding a brief scene showing the friends' genuine affection for each other before the game begins.
- During the investigation sequences (Scenes 17-18, 21), allow moments of intellectual curiosity or determination to shine through alongside the fear. Riley's research into the occult could be portrayed with fascination as well as dread, creating a more complex emotional response than pure terror.
Emotional Intensity Distribution
Critique
- The emotional intensity distribution is heavily front-loaded and sustained at maximum levels for too long. Scene 1 starts at maximum intensity (fear: 10, suspense: 10) and maintains this level through most of the script. The emotional breakdown shows fear intensity at 9-10 for 25 out of 33 scenes, creating potential emotional exhaustion for the audience.
- There's a notable intensity plateau from Scene 12 through Scene 29 where fear, terror, and suspense remain consistently at 9-10 intensity. This sustained peak lacks the necessary valleys that would make subsequent peaks more impactful. The script misses opportunities for emotional breathing room that could enhance the horror when it returns.
- The climax (Scene 30) reaches the same intensity level (10) that has been sustained for many scenes, potentially diminishing its impact. The resolution (Scenes 31-33) provides some relief but immediately reintroduces high anxiety (9 in Scene 33), denying the audience a true emotional resolution or catharsis.
Suggestions
- Create deliberate valleys in intensity between major horror set pieces. After Chelsea's disappearance (Scene 12), allow a scene where Riley and the others have a moment of relative calm to process what's happened, showing grief and determination rather than immediate terror. This would make the next horror sequence (Brooke's fate in Scene 16) more impactful.
- Vary the type of fear experienced. Instead of consistently high terror (10), use different fear sub-emotions at varying intensities: anxiety (6-7), apprehension (8), dread (9), with terror (10) reserved for key moments like Chelsea's mirror death (Scene 12) and Brooke's disintegration (Scene 16).
- Build more gradual intensity in the early game scenes (Scenes 9-11). Start with curiosity and unease (intensity 5-6) rather than immediate terror when the game begins. Allow the horror to build more gradually, creating a more satisfying emotional arc.
Empathy For Characters
Critique
- Empathy for Riley is strong throughout (consistently 9-10 in empathy intensity), but this is primarily based on her victim status rather than her character depth. The audience feels sympathy for her suffering but may not connect with her as a fully realized person beyond her trauma. Her emotional journey is reactive rather than proactive until the very end.
- Secondary characters (Chelsea, Brooke, Lilly) receive strong empathy in their death scenes (empathy intensity 9-10 in Scenes 12, 16, 22), but their character development is limited. Chelsea's fear of irrelevance, Brooke's defensive humor, and Lilly's feeling of being unseen are introduced but not deeply explored before they become victims, making their deaths feel more like plot points than emotional losses.
- The script misses opportunities to build empathy through character interactions. The friends' relationships are shown through conflict (Scene 7) and shared fear, but not through moments of genuine care or vulnerability that would make their losses more emotionally resonant.
Suggestions
- Add a scene early in the sorority house sequence (between Scenes 6 and 7) showing the friends in a genuine, positive interaction. Show Chelsea helping Riley with something, Brooke making everyone laugh, Lilly sharing something personal. This would establish their bonds before the horror begins, making their subsequent fates more emotionally impactful.
- Give Riley more proactive moments earlier in the script. Instead of just reacting to threats, show her researching the occult out of genuine intellectual curiosity or determination to understand her past trauma. This would make her a more active protagonist and deepen audience connection.
- Expand the flashback with Ethan (Scenes 4-5) to show more of Riley's personality before the trauma. Show her interests, aspirations, or relationships beyond just preparing for a date. This would create stronger contrast with her haunted present self and deepen empathy for what she's lost.
Emotional Impact Of Key Scenes
Critique
- Key death scenes (Chelsea in Scene 12, Brooke in Scene 16, Lilly in Scene 22) are visually horrific but may lack emotional depth because the characters' personalities and relationships weren't sufficiently established. The emotional breakdown shows high terror (10) and sympathy (10) in these scenes, but the sympathy is for their suffering rather than for them as individuals.
- The climax (Scene 30) achieves high emotional intensity (fear: 10, triumph: 9) but may feel somewhat rushed. Riley's transformation from victim to active fighter happens primarily in this scene, making her victory feel less earned emotionally. The emotional journey from terror to triumph needs more development.
- The final scene (Scene 33) creates strong suspense (9) and sympathy (10), but the emotional impact is undercut by the immediate return of threat. The audience doesn't get to experience Riley's hard-won peace or recovery, denying emotional closure after the intense journey.
Suggestions
- Strengthen the emotional impact of death scenes by showing the surviving characters' reactions more deeply. After Chelsea's death (Scene 12), show Riley's grief and guilt rather than just moving to the next horror sequence. Allow time for emotional processing that would make the losses feel more real.
- Build Riley's agency more gradually throughout the script. Instead of her transformation happening primarily in Scene 30, show small moments of determination and resourcefulness earlier (Scenes 20-21). This would make her final confrontation feel more earned and emotionally satisfying.
- Consider extending the resolution (Scenes 31-32) to show Riley beginning to process her trauma. A scene showing her visiting her mother, talking to a therapist, or simply trying to rebuild her life would provide emotional closure while still acknowledging the lasting impact of her experiences.
Complex Emotional Layers
Critique
- Many scenes rely on primary emotions (fear, terror, suspense) without exploring the complex sub-emotions that could enrich the experience. For example, Scene 12 (Chelsea's death) focuses on terror and horror but doesn't explore the potential sadness of her unfulfilled desire to be seen or the tragedy of her vanity being exploited.
- Riley's emotional journey is often one-dimensional: fear and determination. The script misses opportunities to show more complex emotional states: guilt over her friends' deaths, anger at her powerlessness, conflicted feelings about her past trauma resurfacing, or even moments of doubt about her sanity.
- The supernatural elements are portrayed as purely malevolent, missing opportunities for more nuanced emotional responses. The Dream Boys could evoke not just terror but also pity (trapped entities), the house could inspire fascination as well as dread, and Sue's backstory could create sympathy alongside horror.
Suggestions
- Add complexity to Riley's emotional state during investigation scenes (Scenes 17-18, 21). Show her experiencing fascination alongside fear when discovering occult elements, or show her feeling a strange connection to the trapped spirits that goes beyond simple terror.
- Develop the emotional complexity of the secondary characters' deaths. In Chelsea's death scene (Scene 12), emphasize the tragedy of her fear of irrelevance being literally realized. In Lilly's death (Scene 22), highlight the cruel irony of her desire to be seen culminating in her complete erasure.
- Give Sue more emotional complexity in her final scene (Scene 30). Instead of pure malevolence, show hints of regret, weariness, or even a twisted maternal pride. This would make her more than a one-dimensional villain and create more nuanced emotional responses.
Additional Critique
Emotional Pacing and Audience Fatigue
Critiques
- The script maintains maximum emotional intensity for too long without relief. From Scene 9 through Scene 29, fear intensity remains at 9-10, creating potential desensitization. The audience needs emotional valleys to make the peaks more impactful.
- The relentless horror creates emotional monotony. While individual scenes are effective, the cumulative effect of 20+ scenes of sustained terror may overwhelm rather than engage the audience emotionally.
- The script misses opportunities for emotional contrast that would enhance the horror. Moments of genuine safety or happiness would make the return of terror more powerful, but these are either brief (Scene 3) or immediately undercut (Scene 33).
Suggestions
- Insert a 'calm before the storm' scene between major horror sequences. After the initial game consequences (Scene 12), include a scene where the remaining characters have a moment of relative safety to process their losses and make a plan. This would provide emotional breathing room while building tension for what comes next.
- Vary the type and intensity of horror throughout. Instead of consistently high terror, include scenes focused on unease (intensity 6-7), mystery (intensity 7-8), and dread (intensity 8-9), reserving maximum terror (10) for key moments like the death scenes.
- Use humor more strategically to provide emotional relief. Brooke's humor in early scenes (7-8) works well; expand this to include moments of dark humor or camaraderie during the investigation sequences to break the tension without eliminating it entirely.
Character Emotional Arcs and Resolution
Critiques
- Riley's emotional arc is incomplete. She moves from trauma victim to survivor/fighter, but the script doesn't show her processing the emotional toll of her experiences. The final scenes return immediately to threat rather than showing any healing or growth.
- The secondary characters' emotional journeys are truncated by their deaths. Chelsea's fear of irrelevance, Brooke's defensive humor, and Lilly's feeling of being unseen are introduced but not resolved or meaningfully connected to their fates.
- The resolution (Scenes 31-33) denies emotional closure. Instead of showing Riley beginning to heal or finding some measure of peace, the script immediately reintroduces the threat, leaving the audience without catharsis after the intense emotional journey.
Suggestions
- Extend the resolution to show Riley's emotional processing. Add a scene between 31 and 32 where she talks to authorities or a therapist, showing her beginning to articulate her trauma. This would provide emotional closure while acknowledging the ongoing impact.
- Connect the secondary characters' emotional issues more clearly to their supernatural fates. Make Chelsea's mirror death more explicitly about her fear of aging and irrelevance, Brooke's comedy club nightmare more directly about her fear of being laughed at rather than with, and Lilly's disintegration more clearly about her desire to be seen.
- Consider a more definitive emotional resolution. While the cyclical threat ending has thematic merit, it denies the audience emotional satisfaction. Either show Riley achieving some measure of peace despite the ongoing threat, or make her final confrontation more definitively victorious emotionally if not completely.
Emotional World-Building and Atmosphere
Critiques
- The supernatural elements evoke primarily fear and horror, missing opportunities for more complex emotional responses. The house's history, the trapped spirits, and the occult elements could inspire fascination, pity, or tragic awe alongside the terror.
- The emotional atmosphere is consistently dark and oppressive without variation. Different locations (library, sorority house, basement, attic) could have distinct emotional tones, but they all evoke similar levels of dread and terror.
- The ritualistic elements are portrayed as purely malevolent, missing opportunities for emotional complexity. The historical context (1975 girls, Sue's backstory) could evoke sympathy or tragic understanding alongside the horror.
Suggestions
- Differentiate emotional tones by location. Make the library scenes (2, 33) more focused on anxiety and intellectual dread, the sorority house more on domestic unease turning to terror, the basement on claustrophobic horror, and the attic on cosmic dread.
- Add emotional complexity to the supernatural elements. Show Riley feeling pity for the trapped 1975 girls rather than just fear. Make Sue's backstory more tragic, showing how she became trapped in her role. This would create more nuanced emotional responses.
- Use the occult elements to evoke intellectual fascination as well as fear. Show Riley's research (Scene 2) as driven by genuine curiosity as well as trauma. Make the ritual elements fascinating in their complexity rather than just terrifying.
Top Takeaway from This Section
| Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
|---|---|
| internal Goals | Throughout the script, Riley's internal goals evolve from seeking safety and empowerment in the face of immediate danger to confronting her past traumas and achieving closure. As the story progresses, her goals shift towards finding confidence in her relationships and ultimately reclaiming her autonomy against oppressive forces, both personal and supernatural. This internal journey highlights her struggle against fear and the quest for self-acceptance amidst chaos. |
| External Goals | Riley's external goals begin with a focus on survival against immediate physical threats, such as Ethan and the supernatural occurrences surrounding her. Over time, her external goals expand to include protecting her friends and unraveling the mysteries of the haunting, culminating in a need to escape from the ritualistic forces at play in the house. |
| Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict centers around the struggle for autonomy and control versus the oppressive nature of manipulation and fear, embodied by the supernatural forces and characters like Sue and the Dream Boys. This tension manifests as Riley confronts the dual aspects of desire for connection and the need for personal agency. |
Character Development Contribution: Riley's goals and conflicts drive her character development by forcing her to confront her fears and traumas, thereby transforming her from a victim of her circumstances to a proactive individual who takes charge of her destiny. This evolution is pivotal for her self-acceptance and journey towards empowerment.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The intertwining of internal and external goals with the philosophical conflict contributes to a tight narrative structure that builds tension as Riley fluctuates between fear and empowerment. The pacing of her evolution aligns with the escalating horror, maintaining suspense and engagement throughout the script.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts enrich the thematic depth of the script, exploring concepts of identity, the nature of fear, and the quest for freedom. The layered conflicts amplify the emotional stakes, ultimately presenting a nuanced perspective on the struggle for personal agency amidst supernatural influences.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
| Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
| Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
| Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
| Compelled to Read | Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | ||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click for Full Analysis | Page | Tone | Overall | Scene Impact | Concept | Plot | Originality | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
| 1 - Nightmare Unleashed Improve | 2 | Terror, Suspense, Menace | 9.2 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 2 - Shadows of the Past Improve | 3 | Tense, Foreboding, Suspenseful, Menacing | 9.2 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 3 - A Night to Remember Improve | 6 | Tense, Anxious, Menacing, Ominous, Nostalgic | 8.7 | 4 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 4 - A Chilling Encounter Improve | 7 | Tense, Menacing, Chilling, Anxious | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 5 - Silent Distress Improve | 8 | Tense, Anxious, Menacing, Chilling, Terrifying | 8.7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 6 - Echoes of Dread Improve | 8 | Tense, Suspenseful, Dark | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | |
| 7 - Blizzard Whispers Improve | 9 | Tense, Eerie, Nostalgic, Curious, Foreboding | 8.7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 8 - Game Night in the Basement Improve | 19 | Tense, Eerie, Foreboding, Suspenseful | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8.5 | |
| 9 - The Dream Boy Game Improve | 24 | Tense, Suspenseful, Eerie, Foreboding | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 8 | |
| 10 - Echoes in the Dark Improve | 29 | Tense, Eerie, Suspenseful, Foreboding | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
| 11 - The Game's Grip Improve | 31 | Tense, Panicked, Eerie, Foreboding | 8.7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 12 - Reflections of Fear Improve | 31 | Terror, Suspense, Dread, Supernatural | 9.2 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 13 - The Distorted Call Improve | 34 | Tense, Suspenseful, Eerie, Disturbing | 8.7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
| 14 - The Haunting Search Improve | 35 | Tense, Eerie, Suspenseful, Ominous | 9.2 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | |
| 15 - The Indestructible Box Improve | 36 | Terror, Suspense, Mystery, Supernatural | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 16 - The Haunting Performance Improve | 39 | Terror, Dread, Isolation, Helplessness, Dark Humor | 9.2 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 17 - Whispers from the Past Improve | 44 | Eerie, Suspenseful, Mysterious | 9.2 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 18 - The Haunting Revelation Improve | 46 | Tense, Eerie, Supernatural, Suspenseful | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 19 - Unease in the Kitchen Improve | 47 | Eerie, Tense, Creepy, Unsettling, Foreboding | 9.2 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 20 - The Haunting Call Improve | 51 | Tense, Eerie, Terrifying, Mysterious | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 21 - Descent into Darkness Improve | 55 | Tense, Eerie, Desperate, Intimate | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 22 - The Nightmarish Birthday Improve | 60 | Terror, Suspense, Isolation, Helplessness, Distortion | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 23 - Illusions of Prom Night Improve | 65 | Terror, Suspense, Mystery, Desperation | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 24 - Nightmare in the Kitchen Improve | 69 | Terror, Suspense, Mystery, Darkness, Disturbing | 9.2 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8.5 | |
| 25 - Confronting the Chaos Improve | 73 | Terror, Suspense, Desperation, Defiance | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 26 - Descent into Nightmares Improve | 74 | Terror, Menace, Hallucinatory, Surreal | 9.2 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 27 - Descent into Nightmares Improve | 75 | Terror, Suspense, Mystery | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | |
| 28 - The Banquet of Shadows Improve | 75 | Menacing, Sinister, Mysterious, Foreboding | 9.2 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 8 | |
| 29 - The Ascent of Fear Improve | 76 | Terrifying, Surreal, Menacing, Suspenseful | 9.2 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 30 - Confrontation in the Attic Improve | 77 | Terror, Suspense, Desperation, Defiance, Resolution | 9.2 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 31 - Haunted by Shadows Improve | 85 | Terror, Suspense, Mystery | 8.7 | 3 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 32 - Haunting Reflections Improve | 86 | Terror, Suspense, Isolation, Desperation | 9.2 | 5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 10 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 33 - Awakening Fear Improve | 87 | Terror, Determination, Relief, Suspense | 8.7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
Summary of Scene Level Analysis
Here are insights from the scene-level analysis, highlighting strengths, weaknesses, and actionable suggestions.
Some points may appear in both strengths and weaknesses due to scene variety.
Tip: Click on criteria in the top row for detailed summaries.
Scene Strengths
- Effective tension-building
- Strong character dynamics
- Atmospheric descriptions
- Intriguing supernatural elements
- High emotional impact
Scene Weaknesses
- Limited character development
- Sparse dialogue
- Potential for predictability in plot elements
- Confusion with supernatural rules and timeline transitions
- Clichéd elements and dialogue
Suggestions
- Enhance character development by deepening backstories and motivations during dialogue exchanges.
- Revise dialogue for more nuance and impact to avoid clichés and create authentic interactions.
- Clarify the rules and logic of the supernatural elements to reduce confusion and increase audience engagement.
- Vary pacing by interspersing moments of quiet character exploration with tension-building scenes to balance intensity.
- Consider innovative plot twists to avoid predictability and maintain suspense throughout the narrative.
Scene 1 - Nightmare Unleashed
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully builds tension from a near-silent, dark opening to a violent, abrupt climax. The introduction of the Polaroids, the mysterious creaks, and the sudden attack under the bed create immediate dread and questions. The abrupt interruption by Sandy Carter and the police, coupled with Ethan's chilling final line and grin, leaves the reader desperate to know what happens next: Who is Ethan? Why is he targeting Riley? What is his connection to her? This scene ends on multiple unresolved hooks, ensuring the reader needs to turn the page.
Scene 1 sets a powerful and terrifying tone, establishing Riley as a victim in immediate peril. The introduction of Ethan as a dangerous, possessive figure, the presence of police, and the hints of a larger, unresolved conflict (Ethan's 'You're not done being mine') create a strong narrative imperative. The opening scene immediately hooks the reader by presenting a clear threat and a protagonist in distress, making them eager to understand the backstory and the potential for future conflict.
Scene 2 - Shadows of the Past
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully ratchets up the tension by picking up three years after a traumatic event, immediately placing Riley in a state of heightened anxiety. The introduction of the occult textbook, particularly the illustration of Asmodeus and the cryptic inscription 'HAIR BINDS. BLOOD RELEASES,' directly connects to the earlier unsettling elements and hints at a deeper, supernatural threat. The 'VOICE MAIL' notification about Ethan's release is a gut punch, confirming her deepest fears and creating an immediate personal stakes. The unsettling creaks and the pacing shadow outside the library, culminating in the ominous depiction of the sorority house, leave the reader desperate to know how Riley will cope with this renewed terror and what awaits her within those dark walls.
The script has built a strong foundation of mystery and fear. The initial attack by Ethan, while seemingly resolved by police intervention, left lingering questions about his motives and Riley's safety, which are now being resurfaced. The introduction of the occult elements in Scene 2, specifically the sigil and the phrase 'HAIR BINDS. BLOOD RELEASES,' hints at a supernatural dimension that was only hinted at with the Polaroids and Ethan's predatory nature in Scene 1. The three-year time jump effectively shows the lasting psychological impact on Riley, making her current anxieties feel earned and her return to the sorority house loaded with foreshadowing. The overall momentum is driven by unresolved trauma, the resurfacing of a direct threat (Ethan), and the introduction of a new, potentially connected supernatural threat.
Scene 3 - A Night to Remember
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene serves as a flashback, offering a glimpse into Riley's past and her relationship with Tom. While it provides character context and a moment of innocence before the terror of Scene 1, it doesn't create an immediate urge to jump to the next scene. The primary purpose is to contrast with current events, rather than to propel the immediate narrative forward with new questions or suspense. The scene ends with a sweet, familial interaction, offering a sense of normalcy that doesn't beg for an immediate resolution or continuation.
The script's overall momentum is somewhat sustained by the contrast this flashback provides. It reminds the reader of Riley's earlier life, emphasizing what she has lost or is fighting to protect. However, the immediate narrative progression has slowed down significantly after the intense events of the previous two scenes. The unresolved mystery of Ethan's release and the lingering unease from the sorority house's atmosphere in Scene 2 are momentarily sidelined for character backstory, which, while important, doesn't create the same level of forward-driving tension.
Scene 4 - A Chilling Encounter
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene ratchets up the tension significantly by abruptly shifting from a warm, innocent domestic moment to a terrifying confrontation. The sudden appearance of Ethan, described with dead eyes and holding a rose, immediately creates a sense of dread. His possessive dialogue and invasive presence at Riley's home, directly confronting her about her date with Tom, introduce a dangerous and unsettling dynamic. The scene ends on a cliffhanger as Ethan turns back to stare, leaving the reader uncertain of his next move and compelling them to find out if he will escalate his threat or leave.
The screenplay has established a strong sense of unease and lingering threat since Scene 1. Riley's encounter with Ethan here directly echoes the past trauma, reinforcing the idea that this stalker is a persistent and dangerous element in her life. The introduction of Tom and Ethan's possessiveness over Riley adds a new layer to the existing danger, making the audience question how this past trauma will manifest in her current life. The placement of this flashback, after Riley has arrived at the sorority house and presumably is dealing with new supernatural threats (implied by her arrival at the house in Scene 2), suggests that these past interpersonal horrors are intrinsically linked to the present ones, making the overall narrative compelling.
Scene 5 - Silent Distress
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene immediately follows a highly tense confrontation, leaving the reader wanting to know the aftermath of Ethan's unsettling departure and what happens next. Riley's visible distress and near-tears state, combined with the re-ringing doorbell, create an immediate desire to see how she handles this new disruption and if Tom's arrival will offer any solace or further complicate things. The lingering presence of the dropped rose on the floor, a potent symbol of Ethan's intrusion, adds a visual hook that begs for explanation or further thematic exploration.
The script has built significant momentum with the initial home invasion scenario and now shifts to a flashback, adding layers to Riley's past and her relationship with Tom. The introduction of Ethan as a possessive figure creates a disturbing backstory, immediately raising questions about the nature of his obsession and its connection to the present terror. The abruptness of the flashback and its continuation here, immediately after a traumatic event, suggests these memories are crucial to understanding Riley's current state and the events that led her to the sorority house.
Scene 6 - Echoes of Dread
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully builds dread and suspense, making the reader desperately want to know what is making those sounds. Riley's actions of meticulously securing the house immediately after a traumatic flashback suggest a deep-seated fear. The decay of the foyer, described with unsettling similes like "shedding skin" and "exposed ribs of some enormous carcass," creates a palpable sense of unease. The sudden, unexplained metallic rings from below, especially after the flashback and Ethan's menacing presence, are potent hooks. The crooked basement door, implying a past struggle for escape, directly hints at something dangerous trapped or waiting, compelling the reader to discover its nature.
The script has maintained a high level of engagement throughout. Scene 1 established a terrifying supernatural/stalker threat with Ethan. The flashback scenes (3-5) provided crucial context for Riley's trauma and introduced Ethan's possessiveness. The immediate transition to the present in Scene 2 with Riley's heightened paranoia and arrival at the sorority house, followed by the intense build-up in Scene 6, demonstrates a consistent escalation of stakes and dread. The unanswered questions from Ethan's release, Riley's palpable fear, and the introduction of the ominous sorority house environment all contribute to a strong narrative pull. The mysterious rings in Scene 6 directly follow Riley's arrival at this potentially dangerous location, creating a compelling immediate mystery within the larger ongoing tension.
Scene 7 - Blizzard Whispers
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene effectively builds tension and introduces a compelling mystery that directly propels the reader to the next scene. The shift from casual conversation and relatable anxieties about post-college relevance to a genuinely eerie legend about missing sisters, coupled with the mysterious "RING" sound and the increasingly uneasy atmosphere, creates a strong urge to discover the source of these disturbances. The decision to investigate the basement, specifically to play an old game, is a direct consequence of the escalating unease and a classic hook that promises further revelation and potential danger.
The script as a whole maintains a high level of engagement through a layered approach to suspense and mystery. The initial trauma Riley experienced in Scene 1 (the stalker Ethan) is re-established by the VIN message, and the subsequent scenes have introduced a supernatural element tied to the sorority house's history. The introduction of the Dream Boy game and the escalating paranormal events in recent scenes have created a direct narrative push. This scene, in particular, amplifies the stakes by tying the current paranormal activity to a historical disappearance and a mysterious game, ensuring the reader wants to see how these threads connect and what will happen to the characters.
Scene 8 - Game Night in the Basement
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully ratchets up the tension and suspense, directly compelling the reader to continue. It begins with familiar horror tropes (creepy basement, flickering lights, unsettling sounds) but quickly introduces a compelling mystery with the carved trunk and the sigil-adorned box. The escalating unease among the characters, culminating in Brooke's defiant 'Game night starts now,' creates a powerful cliffhanger. The dialogue, particularly Riley's growing apprehension and Lilly's chilling interpretation of the box as an 'offering,' primes the reader for significant plot developments. The physical manifestations of the house's displeasure (groaning, dust falling) further solidify the sense that something dangerous is about to happen, leaving the reader desperate to know what the game entails and its consequences.
The script maintains a high level of engagement due to the escalating supernatural threats and the introduction of a central mystery. The flashback scenes, while adding depth to Riley's past trauma with Ethan, have also built a foundational dread. Scene 8 effectively brings the established tension from previous scenes (Riley's unease, the house's supernatural nature) to a boiling point by introducing a tangible object that promises direct confrontation with the unknown. The introduction of the occult box and the impending 'game' are direct hooks that promise answers and further terrifying events, building on the earlier hints of a ritualistic element in the house's history. The focus remains tightly on the immediate danger and the characters' reactions, ensuring forward momentum.
Scene 9 - The Dream Boy Game
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully escalates the tension established in the previous scenes. The introduction of the 'Dream Boy' game, with its cryptic rules and personalized cards, immediately hooks the reader. The glitching image of Eddie transforming into Ethan is a powerful visual cue that links the current horror to Riley's past trauma, and the immediate consequence of Chelsea breaking a rule – the lights going out and the unsettling footsteps – creates a strong desire to know what happens next to her and the other girls. The lingering fear and suspense are palpable, making the reader anxious to see the fallout of Chelsea's actions and the fate of the remaining characters.
The script has built significant momentum. The initial trauma of Scene 1, the introduction of occult themes in Scene 2, and the direct confrontation with Ethan in the flashback (Scenes 4 & 5) have laid the groundwork for the supernatural elements. The discovery of the game in Scene 8, combined with the ominous history of the house (mentioned in Scene 7), creates a perfect storm of rising dread. The stakes are incredibly high as characters are directly endangered by their choices within the game, and the unexplained phenomena are escalating rapidly. The introduction of a game with seemingly dire consequences, directly impacting the characters, propels the narrative forward with a compelling sense of urgency.
Scene 10 - Echoes in the Dark
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is highly compelling because it masterfully builds suspense and creates immediate questions for the reader. Chelsea's isolation, her self-reassurance, and the subtle, unsettling sensory details (groaning stairs, deep sigh, tap, bulging wallpaper, dripping) all contribute to a mounting sense of dread. The fact that she doesn't notice the reflection delay is a classic horror trope that amplifies the unease, promising something horrific is about to happen within the bathroom. The scene ends right at the precipice of revelation, making the reader desperate to know what Chelsea will find inside the bathroom and what the unseen force is.
The screenplay has been building a strong sense of supernatural dread and mystery, and this scene directly follows the breaking of the game's rules by Chelsea. The earlier introduction of the 'Dream Boy' game, the mysterious sigils, the historical disappearance of sisters, and Ethan's release all create a complex tapestry of threats. Chelsea's dangerous decision to go off alone into a suspicious environment, following the power outage and loss of cell service, directly addresses the immediate consequences of the broken rule. This creates a powerful hook, as the reader wants to see how this specific consequence unfolds and how it connects to the larger supernatural narrative and the fate of the other girls.
Scene 11 - The Game's Grip
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully ramps up the tension by directly addressing the consequences of Chelsea's rule-breaking. The dialogue between Riley and Brooke highlights the conflict between rationalizing the game and accepting its potentially supernatural implications. Lilly's palpable fear and Riley's attempts to reassure her ground the escalating dread. The mention of 'Jumanji' and 'witchcraft rules' directly contextualizes the danger. The abrupt chill and fogging breath at the end, coupled with Brooke's chilling declaration that it's her turn, create an immediate hook, making the reader desperate to know what happens next and how these rules will manifest.
The script continues to build an incredibly compelling narrative. Scene 11 masterfully integrates the immediate fallout from Chelsea's actions with the overarching threat established earlier. The mystery of the game's power, the fate of Chelsea, and the looming danger to Brooke are all potent hooks. The earlier introduction of Ethan's release (Scene 2) and the potential link between him and the occult elements (sigils, Asmodeus) are still simmering, adding a layer of personal horror to the supernatural threat. The introduction of the 'Dream Boy' game itself, and its uncanny connection to the protagonists' fears and past traumas, provides a strong through-line of escalating terror.
Scene 12 - Reflections of Fear
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling due to its intense, visceral horror. Chelsea's isolation amplifies the terror as her reflection literally deteriorates and then actively attacks her. The transformation of her reflection into Gary, followed by her physical aging and being dragged into the mirror, creates a shocking and horrifying spectacle that leaves the reader desperate to know if Chelsea can be saved and what happens next to her, Brooke, Riley, and Lilly. The scene masterfully uses body horror and the supernatural to deliver a brutal cliffhanger.
The script continues to escalate its horror at a breakneck pace, with this scene marking a significant turning point. The consequences of Chelsea breaking the game's rules are now devastatingly clear, raising the stakes dramatically. The fate of Chelsea and the implication that this is only the beginning of the game's true power are powerful hooks. The established lore around the game and the entities associated with it, coupled with the unresolved fates of Brooke, Riley, and Lilly, create immense pressure to continue reading and see how the remaining characters will confront this escalating supernatural threat.
Scene 13 - The Distorted Call
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene delivers a significant punch by directly confronting Brooke with the consequences of breaking the game's rules, and it does so in a uniquely terrifying way. The seemingly innocuous sound of a canned laugh track quickly devolves into a mocking, distorted cacophony, effectively ratcheting up the dread. Brooke's immediate fear and denial, followed by Riley's pointed reminder of the violated rule, create a potent mix of suspense and dread. The scene ends not with a resolution but with Brooke's dismissive statement, leaving the audience wondering what the amplified laughter truly signifies and what the repercussions will be for her, driving a strong desire to know what happens next.
The script continues to build its momentum with Scene 13. The immediate aftermath of Chelsea's disappearance in Scene 12, coupled with the escalating supernatural events, has created a high level of investment. Brooke's direct interaction with the game's negative repercussions, triggered by her rule-breaking, feels like a tangible consequence that raises the stakes. The script is adept at weaving together the personal fears of the characters with the overarching supernatural threat, ensuring that individual events contribute to the larger mystery and horror. The lingering mystery of the 'Dream Boy' game and the intentions of the entities it summons still provide a strong pull for the reader.
Scene 14 - The Haunting Search
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene effectively ratchets up the tension after the unsettling events in the bathroom and the living room. The immediate visual of Riley and Lilly racing down the hallway, coupled with their panic and the oppressive atmosphere of the closed doors, creates a strong desire to know what's happening. The discovery of the clean, seemingly normal bathroom followed by the hallway's distortion and the ominous older door with a 'rotting roses' smell leaves the reader with pressing questions and a heightened sense of dread, compelling them to turn the page.
The script continues to build its terrifying momentum. The events of Chelsea's disappearance and Brooke's disturbing phone call have established high stakes, and this scene directly follows up on those threads by showing the immediate aftermath of panic and searching. The introduction of the 'rotting roses' smell and the distorted hallway hints at deeper, more complex supernatural forces at play, tying into the earlier occult elements (like the textbook and sigils). The unresolved mysteries of Chelsea's whereabouts and the true nature of the house's influence are strong hooks that keep the reader invested in uncovering the truth.
Scene 15 - The Indestructible Box
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling due to its escalating horror and the direct confrontation with the supernatural. Brooke's attempt to destroy the Dream Boy box and its immediate, impossible reappearance is a powerful visual and emotional hook. The undeniable proof that the game is actively defying reality, coupled with the rising hum and the box lid opening on its own, creates intense dread and a strong desire to know what happens next. The shift to Riley and Lilly trying to break into Sue's room adds a layer of urgency and purpose to the narrative, suggesting they are actively trying to find answers or intervene.
The script's momentum is incredibly strong at this point. Scene 15 masterfully blends Brooke's direct confrontation with the game's power with Riley and Lilly's proactive investigation. This two-pronged approach—one character succumbing to fear and another actively seeking solutions—keeps the reader engaged and invested. The reappearance of the sigil, the failed attempt to destroy the box, and the breakthrough into Sue's room all contribute to a rising sense of stakes and discovery. The narrative has effectively built a sense of imminent danger and mystery, making the reader eager to see if Riley and Lilly can uncover the truth or if more girls will fall victim to the game.
Scene 16 - The Haunting Performance
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly impactful and leaves the reader desperate to know what happens next. The visceral, body-horror transformation and death of Brooke are horrifyingly effective. The scene ends with a sense of finality for Brooke, but the implication that the house itself is alive and consuming its inhabitants creates a massive cliffhanger regarding Chelsea and Lilly's fates, and what Riley will do upon discovering this. The lingering canned laughter from the TV adds a deeply unsettling final note, promising more psychological torment and supernatural destruction.
The script has built significant momentum through escalating supernatural events and the loss of Chelsea and now Brooke. This scene is a peak of the horror, confirming the tangible and deadly nature of the threat. The stakes are incredibly high, and the reader is invested in Riley and Lilly's survival and their potential to uncover the truth behind the house and its rituals, especially with the introduction of Asmodeus and the 1975 girls. The focus on the house as a sentient, consuming entity makes the overall narrative highly compelling.
Scene 17 - Whispers from the Past
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully builds suspense by introducing a visual manifestation of the missing girls from 1975. The transition from the immaculate room to the eerie appearance of the ghosts, their silent communication through the mirror, and the subsequent discovery of the hidden closet create a strong impetus to know what lies within. The mystery deepens significantly with the discovery of the false panel and the promise of further secrets hidden within.
The script continues to escalate its supernatural horror with the introduction of the 1975 missing girls. This adds a layer of historical mystery to the ongoing events, suggesting a recurring pattern of disappearances. The discovery of the hidden closet opens up new avenues for plot development and directly connects to the earlier mention of the house's history, fueling the reader's desire to understand the house's dark secrets and the fate of previous residents.
Scene 18 - The Haunting Revelation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully ratchets up the tension and delivers significant plot developments that immediately compel the reader to continue. The discovery of the Polaroids, arranged with sinister intent and personalized with a red pentagram around Chelsea's photo, creates a potent visual hook. The inexplicable shadow and the invisible hand circling Brooke's photo escalate the supernatural threat, making the reader desperate to know what happens next to Brooke and the others. The quick retreat and the chilling discovery of the hidden closet, followed by the escalating, disembodied giggle, leave no room for the reader to breathe, demanding they turn the page to understand the nature of this threat and its connection to the house and its inhabitants.
The script maintains an exceptionally high level of engagement. The immediate aftermath of Brooke's fate (Scene 16), the discovery of the occult arrangement of photos, and the introduction of new, terrifying supernatural elements in Sue's room and the hidden closet all contribute to a powerful forward momentum. The narrative has skillfully woven together the immediate threats faced by the characters with the underlying mystery of the house and its history, particularly the 1975 girls. The personal stakes are incredibly high, with clear danger to the characters, and the increasing intensity of the supernatural phenomena suggests a grander, more sinister force at play.
Scene 19 - Unease in the Kitchen
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene, a flashback to Riley's high school days, offers a crucial but unsettling glimpse into Sue's manipulative nature and her disturbing fascination with Riley. The quiet intimacy of the kitchen, juxtaposed with Sue's unnerving comments about the house, its history, and Riley's appearance, creates a palpable sense of unease. The act of Sue collecting Riley's hair is a significant, creepy reveal that directly ties into the 'hair binds' mentioned later in the script. While it provides vital backstory and raises questions about Sue's true intentions, it doesn't immediately propel the reader to discover what happens next in the present timeline; instead, it offers a deep dive into the past.
The script's momentum remains exceptionally high, driven by the escalating supernatural terror and the mystery surrounding the sorority house. The previous scenes have systematically eliminated characters (Brooke, Chelsea, Lilly) and introduced increasingly dangerous entities and rituals. This flashback, while taking a pause from the present-day horror, provides essential context for Sue's role and the nature of the 'binding' or 'claiming' that the house and its entities perform. The lingering threat established from Scene 1 (Ethan) and the ongoing mystery of the 1975 girls, combined with the recent horrors, all create a powerful urge to see how Riley will confront these accumulated threats and if she can possibly survive.
Scene 20 - The Haunting Call
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene masterfully escalates the stakes and directly addresses the consequences of the 'Dream Boy' game. The introduction of the hair doll and the subsequent phone call to Lilly, which results in a horrific physical manifestation and attack, provides immediate visceral horror. The scene ends on a desperate plea for safety, with the promise of a dangerous descent into the basement, leaving the reader with a strong urge to find out what happens next and how Riley and Lilly will cope with this new threat.
Scene 20 significantly ratchets up the supernatural threat, directly showing the game's destructive power by physically attacking Lilly. This event, following the implied demise of Brooke in the previous scene, solidifies the game's deadly nature and raises the stakes considerably. The dialogue about 'hair binds' and the reveal of the sigil and the hair doll begin to unravel the occult mechanics of the threat. The overall momentum is strong, driven by the immediate danger and the mystery of how these entities operate, but the long-term impact of these escalating horrors and the fate of the remaining characters are crucial hooks.
Scene 21 - Descent into Darkness
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene injects a potent mix of dread and urgent action. The discovery of the Super 8 footage, revealing Sue's involvement in the ritual and the ominous 'Finish the game' whisper, directly confronts the girls with the true nature of their predicament. Riley's creation of the hair doll, framed as a desperate attempt to fight back, is a visually and thematically compelling act. The scene then escalates rapidly with the phone ringing, Lilly's vanishing, and the sudden, overwhelming barrage of Polaroids—especially the one taken in real-time—all culminating in Riley's frantic escape. This rapid sequence of revelations and escalating supernatural threats leaves the reader desperate to know what happens next.
Scene 21 significantly advances the plot by confirming the occult nature of the 'game' and revealing Sue's direct involvement through the discovered film. The reveal of Ethan's release and Riley's personal trauma grounds the supernatural horror in relatable, real-world anxieties, making her fight more resonant. The disappearance of Lilly and the overwhelming manifestation of the Polaroids create a powerful cliffhanger. The ongoing mystery of the house, the entity, and the ultimate goal of the ritual are all intensified, compelling the reader to continue to understand how Riley will combat these forces and if Lilly can be saved.
Scene 22 - The Nightmarish Birthday
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling due to its intense horror and the horrific disintegration of a main character. Lilly's transformation and absorption into confetti, orchestrated by Zane in his true demonic form, is a shocking and visceral depiction of the game's power. The contrast between the cheerful party facade and the gruesome reality, combined with Zane's chilling declaration of Lilly's 'remembrance,' creates a strong desire to know how Riley will react and if she can possibly survive this escalating supernatural threat.
The script maintains an exceptionally high level of engagement. The complete erasure of Lilly, a significant character, raises the stakes dramatically, showing that the game is lethally real. This event, following the intense build-up of supernatural occurrences and personal traumas revealed in earlier scenes (Ethan's release, Riley's stalking, the missing girls), creates a desperate urgency for Riley to confront the source of the horror. The narrative has successfully established a pattern of escalating supernatural attacks and a clear antagonist in Sue and the entities she serves, making the reader eager to see how Riley will fight back or if she will suffer Lilly's fate.
Scene 23 - Illusions of Prom Night
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling due to its rapid escalation of surreal horror and Riley's desperate struggle. The transformation of the basement into a hallucination of a haunted prom night immediately throws the reader into a disorienting and terrifying new reality. The introduction of Eddie as a false idol, preying on Riley's trust issues and past traumas, is a masterful psychological play. The sudden appearance of Sue and the distorted music and strobing lights amplify the unease. The most impactful moment is Lilly's off-screen scream, which transforms Riley's internal struggle into an immediate, action-driven pursuit, creating an urgent need to know what has happened to Lilly and if Riley can save her.
The screenplay continues to maintain an extremely high level of engagement. The previous scenes have masterfully built a complex mythology involving occult rituals, hair binding, and demonology, while also developing Riley's personal trauma and resilience. The current scene injects a new, jarring hallucination that challenges Riley's perception of reality and directly leads into a high-stakes rescue attempt for Lilly, whose fate was left ambiguous at the end of Scene 22. This immediate personal stake for Riley, combined with the continued unraveling of the house's supernatural influence, ensures the reader is desperate to see how this confrontation plays out and if Lilly can be saved.
Scene 24 - Nightmare in the Kitchen
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is highly compelling due to its rapid escalation of horror and direct confrontation with supernatural manifestations. The juxtaposition of the seemingly normal kitchen with the horrific reveal of human teeth in the cookies immediately grabs the reader's attention and creates intense unease. The subsequent transformation of the wall into writhing hair and screaming faces, followed by the sudden appearance of Gary, Dean, and Zane, creates a desperate chase scenario. The scene ends with a new, immediate threat from the oven spewing flames like teeth, leaving the reader desperate to see how Riley will escape this onslaught.
The script's momentum remains incredibly high. The introduction of the 'Dream Boys' and Sue's direct manipulation of reality has led to increasingly intense confrontations. The current scene directly addresses the fates of Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly (revealing them as corrupted manifestations) and escalates the immediate danger to Riley by pitting her against a transformed trio and a hellish oven. The unresolved mystery of the house's ritualistic needs and the ultimate antagonist (Sue and her 'master') continue to drive the narrative forward, making the reader eager to see how Riley will combat these forces and uncover the full truth.
Scene 25 - Confronting the Chaos
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is an immediate, high-octane continuation of the previous scene's horrors. The visceral descriptions of the exploding clock, invading blizzard, and the unsettling arrival of the Dream Boys create an intense sense of urgency and dread. Riley's declaration of intent and her subsequent lunge towards the stairs leave the reader desperate to know if she will escape or confront Sue, and what further horrors await on the stairs.
The script has built significant momentum through escalating supernatural threats, character disappearances (Lilly), and Riley's growing resolve. The introduction of the 'Dream Boy' game, the occult elements, and the direct confrontations with malevolent entities have created a strong narrative drive. Riley's shift from victim to active fighter, culminating in her direct threat to Sue, sets up a clear and compelling climax, making the reader eager to see how these threads resolve.
Scene 26 - Descent into Nightmares
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is a masterclass in escalating dread and immediate peril. The visual of the stretching stairs and the sound of the groaning wood create a visceral sense of the environment actively working against Riley. The introduction of the Dream Boys crawling like spiders above her, coupled with their hypnotic voice-over, ramps up the psychological horror significantly. The climax of the stairs collapsing behind her into a void instantly raises the stakes, making it impossible for the reader to not want to know if Riley can possibly escape this actively malevolent space.
The script continues to build its momentum with relentless supernatural assault on Riley. The direct consequence of Lilly's fate and the introduction of the Dream Boys in the previous scenes directly propels Riley into this desperate flight. The recurring motifs of the house actively trying to consume its inhabitants, the visual manifestations of the entities, and Riley's determined resistance maintain a high level of engagement. The narrative is still densely packed with terrifying events and unanswered questions about the nature of the entities and Sue's role.
Scene 27 - Descent into Nightmares
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene immediately throws the reader into a terrifying chase, escalating the stakes significantly. The surreal and nightmarish environment of the hallway, which actively tries to ensnare Riley, creates intense suspense. The introduction of the slow, many, and inhuman footsteps approaching from behind generates a powerful sense of dread and an immediate need to know what is chasing her and if she will escape.
The script continues to build on the escalating supernatural horrors and Riley's desperate fight for survival. The established mythology surrounding the house, the entities (Dream Boys, Sue), and the rituals (hair binding, sigils) are all in play. The mystery of Lilly's disappearance and Chelsea and Brooke's fates, coupled with the appearance of Gary, Dean, and Zane, keeps the narrative momentum high. The immediate threat in this scene directly follows from earlier plot points and further fuels the reader's desire to see how Riley will overcome these escalating dangers and uncover the truth.
Scene 28 - The Banquet of Shadows
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene immediately ratchets up the tension from the previous one. The introduction of Sue as the orchestrator, her chilling pronouncement about the house needing to be fed, and the visual of the Dream Boys emerging from the walls creates a potent and immediate threat. The phrase 'You're the banquet' is a direct hook, leaving the reader desperate to know who the banquet is and what happens next. The imagery is highly visual and disturbing, making it hard to look away.
The script has been building a terrifying crescendo, and this scene delivers on several fronts. Sue's reveal as a central antagonist, her connection to the house's ritualistic needs, and the recurring threat of the Dream Boys solidify the core conflict. The mystery of the 'unseen character' being the banquet is a direct cliffhanger. While the earlier plot threads about Ethan and the initial attack are currently overshadowed, the immediate danger presented here is a strong enough hook to keep the reader invested.
Scene 29 - The Ascent of Fear
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is incredibly compelling due to its relentless escalation of horror and a clear, desperate chase. The visual and auditory elements are deeply unsettling, from the Dream Boys' grotesque transformation to the swarm of moths and Sue's disembodied laughter. The stakes are raised as Riley is funneled into a single direction, the attic, with the physical environment actively working against her, including the sentient attic ladder. The introduction of the hair doll as a tool of resistance and the impending confrontation with Sue and potentially a greater entity creates immense forward momentum.
The script is maintaining an incredibly high level of engagement. The introduction of the 'banquet' concept in the previous scene, combined with Riley's now desperate flight into the attic, suggests a climactic confrontation is imminent. The established mythology of the house, the entities, and the rules of the game are coming to a head. The personal trauma of Ethan's release and Riley's past stalker experiences are weaving into the supernatural horror, adding a layer of personal stakes that keeps the reader invested in her survival and understanding of these events.
Scene 30 - Confrontation in the Attic
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene is the climax and resolution of the primary supernatural conflict, offering a high-octane, visually dynamic confrontation. Riley actively battles the entities, uses her learned knowledge to break the pact, and ultimately defeats the antagonists. The scene ends with the destruction of the magical elements and the release of the trapped spirits, providing a cathartic release of tension. The final moments of Riley's actions, particularly the destruction of her own hair doll and her determined exit, leave the reader wanting to see the immediate aftermath and how she copes with the immense trauma.
Scene 30 represents the ultimate payoff for the supernatural horror and mystery built throughout the screenplay. It delivers on the promises of the occult elements, the threat of Asmodeus, and the fate of the missing girls. The personal stakes for Riley, stemming from her encounter with Ethan and the ritualistic nature of the house, are all brought to a head. The resolution of the primary conflict here makes the reader eager to see how Riley deals with the aftermath, what the 'real world' consequences are, and if any lingering threads (like Ethan's release) will be explored.
Scene 31 - Haunted by Shadows
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene serves as a significant cooldown after the intense climax of the previous scene. While it wraps up the immediate supernatural events, it doesn't introduce new immediate plot hooks or cliffhangers that compel the reader to jump to the next scene. Instead, it focuses on the aftermath and Riley's trauma, which is important for character development but less effective for immediate narrative momentum. The lingering gaze at the attic window offers a hint of unresolved issues, but it's not strong enough to create urgency.
The script has built a tremendous amount of momentum through its escalating supernatural horror and a clear protagonist fighting against overwhelming odds. The resolution of the immediate threat in the previous scene, followed by this aftermath, provides a necessary breath before potentially introducing new developments. The lingering psychological impact on Riley, the unresolved threat of Ethan's release (mentioned in Scene 2 and implied by his reappearance in the police car hallucination), and the general trauma from the events leave the reader wondering about Riley's future and the long-term consequences. The shift from supernatural climax to the mundane reality of police investigations grounds the story and sets up potential for new narrative arcs.
Scene 32 - Haunting Reflections
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene provides a brief moment of respite and reflection after the intense events of the previous night. While it offers a sense of immediate safety in the police cruiser, it doesn't present any new plot developments or immediate hooks that compel the reader to rush to the next scene. The brief hallucination of Ethan offers a flicker of suspense, but its nature as a hallucination rather than a concrete threat lessens its immediate impact on driving the narrative forward.
The overall script still maintains a good level of intrigue due to the lingering trauma and unanswered questions surrounding Riley's experience. The introduction of Ethan's potential return, even as a hallucination, suggests his past connection to Riley is not entirely severed and could resurface. Furthermore, the repetitive mention of the controlled breathing exercises and the return of the 'Victim Information and Notification Everyday' service (implied from the prior scene's summary) hint at Riley's ongoing struggle and the possibility of future threats, keeping the reader invested in her continued fight for safety and understanding.
Scene 33 - Awakening Fear
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
This scene provides a sense of closure for the immediate supernatural threat, but the final moments reintroduce the lingering dread and unresolved issues from the past. Riley's brief moment of relief after waking from her dream is shattered by the Polaroid photo and Ethan's release, creating a powerful cliffhanger that demands the reader know what happens next. The final ring sound, though faint, suggests that the supernatural elements are not entirely gone, leaving the reader with a sense of anticipation and unease.
The script has masterfully built a complex narrative of supernatural horror, psychological trauma, and survival. The introduction of the "Dream Boy" game and the subsequent fates of Chelsea, Brooke, and Lilly created high stakes and a deep investment in Riley's survival. The resolution of the immediate supernatural threat in the attic by Riley's actions, while brutal, provides a satisfying conclusion to the central conflict. However, the final scene cleverly reintroduces the human threat of Ethan and the lingering ambiguity of the supernatural, leaving the reader intensely curious about Riley's future.
- Physical environment: The world is primarily set in a contemporary, everyday setting that frequently transforms into surreal, nightmarish realms. Locations include ordinary spaces like bedrooms, libraries, sorority houses, and basements, which are depicted with elements of decay, cold drafts, flickering lights, and supernatural distortions. Natural phenomena such as blizzards, snow, and storms heighten the atmosphere of isolation and dread, while hidden or neglected areas like attics and closets reveal occult artifacts and ritualistic elements. This blend of mundane and eerie physicality creates a constant sense of unease, where reality warps into horror, emphasizing themes of vulnerability and the unknown.
- Culture: The cultural landscape is steeped in themes of fear, obsession, and the occult, drawing from modern psychological and supernatural beliefs. Elements include teenage romance, sorority sisterhood, and rituals involving games and symbols that echo ancient folklore and demonology, such as references to Asmodeus and sigils. There is a strong undercurrent of nostalgia mixed with dread, seen in reminiscences of college life and historical events like the 1975 disappearances, which highlight cultural anxieties about aging, visibility, and the blending of past and present horrors. This culture fosters a sense of inescapable personal and collective trauma.
- Society: Society is structured around contemporary institutions like family, law enforcement, academia, and social groups, but it is portrayed as flawed and inadequate in addressing individual vulnerabilities. Dynamics include supportive yet tense family relationships, dismissive authority figures (e.g., police and victim services), and social hierarchies within sorority life that exacerbate feelings of isolation and invisibility. The societal framework underscores issues of stalking, mental health neglect, and the failure of systems to protect individuals, leading to a world where personal horrors are amplified by interpersonal and institutional shortcomings.
- Technology: Technology is minimal and often serves as a conduit for supernatural elements, blending modern and archaic devices. Items like phones, lanterns, projectors, and game boxes are used, but they frequently malfunction or become possessed, such as ringing phones that summon entities or distorted media that reveals horrors. This sparse technological presence emphasizes a reliance on primal fears over digital advancement, creating a contrast that heightens the surreal and eerie atmosphere, while symbolizing how everyday tools can be weaponized in a world of occult threats.
- Characters influence: The world's elements profoundly shape characters' experiences and actions by amplifying their fears and forcing adaptive responses. The oppressive physical environment, with its decay and supernatural shifts, induces constant anxiety and defensive behaviors, such as Riley's use of breathing exercises and ritualistic actions to cope. Cultural obsessions with the occult and personal traumas drive characters to confront or flee from dangers, influencing decisions like engaging in forbidden games or seeking hidden truths. Societal failures, like inadequate protection from stalkers, lead to isolation and self-reliance, while technology's unreliability heightens paranoia, compelling characters to navigate a blurred reality where every action is a fight for survival and agency.
- Narrative contribution: The world elements drive the narrative by building suspense and escalating horror through environmental transformations and cultural rituals, creating a cohesive arc of terror and revelation. The physical and supernatural shifts propel plot progression, such as the Dream Boy game's influence leading to character demises and confrontations. Cultural and societal aspects ground the story in relatable human struggles, making supernatural intrusions more impactful and providing context for character motivations. Technology acts as key plot devices, triggering events and symbolizing the invasion of the mundane by the otherworldly, ultimately culminating in a cycle of trauma that ties the narrative together with themes of inescapable fate and resolution.
- Thematic depth contribution: The world elements deepen the script's thematic exploration of fear, trauma, and the fragility of reality by illustrating how environmental decay and cultural rituals mirror internal psychological horrors. The physical environment's surreal changes underscore themes of loss of control and the blurring of dreams and reality, while societal structures highlight the isolation and vulnerability inherent in modern life. Culturally, the occult elements emphasize the power of belief and the consequences of ignored dangers, and technology's role amplifies themes of manipulation and deception. Collectively, these aspects enrich the narrative's commentary on personal agency, the enduring impact of past traumas, and the human need to confront and reclaim control in a hostile world.
| Voice Analysis | |
|---|---|
| Summary: | The writer's voice is characterized by a masterful blend of atmospheric tension, vivid sensory details, and sharp, psychologically driven dialogue. There's a consistent thread of suspense and unease woven throughout, often amplified by supernatural or unsettling elements. The voice leans into the darker aspects of human experience, exploring themes of fear, trauma, control, and the unknown. Narrative descriptions are evocative and contribute significantly to mood, while dialogue is often sparse but impactful, revealing character depth through subtext and emotional undercurrents. This distinctive voice creates a chilling and immersive experience for the reader. |
| Voice Contribution | The writer's voice significantly contributes to the overall mood, themes, and depth of the script by consistently building suspense and dread. It heightens the psychological turmoil of the characters, particularly Riley, and amplifies the themes of confronting past traumas, the fragility of perceived reality, and the pervasive nature of fear. The vivid descriptions and evocative language immerse the audience in the unsettling atmosphere, while the sharp dialogue and character interactions reveal the underlying emotional complexities and escalating stakes, adding layers of depth and psychological realism even within supernatural contexts. |
| Best Representation Scene | 6 - Echoes of Dread |
| Best Scene Explanation | Scene 6 best showcases the author's unique voice due to its skillful use of descriptive language and atmospheric elements that create a palpable sense of dread and anticipation. The vivid sensory details ('decaying surroundings,' 'chilling draft,' 'sharp, metallic ring,' 'crooked basement door,' 'quickening breath,' 'drip of melting snow') immediately establish a deeply unsettling atmosphere. The narrative direction and description focus on Riley's internal state ('freezing her in place,' 'intensifying her fear and anxiety') while hinting at an unseen, ominous threat. The unresolved tension at the end is a hallmark of the writer's style, leaving the audience on edge and fully immersed in the suspenseful mood. |
Style and Similarities
The script demonstrates a strong inclination towards atmospheric suspense, psychological tension, and the exploration of dark, often supernatural, themes. There's a consistent weaving of mystery and dread, frequently set within domestic or familiar environments that become unsettling. The writing often balances character-driven emotional depth with genre elements, suggesting a focus on how internal struggles manifest externally, sometimes with a touch of the surreal or uncanny. Dialogue appears to be sharp and used to reveal character and advance the intricate plots.
Style Similarities:
| Writer | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Guillermo del Toro | Guillermo del Toro is overwhelmingly the most frequently cited influence. His signature blend of dark fantasy, horror, supernatural elements, atmospheric tension, and psychological depth is evident across a significant portion of the scenes. The recurring themes of eerie settings, mysterious phenomena, and the intermingling of the fantastical with human emotion strongly align with his established style. |
| Mike Flanagan | Mike Flanagan's influence is also consistently noted, particularly in his skill for psychological horror, building suspense, and exploring characters' internal struggles and fears within supernatural contexts. The thematic focus on character goals, internal and external pressures, and the creation of haunting narratives aligns with multiple scene analyses. |
| Gillian Flynn | Gillian Flynn's contribution is highlighted in her ability to craft dark, suspenseful atmospheres, complex character dynamics, and intricate plot twists with psychological depth. Several scenes point to a similar writing style in creating emotionally charged narratives with hidden motivations. |
| Jordan Peele | Jordan Peele's impact is seen in the script's tendency to blend horror, thriller, and social commentary, often within a framework of mystery and psychological unease. The use of genre to explore deeper themes and create tension-filled scenarios with underlying messages is a recurring observation. |
Other Similarities: The script appears to be aiming for a tone that is both sophisticated and unsettling, drawing from masters of psychological and supernatural horror. There's a clear intent to create immersive worlds that feel both familiar and nightmarish. The recurring comparisons to directors and writers known for their intricate plots and nuanced characters suggest a script that is not just about scares, but also about the human condition under duress. The presence of influences like David Lynch also hints at potential surrealist or dreamlike sequences that further blur the lines of reality.
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
| Pattern | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Nostalgic Tone Correlates with Lower Character Changes | In scenes featuring a nostalgic tone (e.g., scenes 3 and 7), the character changes score drops to 8, compared to the typical 9 or 10 in other scenes. This suggests that reflective or memory-focused moments may not advance character arcs as dynamically, potentially indicating an unconscious tendency to prioritize atmosphere over character development in these sections, which could be an area for the author to enhance by integrating more transformative elements. |
| Dialogue Scores Dip in Darker, Less Action-Oriented Tones | Scenes with tones like 'Dark' or 'Eerie' without high-intensity elements (e.g., scene 6 with 'Tense', 'Suspenseful', 'Dark' scoring dialogue at 7) show lower dialogue grades (7 or 8), while terror or suspense-heavy scenes maintain higher scores (9 or 10). This pattern implies that the author's dialogue is stronger in high-tension contexts, but may lack vitality in more subdued or introspective scenes, offering an opportunity to refine dialogue to better sustain engagement throughout. |
| High Stakes Strongly Linked to Emotional Impact and Story Progression | There is a consistent positive correlation where high stakes scores (9 or 10) align with elevated emotional impact and 'move story forward' scores in scenes like 15, 16, and 25. However, in scenes with slightly lower stakes or more exploratory tones (e.g., scene 17), these scores dip, suggesting that the author excels at using risk to drive emotional depth and plot, but might benefit from incorporating subtler stakes in transitional scenes to maintain momentum without relying solely on high drama. |
| Supernatural Elements Enhance Conflict but May Reduce Character Depth | Scenes with supernatural tones (e.g., scenes 12, 15, 18) often have high conflict and emotional impact scores (9 or 10), but character changes scores are frequently lower (8 or 9). This indicates that while supernatural aspects effectively heighten tension, they might inadvertently limit opportunities for nuanced character evolution, possibly because the focus shifts to external threats—advising the author to balance these elements by weaving in more personal growth during such sequences. |
| Tense and Suspenseful Tones Dominate with Consistent High Grades, But Dips Signal Potential Fatigue | The majority of scenes maintain tones centered on 'Tense' and 'Suspenseful' with overall grades of 9 or 10, but occasional drops in categories like dialogue and character changes (e.g., scene 6 with multiple 7s and 8s) occur in mid-script scenes. This could reflect an unintentional pacing issue or creative fatigue, where sustained intensity leads to less variation in execution—suggesting the author introduce tonal shifts earlier to refresh engagement and prevent score inconsistencies. |
| Character Changes Less Frequent in Mystery-Oriented Scenes | In scenes emphasizing mystery or curiosity (e.g., scenes 7, 17, 27), character changes scores are lower (7 or 8), even when other elements like plot and conflict score highly. This pattern may reveal that the author's strength in building intrigue sometimes overshadows character development, potentially making arcs feel static during investigative phases—recommending the integration of more internal conflicts or revelations to ensure characters evolve alongside the mystery. |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The screenplay demonstrates a strong command of atmosphere, suspense, and character dynamics, effectively engaging the audience through vivid descriptions and emotional depth. The writer showcases a talent for blending genres, particularly horror and psychological elements, creating a compelling narrative. However, there are opportunities for improvement in areas such as dialogue subtext, pacing, and character development to enhance the overall impact of the story.
Key Improvement Areas
Suggestions
| Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
|---|---|---|
| Book | Read 'Save the Cat! Writes a Novel' by Jessica Brody | This book provides valuable insights on structuring and developing compelling narratives, which can enhance the writer's storytelling craft, particularly in pacing and character arcs. |
| Screenplay | Study screenplays known for their strong dialogue and character dynamics, such as 'Gone Girl' by Gillian Flynn and 'The Sixth Sense' by M. Night Shyamalan. | Analyzing these screenplays can help the writer understand how to create tension through dialogue and develop complex character relationships. |
| Video | Watch analysis videos on pacing and suspense in screenwriting. | These resources can provide insights into effective techniques for building tension and maintaining audience engagement throughout the narrative. |
| Exercise | Practice writing dialogue exchanges that reveal subtext and emotional conflict.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise will strengthen the writer's ability to convey deeper character motivations and enhance the emotional impact of scenes. |
| Exercise | Write scenes with escalating tension and unpredictable twists.Practice In SceneProv | This practice will help the writer refine their skills in creating suspenseful narratives and maintaining audience interest. |
| Exercise | Develop character monologues that explore internal conflicts and motivations.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise will deepen character development and enrich the emotional resonance of the screenplay. |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
| Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| The Final Girl | Riley Carter survives the horrors of the sorority house, facing off against supernatural threats and ultimately confronting the source of evil. | The Final Girl trope refers to the last surviving character, often a female, who confronts the antagonist and survives. A classic example is Laurie Strode in 'Halloween', who faces Michael Myers in the final act. |
| Haunted House | The sorority house is depicted as a character in itself, filled with supernatural occurrences and a dark history. | The haunted house trope involves a location that is inhabited by spirits or supernatural forces, often tied to a tragic past. An example is the Overlook Hotel in 'The Shining', which is haunted by the ghosts of its former guests. |
| Stalker with a Crush | Ethan Rowe is portrayed as a stalker who has an obsessive crush on Riley, leading to terrifying encounters. | This trope involves a character who is infatuated with another, often leading to dangerous and obsessive behavior. An example is Joe Goldberg in 'You', who becomes dangerously obsessed with the women he pursues. |
| Creepy Dolls | The hair doll crafted by Riley serves as a supernatural object that embodies the horror elements of the story. | Creepy dolls are often used in horror to evoke fear and symbolize innocence corrupted. An example is the Annabelle doll in 'The Conjuring', which is possessed by a malevolent spirit. |
| The Occult | The use of occult symbols and rituals, such as the sigils and the Dream Boy game, plays a central role in the plot. | The occult trope involves the use of supernatural practices, often leading to dark consequences. An example is 'The Craft', where a group of girls use witchcraft for personal gain, leading to unintended results. |
| The Chosen One | Riley is depicted as the one who must confront the evil forces and ultimately break the cycle of horror. | The Chosen One trope involves a character who is destined to confront evil or fulfill a prophecy. An example is Neo in 'The Matrix', who is prophesied to end the war between humans and machines. |
| The Mentor | Sue serves as a mentor figure, albeit a sinister one, guiding Riley through the horrors of the house. | The mentor trope involves a character who provides guidance and wisdom to the protagonist. An example is Mr. Miyagi in 'The Karate Kid', who teaches Daniel how to defend himself. |
| The Power of Friendship | Riley's relationships with her friends are central to her strength and survival against the supernatural threats. | This trope emphasizes the importance of friendship and teamwork in overcoming challenges. An example is the group of friends in 'Stranger Things', who rely on each other to face supernatural threats. |
| The Twist Ending | The story concludes with a twist that leaves Riley haunted by her experiences and the unresolved threat of Ethan. | The twist ending trope involves an unexpected conclusion that changes the viewer's understanding of the story. An example is 'The Sixth Sense', where the protagonist realizes he has been dead the whole time. |
Memorable lines in the script:
| Scene Number | Line |
|---|---|
| 1 | Ethan: You're not done being mine. |
| 28 | Sue: Every fifty years... The house must be fed. |
| 5 | Ethan: I’d be good to you. You know I would. |
| 11 | BROOKE: Okay, let’s walk this out like adults. Rule One: 'Once the game is started, it must be finished.' |
| 12 | Reflection (V.O.): What happens when they stop looking at you, Chelsea? |
Logline Analysis
Top Performing Loglines
Creative Executive's Take
Logline_7 is the top choice for its exceptional factual accuracy and commercial appeal, as it precisely captures the script's core elements, including the awakening of Asmodeus through the board game and the fight to release trapped souls, as depicted in scenes involving the 1975 sorority girls and the demonic rituals. This logline stands out by naming specific supernatural entities and historical references, making it highly marketable in the horror genre, where audiences crave detailed mythological hooks similar to films like 'The Conjuring'. Its blend of group dynamics among the sorority sisters and personal stakes creates a compelling, relatable narrative that could attract a wide demographic, emphasizing themes of survival and sisterhood, while its concise structure ensures it's pitch-perfect for Hollywood executives seeking high-concept stories with broad appeal.
Strengths
This logline excels in building personal stakes and urgency, clearly linking Riley's trauma to the supernatural events and creating a compelling narrative arc.
Weaknesses
It is slightly longer than ideal, which might dilute its punch, but it remains highly effective overall.
Suggested Rewrites
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 10 | The immediate danger of a stalker's release and a cursed game creates intense intrigue and emotional pull. | "It hooks with elements like the voicemail (scene 2) and game rules (scene 9), central to the script's escalating tension." |
| Stakes | 10 | Extremely high stakes are conveyed, with the threat of permanent loss to Riley and her sisters. | "The script's fatal outcomes (e.g., scenes 12, 16) and the house's claim (scene 28) support the 'forever' consequence mentioned." |
| Brevity | 7 | At 42 words, it is a bit lengthy, which could be trimmed for better impact without losing essence. | "While detailed, the word count exceeds typical logline brevity, though it efficiently covers all key points." |
| Clarity | 10 | The logline is crystal clear, with a logical progression from setup to conflict and resolution. | "It directly references Ethan's release (scene 2) and the game's awakening (scene 9), making the story easy to grasp." |
| Conflict | 10 | Conflict is multifaceted, involving personal, supernatural, and group elements. | "The logline captures the dual threats from Ethan and the demon, as seen in flashbacks (scene 4) and confrontations (scene 29)." |
| Protagonist goal | 10 | Riley's goals to confront her abuser and reclaim herself are explicitly and powerfully stated. | "In scenes 30 and 24, Riley faces Ethan and the demon, aligning with the logline's depiction of her fight for agency." |
| Factual alignment | 10 | It accurately and comprehensively reflects the script's events and themes. | "Details such as the stalker's release, the 'Dream Boy' game, and the house's hunger are precisely mirrored in scenes 1-33." |
Creative Executive's Take
Logline_2 excels in factual accuracy by directly referencing the high-school attack with polaroids and the demonic board game, which are central to Riley's backstory and the unfolding horrors in the script summary, such as the Polaroid photos and Ethan's influence. Commercially, it cleverly intertwines personal trauma with supernatural elements, offering a hook that resonates with viewers who enjoy emotionally charged horror like 'It Follows', where past abuses fuel present terrors. This approach not only ensures narrative depth but also enhances marketability by appealing to audiences interested in psychological thrillers, with its focus on Riley using the abuser's rules against him providing a satisfying arc of empowerment that could drive word-of-mouth buzz and position the film as a standout in festival circuits or streaming platforms.
Strengths
This logline effectively captures the core supernatural elements and group dynamics from the script, while clearly establishing Riley's personal motivation and leadership role, making it engaging and true to the story.
Weaknesses
It could better integrate the personal horror elements, such as the polaroids and Ethan's influence, to deepen the connection between the supernatural and Riley's past trauma.
Suggested Rewrites
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 10 | The combination of a forbidden game, a storm, and Riley's haunted past creates an immediate sense of intrigue and urgency. | "The logline hooks with elements like the occult game (scene 9) and Riley's trauma (scene 1), which are central to the script's tension-building." |
| Stakes | 10 | High stakes are evident with the demon's awakening and the need to seal the gateway, implying dire consequences for failure. | "The script shows multiple deaths (e.g., scenes 12, 16, 22) and the house's hunger in scene 28, supporting the logline's implication of life-or-death outcomes." |
| Brevity | 9 | At 28 words, it is concise and to the point, avoiding unnecessary details while covering key aspects. | "The logline efficiently summarizes the plot without overloading, similar to how the script condenses complex events into focused scenes." |
| Clarity | 9 | The logline is straightforward and easy to follow, clearly outlining the setup and conflict without ambiguity. | "Phrases like 'awakening Asmodeus through personalized nightmares' directly reference the script's events in scenes 9-16, where the game causes tailored horrors." |
| Conflict | 8 | Conflict is present with the game awakening the demon and personalized nightmares, but it could more explicitly tie in the earthly predator element. | "Scenes like the basement exploration (scene 8) and attacks (scene 29) show supernatural conflict, but Ethan's role is less emphasized here compared to his prominence in the script's flashbacks." |
| Protagonist goal | 9 | Riley's goal to fight and seal the demon is explicitly stated, aligning with her actions throughout the script. | "In scene 30, Riley confronts and defeats the demon, mirroring the logline's description of leading the fight to 'release trapped souls and seal the demon's gateway'." |
| Factual alignment | 10 | It accurately reflects the script's events, including the game, demon, and Riley's backstory. | "Details like Asmodeus (scene 2), personalized nightmares (e.g., scene 12), and the fight to seal the gateway (scene 30) are faithfully represented." |
Creative Executive's Take
This logline is factually spot-on, highlighting how the 'Dream Boy' game preys on fears of invisibility and obsession, as seen in the script's personalized nightmares for each character, and accurately describes the binding of the curse with blood and hair, drawn from key ritual scenes. Commercially, it taps into feminist horror trends, making it highly appealing in today's market, akin to 'Ready or Not', by framing the story as one of reclamation and agency, which could attract diverse audiences and spark social media discussions. Its vivid language and thematic focus create a strong emotional hook, differentiating it from generic horror loglines and positioning it as a potential award-contender or crossover hit that balances scares with meaningful commentary.
Strengths
It adeptly highlights the thematic elements of fear and agency, tying them to the script's supernatural and personal conflicts in a concise manner.
Weaknesses
The logline could better specify the group context and Riley's backstory to make the protagonist's journey more immediate and relatable.
Suggested Rewrites
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 10 | The contrast between innocence and deadly obsession is highly engaging, tapping into universal fears. | "The logline's hook mirrors the script's setup in scene 9, where the game starts innocently but escalates to horror." |
| Stakes | 9 | Stakes are high with the curse preying on fears, implying loss of self and life, though not as vividly personal as in some variants. | "The script shows characters losing themselves (e.g., scene 22) and Riley's fight for agency against Ethan and the demon." |
| Brevity | 9 | At 28 words, it is succinct and focused, delivering key information without excess. | "The logline efficiently covers the game's turn and Riley's resolution, akin to the script's paced revelations." |
| Clarity | 9 | The logline is clear in its setup and resolution, with straightforward language describing the game's transformation. | "The 'Dream Boy' game is accurately depicted as turning deadly in scenes 9-12, and the themes align with character dialogues (e.g., scene 7)." |
| Conflict | 9 | Conflict involves both internal fears and external predators, creating a layered antagonism. | "Scenes like the basement discovery (scene 8) and attacks by Dream Boys (scene 24) illustrate the dual threats from supernatural and earthly elements." |
| Protagonist goal | 9 | Riley's goal to bind the curse and reclaim agency is explicit and empowering. | "In scene 30, Riley uses blood and hair in a ritual, directly supporting the logline's description of her actions." |
| Factual alignment | 10 | It faithfully represents the script's rituals and themes. | "References to 'blood and hair' (scene 21) and fears of invisibility (e.g., scene 7) are accurate to the narrative." |
Creative Executive's Take
Logline_3 accurately reflects the script's feminist undertones and supernatural elements, such as the 'dream boy' transforming into a predator and the need to rewrite an ancient contract, which aligns with scenes involving the ritualistic pact and Riley's confrontation with Sue. While commercially viable, it shines by emphasizing gender dynamics in horror, drawing parallels to films like 'Jennifer's Body', which could broaden its appeal to progressive audiences and critics. However, its strength lies in its concise, thematic hook that highlights empowerment, making it marketable for targeted campaigns, though it could benefit from more specific references to enhance its punch; overall, it effectively captures the story's essence without overwhelming detail, ensuring it remains engaging and relevant.
Strengths
This logline skillfully weaves Riley's personal trauma with the supernatural elements, creating a strong emotional hook and clear progression of conflict.
Weaknesses
It could improve by more explicitly stating the group dynamics and the demon's identity to better align with the script's ensemble and specific mythology.
Suggested Rewrites
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 9 | The blend of real-world trauma and supernatural horror is intriguing, drawing readers in with immediate peril. | "The logline references Ethan's attack (scene 1) and the game's horrors (scene 9), which are central to the script's tension." |
| Stakes | 9 | High personal and supernatural stakes are implied, with the 'blood-soaked bargain' suggesting severe consequences. | "The script's deaths (e.g., scene 12) and the house's ritual (scene 28) support this, though the logline could emphasize the sisters' lives more." |
| Brevity | 8 | At 32 words, it is slightly wordy, with some phrases that could be condensed for better impact. | "While concise, the logline includes details that, though accurate, make it less punchy compared to ideal logline lengths." |
| Clarity | 8 | The logline is mostly clear but uses metaphorical language like 'haunted by polaroids' that might confuse some readers without immediate context. | "The polaroids are a key motif in scenes 1 and 18, but the logline's phrasing could be tighter to avoid vagueness." |
| Conflict | 9 | Conflict is robust, pitting Riley against both human and demonic predators, with clear escalation. | "Scenes like the game turning deadly (scene 9) and the Dream Boys' attacks (scene 24) align with the logline's predator theme." |
| Protagonist goal | 9 | Riley's goal to use the abuser's rules against him is well-defined and ties into her agency. | "In scene 30, Riley uses the hair doll and ritual to fight back, echoing the logline's idea of turning the rules against the predator." |
| Factual alignment | 10 | It accurately captures key elements like the polaroids, board game, and Riley's use of rules. | "Elements such as the high-school attack (scene 1), Dream Boys as predators (scene 16), and the house's bargain (scene 30) are well-represented." |
Creative Executive's Take
Logline_0 is factually accurate in depicting the stalker's release, the awakening of an ancient hunger through the board game, and Riley's fight to reclaim herself, as supported by the script's opening scenes and climax. Commercially, it offers a solid, accessible hook that echoes successful horror franchises like 'The Ring', with its blend of personal and supernatural threats, but it lacks the specificity of top choices, potentially making it less distinctive in a crowded market. Still, its straightforward structure and clear stakes make it appealing for general audiences, positioning it as a reliable option for mainstream production, though it might not generate the same buzz as more nuanced loglines due to its broader approach.
Strengths
It effectively emphasizes the thematic depth and feminist undertones, making it intellectually engaging and true to the script's core messages.
Weaknesses
The logline lacks specificity on the protagonist's personal backstory and the group dynamics, making it feel somewhat generic and less character-driven.
Suggested Rewrites
Detailed Scores
| Criterion | Score | Reason | Evidence |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hook | 9 | The feminist angle and literalization of desire are intriguing, appealing to audiences interested in thematic depth. | "It hooks with the 'dream boy' concept from scene 9, tying into broader themes of obsession explored in the script." |
| Stakes | 9 | Stakes are implied through the need to free trapped girls, evoking historical and ongoing danger. | "The 1975 ritual (scene 17) and current entrapments (e.g., scene 22) support this, though the logline could heighten emotional urgency." |
| Brevity | 10 | At 24 words, it is highly concise, packing in theme and conflict without wasted words. | "The logline's brevity mirrors the script's efficient scene structuring, focusing on core elements." |
| Clarity | 8 | While clear in its thematic focus, the language is somewhat abstract, potentially alienating readers unfamiliar with the concepts. | "Terms like 'feminist-inflected' and 'literalized' are thematic but not directly tied to script details, such as the specific game in scene 9." |
| Conflict | 8 | Conflict is present with the predator ideal and ancient ritual, but it downplays the ensemble and Riley's dual battles. | "The Dream Boys as predators (scene 24) and ritual elements (scene 30) are accurate, but the logline generalizes the horror." |
| Protagonist goal | 8 | The goal to rewrite the contract is stated, but it's vague without naming Riley or her motivations. | "Riley's actions in scene 30 involve breaking the sigil, but the logline omits her personal connection to Ethan, a key driver in the script." |
| Factual alignment | 9 | It aligns well with the script's rituals and themes but omits specific details like Ethan's role. | "The 'ancient contract' refers to the house's feeding ritual (scene 28), and the trapped girls (scene 17) are included, but Riley's backstory is underrepresented." |
Other Loglines
- A traumatized young woman’s attempt at a normal senior year spirals into a nightmarish fight for survival when a haunted dating game preys on the campus’ most visible girls; to save herself she must unmake the pact her house made decades ago.
- When a college 'game night' awakens a house that feeds on being seen, a reluctant survivor must turn the sorority’s ritualized memories into weapons—binding hair and speaking truth—to send the demon back and finally stop being owned.
- In a blizzard-trapped sorority house, college senior Riley uncovers a cursed 1970s board game that summons demonic 'Dream Boys' feeding on her sisters' insecurities, forcing her to confront her own stalking trauma to break the cycle before she's claimed.
- When a vintage game promises ideal boyfriends but delivers horrors tied to an ancient demon, Riley must unravel the house's 50-year ritual of sacrifice, using her survivor's instincts to bind the entity that mirrors her real-life stalker.
- Trapped by snow and secrets, Riley discovers her house mom perpetuates a demonic pact via a hair-bound ritual; as her friends fall to seductive illusions, she must release the past victims to end the eternal hunger.
- A young woman haunted by a past stalker must survive a deadly supernatural game within a cursed sorority house, where her 'dream boys' are demonic entities seeking to consume her soul.
- When a terrifying occult board game resurfaces, four college students are trapped in a house where their deepest desires become monstrous nightmares, forcing them to confront the dark rituals that bind them.
- After a traumatic encounter with a stalker, a student finds herself targeted by a sinister supernatural game that preys on loneliness and desire, drawing her and her friends into a deadly battle for survival.
- In a house that feeds on secrets and trauma, a group of sorority sisters play a game that promises love but delivers destruction, forcing one resourceful survivor to unearth ancient rituals to break a cycle of terror.
- The past is never truly buried in a century-old sorority house, especially when a supernatural game resurrects the malevolent desires of its former inhabitants, turning 'dream boys' into instruments of terror and erasure.
- A college student, haunted by a past stalker, must confront the dark supernatural forces that have taken over her sorority house and threaten to consume her and her friends.
- When a group of college friends discover an ancient, cursed board game in their sorority house, they unwittingly unleash a demonic entity that seeks to claim them as its own.
- After a blizzard traps a group of sorority sisters inside their century-old house, they must uncover the dark secrets of the building's past and confront the supernatural forces that threaten to destroy them.
- A young woman, scarred by a traumatic stalking incident, must use her knowledge of the occult to save herself and her friends from the malevolent entity that has taken over their sorority house.
- In a race against time, a college student must confront her own personal demons and the dark forces that have taken over her sorority house, in order to save herself and her friends from a supernatural curse.
- A trauma survivor must battle a supernatural entity in a haunted sorority house when a seemingly innocent board game unleashes her deepest fears.
- When a released stalker's return coincides with a supernatural threat, a young woman must confront both her personal demons and literal ones in a deadly overnight siege.
- Four sorority sisters trapped in a blizzard play an occult board game that promises dream boyfriends but delivers personalized nightmares based on their deepest insecurities.
- A century-old demonic pact forces a house mother to sacrifice new generations of sorority girls every fifty years, until one survivor fights back using the entity's own rules.
- Psychological trauma and supernatural horror collide when a stalking victim discovers her real-world nightmare is connected to an ancient demonic entity haunting her sorority house.
Help & FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
After that, the high-level menu will offer insights into the story, themes, and characters.
The scene-by-scene analysis will demonstrate how each scene performs across various criteria, summarized in the column headings.
Click on any scene title to view the full analysis, including critiques and suggestions for improvement.
'Other Analyses' provides various insights into your writing and different perspectives, although it might not lead to significant rewrites of your script.
You can play it for free. If you have scripts analyzed, the AI might recommend exercises from SceneProv to help you improve your writing. Go to the craft tab to see what it recommended.
Let the AI take a turn when you're blocked or you want to riff on a scene. Each scene you create in SceneProv gets graded at the end.
- The email might have gone to your spam folder or is hidden in an email thread.
- The process might still be ongoing. Register/Login with the email you used during upload and look at the status. It sometimes takes as long as a couple hours. If it's been longer than that email us at [email protected]
Feature Request
Got an idea to improve our service? We'd love to hear it!
Scene by Scene Emotions
suspense Analysis
Executive Summary
Suspense is masterfully woven throughout the script, particularly in Scenes 1, 2, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 14, 15, 16, 18, 21, 25, 26, 27, and 30. The script expertly uses auditory cues (breathing, creaks, rings, screams), visual elements (shadows, flickering lights, distorted reflections, unsettling imagery), and pacing (slow builds followed by sudden shocks) to create a constant sense of dread and anticipation. The narrative strategically employs foreshadowing through symbols like the sigil and the Polaroids, and through character dialogue that hints at the house's dark history. This sustained suspense is crucial for driving the plot and immersing the audience in Riley's terrifying ordeal. However, the intensity can sometimes become overwhelming, and a few moments could benefit from brief respites to allow the audience to process the dread before plunging into further terror.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
fear Analysis
Executive Summary
Fear is the dominant emotion in this script, meticulously crafted through psychological torment, supernatural threats, and visceral horror. From Riley's initial terror in Scene 1 to the graphic disintegration of Brooke in Scene 16 and Lilly in Scene 22, the script consistently targets primal fears. The fear is evoked through invasive stalking, the violation of safe spaces, the exploitation of insecurities (feeling unseen), and the graphic, grotesque deaths. The script effectively utilizes jump scares, escalating supernatural phenomena, and the threat of inescapable doom to elicit visceral terror. A suggestion for improvement would be to occasionally lean more into the psychological fear that precedes the visual horror, allowing the audience's imagination to amplify the dread.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
joy Analysis
Executive Summary
Joy is used sparingly in the script, primarily serving as a stark contrast to the overwhelming horror. Scenes 3 and 5 depict Riley's innocent happiness before her date, highlighting the innocence that will be shattered. Scene 7 offers fleeting moments of camaraderie and laughter among the friends. The script effectively uses these brief instances of joy to underscore the tragedy and the loss that follows, making the horror more impactful by showing what has been lost. However, the scarcity of joy means that its presence can feel almost jarring, and the script could benefit from slightly more organic moments of genuine connection or relief between characters to enhance the emotional arc and make the ultimate loss more profound.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
sadness Analysis
Executive Summary
Sadness is a pervasive undercurrent throughout the script, primarily evoked by the characters' lost innocence, past traumas, and the tragic fates of many victims. The script skillfully uses melancholy to underscore the isolation and despair of Riley's situation, particularly her past experience with Ethan (Scene 2, Scene 32). The tragic fates of the 1975 girls (Scene 17, Scene 21) and the corrupted nature of friendships (Scene 24) evoke significant sadness. The ultimate defeat of the supernatural forces brings a sense of relief but also a somber reflection on the immense suffering endured. The script could perhaps explore the characters' grief more explicitly in the aftermath, rather than immediately jumping to the next threat.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
surprise Analysis
Executive Summary
Surprise is a key driver of audience engagement throughout the script, employed through unexpected plot twists, sudden reveals, and shocking visual phenomena. Key moments of surprise include Ethan's violent emergence in Scene 1, the sudden blackout and loss of service in Scene 9, Chelsea's horrifying disintegration in Scene 12, the impossible reappearance of the game box in Scene 15, and the graphic deaths of Brooke and Lilly. The script uses surprise effectively to jolt the audience and maintain a high level of tension and unpredictability. However, the sheer number of shocking events could lead to a desensitization, and some surprises might benefit from more subtle foreshadowing to feel earned rather than purely shocking.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
empathy Analysis
Executive Summary
Empathy is a cornerstone of the script's success, primarily evoked through Riley's terrifying ordeal and the audience's connection to her vulnerability and fight for survival. The script excels at making the audience feel for Riley's past trauma and her present terror, particularly in Scenes 1, 2, and 30. The empathetic connection is further deepened by the tragic fates of other characters like Lilly and Chelsea, whose suffering evokes pity and compassion. The script's strength lies in its ability to create relatable characters facing extraordinary circumstances, thus fostering a strong empathetic bond. To improve, the script could explore moments of vulnerability and shared humanity among the surviving characters (if any) or even hint at the fragmented humanity within some of the antagonists, thereby broadening the scope of empathy.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
sadness Analysis
Executive Summary
Sadness is a pervasive undercurrent throughout the script, primarily evoked by the characters' lost innocence, past traumas, and the tragic fates of many victims. The script skillfully uses melancholy to underscore the isolation and despair of Riley's situation, particularly her past experience with Ethan (Scene 2, Scene 32). The tragic fates of the 1975 girls (Scene 17, Scene 21) and the corrupted nature of friendships (Scene 24) evoke significant sadness. The ultimate defeat of the supernatural forces brings a sense of relief but also a somber reflection on the immense suffering endured. The script could perhaps explore the characters' grief more explicitly in the aftermath, rather than immediately jumping to the next threat.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
surprise Analysis
Executive Summary
Surprise is a key driver of audience engagement throughout the script, employed through unexpected plot twists, sudden reveals, and shocking visual phenomena. Key moments of surprise include Ethan's violent emergence in Scene 1, the sudden blackout and loss of service in Scene 9, Chelsea's horrifying disintegration in Scene 12, the impossible reappearance of the game box in Scene 15, and the graphic deaths of Brooke and Lilly. The script uses surprise effectively to jolt the audience and maintain a high level of tension and unpredictability. However, the sheer number of shocking events could lead to a desensitization, and some surprises might benefit from more subtle foreshadowing to feel earned rather than purely shocking.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
empathy Analysis
Executive Summary
Empathy is a cornerstone of the script's success, primarily evoked through Riley's terrifying ordeal and the audience's connection to her vulnerability and fight for survival. The script excels at making the audience feel for Riley's past trauma and her present terror, particularly in Scenes 1, 2, and 30. The empathetic connection is further deepened by the tragic fates of other characters like Lilly and Chelsea, whose suffering evokes pity and compassion. The script's strength lies in its ability to create relatable characters facing extraordinary circumstances, thus fostering a strong empathetic bond. To improve, the script could explore moments of vulnerability and shared humanity among the surviving characters (if any) or even hint at the fragmented humanity within some of the antagonists, thereby broadening the scope of empathy.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI