The Big Al
When a young man, Al Stratham, becomes entangled in a high-stakes criminal operation, he turns to a unique, dinosaur-inspired exo-suit to confront the dangerous gang and a powerful mafia figure, leading to a thrilling battle for redemption and justice.
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Unique Selling Point
The unique selling proposition of 'The Big Al' lies in its innovative fusion of crime drama with fantastical elements, particularly the character of Al who embodies both human vulnerability and dinosaur-like power. This duality not only sets it apart from typical crime narratives but also appeals to audiences seeking a fresh take on the hero's journey. The screenplay's exploration of themes such as loyalty, betrayal, and the quest for redemption resonates deeply, making it a compelling piece of storytelling.
AI Verdict & Suggestions
Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines’ ratings to compare.
Claude
Recommend
Recommend
GPT4
Recommend
Recommend
Story Facts
Genres: Thriller, Crime, Action, Drama, Sci-Fi, Adventure
Setting: Modern day, New York City, primarily in urban settings including a house, a nightclub, a museum, and docks.
Themes: Redemption, Justice, Family and Loyalty, Identity and Transformation, Power and Control, Morality and Ethics
Conflict & Stakes: Al's struggle for revenge against the Gregorios and his internal conflict regarding his past actions, with the safety of Katherine and his own identity at stake.
Mood: Tense and dramatic, with moments of introspection and urgency.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The protagonist transforms into a dinosaur-themed superhero, combining elements of fantasy with crime drama.
- Major Twist: Al's past as a criminal and his connection to the gang adds layers to his character and motivations.
- Distinctive Setting: The juxtaposition of urban crime with dinosaur-themed technology creates a visually striking and unique backdrop.
- Innovative Ideas: The use of advanced technology and exo-suits in a crime narrative adds a sci-fi element to the story.
Comparable Scripts: The Dark Knight, Catch Me If You Can, Breaking Bad, The Brothers Bloom, Ocean's Eleven, The Graduate, The Town, The Usual Suspects, The Amazing Spider-Man
Screenplay Video
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The Big Al Synopsis
Synopsis
In a bustling suburban neighborhood, a young boy named Al Stratham, frustrated by his brothers' teasing, dreams of a life beyond his mundane existence. Four years later, Al graduates high school, but instead of celebrating, he feels lost and decides to leave home, embarking on a journey that leads him into the criminal underworld. After a series of heists, Al finds himself betrayed by his crew during a robbery gone wrong, leading to a near-fatal encounter that forces him to adopt a new identity as 'Big Al,' a dinosaur-themed vigilante.
As Big Al, he uses advanced technology and a dinosaur-inspired exo-suit to fight against the very criminals he once called allies. His primary adversary, Packie, a ruthless gang leader, seeks revenge for Al's betrayal and the chaos that ensues from their heists. The tension escalates when Al saves a group of hostages during a robbery at a concert, gaining notoriety as a hero while simultaneously being hunted by the police and his former gang.
The story unfolds as Al navigates his dual identity, grappling with his past while trying to protect those he cares about, including Katherine, the daughter of the police chief, who becomes an unexpected ally. As the stakes rise, Al must confront Packie and the Gregorios, a powerful mafia family, leading to a climactic showdown at the docks where Al's past and present collide. In a final act of defiance, Al takes down Packie, reclaiming his life and proving that he can be more than just a criminal.
Ultimately, Al's journey is one of redemption, showcasing his transformation from a lost boy to a formidable hero, as he learns the true meaning of justice and sacrifice.
Script Level Analysis
This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.
Screenplay Insights
Story Critique
Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.
Characters
Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.
Emotional Analysis
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.
Logic & Inconsistencies
Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.
Scene Analysis
All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.
Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
The screenplay excels in pacing and narrative progression but needs improvement in character development and originality to maximize its potential.
Go to Scene Analysis
Analysis of the Scene Percentiles
Key Strengths
Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.
- High conflict level (79.73) indicates a strong ability to create tension and drama, which can engage audiences.
- Excellent pacing score (87.01) suggests that the screenplay maintains a compelling rhythm, keeping viewers interested.
- Strong story forward score (94.86) reflects a clear narrative progression, which is crucial for audience engagement.
- Character development is relatively low (44.93), suggesting a need for deeper exploration of characters' motivations and arcs.
- Dialogue rating (42.57) indicates that the dialogue may lack authenticity or impact, which could detract from character engagement.
- Originality score (42.13) suggests that the screenplay may benefit from more unique concepts or twists to stand out.
The writer appears to be more conceptual, with strengths in plot and structure but lower scores in character and dialogue development.
Balancing Elements- Enhancing character depth and dialogue could create a more emotionally resonant story, balancing the strong plot elements.
- Integrating more originality into the screenplay could elevate the overall impact and engagement, complementing the existing strengths.
Conceptual
Overall AssessmentThe screenplay shows strong potential with a compelling narrative structure and pacing, but it would benefit from deeper character development and more original elements to enhance its overall impact.
How this was done: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault
(such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other
produced scripts for each criteria.
How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library
|
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|
Percentile | Before | After |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Scene Story Forward | 8.8 | 96 | Ex-Machina: 8.7 | the dark knight rises: 8.8 |
| Scene Pacing | 8.62 | 90 | Back to the future: 8.61 | Baby Driver: 8.62 |
| Scene Conflict Level | 8.4 | 84 | Dune Part Two: 8.3 | Pawn sacrifice: 8.4 |
| Scene High Stakes | 8.5 | 83 | V for Vendetta: 8.4 | Casablanca: 8.5 |
| Scene External Goal | 7.62 | 83 | Gladiator: 7.61 | As good as it gets: 7.63 |
| Scene Unpredictability | 7.77 | 78 | Interstellar: 7.76 | scream : 7.77 |
| Script Structure | 8.24 | 73 | Narcos Pilot: 8.23 | Schindler's List: 8.24 |
| Scene Internal Goal | 8.12 | 72 | Breaking Bad: 8.11 | Memento: 8.12 |
| Scene Formatting | 8.24 | 65 | Narcos Pilot: 8.23 | The Sweet Hereafter: 8.24 |
| Scene Character Changes | 7.3 | 65 | A real pain : 7.2 | Casablanca: 7.3 |
| Scene Engagement | 8.98 | 61 | Parasite: 8.97 | Mr. Smith goes to Washington: 8.98 |
| Scene Concept | 8.2 | 56 | Coda: 8.1 | face/off: 8.2 |
| 1 | 50 | - | Get Out: 1 | |
| 1 | 50 | - | Get Out: 1 | |
| Scene Plot | 8.0 | 48 | Triangle of sadness: 7.9 | True Blood: 8.0 |
| Scene Originality | 8.67 | 44 | Terminator 2: 8.66 | Psycho: 8.67 |
| Scene Characters | 8.2 | 35 | September 5: 8.1 | face/off: 8.2 |
| Scene Emotional Impact | 7.6 | 34 | Silicon Valley: 7.5 | True Blood: 7.6 |
| Scene Dialogue | 7.6 | 33 | Coco: 7.5 | the boys (TV): 7.6 |
| Script Conflict | 7.20 | 28 | Mr Robot: 7.10 | There's something about Mary: 7.20 |
| Script Emotional Impact | 7.50 | 27 | Sherlock Holmes: 7.40 | the pursuit of happyness: 7.50 |
| Script Structure | 7.40 | 17 | Silicon Valley: 7.30 | The apartment: 7.40 |
| Script Originality | 7.30 | 15 | A real pain : 7.20 | scream : 7.30 |
| Scene Overall | 8.1 | 14 | Swingers: 8.0 | Erin Brokovich: 8.1 |
| Script Premise | 7.30 | 10 | Shaun of the Dead: 7.20 | Le souvenir des belles choses: 7.30 |
| Script Visual Impact | 7.00 | 9 | Back to the future: 6.90 | Midnight cowboy: 7.00 |
| Script Characters | 7.30 | 6 | September 5: 7.10 | Pawn sacrifice: 7.30 |
| Script Theme | 7.40 | 4 | Ted: 7.20 | the pursuit of happyness: 7.40 |
| Overall Script | 7.30 | 3 | The good place draft: 7.25 | Silicon Valley: 7.31 |
Other Analyses
This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.
Unique Voice
Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.
Writer's Craft
Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
World Building
Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.
Unique Voice
Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.
Writer's Craft
Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
World Building
Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.
Engine: Claude
Screenplay Rating:
Recommend
Executive Summary
The screenplay for 'The Big Al' is a well-crafted action-driven narrative that blends elements of drama, thriller, and science fiction. It follows the journey of Al Stratham, a complex protagonist who becomes embroiled in a high-stakes conflict with a criminal gang and a powerful mafia figure. The story is elevated by the introduction of the 'Big Al' – a unique, dinosaur-inspired exo-suit that Al utilizes to confront his adversaries. The screenplay showcases strong character development, engaging action sequences, and a compelling thematic exploration of justice, survival, and personal redemption. Overall, it presents a compelling and entertaining narrative that would be of interest to a wide audience.
Strengths
- The introduction of the 'Big Al' exo-suit and its unique capabilities, as well as the collaboration between Al, Nikko, and George, create a strong sense of technological innovation and world-building that elevates the narrative. high ( Scene 13 Scene 14 )
- The character development of Al Stratham, exploring his past, motivations, and inner conflicts, is well-handled, making him a complex and compelling protagonist. high ( Scene 5 Scene 9 )
- The action sequences, particularly the confrontations between the Big Al and the criminal gang, are well-choreographed and deliver a thrilling cinematic experience. high ( Scene 18 Scene 19 )
- The introduction of Katherine and her relationship with Al adds emotional depth and a sense of moral conflict to the narrative. medium ( Scene 16 Scene 17 )
- The exploration of the Gregorio crime organization and their intricate web of connections adds complexity and a sense of broader societal implications to the story. medium ( Scene 31 Scene 32 )
Areas of Improvement
- The opening sequences could be tightened and streamlined to establish the protagonist's backstory and motivations more efficiently, without losing momentum. medium ( Scene 1 Scene 2 )
- The pacing in certain sections, particularly the transition between the Big Al's confrontation with the criminal gang and the aftermath, could be improved to maintain a stronger narrative drive. medium ( Scene 24 Scene 25 )
- The relationship between Al and Katherine could be further developed, exploring their emotional connection and the impact it has on their respective journeys. medium ( Scene 16 Scene 17 )
- The Gregorio crime organization and their connections could be further explored, providing a more comprehensive understanding of the broader criminal landscape and its implications. medium ( Scene 31 Scene 32 )
- The ending, while satisfying, could potentially be strengthened by delving deeper into the emotional and thematic resolution for the protagonist, as well as the long-term implications of his actions. medium ( Scene )
MissingElements
- Additional context or background information about the protagonist's relationship with his brothers and the significance of the Allosaurus film could be provided to further enhance the audience's understanding of his motivations and character arc. low ( Scene 1 Scene 2 )
- More exploration of Katherine's own aspirations, dreams, and character arc could add depth to her role in the narrative and her relationship with Al. medium ( Scene 16 Scene 17 )
- The specific nature of the Gregorio crime organization's operations, their reach, and the implications of their downfall could be further developed to provide a more comprehensive understanding of the broader societal impact. medium ( Scene 31 Scene 32 )
- Exploring the long-term consequences and repercussions of Al's actions, both for himself and the larger criminal network, could add depth and nuance to the story's resolution. medium ( Scene )
- Providing more insight into the development and technical specifications of the Big Al exo-suit, as well as its broader implications for the world of the story, could enhance the audience's understanding and appreciation of this unique element. medium ( Scene )
NotablePoints
- The exploration of Al Stratham's backstory, including the loss of his parents and his troubled relationship with his brothers, adds compelling emotional depth to the character and his motivations. high ( Scene 5 Scene 9 )
- The collaboration between Al, Nikko, and George in the development of the Big Al exo-suit, as well as the technological prowess and ingenuity showcased, is a notable element that elevates the story. high ( Scene 13 Scene 14 )
- The exploration of the Gregorio crime organization and its far-reaching connections, as well as the power dynamics and complexities within the criminal underworld, add a sense of depth and realism to the narrative. medium ( Scene 31 Scene 32 )
- The climactic confrontation between the Big Al and Packie, as well as the emotional weight and thematic implications of their final showdown, is a notable and impactful sequence. high ( Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 )
- The resolution, with Al's final confrontation with James Gregorio and his departure from the city, provides a sense of closure and closure to the protagonist's journey, while leaving room for potential future developments. medium ( Scene 41 Scene 42 )
Blind Spots
- Lack of Subtlety In some instances, the screenplay could benefit from more nuanced and subtle storytelling, particularly in the exploration of character motivations and the broader societal implications of the narrative. For example, the relationship between Al and his brothers, as well as the specific nature of the Gregorio crime organization's operations, could be developed with more depth and complexity. medium
- Uneven Pacing While the overall pacing of the screenplay is strong, there are moments where the transition between scenes or the flow of the narrative could be tightened or refined. This is particularly evident in the transition between the Big Al's confrontation with the criminal gang and the aftermath, as well as the development of the relationship between Al and Katherine. medium
Amateur Giveaways
- Clichéd Dialogue Occasionally, the dialogue falls into familiar, clichéd patterns, particularly in the more confrontational scenes between the characters. While the overall dialogue is strong, there are opportunities to further refine and differentiate the characters' voices to avoid relying on overly familiar tropes. low
- Underdeveloped Subplots Some of the secondary storylines and subplots, such as the exploration of Katherine's aspirations and the long-term implications of Al's actions, could be further developed to add depth and complexity to the narrative. While these elements are present, they could be given more attention to fully realize their potential. medium
Engine: GPT4
Screenplay Rating:
Recommend
Executive Summary
The screenplay of 'The Big Al' presents a compelling narrative that intertwines themes of family, betrayal, and redemption within a unique blend of crime and fantasy. The character arcs are well-developed, particularly Al's transformation from a troubled youth to a formidable figure seeking justice. The pacing is generally effective, though some scenes could benefit from tightening. The dialogue is engaging, and the action sequences are vividly described, enhancing the overall cinematic experience.
Strengths
- The character development of Al is a significant strength, showcasing his evolution from a frustrated youth to a powerful figure seeking justice. high ( Scene Sequence number 1 (INT. SHED - DAY) Scene Sequence number 41 (INT. CITY - CENTRAL PARK - INSIDE) )
- The action sequences are well-crafted and visually engaging, providing a thrilling experience for the audience. high ( Scene Sequence number 5 (INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT) )
- The dialogue is sharp and engaging, effectively conveying character motivations and enhancing the narrative. medium ( Scene Sequence number 10 (INT. NIGHT CLUB - MANAGER'S OFFICE - INSIDE) )
- The integration of educational elements about dinosaurs adds depth to the story and enriches the character of Al. medium ( Scene Sequence number 22 (INT. AMERICAN MUSEUM - DAY) )
- The emotional stakes are high, particularly in scenes involving Al's relationships and the consequences of his actions. high ( Scene Sequence number 39 (INT. DOCK'S WAREHOUSE - DAY) )
Areas of Improvement
- Some scenes feel rushed, particularly during the heist sequences, which could benefit from more tension-building. medium ( Scene Sequence number 3 (INT. BLOCK - VAULT - DAY) )
- The subplot involving the police could be more fleshed out to create a stronger connection between Al and the law enforcement characters. medium ( Scene Sequence number 12 (INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - OFFICE - INSIDE) )
- Some character motivations, particularly for the antagonists, could be clearer to enhance the conflict. medium ( Scene Sequence number 18 (INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT) )
- The pacing in the latter half of the screenplay could be improved to maintain engagement and build suspense. medium ( Scene Sequence number 28 (INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - OFFICE - INSIDE) )
- The resolution feels somewhat abrupt; a more gradual build-up to the climax would enhance the overall impact. medium ( Scene Sequence number 34 (INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY) )
MissingElements
- A deeper exploration of Al's backstory and his relationships with his brothers could add emotional weight to his character. high ( Scene Sequence number 4 (INT. CONCERT - DAY) )
- The motivations of the supporting characters, particularly the antagonists, could be more developed to create a richer narrative. medium ( Scene Sequence number 41 (INT. CITY - CENTRAL PARK - INSIDE) )
- The consequences of Al's actions on the broader community could be addressed to enhance the stakes. medium ( Scene Sequence number 10 (INT. NIGHT CLUB - MANAGER'S OFFICE - INSIDE) )
- More scenes depicting the aftermath of the heists could provide a clearer picture of the impact of crime on the community. medium ( Scene Sequence number 22 (INT. AMERICAN MUSEUM - DAY) )
- A clearer resolution for Al's character arc would strengthen the narrative closure. high ( Scene Sequence number 39 (INT. DOCK'S WAREHOUSE - DAY) )
NotablePoints
- The use of a dinosaur-themed character in a crime narrative is a unique twist that sets the screenplay apart. high ( Scene Sequence number 5 (INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT) )
- The educational elements about dinosaurs serve to enrich the narrative and provide depth to Al's character. medium ( Scene Sequence number 22 (INT. AMERICAN MUSEUM - DAY) )
- The emotional connection between Al and Katherine adds a layer of complexity to the story. high ( Scene Sequence number 41 (INT. CITY - CENTRAL PARK - INSIDE) )
- The tension and stakes are effectively raised during the climax, creating a gripping narrative moment. high ( Scene Sequence number 34 (INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY) )
- The final confrontation between Al and Packie is intense and well-executed, providing a satisfying climax. high ( Scene Sequence number 39 (INT. DOCK'S WAREHOUSE - DAY) )
Blind Spots
- Character Motivation The motivations of some supporting characters, particularly the antagonists, are not fully fleshed out, leading to moments where their actions feel less justified. For example, Packie's motivations for betrayal could be more clearly defined to enhance the conflict. high
Amateur Giveaways
- Pacing Issues Certain scenes feel rushed, particularly during action sequences, which can detract from the tension. For instance, the heist scenes could benefit from more build-up to enhance suspense. medium
Screenplay Insights:
Overall Grade: 7.30
Characters: 7.3, The screenplay demonstrates a strong foundation in character development, particularly with Al, whose journey from frustration to empowerment is compelling. However, some supporting characters, like Derek and Michael, could benefit from deeper arcs to enhance their relatability and complexity. Overall, the character dynamics effectively drive the narrative, but refining certain arcs could elevate emotional engagement. See More
Premise: 7.3, The screenplay establishes a compelling premise that intertwines themes of justice, revenge, and personal growth through the character of Al. However, there are areas for enhancement, particularly in clarifying character motivations and refining the narrative structure to maintain audience engagement throughout. See More
Structure: 7.4, The screenplay 'The Big Al' demonstrates a compelling narrative structure with a strong character arc for Al, effectively blending themes of justice, revenge, and personal growth. However, the pacing occasionally falters, particularly in the transition between scenes, which can disrupt the narrative flow. Enhancing the clarity of certain plot points and refining character motivations will strengthen the overall impact. See More
Theme: 7.4, The screenplay 'The Big Al' effectively conveys themes of justice, revenge, and personal growth through its complex characters and engaging narrative. The exploration of Al's transformation from a conflicted individual to a principled leader is particularly compelling. However, there are areas where the thematic depth could be enhanced, particularly in clarifying the moral implications of the characters' actions and the consequences of their choices. See More
Visual Impact: 7.0, The screenplay 'The Big Al' showcases a compelling blend of visual imagery that effectively captures the emotional depth and character arcs throughout the narrative. The use of contrasting settings, from the vibrant atmosphere of the nightclub to the tense environments of heists, enhances the storytelling. However, there are opportunities to further enrich the visual storytelling by incorporating more vivid descriptions and symbolic elements that resonate with the characters' journeys. See More
Emotional Impact: 7.5, The screenplay 'The Big Al' effectively elicits emotional responses through its complex characters and their evolving arcs, particularly Al's journey from frustration to empowerment. However, there are opportunities to enhance emotional depth by further exploring character vulnerabilities and the consequences of their actions. See More
Conflict: 7.2, The screenplay effectively presents conflict and stakes through Al's journey from frustration to a quest for justice, but there are opportunities to enhance tension and audience engagement by deepening character motivations and escalating stakes throughout the narrative. See More
Originality: 7.3, The screenplay 'The Big Al' showcases a unique blend of adventure, crime, and personal growth, with a compelling protagonist whose journey from frustration to empowerment is both engaging and relatable. The incorporation of dinosaur-themed elements and advanced technology adds a creative twist, while the interplay between characters highlights complex relationships and moral dilemmas. See More
Characters: 7.3, The screenplay demonstrates a strong foundation in character development, particularly with Al, whose journey from frustration to empowerment is compelling. However, some supporting characters, like Derek and Michael, could benefit from deeper arcs to enhance their relatability and complexity. Overall, the character dynamics effectively drive the narrative, but refining certain arcs could elevate emotional engagement. See More
Premise: 7.3, The screenplay establishes a compelling premise that intertwines themes of justice, revenge, and personal growth through the character of Al. However, there are areas for enhancement, particularly in clarifying character motivations and refining the narrative structure to maintain audience engagement throughout. See More
Structure: 7.4, The screenplay 'The Big Al' demonstrates a compelling narrative structure with a strong character arc for Al, effectively blending themes of justice, revenge, and personal growth. However, the pacing occasionally falters, particularly in the transition between scenes, which can disrupt the narrative flow. Enhancing the clarity of certain plot points and refining character motivations will strengthen the overall impact. See More
Theme: 7.4, The screenplay 'The Big Al' effectively conveys themes of justice, revenge, and personal growth through its complex characters and engaging narrative. The exploration of Al's transformation from a conflicted individual to a principled leader is particularly compelling. However, there are areas where the thematic depth could be enhanced, particularly in clarifying the moral implications of the characters' actions and the consequences of their choices. See More
Visual Impact: 7.0, The screenplay 'The Big Al' showcases a compelling blend of visual imagery that effectively captures the emotional depth and character arcs throughout the narrative. The use of contrasting settings, from the vibrant atmosphere of the nightclub to the tense environments of heists, enhances the storytelling. However, there are opportunities to further enrich the visual storytelling by incorporating more vivid descriptions and symbolic elements that resonate with the characters' journeys. See More
Emotional Impact: 7.5, The screenplay 'The Big Al' effectively elicits emotional responses through its complex characters and their evolving arcs, particularly Al's journey from frustration to empowerment. However, there are opportunities to enhance emotional depth by further exploring character vulnerabilities and the consequences of their actions. See More
Conflict: 7.2, The screenplay effectively presents conflict and stakes through Al's journey from frustration to a quest for justice, but there are opportunities to enhance tension and audience engagement by deepening character motivations and escalating stakes throughout the narrative. See More
Originality: 7.3, The screenplay 'The Big Al' showcases a unique blend of adventure, crime, and personal growth, with a compelling protagonist whose journey from frustration to empowerment is both engaging and relatable. The incorporation of dinosaur-themed elements and advanced technology adds a creative twist, while the interplay between characters highlights complex relationships and moral dilemmas. See More
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Summaries
- In a light-hearted setting filled with laughter, youngest brother Al feels frustrated by his siblings' teasing as they watch a BBC show. Seeking solace in a shed, he expresses a whimsical desire to resurrect a dinosaur, revealing his longing for adventure. Four years later, after graduating high school, Al returns home to more playful jabs from his brothers. Contemplating his future, he ultimately decides to leave his familiar surroundings at night, arriving at a deserted railway station. As a freight train approaches, Al makes a bold leap onto an open carriage, disappearing into the night, symbolizing his quest for identity and adventure.
- The scene shifts from a dark freight train carriage to a vibrant music festival four years later, where Al, now 22, arrives in a business suit with a briefcase. Meanwhile, Derek and Michael, both 23, approach a block of cabins disguised as businessmen, discussing their covert mission to confirm the existence of a secure vault. As they cut the telephone wire and prepare to move into the shadows, the tension builds, highlighting the contrast between the lively concert atmosphere and their secretive actions.
- In a bustling vault, Al pretends to conduct a routine check but is actually orchestrating a heist. He is joined by Derek and Michael, who emerge from a hidden hatch with rifles, quickly taking control. Al disarms a security officer and seals the door, while Derek methodically cracks safes and Michael grows impatient. Tension escalates as they gather cash, and Al briefly shows vulnerability when interacting with a frightened cashier before they prepare to escape.
- Packie, a ruthless gang leader, creates chaos at a concert by igniting flares, causing panic among the crowd. Meanwhile, in a nearby vault, Al, Derek, and Michael prepare to rob safes, with Derek insisting on using explosives despite Al's concerns. After a tense moment, the explosives detonate, successfully opening the safes but heightening the urgency as chaos outside escalates. Al urges the group to quickly bag the cash and escape, emphasizing the looming danger.
- During a chaotic concert, a stage fire ignites panic, leading Al, Derek, and Michael to escape with stolen money. In a warehouse, Al confronts Packie about the risks of their actions, while tensions rise over how to split the loot. Al insists on sticking to their original deal, but Derek and Michael push for a larger share, escalating into a struggle for a shotgun that accidentally injures Kane. The scene captures the high stakes and emotional turmoil of their criminal endeavors.
- In a tense and chaotic scene, Kane and Packie struggle to control their jeep after swerving off the road, while Michael and Derek deal with injuries. A violent confrontation ensues between Michael and Al over a shotgun, resulting in Al escaping but getting injured. Urged by Packie, Derek exits the jeep and shoots Al, sending him tumbling down a slope into a river. As they drive away, Packie receives a call from James Gregorio, who expresses concern about Al's betrayal and the team's injuries.
- On a highway, a truck driver and passenger find an injured man named Al and take him to the hospital. Upon waking, Al learns of a tragic concert accident, prompting him to escape by knocking out a male nurse and stealing his uniform. Disguised, he hot-wires an ambulance and flees. Meanwhile, a group arrives at Gregorio's house with bags of money, discussing their encounter with Al and their future plans, highlighting the tension and risks involved.
- In a tense nighttime scene, Al stealthily descends from an air vent in a dimly lit store, changes into stolen clothes, and robs the cash register before escaping in an abandoned car. As he drives towards the highway, he hesitates before making a phone call to his mentor, Nikko, who is watching TV in his cozy living room. This juxtaposition highlights Al's desperation and the looming uncertainty of his next move.
- Al urgently contacts Nikko from his car, revealing that a job has gone wrong and the gang plans to betray them. Concerned for Al's safety, Nikko provides a lead on the gang's whereabouts. Al acknowledges the information and prepares to investigate further, ending the call and driving towards a nightclub, setting the stage for a tense confrontation.
- In a vibrant nightclub, Al confronts the bouncer to access the manager's office, incapacitating him with a fire extinguisher. Inside, he interrogates Gerald about his brother Packie's whereabouts, learning that Packie is involved with the Gregorios in Manhattan. Despite Gerald's resistance, Al's violent methods lead to Gerald's death, ensuring no witnesses remain. The scene is marked by a tense atmosphere, culminating in Al's chilling remark, 'Wait for your brother up the clouds then.'
- The scene opens with a bouncer discovering a colleague incapacitated, leading to Al's escape from a nightclub after committing murder. He contacts Nikko to update him on their Manhattan location. The focus then shifts to a high school graduation ceremony where Katherine and her father Fred celebrate her achievement while discussing her future and his ongoing police investigation. The tone transitions from tense and urgent to celebratory yet contemplative as Katherine prepares to reunite with her friends.
- In this tense scene, Katherine reflects on her future in her bedroom, while Fred, a dedicated police chief, investigates a murder report concerning Gerald, the owner of a nightclub. The focus shifts to Gregorio's house, where James and his crew discuss their upcoming heist at Webster Hall. The mood darkens when they learn about Packie's brother, Gerald's murder, igniting Packie's grief and anger, which creates conflict within the group. As tensions rise, Packie storms out to process his emotions, leaving the crew to grapple with the implications of the tragedy on their plans.
- Nikko introduces Al to George in an abandoned warehouse filled with advanced weaponry. Al is initially skeptical about George's mind-controlled endo-skeleton resembling an Allosaurus, but as George explains its features, Al's intrigue grows. The scene captures the tension between skepticism and curiosity, culminating in Al's decision to explore the potential of the technology further.
- Al and Nikko confront each other outside a warehouse over Al's reckless decision to kill Packie's brother. Despite Nikko's urgent warnings about the dangers of Al's actions, Al remains defiant, determined to reclaim what he believes is his. The scene shifts inside the warehouse where Al undergoes a painful connection process for a high-tech exo-suit, showcasing his resolve. Ultimately, Nikko, though concerned for Al's safety, agrees to assist him as the tension escalates.
- As Katherine prepares for the night with calm determination, James receives a significant phone call that brings a grim smile to his face. Packie and his friends are on their way to Webster Hall, keeping James updated. In a tense warehouse, Al and George monitor surveillance feeds and respond to James's request for support, with Al leaving the room with a dark smile, setting the stage for impending action.
- Katherine and her friends arrive at a bustling nightclub, where the vibrant atmosphere is filled with music, dancing, and youthful energy. As they navigate the lively scene, their individual struggles and aspirations subtly emerge, hinting at deeper insecurities beneath the excitement. The scene captures the essence of nightlife while setting the stage for the characters' journey as they prepare to immerse themselves in the evening's festivities.
- In a vibrant nightclub lounge, Katherine and her friends discuss their future aspirations, with Katherine expressing her passion for paleontology. The atmosphere is light-hearted as they share their career plans, but tension escalates outside when a group of criminals confronts the bouncer, revealing concealed rifles. The scene shifts back to the girls, who are abruptly interrupted by distant gunshots, marking a stark contrast between their hopeful dreams and the looming danger.
- In a chaotic nightclub scene, Kane and his crew confront the club's manager for money, leading to his shocking execution. Amidst the panic, party-goer Katherine attempts to call the police but is threatened by a punk. The situation escalates until Big Al intervenes, creating a distraction by fighting off the criminals, as the club-goers scramble for safety.
- In a tense nightclub scene, Packie and his crew gather stolen money while Big Al confronts and defeats punks, reassuring frightened patrons and introducing himself to Katherine. As police arrive to investigate the aftermath, Fred expresses concern for his daughter and learns about Big Al's heroics. The scene captures the chaotic environment, shifting from violence to a mix of relief and concern as Fred ensures Katherine's safety before re-entering the nightclub.
- On a rooftop overlooking New York City, Big Al expresses frustration about being monitored by Nikko, who confronts him about a failed hostage situation. Al reveals his determination to gather intelligence on James, while the scene shifts to Gregorio's house, where James and his crew grapple with the fallout from their botched operation. Frustration mounts as James reprimands Packie for reckless decisions, and they strategize their next heist at the docks, highlighting the high stakes involved. The scene ends with a sense of urgency as James prepares his crew for the upcoming challenge.
- Katherine, at home, expresses her desire to visit the American Museum of Natural History despite recent dangers, while Fred, her police partner, struggles with concern for her safety. Meanwhile, in a warehouse, Al, Nikko, and George discuss the Gregorios' criminal plans, including a potential heist at the museum. They receive an urgent transmission from James Gregorio requesting support, prompting Al to devise a plan to investigate further. The scene highlights the conflict between Katherine's need for independence and Fred's protective instincts, set against the backdrop of looming criminal activity.
- Katherine arrives at the American Museum but struggles to pay for her admission. Al, noticing her difficulty, pays for both their tickets. Grateful, Katherine engages in a friendly conversation with Al about dinosaurs as they explore the exhibits together, with Al sharing his extensive knowledge. The scene is light-hearted and filled with curiosity, culminating in Al offering to show Katherine more about dinosaurs.
- In the American Museum's dinosaur exhibit, six criminals prepare for a heist while Al and Katherine engage in a deep conversation about the brutal realities of survival as exemplified by dinosaurs. Al's extensive knowledge and somber reflections reveal his internal struggles, contrasting with Katherine's attempts to lighten the mood. The tension builds as the impending chaos outside looms over their introspective dialogue, culminating in Al walking away into the shadows, leaving Katherine to ponder the weight of their discussion.
- In a tense scene at the American Museum, a criminal gang led by Packie executes a heist, shooting a staff member and cutting surveillance wires. While Packie directs the gang to prioritize valuable items over cash in the vault, chaos erupts as gunshots force museum guests to the ground. Al and Katherine's conversation is abruptly interrupted by the violence, leading Al to discreetly text for backup amidst the turmoil.
- In a tense scene at the American Museum, Packie and his gang discover a large diamond in a vault, while outside, armed criminals hold a crowd hostage, including Al and Katherine. Al bravely confronts the criminals, leading to a standoff until the police, led by Chief Fred, arrive to apprehend them. The scene concludes with a heartfelt reunion between Fred and Katherine, and gratitude expressed towards Al for his heroism.
- In a tense yet collaborative atmosphere inside a bustling weapons warehouse, Al meets with George to discuss a plan to expose the culprits behind a recent hostage incident at a museum. They strategize on sending footage to the NYPD while ensuring Al maintains his cover. George provides Al with a disc containing the critical footage and discusses the logistics of Al's disguise and equipment for his upcoming mission against the Gregorios. The scene concludes with George assuring Al that his suit will be ready soon, setting the stage for Al's next steps.
- Al arrives at the police department to deliver evidence to Katherine's father, Fred. Katherine takes the evidence inside while Al heads to a warehouse to check on his costume's progress with George. They discuss the costume's design and the files Al delivered. The scene is casual and cooperative, ending with Al admiring the impressive costume.
- In a tense police department office, Fred reviews security footage of a museum heist, uncovering crucial connections between the criminals involved and his past. He hears recorded transmissions from James Gregorio, who calls for support during the robbery, and learns that Al Stratham, a man who once saved his daughter, is linked to the crime and has escaped from a hospital. As Fred pieces together the evidence, he becomes increasingly concerned about Stratham's involvement, determined to track him down.
- In a tense warehouse, Al and his team finalize an exo-suit just as James calls for backup at the docks. Meanwhile, Packie negotiates a trade with Craig, but tensions rise when a dinosaur roar signals danger. Al bursts onto the scene in the exo-suit, igniting chaos as he confronts the criminals, leading to their panicked retreat while he collects the stolen items amidst the flames of a burning meth lab.
- An assassin infiltrates the police department rooftop at night to steal footage but is thwarted by Al, who uses an Allosaurus skull to incapacitate him and retrieve a stolen diamond. As police discover the unconscious assassin, Al transforms into Big Al and flies away. The next morning, news reports link James Gregorio to the chaos, leading to frustration among him and his associates over the mysterious dinosaur figure disrupting their plans. The scene ends with Gregorio realizing they must find a way to counter this new threat.
- In a tense scene set in a backyard shed and transitioning to Gregorio's living room, John reveals that the museum's security system has been hacked by George and his team. This revelation sparks a strategic discussion among James, Kane, Packie, Derek, and Michael about the implications of the hack and the need to silence both George and Big Al. James takes charge, formulating a plan to use decoys to distract Big Al while they prepare to act against the threats. The scene concludes with James texting his team to set the plan in motion.
- Katherine watches the morning news at home while her husband Fred, the chief of police, expresses concern about a man named Allan Smith. Meanwhile, Al, also known as Big Al, prepares for action in a hideout and intervenes in a police chase, capturing criminals after a dramatic confrontation. The scene shifts to a warehouse where Packie and his gang execute workers, including George, as they plot their next move against Big Al. The tension escalates when Big Al rescues Katherine and takes her to his lair, where she confronts him about his true identity.
- In a hidden sanctuary, Al reveals his true identity as Al Stratham to Katherine, sharing his troubled past involving a failed heist and the threats from his former teammates and the Gregorios crime family. He expresses his motivations for revenge and justice, explaining his plan to frame the Gregorios while gaining Katherine's trust. The scene ends with an urgent call from his mentor, Nikko, prompting Al to leave with Katherine following closely behind.
- Nikko anxiously awaits Al and Katherine outside a warehouse, where they discover a horrific scene of violence and death. Inside, they find George, a survivor who reveals that Packie and his crew have killed everyone and taken all the weapons. As George succumbs to his injuries, he urges them to stop Packie before it's too late. Al, filled with determination, vows to confront Packie, setting the stage for a tense conflict ahead.
- Al, Nikko, and Katherine exit a warehouse, discussing Al's vengeful intentions against Packie and the Gregorios. Despite Nikko's warnings about the dangers of revenge, Al remains resolute. Their conversation is abruptly interrupted when Packie and his crew ambush them, leading to Nikko's murder, witnessed by Al. In the aftermath, Al and Katherine reflect on their troubled pasts, but their moment of connection is shattered when Packie captures Katherine, leaving Al powerless and filled with despair.
- In a tense scene set in a city alleyway and a hideout, Packie directs his crew to execute Big Al while keeping Katherine captive. As Al fights against his captors, he manages to kill Michael and Derek, seizing a gun and a wrist computer. Discovering Packie's plans to execute him and take Katherine hostage, Al's determination to escape intensifies, setting the stage for a fierce conflict between him and Packie.
- Packie and Kane arrive at the docks with Katherine, who is held captive in a warehouse filled with stolen weapons. Packie takes charge of the operation but shows concern for Katherine's safety, while Kane expresses frustration over the lack of updates regarding the chaotic situation outside involving Big Al. As the police mobilize in response to Big Al's appearance, the tension escalates, leaving the fate of Katherine and the criminal operation uncertain.
- At the docks, tension escalates as the Big Al arrives, prompting a chaotic confrontation between the Allosaurus and criminals led by Packie and Kane. Inside the warehouse, Packie prepares for battle while Katherine is held captive. The Big Al charges in, rescuing Katherine and engaging in a fierce fight against the criminals. As police sirens signal their approach, the scene culminates in a dramatic showdown, highlighting the Big Al's role as a protector.
- After a fierce battle, Katherine reunites with her concerned father, Fred, at the docks and informs him that Big Al is still inside the warehouse. Fred quickly orders his officers to secure the area. Inside, Packie confronts Big Al while donning a high-tech armored suit, leading to a tense exchange about power and control. Their ideological clash escalates into a brutal melee, culminating in a fiery explosion as they break through the ceiling.
- In a dramatic aerial battle, Packie and Big Al clash above the city, breaking through a warehouse roof and exchanging fierce blows on a rooftop. Despite Packie's resilience, he ultimately succumbs to Big Al's cold determination, receiving a fatal shot to the forehead at the Empire State Building. The scene culminates in Packie's tragic fall, leaving Big Al standing ominously at the rooftop's edge.
- In Central Park, Katherine and Al share a heartfelt conversation about his departure and his troubled past. Al expresses his desire to improve himself while Katherine hopes for a future reunion. The scene shifts as Al makes a threatening phone call to James Gregorio, revealing his plans for revenge against him for betrayal. The emotional tone fluctuates between nostalgia and tension, culminating in a foreboding atmosphere as Al hangs up, leaving Gregorio in shock.
- In a dramatic confrontation, Al detonates a bomb that obliterates James' house, symbolizing the end of their conflict. After a brief farewell phone call, Al discards the detonator and takes flight with his rocket heels, leaving the destruction behind as he soars through the city, embracing a new beginning.
CharacterInconsistencies
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Character Al Stratham/Big Al
Description Al's character shifts from a quiet, introspective boy to a ruthless criminal mastermind without sufficient development. His motivations for violence seem inconsistent with his earlier portrayal as a sensitive character who wished to resurrect dinosaurs.
( Scene 1 (INT. SHED - DAY) Scene 41 (INT. CITY - HIDEOUT - INSIDE) ) -
Character Packie
Description Packie's transition from a comedic, light-hearted character to a cold-blooded criminal lacks depth. His motivations for violence and betrayal are not clearly established, making his actions feel forced.
( Scene 5 (INT. CONCERT - DAY) Scene 40 (INT. DOCKS - DAY) )
StoryInconsistencies
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Description The story lacks a clear explanation of how Al's character evolves from a high school student to a criminal mastermind. The timeline and character development are rushed, leading to confusion about his motivations.
( Scene 3 (INT. BLOCK - VAULT - DAY) Scene 39 (INT. DOCK'S WAREHOUSE - DAY) ) -
Description The transition from the museum heist to the docks feels abrupt and lacks a coherent connection. The motivations for the heist and the subsequent actions of the characters are not clearly linked.
( Scene 22 (INT. AMERICAN MUSEUM - DAY) Scene 37 (INT. DOCK'S WAREHOUSE - DAY) )
PlotHoles
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Description The plot fails to explain how Al manages to evade capture after the concert incident and then re-emerges as Big Al without any clear transition or explanation of his resources and planning.
( Scene 5 (INT. CONCERT - DAY) Scene 40 (INT. DOCKS - DAY) ) -
Description James Gregorio's ability to remain untouchable despite the chaos surrounding him is not adequately justified. The narrative suggests he has significant power, yet he is easily threatened by Al's actions.
( Scene 31 (INT. GREGORIO'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - INSIDE) Scene 42 (EXT. HOUSE - DAY) )
DialogueAuthenticity
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Description Some dialogue, particularly from the criminals, feels overly cliché and lacks authenticity. Their banter often comes off as forced and does not reflect the high-stakes situation they are in.
( Scene 10 (INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT) Scene 18 (INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT) ) -
Description Katherine's dialogue about wanting to invite Al to prom feels out of place given the context of their dangerous lives. It undermines the gravity of their situation.
( Scene 41 (INT. CITY - CENTRAL PARK - INSIDE) )
Redundancies
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Element Character motivations
( Scene 1 (INT. SHED - DAY) Scene 41 (INT. CITY - HIDEOUT - INSIDE) )
Suggestion Streamline Al's motivations throughout the script to avoid repetitive explanations of his past and desires. Focus on key moments that define his character arc. -
Element Explanations of dinosaur knowledge
( Scene 10 (INT. NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT) Scene 22 (INT. AMERICAN MUSEUM - DINOSAUR EXP. - INSIDE) )
Suggestion Condense the repeated explanations of dinosaur facts to maintain pacing and avoid redundancy. Focus on key interactions that drive the plot forward.
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
| Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
|---|---|---|---|
| Al |
|
While Al's character arc is compelling, it may benefit from deeper exploration of his internal struggles and motivations. The transition from a conflicted individual to a principled leader could be more gradual, allowing the audience to witness the nuances of his transformation. Additionally, the screenplay could delve further into his relationships with other characters, particularly how they influence his decisions and growth. | To improve Al's character arc, consider incorporating more flashbacks or moments of reflection that reveal his past and the events that shaped him. This could enhance the audience's understanding of his motivations and internal conflicts. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a foil character could provide contrasting perspectives that challenge Al's beliefs and facilitate his growth. Finally, ensure that key moments of decision-making are emotionally charged, allowing the audience to connect with Al's journey on a deeper level. |
| Derek | Derek begins as a tough and ruthless criminal, focused solely on the success of the heist and the recognition that comes with it. Throughout the screenplay, he faces challenges that force him to confront his vulnerabilities and the consequences of his actions. As the heist unfolds, he experiences moments of doubt and conflict, particularly when his loyalty to his crew is tested. By the climax, Derek learns the importance of trust and collaboration, realizing that his strength lies not just in his own abilities but in the bonds he forms with others. In the resolution, he emerges as a more rounded individual, having embraced vulnerability and the value of teamwork, ultimately redefining his understanding of success. | While Derek's character is well-defined with a strong moral compass and leadership qualities, his arc could benefit from deeper emotional exploration. The transition from a ruthless criminal to a more vulnerable leader feels somewhat abrupt and could use more gradual development. Additionally, his motivations could be more clearly articulated to enhance audience connection and understanding of his internal struggles. | To improve Derek's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or moments of introspection that reveal his past experiences and the origins of his moral compass. This would provide context for his actions and decisions throughout the heist. Additionally, introduce a pivotal moment where he must choose between personal ambition and the well-being of his crew, allowing for a more nuanced exploration of his character. Finally, ensure that his relationships with other crew members evolve organically, showcasing how they influence his growth and contribute to his ultimate transformation. |
| Michael | Michael's character arc follows a journey from a charismatic and impulsive criminal to a more grounded and morally aware individual. Initially, he thrives on the thrill of the heist, often disregarding the risks involved. As the story progresses, he faces increasing pressure and internal conflict, leading him to question his ambition and the moral implications of his actions. Through interactions with his teammates, particularly Derek, he learns the importance of loyalty and the value of considering the consequences of his decisions. By the climax, Michael emerges as a more balanced character, capable of leading with both charm and a sense of responsibility, ultimately making a pivotal choice that reflects his growth. | While Michael's character arc is compelling, it may benefit from deeper exploration of his internal conflicts. The transitions between his various states—impulsive, anxious, loyal, optimistic, and tough—could be more nuanced to create a more cohesive character journey. Additionally, the motivations behind his charm and ruthlessness could be further developed to enhance audience empathy and understanding of his choices. | To improve Michael's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or moments of reflection that reveal his past experiences and the origins of his charm and ruthlessness. This could provide context for his internal struggles and make his growth more impactful. Additionally, introducing a pivotal moment where he must choose between loyalty to his friends and his ambition could heighten the stakes and emphasize his transformation. Finally, allowing for more interactions with other characters that challenge his views could create a richer narrative and deepen his development. |
| Packie | Packie's character arc begins with him as a pragmatic opportunist, focused solely on wealth and success. As he becomes more deeply entrenched in the criminal underworld, he transforms into a ruthless leader, willing to manipulate and betray those around him to achieve his goals. The turning point in his arc occurs when he faces the emotional fallout from his brother's death, which ignites a desire for revenge and justice. This internal conflict leads him to question his loyalty and the morality of his actions. By the climax, Packie is a conflicted figure, torn between his ambition and the consequences of his ruthless behavior. Ultimately, his arc concludes with a moment of reckoning, where he must confront the cost of his pursuit of power, leading to either his downfall or a potential redemption, depending on the choices he makes in the final act. | Packie's character arc is compelling, showcasing a transformation from a pragmatic opportunist to a ruthless antagonist. However, the arc could benefit from clearer motivations and a more gradual evolution of his internal conflict. While his ambition and desire for power are well-established, the emotional impact of his brother's death could be explored more deeply to create a stronger connection with the audience. Additionally, the moments of doubt and vulnerability could be more pronounced, allowing for a more nuanced portrayal of his internal struggles. | To improve Packie's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or moments of reflection that highlight his relationship with his brother, emphasizing the emotional stakes of his actions. This could create a more profound sense of loss and drive his desire for revenge. Additionally, introducing a mentor or a rival who challenges his worldview could provide opportunities for growth and self-reflection. Finally, ensure that his moments of doubt lead to tangible changes in his behavior, allowing the audience to witness his internal struggle and potential for redemption or further descent into darkness. |
| Kane | Kane's character arc follows his transformation from a conflicted and insecure member of the crew to a decisive leader who embraces his moral code. Initially, he struggles with his violent tendencies and the influence of James, feeling overshadowed and defensive. As the story progresses, Kane begins to assert himself, recognizing the importance of his insights and the value of his moral compass. A pivotal moment occurs when he must choose between loyalty to the crew and doing what he believes is right, leading to a confrontation with James. This choice catalyzes his growth, allowing him to emerge as a more confident and principled leader. By the end of the feature, Kane has not only broken free from his criminal ties but has also found a way to channel his strengths into a positive direction, ultimately leading the team towards a more ethical path. | Kane's character arc is compelling, but it could benefit from deeper exploration of his internal conflicts and motivations. While his transformation is clear, the screenplay may not fully convey the emotional weight of his struggles. The tension between his loyalty to the crew and his moral dilemmas could be more pronounced, allowing the audience to connect with his journey on a deeper level. Additionally, the interactions with James could be fleshed out to highlight the power dynamics and Kane's gradual assertion of his own authority. | To improve Kane's character arc, consider incorporating more flashbacks or internal monologues that reveal his past traumas and the origins of his violent tendencies. This would provide context for his struggles and make his transformation more impactful. Additionally, create more scenes that showcase his evolving relationship with James, emphasizing the moments where Kane stands up for himself and his beliefs. Introducing a mentor figure or a pivotal ally could also help guide Kane's growth and provide a contrasting perspective on morality and leadership. Finally, ensure that the climax of his arc is emotionally resonant, perhaps by placing him in a situation where he must choose between saving a teammate or adhering to his moral code, thereby solidifying his transformation. |
| James | Throughout the screenplay, James's character arc follows a trajectory from a cold, calculating leader to a more emotionally vulnerable figure. Initially, he is portrayed as a ruthless crime boss, focused solely on power and control. As the story progresses, James faces increasing challenges that test his authority and loyalty, particularly from his brother John and rival factions. These conflicts force him to confront his own vulnerabilities and the consequences of his manipulative tactics. By the climax, James experiences a moment of reckoning, where he must choose between his ambition and the loyalty of those closest to him. Ultimately, he learns that true power lies not in manipulation but in genuine connections, leading to a transformation that reshapes his leadership style and priorities. | While James's character is well-defined as a ruthless and ambitious crime boss, his arc could benefit from deeper emotional exploration. The transition from a cold manipulator to a more vulnerable leader feels somewhat abrupt and could be better developed. The screenplay should provide more insight into James's internal struggles and motivations, allowing the audience to empathize with his journey. Additionally, the stakes of his relationships, particularly with his brother John, could be heightened to create a more compelling conflict that drives his transformation. | To improve James's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or moments of introspection that reveal his past experiences and the origins of his ruthless ambition. This could help the audience understand his motivations and the emotional weight behind his actions. Additionally, introduce a pivotal event that forces James to confront the consequences of his manipulative behavior, such as a betrayal that leads to significant loss. This could serve as a catalyst for his transformation, making his eventual change feel more earned and impactful. Finally, explore the dynamics of his relationship with John more deeply, perhaps by showcasing moments of vulnerability or shared history that highlight their contrasting ambitions and the emotional stakes involved. |
| Nikko | Nikko's character arc begins with him as a hardened mentor, deeply entrenched in the criminal world but yearning for redemption. Initially, he is focused solely on protecting Al, often expressing concern and caution about the risks involved in their endeavors. As the story progresses, Nikko faces challenges that force him to confront his own past and vulnerabilities. He gradually evolves from a cautious protector to a more proactive figure, taking calculated risks to support Al's mission while also learning to trust Al's judgment. By the climax, Nikko's character reaches a turning point where he must choose between his old ways and a new path that embraces hope and change. Ultimately, he emerges as a more balanced individual, having reconciled his past with a newfound sense of purpose and mentorship. | While Nikko's character is well-developed and serves as a strong mentor figure, his arc could benefit from more dynamic moments that showcase his internal conflict. The screenplay tends to portray him as consistently cautious, which may limit opportunities for character growth. Additionally, his vulnerabilities could be explored in greater depth, allowing the audience to connect more emotionally with his journey. The stakes could be raised to challenge his protective instincts further, pushing him to make more significant sacrifices or decisions that test his loyalty and beliefs. | To improve Nikko's character arc, consider introducing a subplot that delves into his past, revealing specific events that shaped his cautious nature. This could involve flashbacks or interactions with former associates that challenge his current beliefs. Additionally, create scenarios where Nikko must confront his fears and take risks that contradict his protective instincts, allowing for moments of tension and growth. By incorporating these elements, Nikko's journey can become more compelling, showcasing a transformation that resonates with the audience and enhances the overall narrative. |
| Katherine |
|
Katherine's character arc is compelling, showcasing her growth from a curious graduate to a courageous individual. However, the arc could benefit from more distinct turning points that highlight her internal struggles and decisions. While her bravery is evident, the screenplay could delve deeper into her emotional journey, exploring the impact of her experiences on her worldview and relationships. | To improve Katherine's character arc, consider incorporating more moments of introspection where she reflects on her choices and their consequences. Introduce challenges that test her values and force her to make difficult decisions, allowing for greater emotional depth. Additionally, explore her relationships with other characters, particularly Al, to highlight how these connections influence her growth. This could create a more nuanced and relatable character journey. |
| Fred | Fred's character arc follows his journey from a rigid, duty-bound police chief to a more emotionally aware and balanced individual. Initially, he is solely focused on his job and the safety of his daughter, often leading to conflicts with those around him. As the story progresses, he faces challenges that force him to confront his fears and vulnerabilities, particularly regarding his daughter's safety. Through these experiences, Fred learns to trust others, delegate responsibilities, and open up emotionally, ultimately becoming a more rounded character who understands the importance of both justice and personal connections. | While Fred's character is well-defined with clear motivations and a strong moral compass, his arc could benefit from more depth and complexity. The transition from a rigid police chief to a more emotionally aware individual may feel abrupt if not properly developed. Additionally, his protective nature, while a strong trait, could risk making him appear overly one-dimensional if not balanced with moments of vulnerability or growth. | To improve Fred's character arc, consider incorporating more moments of internal conflict where he grapples with his protective instincts versus the need to let go and trust others. Introducing secondary characters who challenge his views on justice and family could provide opportunities for growth. Additionally, showcasing specific events that trigger his emotional evolution—such as a close call with Katherine or a pivotal case that resonates with his personal life—could create a more compelling and relatable journey. Finally, allowing Fred to make mistakes and learn from them would add layers to his character, making his eventual transformation feel earned and authentic. |
| George | George begins as a confident and enthusiastic engineer, excited to showcase his latest inventions to Al. As the story progresses, he faces challenges that test his technical skills and his ability to adapt to unforeseen circumstances. Initially focused on the technical aspects of his creations, George learns the importance of teamwork and the human element in their missions. By the climax, he must confront a critical failure in one of his inventions, leading to self-doubt. However, through collaboration with Al and the team, he overcomes this setback, ultimately realizing that innovation is not just about technology but also about the people who use it. By the end of the feature, George emerges as a more well-rounded character, balancing his technical expertise with a deeper understanding of teamwork and trust. | While George's character is well-defined as an enthusiastic engineer, his arc could benefit from more emotional depth and personal stakes. The transition from a purely technical focus to a more collaborative approach feels somewhat abrupt and could be better developed. Additionally, the character's motivations and background are not fully explored, which may limit audience connection and investment in his journey. | To improve George's character arc, consider incorporating a backstory that highlights his motivations for pursuing engineering and weaponry. This could include personal experiences that shaped his passion and drive. Additionally, introduce a subplot that challenges his beliefs about technology and its implications, allowing for a more gradual evolution in his character. This could involve a moral dilemma related to the use of his inventions, prompting him to reflect on the consequences of his work. By deepening his emotional journey and providing relatable stakes, audiences will be more engaged with his transformation throughout the feature. |
| Big Al | Throughout the screenplay, Big Al evolves from a solitary figure driven solely by revenge to a more nuanced character who learns the importance of connection and teamwork. Initially, he operates alone, haunted by his troubled past and a desire for retribution against those who wronged him. As the story progresses, he encounters allies who challenge his solitary mindset, forcing him to confront his vulnerabilities and the emotional toll of his quest for justice. By the climax, Big Al realizes that true strength lies not just in physical power but in the bonds he forms with others. In the resolution, he embraces a more collaborative approach to heroism, finding a balance between his quest for justice and the importance of community. | While Big Al's character is compelling with a strong foundation of mystery and complexity, his arc may feel somewhat predictable as it follows a common trope of the lone hero learning to accept help. The motivations driving his desire for revenge could be explored in greater depth to enhance emotional resonance. Additionally, the transition from a solitary figure to a team player may need more gradual development to avoid feeling rushed or forced. | To improve Big Al's character arc, consider incorporating more backstory elements that reveal the specific events that shaped his desire for revenge and his connection to dinosaurs. This could involve flashbacks or interactions with characters from his past. Additionally, introduce a mentor or a significant ally early in the story who can challenge his views on justice and teamwork, allowing for a more organic evolution of his character. Finally, emphasize the emotional stakes of his journey by showcasing the consequences of his solitary actions on those around him, making his eventual acceptance of teamwork feel more impactful. |
| Theme | Theme Details | Theme Explanation | ||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Redemption (80%) | Al, a troubled young man with a criminal past, seeks to atone for his past actions by becoming a vigilante and protecting innocent people, ultimately confronting his former criminal associates and the Gregorios crime family. | Redemption is a central theme in the screenplay, as Al struggles to make amends for his past mistakes and find a sense of purpose in his life. He is motivated by a desire for justice and a need to protect the innocent, which leads him to adopt the identity of Big Al and fight for what he believes is right. | ||||||||||||
Strengthening Redemption:
| ||||||||||||||
| Justice (75%) | Al seeks to expose and punish the Gregorios crime family for their illegal activities and the harm they have caused. He uses his vigilante skills to bring down their operations and protect innocent people from their influence. | Justice is a driving force behind Al's actions. He seeks to right the wrongs that have been committed by the Gregorios and hold them accountable for their crimes. This theme is evident throughout the story as Al strives to expose their crimes and ultimately bring them down. | ||||||||||||
| Family and Loyalty (60%) | Al's relationship with his brothers is strained, and his actions cause conflict and tension within his family. Al also faces moral dilemmas regarding his loyalty to his former gang, ultimately choosing to break ties with them in pursuit of justice. | The theme of family and loyalty is explored through Al's complex relationships with his brothers and his former gang. Al struggles with the conflicting loyalties he feels, ultimately choosing to prioritize justice over his old allegiances. This theme highlights the complexities of family bonds and the difficult choices individuals face in situations of moral conflict. | ||||||||||||
| Identity and Transformation (50%) | Al undergoes a physical and emotional transformation as he embraces the persona of Big Al, a vigilante with a unique suit and a dinosaur-inspired aesthetic. This transformation symbolizes his shift in identity and his commitment to fighting for justice. | Identity and transformation are key elements of the story. Al's transition from a troubled young man to a vigilante represents a profound change in his identity and his values. His embrace of the Big Al persona allows him to tap into a different aspect of himself and take on a new role in society. | ||||||||||||
| Power and Control (40%) | Al and the Gregorios crime family engage in a constant struggle for power and control. Al utilizes his vigilante skills to disrupt the Gregorios' operations and challenge their authority, while the Gregorios seek to maintain their dominance and eliminate threats to their empire. | The theme of power and control is a constant undercurrent in the screenplay. Al's actions are driven by a desire to take back control of his own life and to challenge the power of the Gregorios. This theme highlights the corrupting influence of power and the dangers of unchecked authority. | ||||||||||||
| Morality and Ethics (35%) | Al grapples with moral dilemmas as he navigates the line between vigilantism and illegal activity. He is forced to make difficult choices that question the boundaries of justice and the consequences of his actions. | The screenplay explores the complexities of morality and ethics through Al's choices and actions. He is driven by a sense of justice, but he is also forced to confront the consequences of his vigilante activities and the ethical gray areas he encounters. This theme raises questions about the nature of justice, the use of violence, and the sacrifices individuals are willing to make for what they believe in. | ||||||||||||
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
| Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
| John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
| What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
| Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Robert McKee: "The audience doesn’t go to the movies to see plot; they go to feel emotion, to be moved."
Emotional Analysis
Emotional Variety
Critique
- The screenplay exhibits a range of emotions, but certain scenes, particularly those involving Al's internal struggles, tend to lean heavily on themes of regret and sadness, which can create a sense of emotional fatigue for the audience.
- Scenes such as 1, 5, and 35 focus predominantly on Al's feelings of loss and regret, which, while impactful, may benefit from the introduction of contrasting emotions to maintain engagement.
- The emotional landscape could be enriched by incorporating moments of levity or hope, especially in scenes that are otherwise dark or tense.
Suggestions
- Introduce moments of humor or light-heartedness in scenes like 22 and 23, where Al and Katherine bond over dinosaurs, to provide emotional relief and contrast the heavier themes.
- Incorporate more varied emotional responses from supporting characters, such as Al's brothers or the gang members, to create a richer emotional tapestry throughout the screenplay.
Emotional Intensity Distribution
Critique
- The emotional intensity fluctuates significantly, with peaks in scenes like 18 and 39, where chaos and violence are at their highest, but there are valleys in quieter moments that may feel underwhelming.
- Scenes such as 12 and 28, which involve police investigations, tend to have lower emotional intensity, risking disengagement from the audience.
- The transition between high-stakes action and quieter moments could be more balanced to maintain audience engagement.
Suggestions
- Increase the emotional stakes in quieter scenes by adding internal conflict or tension, such as Al reflecting on his choices or Katherine grappling with her feelings about Al.
- Consider pacing the emotional intensity more evenly throughout the screenplay, perhaps by interspersing lighter moments between high-tension scenes to provide the audience with emotional breathing room.
Empathy For Characters
Critique
- Empathy for Al is strong in scenes like 3 and 35, where his internal struggles are highlighted, but there are moments where supporting characters lack depth, making it harder for the audience to connect with them.
- Characters like Packie and Derek could benefit from more backstory or emotional depth to enhance audience empathy, particularly in scenes where they face moral dilemmas.
- The emotional connection to Katherine fluctuates, with stronger moments in scenes like 41, but weaker in others where her character feels sidelined.
Suggestions
- Add flashbacks or dialogue that reveals more about Packie's motivations and past, particularly in scenes like 34 and 35, to foster empathy for his character.
- Enhance Katherine's emotional journey by giving her more agency and depth in scenes where she interacts with Al, allowing the audience to connect with her struggles and aspirations.
Emotional Impact Of Key Scenes
Critique
- Key scenes such as 25 and 40 deliver strong emotional punches, but others, like 12 and 28, feel less impactful due to a lack of emotional buildup or resolution.
- The climactic moments, particularly Al's confrontation with Packie, could benefit from heightened emotional stakes to leave a lasting impression on the audience.
- Scenes that involve significant character losses, like Nikko's death in 35, could be more emotionally resonant with additional focus on the characters' relationships.
Suggestions
- Rework the dialogue in key scenes to heighten emotional stakes, particularly during confrontations, by incorporating more personal stakes or emotional revelations.
- Consider adding moments of reflection or emotional fallout in the aftermath of key events, such as Al's confrontation with Packie, to deepen the emotional impact.
Complex Emotional Layers
Critique
- Many scenes, particularly those focused on Al's internal struggles, feel one-dimensional, primarily revolving around regret and sadness without exploring additional emotional layers.
- Scenes like 23 and 24 could benefit from introducing sub-emotions such as hope or nostalgia to create a more complex emotional experience for the audience.
- The emotional layers in scenes involving the gang members often lack depth, making their motivations feel simplistic.
Suggestions
- Introduce sub-emotions in scenes where Al reflects on his past, such as moments of nostalgia or fleeting hope, to create a richer emotional experience.
- Enhance the emotional complexity of gang members by exploring their motivations and fears, particularly in scenes where they face moral dilemmas or conflicts.
Additional Critique
Character Development
Critiques
- While Al's character arc is well-developed, supporting characters like Katherine and Packie could benefit from deeper exploration to enhance audience connection.
- Scenes that focus on Katherine's aspirations and fears are often overshadowed by Al's narrative, limiting her emotional impact on the audience.
- Packie's motivations and backstory are not fully explored, making it difficult for the audience to empathize with his character during key moments.
Suggestions
- Incorporate more scenes that delve into Katherine's background and her relationship with her father, particularly in moments of tension, to enhance her character's depth.
- Provide flashbacks or dialogue that reveal Packie's past and motivations, particularly in scenes where he faces moral dilemmas, to foster empathy and complexity.
Pacing and Emotional Flow
Critiques
- The pacing of emotional highs and lows can feel uneven, with some scenes dragging while others rush through critical moments, impacting overall engagement.
- Scenes that involve significant action often overshadow quieter moments, leading to a lack of emotional resonance in character-driven scenes.
- The transitions between high-stakes action and quieter character moments could be smoother to maintain audience engagement.
Suggestions
- Consider restructuring the screenplay to alternate between high-stakes action and character-driven moments more effectively, allowing for emotional breathing room.
- Incorporate moments of reflection or dialogue that deepen character relationships during quieter scenes, enhancing emotional engagement.
| Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
|---|---|
| internal Goals | Throughout the script, the protagonist's internal goals evolve from a desire for validation and control to seeking justice and redemption following personal tragedy. Initially, the drive for power and recognition through crime shifts to a deeper need for integrity and protection of loved ones, culminating in a quest for vengeance against those who caused him pain. |
| External Goals | The protagonist's external goals transition from executing successful heists and navigating the criminal underworld to actively confronting and dismantling the crime family responsible for his personal loss. This shift reflects a commitment to rectify the consequences of his past actions. |
| Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict involves the tension between the protagonist's pursuit of justice and the moral ambiguity of his past actions. This conflict is exemplified in his struggle with power dynamics within the criminal underworld, reflecting a deeper search for integrity in a corrupt system. |
Character Development Contribution: The evolution of the protagonist's goals showcases a transformative journey from a self-serving criminal to an individual motivated by justice and personal redemption, reflecting growth in empathy and ethical responsibility.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The interplay of internal and external goals drives the narrative forward, creating suspenseful stakes in the heist and the subsequent confrontations, effectively intertwining character development with plot progression.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The themes of justice, redemption, and the consequences of crime are deepened through the protagonist's journey, exploring the complexities of morality and the human desire for purpose and belonging within a morally ambiguous landscape.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
| Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
| Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
| Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
What's going on here? - Scenes are rated on many critreia. The goal isn't to try to maximize every number; \
It's to make you aware of what's happening in your scenes. You might have very good reasons to have character development but not advance the story, or have a scene without conflict. Obviously if your dialogue is really bad, you should probably look into that.
| Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall | Concept | Plot | Originality | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
| 1 - The Leap into the Unknown Improve | Tension, Anticipation, Contemplative, Hopeful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 2 - Shadows at the Festival Improve | Intense, Calculating, Ruthless, Confident | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 3 - Vault Under Siege Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Calm, Menacing, Calculating | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 4 - Chaos Unleashed Improve | Tense, Agitated, Dark, Urgent, Commanding | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 5 - Chaos and Conflict Improve | Intense, Tense, Dramatic, Confrontational | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 6 - Betrayal on the Highway Improve | Intense, Suspenseful, Ruthless, Tense, Chaotic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 7 - Desperate Escape Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Serious, Dark | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 8 - Desperate Measures Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 9 - Betrayal at Midnight Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Action-packed | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 10 - Nightclub Confrontation Improve | Intense, Menacing, Cold, Ruthless | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 11 - Escape and Graduation Improve | Tense, Determined, Regretful, Proud, Concerned, Encouraging, Grateful, Casual, Enthusiastic, Acknowledging, Contemplative | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 12 - Shattered Plans Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Determined, Angry | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 13 - The Allosaurus Revelation Improve | Intense, Intriguing, Suspenseful | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 14 - Confrontation and Resolve Improve | Tense, Defiant, Serious, Urgent, Playful | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 15 - Tension Rising Improve | Tense, Dark, Suspenseful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 16 - Nightlife Revelations Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 17 - Dreams and Dangers Improve | Serious, Reflective, Informative | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 18 - Nightclub Mayhem Improve | Tense, Chaotic, Menacing, Fierce | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 19 - Chaos and Courage at the Nightclub Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Chaotic, Serious, Grim | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 20 - Tensions Rise: A Night of Reckoning Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 21 - Tension and Strategy Improve | Tense, Intriguing, Suspenseful | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 22 - A Kind Gesture at the Museum Improve | Informative, Friendly, Educational | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 5 | 8 | 7.5 | 3 | 7 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 23 - Shadows of Survival Improve | Intense, Dark, Foreboding, Educational | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 24 - Museum Heist: Chaos Unleashed Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Dark, Intense | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 25 - Bravery in the Vault Improve | Tense, Brave, Generous, Concerned, Chaotic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 26 - Planning the Frame Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Dark, Intense | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 27 - Evidence and Anticipation Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Intriguing, Mysterious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 28 - Unraveling the Heist Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Serious | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 29 - Chaos at the Docks Improve | Tense, Menacing, Chaotic, Intense | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 30 - Nightfall Confrontation Improve | Tense, Furious, Desperate, Dark | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 31 - Bait and Strategy Improve | Tense, Intriguing, Calculating, Suspenseful | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 32 - Morning News and Midnight Secrets Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Mysterious, Intense, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 33 - Revelations in the Sanctuary Improve | Serious, Revealing, Intense, Reflective | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 34 - A Vow of Vengeance Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Grim | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 35 - Betrayal and Consequences Improve | Tense, Dramatic, Suspenseful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 36 - Turning the Tables Improve | Intense, Menacing, Cold, Determined | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 37 - Tension at the Docks Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 38 - Docks of Desperation Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 39 - Clash at the Docks Improve | Tense, Foreboding, Determined | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 40 - Aerial Vendetta Improve | Intense, Tense, Dramatic, Confrontational | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 41 - Bittersweet Farewell and Dark Intentions Improve | Tense, Foreboding, Confrontational, Emotional | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 42 - Final Goodbye Improve | Tense, Foreboding, Intense, Emotional | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
Summary of Scene Level Analysis
Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.
Scene Strengths
- Engaging dialogue that captures character interactions effectively and drives the plot forward.
- Strong character development for main characters, particularly in their emotional arcs and motivations.
- Tension-building elements that enhance dramatic scenes and keep the audience invested.
- High-stakes scenarios that create urgency and impact throughout the screenplay.
- Well-executed action sequences that maintain intensity and excitement.
Scene Weaknesses
- Some dialogue lacks nuance and could benefit from greater depth and impact.
- Limited emotional depth in certain scenes, which may affect audience connection with characters.
- Possible predictability in plot twists, reducing the overall suspense and freshness of the narrative.
- Certain character motivations lack clarity, making it difficult for audiences to fully understand their actions.
- Insufficient development of secondary characters, which can detract from the overall richness of the story.
Suggestions
- Revise dialogues to make them more nuanced and impactful, focusing on subtext and character voice.
- Deepen the emotional exploration of key scenes to enhance audience connection and investment.
- Introduce unexpected plot developments to maintain suspense and engage viewers more effectively.
- Clarify character motivations in pivotal moments to strengthen the audience's understanding of their decisions.
- Develop supporting characters further to enrich the narrative and create a more immersive story world.
Scene 1 - The Leap into the Unknown
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 2 - Shadows at the Festival
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 3 - Vault Under Siege
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 4 - Chaos Unleashed
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 5 - Chaos and Conflict
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 6 - Betrayal on the Highway
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 7 - Desperate Escape
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 8 - Desperate Measures
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 9 - Betrayal at Midnight
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 10 - Nightclub Confrontation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 11 - Escape and Graduation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 12 - Shattered Plans
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 13 - The Allosaurus Revelation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 14 - Confrontation and Resolve
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 15 - Tension Rising
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 16 - Nightlife Revelations
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 17 - Dreams and Dangers
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 18 - Nightclub Mayhem
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 19 - Chaos and Courage at the Nightclub
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 20 - Tensions Rise: A Night of Reckoning
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 21 - Tension and Strategy
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 22 - A Kind Gesture at the Museum
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 23 - Shadows of Survival
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 24 - Museum Heist: Chaos Unleashed
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 25 - Bravery in the Vault
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 26 - Planning the Frame
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 27 - Evidence and Anticipation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 28 - Unraveling the Heist
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 29 - Chaos at the Docks
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 30 - Nightfall Confrontation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 31 - Bait and Strategy
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 32 - Morning News and Midnight Secrets
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 33 - Revelations in the Sanctuary
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 34 - A Vow of Vengeance
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 35 - Betrayal and Consequences
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 36 - Turning the Tables
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 37 - Tension at the Docks
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 38 - Docks of Desperation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 39 - Clash at the Docks
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 40 - Aerial Vendetta
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 41 - Bittersweet Farewell and Dark Intentions
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 42 - Final Goodbye
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene by Scene Emotions
suspense Analysis
Executive Summary
Suspense is effectively woven throughout the screenplay, creating a gripping atmosphere that keeps the audience engaged. The tension builds through character decisions, impending confrontations, and the uncertainty of outcomes, particularly in scenes involving Al's confrontations with the Gregorios and the heists.
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fear Analysis
Executive Summary
Fear is a prominent emotion in the screenplay, effectively portrayed through the characters' experiences and the high-stakes situations they face. The tension surrounding Al's confrontations and the violent world he inhabits creates a palpable sense of dread.
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joy Analysis
Executive Summary
Joy is subtly interwoven into the screenplay, providing moments of relief amidst the tension. These instances often highlight character connections and aspirations, offering a contrast to the darker themes present in the narrative.
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sadness Analysis
Executive Summary
Sadness is a recurring theme in the screenplay, effectively portrayed through character backstories and the consequences of their choices. The emotional weight of loss and regret resonates deeply, adding depth to the narrative.
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surprise Analysis
Executive Summary
Surprise plays a crucial role in the screenplay, effectively used to create plot twists and engage the audience. The unexpected turns in the narrative keep viewers on their toes, enhancing the overall tension and emotional impact.
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empathy Analysis
Executive Summary
Empathy is a central emotion in the screenplay, effectively portrayed through character interactions and emotional struggles. The audience is invited to connect with the characters' experiences, fostering a deeper emotional investment in their journeys.
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