Whiplash
Executive Summary
Poster

Overview
Genres: Drama, Music, Romance, Thriller, Legal, Family
Setting: Modern day, New York City, primarily at Shaffer Conservatory and various music venues
Overview: Whiplash follows Andrew Neiman, a 19-year-old aspiring drummer at the prestigious Shaffer Conservatory, as he navigates the intense pressures of music education under the tyrannical mentorship of Terence Fletcher. The story begins with Andrew's relentless practice and desire to prove himself, leading to his selection for Fletcher's elite Studio Band. As Andrew faces Fletcher's abusive teaching methods, he grapples with self-doubt, physical pain, and the sacrifices required for greatness. The narrative escalates as Andrew's ambition drives him to extreme lengths, culminating in a climactic confrontation with Fletcher that tests his resolve and commitment to his craft.
Themes: The Pursuit of Greatness and Artistic Mastery, Abusive Mentorship and the Price of Pushing Boundaries, The Nature of Talent vs. Hard Work, Sacrifice and Obsession, Family and Societal Expectations, The Cost of Perfectionism, Redemption and Moving Forward, The Double-Edged Sword of Ambition
Conflict and Stakes: Andrew's struggle against Fletcher's abusive teaching methods and his own obsessive drive for perfection, with his musical career and mental health at stake.
Overall Mood: Intense and dramatic
Mood/Tone at Key Scenes:
- Scene 1: The mood is tense and anxiety-inducing as Andrew faces Fletcher's scrutiny during his audition.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The intense and abusive relationship between a student and his mentor, exploring the dark side of ambition.
- Major Twist: The revelation of Fletcher's manipulative tactics and the psychological toll they take on Andrew.
- Innovative Ideas: The film's use of music as a central narrative device, blending performance with psychological drama.
- Distinctive Setting: The competitive world of music conservatories, highlighting the pressures faced by aspiring musicians.
Comparable Scripts:
- Whiplash
- Black Swan
- The Social Network
- Amadeus
- The Pursuit of Happyness
- Birdman
- La La Land
- The Devil Wears Prada
- A Star is Born
Writing Style:
The screenplay features a highly dialogue-driven style, characterized by sharp, rapid-fire exchanges, intense character dynamics, and a focus on ambition, passion, and the sacrifices required for artistic or professional excellence. There's a strong emphasis on power dynamics, internal conflicts, and high-stakes environments, often within the context of competitive fields like music or intense professional settings. Moments of introspection and nuanced emotional exploration are also present, particularly in scenes focusing on personal growth and relationships.
Style Similarities:
- Damien Chazelle
- Aaron Sorkin
Pass/Consider/Recommend
Highly Recommend
Explanation: Whiplash is a tightly constructed, high-concept character drama that transforms the specific world of competitive jazz into a universal study of obsession, mentorship and the cost of greatness. The screenplay’s primary strengths are its escalating conflict, crystalline premise (student vs. merciless teacher), visceral set pieces (rehearsals, competitions), economical scenes that show rather than tell, and a final act payoff that reframes the entire relationship between protagonist and antagonist. Weaknesses are mostly thematic or relational: supporting characters (notably Nicole and some faculty/peers) are under-baked, Fletcher’s backstory/motivation is sketched rather than explored, and a few narrative consequences (the legal aftermath, long-term fallout) are left intentionally ambiguous — which may frustrate readers seeking closure. Overall pacing is propulsive with one prolonged middle that tests endurance by design; character arcs for Andrew and Fletcher are convincingly drawn and culminate in an emotionally and kinetically satisfying finale.
USP: Whiplash's unique selling proposition is its uncompromising exploration of the toxic relationship between artistic genius and abusive mentorship, presented through the specific lens of jazz drumming. Unlike traditional teacher-student narratives that follow redemption arcs, this screenplay dares to question whether abuse can be justified in the pursuit of greatness, creating a morally complex and psychologically intense experience that transcends its musical setting to speak to universal themes of ambition, sacrifice, and the cost of excellence.
Market Analysis
Budget Estimate:$10-20 million
Target Audience Demographics: Young adults and adults aged 18-45, particularly those interested in music, drama, and psychological thrillers.
Marketability: The film's intense themes and character-driven narrative resonate with audiences, and its exploration of ambition and mentorship is timely and relatable.
The film's unique premise and high-stakes drama attract both music enthusiasts and general audiences, enhancing its appeal.
Strong performances, particularly from the lead actors, and the film's critical acclaim can drive interest and viewership.
Profit Potential: High, due to its potential for awards recognition, strong word-of-mouth, and appeal to both niche and mainstream audiences.
Analysis Criteria Percentiles
Writer's Voice
Summary:The writer's original voice is characterized by its sharp, concise, and impactful dialogue, which masterfully conveys character dynamics, power struggles, and underlying tension. This is coupled with vivid sensory descriptions that immerse the reader in the intense emotional and physical experiences of the characters, particularly Andrew. The narrative also employs a keen focus on the internal struggles and obsessive pursuits of the protagonist, balanced with moments of introspective contemplation. The direction emphasizes precise actions and potent silences, building suspense and highlighting unspoken emotions. Overall, the voice is one of raw intensity, authenticity, and a deep exploration of ambition, perfectionism, and the psychological toll of artistic pursuit.
Best representation: Scene 18 - Melancholy and Competition. Scene 18 best showcases the author's unique voice due to its raw, unflinching portrayal of Andrew's relentless pursuit of perfection and the physical and emotional toll it exacts. The vivid sensory descriptions of his "blistered and bleeding hands" and the extreme metronome speed of "405" are powerful testaments to the writer's ability to immerse the reader in the protagonist's grueling practice. The narrative's focus on the internal and external pressures, coupled with the sparse yet impactful dialogue, perfectly encapsulates the voice's intensity, obsession, and the dark side of artistic ambition, which are central to the screenplay's themes.
Memorable Lines:
- Fletcher: Take it from me, and every Starbucks jazz album only proves my point. There are no two words more harmful in the entire English language than 'good job'. (Scene 52)
- ANDREW: Because I want to be great. (Scene 30)
- Fletcher: You want the part? Then...earn it. (Scene 32)
- FLETCHER: I asked you why you stopped playing. Your version of an answer was to turn into a wind-up drummer monkey. (Scene 1)
- ANDREW: God-fucking-damnit, I SAID I was on my way, you tell the redhead I’m ON MY FUCKING WAY!! (Scene 41)
Characters
Andrew Neiman:A dedicated and ambitious young drummer striving for greatness in a competitive music environment.
Terence Fletcher:A demanding and abusive music instructor whose harsh methods push students to their limits.
Jim Neiman:Andrew's supportive but passive father, who struggles with his own unfulfilled dreams.
Nicole:Andrew's love interest, who represents a potential connection outside of his obsessive pursuit of music.
Ryan Connolly:A confident and skilled drummer who poses a threat to Andrew's aspirations.
Story Shape
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
| Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall Grade | Concept | Plot | Originality Score | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
| 1 - The Audition | Intense, Serious, Demanding | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 2 - Unspoken Connections | Introspective, Nostalgic, Reflective | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8.5 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 3 - Echoes of Genius | Introspective, Reflective, Lonely, Aspirational | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 4 - Tension in the Band Room | Intense, Reflective, Intriguing | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 5 - Facing Reality | Introspective, Tense, Awkward | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8.5 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 6 - Caught in the Spotlight | Intense, Reflective, Inspirational | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 7 - Pushing Limits | Intense, Reflective, Defeated | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 8 - A Nervous Proposal | Nervous, Awkward, Hopeful | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 9 - The Crossroads of Ambition | Intense, Reflective, Conversational | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8.5 | |
| 10 - The Crucible of Talent | Intense, Defiant, Hopeful | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 11 - Shared Vulnerabilities | Nervous, Reflective, Intimate, Vulnerable | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 2 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 12 - The Early Riser's Rush | Intense, Reflective, Anxious | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 13 - The Pressure of Perfection | Intense, Tense, Serious, Overwhelming | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 14 - Encouragement in the Shadows | Intense, Serious, Encouraging, Reflective | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 15 - The Breaking Point | Intense, Emotional, Terrifying, Confrontational | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 16 - Struggles of a Musician | Intense, Emotional, Tense | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 17 - Driven to Excellence | Intense, Emotional, Tense, Resolute, Hopeful | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 18 - Isolation and Obsession | Intense, Emotional, Determined, Devastating | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 19 - Melancholy and Competition | Intense, Emotional, Melancholic | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 20 - Fletcher's Duality: Charm and Tyranny | Intense, Serious, Dramatic, Abusive | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 21 - Tension on Stage | Intense, Serious, Dramatic, Emotional | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 22 - The Missing Folder | Intense, Tense, Dramatic, Anxious | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 23 - High Stakes in the Green Room | Intense, Dramatic, Confrontational | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 24 - Under Pressure | Intense, Dramatic, Emotional | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 7.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 25 - A Moment of Reflection | Intense, Reflective, Emotional | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 26 - Tensions Rise in Rehearsal | Intense, Serious, Shocking | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 27 - Avoidance on the Bus | Tense, Reflective, Emotional | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 28 - Kitchen Tensions | Tense, Reflective, Emotional | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | |
| 29 - Dinner Table Tensions | Tension, Resentment, Defensiveness, Disappointment | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 30 - The Breakup Decision | Serious, Intense, Emotional | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 31 - The Tension of Replacement | Intense, Competitive, Anxious | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 32 - The Challenge of Determination | Desperation, Emotional, Intense | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 7.5 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 33 - Relentless Pursuit | Intense, Frustrated, Angry, Determined | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 34 - The Price of Perfection | Intense, Emotional, Tense, Angry | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 35 - The Breaking Point | Intense, Emotional, Confrontational | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 36 - Drumline Showdown | Intense, Emotional, Tense | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 37 - Exhaustion and Transformation | Intense, Emotional, Tense, Rage, Exhaustion | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 10 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 38 - Mechanical Breakdown | Intense, Emotional, Tense | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 7 | 10 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 39 - Urgent Departure | Intense, Frustrated, Urgent | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 9 | 7 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 40 - Race Against Time | Intense, Desperate, Exhausted, Frantic | 8.5 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 41 - Race Against Time | Intense, Frustrated, Determined | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 42 - Race Against Time | Intense, Confrontational, Emotional | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 43 - Desperate Rush | Intense, Frantic, Aggressive, Desperate, Tragic | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 44 - Driven to the Stage | Intense, Desperate, Agonizing, Determined | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | |
| 45 - The Breaking Point | Intense, Emotional, Chaotic, Defiant | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 46 - A Farewell to Innocence | Intense, Emotional, Defiant | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 47 - Breaking Free | Intense, Emotional, Angry, Resolute | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8.5 | 8 | |
| 48 - Confronting the Past | Intense, Emotional, Confrontational, Reflective | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 49 - Silent Connections | Sadness, Resignation, Reflection | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 6 | 4 | 6 | 6 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 50 - Moments of Isolation | Resignation, Regret, Emotional | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 51 - Unexpected Encounter | Surprise, Tension, Intrigue | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 52 - Jazz Club Reflections | Reflective, Intense, Regretful | 9.2 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 10 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8.5 | |
| 53 - A New Opportunity | Tension, Resolution, Determination, Regret | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 54 - Unexpected Realizations | Confusion, Surprise, Resolution | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 55 - Preparation and Rejection | Regret, Longing, Hope, Disappointment | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 56 - The Tension Before the Performance | Tense, Reflective, Emotional | 8.5 | 8 | 9 | 7.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 57 - Anticipation in the Green Room | Tension, Resignation, Hope, Confidence | 8.7 | 9 | 9 | 7.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 58 - The Pressure of Performance | Intense, Reflective, Tense | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 7.5 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7.5 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | |
| 59 - The Disastrous Performance | Intense, Emotional, Tense, Defeated, Humiliating | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 60 - Defiance and Triumph | Intense, Emotional, Defiant, Powerful | 9.2 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
Scene 1 - The Audition
by
Damien Chazelle
BLACK...
We hear a HIT. A drumstick against a drum head. Crisp, sharp.
Then a second hit. Then a third and a fourth. The hits
growing so fast they start to blur together. Like gunfire...
1 INT. NASSAU BAND REHEARSAL STUDIO - GEHRING HALL - NIGHT 1
A cavernous space. Sound-proofed walls. And in the center, a
DRUM SET. Seated at it, in a sweat-marked white T, eyes
zeroed on his single-stroke roll, is ANDREW NEIMAN.
He’s 19, slight, honors-student-skinny -- except for his
arms, which have been built from years and years of drumming.
Suddenly -- a MAN enters the practice room. Stopping, rising--
ANDREW
Sorry... I’m -- I’m sorry--
MAN
It’s ok. Stay there.
The MAN steps forward, removes his coat. He’s tall. Late
fifties. Black T-shirt, black slacks, black shoes. We’ll know
him as FLETCHER.
The room is silent now. And then, softly, as he’s one of
those people whose whisper can scare the crap out of you--
FLETCHER
What’s your name?
ANDREW
Andrew Neiman, sir.
(It’s pronounced “Nayman”.)
FLETCHER
What year are you?
ANDREW
I’m a first-year, sir.
FLETCHER
You know who I am?
ANDREW
Yes...
FLETCHER
You know what I do?
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ANDREW
Yes...
FLETCHER
So you know I’m looking for players.
ANDREW
Yes...
FLETCHER
Then why did you stop playing?
Beat. Andrew nods, smiles. He gets it. Summons up all his
remaining energy and resumes playing, trying to really show
off this time. Rolls, fills, speedy stick-work. He finishes.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Did I say to start playing again?
Andrew looks at him.
ANDREW
I thought--
(then, blanching,)
I’m sorry, I misun--
FLETCHER
I asked you why you stopped playing. Your
version of an answer was to turn into a
wind-up drummer monkey.
ANDREW
I’m sorry -- I--I stopped playing becau--
FLETCHER
Show me your rudiments.
Andrew nods. Plays one rudiment after another: double-stroke
roll, paradiddle, ratamacue, flam, flamadiddle.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Uh-huh. Double-time swing.
Fletcher begins clapping his hand in time. Fast. Andrew plays.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
No. Double-time. Double it. Bop-bop-bop-
bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop-bop.
Andrew tries doubling the tempo. But he can’t. Fletcher STOPS
CLAPPING. The sign of death.
Andrew keeps playing, eyes shut... Then -- he hears the door
CLOSE. He stops, and looks up. Fletcher has left the room.
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A moment later -- the door OPENS. It’s Fletcher. Andrew’s
eyes widen. Maybe it’s not over...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Woopsy-daisy. Forgot my coat.
Fletcher grabs it, steps back out, CLOSES the door. Andrew
stares ahead, alone again at the drums -- and totally
deflated.
It’s over.
WIDE SHOT of the band room as Andrew slowly rises. A title card:
Shaffer Conservatory of Music
Fall Semester
2 EXT. NEW YORK STREET - SHAFFER CONSERVATORY - NIGHT 2
Andrew exits, hurries off. Pasted onto his overloaded back-
pack are patches, buttons, names: Krupa. Roach. Buddy Rich...
The buildings of midtown New York loom over him like giants --
immense, forbidding...
Ratings
Scene 2 - Unspoken Connections
A quiet two-screen theater. Andrew buys concessions. The GIRL
at the counter is about his age. She’s pretty, but doesn’t
really know it. More to the point, she doesn’t seem to care.
Her name is NICOLE.
NICOLE
Swedish fish?
ANDREW
Nah, not this time, thanks...
Andrew and Nicole exchange smiles. He takes his items --
popcorn, Raisinets, two sodas -- and heads off. Peers back at
Nicole. She’s staring into space. She looks suddenly lonely.
Andrew takes in the sight. You can tell he’s attracted to her
-- but he’s too nervous to do anything. A beat later, he
enters the theater.
4 INT. MOVIE THEATER - MOMENTS LATER 4
Andrew spots a 53-year-old man seated near the front. This is
his dad -- JIM. Mild-mannered, soft-spoken, average in every
respect. Has the eyes of a former dreamer.
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A smile between the two of them. Andrew hands his dad the
Raisinets, hands him the drink. Routine. The movie hasn’t
started yet. As they exchange items--
JIM
You ok?
ANDREW
Sure...
A beat.
ANDREW (CONT’D)
He had me play today.
JIM
And?
Andrew shrugs. It’s clear what that means.
JIM (CONT’D)
You still have other options.
ANDREW
What do you mean?
JIM
It’s good to be open-minded. When I was
your age I thought I’d have a book deal
at 23. Then that changed to 30. Then 40.
ANDREW
Right... And that didn’t upset you?
Jim shrugs, keeps his eyes down. He has a tendency to look
down when talking. The lights dim. The previews begin.
ANDREW (CONT’D)
I mean, it has to do something to you.
JIM
(another shrug)
I don’t know. Why? It’s just life.
(pause)
There’s other things to care about.
Friends. Romance...
Andrew takes it in. Especially the last part.
JIM (CONT’D)
At my age you get perspective.
ANDREW
I don’t want perspective.
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Jim smiles. A moment.
Just then a MOVIEGOER squeezes into the row to head to a
seat further down -- and bumps against Jim and his bucket
of popcorn.
JIM NEYMAN
Sorry.
The Moviegoer doesn’t say a word. Andrew watches. Takes
it in.
5 OMITTED 5
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Ratings
Scene 3 - Echoes of Genius
Rusty elevator doors squeak open. Andrew steps out -- into a
grimy, green-walled hallway.
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Dim lights, loud MUSIC blaring from behind a door. A thudding
party beat...
At the end of the hall -- where the music is coming from -- a
few PARTYGOERS mingle by a door. The door opens. A YOUNG MAN
hands a SECOND YOUNG MAN a wad of cash in exchange for a Zip-
lock bag of PILLS. The SECOND YOUNG MAN eyes Andrew.
Andrew turns away, heads left -- to his own door. Hurriedly
opens it and slips inside.
7 INT. DORMITORY - ANDREW’S ROOM - NIGHT 7
A single. Drumsticks and drum pads scattered, biographies of
Bach and Coltrane on the shelf, posters of Louis Armstrong
and Charlie Parker on the walls. A TV is on, some sort of
music documentary. Andrew watches from his bed -- as, over
OLD AUDIO OF DRUMMING and old stills of a boy at a drum set --
NARRATOR (V.O.)
By the age of ten, Traps the Boy Wonder
was wowing crowds all over America. By
his teens, Buddy Rich was well on his way
to becoming the stuff of legend.
TALKING HEAD #1
Like any truly great player, Buddy seemed
to have been born with music in his
blood. He grasped it intuitively, in a
way you and I just can’t.
TALKING HEAD #2
You check out the old stuff, man. You look
at those movies when he was a kid, his
arms...
Beat. Andrew takes it all in -- especially these words:
TALKING HEAD #2 (O.S.) (CONT’D)
You just can’t teach that. That kind of
genius.
(pause)
You either got it or you don’t.
Andrew turns off the TV. We hear the party beat continuing
outside, muffled. He leans back and switches off his light.
WE FADE OUT.
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Ratings
Scene 4 - Tension in the Band Room
The same room we saw Andrew practicing in at night -- only now
it’s full of musicians. Mostly male, mostly first- and second-
years. This is NASSAU BAND, one of Shaffer’s lower-level jazz
ensembles. Because it’s Shaffer, the players are still first-
rate. A few third-years are here, too -- including a red-head
drummer with the body of a linebacker. RYAN CONNOLLY.
Andrew looks up -- in time to see Ryan with a GIRL by the
doorway. Ryan’s girlfriend is gorgeous -- tall, all curves.
Ryan lets his hand slide down her shoulder. Andrew watches...
The GIRL waves bye to Ryan as he heads in. He’s all macho
confidence.
TRUMPETER
My man Ry! Shit, how you feeling?
RYAN
Stitched up at last, dude.
TRUMPETER
Things were hurting with Neiman on the kit--
Ryan taps him to stop. Andrew is within earshot -- and has
heard. Beat. Ryan moves over to Andrew, sits down at the set.
RYAN
You have a good weekend, bro?
ANDREW
Yeah. Definitely. Really good.
RYAN
Don’t worry about Greg. He’s a dick.
Andrew nods. Admires Ryan. Seems more diminutive now than ever.
RYAN (CONT’D)
You been practicing?
ANDREW
Yeah. All the time.
RYAN
My man.
Then -- the Nassau Band conductor appears: RON KRAMER.
MR. KRAMER
Morning, fellas. “Billie’s In”, bar 8.
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Mr. Kramer CLAPS OFF in time -- and the band begins playing
FIRST NASSAU BAND REHEARSAL CHART. Mid-tempo. Ryan’s
confident, in control. Andrew turns his pages, watches...
MR. KRAMER (CONT’D)
Nice, Ryan... Woah, trumpets.
TRUMPETER #2 **
Yeah, yeah - sorry about that one. **
MR. KRAMER **
Just brass again. **
To Ryan’s left, a whisper-- **
TRUMPETER
Ry...
Ryan turns. Visible as a silhouette through the frosted glass
of the main door...is FLETCHER. Andrew turns and looks as
well. Tenses up.
Fletcher lingers outside. Then he walks on. Ryan turns back to
the Trumpeter.
RYAN
Not today.
Ratings
Scene 5 - Facing Reality
Rehearsal has ended. The MUSICIANS have just filed out --
except for Andrew, who’s hanging back...
MR. KRAMER
Are you learning from Ryan?
ANDREW
Yeah... He’s been great to me.
MR. KRAMER
Last week was a little overwhelming for you?
ANDREW
(is that a question?)
Yeah...
(then, hesitant,)
I wonder...what you think about my progress?
MR. KRAMER
Your progress?
ANDREW
I just... I’m...practicing hard and...
Pink (9/10/2013) 8A
MR. KRAMER
Andrew -- you’ve got a good attitude. You
always arrive on time.
Andrew nods. Waiting.
Pink (9/10/2013) 9
MR. KRAMER (CONT’D)
Yeah. Ok?
ANDREW
(beat)
Ok... Do you think... I know Fletcher’s
looking for players...for Studio Band...
MR. KRAMER
Yeah, Andrew... Lincoln Center looks out
for Fletcher’s top players. If it weren’t
for Ryan’s injury he’d have been in Studio
Band last year. He’s a natural player.
Andrew takes this in. Nods.
ANDREW
Ok.
MR. KRAMER
(this is awkward)
Look... I’m going to be candid. 90% of
our players will never make it into the
Lincoln Centers or the Collectives. The
question is -- who’s in that 10%?
A beat.
MR. KRAMER (CONT’D)
So I’d practice. You could start a rock
band.
Andrew takes it in. The implication is clear.
He turns -- and glimpses a poster on the wall: a DRUMMER
throwing a stick in the air mid-solo. Buff. Confident. The
opposite of him.
ANDREW
I...I have one more question...
(Kramer looks at him)
...Do you know what the process for
transferring is?
Pink (9/10/2013) 10
10 OMITTED 10
Ratings
Scene 6 - Caught in the Spotlight
Andrew walks down a hallway. A piece of paper in his hand.
It’s a TRANSFER APPLICATION...
He notices as two attractive female students pass him. **
STUDENT #1 **
At least you didn’t embarrass yourself **
like what’s-his-face. **
STUDENT #2 **
That was truly pathetic. **
As he continues walking, he hears music. Stops. Approaches. **
Looks.
11A INT. GEHRING HALL - STUDIO BAND ROOM - CONTINUOUS 11A
Through the pane of glass, Andrew can see a FULL ORCHESTRA.
Everyone looks older than in Nassau. More focused. All eyes
glued on Fletcher as he assumes his position...
Fletcher’s right arm moves, just a hair, and the band starts:
fast, dazzling. Andrew watches -- in awe. The band’s playing
STUDIO BAND EAVESDROP CHART, and the sound is so full, so
precise, so commanding. Nothing like Nassau.
And suddenly -- Fletcher TURNS AROUND. His eyes meet Andrew’s.
Andrew ducks out of view -- shit --
-- and hurries away.
Ratings
Scene 7 - Pushing Limits
Andrew practices like mad, trying to nail a double-time swing.
To his left a digital METRONOME blinks. The time set: 380.
Andrew stops. Resets the metronome. 390. Resumes playing.
Tries to keep up. Resets the metronome to 400. Can’t keep up
at all now. Struggling, sweating, hands blistering, when --
CRAAACK. Andrew’s right drumstick SNAPS IN HALF.
He stops. Spent. Looks at his hand, sweating and throbbing from
the blisters.
Looks back at the metronome. Still beeping away. He turns it off.
Glances up ahead at a poster -- of BUDDY RICH hunched over a drum
Pink (9/10/2013) 10A
kit, mid-solo -- tacked to the wall.
Stares at the image. Then looks down -- at the PAPERWORK we
saw earlier. The heading: “APPLICATION TO TRANSFER”...
Pink (9/10/2013) 11
12A INT. ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - MOMENTS LATER 12A
A CD slides into a player. The title: “BUDDY RICH: BIRDLAND”.
Andrew skips ahead to the third track. Immediately, drums
start. Another double-time swing. Only this one is insanely
fast. Even faster than Andrew was going.
Andrew listens. Looks at his drum kit. Thinks. Makes a decision.
Turns the CD off.
Ratings
Scene 8 - A Nervous Proposal
The same movie theater as before. Andrew marches in. Has one
goal and one goal only now.
Walks up to Nicole at the counter. Takes a deep breath, and--
ANDREW
Hey -- look -- I -- I don’t know how to
say this -- I see you in here all the
time and -- I was just wondering --
(stops, collects himself,)
-- if you’d want to get a bite to eat
with me.
Beat. Nicole just looks at him. Andrew can’t believe he said what
he just said. Feels like a creep. Instantly regrets it.
NICOLE
Please get away from me.
ANDREW
I’m so sorry, I -- I didn’t mea--
NICOLE
I’m kidding.
She smiles. Beat. Andrew manages a nervous laugh.
NICOLE (CONT’D)
That your dad you always come in with?
ANDREW
(discombobulated, trying to keep up--)
Kind of bobs up and down when he walks?
That’s him.
NICOLE
(laughs; then,)
Andrew, right? I’m Nicole.
ANDREW
Nice to meet you, Nicole...
Pink (9/10/2013) 12
NICOLE
Monday I get off at seven.
ANDREW
Monday. Ok. Great. I’ll be here Monday.
A moment -- an awkward silence -- then Andrew turns -- and,
in a daze, realizing what’s just happened, his spirits
suddenly starting to soar -- he glides off.
Ratings
Scene 9 - The Crossroads of Ambition
The next morning. Andrew, still riding high, is seated in a
lobby outside the DEAN’s OFFICE. In his hand -- a FILLED-OUT
TRANSFER APPLICATION.
ASSISTANT
Andrew Neiman?
(Andrew turns)
Dr. Fletcher would like to see you.
ANDREW
Oh. Ok...
Andrew’s thoughts are elsewhere. Distracted -- not sure what
this is about but doesn’t really care -- he dutifully follows...
15 INT. GEHRING HALL - FLETCHER’S OFFICE - DAY 15
BLACK. We hear knocking.
FLETCHER (O.S.)
Come in.
A door opens -- the black gives way -- and we see, seated at
a polished mahogany desk, Fletcher. He looks as imposing --
and as well-dressed -- as ever.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Hey, Andrew! I guess Sophie found you?
Andrew is taken aback. Fletcher remembers his first name?
ANDREW
Yes... I’m... I--
FLETCHER
Come in, come in, close the door...
Fletcher rises to greet Andrew, as Andrew closes the door.
Pink (9/10/2013) 13
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
I like to chat with students coming in
and going out. I hear you’re going out?
Andrew looks surprised by the warmth in Fletcher’s voice.
ANDREW
Yes. Transferring. To Columbia.
FLETCHER
Terrific. Columbia’s a terrific school.
Did something precipitate this?
ANDREW
I just decided to...
(not sure how to say it)
...to try out some other things. Not focus
only on drums. You know?
Beat. Fletcher looks at him. Is he upset? Dismayed?
FLETCHER
Bravo.
(as he starts to head back
toward his desk--)
Too many students clamp down on their
“pursuits” like leeches.
(sits atop his desk)
Hobbies they picked up in their teens,
and for what? Take a seat.
ANDREW
(starts heading to a couch)
Uh... Yeah.. I mean, I --
(passes by a “1st Place Prize”
plaque on a coffee-table)
-- I was a little younger than my teens
when I started drums, but--
FLETCHER
What were you then? Twelve?
ANDREW
Six.
FLETCHER
Oh. Well, kids start swimming when they’re
six, doesn’t mean they’re Michael Phelps.
It’s a hobby, never anything you consider
going all the way with. Am I right?
ANDREW
Definitely. I mean -- well -- for a time,
I thought I’d go all the way -- but, yeah--
Pink (9/10/2013) 14
FLETCHER
Well, kids want anything. I wanted to be
a nanny. Thank God those I trusted talked
me out of it. Good to listen to advice.
ANDREW
Yes, I’ve done that, you’re right, it’s--
FLETCHER
--good to get outside perspectives. So
long as they don’t have ulterior motives,
I’d listen to what the people you trust
tell you.
Andrew nods. But that phrase seems to echo. Ulterior motives...
Fletcher hops down from the desk and makes his way to the
couch.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
So what’s the passion you’ve chosen to
pursue at Columbia, then?
ANDREW
(as Fletcher takes a seat next to
him)
Oh... Well... I’m not...not really sure.
It’s not a specific thing I have in mind.
FLETCHER
Ah. Well that’s ok. You’re young. Most
people, it takes years for them to find
their calling. My father, for instance --
he had no idea what he wanted at your age.
He tried a lot of things, a little bit of
this, a little bit of that. Took him years
before he realized his dream was
insurance. That was his passion. The
cubicle, the coffee breaks, the dry wall.
He lets this simmer for a beat. Then--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
I’m sure you’ll find your calling as well.
He rises back up. A moment of silence.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
I guess that’s it, then. Any questions?
He notices Andrew looking at a photo on the wall.
Pink (9/10/2013) 15
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
That’s Sean Casey. Graduated three years
ago. Now he’s first trumpet at Lincoln
Center.
(heading toward the door--)
He came a long way.
ANDREW
(trying to collect his thoughts
as he rises)
...So -- are you -- still looking for
Studio Band players then...?
FLETCHER
(turning around to face Andrew)
Some, yes. But it’s no cakewalk. Most kids
here can’t last. Laszlo Polgar, Hungarian
psychologist, declares in 1967 that talent
is all about conditioning. Says he can make
his kids, whoever they are, the best in the
world at something. What that something is
he’ll decide. He’s a lousy chess player but
he picks chess because it’s objective. Goes
around looking for a wife, finds one who
agrees to his experiment. Starts having
kids: Susan, Sofia and Judit. Gets them
practicing before they can even talk. These
weren’t kids who were sitting and smelling
the roses. These were kids who were going
to leave an actual mark on the world. Who
was the top female player by 1984? Susan.
Who played the eight-straight-wins “Miracle
of Rome” in 1989? Sofia. And who is
universally considered the greatest female
chess player of all time? Judit.
He takes a breath. Smiles. We linger for a second on Andrew,
standing in place, taking it all in. Andrew’s eyes quickly
drift to the photos behind Fletcher -- the images on the
walls... The Studio Band with Wynton Marsalis. Fletcher at the
JVC Jazz Festival. One jazz luminary after another...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Which is why I’m sure you’ll be great at
whatever you set your mind to at Columbia.
(puts his arm around Andrew, starts
escorting him toward the door--)
It was a pleasure chatting, Andrew, now--
ANDREW
I just -- one thing first -- I mean -- I’m
not entirely sure I’m transferring yet...
Pink (9/10/2013) 16
FLETCHER
Well that’s worrisome. I’m sure you had
good reason to make your decision.
ANDREW
I -- just might give it some more time--
FLETCHER
No need to do that. First instincts are best.
ANDREW
My first instinct...is not to transfer...
FLETCHER
I’m not sure your first instinct is
right, then. Why don’t you give it some
more thought, and in the meantime...
(reaches the door; about to close--)
...make sure your double-time swing is
ready by Monday’s Nassau Band.
He closes the door. WE LINGER on Andrew. A spark has been lit.
Ratings
Scene 10 - The Crucible of Talent
Andrew plays the drums with Nassau Band. Keeps missing hits.
The song’s SECOND NASSAU BAND REHEARSAL CHART (ANDREW).
MR. KRAMER
Alright, that’s... That’s enough of that.
Back to just the core, please.
MUSICIANS trade places. As Ryan trades with Andrew, he turns--
RYAN
Dude -- what’ve you been practicing?
Just then, the DOOR SWINGS OPEN -- and in steps FLETCHER. All
eyes go to him. All talking ceases. Absolute silence, save for
Fletcher’s footsteps. Andrew waits. Heart pounding...
Fletcher arrives at the head of the band -- as Kramer silently
and meekly retreats. Fletcher props up the music stand to his
height, looks down at the sheet music, runs his finger down it
to find the spot he wants... Andrew, like all the other
players, is dead-still, eyes glued on Fletcher’s every move...
Fletcher looks up, surveys the band with his eyes. Then, raising
his hand--
FLETCHER
Down the line.
Pink (9/10/2013) 17
Instruments SNAP upward with military precision. No one wants
to miss a beat.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Trumpets. Bars 36 to 38. One-two--
The TRUMPETER on the right starts playing. Five notes before
Fletcher cuts him off with the slightest flick of his hand.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Next. One-two--
(the SECOND TRUMPETER misses
his cue)
Next. One-two--
Nothing. Fletcher looks up. There are no more trumpeters. He
looks over at Kramer: “Are you serious?”
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Trombone. Bars 21 to 23. Four-and--
(TROMBONIST is scrambling to
find the right page)
Saxes. 48 to 50. “And” of one. And-one--
(ALTO SAX gets through one bar)
Next--
Before he even counts off, he notices the TENOR SAX’s
fingering -- all he needs to know.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Drums.
We get a split-second glimpse of the TENOR SAXOPHONIST,
wondering what just happened -- before we CUT to the drums,
Ryan at the ready.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Double-time swing.
Ryan takes a breath. Fletcher CLAPS him off. Ryan plays.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Thank you. You. Behind.
Palms sweaty, Andrew takes Ryan’s place. Trains his eyes on
Fletcher’s hands. Deep breath. Fletcher CLAPS, and Andrew begins
-- trying to get the motion right, trying to stay in time--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Thank you. Bass. Five bars of “Donna
Lee”.
We STAY ON Andrew as the BASSIST plays; Andrew slides off the
drums and back to his regular seat.
Pink (9/10/2013) 18
FLETCHER (O.S.) (CONT’D)
(to Bassist)
Thank you.
We CUT back to Fletcher. He looks over the band once more. We
see the MUSICIANS’ faces -- scared, but hopeful. Then--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Drums. Come with me.
Ryan’s heart starts speeding. His excitement visible, he--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Other drums.
Ryan freezes. Andrew is stuck in place for a moment. Then,
eyes wide -- is this really happening? -- he rises and
approaches the doorway... There, Fletcher hands him an ORANGE
PAPER SLIP.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Give this to Admin for rescheduling. We
meet 6am to 1pm every day. Room B16.
And with that, he EXITS.
In a daze, Andrew drifts back toward the band. Kramer looks at
him. Andrew answers the look with a defiant smile. Vindicated.
MR. KRAMER
Ok fellas, let’s...let’s take it back from
the top..
He claps off. The band plays SECOND NASSAU BAND REHEARSAL CHART
(RYAN). Andrew pretends not to notice Ryan’s eyeing him in
shock. Just sits down, lets it all settle.
And -- ever so slowly -- Andrew’s face dissolves into a GRIN...
Ratings
Scene 11 - Shared Vulnerabilities
NICOLE
This is a nice place.
We’re at a cheap pizzeria now. Nicole is seated, two half-
eaten slices of pepperoni in front of her. An old jazz track
is playing -- PIZZERIA CHART.
Seated across from Nicole is Andrew -- echoes of the earlier
grin still on his face, a brightness in his eyes.
ANDREW
Yeah, I come here a lot.
Pink (9/10/2013) 19
Beat. Then -- clicking back to reality -- this is not a nice
place, did I fuck up? --
ANDREW (CONT’D)
They have good music, so I -- it’s not
just the food...
(points, re: the tune)
This is Jackie Hill, “When I Wake”, July
17th, 1938, Bob Ellis on drums.
NICOLE
Are you trying to impress me?
ANDREW
No -- sorry -- I didn’t mean -- they have
like -- ten songs they loop through.
They’re always playing the same thing.
NICOLE
And you know the dates to all ten?
ANDREW
...Yeah.
Nicole smiles. A moment. Andrew fidgets. Nervous.
NICOLE
You know every time I saw you in the
theater you always had your eyes pointed
to the floor.
ANDREW
Really?
NICOLE
Like you were fascinated by the soda
stains on the carpet.
ANDREW
My dad tells me I have a problem making
eye contact.
NICOLE
My parents like to criticize me too. When
I was growing up my mom told me my chin
was too big and that that’s why guys
wouldn’t like me. ‘Cause my dad had
cursed me with a big chin.
ANDREW
What?
Pink (9/10/2013) 20
NICOLE
Yeah, it’s -- look --
(she turns, points her chin up)
It’s Jay Leno.
Andrew laughs. Nicole looks prettier to him than ever.
NICOLE (CONT’D)
She keeps asking me if I have a boyfriend
yet, and then blames it on the chin.
ANDREW
She sounds insane.
NICOLE
She wanted to be an actress when she was
my age.
ANDREW
And you? What do you do?
NICOLE
Other than serving you popcorn?
ANDREW
What do you want to do with your life?
NICOLE
(thinks; wasn’t prepared for
a question that direct)
I go to Fordham... I’m not sure...
ANDREW
What’s your major?
NICOLE
I don’t have one yet.
ANDREW
Well what did you come here to study?
NICOLE
I just came here for a general education.
ANDREW
Right, but you picked Fordham for a
reason. Why Fordham?
Pink (9/10/2013) 21
NICOLE
I applied to a bunch of schools, Fordham
let me in. Why’d you pick Shaffer?
ANDREW
It’s the best music school in the country.
Beat. Nicole shrugs.
NICOLE
Well Fordham was Fordham.
A moment.
NICOLE (CONT’D)
I don’t love it there to be honest...
ANDREW
No?
NICOLE
I mean -- the people there... I don’t
think they like me. I’m from Arizona and --
I don’t know, I think they see it in me.
A beat. Andrew thinks about this, then--
ANDREW
I don’t like the people at Shaffer
either. But I think it just takes time...
Things change, you know.
NICOLE
I know.
(then, opening up more than
she expected, more fragility
in her voice now)
I feel homesick sometimes. You know? I
hate how people in college pretend they
never feel homesick. Or maybe I’m
literally the only one, but... I don’t
think so.
A moment of silence. She looks at Andrew. He looks at her.
ANDREW
I know exactly how you feel.
(then, he smiles)
I still go to the movies with my dad.
Nicole nods. Smiles back. Andrew said it playfully, but she
can tell he also meant it to reach out to her.
Pink (9/10/2013) 22
She scoots her legs. Her knee happens to touch Andrew’s. He
notices. So does she. They look at each other.
NICOLE
...I like this song.
ANDREW
Yeah -- this part is great -- here --
Nicole smiles. Looks at Andrew. He looks back. Their knees
stay still, just barely touching.
And, on this moment, just as the song ends --
Ratings
Scene 12 - The Early Riser's Rush
Andrew’s in bed -- fast asleep. Seems stress-free for once --
his body totally relaxed, his mind deep in a dream. His arm
hits his night stand -- WAKING him up. His eyes open. He looks
at his alarm clock. It reads: 5:17.
ANDREW
Shi--
18A INT. DORMITORY - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER 18A
Andrew bursts out of his room and RACES down the hall.
19 EXT. DORMITORY - NEW YORK STREET - MOMENTS LATER 19
Andrew DASHES across the green. It’s still pitch black outside,
the city cold and menacing.
20 INT. GEHRING HALL - STAIRWELL - CONTINUOUS 20
Andrew busts inside, runs down the STAIRWELL -- and SLIPS.
Falls full-throttle down a whole flight, hands smacking
against the tile. Rises, sore, and keeps running.
20A INT. GEHRING HALL - BASEMENT HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS 20A
Andrew reaches ROOM B16 -- pushes open the doors--
Pink (9/10/2013) 23
20B INT. GEHRING HALL - STUDIO BAND ROOM - CONTINUOUS 20B
--only to find the room EMPTY. No one is there. Andrew checks
the time on his phone: 5:33. Did he miss them...?
20C INT. GEHRING HALL - BASEMENT HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS 20C
Andrew steps back into the hallway. Spots a SIGN-UP SHEET at
the door. Looks at it. Sees the words “STUDIO BAND” scrolled
down for each day. The listed start-time: “9AM”.
Ratings
Scene 13 - The Pressure of Perfection
Andrew sits on the drum throne. A clock on the wall reads:
8:57. He’s dozed off, is out cold. His hand, cut from his fall
down the stairs, rests against the snare drum.
Suddenly -- the DOOR opens --
SAXOPHONIST #2
She told me to pull out, then wet the
whole fucking bed.
SAXOPHONIST
No, serious??
Andrew shoots up. Surges to his feet. The SAXOPHONISTS don’t pay
him any attention. They’re big guys, macho. Another DOOR opens.
MORE PLAYERS...
These are the CORE MEMBERS of Studio Band -- Shaffer’s cream
of the crop. Mostly third- and fourth-years. All male. A few
ALTERNATES follow, first- and second-years.
Andrew watches as the PLAYERS buzz their mouthpieces, whip
open their folders, pull out their instruments. A flurry of
chatter and activity...
One of the CORE MEMBERS heads to the drums: CARL TANNER, 22.
Andrew sees him, and--
CARL
You the new alternate?
ANDREW
Yeah -- I’m -- Andrew Neiman...
CARL
(couldn’t care less about his name)
Tune the set to a B-flat. Then you’ll
turn my pages during rehearsal.
Pink (9/10/2013) 24
Andrew, nervous, sits back down at the drums and--
ANDREW
(to the PIANIST)
Excuse me?
(no answer)
Um -- sorry -- excuse me?
(the Pianist looks at him)
Could I have a B-flat please?
The Pianist plays a B-flat. Andrew tunes. By now the room is
filled: TRUMPETS, TROMBONES, SAXES.
ANDREW (CONT’D)
(to the Pianist)
Excuse me -- could I maybe have ano--
But Carl has already risen. Ushers Andrew back up. Sits down at
the drums, as Andrew sits down by the music stand.
SAXOPHONIST #2
Milk the cunt!!
The PIANIST plays a middle C, and the players start tuning to
it.
Andrew watches, listens -- the sea of sounds building, the clock
on the wall ticking, until -- it hits 9:00.
THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN. Fletcher marches in, carrying a stack
of sheet music. Sudden tension -- and utter silence.
Fletcher sets his music down. Stares at the band. Dead-serious,
silently judging. A moment passes...
Then -- he SMILES. He’s switched all of a sudden to warm and
cuddly.
FLETCHER
We’ve got a squeaker today, people.
Neiman.
(he pronounces it “Neeman”)
Nineteen years old. Isn’t he cute?
Laughs throughout the room. We can overhear a few snickers:
PLAYERS (O.S.)
Neee-man...
Andrew looks. Fletcher keeps his smile up... And then--
FLETCHER
Alright, gang. “Whiplash”.
Pink (9/10/2013) 25
The players get out the chart. Andrew catches a glimpse --
a messy clutter of notes and time signatures...
Fletcher raises his hand. Total silence. Then -- the
slightest move of Fletcher’s finger, and the band begins
WHIPLASH STUDIO BAND REHEARSAL CARL #1. The chart’s named
“Whiplash” for a reason. It’s fast, frenetic, 7/4 time. This
fast, with this many polyrhythms, it’s impossibly hard.
CARL
Page... Page...
Andrew turns the page. Carl glares. Shouldn’t have had to tell
him to turn it. But Andrew can’t follow. The band’s too fast..
FLETCHER
Stop. You. Barker.
(pointing to the THIRD
TRUMPETER’S horn)
That is not your boyfriend’s dick. Do not
come early. Moving ahead. Bar 93.
The players flip their sheet music. Andrew catches a glimpse
of a TROMBONIST ejecting the spit from his horn. A puddle has
formed by his feet.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Five-six-seven--
The band plays WHIPLASH STUDIO BAND REHEARSAL CARL #2.
Intense, visceral. Fletcher paces back and forth, eyeing
players as they play. He’s got fox’s ears, hawk’s eyes. Every
sinew of his body is focused. Andrew watches, awed, scared,
completely overwhelmed.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Stop!
The band comes to a halt.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Now this one upsets me. We have an out-of-
tune player. Before I go any further, does
that player want to do the right thing and
reveal himself?
(silence)
Ok. Maybe a bug flew in my ear. Bar 115.
Five-six-and--
He cues the BAND with his hand, then cuts them off.
Pink (9/10/2013) 26
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
No, I guess my ears are clean because we
most definitely have an out-of-tune
player. Whoever it is, this is your last
chance.
(paces back and forth, slowly)
Either you know you are out of tune, and
are therefore deliberately sabotaging my
band; or you do not know you’re out of
tune -- which I’m afraid is even worse.
Nothing. The players avert his gaze. All terrified...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Reeds. Five-six-and--
(they play, he cuts them off)
Bones. Five-six-and--
(they play, he cuts them off)
Ahhhh, he’s here.
Silence. He eyes the TROMBONISTS. Lands on one, METZ. Overweight.
Been picked on his whole life.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Tell me it’s not you, Elmer Fudd.
Metz sits there, trembling. On the brink of tears.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
It’s ok. Play.
(Metz does so, Fletcher stops
him, leans in, whispers--)
Do you think you’re out of tune?
Metz, terrified, looks down at the floor.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
There’s no fucking Mars Bar down there.
Look at me. Do you think you’re out of
tune?
METZ
...Y--yes...
FLETCHER
Then why the FUCK didn’t you say so?!?
Silence. It’s the first time we’ve heard Fletcher really SHOUT.
His voice is booming, louder than one would have thought. Then--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
I’ve been carrying your fat ass for too
long, Metz.
(MORE)
Pink (9/10/2013) 27
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
I will not let you cost us a competition
because your mind’s on a fucking Happy
Meal and not on pitch. Stein,
congratulations, you are now fourth-chair
trombone. Metz -- get the fuck out.
Still trembling, tears bubbling out, Metz picks up his
trombone and walks to the door. Andrew watches -- shocked.
Once the door closes--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
For the record, Metz was not out of tune.
You were, Wallach. But Metz didn’t know
it. And that’s bad enough.
And then -- he looks straight at Andrew.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Alright, take ten. When we get back --
the squeaker’s on.
Andrew’s face goes ghost-white.
Ratings
Scene 14 - Encouragement in the Shadows
Andrew sits in the corner of the hall, the “WHIPLASH” sheet
music in his hand. Tries desperately to count the beats...
ANDREW
Five-six-seven... Six-two-two-five...
He scribbles on the page, trying to compute the patterns: “7/9
+ 7/4 = 7/18”. “1/64 X 7/9”... We see feet pass by, and hear--
STUDIO CORE MEMBER #1 **
Stein won’t last a week. He doesn’t have
the lips. **
STUDIO CORE MEMBER #2 **
Fudd lasted longer than he should have...
STUDIO CORE MEMBER #3 **
Maybe if he spent half the time **
practicing that he does to polishing off **
cheeseburgers... **
STUDIO CORE MEMBER #4 **
(laughs) **
You got that right. **
Andrew’s eyes follow the PLAYERS. They’re tall, built. Next
to them Andrew feels like a scrawny teen.
Pink (9/10/2013) 27A
Just then -- a PAIR OF DRESS SHOES reach Andrew’s side.
Startled, Andrew looks up. It’s Fletcher. Andrew scrambles to
his feet, as Fletcher puts his arm over him and -- earnestly,
back to the warm tone he displayed days ago --
FLETCHER
(walking Andrew down the hall)
Listen, Andrew. I know what you saw in
there is worrying you, but there’s a big
difference. This is your first day.
(MORE)
Pink (9/10/2013) 28
FLETCHER (CONT'D)
Metz had been dragging mud for two years.
(comes to a stop, looks straight
at Andrew--)
Besides, you’re no Elmer Fudd. This is a
huge opportunity for you. You know that,
right?
ANDREW
Yeah...
FLETCHER
Your parents musicians?
ANDREW
No, not really...
FLETCHER
What do they do?
ANDREW
Well, my dad’s a writer.
FLETCHER
What’s he written?
ANDREW
Well he’s...I guess he’s mainly a
teacher.
FLETCHER
College?
ANDREW
Pennington High.
FLETCHER
And your mom?
ANDREW
I don’t know... She left when I was a
baby.
FLETCHER
So no musicians in the family.
ANDREW
...No, I guess not...
FLETCHER
Well, you’ve just got to listen to the
greats then. Jo Jones, Buddy Rich. You
know, Charlie Parker became “Bird”
because Jones threw a cymbal at his head.
(MORE)
Pink (9/10/2013) 28A
FLETCHER (CONT'D)
You see what I’m saying?
(Andrew nods)
(MORE)
Pink (9/10/2013) 29
FLETCHER (CONT'D)
The key is -- relax. Don’t worry about
the numbers or what the other players
think. You’re here for a reason. You
believe that, don’t you?
(Andrew nods)
Say it.
ANDREW
I’m here for a reason.
FLETCHER
Good.
A beat. And, finally--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Now have fun.
He pats Andrew on the back -- then promptly walks off.
Ratings
Scene 15 - The Breaking Point
The players are taking their seats. Slowly, Andrew walks in.
Eyes the DRUMS. Takes a deep breath. He can do this...
Carl is seated in the alternate’s seat. The drum throne is
empty. Just waiting for Andrew...
Andrew sits down. WE MOVE IN CLOSER ON HIM -- as he adjusts
his seat, lays his music out, gets his sticks ready...
FLETCHER (O.S.)
Alright, gang.
Andrew looks up. Fletcher has just entered.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
“Whiplash”.
Fletcher eyes Andrew.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Neiman -- just do your best.
Andrew nods. Looks at the music. Counts in his head. He’s
ready...
Fletcher CLAPS the band off. WHIPLASH STUDIO BAND REHEARSAL
ANDREW #1, mid-tempo, far easier than before. Andrew’s doing
well. Fletcher nods, smiles--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Let’s see some fills.
Pink (9/10/2013) 30
Andrew fills, rolling down the toms. Fletcher grins.
Andrew, seeing Fletcher’s grin, can’t help but smile. Getting
into it now. The whole BAND building, his drumming growing more
intense. He fills again.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Snap! We’ve got Buddy Rich here.
Andrew grins. Fills again. Accenting, playing a counter-rhythm.
When he trips up. Comes in a hair late.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
(waving the band to stop)
Ok, little trouble there. No problem.
Let’s pick it up from 17.
Fletcher claps. Andrew plays WHIPLASH STUDIO BAND
REHEARSAL ANDREW #2. Fletcher waves him to stop again.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Not my tempo. Ok?
Fletcher claps again. Then another wave for Andrew to stop.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Downbeat on 18. Ok?
He’s still soft, calm, warm. He claps again. Then, stopping--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
The “and” of 4. Bar 17, the “and” of 4.
He claps off. Stops Andrew again, only seconds later.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
17, the “and” of 4. Ok? And you’re
rushing a little...
Andrew nods. Getting nervous now... Fletcher claps again. Stops
again.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Not quite my tempo. All good, here we go.
He’s about to clap off when, out of nerves, Andrew hits his
bass drum early.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
No -- ready?
Fletcher claps. Stops Andrew yet again.
Pink (9/10/2013) 31
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Sorry, you’re -- you’re dragging a little
now.
(Andrew tries to pull his seat
up, getting anxious, flustered)
All set?
Andrew nods. Get it together... Fletcher claps. Stops.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
You’re rushing.
Claps again. Stops again.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Dragging.
Claps again. Andrew plays WHIPLASH STUDIO BAND REHEARSAL
ANDREW #3, expecting another stop -- but it doesn’t come.
Fletcher nods, as though now satisfied, then slowly turns
around. Puts his hand on a spare chair. Looks like he’s
about to sit down, when...
...like a flash of lightning he WHIPS up the chair and HURLS
it straight at Andrew’s head.
Andrew DUCKS, as the chair CATCHES the top of the bass drum,
almost toppling it over. An EAR-PIERCING CLANG OF CYMBALS, as
Andrew’s sticks go flying and the chair hits the floor.
Then -- total silence in the room. Andrew is shell-shocked,
beyond shaken, what in the fuck just happened???...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
(as though discussing the weather)
Why do you suppose I just hurled a chair
at your head, Neiman?
ANDREW
I... I... I d--don’t kn--
FLETCHER
Yes, you do.
ANDREW
I... The...the tempo...
FLETCHER
Were you rushing or were you dragging?
ANDREW
I... I don’t... I don’t--
Pink (9/10/2013) 32
Fletcher BOUNDS up to him, almost RUNNING -- suddenly beast-
like, terrifying, veins set to BURST--
FLETCHER
Start counting.
ANDREW
(like a deer in the headlights)
...Five-six-seven--
FLETCHER
In four, damnit!
ANDREW
One-two-three-four...
Fletcher SLAPS Andrew on his left cheek. Then--
FLETCHER
Keep counting!!
ANDREW
One-two--
(another slap)
--three--
(a third slap)
--four--
FLETCHER
Was I rushing or I was dragging?
ANDREW
I -- I don’t -- I don’t know--
FLETCHER
Start counting again.
ANDREW
One-two--
(a slap on his left cheek)
--three-four-o--
(another slap)
--ne-two-three--
FLETCHER
Was I rushing or was I dragging?
ANDREW
R--rushing...
FLETCHER
So you do know the difference! If you
dare to sabotage my band I will fuck you
like a pig.
(MORE)
Pink (9/10/2013) 33
FLETCHER (CONT'D)
Now are you a rusher, are you a dragger,
or are you going to be ON MY FUCKING
TIME?!?
This is a new Fletcher we’re seeing. An animal. But no one
but Andrew seems surprised--
ANDREW
I--I’m gonna be on your time...
FLETCHER
(flips over a new sheet of
music, points to the top)
What does this say?
ANDREW
260... Quarter note 260...
FLETCHER
Count a 260.
ANDREW
O-one-two-three-four...
FLETCHER
Jesus fucking Christ -- I didn’t know
they allowed retards into Shaffer! Do you
expect me to believe you can’t read
tempo? Can you even read music???
(points back to the music)
What the fuck is this?
ANDREW
A half-note...
FLETCHER
And this?
ANDREW
A--a dotted sixteenth...
FLETCHER
Sight-read this measure.
ANDREW
Bop-bop-ba-bop-ba--
FLETCHER
What are you, in a fucking a capella
group?? Play the goddamn set!!
Andrew plays the measure on the drums. Shaking, terrified...
Pink (9/10/2013) 34
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Now answer my question -- were you
rushing or were you dragging?
(because Andrew hesitates--)
ANSWER!!!!!
ANDREW
R--r--r--rushing...
FLETCHER
Dear God, is that a tear in your eye? Are
you one of those single-tear people? Do I
look like a double fucking rainbow to
you??
Andrew tries to hide his tear, mortified, wipes it, cowers--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
You must be upset. Are you upset??
ANDREW
N--no...
FLETCHER
Oh so you don’t give a shit about any of
this?
ANDREW
No, I -- I do give a sh--
FLETCHER
So are you upset? Yes or fucking no.
ANDREW
Yes...
FLETCHER
You are upset...
ANDREW
I am upset...
FLETCHER
Say it so the rest of the band can hear you.
ANDREW
I am upset...
FLETCHER
Louder.
ANDREW
I am upset!
Pink (9/10/2013) 35
FLETCHER
LOUDER!!!!!!
ANDREW
I am upset!!!
FLETCHER
You are a worthless friendless faggot-
lipped little piece of shit, whose Mommy
ran out on Daddy once she realized he
wasn’t Eugene O’Neill, and who’s now
weeping and slobbering over my drum kit
like a fifteen-year-old girl -- so for the
last father-fucking time, SAY IT LOUDER!!!
ANDREW
(tears pouring out now)
I AM UPSET!!!!!!
Then -- silence. Andrew hunches over the drum set, shaking,
face awash in tears. The other PLAYERS just stare...
FLETCHER
Carl...
Carl silently switches places with Andrew at the set.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Start practicing harder, Neiman.
(then, turning to the band,)
“Whiplash”. Once more from the top.
He claps the band off. As for Andrew, he just sits behind Carl --
dazed, red-faced, and utterly gutted.
His first day of Studio Band is over.
24 INT. GEHRING HALL - BASEMENT HALLWAY - DAY 24
Andrew exits. Trying to hold it all in. Then--
RYAN
Hey, bro.
He sees Ryan, a few yards away. Andrew hides his face, hides
the TEARS that are starting to spill out uncontrollably...
RYAN (CONT’D)
I never said congrats, man. Congra--
...and RUNS like hell.
Pink (9/10/2013) 36
Ratings
Scene 16 - Struggles of a Musician
Andrew is curled in the corner, crying. We linger here.
Then, his PHONE rings. He looks at it. Hesitates...
ANDREW
...Hello...?
JIM (O.S.)
You didn’t show.
And, finally, breaking down, can’t hold it in any longer--
ANDREW
He ripped me apart...
JIM (O.S.)
...Who?
(then,)
That asshole? You told me you were
transferring...
Andrew looks at his desk. There, atop a pile of papers, is
his TRANSFER APPLICATION. All filled out. Ready to go. Next
to it, a BUDDY RICH CD...
ANDREW
(almost to himself)
...I thought he liked my playing.
JIM (O.S.)
Who cares what he likes? Who is he to you?
When I started writing plenty of people
tried to put me down. You ignore them.
Andrew is silent. When I started writing...
Those words seem to have the opposite effect Jim intended.
ANDREW
When you started writing...
JIM (O.S.)
Why don’t you come home tonight?
ANDREW
No, I -- I have to practice...
JIM (O.S.)
No, you have to take it easy.
ANDREW
I need to go now...
Pink (9/10/2013) 37
JIM (O.S.)
Andrew--
ANDREW
I have to go... Sorry. I’ll call you
later.
He hangs up. Rises. Wipes his reddened eyes. And exits his dorm.
PRE-LAP KNOCKING --
FLETCHER (PRE-LAP)
Yes?
Ratings
Scene 17 - Driven to Excellence
Andrew steps into Fletcher’s office. Before Fletcher can say a
word--
ANDREW
I’m sorry to interrupt you. I just want to
tell you -- I’m so thankful to have been
accepted into Studio Band. And I’m going to
make sure I don’t disappoint you.
Fletcher, seated at his desk, just looks at Andrew. Andrew
nods, turns around. Marches back down the hall -- as PERCUSSION
begins... WE FOLLOW HIM, sticking close to his face, the
resolve now in his eyes. Something has changed.
PERCUSSION grows louder and, as we move, hurdles us back...
...to FLETCHER’S OFFICE. And to Fletcher, peeking out
through his doorway now. Fletcher smiles...
27 INT. ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - DAY 27
Andrew sits at his drum set, furiously practicing...
And just like that, moving fast, DRUM PATTERN FOR MONTAGE
carrying us, we’re--
28 INT. GEHRING HALL OFFICE ROOM - DAY 28
CLOSE ON Andrew’s hand, Xerox-ing pages of music. The titles:
“WHIPLASH”, “ALEPH NULL”, “EASY SIX”... Pages dense with notes...
Pink (9/10/2013) 38
29 EXT. NEW YORK STREET - SHAFFER CONSERVATORY - EVENING 29
Fletcher steps outside. It’s drizzling a bit. He slowly unfolds
an umbrella. Passes by a few other FACULTY MEMBERS on his way
to the sidewalk. Keeps walking. The DRUMMING continues...
30 INT. DORMITORY - ANDREW’S ROOM - EVENING 30
Andrew pulls the MATTRESS off his bed, drags it to the door
with his ALARM CLOCK. Heaves both out to the hallway...
Ratings
Scene 18 - Isolation and Obsession
Fletcher is seated, squished in between commuters, towered
over by other travelers. Looks diminutive in this setting...
32 EXT. NEW YORK SIDE STREET - NIGHT 32
Andrew marches down a side-street, wolfing down a McDonald’s
burger for dinner, earphones plugged into a METRONOME...
33 INT. ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - NIGHT 33
Andrew lifts a 50-lb weight with his right arm. Then a 75-lb.
Then picks his stick up and plays his double-time swing...
34 EXT. FLETCHER’S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT 34
Fletcher reaches a nondescript high-rise. With his folded-up
umbrella, his head hanging low, and the careful delicacy with
which he opens the door, he looks here like nothing so much
as a quiet, everyday man...
35 INT. ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - NIGHT 35
Andrew sleeps, earphones still in and metronome still on.
He’s on the MATTRESS he brought down from his dorm, the ALARM
CLOCK by his side. Next to it, a suitcase of clothes. Above,
the poster of Buddy Rich. It’s as though he’s moved in.
36 INT. FLETCHER’S APARTMENT - DINING ROOM - NIGHT 36
Fletcher sets the table for dinner. He has nice porcelain
plates, and a glass of red wine. But the meal? A frozen ready-
made steak and vegetables. On the wall, a photo. In it, a
younger Fletcher, and a WOMAN, and a NINE-YEAR-OLD GIRL. All
smiles...
Pink (9/10/2013) 39
37 INT. ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - MORNING 37
Andrew rises from the same mattress and slides onto his drum
seat. Starts playing, hands dotted with blisters, eyes crusty
with sand. The METRONOME still on...
...because it was never turned off.
CUT TO: Rides furiously, trying to beat his double-time
swing... The METRONOME reading 380... His muscles exhausted...
CUT TO: The METRONOME adjusted up to 390... Blisters tearing...
CUT TO: 400.. Hands bleeding now, blood smearing the sticks...
CUT TO: 405... The METRONOME going crazy now... The DRUMMING so
fast it’s a wash, a wall of sound, blood on the cymbal--
Ratings
Scene 19 - Melancholy and Competition
Silence. Fletcher finishes his meal. Puts the dishes away. Sits
down on a couch. Still alone.
The apartment, like his office, is small but elegant. Pictures
of icons on the walls. Monk. Holiday. Coltrane...
Fletcher reaches into a stack of LP’s: Chopin, Ravel... Pulls
one out with the most delicate touch, as though he were
handling a newborn. Sets it on a record player by his side.
A scratch, a hiss, and then --
-- FLETCHER’S SONG. Melancholy, lovelorn...
Fletcher just sits and listens, barely moves -- but you can
tell the music now playing means everything to him...
A moment, and then...
39 INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - STAGE - EVENING 39
Wild, feverish, absurdly fast BIG BAND JAZZ. We’re on-stage.
An orchestra about the size of Studio Band is in full swing,
reaching the end of RIVAL OVERBROOK BAND CHART.
The band FINISHES. No applause. A card:
First Competition of the Winter Season
Pink (9/10/2013) 40
Ratings
Scene 20 - Fletcher's Duality: Charm and Tyranny
LATER
The RIVAL PLAYERS quickly shuffle into the green room, past
Andrew, who watches, awed. A VOICE--
TECHNICIAN (O.S.)
Terry!
Andrew turns, glimpses a CORRIDOR through the doorway. Out in
the corridor, he sees a TECHNICIAN welcome Fletcher. In the
Technician’s arms, a FOUR-YEAR-OLD GIRL -- the Technician’s
daughter --
FLETCHER
Mike!
(and, to the girl,)
I’m so sorry, can I have your autograph?
(she blushes, shakes her head)
Are you playing an instrument yet?
TECHNICIAN
She started piano this week.
FLETCHER
Ooo, I need pianists!
(to the girl)
What do you say, you ready for Carnegie
Hall?
The Technician smiles again, looks at the girl. She hides her
face in his chest, embarrassed. He and Fletcher laugh.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Alright, alright.
(looking up at her dad)
Great to see you, Mike.
He leans in. They hug.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
See you after the show! Cheers!
He steps in, closes the door and addresses his PLAYERS, who
are busy sanding their hands, buzzing their lips, preparing:
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Ok, you fucking cocksuckers. E Dorian.
(the non-percussion players
lift their instruments)
Hurry the fuck up!! E Dorian.
(they play the Dorian scale)
Double it.
(they play it double-time)
(MORE)
Pink (9/10/2013) 41
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
G Lydian.
(they play the Lydian scale)
D Lydian Augmented.
(they play it)
Double it.
(they play it double-time)
Get your music. “Irene” only for Set 1.
Rhythm section out first. Tanner, the kit
is a tonal catastrophe. Get it in tune.
Rhythm and soloists, we’re augmenting the
dominant in measure 45. Everyone else
sharp the nine at bar 106. Got it?
(beat)
Now remember. Lincoln Center and its ilk
use these competitions to decide who they
want. And I am not about to have my
record in that department stained by a
bunch of sour-note flexible-tempo flatter-
than-their-girlfriends dipshits. And
another thing...
(he holds up a music folder)
...if I ever see one of these lying about
unattended to again, I swear to God I
will stop being so polite. That alright
with you, ladies?
PLAYERS
Yes.
A STAGEHAND approaches Fletcher, about to speak to him--
FLETCHER
(almost matter-of-fact)
Get the fuck out of my sight before I
demolish you.
The STAGE HAND nods, slinks away. Fletcher addresses his band--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Stage right. In order. Now.
(turns to the STAGE HAND --
who’s short and plump)
That means you too, Mini-Me.
Ratings
Scene 21 - Tension on Stage
Studio Band goes on-stage. Carl hurries to the DRUMS, tunes them.
CARL
Stick bag.
Andrew hands Carl the stick bag. Raises the music stand, props
the MUSIC FOLDER onto it--
Pink (9/10/2013) 42
CARL (CONT’D)
Hurry up.
ANNOUNCEMENT (V.O.)
The Shaffer Conservatory Studio Band...
CARL
Hurry up.
--and opens it to OVERBROOK COMPETITION CHART.
Fletcher appears. Raises his hand.
Everyone raises their instruments. Sits still. Waiting...
A cough is heard. Fletcher looks to his right. The players
stay still. No sign of whom it came from...
And then -- the slightest move of Fletcher’s index finger. So
subtle you need absolute focus to even notice it. That’s the
count-off. Miss it and you’ve blown it for everyone.
The BAND LAUNCHES. Quiet at first, then a big brassy sound.
Andrew watches Carl’s playing. Taps along on his knees.
CARL (CONT’D)
Page.
(Andrew snaps to it, turns the
page)
Damnit...
Still conducting, Fletcher approaches, whispers--
FLETCHER
Get it together, Tanner, I swear to God.
Heads back to his position, glaring at Carl. Pissed at Andrew,
Carl plays. The music BUILDS and we’re--
42 INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - GREEN ROOM - MOMENTS LATER 42
The performance over, the PLAYERS trickle BACKSTAGE.
CARL
(handing Andrew the folder, still
pissed)
Hold onto this for the second set.
Ratings
Scene 22 - The Missing Folder
Andrew plugs in for a can of Coke at a vending machine. Sets
his MUSIC FOLDER down on a chair. Keeps his eyes on it.
Pink (9/10/2013) 43
Then -- he overhears TALKING...
TRUMPETER #1
That’s what I heard...
Andrew turns. Creeps around the corner. Sees a trio of fellow
Studio Band PLAYERS, all core, chatting. They don’t see him...
TRUMPETER #2
Do you think he’ll make a complaint?
SAXOPHONIST
He wants a career. Long as Fletcher
stays, Fudd could get placed back in. Why
would he jeopardize that?
Andrew leans in to hear more, but before he can get a read--
CARL
I need to look at the music.
Carl is inches from his face. Andrew turns to the chair -- but
the folder is gone. His eyes go wide. No...
CARL (CONT’D)
Can I have it?
ANDREW CARL
Yeah, of course. I’m... Why isn’t it on you?
ANDREW CARL
It is, I-- I don’t see it.
ANDREW
(realizing he can’t hide this)
Fuck... I -- I think I fucked up...
CARL
No. You’re joking.
ANDREW
I swear to God, I had it on that chair--
CARL
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. How
could you be so fucking stupid?!?
ANDREW
(shaking, doesn’t know what to do)
A... A janitor... Maybe a janitor took--
Pink (9/10/2013) 44
CARL
Find the fucking chart!!
(turns, grabs a passing player--)
Neiman lost my folder.
SAXOPHONIST
Serious? Fletcher’s going to flip.
And just like that -- a VOICE booms down the hall--
FLETCHER (O.S.)
Drums!! Where the hell is Tanner??
Ratings
Scene 23 - High Stakes in the Green Room
Carl, terrified, Andrew behind him, addresses Fletcher--
CARL
We have an issue.
FLETCHER
Now is not the time.
CARL
I gave Neiman the folder. Neiman lost it.
Fletcher looks at Andrew. This is a joke, right?
FLETCHER
Neiman lost it.
CARL
Yes.
FLETCHER
The folder is YOUR fucking responsibility,
Tanner! You should have known not to give
Neiman your folder. You give a retard a
calculator and he’ll try to turn his TV on
with it. Now get your ass on-stage before I--
CARL
I can’t...
FLETCHER
Can’t what?
CARL
(doesn’t want to have to say this--)
I -- I can’t go on-stage... I don’t know
the charts by heart...
Pink (9/10/2013) 45
FLETCHER
Come again, darling?
CARL
You know this... I have -- I need the music,
my memory -- it’s, it needs visual cues--
FLETCHER
Visual cues??
CARL
--it’s a medical conditio--
FLETCHER
A medical condition? What are you,
Sanjay Gupta?? Play the fucking music!!
CARL
I can’t.
ANDREW
I can.
Fletcher and Carl both look at him. Neither was expecting him
to chime in. Andrew seems almost as surprised...
FLETCHER
You know “Whiplash” by heart?
ANDREW
Yes. Every measure. Every note.
Quickly realizing this is now his only option--
FLETCHER
You’d better pray your memory doesn’t
fail you, Neiman. And I hope you’ve
improved since last month’s rehearsal. I
am not about to start losing now.
Then, to the rest of the band--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
ON-FUCKING-STAGE!!
Ratings
Scene 24 - Under Pressure
The PLAYERS in their places. And there, on the set,
overwhelmed, trying to make this one shot count -- is Andrew.
ANNOUNCEMENT
With their second selection, the Shaffer
Conservatory Studio Band.
Pink (9/10/2013) 46
Fletcher faces the band. Zeroes in on Andrew. The wild-card.
Andrew rubs the sweat from his palms. This is it, this is
it... Adjusts the drums, tightens the snares. Carl sitting
behind him, burning holes with his eyes...
ANDREW
Five-two-two-six-two-two... Six-two-two...
Fletcher raises his arm. Hand suspended in air, finger waiting
to move... Andrew locks eyes on it. Heart pounding now...
And -- the finger moves. The band begins WHIPLASH OVERBROOK. A
surging 7/4. Andrew seems caught off-guard at first. Struggles
to keep up. Then reaches the right speed -- and stays there.
Fletcher keeps his eye on him, waiting for him to fuck up...
But Andrew doesn’t. He gets the first hit. Awkward, but in
time. Then the second hit -- also graceless, but on target.
And here comes the key moment. Fletcher turns his attention
to the trumpets -- and away from Andrew.
Barely believing his luck, Andrew plays another bar. Still
Fletcher doesn’t look at him. He’s focused on other players.
The number builds some more. And--
HEAD JUDGE (PRE-LAP)
First place. Shaffer Conservatory.
Ratings
Scene 25 - A Moment of Reflection
Applause. Fletcher summons his PLAYERS to the stage. The JUDGE
hands him the microphone. Fletcher takes it, hesitantly. His
band behind him -- including Andrew...
FLETCHER
I’m...supposed to say a few words but...
it’s these kids who should be speaking...
(turning to his band, earnestly)
You earned this, gang.
(beat, turns to the audience)
You know... When I was a kid, I saw God. Or
as some people know him, Charlie Parker. My
dad snuck me out of school so we could make
the drive into Chicago. It was a bar so he
had to sneak me in, hidden under his coat.
I didn’t know where in the hell I was. I
was all of seven. But then, by the time I
was on my third Shirley Temple, this nice-
looking man went up on-stage and started
playing. And I’ve never been the same
since.
(MORE)
Pink (9/10/2013) 47
FLETCHER (CONT'D)
(turning again to his band)
You guys mean the world to me, you know...
(back to the audience)
I think of them like they were my own kids.
Treat them that way, too. Treat ‘em like my
dad treated me. Meaning I terrorize them.
(laughter, and to the band,)
But it’s true, gang. You’re my family...
Something about how Fletcher says this suggests he means it...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Thank you. Thank you so much.
He wavers. Then steps aside and exits with his band.
46A INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - STAGE - WINGS - CONTINUOUS 46A
The STAGE HAND appears, carrying a red folder. Going up to Carl
and Andrew--
STAGE HAND
This yours? I think a janitor threw it in
the trash by accident.
Carl looks. It’s his MUSIC FOLDER. He looks behind at Andrew.
Ratings
Scene 26 - Tensions Rise in Rehearsal
A new day of rehearsal. Andrew enters the room, passes the piano--
PIANIST
Don’t you go taking my folder...
Andrew looks at him. Wary, he makes his way to the drums...and
to Carl. Reaches in to help Carl adjust the cymbals when--
CARL
Do not touch the set.
Andrew stops. Just then -- the DOOR OPENS, and Fletcher enters.
FLETCHER
“Cherokee”.
(looks at Carl)
What are you doing?
No answer. Carl, seated at the set, is visibly confused.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Core only today, I can’t waste time
with alternates.
Pink (9/10/2013) 48
Carl stays still. What...? Andrew looks just as shocked.
But Fletcher keeps on staring. He’s dead-serious. Finally, Carl
slides off, stunned, as Andrew takes his place... And, calmly
tossing this off even though he knows how much it hurts--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Tanner, make sure to turn Neiman’s pages.
Then he raises his hand. Andrew holds his sticks, still
shocked. This is as clear a verdict of his playing at
Overbrook as he’ll ever get.
He’s the new core drummer.
Fletcher CLAPS the band off, and before we hear any music we’re--
Ratings
Scene 27 - Avoidance on the Bus
Andrew watches a VIDEO on his iPhone... It’s 70’s footage and
audio of a grey-haired DRUMMER, a face we’ve seen before...
BUDDY RICH. Andrew smiles. Relaxed. Proud.
A bubble pops up: “1 NEW VOICEMAIL, 1 NEW TEXT MESSAGE”.
Andrew opens the text. The name on it: “NICOLE”. It reads:
“You free Thursday?”
Andrew is about to answer. Hesitates. Plays the voicemail.
CARL (O.S.)
Neiman... You lost that folder on purpose.
You knew I didn’t know the chart by
heart... Answer me... I’ve been core for
two years. I’ve been drumming since I was
three. I earned my spot you asshol--
Andrew hangs up. Looks back at the text message. Considering
again...
Then he just resumes watching the video.
Ratings
Scene 28 - Kitchen Tensions
Jim grabs a platter from the stove, Andrew by his side.
JIM
How’s it going in Studio Band?
Pink (9/10/2013) 49
ANDREW
Good. I think he likes me more now.
JIM
His opinion means a lot to you, doesn’t it?
Jim looks at Andrew. Almost accusatory. A moment...
ANDREW
Yeah...
JIM
Grab the shakers please.
Ratings
Scene 29 - Dinner Table Tensions
Seven people seated at the table: Jim and Andrew, Andrew’s
uncle FRANK, aunt EMMA, and 18-year-old cousin DUSTIN. To Jim--
UNCLE FRANK
Jimbo -- overcooked!
(to Emma, laughing re: the meat)
I can barely chew this thing.
Jim laughs along. Andrew watches. There’s an undercurrent to
the joking. The power dynamic between the brothers is clear.
UNCLE FRANK (CONT’D)
He just laughs.
Jim keeps laughing.
AUNT EMMA
And how’s your drumming going, Andy?
Andrew, put on the spot, hesitates. But then, excited--
ANDREW
Well... Actually, it’s...it’s going
really well. I’m now the core drum--
The door OPENS. In steps TRAVIS, another cousin, 21, football
player, real looker. All eyes swerve in an instant from
Andrew to him.
UNCLE FRANK
Well, well, well -- Tom Brady!
TRAVIS
Sorry I’m late.
Pink (9/10/2013) 50
AUNT EMMA
Did you hear, Jimmy?
UNCLE FRANK
They named Trav the season’s MVP.
JIM
That’s incredible, Tra--
AUNT EMMA
(interrupting)
And Dustin heading up Model UN, soon-to-
be-Rhodes-Scholar or who knows what, Jim
“Teacher of the Year”... I mean, the
talent at this table -- it’s stunning.
Beat. Then--
AUNT EMMA (CONT’D)
And Andrew. With his drumming.
UNCLE FRANK
Yeah, you said that was going ok, Andy?
ANDREW
(a little peeved,)
It’s going spectacularly well, actually.
I’m...I’m in Shaffer’s top jazz
orchestra, it’s the best in the country --
and I was just made a core member.
(there’s no reaction)
...Which means I play in competitions.
I’m one of the youngest they have.
TRAVIS
How do they know who wins in a music
competition? Isn’t it subjective?
ANDREW
...No, not really.
UNCLE FRANK
Does the studio help get you a job?
ANDREW
It’s...it’s not a studio, that’s just the
name of the ensemble... And yes, it’s a
big step forward in my career.
UNCLE FRANK
I’m just curious how you make your money
as a drummer. After graduating.
Pink (9/10/2013) 51
Andrew glances at his dad. Wondering if maybe he’ll chime in
in defense... But no. His dad stays meek and quiet.
AUNT EMMA
I saw a TV commercial for credit reports
where a young man was playing the drums.
You could do that.
ANDREW
Yes, or the Lincoln Center Jazz
Orchestra. But the credit reports gig is
a wonderful backup.
UNCLE FRANK
(missing Andrew’s sarcasm)
Well I’m glad you have it figured out. It’s
a nasty business, I’m sure.
(to Travis)
Oh, you gotta tell them about your game last
week. I’d say you lived up to your title.
TRAVIS
43-yard touchdown to win it.
UNCLE FRANK
That’s what I’m talking about! On your
way to the pros.
ANDREW
It’s Division III.
Everyone at the table looks at Andrew -- including his dad.
ANDREW (CONT’D)
He plays for Carleton. It’s Division III.
It’s not even Division II.
(silence, shock around the table)
The tilapia is delicious, by the way.
UNCLE FRANK
(I’ll get you back for that)
You got a lot of friends, Andy?
ANDREW
Not really.
UNCLE FRANK
And why’s that?
ANDREW
I don’t see the use.
Pink (9/10/2013) 52
UNCLE FRANK
Well who will you play with otherwise?
Who’ll give you your break? Lennon and
McCartney were school buddies, am I right?
ANDREW
Charlie Parker didn’t know anyone ‘til Jo
Jones threw a cymbal at his head.
UNCLE FRANK
And that’s your idea of success, then?
ANDREW
Becoming the greatest musician of the
twentieth century would be anyone’s idea
of success.
JIM
Dying broke, drunk, and full of heroin at
34 would not be my idea of success.
Andrew turns and looks at his dad. Can’t believe he joined in.
ANDREW
(to his dad)
I’d rather die broke and drunk at 34 and
have people at a dinner table somewhere
talk about it than die rich and sober at
90 and have no one remember me.
UNCLE FRANK
Ah, but friends remember you. That’s the
whole point.
ANDREW
No, none of us were Charlie Parker’s
friends. That’s the whole point.
UNCLE FRANK
Well there’s such a thing as feeling
loved and included.
ANDREW
I prefer to feel hated and cast out. It
gives me purpose.
JIM
That’s ridiculous. You don’t mean that.
UNCLE FRANK
Travis and Dustin have plenty of friends,
and I’d say they have plenty of purpose.
Pink (9/10/2013) 53
ANDREW
You’re right, they’ll make great School
Board presidents.
DUSTIN
Oh -- so, that’s what this is all about --
you think you’re better than us?
ANDREW
You catch on quick. You must be in Model UN.
TRAVIS
Well I’ve got a reply for you, Andrew.
You think Carleton football’s a joke?
(Andrew only nods)
Come play with us.
ANDREW
Four words you will never hear from the NFL.
AUNT EMMA
Who wants dessert?
JIM
And from Lincoln Center?
A moment of silence. Andrew looks at his dad, and his dad
just looks right back... A simmering anger in his eyes,
Andrew turns to the others, and, slowly--
ANDREW
In 1967 a scientist named Laszlo Polgar
decides to prove talent isn’t about what
you’re born with but about conditioning.
Has three kids, Susan, Sophia and Judit,
and gets them practicing chess for hours
and hours before they can even talk.
Fifteen years later Susan and Sophia are
the two top female players in the world,
and Judit’s on her way to entering the
history books as the greatest female
chess master of all time.
Silence once again. Andrew glances at his dad, and delivers
back that same accusatory look he saw in the kitchen...
UNCLE FRANK
So not only do you want to die at 34,
broke, drunk, and addicted to heroin, but
you also wish you were a lab rat.
Pink (9/10/2013) 54
Andrew says nothing. Rises, plate in hand. Walks to the door--
DUSTIN
Enjoy band camp.
ANDREW
Enjoy pretending you’re an ambassador.
--and swings it shut behind him.
Ratings
Scene 30 - The Breakup Decision
ANDREW
Ok, I’m going to just lay it out. This is
why I don’t think we should be together.
We’re back in the city, at a coffee shop. Andrew is seated
across from Nicole, who just looks at him. Clearly she did
not think this is how the conversation would begin.
ANDREW (CONT’D)
I’ve thought about this a lot. If we’re
together this is what’s going to happen.
I’m going to keep pursuing what I’m
pursuing, and it’s going to take up more
and more of my time. You’re going to see
me less and less. When you do, I’ll be
distracted, I’ll be upset, I’ll be
playing things in my mind. And you’re
going to just grow to resent me. At a
certain point, you’ll tell me to ease up
on the drumming, to spend more time with
you. And I won’t be able to. And I’ll
start to resent you for even asking me
that. I’ll feel like you’re dragging me
down, you’ll feel like you don’t matter --
and before long, we’ll hate each other.
So I think we should just cut it off now,
cleanly, for those reasons.
A beat. Nicole is silent. Finally, Andrew adds--
ANDREW (CONT’D)
Because I want to be great.
NICOLE
And you’re not.
ANDREW
I want to be one of the greats.
NICOLE
And I would stop you from doing that.
Pink (9/10/2013) 55
ANDREW
Yes.
NICOLE
You know I would stop you from doing
that. You know that for a fact.
ANDREW
Yes.
NICOLE
And I would barely see you anyway.
ANDREW
That’s right.
NICOLE
And when I did see you, you would treat
me like shit, because I’m some girl who
doesn’t know what she wants, and you have
a path, and you’re going to be great, and
I’m going to be forgotten, and therefore
you won’t be able to give me the time of
day because you have bigger things to
pursue.
ANDREW
That’s right. That’s exactly my point.
Beat.
NICOLE
You’re right. We should not be dating.
She gets up.
ANDREW
I’m glad we had this talk.
NICOLE
Me too.
With that, she turns and leaves. We linger on Andrew, the
look on his face... Did I just fuck up...? No, I’m good.
Ratings
Scene 31 - The Tension of Replacement
A BLAST of music. Horns squealing, cymbals swelling.
It’s another Studio Band rehearsal. Andrew’s at the drums,
playing well. Fletcher cues a fermata, and the band
finishes STUDIO BAND REHEARSAL AFTER-BREAKUP CHART.
Pink (9/10/2013) 56
FLETCHER
Alright, gang. Pick up the new chart by
the door. Rehearsal tonight starts at 9.
You have ‘til then to learn it.
PLAYERS head out. Andrew grabs his copy of the chart -- it’s
called “CARAVAN” -- when--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Neiman. Stay a bit, ok?
Andrew nods. Carl, at the door, glares at him. Then slinks off.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
(approaching, pointing to the chart)
Look at this. See the tempo?
ANDREW
Quarter note 330...
FLETCHER
That’s a double-time swing. That’s what
got you in here, isn’t it?
ANDREW
I guess so...
Fletcher grins. Then -- the smile fades.
FLETCHER
Now, just as was the case with you, I
stumbled on a kid practicing his double-
time swing the other night. I’d like to
give him a shot.
Before Andrew can register, let alone ask “Who?”--
RYAN (O.S.)
Am I late?
Fletcher and Andrew turn to the door. RYAN CONNOLLY is here.
FLETCHER
Perfect timing! Join us, Connolly.
(Ryan heads over, smiling)
You two know each other, don’t you?
RYAN
Yep, Nassau Band. ‘Sup, Andrew...
Ryan is all smiles. But Andrew is mortified. Can barely
conceal his anxiety -- and his anger.
Pink (9/10/2013) 57
FLETCHER
Now, Connolly, I’ve made Andrew a
temporary core--
(Andrew’s eyes shoot up at
the word “temporary”)
--but we’ve got the competition this
weekend and I want to make sure the new
chart’s in good shape.
Ryan nods, reaches into his backpack. And, to Andrew’s shock,
pulls out the “new chart”. CARAVAN.
RYAN
This one, right?
Andrew’s wide-eyed. When did he get the chart?
FLETCHER
(as though he can read his mind)
I gave it to him this morning, Neiman.
Now, all I want to do is test out the
part. Neiman, if you wouldn’t mind, could
we take it from the top with just you?
Andrew tries to keep calm. Goes to the drums, lays out the
chart.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Don’t worry, I don’t care about hits.
That’ll be tonight. For now, just tempo.
Andrew nods. Takes a deep breath. Looks at the tempo notation.
“330”. Another breath. Ok... I’ve got this... Fletcher CLAPS.
Andrew BEGINS.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
No... That’s not quite my tempo...
ANDREW
I’m -- I’m sorry -- I’ll--
FLETCHER
Let’s see if Connolly can do it, ok?
Beat. Andrew looks at Ryan. Heart pounding, he switches with
him. Fletcher CLAPS. Ryan BEGINS. And he plays perfectly.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Connolly -- that was excellent. See,
this is the beauty of Studio Band. You
come in an alternate -- but a minute
later, you could be the new core.
Andrew’s eyes widen again.
Pink (9/10/2013) 58
ANDREW
You’re not serious.
Fletcher looks at Andrew -- as though shocked Andrew talked
back. A moment of silence. Then -- BZZZZZ. Fletcher’s cell.
FLETCHER
Connolly, the chart’s yours. See you
both tonight at 9.
(answering the phone)
Hi, this is Terence...
He heads to his OFFICE. Andrew is still. What just happened...?
RYAN
How you been, bro?
(Andrew looks at Ryan)
I think it was the injury that kept me out
last time. But I’m fuckin’ stoked to be
joining you guys now.
Andrew just stares. Ryan seems earnest -- but Andrew is incensed.
RYAN (CONT’D)
(mistaking Andrew’s look for
anxiety)
Don’t worry about Fletch, either. My
granddad knew his dad from the
Philharmonic when Fletcher was trying to
break in. He’s more bark than bite.
Andrew’s eyes really widen now: What the fuck is going on?
He gets up, marches to Fletcher’s door, and--
Ratings
Scene 32 - The Challenge of Determination
--BURSTS in. Fletcher’s just finished his call.
FLETCHER ANDREW
What are--? I need to talk to you.
FLETCHER ANDREW
Now is not the time, I I can play that part, you
swear to God-- know I can--
FLETCHER
I said NOT NOW!!!
There’s more desperation in Fletcher’s voice than anger. And
Andrew notices something else: Fletcher’s eyes are watering...
Andrew is silent. He’s never seen Fletcher like this.
Pink (9/10/2013) 59
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
(softly, as though close to crying)
You want the part? Then...earn it.
A moment passes.
54 INT. GEHRING HALL - STUDIO BAND ROOM - CONTINUOUS 54
Andrew busts back through the STUDIO BAND ROOM. Eyes burning.
One thought and one thought only: Get that part back.
RYAN
Bro! Wanna grab lunch?
But Andrew doesn’t answer. Just keeps walking.
Ratings
Scene 33 - Relentless Pursuit
Andrew pours ice into a sink. Turns on the faucet. Dips a big
glass jug in and collects ice water.
55 INT. ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - DAY 55
Andrew practices the part... He’s pushing, giving it his all...
“CARAVAN” on his stand, scribbled over with pencil markings:
“forte”, “triplets!”, “hemiola 1-3”, “don’t slow down!”
ANDREW
Come on... Come on...
He stops. His hand throbbing from blisters. He dips it by his
side -- into the jug of ICE WATER. Clenches. Blood clouds the
water.
He resumes playing -- frenzied, exhausted. Fucks up, screams out--
ANDREW (CONT’D)
Fuck!!!!
Starts pounding his stick against the drum-head. Then his hand.
Pounding harder and harder, once, twice, three times, four
times. Hand bleeding more, the drum-skin giving way, finally
tearing and breaking.
He STARTS PLAYING again, fed up, enraged, SHOUTING at himself--
ANDREW (CONT’D)
Come on you fucking piece of shit... Come
on!!! COME ON!!!!
Pink (9/10/2013) 60
Ratings
Scene 34 - The Price of Perfection
A crowded subway car. Andrew is seated, poring over his sheet
music, running through the beats in his head...
57 INT. GEHRING HALL - STUDIO BAND ROOM - NIGHT 57
The PLAYERS sit silently. Ryan on the drum throne, Carl and
Andrew behind him -- Carl still humiliated, Andrew 100%
focused. The clock reads: 9:00. Not a word in the room.
Fletcher emerges. A CD PLAYER in his hand. He plugs it in.
FLETCHER
Ok... Um...
For the first time ever, he seems uneasy, unsure what to say.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
We...we have a new player. Ryan Connolly.
Ryan nods, waves to the other PLAYERS. Chipper--
RYAN
Sup, dudes.
Andrew glares at him. Seething now. But, continuing, softly--
FLETCHER
But I...if you could just...put your
instruments down... Just for a second...
He turns to the CD player. Turns it on. A big-band ballad
swells. A muted trumpet takes the lead. It’s CASEY’S SONG,
and it’s a tender sound, full of melancholy...
For a few seconds, Fletcher doesn’t say a word. His thoughts
seem to be drifting. Then, hesitant, as the music plays...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Six years ago...I saw a kid practicing
scales in a band room here. He’d started at
Shaffer with a lot of hope, but the truth
was he’d barely squeaked in and he was
struggling. Everyone on the faculty told
him: “This isn’t for you.” But they didn’t
see what I saw...
(his voice croaking again,
emotional,)
...this...this scared, skinny kid cursing
himself ‘cause he couldn’t get his scales
right... I saw a drive in him...
(MORE)
Pink (9/10/2013) 61
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
And I put him in Studio Band, and we
worked together for three years, and when
he graduated, Marsalis made him third
trumpet at Lincoln Center. A year later,
he was first. That’s who you’re hearing
now.
(then,)
His name was Sean Casey.
The name catches Andrew’s attention. The trumpeter Fletcher
mentioned to him... And the word “was”...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
I found out this morning...that Sean died.
He died in a car accident yesterday...
(takes a moment, is having
trouble speaking)
I just wanted you guys to know that...
He was... Sean was a...
(and, almost dissolving into
tears on these next words)
...beautiful player...
(breathes in, collects himself)
I just thought you all should know.
Beat. He leans back down and turns off the CD. Silence.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
(another moment; then, still shaky--)
“Caravan”. From bar 142, please.
The PLAYERS open their folders, pick up their instruments.
Fletcher waits. Hesitates again... Then -- CLAPS. Just drums,
bass and trombone play the trombone solo section of CARAVAN
STUDIO BAND REHEARSAL. Fast, precise -- but Fletcher waves to
Ryan to stop.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
No, that’s...that’s not quite right,
Connolly... Sorry...
Andrew’s eyes instantly fill with hope. Is this his chance?
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
I... I want to try Neiman on this... Ok?
Ryan nods, slowly slides off -- as Andrew quickly gets on.
Clutches his sticks tight. This is it... Fletcher’s still shaky--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Maybe...maybe now’s the time for Neiman
to earn the part...
Beat. He CLAPS off, Andrew starts, and, only ONE SECOND later--
Pink (9/10/2013) 62
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
No, I guess not. Tanner.
An anger is creeping into Fletcher’s voice now. The
stammering fading away, bit by bit. Dismayed, Andrew gets
off, Carl gets on, Fletcher CLAPS him off -- and then,
SLAMMING his fist down on his table, the barely suppressed
grief giving way now to terrifying, full-out rage--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Mother-FUCKER!!!
Carl JUMPS. The band goes silent. Fletcher glares at his
drummers, eyes so heated they could burn holes into you.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Get your ass back on the kit, Connolly.
Ryan does. The other players are still. Real fear in the room...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
I will find my tempo out of one of you
faggots if it takes me all goddamned night.
His tone is vicious, his eyes still watery. He CLAPS, stops--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Which it just might. Neiman.
Andrew gets on. His hands are shaking. Fletcher CLAPS, stops--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Not my tempo. Switch.
Carl gets back on. Fletcher CLAPS, stops yet again--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Not my FUCKING tempo!!!!
He turns to the rest of the band. Rubs his eyes, breathes, and
then, trying to keep calm but his face already beet-red...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Ok... Sorry about this, gang, hate to put
you through it. But rest your arms, put
aside your instruments, if you need to
take a dump do it now, ‘cause I am going
to go for as long as it takes until I
find a drummer who can play in time.
(to the drummers--)
You hear me talking, cocksuckers? You’d
better start shitting me perfect 400’s.
Connolly. You first. Get on the kit.
Pink (9/10/2013) 63
58 INT. GEHRING HALL - BASEMENT HALLWAY - LATER 58
PLAYERS mull through the hall, stretching. A few yawns. You can
tell these guys have been here for hours already... And through
the wall, the kind of screaming that shakes you to your core:
FLETCHER (O.S.)
Motherfucking COCKSUCKER!!! Is--
Ratings
Scene 35 - The Breaking Point
FLETCHER
--that the fastest you can go?? It is no
fucking wonder Mommy ran out on you, you
worthless acne-scarred fetal-position
Hymie fuck. GET OFF!!!
Andrew -- whole body shaking, had been playing for half an
hour straight -- gets off the kit, struggling for breath,
hands coated with torn blisters and blood. Fletcher’s rage is
unlike anything we’ve seen from him: pained, vengeful...
Carl gets on the kit. Fletcher CLAPS. The clock: 11:06.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Well what do we have here? Gay Pride
himself. This is not a Sinead O’Connor
concert, Tanner. I am sorry to inform you
we will not be serving Baked Alaska and
Cosmopolitans tonight. Now why don’t you
try playing faster than you give fucking
hand jobs?? One! One! One! One! OFF THE
FUCKING KIT!!!
Carl stops. Staggers back, dazed, as Ryan moves up and begins.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Now we got ourselves our mick fucking paddy-
cracker. Did you know you look like a
fucking leprechaun? I think I’ll call you
Flannery.
60 INT. GEHRING HALL - BATHROOM - NIGHT 60
PLAYERS rinse their faces. One looks at his watch, dead-tired.
It’s very late...
Ratings
Scene 36 - Drumline Showdown
Some players have now returned to their seats.
Pink (9/10/2013) 64
FLETCHER
Switch!
Carl stops playing. Almost falls as he gets off the kit. Ryan
takes his place -- just as worn out. As soon as he sits down
at the set he has to bend down to catch his breath.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
It is not Saint fucking Patrick’s Day,
Flannery, there is not a pot of gold
under your fucking seat. Play.
Fletcher CLAPS. Ryan plays, muscles cramping, can’t keep up--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Switch!
Ryan stops, gasping. Fletcher’s eyes land...
...ON ANDREW. Face awash in sweat, hair dripping, muscles
throbbing, wrists red, hands caked in blood, T-shirt clinging
to his chest. This is it...
ANDREW
(muttering to himself as he
gets on the kit)
Come on... Come on you fuck...
FLETCHER
Let’s see if we can finally bring this
home.
He CLAPS. Andrew begins.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Don’t slow down.
Andrew tries, the tempo slips... So fast, so loud...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Speed up! God-fucking-damnit I said SPEED
UP!!!
Andrew’s arms are moving as fast as they possibly can, his
feet like triggers -- and his ears start RINGING now, the
RINGING cutting and almost drowning out the other sounds...
Fletcher, fire-eyed, turns around and goes into the nearest
CLOSET. Emerges with a COWBELL and a STICK. Comes closer and
BANGS ON IT in time. The SOUND slices through the RINGING,
startles Andrew, this stick whacking down inches from his head--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Don’t stop!!
Pink (9/10/2013) 65
Andrew doesn’t stop. Manages to glare forward, with what
almost seems like hatred in his tired, blood-shot eyes...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Faster!... Faster!!
(Andrew speeds up)
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
One! One! One! One! One! One! One! One!
Andrew slips, almost loses the beat. Fletcher GRABS the FLOOR
TOM DRUM and HURLS it through the air, against the nearest
wall. It RAMS into the concrete, handles buckling. But Andrew
stays focused. Doesn’t cry.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
KEEP PLAYING!!
Andrew does. Fletcher raises the COWBELL now, about to STRIKE
Andrew across the head, looks like a fucking madman -- but
still Andrew does not cry -- as Fletcher BELLOWS--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
KEEP PLAYING!!!
Andrew keeps playing.
Fletcher stands still. Stares at him. Circles the drum set
like a predatory beast, ready to strike at any instant.
Then -- he steps back. Drops the cowbell and stick. Andrew is
still playing, going like an automaton. No tears. Finally,
Fletcher silently raises his hand, and, with just a slight
wave, gestures for Andrew to stop.
Andrew does. Nearly collapses over the set.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Congratulations, Neiman. You earned the part.
He turns to the rest of the band.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Ok. Now we can begin.
The clock: 2:00.
Ratings
Scene 37 - Exhaustion and Transformation
It’s 3:30am. The PLAYERS stagger out of the building. Zombies.
Andrew appears, red-eyed, past exhaustion. Fletcher emerges last.
Pink (9/10/2013) 66
FLETCHER
5pm call tomorrow. Leave at least two
hours from New York this time. Save your
travel receipts. Or don’t, I don’t give a
fuck.
He then walks off. Andrew watches him leave. And, as we zero in
on Andrew’s eyes...
...we see that something fundamental has changed.
He looks like a completely different person now. 100% hollowed
out.
BUS DRIVER (PRE-LAP)
Next stop Dunellen. Two hours.
63 OMITTED 63
Ratings
Scene 38 - Mechanical Breakdown
We’re on a Greyhound, packed. Another VOICE in the back...
ANDREW
Bop-ba-d-d-da-bop... Bada-bop-bop-bop...
Pink (9/10/2013) 67
It’s Andrew. Hunched over sheet music, earphones on, counting
aloud through “CARAVAN”. And, by his side -- a Zip-lock bag of
PILLS. Just like the ones we saw exchanged at the party outside
his dorm...
PASSENGERS look at him. Who is this lunatic...?
ANDREW (CONT’D)
Bop-bada-bop... Ba-da-bop-ba-d-d-d-da-bop...
And suddenly -- A JOLT. The bus ROCKS to the side, lights go
out, the wheels SCREECH to an abrupt stop. Andrew removes his
earphones.
65 EXT. ROAD TO DUNELLEN - GREYHOUND BUS - DAY 65
The side of the road. Andrew and the other PASSENGERS stand
outside, waiting, the BUS’s right tire blown, a rod lodged
into its side. Andrew checks his phone for the time. Fuck...
Ratings
Scene 39 - Urgent Departure
A nondescript Jersey town. A NEW BUS comes to a stop, setting
down passengers on Dunellen’s Main Street. Andrew bolts off,
carrying his stick bag and music folder. Looks around.
Perplexed. Grabs a PASSERBY--
ANDREW PASSERBY
Do you know where all the No, you gotta call the
cabs are? They said there cabs. Takes half an hour
were cabs here, that’s what notice.
I--
ANDREW PASSERBY
What? Well is there a -- They got a car rental down
another bus or-- on Pine.
ANDREW
Which way??
The Passerby points -- and Andrew starts RUNNING.
Ratings
Scene 40 - Race Against Time
Five blocks later -- Andrew dashes across a patch of grass,
reaches a door, grabs the handle. The door won’t open. He goes
white. Sees the HOURS sign. Eyes scroll down. Starts POUNDING--
Pink (9/10/2013) 68
ANDREW
You’re still open! You’re still open!
A MAN appears. Gestures for Andrew to calm down. Opens up.
68 INT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - MOMENTS LATER 68
Andrew finishes signing paperwork. Grabs his MUSIC FOLDER and
BACKPACK from the nearest chair, hurries off. WE DRIFT back...
...to the STICK BAG left on the chair.
69 EXT/INT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - RENTAL CAR - MOMENTS LATER 69
Andrew RUNS like mad across a small LOT. Reaches a CAR, opens
up and jumps in. Plugs an address into the GPS. The estimated
time: 9 minutes. The clock: 3:02... He floors it.
Ratings
Scene 41 - Race Against Time
Andrew drives fast. His cell rings--
ANDREW
Hello??
PIANIST (O.S.)
Neiman, where the fuck are you? Call-time
was 5.
ANDREW
I’m sorry -- I’m on my way. I’m almost--
PIANIST (O.S.) ANDREW
We’re on stage in twenty-- I know, I’m almost ther--
PIANIST (O.S.)
--and Fletcher’s got Connolly warming up
in case you don’t show.
ANDREW
God-fucking-damnit, I SAID I was on my
way, you tell the redhead I’m ON MY
FUCKING WAY!!
He throws the phone against his seat.
69B EXT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - MOMENTS LATER 69B
Andrew pulls up.
Pink (9/10/2013) 69
Ratings
Scene 42 - Race Against Time
Andrew arrives, panting. Fletcher glares, the band behind him--
FLETCHER
Glad you could work us into your
schedule, darling.
ANDREW
I’m here. I’m ready to play.
FLETCHER
Too late. Connolly’s playing.
Andrew looks over to his left -- to Ryan.
ANDREW
Like fucking hell he is.
Fletcher looks at him. Stunned. The PLAYERS also look shocked.
FLETCHER
Come again?
ANDREW
It’s my part.
FLETCHER
Actually it’s my part. I decide who I
lend it to.
ANDREW
I have the folder--
FLETCHER
I see the folder for a change, but I
don’t see the sticks.
Andrew is about to counter -- when he looks down. Looks back.
Thinks. Realizes... Skin paling, his heart racing...
ANDREW
They’re -- they’re in the car, I just
have to grab them--
FLETCHER
Nope. I’m warming the band up now.
ANDREW
I’ll use Ryan’s sticks.
FLETCHER
You lost the part, Neiman.
Pink (9/10/2013) 70
ANDREW
No I didn’t!! You can’t do this!
FLETCHER
I CAN’T?!?
He marches toward Andrew. Looms over him, seems about to hit him.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
When did you become an authority on what I
can or cannot do you weepy-willow shitsack?
ANDREW
When I earned that part.
FLETCHER
Earned? You’ve never earned a thing. The
only reason you’re a fucking core is
because you misplaced a folder. The only
reason you’re in Studio Band is because I
told you what I’d be asking for in Nassau.
ANDREW
Bullshit. I’m in Studio Band because--
RYAN
Why don’t you back off, bro?
ANDREW
Fuck you, Johnny Utah. Turn my pages.
FLETCHER
You realize I can cut you anytime I feel.
ANDREW
You would’ve cut me by now.
FLETCHER
Try me you weasel. At 5:30, that’s in
eleven minutes, my band is on-stage. You’re
not there with your own sticks, or you show
up and make a single mistake -- a single
one -- and I’ll send you back to Nassau
Band to turn pages until you graduate or
drop out. For extra kicks, I’ll spread the
word on just how you became a Studio Band
core, and by the time my sewing circle is
done you’ll make your dad look like a
success story.
(lets that linger, then,)
Or I can give “Johnny Utah” the part and
we’ll leave it at that. Your choice.
Pink (9/10/2013) 71
Beat. Andrew catches sight of Carl, standing in the back,
watching -- and almost smiling. He turns back to Fletcher--
ANDREW
It’s my part. I’ll be on the stage.
FLETCHER
That’s 10 minutes 50 seconds left, you
pathetic pansy-ass fruit-fuck.
Andrew turns. Bumps into Ryan, PUSHES him out of the way, RUNS.
70A EXT/INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - RENTAL CAR - MOMENTS LATER70A
Andrew drives away. The clock changes from 5:20 to 5:21.
Ratings
Scene 43 - Desperate Rush
Andrew pulls up at the rental agency. The clock changes from
5:27 to 5:28.
71 INT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - MOMENTS LATER 71
Andrew races into the rental agency. They’re still open... Grabs
the STICK BAG...
71A EXT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - MOMENTS LATER 71A
Andrew runs to his car and peels off.
72 INT. DUNELLEN STREET - CAR - MOMENTS LATER 72
Andrew on the road, speeding like a demon, the GPS on. Looks at
the clock. 5:30. Then 5:31. Whips out his cell. Dials...
ANDREW
It’s Neiman... Tell Fletcher I’m coming.
PIANIST (O.S.)
What the fuck is taking so long?? They’re
moving on-stage now.
ANDREW
There was -- there was a problem with the
lock on my car. It’s solved and I’m coming.
GPS VOICE
Left turn up ahead.
Pink (9/10/2013) 72
Andrew looks at the GPS. Fuck. Tries to switch it off.
PIANIST (O.S.)
Are you driving?
ANDREW
No..
The GPS BEEPS for the turn.
PIANIST (O.S.)
What was that?
ANDREW
Tell Fletcher I’m coming or I’ll rip out
your fucking eyes.
He hangs up. Enraged. Slams down on the gas, engine roaring...
PICKING UP SPEED... The GPS says “2 minutes” left... The clock
turns 5:32...
The speedometer SHOOTING UP... UP... UP...
The car reaching a STOP SIGN...but Andrew keeps going, not
looking...
His car SPEEDING UP and SPEEDING UP until it’s--
--SLAMMED INTO.
Glass flying everywhere, everything going so fast, as though
the vehicle had just been whipped up by a tornado...
The car FLIPS, 180, the top crunching down like paper, Andrew
spun around and shoved up against it -- bleeding, battered--
Ratings
Scene 44 - Driven to the Stage
72A
--until the car comes to a stop, upside down. Glass and blood.
Silence.
Andrew takes a moment to understand what has just happened.
Gasping for breath, he yanks himself up -- but finds his LEFT
HAND is caught under the steering wheel. He yanks, pulls at
it. It won’t budge. Smoke and exhaust fumes billow up...
He tugs and tugs and pulls and -- finally -- CRAAAACK -- the
bone of his index finger SNAPS. The most painful sound you can
imagine. He SCREAMS in agony. YANKS back, staggering...
Pink (9/10/2013) 73
His hand is free. Bone broken, bleeding profusely.
Andrew crawls out of the car... Rises to his feet... Dizzy, the
world spinning... The TRUCK DRIVER who rammed into him is running
over--
TRUCK DRIVER
Are you ok???
ANDREW
I -- I need -- I -- my -- my sticks...
He turns back to the car. Bends down to reach back in...
TRUCK DRIVER
No -- stay away from the car, it’s not sa--
Andrew blocks him out. Reaches with his right hand -- the
working one -- and goes for the STICK BAG, sandwiched between
the caved-in top and the seat. Groaning in pain as he
reaches... Gets it.
TRUCK DRIVER (CONT’D)
I’m calling 9-1-1, you’re going to be ok--
ANDREW
I -- I have to -- I have to go, it’s --
it’s three more blocks--
TRUCK DRIVER
(holding him back)
Sir, you don’t have to go anywhere--
ANDREW
Get your hands off me!!!
He yanks free from the Driver’s grasp and starts RUNNING...
73 I/E. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - LOBBY - MOMENTS LATER 73
Still running, has been running for three blocks... Out of
breath, even dizzier than before... Reaches the front green,
face coated in sweat, and hand drenched in blood... Almost
collapses... A couple of PASSERSBY see him, shocked--
PASSERBY
Jesus Christ...
--but he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. He’s dead-set,
tunnel vision, only cares about the goal: Get on-stage...
Andrew busts inside. Eyes scanning. Hears the sound of TUNING...
Pink (9/10/2013) 74
73A OMITTED 73A
Ratings
Scene 45 - The Breaking Point
Dashes in from backstage. The PLAYERS have taken their places,
finished tuning, are about to perform. Andrew sees Fletcher.
Fletcher sees him. Hiding his arm behind his stick bag--
ANDREW
I’m here. I’m here. I’m here.
Doesn’t even wait for Fletcher’s answer, goes straight to the
set where Ryan is seated. Nothing is going to stop him now--
ANDREW (CONT’D)
Get off. Get off the fucking set.
Ryan looks at Fletcher. Fletcher waits -- then nods, almost
smiling. Seems he’s having fun with this. Ryan slides off,
pissed, and takes a seat next to Carl. Andrew takes his place.
His left hand still hidden, Andrew props up his music and
pulls out a pair of sticks. Tries to hold his left stick
properly -- but it keeps giving way. With his index finger
broken, it’s impossible to keep the stick steady...
He looks at the music: “Caravan”... Looks back at his hand...
Tries to move his left fingers, mimicking the stick patterns...
Just up ahead -- Fletcher. Animal intensity...
Andrew closes his eyes... Tries to block out the anxiety...
The pain... The stress that just keeps mounting and mounting...
Gropes inside his STICK BAG. Pulls out his bag of pills. Drops
it. Pills scatter. Picks a pill up, pops it, out of sight.
ANNOUNCEMENT (V.O.)
The Shaffer Conservatory Studio Band...
Fletcher raises his hand, ready to cue... Andrew tries to get
his breathing under control... Ryan and Carl lean forward...
Ryan catches a glimpse of Andrew’s left hand, just as...
...Fletcher’s finger MOVES.
THE BAND IS OFF. It explodes into CARAVAN DUNELLEN at lightning-
speed.
But Andrew is already in trouble... Blood getting on the
snare... Ears starting to RING... Left hand barely keeping
up... The whole thing slowly slipping away from him...
He closes his eyes. Mouths: “Come on come on come on...”
Pink (9/10/2013) 75
A big FILL coming up. He needs both his hands. Launches into
it -- and his left stick CATCHES the edge of a stand...
...AND GOES FLYING. Falling and sliding under the hi-hat pedal.
ANDREW
(still riding with his right hand)
Stick...
Carl stays still. Andrew looks at him. But Carl won’t move.
Panicked, Andrew turns, eyes his old Nassau Band peer -- Ryan.
ANDREW (CONT’D)
Ryan... Stick...
Ryan hesitates. Doesn’t want to think of himself as a
saboteur. But he looks at Carl, Carl looks back at him...and
right then and there he makes his choice.
ANDREW (CONT’D)
Please...
Neither Carl nor Ryan moves.
Andrew, thinking fast, eyes the fallen stick. Trying as hard as
he can to keep that tempo going with his right hand, he slides
down the left side of his body, stretching his arm as far as it
can go... His broken finger grazing the stick... Grabbing hold...
Pulls up -- and -- another CRAAAAAACK as his finger is caught
against the hi-hat pedal and the bone is bent 90 degrees. He
GASPS, almost cries out in pain. Has to hold it in.
Pulls himself back up to the set -- and there, looming over him
already, is Fletcher. Eyes fiery--
FLETCHER
The fuck are you doing...???
Andrew keeps playing. But the PAIN is harder and harder to
ignore. His snare drum completely smeared in red now, his
stick stained, his whole arm shaking. And that RINGING -- just
growing and growing, drowning out everything else...
He looks at the SHEET MUSIC, suddenly lost... The horns blast
out a hit -- but Andrew isn’t on it. Fuck. Launches into another
fill -- and hits the crash at the wrong time.
Fletcher stares at him. The look says it all: it’s over. But
Andrew keeps fighting. Another missed hit, then a missed time-
signature change, the beat falling apart beneath his feet. Total
chaos, and then, finally, the sign of death -- Andrew STOPS.
Pink (9/10/2013) 76
Almost immediately, the rest of the band grinds to a halt. It’s
a horrible sound, like a car screeching, nails on a chalkboard.
Fletcher stands in place, eyes on Andrew. In fact, all eyes are
on Andrew. The theater is dead-silent. Disbelief everywhere.
Calmly, Fletcher approaches Andrew and whispers one last thing:
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
You’re done.
Then he turns around. Andrew start shaking, his eyes brimming
-- and, suddenly, something takes over inside. Almost despite
himself, he RISES -- and KICKS OVER THE DRUMS.
Cymbals CRASH to the wooden stage-floor like bombs. Andrew
CHARGES forward -- and, just as Fletcher turns to him, TACKLES
the man to the ground...
Andrew goes absolutely batshit crazy on Fletcher, murder in his
eyes... Raises his fists, about to POUND into Fletcher’s face,
when SECURITY GUARDS yank him off, pulling him away in a flash...
Torn from his target, Andrew breaks down into TEARS. Every-
thing inside him spilling out like water. Fletcher, stunned but
uninjured, gets back on his feet. His shirt drips with blood --
not his own, but Andrew’s. A SECURITY GUARD rushes onto the
scene, and Andrew, kicking and screaming, is DRAGGED OFF...
We linger inside the theater. A hush over the audience, the
players and their instruments. And then, a card:
Final Competition of the Winter Season
75 OMITTED 75
76 OMITTED 76
Ratings
Scene 46 - A Farewell to Innocence
Andrew stands alone in his dorm. Staring into space. A
bandage on his hand. Time has passed...
Lets his eyes take in one item at a time: A drum pad on the
floor. A metronome. A DISMISSAL LETTER... He’s been expelled
from Shaffer.
A DVD. He slides that into his laptop, sits down slowly...
Pink (9/10/2013) 76A
A HOME VIDEO begins: a smiling EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY at a
DRUM... It’s ANDREW... Innocent, bright-eyed, having a
blast...
EIGHT-YEAR-OLD ANDREW
...and this is my pa-ra-did-dle...
He plays a paradiddle on the drum: left-right-left-left.
A CHEER off-camera, a voice we recognize -- his father,
JIM--
JIM (O.S.)
Woooo-hoooo!!!
EIGHT-YEAR-OLD ANDREW glows. And our Andrew, hurting,
tearing up, watches...
Pulls the DVD out. SNAPS it in half. Tosses the halves in
the trash. Slides the drum pad and metronome into the
trash as well. Ties the trash bag and pulls it out.
Ratings
Scene 47 - Breaking Free
Andrew busts in, starts breaking his drums down. First
the cymbals come off, then the pedals, then the toms...
A look of resolution on his face -- and, bubbling up,
anger... He tears at the drums as though attacking them,
pulls them apart almost viciously, one part after another...
Then the Buddy Rich POSTER -- which he rips to shreds...
84 INT. HALLWAY - ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - MOMENTS LATER 84
Andrew THROWS trash bags into a garbage can... Heads back
and eyes his PRACTICE ROOM -- now empty. He takes a moment.
Sits down on the hallway floor, the drum parts stacked to
the side. Leans back, closes his eyes, and takes a deep
breath out...
It’s done.
He pulls out his cell. A beat. Then--
ANDREW
Ok... Where do you want me to meet you?
Pink (9/10/2013) 77
77 OMITTED 77
Ratings
Scene 48 - Confronting the Past
RACHEL BORNHOLDT -- lawyer, elegantly dressed -- sits across
from Andrew, Jim to the side. There’s a glass of white wine for
Jim, a club soda for Rachel, and an untouched water for Andrew.
A moment of silence. Finally--
RACHEL BORNHOLDT
Andrew...?
Andrew remains silent for a moment. Then--
ANDREW
When did you contact my dad?
Pink (9/10/2013) 78
JIM
They just called me this week, Andr--
RACHEL BORNHOLDT
(interrupting)
Does the name Sean Casey mean anything to you?
Andrew looks back at Rachel. A moment. Warily, he nods.
RACHEL BORNHOLDT (CONT’D)
So you know of his death? Last month he
hung himself in his apartment.
Andrew takes this in. Fletcher had said it was a car accident...
ANDREW
What does that have to do with me?
RACHEL BORNHOLDT
Sean suffered from anxiety and depression.
His mother claims this started during his
time as Fletcher’s student.
Andrew looks at her. Rachel can tell he’s surprised.
A moment passes.
RACHEL BORNHOLDT (CONT’D)
Now, the Caseys aren’t wealthy. They
don’t want to file suit.
ANDREW
Then what do they want?
RACHEL BORNHOLDT
To make sure Terence Fletcher is never
allowed to do this to another student.
ANDREW
He didn’t do anything.
RACHEL BORNHOLDT
So President Kohn and Dean Pence will tell
you. To them, Fletcher is Shaffer.
(MORE)
Pink (9/10/2013) 79
RACHEL BORNHOLDT (CONT'D)
But if they think we have a case like this
and can win in court, they’ll have no
choice but to let him go before we do.
Beat. Andrew looks at her. Then at his dad.
ANDREW
Well, I have nothing to say.
Jim leans forward now, taking the initiative--
JIM
Andrew... It’s over, ok...? He’s out of
your life. Why let him get away with what
he did to you?
He eyes Rachel. Ok...? Was that the right thing to say...?
Andrew stays silent.
RACHEL BORNHOLDT
Would you characterize his conduct as
extreme, Andrew? Did he ever intentionally
inflict emotional distress?
Still Andrew doesn’t respond. Feels his dad’s stare on
him as well now.
RACHEL BORNHOLDT (CONT’D)
(trying to persuade--)
This would not be a public hearing, you
know... Fletcher would never know it was
you who spoke up.
Andrew looks at the glass of water in front of him. Untouched.
ANDREW
...What would happen to him?
RACHEL BORNHOLDT
Shaffer will do anything to prevent this
from going to court. Yours won’t be the
first complaint, but I think it’ll tip
the balance. You’re recent.
ANDREW
You tried other students?
RACHEL BORNHOLDT
Some -- but you guys are walls.
ANDREW
And you thought I’d talk.
Pink (9/10/2013) 79A
RACHEL BORNHOLDT
You have nothing to gain from Fletcher
anymore.
A beat. Andrew turns his eyes to his dad. Anger in his gaze--
ANDREW
Why did you do this...?
Jim seems taken aback. Flustered for a second. Then--
JIM
You think I was going to let him put my
son through hell and walk off scot-free?
Andrew turns away. Jim can see the hurt on his son’s face.
The sense of betrayal. Worried, trying to reach out--
JIM (CONT’D)
Don’t you know I would never let that
happen, Andrew? That there’s nothing in
the world more important to me than you?
(beat; Andrew evades his gaze)
Don’t you know that?
A moment. Andrew looks at his dad again.
Then he stares ahead. WE PUSH in on him, slowly -- as he
drifts deeper into thought, trying to sort through it
all...
RACHEL BORNHOLDT (O.S.)
...Andrew?
Andrew can barely hear her...
Defeated, his soul split in two... Finally -- he gives up.
ANDREW
Just tell me what to say.
WE FADE OUT.
Pink (9/10/2013) 80
79 OMITTED 79
80 OMITTED 80
81 OMITTED 81
Pink (9/10/2013) 81
82 OMITTED 82
Pink (9/10/2013) 82
85 OMITTED 85
Ratings
Scene 49 - Silent Connections
Summer in New York. Tube tops, street performers, sunshine.
Andrew, hand healed, carries laundry. Looks up and sees a huge
sign: “BACK IN NYC! JVC JAZZ FESTIVAL June 21-29”. We’re in the
Lower East Side -- far, far away from Shaffer...
87 INT. ANDREW’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - LATE AFTERNOON 87
A new apartment. Andrew’s dad is already inside, sliding
groceries into the fridge when Andrew enters.
JIM
Hey, buddy. You ready?
88 INT. ANDREW’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - LATE AFTERNOON 88
Blinds closed, as Andrew and Jim sit and watch “North by
Northwest” on TV. We PAN from a few college applications on a
table, past the walls -- no decorations at all -- to Andrew and
Jim seated.
We linger on Andrew’s face. There’s a sadness in his eyes. He
looks tired, even after months, and resigned.
Pink (9/10/2013) 83
Jim laughs at a line in the movie. Glances over at his son,
wants to see if he’s enjoying himself. Hands him some popcorn.
A beat.
Ratings
Scene 50 - Moments of Isolation
Father and son stand by the doorway, Jim about to exit--
JIM
“Dr. No” next week. Or whatever’s playing
on 86th...?
ANDREW
...I’d rather do it here.
JIM
Ok. I stacked your pantry with Gushers.
Andrew manages a smile. A moment passes between them.
ANDREW
Thanks, Dad...
Jim exits. Andrew hangs back. A moment...
Then, Andrew glances down at his phone. Scrolls to a specific
number: “NICOLE”.
He looks at it. Thinking. Finger hovering over it...
Then, too scared, he pulls back. Pockets the phone.
90 INT. SANDWICH SHOP - DAY 90
Andrew makes a ham sandwich, employee’s apron on. Hands it
silently to a CUSTOMER.
91 INT. JIM’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY 91
Uncle Frank, Jim, and Travis sit on the couch watching a
hockey game on TV. They laugh and cheer, as Andrew sits off to
the side, also watching -- his mind far away.
Ratings
Scene 51 - Unexpected Encounter
Andrew walks alone, eating a slice of pizza. Crosses by a
STREET PERFORMER -- a man drumming away on a row of buckets.
Doesn’t watch, just keeps walking.
Pink (9/10/2013) 84
We follow, as Andrew passes a JAZZ CLUB on the next block.
Suddenly -- he stops.
There, on the club’s main sign, below the featured names, are
these words: “Guest Performer: TERENCE FLETCHER”. Andrew stays
put for a second. Completely taken aback. Then he starts
walking away. Then stops. Nope. Turns around...
93 INT. JAZZ CLUB - MOMENTS LATER 93
...and steps inside. It’s a genteel venue. On the stage, BASS,
DRUMS, BONGOS -- and, at the piano, FLETCHER.
The mere sight gets Andrew’s pulse racing. But he stays put.
Watches... The quartet is pacing its way through FLETCHER’S
SONG IN CLUB, and Fletcher is playing the final head. He’s
exceedingly delicate, gentle with each keystroke, his fingers
moving like ballerinas. His playing is soft, subtle, and
exquisite. He plays the melody as though moved by it.
Andrew is surprised by this... Stays in the back, behind the
last table. The song comes to a close. Fletcher smiles, looks --
and then freezes. His eyes locked on Andrew. He has seen him.
Andrew blanches, takes a step back, hurries for the exit. But
there’s a PERSON blocking the way. Tries to squeeze through--
DRUMMER (O.S.)
That was Terence Fletcher, on the keys...
More applause. Andrew, hemmed in, keeps trying to get out--
FLETCHER
Neiman.
Andrew stops. Turns. Fletcher is standing right there. A moment
of silence. Andrew is pale. But Fletcher’s face is a blank.
ANDREW
...Hi...
SMASH CUT TO:
Ratings
Scene 52 - Jazz Club Reflections
A table in the corner. Fletcher and Andrew seated. They seem to
have been sitting here in silence for some time. Two drinks
stand between them. Untouched. The other band members on-stage
play JAZZ CLUB BLUES, a new PIANIST on the keys and a
SAXOPHONIST added as well. Finally--
Pink (9/10/2013) 85
FLETCHER
So what are you up to these days, Andrew?
ANDREW
...Oh, just...you know...various...things...
Fletcher nods. Ok. Andrew eyes him. Then, nervous--
ANDREW (CONT’D)
...I--I’m sorry about what happened.
(then, should I clarify?--)
At Dunellen.
FLETCHER
You shouldn’t be. A player’s got to be
willing to fight.
Andrew looks at him.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
You played with a broken bone. After
crashing a car. That’s insane.
ANDREW
I was in a different place.
FLETCHER
Good thing you’re not in that place
anymore.
A beat. Then -- Fletcher seems distracted. By people CLAPPING
ALONG to the band...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Have you ever noticed it’s never the
people with rhythm who clap along?
He starts CLAPPING loudly, in the proper tempo. Leans over to
the table next to his, where a COUPLE is clapping off-beat, and
starts CLAPPING in their faces. Then sits back down.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
I don’t know if you know... I don’t teach
anymore.
ANDREW
I... I heard about that... You quit?
FLETCHER
...No, not exactly.
He looks at Andrew. A moment of tension. Does he know...?
Pink (9/10/2013) 86
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
A couple parents got a kid from Sean
Casey’s year... I don’t know who, I think
maybe a bassist... They got him to say a
few things about me... That much I know...
(Andrew tries to hide his relief)
Though why anyone would have anything but
honey and sugar to say about me is a
mystery.
Andrew laughs. Seems the mood has lightened.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
That’s a good laugh, huh?
ANDREW
Oh, no... I...I just--
FLETCHER
No, it’s ok -- I know I’ve made some
enemies. Maybe I seem to think my style
is normal, but believe me, I don’t.
A moment. Fletcher finally takes a sip of his drink.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
I’m conducting some, though. They’re
bringing back the JVC Fest this year, got
me opening with a pro band in two weeks.
ANDREW
(genuinely impressed)
That’s amazing.
FLETCHER
(shrugs)
It’s ok...
Then, looking off for a moment--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
The truth is I don’t think people
understand what it is I did at Shaffer. I
wasn’t there to conduct. Any idiot can
move his hands and keep people in tempo.
No, it’s about pushing people beyond
what’s expected of them. And I believe
that is a necessity. Because without it
you’re depriving the world of its next
Armstrong. Its next Parker.
(pause)
Why did Charlie Parker become Charlie
Parker, Andrew?
Pink (9/10/2013) 87
Beat. Andrew is surprised. He’s told this story himself.
ANDREW
Because Jo Jones threw a cymbal at him.
FLETCHER
Exactly. Young kid, pretty good on the
sax, goes up to play his solo in a
cutting session, fucks up -- and Jones
comes this close to slicing his head off
for it. He’s laughed off-stage. Cries
himself to sleep that night. But the next
morning, what does he do? He practices.
And practices and practices. With one
goal in mind: that he never ever be
laughed off-stage again. A year later he
goes back to the Reno, and he plays the
best motherfucking solo the world had
ever heard.
Andrew smiles. Nods. Finally -- unlike his uncles, his cousins,
even his father -- someone who gets it.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Now imagine if Jones had just patted
young Charlie on the head and said “Good
job.” Charlie would’ve said to himself,
“Well, shit, I did do a good job,” and
that’d be that. No Bird. Tragedy, right?
Except that’s just what people today
want. The Shaffer Conservatories of the
world, they want sugar. You don’t even
say “cutting session” anymore, do you?
No, you say “jam session”. What the fuck
kind of word is that? Jam session? It’s a
cutting session, Andrew, this isn’t
fucking Smucker’s. It’s about weeding out
the best from the worst so that the worst
become better than the best.
(beat)
I mean look around you. $25 drinks, mood
lighting, a little shrimp cocktail to go
with your Coltrane. And people wonder why
jazz is dying.
(then,)
Take it from me, and every Starbucks jazz
album only proves my point. There are no
two words more harmful in the entire
English language than “good job”.
Beat. He leans back. Lets his words linger. Andrew thinks...
Pink (9/10/2013) 88
ANDREW
But do you think there’s a line? You know
-- where you discourage the next Charlie
Parker from becoming Charlie Parker?
FLETCHER
No. Because the next Charlie Parker would
never be discouraged.
Andrew takes this in. A moment...
ANDREW
...And you? Are you back to playing now?
FLETCHER
Not really. Here and there... The playing
never interested me. I never wanted to be
Charlie Parker. I wanted to be the man
who made Charlie Parker. The man who
discovered some scrawny kid, pushed him,
prodded him, shaped him into something
great -- and then said to the world,
“Check this out. The best motherfucking
solo you’ve ever heard.”
ANDREW
Who’s your Charlie Parker, then?
(hesitant)
Sean Casey...?
The name hits Fletcher. Fletcher looks at Andrew -- who
immediately regrets bringing that name up. Why? Because, even
after everything, the sight of Fletcher hurting affects him...
FLETCHER
Sean... Sean was a sweet kid... And with
all those idiots saying “This isn’t for
you”, Sean did something great. Very few
people ever get that chance...
He pauses. Looks off. Looks at the musicians on-stage...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
But no... Not Sean Casey.
(then, as he thinks about this,)
The truth is I don’t know if I ever had a
Charlie Parker...
(and then,)
But I tried. And that’s more than most
people can say, Andrew. I tried. And even
if I never find one, I will never
apologize for trying.
Pink (9/10/2013) 89
He’s silent. A look of disappointment.
Then, he points to the PIANIST on-stage...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
He’s a beautiful player, isn’t he?
ANDREW
Yeah...
Fletcher nods. His thoughts drifting again. A moment passes.
Ratings
Scene 53 - A New Opportunity
Andrew and Fletcher exit. They stand for a second. Look at
one another. An awkward silence.
ANDREW
Nice seeing you...
Fletcher nods. Beat. Andrew turns, about to head off, when--
FLETCHER
Look. I don’t know how you’ll take this.
That band I’m leading for JVC -- our
drummer isn’t cutting it.
(Andrew looks at him blankly...)
Do you understand...?
ANDREW
No...
FLETCHER
I’m using the Studio Band playlist.
“Whiplash”, “Caravan”. I need a
replacement who already knows those
charts inside out.
Andrew looks at him. You can’t be serious...
ANDREW
(trying to gather his thoughts)
Wh-- what -- what about Ryan Connolly...?
FLETCHER
What about him? All he was was your
incentive.
ANDREW
...And...and Tanner??
Pink (9/10/2013) 90
FLETCHER
He switched to pre-med.
(and with a hint of a smile)
I think he got discouraged.
Andrew is speechless now. Is this really happening?
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
We’re rehearsing next Tuesday. Why don’t
you take the weekend to think about it?
Andrew takes it all in. WE PUSH in on him, processing... And,
slowly but surely, his shock and uncertainty harden before our
eyes -- into resolution... This is something to seize on.
ANDREW
I don’t need to.
95 INT. ANDREW’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY 95
BLACK -- then light floods in. Andrew has just opened his
closet doors. In a stack, gathering dust, are his OLD DRUMS...
Andrew looks at them -- heart swelling, nerves racing...
CUT TO:
95A INT. ANDREW’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER 95A
Andrew setting the DRUMS up... Newly energized, a speed
in his movements we haven’t seen since Dunellen...
CUT TO:
95B INT. ANDREW’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - EVENING 95B
Andrew practicing. You can tell he’s been here for hours
already. Sweat runs in rivulets down his cheeks, wetting the
drum heads. His eyes are wide, glowing, focused...
He’s back to the life...
Ratings
Scene 54 - Unexpected Realizations
An empty theater. It’s one of Carnegie Hall’s theaters --
bigger and far sleeker than any of the theaters Studio Band
played. Ceiling decked with lights, capacity 1200. On the
stage, rehearsing, is a JAZZ ORCHESTRA.
Similar set-up to Studio Band, the PLAYERS all young pros --
except, of course, Andrew, the youngest of all.
Pink (9/10/2013) 91
The chart is WHIPLASH JVC REHEARSAL, and the band sounds tight.
The players reach the end -- and Fletcher looks at his watch.
Composed, even mild.
FLETCHER
Rest up, gang. Call-time Sunday is 6.
(and, as he heads off,)
Andrew.
(Andrew turns)
Good job.
Andrew takes this in. The latest in a long line of
surprises...
The PLAYERS pack up. Andrew, trying to work past his
shyness--
ANDREW
Hope that was ok.
BASSIST
Yeah. You sounded good.
ANDREW
Thanks. You too.
(then,)
Is there...anything you worked out with
the previous guy that I should know?
BASSIST
Previous guy?
ANDREW
The previous drummer.
The BASSIST looks at him: What?
BASSIST
Last week we rehearsed without drums.
You’re the only drummer we’ve ever had.
Beat. He walks off. Andrew stands there. Confused...
97 OMITTED 97
Ratings
Scene 55 - Preparation and Rejection
Andrew enters. Eyes his drums. Then -- he has a thought.
Pink (9/10/2013) 91A
He pulls out his phone. Hesitates. Nervous -- but excited now.
He dials. We hear ringing, he feels his heart thumping, he nods
to himself, starts walking forward, breathes in, and then,
after a few seconds --
Pink (9/10/2013) 92
NICOLE (O.S.)
Hello?
ANDREW
(pacing, stomach clenching, it’s
been so long--)
Hey... It’s...it’s Andrew.
Silence on the other end. Then--
NICOLE (O.S.)
Oh. Hey.
ANDREW
I -- I just figured I’d call -- it’s been
forever, and I... I’m really sorry about
how I... I’m just so sorry... How I
acted... You know...
(a beat; she doesn’t respond;
he sits down, trying to get
the words out--)
And I -- I didn’t know if you knew -- I’m
playing JVC this weekend... Maybe you’d
like to come? We could grab pizza afterward
and complain about our schools again...
He chuckles. Then waits. Beat.
NICOLE (O.S.)
JV?
ANDREW
Uh -- no, JVC. It’s a jazz festival.
NICOLE (O.S.)
Oh. Yeah.
Another beat. Then--
NICOLE (O.S.) (CONT’D)
When is it?
ANDREW
It’s next Friday.
NICOLE (O.S.)
Ok... I don’t know, I’ll check with my
boyfriend.
Beat. WE CUT to a CLOSE-UP of Andrew as he takes this in. You
can tell -- the word hits him hard.
Pink (9/10/2013) 93
ANDREW
...Got it.
(silence; then--)
Well... Cool. Maybe I’ll see you there.
NICOLE (O.S.)
Yeah, I’ll check. I don’t think he likes
jazz though. I’ll check.
ANDREW
Cool... Thanks.
Nicole hangs up. You can see it in Andrew’s eyes -- real
disappointment. Real hurt. And surprise at how hurt he feels.
He eyes his drums again. Sits down at them --
-- and STARTS PRACTICING LIKE MAD. Pouring his anger, his hurt,
into his playing.
The SOUNDS of FURIOUS DRUMMING build, continuing through the
following--
99 OMITTED 99
100 OMITTED 100
100A OMITTED 100A
100B INT. ANDREW’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY 100B
Andrew sliding into his slacks. Buttons his white button-
down. Slides on his black jacket. Ties his tie...
Pink (9/10/2013) 94
101 INT. FLETCHER’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY 101
Fletcher slipping into his own suit. Elegant, fastidious. Looks
like an old-school bandleader. But there’s something melancholy
about the sight of him -- going through his pre-concert rituals
all alone...
He straightens his tie. De-lints the suit. He’s tidy, über-
careful. He passes by his piano, pauses to play a melody on
the keys. Grabs his music folder and heads to the door...
102 OMITTED 102
102A INT. ANDREW’S APARTMENT - BATHROOM - DAY 102A
Andrew clips his nails, applies ointment to his hands, then
wraps each finger in a Band-Aid.
Ratings
Scene 56 - The Tension Before the Performance
EVENING
Fletcher ignoring several passing CABS, enters a SUBWAY
STATION...
104 EXT. NEW YORK STREET - CARNEGIE HALL - DUSK 104
Andrew emerging from a SUBWAY STATION. Murmuring to himself,
tapping on his knees. The clock’s ticking...
He checks his phone, picks up speed, almost breaks into a jog...
The DRUMMING BUILDS, he goes FASTER and FASTER, until,
finally --
-- as the DRUMMING CUTS OUT --
-- he comes to a sudden stop.
He’s standing right in front of CARNEGIE HALL. A giant banner
hangs above the main steps: “JVC IN NYC: JAZZ!” And, keeping
out of sight --
-- Fletcher. Strolling up the side-steps around the corner,
hidden from the crowd. Andrew sees him. Follows.
Pink (9/10/2013) 95
Ratings
Scene 57 - Anticipation in the Green Room
The scene is more or less what we saw before Studio Band
competitions -- only taken to eleven. A rush of MUSICIANS,
STAGE HANDS and TECHNICIANS backstage, a swell of TUNING as
TRUMPETERS, TROMBONISTS and SAXOPHONISTS join in. Andrew
stands back. Checks his phone. 7:28. It’s almost time. He
gazes around.
105A INT. ZANKEL HALL - GREEN ROOM STAIRCASE - MOMENTS LATER 105A
Andrew peers out through a door, catching a glimpse of the
MAIN HALL.
105B INT. ZANKEL HALL - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS 105B
Andrew sees the AUDIENCE milling. Sees a face he recognizes in
the crowd, small in the distance. JIM.
105C INT. ZANKEL HALL - GREEN ROOM STAIRCASE - CONTINUOUS 105C
Andrew smiles at the sight. Feeling confident, ready to prove
himself at last. He walks back down the stairs toward the green
room.
Ratings
Scene 58 - The Pressure of Performance
Andrew and the Studio Band listen to Fletcher’s speech.
FLETCHER
Alright, gang, listen up! 15 seconds to
get into places. For those of you who are
new to this, it’s very simple: do well
tonight, and the world will open up for
you. The folks out there, they make a
phone call and you’re a Lincoln Center
core. Or a Blue Note signee. Or an EMC
client. Drop the ball, and I’d suggest
switching careers -- because the other
thing about those cats is they never
forget.
Andrew takes this in. Beat. A STAGE HAND appears, waves. Time.
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
On that note -- break a leg.
The PLAYERS proceed on-stage. Andrew takes a deep breath,
tries to keep his cool, and, counting in his head, walks
forward --
Pink (9/10/2013) 96
Ratings
Scene 59 - The Disastrous Performance
The stage is decked in blue lights. The instruments gleam.
Beyond it, a yawning expanse of black. The audience... And a
hush, an undercurrent of murmurs and whispers gathering
steam, as each PLAYER takes to the stage, one by one...
Then -- APPLAUSE. 1200 people’s worth of applause. Fletcher
appears, taking his spot, smiling. The applause swells up.
And then -- Fletcher turns around to face Andrew. He stares
at him for what seems like a full minute. Comes up to him,
making as though helping him position a microphone over the
drum kit, and, leaning in, quietly, discreetly, menacingly--
FLETCHER
It was you.
The lights shift. Blue to bright, harsh, near-blinding yellow.
It’s showtime. Andrew is completely still.
ANDREW
...Was...was me what...?
FLETCHER
(then, leaning in even closer,)
Why do you think I invited you here? I’ve
known it was you all along.
Beat. He lets it sink in. Retreats to his spot, smiling at
Andrew. Then, off Andrew’s paralyzed stare, he turns to the
audience. They APPLAUD. A few seconds later...silence. Then--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We’re
going to start things off with an old
favorite of mine.
Andrew, his heart in his throat, looks at his sheet music.
“WHIPLASH”. Holds his sticks tight, but his hands are now
slippery with sweat... Fletcher waits. More silence...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
It’s called “Upswingin’”.
ON ANDREW. What?
Andrew turns to his left and catches a glimpse of the
SAXOPHONISTS’ sheet music. Written on the top: “UPSWINGIN’”. He
turns right, sees the BASSIST’s music. Ditto. He looks ahead.
And there’s Fletcher -- staring right back at him. And smiling.
Pink (9/10/2013) 97
Andrew turns around. Has to stop this. Can’t ruin it for the
other PLAYERS -- but Fletcher has already raised his hand for
the cue. Andrew rises from his seat -- when the BASSIST
glares at him: What are you doing? And just then -- within
that same split-second --
-- Fletcher’s index finger bends down.
The cue.
The BAND EXPLODES into UPSWINGIN’. Horns blasting, saxes
wailing -- fast, furious, half-Latin and half-swing. Andrew
doesn’t even play at first -- doesn’t want to destroy this. But
glares quickly follow, and he has no choice...
He plays. Trains his ears to try to stay on target... But the
time signature is impossible to get a firm grip on... He
misses a fill... Then the time signature changes... He can’t
keep up... Then the band gives way to rubato piano... He stops
late... Then the band surges back in... He comes in late...
He’s driving completely blind.
BASSIST
(clenched teeth to Andrew)
The fuck?! Come on...
Andrew, desperate, tries to fix things -- but he can’t.
Sliding further and further behind. PLAYERS eying him. You
can almost hear MURMURS in the audience, rising in volume...
And, through it all, Fletcher seems serene.
Andrew misses yet another break, and--
BASSIST (CONT’D)
Are you fucking kidding me?
This hits Andrew like a knife. Tears well up in his eyes. This
performance is already so far beyond saving...
Another missed hit. More MURMURS in the audience, louder and
louder now, as the number veers, swerves, and sloppily
staggers to its close... A swell of horns, a misplaced crash
of cymbals, what seems like a fermata... Andrew stops -- just
as the band RESUMES. And just as Andrew resumes -- the band
STOPS.
Andrew’s playing alone. He quickly moves to silence his
drums. The chart is done.
And now -- the deafening silence.
No applause. Just the sound softly rippling and settling from
Andrew’s last cymbal hit...
Pink (9/10/2013) 98
Andrew sits at his set, in tears. Fletcher stays still. Looks
at Andrew. On Fletcher’s face, the look of a victor... As he
turns back to the audience we hear...
...a smattering of polite, muted applause trickling
throughout the theater. Quiet, half-hearted, pitiful.
No one here has ever seen a disaster quite like that before.
IN THE AUDIENCE
We see Jim, standing in the very back, by the doors...
Mortified, heading for the hall...
ON STAGE
Fletcher sashays back to the drum set. To Andrew, with a grin--
FLETCHER
I guess you don’t have it.
Andrew is still in his seat. Tears stinging his cheeks...
BASSIST
Didn’t you get the fucking chart?
Andrew looks at the Bassist. Realizes what Fletcher did... Sees
the other MUSICIANS glaring at him, infuriated...
IN THE AUDIENCE
Andrew feels the AUDIENCE staring at him -- can almost make out
their faces as the stage lights begin to DIM...
Seated in one of the front rows -- is NICOLE. We see that next
to her, holding her hand, is a YOUNG MAN...
ON STAGE
Feeling CRUSHED, HUMILIATED, NAUSEATED, Andrew staggers up...
...and RETREATS to the back of the stage. Out of the audience’s
view -- about to leave this all behind once and for all...
Ratings
Scene 60 - Defiance and Triumph
Jim running... Down the hall... Toward the entrance to
backstage...
Pink (9/10/2013) 99
108 INT. ZANKEL HALL - STAGE - CONTINUOUS 108
Back to Andrew... Retreating BACKSTAGE...
...when he sees -- around the corner of the backstage entrance --
-- his father.
IN THE WINGS
Jim has just arrived at the entryway. Looks at Andrew. Hurries
toward him. Is going to put an end to this. Andrew looks at
his dad for a moment, approaching. Jim reaches him --
-- and HUGS him.
JIM
I love you. I’m so sorry this is
happening to you.
Andrew looks at his dad. Something seems to click inside him at
that instant.
He pulls back. The desperation in his eyes giving way to
something else. Jim watches Andrew as Andrew steps backward,
before...
...a pair of STAGE HANDS arrive.
STAGE HAND
Sir, you can’t be here--
JIM
Yes I can, I’m taking him with me--
STAGE HAND
(to Andrew)
You know each other?
Andrew is silent for a moment. Still. As though it has just
dawned on him.
He takes in the sight -- his dad, dwarfed by the Stage Hands,
reaching out to him. Jim has never looked quite so small to his
son, quite so pathetic, as at this moment.
A beat. More silence. And then --
ANDREW
No.
Jim goes wide-eyed. Utterly shocked. Andrew steps further
back, as the STAGE HANDS move to pull Jim away--
Pink (9/10/2013) 100
STAGE HAND
Alright, sir, that’s enough--
JIM
My -- my son -- I need to get my son--
STAGE HAND
Let’s calm down--
JIM
(frantic now--)
Andrew!!
Andrew calmly turns his back to his father and coldly heads to
the stage.
JIM (CONT’D)
Andrew!!!
ON STAGE
Andrew grabs new sticks, makes as though he was just switching
pairs and never leaving, and, ignoring his father’s calls from
behind -- trains his eyes back on Fletcher.
Fletcher looks at Andrew. Seems pleased: This will be fun...
But Andrew doesn’t look scared anymore. Instead, his eyes are
glassy, hollowed out -- and hungry... There’s a rage in them
that we haven’t seen before... This will not be the end...
FLETCHER
(to the audience)
Thank you... For our final number we’re
bringing it back to Ellington. This is
“Caravan”.
But then, before Fletcher can even turn back around -- let alone
cue the band -- Andrew launches into a double-time Latin.
Alone, his stick beating away at the ride cymbal, setting the
tempo for the rest of the band. Everyone looks at him. What
the fuck...? He has started on his own, before any cue,
beating the drums as though vengefully.
Fletcher glares at him. Who the fuck do you think you are? But
Andrew just keeps playing. Knows exactly what he’s doing and is
not about to be stopped. Building in his eyes -- that same
coiled rage... To the BASSIST--
ANDREW
Follow me on four.
Pink (9/10/2013) 101
The BASSIST has no choice. Andrew nods in time as a count-off,
and the BASSIST joins in. Now we’ve got the bass and drums
playing, laying out the beat. Andrew looks back at Fletcher.
Drills into him with his eyes -- the kind of look Fletcher has so
often given him. And, subtly, so that only Fletcher can see it,
Andrew mouths out two words:
ANDREW (CONT’D)
Fuck. You.
It hits Fletcher. Realizing he too has no choice, Fletcher eyes
the rest of the band. Raises his hands, re-assuming control --
or trying to make as though he has control -- and cues them in.
The BAND begins CARAVAN PLUS DRUM SOLO CARNEGIE HALL, plays the
opening patterns, Andrew matching them beat for beat.
Fletcher then edges toward Andrew. His back turned to the
audience, only Andrew can see his face, he leans in and--
FLETCHER
I will gouge out your eyes you motherfucker.
--but Andrew promptly DROWNS HIM OUT with a crash cymbal hit.
Another “fuck you”. Fletcher’s words only seem to strengthen him.
The band roars into overdrive, the brass blasting away, Andrew
giving everything he’s got. Fletcher steps back. Andrew just
keeps looking straight ahead at him. Unafraid now. A machine.
SOLOS begin... TROMBONE is up first... WE MOVE IN CLOSE to
Andrew... He looks at his right arm... It’s still going... He
himself seems surprised. He takes a chance -- plays a tricky
fill. Nails it. Goes again -- the off-beat hi-hat accent that
tripped him up in his first Studio Band rehearsal. Nails it.
The audience is silent... No murmurs this time... Back to
Andrew... WE DRIFT DOWN TO HIS FEET... His right foot feathering
the bass drum so fast all we can see is a blur...
WE DRIFT BACK UP... His left hand... Notes popping on the
snare, the toms... Both his arms battered but utterly
determined, as though with minds of their own... He breathes,
breathes, beating against his fears, his doubts...
He’s in control, pouring himself into his drums -- and it’s a
sight to behold. Like a master dancer, movements so fast yet
precise, brash yet elegant... Violent, frenetic playing, but
there’s something gorgeous about it...
WE DRIFT TO FLETCHER... Still glaring at Andrew -- but his
face now says one thing and one thing only: This is playing
he has never seen before.
Pink (9/10/2013) 102
The brass starts giving way to drum breaks... And Andrew
makes of each break a stunner... His double-stroke rolls rip-
roaring across the toms, his feet and legs switching rhythms,
meters, tempos, then careening back into place... All limbs
moving in a sustained frenzy, sweat splashing, mouth open,
eyes blazing, the whole set vibrating, then shaking, looks
like it’s about to explode...
Fletcher turns an inch toward the AUDIENCE... Sees them
transfixed...
AT THE LOBBY DOORS
...Jim watches through the opened lobby doors...
ON STAGE
The number is at a peak... And Fletcher, like so many, is now
just watching Andrew... The band nears the coda... The
melody, the rat-a-tat-tat patterns, the squealing horns and
growling saxes... The drums pushing it all forward...
Fletcher almost smiles. Was this his plan all along...?
He moves his arms, conducting again... The band reaches the
final bar... The final note... He raises his hands... Sustains
the note... Swings his arm down... A BLAST of horns. And the
band is finished.
Except, that is, for the drums. Andrew’s still playing,
launching into an extended solo...
Fletcher looks at him. Confused now. Goes up to the drums--
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Andrew -- Andrew--
ANDREW
(over his playing)
I’ll cue the band... Wait for my cue...
There’s nothing more Fletcher can do. Andrew’s playing grows
louder, more involved, all four limbs joining in, the sound
growing bigger and bigger... He has effectively taken over
the stage -- and all the other PLAYERS can do is watch... He
is the bandleader.
Andrew looks ahead... Past Fletcher... To the darkness... To
the audience... He leans forward, closes his eyes, dives in...
Sticks whirling, arms and legs belting and hammering, his
head bobbing up and down, his back arched... Keeps the
rudiments going on his left hand... Adds one ingredient, then
another... Then a third, then a fourth...
Pink (9/10/2013) 103
Keeps adding and building and piling on, beyond anything he’s
ever attempted... Going absolutely batshit-insane on the kit,
sweat flying, hands blurring, drums trembling...
AT THE LOBBY DOORS
Jim watches Andrew -- crazed, exhausted, looks like he’s
pushing himself past what is safe -- and knows there is
no longer anything he can do about it.
He has lost.
And then -- one of the USHERS steps forward from the edge
of the stage. He looks at Jim -- and closes the doors,
blocking Jim’s view.
We linger on Jim for a moment -- behind the closed door, in
silence.
ON STAGE
Back to Andrew -- at the height of intensity... Keeps his
eyes closed... Feeling his way through this... Shooting back
into the double-time... But trying to go even faster than
before... Not 330... Not even 400... Trying, trying, trying
to reach that mythical place, the place where only the greats
live... 410... 420... Even 430...
Fletcher stands still... His eyes widening... He’s no longer
calculating... Not even thinking... He’s just awed.
Murmurs throughout the AUDIENCE... Audible, even over the
roar of the drum set... They can’t believe it...
435 now... 440... 443...
Which means those sticks are moving faster than a tennis ball
shot across a court... Faster than Andrew has ever moved...
Faster...faster...and, finally...
...450.
Andrew OPENS HIS EYES... He’s in disbelief. The stage is his.
He owns it. He breaks back into snare-based patterns, rolling
around the toms, the cymbals...
Fletcher is floored. Turns, sees something extraordinary out
there, just visible in the darkness of the theater...
IN THE AUDIENCE
AUDIENCE MEMBERS turning to each other... A line-up of suit-
and-tie spectators whipping out phones or pads...
Pink (9/10/2013) 104
MANAGERS, JOURNALISTS, A&R EXECS, BANDLEADERS... A few
hurrying out, as though in a mad rush, making frantic calls...
More people peering INTO THE THEATER through glass doors...
ON STAGE
We TURN BACK to Andrew -- his ears start RINGING... The NOISE
grows with each hit, drowning out all the other noises...
Andrew clenches his jaw, closes his eyes again, keeps
playing, tries to ignore it... Plays harder, louder, pounding
away...
Andrew’s kick drum starts to slide from the power of his
playing... His sheet music falls off its stand... His
crash cymbal almost falls over -- but a HAND reaches in
to steady it.
It’s Fletcher. Leaning over the drum set now -- and, for
almost the first time on-stage, not cursing or snarling at
Andrew, but instead--
FLETCHER
Take it back to the snare...
Andrew considers this. It’s a good idea. He moves back to the
snare...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Slow...
(Andrew does as suggested)
Single-stroke...
Andrew nods again... Slowly simmers the beat down... Lets his
hi-hat hang open for a moment... Everything goes quiet...
Silence for a second... You can feel the hush, the
anticipation, that indescribable electricity in the air...
Fletcher looks at Andrew, looks at his sticks, face brimming
with hope now... Andrew begins a series of slow, clean snare
hits... Right stroke, left stroke, right, left...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Up... Up...
Andrew nods... Ever so gradually builds up the pace... Right,
left, right, left... Builds up the pace some more... Right,
left, right, left... Keeps going... Speeds up more, a hair at
a time... Right, left... Speeds up more.. Right, left...
Fletcher stands there, nodding, focused, like a coach at the
critical moment. Waves his hand, pushing Andrew on...
Pink (9/10/2013) 105
Andrew builds the tempo more, right, left, right, left, the
strokes blurring into each other, the whole thing sounding
like the fire of a machine gun, like what we heard in the
beginning... Right-left-right-left-right-left...
And, before we know it, we can no longer make out the
individual strokes. They’re so fast that all we can hear is a
single SOUND, sustained and growing in volume...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Come on... Come on...
Andrew, goaded on, builds the volume. His single-stroke roll
swelling, taking over the entire theater...
FLETCHER (CONT’D)
Come on...!! Come on!!!
Andrew builds it further... Going beyond what even he’d
planned for himself -- his arms like machines, the single-
stroke roll building steam and power and pinning the audience
in their seats... Fletcher raising his hands, beckoning
Andrew forward... He and the drummer working together, player
and conductor, competitor and coach...
Andrew moves to the toms, then back to the snare, then back.
The bass drum and hi-hat next, every part of the set joining in,
every limb, every component, everything building up, up, up...
It’s unlike anything we’ve ever seen... Andrew tearing a hole
through the stage, his heartbeat racing, the sweat pouring from
him like a waterfall, blood gushing from his hands and staining
the cymbals and drum-heads... Everything a BLUR...
Then -- a BLAST OF SEPARATED SNARE HITS -- and then -- Andrew
CHOKES the crash cymbal. A second of pure silence.
Fletcher looks at Andrew. Andrew looks at Fletcher. And then --
Fletcher turns to the band, raises his hand...
...and CUES THE FINAL NOTE.
The whole band roars it out, horns hitting their highest C’s,
and Andrew rolling around his drum set like a madman, cymbals
and snare and toms and the entire apparatus about to burst, as
WE DIVE IN CLOSE TO HIM, his instrument, his sticks, his face,
all sweat and eyes about to pop, the next Buddy Rich, the next
Charlie Parker -- Fletcher’s only Charlie Parker -- decking
the stage with a climactic crash of cymbals right as, on that
very last hit of hits, we--
SMASH CUT TO BLACK.
THE END
Ratings
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
| Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
|---|---|---|---|
| andrew neiman | Andrew's character arc follows his journey from a nervous and insecure young drummer to a more confident and resilient musician. At the beginning of the screenplay, he is filled with self-doubt and fear of failure, struggling to navigate the intense expectations of his music school. As he faces the harsh realities of Fletcher's teaching methods and the competitive environment, Andrew undergoes significant transformation. He learns to confront his fears and embrace the pressure, ultimately finding inner strength and a clearer sense of purpose. By the end of the screenplay, Andrew emerges as a more assertive and self-assured individual, having developed a deeper understanding of his passion for music and what it means to truly excel. | While Andrew's character arc is compelling, it may benefit from deeper exploration of his emotional journey. The transformation from insecurity to confidence is present, but the screenplay could delve more into the nuances of his internal conflicts and how they affect his relationships with others, particularly with Fletcher and his peers. Additionally, the impact of his ambition on his personal life and mental health could be more thoroughly examined to create a more rounded character. | To improve Andrew's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that highlight his relationships outside of music, such as with family or friends, to provide context for his ambition and struggles. This could help the audience understand the stakes of his journey better. Additionally, showcasing moments of vulnerability and reflection, where Andrew confronts the consequences of his relentless pursuit of excellence, could add depth to his character. Finally, introducing a mentor or supportive figure who contrasts with Fletcher could provide a counterbalance to Andrew's experiences and further enrich his development. |
| fletcher |
|
Fletcher's character arc is compelling, showcasing the duality of his nature as both a mentor and an antagonist. However, the arc could benefit from a clearer transformation. While he exhibits moments of vulnerability, the resolution feels somewhat abrupt and lacks a strong emotional payoff. The audience may struggle to fully empathize with him if his change is not adequately developed throughout the narrative. | To improve Fletcher's character arc, consider incorporating more scenes that explore his backstory and motivations, providing context for his harsh methods. Additionally, allow for gradual changes in his behavior, showing small steps toward empathy and understanding before the climax. This could involve moments where he reflects on his past experiences or interacts with students in a more supportive manner. A more nuanced resolution, where Fletcher acknowledges his flaws and actively seeks to change his approach, would create a more satisfying and believable character development. |
| andrew |
|
While Andrew's character arc is compelling, it may benefit from deeper exploration of his relationships outside of music, particularly with family and friends. His intense focus on drumming often overshadows other aspects of his life, which could lead to a more well-rounded character. Additionally, the transition from vulnerability to empowerment could be more gradual, allowing for a more nuanced portrayal of his growth. |
|
| jim | Throughout the screenplay, Jim undergoes a significant character arc. Initially, he is portrayed as a supportive yet subtly critical father, struggling to connect with Andrew and facing the weight of his own regrets. As the story progresses, Jim learns to confront his own past and the impact it has on his relationship with Andrew. He evolves from a protective figure who inadvertently stifles Andrew's independence to a more understanding and encouraging presence. By the climax, Jim embraces vulnerability, allowing for open communication with Andrew, which ultimately strengthens their bond. In the resolution, Jim finds peace with his own unfulfilled dreams, recognizing that supporting Andrew means allowing him to forge his own path. | While Jim's character is well-developed and relatable, his arc could benefit from more explicit moments of growth and realization. The tension in his relationship with Andrew is compelling, but it may feel somewhat static if not punctuated by key turning points that showcase his transformation. Additionally, Jim's protective nature could be explored further to illustrate how it both helps and hinders Andrew's development. | To enhance Jim's character arc, consider incorporating pivotal scenes where he confronts his own fears and regrets, perhaps through a significant event that forces him to reflect on his parenting style. Adding moments where Jim actively listens to Andrew's aspirations without imposing his own expectations could illustrate his growth. Furthermore, including a climactic confrontation or heartfelt conversation between Jim and Andrew could serve as a catalyst for change, allowing Jim to express his vulnerabilities and ultimately leading to a more profound reconciliation between father and son. |
| terence fletcher | Throughout the screenplay, Fletcher's character arc evolves from a strict and uncompromising teacher to a more nuanced figure who grapples with the consequences of his methods. Initially, he is portrayed as a tyrant who believes that only through extreme pressure can greatness be achieved. However, as the story progresses, Fletcher faces the repercussions of his harsh tactics, leading to moments of self-reflection. By the climax, he is forced to confront the impact of his actions on Andrew and himself, ultimately revealing a more vulnerable side that questions the morality of his teaching philosophy. This arc culminates in a confrontation that challenges both Fletcher and Andrew to redefine their understanding of success and mentorship. | Fletcher's character arc is compelling but could benefit from deeper exploration of his motivations and backstory. While his strict demeanor is established early on, the screenplay could enhance his complexity by providing more context for his behavior. This would allow the audience to understand the roots of his uncompromising nature and the personal stakes involved in his teaching philosophy. Additionally, the resolution of his arc feels somewhat abrupt; a more gradual transformation or a clearer moment of realization could strengthen the emotional impact of his character's journey. | To improve Fletcher's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or dialogue that reveals his past experiences and the reasons behind his harsh teaching methods. This could include moments that showcase his own struggles as a musician or a mentor, providing a more empathetic view of his character. Additionally, introducing a pivotal moment where Fletcher must choose between his teaching philosophy and the well-being of his students could create a more profound internal conflict. Finally, allowing for a more gradual evolution in his character, perhaps through interactions with other characters or moments of vulnerability, would enhance the depth of his arc and make his eventual transformation more impactful. |
| nicole | Nicole's character arc begins with her as a seemingly indifferent girl who hides her complexities behind a playful facade. Throughout the screenplay, she gradually opens up to Andrew, revealing her insecurities and desire for genuine connection. As she navigates her feelings for Andrew, she confronts her fears of vulnerability and the potential conflicts between love and ambition. By the climax, Nicole asserts her need for emotional stability and challenges Andrew to consider the impact of his ambitions on their relationship. Ultimately, she evolves into a more emotionally honest and assertive individual, embracing her vulnerabilities and seeking a balance between her personal aspirations and her romantic life. | Nicole's character arc is compelling, showcasing her growth from indifference to emotional honesty. However, her initial aloofness may come off as too detached, making it difficult for the audience to connect with her early on. While her complexity is intriguing, the screenplay could benefit from more moments that highlight her internal struggles and motivations earlier in the story. This would create a stronger emotional foundation for her character development and make her eventual transformation more impactful. | To improve Nicole's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or internal monologues that reveal her past experiences and insecurities earlier in the screenplay. This would provide context for her initial aloofness and make her journey toward vulnerability more relatable. Additionally, adding scenes that showcase her interactions with other characters could further develop her empathetic side and highlight her desire for genuine connections. Finally, ensure that her challenges regarding ambition and love are clearly defined, allowing for a more nuanced exploration of her character's conflicts and growth. |
| carl | Carl's character arc follows his journey from a frustrated and angry musician to a more vulnerable and introspective individual. Initially, he is consumed by his perfectionism and the pressure to succeed, leading to conflicts with Andrew and Fletcher. As the story unfolds, Carl's experiences force him to confront his insecurities and the toxic dynamics within the band. By the climax, he reaches a breaking point, which leads to a moment of self-realization. Ultimately, Carl learns to balance his ambition with self-acceptance, finding a healthier perspective on competition and collaboration within the band. | While Carl's character arc is compelling, it risks being overshadowed by the more dominant characters, particularly Andrew and Fletcher. His emotional struggles are significant, but they could be further developed to create a more nuanced portrayal. The screenplay could benefit from deeper exploration of Carl's backstory and motivations, which would enhance audience empathy and understanding of his actions. Additionally, his transformation could be more gradual, allowing for moments of growth and setbacks that make his journey feel more authentic. | To improve Carl's character arc, consider incorporating flashbacks or dialogue that reveals his past experiences with music and competition, providing context for his perfectionism. Introduce scenes that showcase his interactions with other band members outside of conflict, allowing for moments of camaraderie that highlight his complexity. Additionally, create a pivotal moment where Carl must choose between sabotaging Andrew or supporting him, which could serve as a catalyst for his growth. Finally, ensure that Carl's resolution is not just about acceptance but also about finding his own voice and place within the band, emphasizing the theme of collaboration over rivalry. |
Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:
| Pattern | Explanation |
|---|---|
| The Emotional Core: High Emotional Impact Scores Correlate with Intense and Emotional Tones | Scenes with an 'Emotional Impact' score of 9 or 10 overwhelmingly feature tones described as 'Intense' and/or 'Emotional'. This suggests a strong and consistent relationship: when the screenplay aims for significant emotional resonance, it leans heavily into intensity and emotional states. This is evident from scene 15 onwards, where the 'Emotional' tone becomes a frequent descriptor for high-impact scenes. Notably, scenes with 'Emotional Impact' of 10 (e.g., 15, 16, 18, 20, 21, 23, 24, 25, 30, 32, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 41, 42, 43, 44, 59, 60) almost always include 'Intense' and 'Emotional' in their tone descriptions. |
| High Stakes Drive Story Momentum | A strong positive correlation exists between 'High stakes' and 'Move story forward'. Scenes with 'High stakes' rated 9 or 10 consistently receive a high score for 'Move story forward' (8 or 9). This indicates that the author effectively leverages moments of elevated stakes to propel the narrative. This pattern is particularly pronounced in the latter half of the screenplay, where many scenes are rated 9 or 10 for both metrics (e.g., scenes 10, 13, 15, 16, 18, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 30, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 41, 42, 43, 44, 46, 47, 48, 51, 52, 53, 55, 57, 58, 59, 60). |
| Character Change is Often Tied to Intense or Emotional Scenes | While not every scene with a high 'Character Changes' score also has an 'Intense' or 'Emotional' tone, there's a discernible pattern. Scenes with 'Character Changes' scores of 8 or 9 (the highest ratings) frequently coincide with 'Intense' tones. Furthermore, the peak 'Character Changes' scores (9) often appear in scenes that are also rated highly for 'Emotional Impact' (e.g., scenes 15, 16, 18, 38, 52, 53, 56, 58, 60). This suggests that significant character evolution tends to happen within emotionally charged or heightened moments. |
| The 'Introspective' Tone Offers a Unique Space for Dialogue Excellence | Interestingly, scenes described with an 'Introspective' tone (e.g., scenes 2, 3, 5, 11, 12, 25, 27, 28, 48, 49, 52, 56, 58) often achieve high scores for 'Dialogue' (8 or 9). Scene 11, despite being rated low for 'Emotional Impact' and 'Conflict', still receives a 9 for Dialogue, highlighting this connection. This suggests that moments of introspection or reflection are effectively utilized for strong dialogue writing, perhaps allowing for more nuanced or meaningful exchanges. |
| Emotional Low Points: The Absence of 'Intense' or 'Emotional' Tones Can Correlate with Lower Emotional Impact and Character Change | Conversely, scenes that are not explicitly labeled 'Intense' or 'Emotional' tend to have lower scores for 'Emotional Impact' and 'Character Changes'. For example, scenes 49 and 50, with tones 'Sadness', 'Resignation', and 'Reflection', show significantly lower 'Emotional Impact' (3 and 6 respectively) and 'Character Changes' (6 and 8 respectively) compared to the average. This reinforces the idea that the author's go-to tools for impact and change are intensity and overt emotionality. |
| Dialogue Quality is Consistently High, Even in Less Intense Scenes | Across the board, the 'Dialogue' score is remarkably consistent, with most scenes receiving an 8 or 9. This indicates a strong and reliable command of dialogue throughout the screenplay. Even in scenes with lower 'Emotional Impact' or 'Character Changes', the dialogue often remains strong. This is a significant strength that the author may not be fully aware of due to the consistent high ratings across a wide variety of scene tones. |
| The 'Awkward' Tone Introduces a Specific Type of Scene | The presence of 'Awkward' in the tone (scenes 5, 8) correlates with slightly lower 'High stakes' and 'Conflict' scores compared to 'Intense' scenes. Scene 5 has a 'Conflict' of 7 and 'High stakes' of 8, while scene 8 has 'Conflict' of 6 and 'High stakes' of 7. This suggests that 'awkward' moments, while potentially good for character interaction, might be less effective for escalating plot tension or immediate danger in this particular script. |
| Peak Dramatic Moments: A Convergence of Intense Tone, High Emotional Impact, and Strong Plot/Character Scores | The highest-rated scenes (scores of 9 and 10 across multiple metrics) often feature a combination of 'Intense', 'Emotional', and 'Dramatic' tones. Scenes like 15, 16, 18, 20, 21, 23, 24, 25, 30, 32, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 41, 42, 43, 44, 59, and 60 demonstrate this convergence. These moments are not only emotionally charged but also strongly drive the plot and character development. The author excels at orchestrating these climactic sequences. |
| The Early Scenes Establish a Solid Foundation, but Intensity Escalates Significantly Later | While early scenes (1-10) are consistently good and show promise, the intensity and emotional stakes ramp up significantly from scene 15 onwards. The scores for 'Emotional Impact', 'Conflict', and 'High stakes' see a noticeable increase and sustainment in the latter half. This indicates a deliberate and effective escalation strategy in the screenplay's structure. |
| Vulnerability in Dialogue: Scene 11 as an Anomaly | Scene 11, described as 'Nervous', 'Reflective', 'Intimate', and 'Vulnerable', stands out due to its exceptionally low scores for 'Emotional Impact' (3) and 'Conflict' (2), despite a strong 'Dialogue' score (9). This suggests that while the author can craft intimate and vulnerable dialogue, these particular thematic elements, as written in this specific scene, did not translate into high emotional resonance or plot advancement as effectively as other approaches. This might be an area to re-examine for strengthening the impact of vulnerability. |
Writer's Craft Overall Analysis
The screenplay demonstrates a strong ability to craft intense and emotionally resonant scenes, particularly within the competitive and high-stakes environment of a music school. The writer excels at conveying internal and external conflicts, building tension through dialogue and action, and exploring themes of ambition, perfectionism, and self-discovery. Character dynamics are generally well-established, and there's a clear understanding of how to create engaging narrative arcs. The writing voice is often distinct and immersive, drawing the reader into the protagonist's journey. Areas for growth include further deepening character nuances, refining subtext in dialogue, and exploring more varied narrative structures and pacing.
Key Improvement Areas
Suggestions
| Type | Suggestion | Rationale |
|---|---|---|
| Book | Read 'Save the Cat! Writes a Novel' by Jessica Brody. | This book, while focused on novels, offers invaluable insights into character development, plot structure, and scene construction that are directly transferable to screenwriting. Its principles on creating compelling arcs and engaging moments can further enhance the writer's existing strengths. |
| Book | Read 'On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft' by Stephen King. | Stephen King's insights into character, dialogue, and the craft of storytelling are universally applicable. His emphasis on authenticity and emotional truth can help deepen the character nuances and subtext in the screenplay. |
| Screenplay | Study the screenplay for 'Whiplash' by Damien Chazelle. | This screenplay is a prime example of effectively portraying intense music school environments, high-stakes performance, and complex mentor-mentee dynamics. Analyzing its pacing, dialogue, and character arcs will provide direct inspiration for similar scenes in this script. |
| Screenplay | Study the screenplay for 'Lost in Translation' by Sofia Coppola. | This screenplay excels at conveying emotional depth and character development through subtle interactions and introspection, often with minimal dialogue. Analyzing its use of atmosphere, subtext, and quiet moments can help the writer explore these aspects further in their own work. |
| Video | Watch interviews or behind-the-scenes footage of directors and actors discussing intense performance scenes or character preparation. | Visual and auditory insights into the process of creating emotionally charged scenes can be invaluable. Observing how actors embody complex emotions and how directors guide performances can offer practical inspiration for translating such intensity onto the page. |
| Exercise | Practice writing dialogue-only scenes focusing on subtext and character conflict.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise will sharpen the writer's ability to convey underlying emotions, unspoken desires, and hidden tensions through dialogue alone. It will encourage a deeper exploration of character motivations and the art of showing rather than telling. |
| Exercise | Write character monologues from the perspective of key characters, exploring their deepest fears, aspirations, and unresolved conflicts.Practice In SceneProv | Monologues are an excellent tool for delving into a character's inner world. This practice will help the writer articulate and understand their characters' internal struggles more fully, leading to more authentic and impactful portrayals in the screenplay. |
| Exercise | Re-write a high-intensity scene, but deliberately slow down the pacing, focusing on smaller, more intimate character interactions and sensory details.Practice In SceneProv | This exercise aims to develop greater control over pacing and explore the emotional impact of quieter moments. It will help the writer understand how to build tension through atmosphere and subtle character beats, diversifying the narrative's rhythm. |
Stories Similar to this one
| Story | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Whiplash | The screenplay summary is for the film 'Whiplash' itself, which explores the intense relationship between a young drummer and his demanding music instructor. The themes of ambition, obsession, and the pursuit of excellence are central to both the screenplay and the film. |
| Black Swan | Similar to 'Whiplash', 'Black Swan' follows a young artist's obsessive pursuit of perfection in ballet, leading to psychological turmoil. Both stories depict the sacrifices made for artistic achievement and the impact of a demanding mentor. |
| The Social Network | This film chronicles the rise of Facebook and its founder, Mark Zuckerberg, highlighting themes of ambition, rivalry, and the personal costs of success. Like Andrew in 'Whiplash', Zuckerberg faces intense pressure and sacrifices personal relationships for his goals. |
| Amadeus | This film tells the story of composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and his rivalry with Antonio Salieri. It explores themes of genius, jealousy, and the sacrifices made for artistic greatness, paralleling Andrew's struggles with his own talent and the pressures of his mentor. |
| The Pursuit of Happyness | This film follows Chris Gardner's struggle to achieve success while facing immense personal challenges. Both stories emphasize perseverance, the pursuit of dreams, and the sacrifices made along the way, resonating with Andrew's journey in 'Whiplash'. |
| Birdman | This film explores the pressures of artistic performance and the quest for relevance in the entertainment industry. The protagonist's internal struggles and the impact of external expectations mirror Andrew's experiences with Fletcher and his own ambitions. |
| La La Land | This musical film follows two aspiring artists in Los Angeles as they navigate their careers and relationship. The themes of ambition, sacrifice, and the pursuit of dreams resonate with Andrew's journey in 'Whiplash', particularly in the context of artistic dedication. |
| The Devil Wears Prada | This film depicts the demanding relationship between a young assistant and her powerful boss in the fashion industry. The themes of ambition, personal sacrifice, and the cost of success parallel Andrew's experiences with Fletcher's intense mentorship. |
| A Star is Born | This film tells the story of a young artist's rise to fame and the challenges that come with it, including the impact of a mentor's influence. The exploration of ambition, talent, and personal relationships aligns closely with the themes in 'Whiplash'. |
Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay
| Trope | Trope Details | Trope Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| The Mentor | Fletcher serves as a mentor figure to Andrew, pushing him to his limits in pursuit of greatness. | The Mentor trope involves a character who guides and teaches the protagonist, often pushing them to achieve their potential. A classic example is Mr. Miyagi in 'The Karate Kid', who trains Daniel to become a skilled martial artist. |
| The Overbearing Teacher | Fletcher's harsh and abusive teaching style creates intense pressure on Andrew. | This trope features a teacher who is excessively demanding and often cruel, pushing students to their breaking point. An example is Professor Snape in 'Harry Potter', who is strict and often harsh with his students. |
| The Reluctant Hero | Andrew struggles with self-doubt and reluctance to embrace his ambition. | The Reluctant Hero is a character who is initially hesitant to take on the hero's journey or fulfill their potential. An example is Frodo Baggins in 'The Lord of the Rings', who is reluctant to leave the Shire and bear the burden of the One Ring. |
| The Love Interest | Nicole serves as Andrew's love interest, providing emotional support and conflict. | The Love Interest is a character who serves as a romantic counterpart to the protagonist, often creating tension or motivation. An example is Elizabeth Bennet in 'Pride and Prejudice', who has a complex relationship with Mr. Darcy. |
| The Rival | Ryan Connolly serves as Andrew's rival, creating competition and tension. | The Rival trope features a character who competes with the protagonist, often pushing them to improve. An example is Draco Malfoy in 'Harry Potter', who serves as Harry's rival throughout the series. |
| The Tragic Flaw | Andrew's obsessive drive for perfection leads to his downfall. | The Tragic Flaw is a character trait that ultimately leads to the protagonist's failure or downfall. An example is Hamlet's indecision, which leads to his tragic end. |
| The Breaking Point | Andrew reaches a breaking point during a rehearsal, leading to a dramatic confrontation. | The Breaking Point trope occurs when a character can no longer handle the pressure or stress, leading to a significant emotional or physical breakdown. An example is the character of Andy in 'The Shawshank Redemption', who reaches a breaking point in prison. |
| The Dark Mentor | Fletcher embodies the Dark Mentor trope, using fear and manipulation to control Andrew. | The Dark Mentor is a character who teaches the protagonist through harsh and often abusive methods, leading to moral ambiguity. An example is the character of Ra's al Ghul in 'Batman Begins', who trains Bruce Wayne through fear and violence. |
| The Sacrificial Lamb | Andrew sacrifices his relationships and well-being for his ambition. | The Sacrificial Lamb trope involves a character who gives up their happiness or well-being for a greater goal or ambition. An example is Katniss Everdeen in 'The Hunger Games', who sacrifices her safety for her sister's well-being. |
| Theme | Theme Details | Themee Explanation | ||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Pursuit of Greatness and Artistic Mastery | Andrew's unwavering, almost obsessive, dedication to becoming a great drummer drives the entire narrative. This is shown through his relentless practice, willingness to endure pain and humiliation, and ultimate rejection of personal relationships and conventional life in favor of his craft. Fletcher's philosophy also embodies this, pushing his students to their absolute limits. | This theme explores the inherent drive within some individuals to achieve an exceptional level of skill and recognition in their chosen field, often at great personal cost. It questions whether greatness can be achieved through sheer will and sacrifice, or if there are innate limitations. | ||||||||||||
Strengthening The Pursuit of Greatness and Artistic Mastery:
| ||||||||||||||
| Abusive Mentorship and the Price of Pushing Boundaries | Terence Fletcher's teaching methods are extreme and abusive, involving psychological manipulation, verbal abuse, and physical intimidation. While these methods push Andrew to unprecedented levels, they also cause immense psychological and physical damage. | This theme examines the complex and often damaging relationship between mentor and protégé, particularly when the mentor's methods are extreme. It questions whether such an approach, though potentially leading to extraordinary results, can be justified and what its long-term consequences are. | ||||||||||||
| The Nature of Talent vs. Hard Work | The screenplay explores whether true musical genius is innate (as suggested by the Buddy Rich documentary) or if it can be achieved through relentless practice and dedication. Andrew initially believes he lacks innate genius but through sheer effort, he aims to surpass those who might possess it naturally. | This theme delves into the age-old debate of whether success is determined by inherent ability or by diligent effort and perseverance. It investigates the interplay between natural aptitude and learned skill in achieving excellence. | ||||||||||||
| Sacrifice and Obsession | Andrew's life becomes consumed by drumming. He sacrifices relationships (Nicole, his family), sleep, physical well-being, and emotional stability in his relentless pursuit. This obsession ultimately leads to his isolation. | This theme focuses on the extreme measures individuals take when driven by a singular ambition, often to the detriment of other aspects of their lives. It highlights the fine line between dedication and destructive obsession. | ||||||||||||
| Family and Societal Expectations | Andrew's family, particularly his father Jim and extended family, often fail to understand or support his passion for drumming, prioritizing more conventional career paths. This creates external pressure and a sense of alienation for Andrew. | This theme explores the influence of family and societal norms on an individual's life choices and ambitions. It examines the pressure to conform to certain expectations and the challenges faced by those who pursue unconventional paths. | ||||||||||||
| The Cost of Perfectionism | Fletcher's relentless pursuit of perfection in his musicians leads to extreme measures. The band members, and especially Andrew, suffer immensely as a result of this uncompromising demand for flawlessness. | This theme examines the detrimental effects of an obsessive need for flawlessness. It explores how the pursuit of unattainable perfection can lead to psychological distress, burnout, and damaged relationships. | ||||||||||||
| Redemption and Moving Forward | Despite his ultimate failure at the final performance and expulsion, Andrew's final interaction with Fletcher suggests a potential for future collaboration and a move toward a healthier, albeit still intensely dedicated, path. | This theme explores the possibility of recovery and finding a new direction after significant failure or trauma. It suggests that even after hitting rock bottom, there can be opportunities for personal growth and renewed purpose. | ||||||||||||
| The Double-Edged Sword of Ambition | Andrew's ambition drives him to incredible feats, but it also isolates him, damages his relationships, and pushes him to self-destructive behavior. The screenplay questions whether the ultimate reward is worth the immense cost. | This theme analyzes how ambition, while a powerful motivator for achievement, can also lead to negative consequences when unchecked. It explores the potential for ambition to become all-consuming and detrimental to an individual's well-being. | ||||||||||||
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
| Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
| John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
| What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
| Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
| Voice Analysis | |
|---|---|
| Summary: | The writer's original voice is characterized by its sharp, concise, and impactful dialogue, which masterfully conveys character dynamics, power struggles, and underlying tension. This is coupled with vivid sensory descriptions that immerse the reader in the intense emotional and physical experiences of the characters, particularly Andrew. The narrative also employs a keen focus on the internal struggles and obsessive pursuits of the protagonist, balanced with moments of introspective contemplation. The direction emphasizes precise actions and potent silences, building suspense and highlighting unspoken emotions. Overall, the voice is one of raw intensity, authenticity, and a deep exploration of ambition, perfectionism, and the psychological toll of artistic pursuit. |
| Voice Contribution | The writer's voice contributes significantly to the overall mood, themes, and depth of the screenplay by creating a palpable sense of pressure, ambition, and psychological turmoil. It heightens the drama and stakes of Andrew's journey, making the audience feel the intensity of his practice, the fear of failure, and the exhilaration of success. The sharp dialogue and vivid descriptions inject authenticity into the competitive music world, while the focus on internal conflict adds psychological depth to the characters. The voice effectively underscores the themes of ambition, perfectionism, the cost of artistic excellence, and the complex mentor-mentee relationship. |
| Best Representation Scene | 18 - Isolation and Obsession |
| Best Scene Explanation | Scene 18 best showcases the author's unique voice due to its raw, unflinching portrayal of Andrew's relentless pursuit of perfection and the physical and emotional toll it exacts. The vivid sensory descriptions of his "blistered and bleeding hands" and the extreme metronome speed of "405" are powerful testaments to the writer's ability to immerse the reader in the protagonist's grueling practice. The narrative's focus on the internal and external pressures, coupled with the sparse yet impactful dialogue, perfectly encapsulates the voice's intensity, obsession, and the dark side of artistic ambition, which are central to the screenplay's themes. |
- Overall originality score: 8.5
- Overall originality explanation: The screenplay presents a fresh and nuanced exploration of the intense world of music education, particularly through the lens of the mentor-student dynamic. It delves into themes of ambition, self-discovery, and the psychological toll of pursuing excellence, all while maintaining authenticity in character interactions and emotional depth. The unique portrayal of the protagonist's struggles, the intense pressure from the mentor, and the depiction of the competitive music environment contribute to its originality. The screenplay effectively blends familiar tropes with innovative storytelling techniques, making it engaging and relatable.
- Most unique situations: The most unique situations in the screenplay are Andrew's extreme physical and emotional sacrifices for his art, such as breaking his finger to escape a car crash and continuing to perform despite severe injuries. Additionally, the intense psychological manipulation by Fletcher, including public humiliation and the exploration of the mentor's complex character, adds layers of originality. The climactic confrontation between Andrew and Fletcher, culminating in a triumphant yet chaotic performance, showcases a unique blend of personal and professional stakes that is rarely depicted in such a visceral manner.
- Overall unpredictability score: 9
- Overall unpredictability explanation: The screenplay is highly unpredictable, with numerous twists and turns that keep the audience engaged. Andrew's journey is filled with unexpected challenges, including his expulsion, the intense rivalry with fellow musicians, and the shocking revelations about Fletcher's past and methods. The climax, where Andrew confronts his mentor and ultimately takes control of his performance, defies conventional expectations of a straightforward narrative arc. The emotional depth and complexity of character relationships further enhance the unpredictability, as viewers are left guessing how Andrew will navigate his tumultuous path.
| Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
|---|---|
| internal Goals | Throughout the screenplay, Andrew's internal goals evolve from a desperate need for validation and recognition as a talented drummer to a more complex struggle with his identity, personal relationships, and self-worth. Initially, he seeks approval from his mentor, Fletcher, and peers, but as he faces relentless pressure and harsh realities, his goals expand to encompass personal integrity, self-discovery, and ultimately the decision to break away from the toxic environments that define his journey as a musician. |
| External Goals | Andrew's external goals primarily involve achieving recognition within the music community, securing a position in prestigious ensembles, and eventually performing at significant venues. Initially, these goals manifest as competing against peers like Ryan and seeking Fletcher's approval. However, they shift towards a focus on personal ambition, culminating in the desire to reclaim his spot in the band despite the setbacks he faces throughout the journey. |
| Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around the dichotomy of Artistic Integrity vs. Abusive Mentorship. This conflict intertwines with Andrew's journey as he grapples with the intense pressure of Fletcher's demanding style, questioning the sacrifices he must make for greatness against the potential need for a more humane approach to artistry. |
Character Development Contribution: The interplay of goals and conflict drives Andrew’s transformation from a nervous, insecure student into a confident, introspective artist. His experiences with both validation and criticism shape him, ultimately leading to a decision that aligns his identity with his passion rather than external pressures.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The character's journey unfolds through a series of escalating stakes both internally and externally, shaping the screenplay's structure. Each conflict fuels the narrative drive, leading Andrew toward higher intensity and culminating in a climactic moment that redefines his relationship with music and self.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The exploration of ambition, personal sacrifice, and the cost of greatness adds layers to the thematic depth of the screenplay. It raises questions about the nature of success in the arts, the value of mentorship, and the balance between personal drive and mental health.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
| Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
| Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
| Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
- Physical environment: The world is characterized by a stark contrast between claustrophobic, utilitarian institutional spaces (music rehearsal studios, dormitory hallways, basement practice rooms, school auditoriums, a car rental agency) and more intimate or public urban settings (movie theater lobbies, pizzerias, coffee shops, city streets, subway cars, apartments, and a seemingly prestigious concert hall like Carnegie Hall). There's a recurring sense of cramped, gritty, or imposing environments that reflect the pressure and intensity of the characters' lives. The urban setting of New York City is a constant backdrop, with its fast pace and impersonality contributing to the overall atmosphere.
- Culture: The dominant cultural element is the relentless pursuit of musical excellence, particularly in jazz. This is embodied by a culture of extreme dedication, ambition, and competitiveness within prestigious music conservatories like Shaffer. There's a deep reverence for jazz legends and their demanding artistic standards. This culture fosters a high-stakes environment where talent, practice, and a willingness to push boundaries are paramount, often at the expense of personal well-being and relationships. There's also a sub-culture of casual urban life, seen in movie theaters and pizzerias, which offers moments of respite or contrast to the intense musical world.
- Society: The societal structure is predominantly hierarchical, especially within the music institutions. Instructors like Fletcher wield immense power, dictating the careers and emotional states of their students through rigorous, often abusive, methods. There's a clear distinction between core members and alternates, with constant competition for limited opportunities. Beyond the music school, there are glimpses of generational divides (Andrew and his father) and differing societal values, with family members prioritizing conventional success over artistic passion. The urban society is portrayed as both isolating and offering potential connections, as seen in Andrew's interactions with Nicole and his father.
- Technology: Technology plays a supporting role, often enhancing the realism or intensity of the scenes. Musical instruments (drums, pianos, horns) are central to the narrative. Modern technology like iPhones, cell phones, and GPS devices facilitate communication, navigation, and the documentation of practice. The use of metronomes, both traditional and digital, highlights the importance of precision and timing. Older technologies like record players and CD players are present, referencing the history and evolution of music.
- Characters influence: The intense physical environment of practice rooms and rehearsal studios directly influences characters' actions, pushing them to extreme physical and emotional limits. The competitive culture fuels their ambition, driving them to sacrifice sleep, relationships, and physical health in pursuit of greatness. The hierarchical society, particularly Fletcher's influence, shapes characters' motivations, creating a dynamic of fear, respect, and a desperate desire for validation. Technology, while not always central, enables critical plot points like communication and navigation, impacting character choices and the pacing of the narrative.
- Narrative contribution: These world elements are intrinsically woven into the narrative, creating the central conflict and driving the plot forward. The pressure cooker environment of Shaffer and Fletcher's extreme teaching methods are the primary engines of conflict. The urban setting provides both opportunities and obstacles for the characters. The cultural obsession with musical perfection and the societal hierarchies create the high stakes and emotional rollercoaster that defines the story. The stark contrast between the intense musical world and mundane daily life allows for moments of character development and reflection.
- Thematic depth contribution: The world-building contributes significantly to the screenplay's thematic depth by exploring themes of ambition, sacrifice, mentorship (both healthy and toxic), the nature of genius, the cost of perfectionism, and the blurred lines between passion and obsession. The stark environments and relentless pressure highlight the psychological toll of extreme dedication. The cultural emphasis on legacy and greatness raises questions about the definition of success and the sacrifices required to achieve it. The interplay between traditional music education and modern life also touches on themes of evolution and adaptation within artistic fields.
central conflict
The central conflict revolves around Andrew's intense desire to achieve greatness as a drummer, which is pitted against the abusive and demanding nature of his instructor, Terence Fletcher, who uses extreme methods to push his students to their limits.
primary motivations
- Andrew's ambition to become a top drummer and prove himself.
- Fletcher's need to create exceptional musicians through harsh methods.
- Jim's desire to support his son while grappling with his own unfulfilled dreams.
catalysts
- Andrew's acceptance into the Studio Band, which raises the stakes for his performance.
- Fletcher's entrance into Andrew's life, introducing both mentorship and abuse.
- The pressure of competitions and performances that force Andrew to confront his limits.
barriers
- Fletcher's abusive teaching style that undermines Andrew's confidence.
- Andrew's physical injuries and mental strain from excessive practice.
- The skepticism and rivalry from fellow musicians, particularly Ryan and Carl.
themes
- The pursuit of excellence and the cost of ambition.
- The impact of mentorship and the fine line between guidance and abuse.
- The struggle for identity and self-worth in the face of external pressures.
stakes
The stakes include Andrew's future as a musician, his mental and physical well-being, and the potential for personal relationships to suffer due to his obsessive drive for success.
uniqueness factor
The story uniquely explores the dark side of ambition in the competitive world of music, highlighting the psychological and physical toll of striving for greatness.
audience hook
The intense emotional journey of Andrew, combined with the high-stakes environment of music competitions, keeps viewers engaged as they root for his success while fearing for his well-being.
paradoxical engine or bisociation
The paradox lies in Andrew's pursuit of greatness through self-destruction, where his drive to excel leads to both artistic triumph and personal ruin, creating a complex relationship with his mentor.
paradoxical engine or bisociation 2
Another aspect of bisociation is the juxtaposition of Andrew's passion for music against the harsh realities of Fletcher's teaching methods, illustrating the conflict between artistic integrity and the pursuit of perfection.
Pass / Consider / Recommend Analysis
GPT5
Executive Summary
- Relentless dramatic escalation and set-piece design: the screenplay stages musical rehearsal as battlefield, with escalating beats of humiliation, physicality and stakes (auditions → daily rehearsals → competitions → Carnegie). The rituals of practice and competition become kinetic metaphors for obsession; scenes are constructed to ratchet tension (audition chair toss, late-night endurance trials, car crash and broken finger, the Carnegie finale). high ( Scene 1 (INT. NASSAU BAND REHEARSAL STUDIO - GEHRING HALL - NIGHT) Scene 23 (INT. STUDIO BAND ROOM - GEHRING HALL - MOMENTS LATER) Scene 36 (INT. GEHRING HALL - STUDIO BAND ROOM - NIGHT) Scene 59 (INT. ZANKEL HALL - STAGE - CONTINUOUS) )
- Fletcher is a brilliantly drawn antagonist: specific, charismatic, terrifying and ambiguous. The writing gives him distinctive cadence, rhetorical flourishes and an unpredictable blend of warmth and violence — making the teacher a magnetic force who drives the plot and forces Andrew’s transformation. His tactics and imperious logic make him unforgettable as both villain and tragic architect of greatness. high ( Scene 15 (INT. GEHRING HALL - FLETCHER’S OFFICE - DAY) Scene 23 (INT. STUDIO BAND ROOM - GEHRING HALL - MOMENTS LATER) Scene 61 (INT. GEHRING HALL - STUDIO BAND ROOM - NIGHT) )
- Economy and clarity of the central arc: the script shows Andrew’s obsessive regimen in compact, visceral beats (metronome increases, blistering hands, mattress in practice room), building believable, measurable progress that makes his final performance earned. Visual motifs (metronome, broken sticks, Buddy Rich poster) give emotional continuity. high ( Scene 12 (INT. DORMITORY - ANDREW’S ROOM - PRE-DAWN) Scene 27 (INT. ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - DAY (MONTAGE)) Scene 54 (INT. JUDY AND ARTHUR ZANKEL HALL - NIGHT) )
- High-concept dramatic structure and strong payoffs: the screenplay commits to a single narrative engine (a drive to be the best) and maintains its promise through recurrent competitions and the climactic Carnegie Hall scene. foreshadowing and callbacks (e.g., 'rushing vs dragging', Buddy Rich motif) reward attentive readers and viewers. high ( Scene 24 (INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - STAGE - MOMENTS LATER) Scene 45 (INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - STAGE - MOMENTS LATER) )
- Use of sensory, stage-able imagery and rhythmic prose: the script’s action beats are cinematic, tactile and transportable to production (chairs thrown, drum-skin tearing, blood on cymbals, detailed performance sequences). It reads like a shot-by-shot blueprint for powerful directorial moments. medium ( Scene 11 (INT. ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - A FEW HOURS LATER) Scene 74 (INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - STAGE - MOMENTS LATER) Scene 59 (INT. ZANKEL HALL - STAGE - CONTINUOUS) )
- Underwritten supporting characters: Nicole (romantic interest) is introduced and humanized briefly (scenes 17, 52) but serves primarily as a device to illustrate Andrew’s single-mindedness. Other players (e.g., Carl, Ryan) are functional antagonists/foils but lack fuller interior lives, which reduces emotional resonance for some of Andrew’s choices. high ( Scene 17 (INT. ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - DAY) Scene 52 (INT. JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT) )
- Moral/ethical framing and audience filtering: the screenplay deliberately blurs the line between abuse and mentorship; while artistically compelling, some readers may feel the script insufficiently interrogates the ethics of Fletcher’s methods or presents broader institutional accountability beyond the thin lawsuit subplot. If intended for broader audiences, consider adding beats that complicate the hero/villain binaries without diluting the central conflict. medium ( Scene 36 (INT. GEHRING HALL - STUDIO BAND ROOM - NIGHT) Scene 46 (INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - STAGE - HOURS LATER) )
- Pacing risk in the long middle: the extended training/rehearsal montage and multiple similar humiliation set pieces (repeated beatings/abuse) risk fatigue if staging/film rhythm isn’t tightly controlled. The writer should ensure each prolongation adds new emotional/psychological information rather than reiterating the same torment. medium ( Scene 46 (INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - STAGE - HOURS LATER) Scene 47 (INT. STUDIO BAND ROOM - GEHRING HALL - DAY) )
- Aftercare / consequence clarity: key logline-level consequences (Fletcher’s institutional fate; Andrew’s future beyond Carnegie; the Caseys’ legal resolution) are left unresolved. This is an intentional choice but can feel like an omission for readers wanting denouement. Consider a brief coda/epilogue or lines suggesting systemic change or lack thereof. medium ( Scene 78 (INT. ANDREW’S DORMITORY - DAY) )
- Insufficient exploration of Fletcher’s past: the script hints at personal history (photos, mention of daughter, Sean Casey) but never fully excavates why Fletcher became so extreme. More specificity or a moment of clear vulnerability (beyond the Sean Casey revelation) could deepen audience empathy and complicate moral judgments. medium ( Scene 15 (INT. GEHRING HALL - FLETCHER’S OFFICE - DAY) )
- Institutional response and consequences: the legal/administrative thread (Rachel Bornholdt’s outreach and the Caseys) is present but not fully followed through. A few additional beats showing institutional tension at Shaffer or public consequence would close narrative thread for readers who expect accountability. medium ( Scene 46 (INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - STAGE - HOURS LATER) Scene 77A (INT. HOTEL LOBBY - BAR - LATER THAT DAY) )
- Nicole’s arc closure: Nicole’s presence at Carnegie and her being with a boyfriend is a potent counterpoint to Andrew’s life, but the script never gives them a final emotional exchange that might heighten Andrew’s personal stakes onstage. A single scene could deepen his personal loss. low ( Scene 52 (INT. JAZZ CLUB - NIGHT) )
- Long-term aftermath for Andrew: post-Carnegie implications (career options, psychological recovery) are largely left to implication. A short epilogue could show whether his sacrifice led to a sustainable career or more ambiguity. low ( Scene 83 (INT. ANDREW’S PRACTICE ROOM - DAY) )
- Motifs and repeated beats (metronome, 'rushing vs dragging', Buddy Rich poster) function as structural anchors that unify theme and action across the script. They turn technical musical language into emotional signifiers for character state. high ( Scene 1 (INT. NASSAU BAND REHEARSAL STUDIO - GEHRING HALL - NIGHT) Scene 12 (INT. DORMITORY - ANDREW’S ROOM - PRE-DAWN) )
- Physicality and violence as dramatic device: Fletcher’s physical intimidation (chair hurl, slaps) are visceral and memorable choices that make the screenplay cinematic and generate visceral audience reaction. high ( Scene 23 (INT. STUDIO BAND ROOM - GEHRING HALL - MOMENTS LATER) Scene 36 (INT. GEHRING HALL - STUDIO BAND ROOM - NIGHT) )
- Reversal economy: the screenplay uses reversals (folder lost/found, Andrew losing/gaining parts, Fletcher’s recruitment) sharply to keep stakes altering and tension high — each reversal redefines relationships and propels the plot. medium ( Scene 74 (INT. DUNELLEN AUDITORIUM - STAGE - MOMENTS LATER) Scene 59 (INT. GEHRING HALL - STUDIO BAND ROOM - NIGHT) )
- Finale as thematic resolution: the last scene reframes the entire relationship. It answers the central question—did Fletcher’s cruelty produce greatness?—in a complicated way: Andrew achieves transcendence, and the audience must confront the cost of that victory. high ( Scene 59 (INT. ZANKEL HALL - STAGE - CONTINUOUS) )
- Ethical ambiguity embedded in plot mechanics: the lawsuit subplot and Rachel’s solicitation create an institutional layer that rewards ethical debate a reader/viewer may have about art vs. abuse, even if it remains unresolved. medium ( Scene 77A (INT. HOTEL LOBBY - BAR - LATER THAT DAY) )
- Underdeveloped female/supporting perspectives The writer prioritizes the male mentor-mentee conflict to the point that female characters (Nicole, Fletcher’s daughter mentioned in photos) and many peers function mainly as plot devices. For example, Nicole (scenes 3, 13, 52, 98) catalyzes Andrew’s personal choices but never receives a full arc; other students like Carl and Ryan are sketched around their utility to Andrew’s struggle rather than fully rounded. This reduces the social texture of Shaffer and limits alternate viewpoints on Fletcher’s methods. high
- Ethical nuance vs. narrative propulsion The script is focused on escalation and payoff, which makes it less invested in interrogating broader institutional or moral consequences of Fletcher’s abuse. The lawsuit thread (Rachel Bornholdt, scene 77A) exists but is not the engine; that choice intensifies character drama but risks audience discomfort without a clear ethical framing for those seeking accountability. medium
- Functional supporting character shorthand Several supporting characters are introduced with strong shorthand labels (e.g., 'red-head drummer', 'mild-mannered dad'), which is effective but occasionally tips into caricature. This is a stylistic choice but can read as simplified characterization (e.g., Carl, Ryan, Uncle Frank), rather than fully textured secondary figures. medium
- Occasional exposition compression To maintain momentum the script occasionally compresses exposition into sharp monologues (Fletcher’s Polgar/Parker speeches, Jim’s quick moral claims) that do heavy lifting for backstory or theme. While mostly effective, it can feel didactic in places. low
Gemini
Executive Summary
- The electrifying and volatile dynamic between Andrew and Fletcher is the undeniable core of the screenplay. Their intense interactions, fueled by Fletcher's extreme methods and Andrew's relentless ambition, create constant tension and drive the narrative forward with ferocious energy. high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 10 (16) Scene 13 (23) )
- The dialogue is exceptionally sharp, concise, and impactful, perfectly capturing the heightened reality of the characters and their world. Fletcher's venomous insults and Andrew's determined responses are particularly memorable. high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 2 (4) Scene 13 (23) Scene 23 (74) )
- Andrew's character arc from a determined but naive student to a hardened, almost consumed artist is exceptionally well-executed. His transformation, driven by Fletcher's pressure and his own internal fire, is the emotional backbone of the story. high ( Scene 13 (23) Scene 15 (37) Scene 23 (74) )
- The screenplay masterfully maintains a propulsive and often brutal pacing, mirroring the intensity of the jazz world and Andrew's obsessive pursuit. Key sequences, especially the extended rehearsal scenes, feel earned and contribute to the overall momentum. high ( Scene 13 (23) Scene 15 (37) Scene 23 (74) Scene 59 )
- Thematic depth, particularly surrounding the relentless pursuit of greatness, the definition of success, the sacrifices required, and the ethical ambiguity of extreme teaching methods, is consistently explored and challenged throughout the narrative. high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 2 (3) Scene 4 (8) Scene 5 (9) Scene 13 (23) Scene 23 (74) Scene 59 )
- While Nicole serves as a potential romantic interest and a grounding element, her arc feels somewhat underdeveloped and her interactions with Andrew, particularly their final breakup, could be more impactful beyond simply serving Andrew's immediate narrative needs. medium ( Scene 2 (3) Scene 2 (4) )
- The pacing in the middle section, particularly Andrew's initial interactions with Nicole and his father, while important for character, could be slightly tightened to maintain the relentless momentum established earlier. low ( Scene 12 (17) )
- Fletcher's personal life and past, hinted at through his apartment and the mention of Sean Casey's death, could be more explicitly explored to provide deeper context to his motivations, though this could also dilute the mystery of his character. low ( Scene 15 (36) )
- The family dinner scene, while effective in highlighting Andrew's isolation and his father's meekness, feels slightly drawn out and could be more sharply focused to deliver its thematic points more efficiently. low ( Scene 18 (50) )
- The screenplay sometimes relies heavily on the spoken word to convey thematic ideas (e.g., Fletcher's chess analogy, the discussion of Charlie Parker's 'cutting session'). While effective, incorporating more visual storytelling or subtextual moments could further enhance these themes. low ( Scene 22 )
- While the screenplay hints at Fletcher's past trauma and its impact on his methods, a more concrete understanding of *why* he is so driven to create 'greatness' through such extreme means could be explored. The motivation, beyond a generalized desire for excellence, feels somewhat abstract. medium ( Scene 31 )
- The mechanics of Shaffer Conservatory and its broader musical community beyond Fletcher's immediate orbit are largely absent. Understanding the institutional pressures or the perspectives of other faculty could add another layer to the narrative. low ( Scene 5 (9) )
- While the ending is powerful, the long-term implications for Andrew's relationship with his father and his romantic life with Nicole are left largely unaddressed, creating a sense of narrative incompletion in that specific regard. medium ( Scene 12 (17) )
- The screenplay's pacing is incredibly effective, often feeling like a relentless drum solo itself. Key scenes build with escalating tension, creating an almost unbearable sense of anticipation. high ( Scene 13 (23) Scene 23 (74) )
- The portrayal of the psychological toll of extreme ambition and abusive mentorship is handled with remarkable intensity and realism. The screenplay doesn't shy away from the physical and emotional damage inflicted. high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 23 (74) Scene 59 )
- The use of music and drumming as a narrative device is exceptionally strong. The screenplay effectively conveys the technicality, passion, and brutal discipline involved in mastering an instrument. high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 13 (23) Scene 59 )
- The screenplay skillfully contrasts different visions of success and fulfillment through Andrew's relationships with his father and his family, highlighting his singular focus and the societal pressures he navigates. medium ( Scene 2 (4) Scene 18 (50) )
- The climax at Carnegie Hall is a tour-de-force, culminating Andrew's journey in a breathtaking and ambiguous manner that questions the true nature of artistic achievement and the motivations behind it. high ( Scene 13 (23) Scene 59 )
- Subtlety in Character Motivation While Fletcher's driving force for pushing students to such extremes is implied to be a desire to create 'greatness' and avoid mediocrity (as seen in his 'good job' speech and his comparison to Charlie Parker), the screenplay doesn't deeply explore the personal trauma or specific incident that might have cemented this extreme philosophy. The audience understands *what* he does, but the definitive *why* beyond a generalized fear of mediocrity or a twisted view of mentorship, feels slightly underdeveloped, especially considering the emotional weight given to Sean Casey's past and death. medium
- Thematic Nuance of 'Greatness' The screenplay strongly champions the idea that true greatness requires extreme sacrifice and brutal pushing. However, it doesn't fully explore the potential downsides or alternative paths to excellence that don't involve psychological torment. While Andrew's eventual 'success' is ambiguous, the script leans heavily into the idea that Fletcher's method, however abhorrent, is necessary for true artistic breakthroughs, potentially overlooking the validity of other, less destructive, paths to artistic achievement. medium
- Repetitive Exposition Through Dialogue While much of the dialogue is sharp, certain thematic explanations, particularly regarding Charlie Parker and the philosophy of 'good job' versus 'cutting session,' are reiterated through dialogue in ways that can feel slightly expositional rather than purely organic to the scene. For instance, Fletcher's explanation to Andrew about Charlie Parker (Scene 30) reiterates points made earlier, and while effective, could potentially be more subtextual or woven into a more active scene. low
- Over-explanation of Musical Concepts While the screenplay successfully conveys the intensity of jazz drumming, there are moments where the technical musical notation or descriptions (e.g., '7/4 time,' 'polyhythms,' specific rhythmic patterns) are detailed to a degree that might not be immediately accessible or necessary for a general audience, risking bogging down the narrative flow for non-musicians. For example, the detailed calculations Andrew makes on his sheet music (Scene 22) are more illustrative of his obsession than essential to plot progression. low
Grok
Executive Summary
- The screenplay features a powerful, cathartic climax that delivers emotional payoff and showcases character growth, making the resolution unforgettable. high ( Scene 59 (106) )
- Character development is deep and consistent, particularly for Andrew and Fletcher, with motivations and conflicts evolving naturally throughout the story. high ( Scene 13 (15) Scene 14 (15) )
- Themes of ambition and the cost of greatness are woven consistently, providing a cohesive narrative that resonates emotionally. high
- The use of rhythmic descriptions and sound cues immerses the reader in the musical elements, enhancing tension and authenticity. medium ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 59 (106) )
- High-tension conflicts and pacing keep the audience engaged, with effective build-up to key moments. medium ( Scene 50 (50) )
- The romantic subplot with Nicole is underdeveloped and feels abrupt, lacking depth and resolution. medium ( Scene 2 (3) Scene 9 (13) Scene 51 (51) )
- Some repetitive abusive scenes could be varied to avoid formulaic elements and maintain freshness. low
- Fletcher's backstory is hinted at but not fully explored, leaving some aspects of his character underdeveloped. medium ( Scene 14 (15) )
- Pacing in montages and transitional scenes can feel rushed, potentially glossing over emotional beats. low
- The post-climax denouement is abrupt, missing a chance to show the aftermath and provide closure. medium ( Scene 59 (106) )
- Deeper exploration of Fletcher's personal life and motivations could add layers to his character. medium
- Greater diversity in characters and settings, such as more female roles or varied environments, to broaden appeal and realism. medium
- Long-term consequences of key events, like Andrew's car crash, are not fully addressed. medium ( Scene 42 (72A) )
- Additional subplots or external conflicts could enrich the narrative beyond the central teacher-student dynamic. low
- Resolution for secondary characters, such as Andrew's father, feels incomplete, lacking emotional closure. medium
- Vivid use of sound and rhythm in descriptions creates an immersive experience. high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 59 (106) )
- Raw emotional authenticity in Andrew's breakdowns adds depth and relatability. high ( Scene 25 (25) )
- Symbolism with jazz legends like Buddy Rich and Charlie Parker reinforces themes effectively. medium
- Fletcher's character complexity, showing vulnerability amidst cruelty, makes him multifaceted. high ( Scene 14 (15) Scene 46 (46) )
- The climactic performance is a tour-de-force, blending music and drama seamlessly. high ( Scene 59 (106) )
- Overemphasis on male perspectives The screenplay predominantly focuses on male characters and their internal struggles, with female characters like Nicole appearing underdeveloped and serving mainly as plot devices to highlight Andrew's emotional state, such as in sequences 2, 9, and 51, where her role is minimal and lacks independent agency, potentially limiting the story's diversity and broader appeal. medium
- Idealization of abusive dynamics There is a tendency to romanticize Fletcher's abusive teaching methods as necessary for achieving greatness, evident in scenes like sequence 14 and the climax in sequence 59, which might downplay the ethical implications and real-world consequences of such behavior, presenting a narrow view that could alienate audiences sensitive to themes of mental health and toxicity. high
- Repetitive conflict structures Several scenes feature similar patterns of Fletcher's verbal abuse and Andrew's responses, such as in sequences 13 and 59, which can feel formulaic and less innovative, indicating a reliance on familiar tropes that might suggest inexperience in varying dramatic tension. low
- Lack of subtext in dialogue Some dialogues, particularly in family scenes like sequence 50, are direct and expository, missing opportunities for subtext or nuance, which can make interactions feel on-the-nose and less sophisticated, a common trait in amateur writing that reduces emotional subtlety. medium
DeepSeek
Executive Summary
- The Fletcher-Andrew relationship is one of the most compelling mentor-student dynamics in cinema, evolving from intimidation to psychological warfare to a twisted form of mutual respect high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 15 (23) Scene 60 (108) )
- The final concert sequence is an electrifying climax that pays off all the built-up tension and character development in a breathtaking display of musical and psychological intensity high ( Scene 60 (108) )
- Fletcher's character is brilliantly complex - both monstrous and strangely principled, with his philosophy about pushing students beyond their limits being both terrifying and compelling high ( Scene 9 (15) Scene 36 (61) )
- Andrew's physical and psychological transformation is meticulously charted through intense practice sequences that show the literal blood, sweat, and tears of artistic obsession high ( Scene 17 (27) Scene 33 (55) )
- The Charlie Parker anecdote and Fletcher's philosophy about the harm of 'good job' provides a powerful thematic throughline that elevates the conflict beyond simple abuse to a debate about artistic standards medium ( Scene 52 (93A) )
- Nicole's character feels underdeveloped and serves primarily as a plot device to demonstrate Andrew's increasing obsession and isolation medium ( Scene 11 (17) Scene 30 (51) )
- The family dinner scene, while thematically important, feels somewhat contrived in its setup of Andrew's relatives as caricatures of conventional success low ( Scene 29 (50) )
- The legal subplot with Rachel Bornholdt feels slightly rushed and could be more integrated into the main narrative low ( Scene 46 (78) )
- Lack of exploration of other students' perspectives on Fletcher's methods, which could provide additional context for understanding the systemic nature of his approach medium
- More background on Andrew's musical influences and what specifically drives his obsession beyond just wanting to be 'great' low
- The chair-throwing scene establishes the physical danger and psychological intensity of Fletcher's teaching methods in a way that's both shocking and thematically resonant high ( Scene 15 (23) )
- The competition sequence where Andrew plays from memory creates incredible tension and demonstrates his growing mastery under pressure high ( Scene 24 (45) )
- The car crash sequence is a powerful physical manifestation of Andrew's self-destructive obsession, with the broken finger representing the literal cost of his ambition medium ( Scene 44 (72A) )
- The jazz club scene provides crucial insight into Fletcher's philosophy and creates a fascinating moment of détente before the final confrontation medium ( Scene 52 (93A) )
- Normalization of Abuse The screenplay occasionally risks normalizing Fletcher's abusive behavior by framing it through the lens of artistic pursuit, potentially sending mixed messages about the relationship between abuse and achievement medium
- None detected The screenplay demonstrates professional-level craft in structure, character development, dialogue, and thematic depth throughout low
Claude
Executive Summary
- The screenplay establishes a strong, compelling protagonist in Andrew Neiman, whose single-minded pursuit of musical greatness is vividly portrayed through his interactions with his father and his initial encounter with the demanding instructor, Fletcher. high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 2 (4) )
- The relationship between Andrew and Fletcher is expertly developed, with Fletcher's methods and motivations becoming increasingly complex and nuanced as the story progresses. high ( Scene 9 (15) Scene 10 (16) )
- The screenplay maintains a strong, consistent thematic focus on the pursuit of artistic excellence and the personal sacrifices required, as Andrew becomes increasingly consumed by his drive to prove himself. high ( Scene 17 (26) Scene 18 (31) )
- The climactic performance sequence at the JVC Jazz Festival is a masterfully crafted, suspenseful, and emotionally charged set piece that serves as the culmination of Andrew's journey. high ( Scene 24 (45) Scene 25 (46) )
- The screenplay's handling of the aftermath of Andrew's failed performance, and his subsequent journey of self-discovery, provides a thoughtful and nuanced resolution to the character's arc. medium ( Scene 46 (78) Scene 47 (83) )
- The supporting characters, such as Ryan Connolly and the other members of the Studio Band, could be further developed to provide a more well-rounded and complex portrayal of the competitive environment within the conservatory. medium ( Scene 4 (8) Scene 6 (11) )
- While Fletcher's methods are effectively portrayed as intense and uncompromising, a more nuanced exploration of his motivations and backstory could provide additional depth to the character and his relationship with Andrew. medium ( Scene 10 (16) Scene 17 (26) )
- The family dinner scene, while effectively highlighting the contrast between Andrew's single-minded pursuit of greatness and his family's more conventional values, could be further developed to provide a more balanced and insightful portrayal of these dynamics. low ( Scene 29 (50) )
- While the screenplay effectively explores the psychological and emotional toll of Andrew's pursuit of excellence, a more in-depth examination of the potential long-term consequences of Fletcher's methods on his students could provide additional depth and nuance to the narrative. medium ( Scene 10 (16) Scene 17 (26) )
- The screenplay could benefit from a more balanced portrayal of Andrew's relationships and social life outside of his musical pursuits, to provide a more well-rounded understanding of his character and the broader context of his journey. medium ( Scene 29 (50) Scene 30 (51) )
- The screenplay's exploration of the complex, often abusive relationship between Andrew and Fletcher is a standout element, providing a nuanced and thought-provoking examination of the dynamics between a demanding mentor and a driven protégé. high ( Scene 9 (15) Scene 10 (16) )
- The climactic performance sequence at the JVC Jazz Festival is a masterfully crafted set piece that showcases the screenplay's ability to create a suspenseful, emotionally charged, and visually compelling set piece that serves as the culmination of the protagonist's journey. high ( Scene 24 (45) Scene 25 (46) )
- The screenplay's handling of the aftermath of Andrew's failed performance, and his subsequent journey of self-discovery, provides a thoughtful and nuanced resolution to the character's arc, exploring the broader implications of the pursuit of artistic excellence. medium ( Scene 46 (78) Scene 47 (83) )
- Lack of Diversity The screenplay primarily focuses on the experiences of white, male characters, with limited representation of diverse perspectives and backgrounds. While the central relationship between Andrew and Fletcher is well-developed, the supporting cast could benefit from a more inclusive and representative portrayal of the broader music community. medium
- Underdeveloped Supporting Characters While the screenplay excels in its character development of the protagonist and the antagonist, the supporting characters, such as Andrew's peers in the Studio Band, could be further fleshed out to provide a more well-rounded and realistic depiction of the competitive environment within the conservatory. The lack of depth in these supporting roles could be perceived as an amateur oversight. medium
Memorable lines in the script:
| Scene Number | Line |
|---|---|
| 52 | Fletcher: Take it from me, and every Starbucks jazz album only proves my point. There are no two words more harmful in the entire English language than 'good job'. |
| 30 | ANDREW: Because I want to be great. |
| 32 | Fletcher: You want the part? Then...earn it. |
| 1 | FLETCHER: I asked you why you stopped playing. Your version of an answer was to turn into a wind-up drummer monkey. |
| 41 | ANDREW: God-fucking-damnit, I SAID I was on my way, you tell the redhead I’m ON MY FUCKING WAY!! |