glass Onion Knives Out

Overview

Unique Selling Point

This screenplay presents a fresh and original take on the murder mystery genre. By introducing a diverse cast of complex characters, each with their own motivations and secrets, the story delves into themes of disruption, innovation, and the fragility of truth. As the narrative unfolds, layers of mystery are peeled back, challenging the characters and the audience alike to question the authenticity of their surroundings and the people they trust. The script's witty dialogue, authentic character interactions, and unexpected plot twists create a captivating and thought-provoking cinematic experience, setting it apart from other films in the genre.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines’ ratings to compare.

Gemini
Recommend

Claude
Recommend

GPT4
Consider

See Details in P/C/R/HR Section

Story Facts

Genres: Drama, Mystery, Thriller, Comedy, Sci-Fi

Setting: Contemporary, Various locations including a mansion, a private island, a gym, and a beach

Themes: Selfishness, Wealth and Inequality, Power of Memory, Nature of Truth, Family

Conflict & Stakes: The primary conflict revolves around uncovering the truth behind Andi's murder, with the stakes being the exposure of dark secrets and the pursuit of justice.

Mood: Tense and suspenseful

Standout Features:

Twists and Turns: Intriguing plot twists and unexpected revelations keep the audience engaged
Complex Characters: Well-developed and multi-dimensional characters add depth to the story
Unique Setting: The diverse and visually striking locations enhance the atmosphere and mood of the screenplay

Comparable Scripts: Knives Out (2019), Gosford Park (2001), And Then There Were None (1945), The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (1926), The Big Sleep (1946), The Usual Suspects (1995), , , ,

Script Level Analysis

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

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Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

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Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

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Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

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Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

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Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

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Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

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Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart

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This screenplay excels in its unique concept and originality but could benefit from stronger dialogue and emotional resonance. The writer's conceptual style is evident, and balancing structural elements will enhance the overall impact.

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Key Strengths

**Concept:** The screenplay's strong showing in `conceptrating` (91.87%) indicates a well-developed premise with unique and engaging ideas.
**Originality:** High percentile rankings in `originality_score` (75.84%) and `unpredictability_score` (94.69%) suggest the screenplay offers fresh and unexpected storytelling elements.

Areas for Improvement

**Dialogue:** The relatively lower percentile in `dialoguerating` (63.82%) suggests dialogue may need refinement to enhance characterization and drive the plot.
**Emotional Impact:** The percentile ranking for `emotional_impact` (38.62%) indicates an opportunity to strengthen the screenplay's ability to resonate with audiences on an emotional level.

Writer Style

The screenplay appears to lean more towards a **conceptual** style, with high scores in `conceptrating`, `plotrating`, and `originality_score`. The lower percentile in `charactersrating` suggests a focus on developing the plot and ideas rather than intricate character arcs.

Balancing Elements

**Internal vs. External Goals:** Consider balancing the `internal_goal_score` (60.67%) and `external_goal_score` (66.85%) to create a more dynamic interplay between characters' motivations and external challenges.
**Structure and Pacing:** While the `structure_score` (40.45%) is relatively low, the high `pacing_score` (78.65%) suggests a need for refining the overall narrative arc while maintaining a brisk pace.

Intuition Level

The screenplay appears to be more **conceptual** than intuitive, with higher percentiles in plot- and concept-related elements than in character-driven areas.

Overall Assessment

The screenplay shows promise with a strong concept and original story elements. However, it could benefit from enhanced dialogue and emotional depth. Balancing the focus on external goals with internal motivations and refining the narrative structure will help unlock its full potential.

How this was done: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault (such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other produced scripts for each criteria.

How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library

Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.

Title	Grade	Percentile	Before	After
Script Visual Impact	8.90	99	Interstellar: 8.80	Knives Out: 8.90
Scene Unpredictability	7.94	92	Narcos: 7.93	glass Onion Knives Out : 7.94
Script Conflict	8.20	86	Parasite: 8.00	the dark knight rises: 8.20
Scene Concept	8.4	84	The King's speech: 8.3	fight Club: 8.4
Scene Engagement	9.00	81	The Addams Family: 8.99	fight Club: 9.00
Scene Overall	8.6	78	American Fiction: 8.5	face/off: 8.6
Scene Plot	8.3	78	A Complete Unknown: 8.2	the boys (TV): 8.3
Scene Story Forward	8.5	76	Deadpool & wolverine : 8.4	Casablanca: 8.5
Scene Conflict Level	8.1	73	Ex-Machina: 8.0	fight Club: 8.1
Scene External Goal	7.46	72	El Mariachi: 7.45	glass Onion Knives Out : 7.46
Scene Originality	8.84	71	V for Vendetta: 8.83	the dark knight rises: 8.84
Scene High Stakes	8.1	69	Mulholland Drive: 8.0	the boys (TV): 8.1
Script Structure	8.00	63	Promising young woman: 7.90	Knives Out: 8.00
Script Originality	8.10	62	A Complete Unknown: 8.00	Titanic: 8.10
Script Theme	8.30	56	A Complete Unknown: 8.20	the dark knight rises: 8.30
Script Premise	8.10	54	American Fiction: 8.00	glass Onion Knives Out : 8.10
Scene Pacing	8.26	53	Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon: 8.25	glass Onion Knives Out : 8.26
Scene Dialogue	7.9	52	The substance: 7.8	glass Onion Knives Out : 7.9
Overall Script	8.10	51	Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde : 8.06	the pursuit of happyness: 8.10
Script Emotional Impact	7.80	45	Inside Out: 7.70	Erin Brokovich: 7.80
Scene Internal Goal	8.03	38	The father: 8.02	There's something about Mary: 8.03
Script Structure	8.10	37	Fleabag: 8.09	glass Onion Knives Out : 8.10
Scene Formatting	8.10	36	Fleabag: 8.09	glass Onion Knives Out : 8.10
Scene Character Changes	6.6	29	Fleabag: 6.5	glass Onion Knives Out : 6.6
Scene Emotional Impact	7.4	25	Narcos Pilot: 7.3	glass Onion Knives Out : 7.4
Scene Characters	8.0	18	Narcos Pilot: 7.9	Knives Out: 8.0
Script Characters	7.40	10	Silicon Valley: 7.30	glass Onion Knives Out : 7.40

Other Analyses

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

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Writer's Craft

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Memorable Lines

Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.

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Tropes

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World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

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Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

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Loglines

Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

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Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

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Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

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Memorable Lines

Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.

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Tropes

Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.

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World Building

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Correlations

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Loglines

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Engine: Gemini

Screenplay Rating:

Recommend

Executive Summary

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery is a witty and engaging whodunit with a strong central mystery, memorable characters, and sharp dialogue. The screenplay's strengths lie in its humor, puzzle-solving sequences, and social satire. Areas for improvement include pacing in the second act and further development of supporting characters. Overall, the screenplay is highly recommended with the potential to be a commercial and critical success.

Strengths

The screenplay excels in its witty and sharp dialogue, particularly showcased through Claire's character. high
The puzzle-solving sequence is engaging and cleverly constructed, effectively building suspense and excitement. high ( Scene 11 )
Benoit Blanc's character is well-developed and intriguing, with his intelligence and eccentric personality shining through. high ( Scene 27 Scene 35 )
The twist reveal of Helen's true identity as Andi's twin sister adds a layer of surprise and complexity to the narrative. medium ( Scene 55 )
The screenplay effectively satirizes the world of the ultra-wealthy and their eccentric lifestyles. medium

Areas of Improvement

The pacing in the second act could be tightened, as some scenes feel slightly drawn out. medium
Some supporting characters, such as Whiskey and Peg, could benefit from further development and exploration of their motivations. medium
The resolution of the murder mystery relies heavily on coincidence and convenient timing, which may feel slightly contrived to some viewers. low ( Scene 34 Scene 36 )

MissingElements

The screenplay could explore the emotional impact of Andi's death and Helen's grief in more depth. medium

NotablePoints

The inclusion of the Mona Lisa as a central plot device is a bold and memorable choice that adds to the film's intrigue. high ( Scene 33 )
The screenplay's use of flashbacks effectively reveals backstory and character motivations. medium

Engine: Claude

Screenplay Rating:

Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay for 'Glass Onion: Knives Out' is a highly engaging and multilayered murder mystery that subverts expectations and delivers a compelling character-driven narrative. The intricate plot, sharp dialogue, and well-developed character arcs create a rich, immersive cinematic experience that explores the themes of disruption, ambition, and the corrupting influence of unchecked power. While the pacing and character motivations could be further refined in some areas, the screenplay's overall strengths, notably its narrative complexity, visual flair, and thematic depth, make it a strong candidate for consideration.

Strengths

Intricate and engaging character arcs that evolve throughout the story, providing depth and nuance to the central figures. high
A compelling and layered mystery narrative that subverts expectations and builds towards a surprising, yet satisfying conclusion. high
Crisp, clever dialogue that reveals character motivations and advances the plot in a natural, believable way. medium
A strong thematic throughline exploring the nature of disruption, ambition, and the consequences of unchecked greed. high
Visually striking and imaginative production elements, such as the Glass Onion compound and the unique puzzle box device, that enhance the overall storytelling. medium

Areas of Improvement

While the pacing is generally strong, there are a few instances where the narrative could be tightened or streamlined to maintain a more consistent momentum. medium
Certain character motivations, while generally well-developed, could be further explored or clarified to deepen the audience's understanding and investment. medium

MissingElements

The screenplay could potentially benefit from additional world-building or backstory details to fully immerse the audience in the rich, complex environment. low

NotablePoints

The screenplay's ability to blend elements of mystery, thriller, and dark comedy effectively, creating a unique and engaging cinematic experience. high
The clever and subversive use of classic murder mystery tropes and conventions to deconstruct and ultimately subvert audience expectations. high
The strong thematic resonance and social commentary on themes of wealth, power, and the consequences of unchecked ambition. high

Engine: GPT4

Screenplay Rating:

Consider

Executive Summary

The screenplay presents a complex and engaging mystery with a fresh take on the whodunit genre, featuring strong character development and a dynamic setting. While it excels in plot twists and humor, it could benefit from clearer stakes and more integrated exposition. The unique setting and subversion of genre tropes make it a compelling read.

Strengths

The screenplay features a complex and engaging plot with multiple twists that maintain audience interest throughout. high
Strong character development, especially the transformation and empowerment of Helen, which provides a satisfying narrative arc. high ( Scene 150 )
Effective use of humor and irony, particularly in the dialogue and character interactions, which adds a layer of entertainment beyond the central mystery. medium
Creative and dynamic use of settings, such as the explosive finale at the Glass Onion, which visually and thematically complements the story's climax. medium ( Scene 144 Scene 145 )
The screenplay successfully subverts typical mystery genre tropes, offering a fresh take on the whodunit format. medium

Areas of Improvement

Some plot points and character actions may come across as overly convoluted or implausible, which could potentially confuse the audience. medium
The pacing in the middle sections might feel slow as the screenplay spends considerable time on character backstories and motives. medium
Needs clearer establishment of stakes and character motivations early in the screenplay to ensure audience engagement from the beginning. medium
The final resolution relies heavily on dialogue exposition, which could be better integrated through action or visual storytelling. low
Enhance the emotional depth of some secondary characters to ensure they are not just functional to the plot but also resonate with the audience on a personal level. low

MissingElements

Lacks a strong emotional or thematic through-line that ties all the subplots and character arcs together, which could elevate the screenplay's overall impact. medium

NotablePoints

The screenplay's setting on a remote island adds a layer of isolation and tension that enhances the mystery. medium
Innovative use of technology and modern elements (e.g., the use of faxes, modern art) to create a unique aesthetic and thematic texture. low

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Screenplay Insights:

Overall Grade: 8.10

Characters: 7.4, The screenplay presents a diverse cast of characters with varying degrees of depth and development. While some characters undergo significant transformations and growth, others remain relatively static or underdeveloped. By enhancing the complexity, consistency, and relatability of certain characters, the screenplay could more effectively engage the audience and amplify the emotional impact of the story. See More

Premise: 8.1, The screenplay presents a compelling premise with a classic whodunit murder mystery setup, intriguing characters with diverse backgrounds and motivations, and a unique setting on a private island. The puzzle-solving element adds an additional layer of engagement for the audience. However, the premise could benefit from a clearer introduction of the central conflict and stakes, as well as a more defined exploration of the thematic depth beyond the surface-level murder mystery. See More

Structure: 8.0, The screenplay exhibits a solid narrative structure, effectively building tension and suspense throughout the plot. However, certain plot points could be further developed to enhance overall clarity and engagement. See More

Theme: 8.3, The screenplay effectively conveys its themes and messages through a well-crafted narrative and well-developed characters. The themes of disruption, truth, and the consequences of one's actions are explored in a nuanced and thought-provoking manner, resonating with the audience on both an intellectual and emotional level. While the themes are generally clear and relevant, there are opportunities to enhance their integration with the plot and explore them with greater originality. See More

Visual Impact: 8.9, The screenplay showcases a range of innovative visual approaches, effectively immersing the reader in the world of the story. The creative use of puzzles, vibrant descriptions, and symbolic elements heightens the visual experience, making it a standout in terms of visual storytelling. See More

Emotional Impact: 7.8, The screenplay shows potential in eliciting emotional responses, particularly through its well-developed characters and their interpersonal dynamics. However, it could benefit from exploring a wider range of emotions and deepening the emotional complexity of certain characters to create a more impactful and resonant story. See More

Conflict: 8.2, The screenplay effectively utilizes conflict and stakes to captivate the audience, presenting a compelling narrative with intricate power dynamics and high-stakes consequences. However, there are areas where the conflict could be further intensified, and the stakes could be made more personal and impactful to heighten tension and audience engagement. See More

Originality: 8.1, The screenplay, with its intriguing murder mystery and ensemble cast of eccentric characters, demonstrates considerable originality in its narrative structure and character dynamics. The unique puzzle-solving aspect adds a refreshing twist to the whodunit genre, with each puzzle serving as a clue in unraveling the secrets of the island and its inhabitants. See More

Summary In this suspenseful screenplay, a group of friends gathers on a private island at the behest of the enigmatic Miles Bron. Tensions rise as they are faced with mysterious wooden boxes, sinister puzzles, and a series of murders that send shockwaves through the group. As the investigation unfolds, secrets are uncovered, betrayals are revealed, and the true nature of each character is put to the test. In the end, justice is sought, alliances are tested, and a thrilling conclusion awaits as the group grapples with the consequences of their actions.

Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The overall plot of the Glass Onion is well-structured and engaging, featuring a complex mystery with multiple layers of intrigue that keep the audience guessing until the very end. The screenplay effectively introduces a diverse cast of characters with distinct personalities and motivations, each of whom plays a crucial role in the unfolding events. The pacing of the story is well-balanced, building suspense and tension gradually while providing enough twists and turns to maintain interest. The clever use of puzzles and riddles adds a unique and engaging element to the mystery, enhancing the overall entertainment value of the screenplay.

Suggestions: To further enhance the plot, consider exploring the backstory of the characters in more depth, particularly their relationships with each other and their motivations for participating in the game. This could add emotional depth and make their actions more relatable. Additionally, expanding on the consequences of the characters' choices and the ethical dilemmas they face could add moral complexity and weight to the story. Finally, incorporating more red herrings or false leads could increase the sense of mystery and keep the audience guessing throughout the screenplay.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here

Beginning The beginning of the Glass Onion effectively sets the stage for the rest of the screenplay, introducing the main characters and establishing the central mystery of Miles Bron's invitation. The use of wooden puzzle boxes to invite the guests adds a unique and intriguing element, immediately piquing the audience's curiosity. The introduction of the characters and their relationships is well-paced, allowing the audience to get a sense of their personalities and their connections to Miles Bron.

Suggestions: To further strengthen the beginning of the screenplay, consider adding a stronger sense of urgency or danger to the initial invitation. This could involve hinting at the potential stakes of the game or providing more information about the possible consequences of not participating. Additionally, establishing a clearer connection between the characters and their motivations for attending the retreat could add depth and make their actions more relatable.

Middle The middle part of the Glass Onion maintains the momentum and intrigue established in the beginning. The introduction of the Mona Lisa adds a new layer of complexity to the mystery, while the characters' attempts to solve the puzzles and uncover the truth keep the audience engaged. The interactions between the characters are well-written and entertaining, showcasing their distinct personalities and providing moments of both humor and tension.

Suggestions: To further enhance the middle part of the screenplay, consider adding more obstacles or challenges for the characters to overcome as they investigate the mystery. This could create a greater sense of urgency and make their progress more satisfying. Additionally, exploring the characters' relationships in more depth, particularly their alliances and betrayals, could add emotional weight and complexity to the story.

Ending The ending of the Glass Onion provides a satisfying resolution to the central mystery, while also leaving some elements open for interpretation. The revelation of the killer's identity and their motivations is well-executed, providing a sense of closure and justice. The final confrontation is intense and suspenseful, showcasing the characters' strengths and weaknesses while leading to a thrilling climax.

Suggestions: To further strengthen the ending of the screenplay, consider adding a stronger emotional payoff for the characters and the audience. This could involve exploring the consequences of their actions and choices in more depth, or providing a more cathartic moment of resolution. Additionally, expanding on the implications of the killer's motives and the significance of the Mona Lisa in the overall scheme could add depth and resonance to the ending.

CharacterInconsistencies

Character Andi Brand
Description Andi's sudden arrival and cold demeanor towards her former friends seem unjustified, especially considering she willingly came to the island.
( Scene 9 (20) Scene 11 (25) )
Character Miles Bron
Description Miles's portrayal as a genius entrepreneur clashes with his constant misuse of words, factual errors, and illogical decisions, making his character seem inconsistent and poorly developed.
( Scene 15 (27) Scene 23 (33) Scene 25 (35) Scene 30 (36) )
Character Duke Cody
Description Duke's aggressive and misogynistic behavior, while fitting his persona, seems exaggerated and at times cartoonish, potentially undermining his character's depth.
( Scene 5 (9) Scene 18 (28) Scene 27 (36) )

StoryInconsistencies

Description The appearance of Derol, a seemingly random character, disrupts the narrative flow and his purpose within the story remains unclear.
( Scene 12 (25) )
Description The sudden blackout and the convenient presence of a spear fishing gun with Whiskey strain the narrative's credibility.
( Scene 32 (40) )

PlotHoles

Description The explanation of a reset box being sent to Blanc as a gag is weak and lacks a convincing motive, creating a significant plot hole.
( Scene 15 (27) )
Description The ease with which Miles acquires the Mona Lisa and the lack of security surrounding it raise questions about the plot's believability.
( Scene 17 (28) )

DialogueAuthenticity

Description Birdie's dialogue, while intended to be humorous, often comes across as insensitive and offensive, potentially alienating the audience.
( Scene 3 (7) Scene 11 (25) )
Description Miles's philosophical musings on disruption feel forced and lack depth, contrasting with his overall portrayal as an intellectual.
( Scene 18 (28) )

Redundancies

Element Miles's misuse of words
( Scene 12 (25) Scene 14 (26) Scene 15 (27) Scene 19 (28) Scene 23 (33) Scene 53 (116) )
Suggestion Reduce the frequency of Miles's verbal blunders to maintain a balance between humor and character consistency.
Element Scenes of Helen searching rooms
( Scene 45 (83) Scene 49 (93) )
Suggestion Condense or intercut the room search sequences to avoid repetitive pacing and maintain audience engagement.

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Blanc - Score: 83/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: INTJ

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

An intelligent and seasoned detective.

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Internal conflicts driven by disillusionment and aloofness.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 7/10

Blanc demonstrates growth by confronting his own assumptions.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Distinctive speech patterns and philosophical musings.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

His decisions are often strategic and reveal his cleverness.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Interacts primarily as an investigator.

Scene Impact 9/10

His presence tends to heighten tension.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Functions as the mastermind detective.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Ties in with themes of truth and deception.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Inspires tension and admiration.

Foundational Definition

Score: 9

Benoit Blanc is an intelligent and seasoned detective known for his unique approach to solving mysteries. He embodies classic detective traits—sharp intellect, keen observation, and the ability to piece together seemingly unrelated clues. His backstory suggests he operates at the highest levels of investigation, often engaged in high-profile cases that challenge both his deductive skills and moral compass. These foundational traits shape his worldview, where truth and justice are paramount, although he often finds himself disillusioned by the world around him.

Values And Beliefs: Truth and justice are paramount., Reality often exceeds fiction., Every detail matters in solving a mystery.

Strengths And Skills: Exceptional deductive reasoning., Ability to read people and situations., Extensive experience in high-profile cases.

Suggestions

Highlight more of his backstory through flashbacks.
Deepen his philosophical musings on truth versus perception.

Follow-up Questions

What specific cases from his past have shaped his current methods?
How does he reconcile his moral values with the actions of those around him?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 8

Benoit Blanc has an emotional wound stemming from his experiences in solving countless murders where justice often eludes him. This creates a conflict within him, as he grapples with the futility of seeking truth in a world rife with deception. His flaws include a tendency to appear aloof or overly analytical, which can distance him from others. These hidden layers drive his need to restore order and justice, influencing his relentless pursuit of the truth.

Character Wound: Disillusionment with the flawed justice system.

Character Flaws: Can be perceived as detached., Overly analytical, leading to social awkwardness.

Suggestions

Incorporate moments that reveal his frustration with the justice system.
Explore more personal connections to deepen his emotional impact.

Follow-up Questions

What was his biggest failure as a detective, and how did it affect him?
How does he view the other characters, especially the disruptors, emotionally?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 7

Throughout the narrative, Benoit Blanc navigates through a web of deceit and manipulation. Initially, he appears as a confident and clever detective, but as he unravels the clues, he faces his own biases regarding the competency of those he investigates. The ultimate reveal about Miles prompts a reevaluation of his understanding of intelligence and deception. This arc concludes with Blanc reaffirming his commitment to seek justice, regardless of the complexity involved.

Polarity Changes: Begins confident and assured but becomes uncertain as the case unfolds.

Transformation Triggers: The realization that the presumed genius, Miles, was actually a fraud.

Suggestions

Enhance scenes that showcase his internal conflicts.
Provide clearer moments of transformation to emphasize his growth.

Follow-up Questions

What internal biases does he need to confront throughout the story?
How does his view of justice evolve by the end of the screenplay?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Blanc's dialogue is marked by a unique combination of Southern charm coupled with keen intellect. His manner of speech is occasionally cryptic, filled with metaphors and philosophical insights that reveal a depth of thinking. This uniqueness creates a memorable character that contrasts with the other more flamboyant personalities around him, underscoring his role as the rational center in the midst of chaos.

Unique Voice: Witty, with a Southern drawl that adds charm and levity.

Suggestions

Incorporate more dialect shifts to emphasize emotional moments.
Use dialogue to establish deeper connections with other characters.

Follow-up Questions

How might his speech change in high-stakes moments?
What lines epitomize his philosophical outlook on life and truth?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Benoit Blanc's choices are methodically planned, reflecting his analytical mindset. He often navigates through complex social interactions, making strategic decisions that display foresight. However, his attachment to uncovering the truth sometimes leads him into conflicts of morality, especially when dealing with morally ambiguous characters. This tension allows him to showcase aspects of vulnerability and determination.

Motivations: To uncover the truth and bring justice.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires recognition and success but needs genuine connection and emotional fulfillment.

Suggestions

Highlight moments of moral conflict in his choices.
Showcase more spontaneous decisions that lead to key revelations.

Follow-up Questions

What choices lead to moments of self-discovery?
How do his decisions shape the narrative trajectory?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Blanc's relationships are primarily defined by his role as an investigator. He maintains a professional distance while probing into the lives of others. This creates a dynamic of suspicion among the disruptors, as they are uncertain of his motives. However, he also exhibits empathy towards Helen Brand, connecting with her plight to seek justice for her sister. This balance between investigator and protector enhances his character depth.

Suggestions

Explore deeper friendships he might have that inform his character.
Show more vulnerability in his interactions with suspects.

Follow-up Questions

What relationships have shaped his views on justice?
How do his interactions with Helen influence his investigative tactics?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

Benoit Blanc serves as a pivotal force in each scene he occupies. His entrance often brings a shift in emotional dynamics, and his analytical approach to solving mysteries adds layers of tension and intrigue. In critical moments, he acts as a mediator and reflective figure, intensifying confrontations among characters while moving the plot forward with his insights.

Suggestions

Consider using Blanc’s presence to resolve conflict in key scenes.
Utilize his dialogue to enhance emotional stakes at tense moments.

Follow-up Questions

Which scenes felt the most impactful due to his presence?
How can his interactions drive the tension further in high-stakes moments?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

Benoit Blanc fulfills the role of the classic detective in this screenplay, embodying the archetype of uncovering truths hidden beneath layered deception. His character symbolizes intelligence battling against ignorance and moral ambiguity. This role is upheld through his strategic navigation of the disruptors, ultimately leading to the unraveling of the central mystery.

Symbolic Role: Represents the pursuit of truth amid chaos.

Suggestions

Reinforce his role by highlighting actions that underscore this detective archetype.
Create scenarios where he must outsmart characters who underestimate him.

Follow-up Questions

How does his presence challenge others' perceptions of reality?
What aspects of his character may subvert traditional detective archetypes?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

Benoit Blanc's personal journey intertwines intricately with the screenplay's exploration of truth versus illusion. His pursuit of justice highlights the flaws within the justice system and the consequences of deception. Through his navigation of the plot, characters reveal how personal ambitions can obscure the truth and alter moral landscapes. Ultimately, he embodies the ideals of integrity, contrasting sharply with the morally fraught actions of the disruptors.

Suggestions

Strengthen thematic connections through Blanc's reflection on social morality.
Highlight moments where he confronts characters about their truthfulness.

Follow-up Questions

What themes emerge strongest in his interactions with others?
How do his conclusions about truth evolve throughout the narrative?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Benoit Blanc successfully evokes a range of emotions, from admiration for his intelligence to tension as he unveils the truth. His lighter, philosophical moments interspersed with serious confrontations allow audiences to empathize with his struggles for truth. His emotional beats often reflect the audience's curiosity about the mystery, enhancing engagement throughout the screenplay.

Emotional Impact: Elicits a mix of tension and admiration from the audience.

Suggestions

Enhance emotional beats through more personal stakes in key moments.
Showcase his vulnerabilities to elicit deeper emotional responses.

Follow-up Questions

How does his emotional journey resonate with the audience's experiences?
What moments elicited the strongest emotional reactions during the narrative?

Personality Types

MBTI: intj

Benoit Blanc exhibits traits characteristic of an INTJ, including his strategic planning, analytical approach to problem-solving, and independent thinking.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: infj (20%)

Suggestions

Align his thought processes with INTJ traits in dialogue.
Add elements of empathetic reasoning to support the INFJ alternative.

Follow-up Questions

How do his decisions reflect his INTJ traits in high-pressure situations?
What moments showcase potential INFJ traits, like empathy or altruism?

Miles - Score: 75/100

Role

Antagonist

Personality

MBTI: ENTJ
Enneagram: Three

Scenes

Strongest: #49

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Billionaire philanthropist with a self-serving nature.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Emotionally wounded, driven by fear of irrelevance.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 6/10

Remains largely unchanged due to his arrogance.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Uses grandiose language to mask insecurities.

Behavior And Choices 7/10

Motivated by recognition, leading to reckless choices.

Relationship Dynamics 7/10

Relationships are characterized by manipulation and superficiality.

Scene Impact 8/10

Drives tension and chaos, often irresponsibly.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Embodies the archetype of a self-serving antagonist.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Represents themes of greed and disruption.

Emotional Resonance 7/10

Elicits frustration and anger, creating emotional tension.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Miles Bron is introduced as a billionaire philanthropist and founder of the tech giant Alpha. He exudes a charismatic yet superficial charm, which masks his manipulative and self-serving nature. His desire for recognition and immortality drives his actions, encapsulated in his grand visions that often disguise his incompetence. This ambition shapes not only his worldview but also influences those around him, portraying him as a disruptor in both a literal and figurative sense.

Values And Beliefs: Immortality through recognition, Disruption is key to progress, Wealth brings power and influence

Strengths And Skills: Charismatic leadership, Visionary ideas (albeit flawed), Manipulation of social dynamics

Suggestions

Explore more of Miles's backstory to show how his upbringing influenced his drive for success.
Develop scenes showing his interaction with others to better illustrate his manipulative qualities.

Follow-up Questions

What specific event in his past could have triggered his ruthless ambition?
How does Miles react to failures, and does this shape his character growth?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Miles exhibits emotional wounds stemming from insecurity and fear of being irrelevant. His over-the-top ambition and need for validation lead him to make reckless decisions without considering the consequences, reflecting a fundamental flaw in his character. His persona contrasts sharply with the reality of his incompetence and the realization that he is not as brilliant as he believes. This internal conflict drives much of the plot's tension.

Character Wound: Fear of losing power and relevance.

Character Flaws: Delusions of grandeur, Inability to accept criticism, Self-serving behavior

Suggestions

Delve deeper into his past failures to highlight his insecurities.
Introduce moments of vulnerability to showcase his internal struggles.

Follow-up Questions

What are the key moments that made him feel threatened in his position?
How do his fears manifest in interactions with his friends?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 6

Miles undergoes minor transformations through pressure and confrontation, but ultimately resists change due to his delusions of intelligence and stability. The climax of the story reveals his hubris, leading to catastrophic consequences; however, he remains dismissive of the people around him. This resistance to change underscores his role as an antagonist whose flaws contribute to his downfall.

Polarity Changes: Failures that lead to temporary humility but revert quickly to arrogance.

Transformation Triggers: The escalating chaos during the weekend serves as a catalyst for reflection.

Suggestions

Add scenes where Miles faces consequences, emphasizing his resistance to change.
Show moments where he reflects on his actions to create a deeper character arc.

Follow-up Questions

What would make him recognize the flaws in his behavior?
Is there a tipping point where he might see the consequences of his actions?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Miles's dialogue is riddled with buzzwords and flashy metaphors, showcasing his attempt to present himself as a visionary. His vocabulary reflects a deep-seated need for status and recognition. As the plot progresses, his speech becomes increasingly frantic and defensive, revealing cracks in his confident facade. The stark contrast between his eloquence and the absurdity of his claims adds a layer of humor and insight into his psyche.

Unique Voice: Speaks in an ambitious and often pretentious manner, full of jargon related to disruption and innovation.

Suggestions

Incorporate more symbolic language that reflects his character development.
Consider varying his tone during moments of stress to show different facets of his personality.

Follow-up Questions

How does his speech change when he feels threatened?
What phrases or mannerisms can be used to consistently showcase his pretentiousness?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 7

Miles often makes choices that prioritize his image over the wellbeing of others. His manipulative nature leads him to orchestrate the weekend gathering, believing himself the ultimate puppeteer of fate. However, his need for affirmation drives him to engage in rash decisions that lead to eventual chaos. This disconnect between his desires and actual needs shapes his actions throughout the screenplay.

Motivations: To be seen as a disruptor and a genius inventor.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires success and public admiration; needs to confront his own failings and acknowledge his limits.

Suggestions

Highlight more of Miles's strategic thinking to illustrate his manipulative prowess.
Show more contrasting moments where he could have chosen differently to bolster conflict.

Follow-up Questions

What options does Miles overlook due to his arrogance?
How do his choices impact others aside from himself?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 7

Miles maintains relationships that largely serve his interests and bolster his ego. The complexity of his dynamics becomes clear when conflict arises, revealing the transactional nature of his friendships. He often projects an image of camaraderie but is ultimately self-serving, leading to a confrontation with his peers that highlights their intertwined fates and reveals the fragility of their bond.

Suggestions

Explore his relationships with more depth to show how they influence his decisions.
Incorporate conflicts that test these relationships to enhance drama.

Follow-up Questions

What would force Miles to confront the fragility of his friendships?
How do his manipulative tendencies affect each character individually?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

Miles's presence often results in tension, as his grandiose ideas clash with reality. His climactic decisions catalyze the unraveling of relationships and the escalation of the plot’s conflict. Scenes featuring Miles are pivotal moments where his flawed judgement leads to other characters' reactions, either igniting confrontation or revealing deeper insights into their motivations.

Suggestions

Craft pivotal scenes that challenge Miles and force him to reflect on his actions.
Introduce reactions from supporting characters to make scenes more dynamic.

Follow-up Questions

How do his actions reshape the narrative's direction?
What emotional beats could be enhanced by his decisions in key scenes?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

Miles fulfills the role of an antagonist, resisting the protagonists' efforts and challenging them directly through his deceptive practices. He reflects the societal greed and ambition that can corrupt relationships and morals. His narrative function serves to underscore the screenplay's themes of disruption, betrayal, and the consequences of self-absorption.

Symbolic Role: Symbolizes the dangers of unchecked ambition and the superficial nature of fame.

Suggestions

Add parallels between Miles and other characters to strengthen thematic elements.
Utilize symbolism in his actions to make connections to broader themes.

Follow-up Questions

How does his journey relate to the film's overarching message?
Could Miles's role be subverted in any way to surprise the audience?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Miles’s character drives the central conflict of the narrative, propelling themes such as ambition and moral decay. His flaws bring tension to the plot and his relationships with others reflect the larger societal issues at play. The resolutions of these themes in relation to Miles's actions ultimately shape the narrative's dramatic conclusion.

Suggestions

Create stronger connections between Miles’s ambitions and the film's themes.
Develop scenes that reflect the consequences of disruption in a palpable way.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways can Miles's role highlight societal critiques?
How do his actions amplify or challenge the thematic messages of the screenplay?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 7

Miles brings a complex emotional response from the audience as his bravado clashes with the impending chaos he creates. Moments of confrontation reveal the vulnerability behind his mask, eliciting a mix of anger, sympathy, and tension. His downfall elicits a cathartic release, allowing viewers to engage emotionally as they witness the consequences of his hubris.

Emotional Impact: Drives feelings of frustration and anger at his arrogance.

Suggestions

Increase moments of vulnerability to spark empathy.
Balance scenes of tension with constructive emotional beats.

Follow-up Questions

What emotional responses should be evoked in key scenes?
How can his arrogance be contrasted to deepen audience engagement?

Personality Types

MBTI: entj

Miles exhibits strong ENTJ traits, notably his decisiveness, confidence in leadership, and a tendency to engage in strategic manipulation.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: estj (55%)

Suggestions

Leverage the ENTJ traits to explore how Miles's strategic nature shapes his relationships.
Consider integrating scenes where his decision-making is challenged to amplify his character arc.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways do his ENTJ traits backfire in the narrative?
How can other characters reflect or challenge his personality type?

Enneagram: three

Miles embodies the achiever personality type, constantly striving for success and recognition, potentially at the cost of integrity.

Confidence: 90%

Possible Alternative Type: seven (60%)

Suggestions

Create scenes that delve into his fear of failure to enhance his character's emotional complexity.
Use triggers from the environment to show how pressure alters his behavior.

Follow-up Questions

What core fear drives his desire for success?
How does his need for acclaim shape his interactions with others?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (49)

In the climactic moments of chaos and destruction, Miles’s arrogance leads to his ultimate downfall, signifying the consequences of his actions and highlighting the themes of ambition.

Why: This scene embodies the culmination of his character arc, showcasing the direct results of his reckless behavior and incompetence while provoking emotional responses from the audience.

Weakest Scene (0)

none

Why: none

Suggestions:

none
none

Helen - Score: 87/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: INTJ
Enneagram: Type 1 (The Reformer)

Scenes

Strongest: #148

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

Helen seeks justice for her sister's murder.

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Emotional wounds fuel her quest for justice.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 9/10

Helen's journey transforms her from a grieving sister to a determined justice-seeker.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Helen's dialogue is marked by strength and emotional intensity.

Behavior And Choices 9/10

Helen's choices are motivated by a drive for truth and justice.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Helen’s relationships reflect betrayal, grief, and emerging alliances.

Scene Impact 9/10

Helen serves as a catalyst for tension and resolution across several key scenes.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Helen's role is essential as the protagonist seeking justice.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Helen embodies the core themes of justice and moral complexity.

Emotional Resonance 9/10

Empathetic journey from grief to empowerment.

Foundational Definition

Score: 9

Helen Brand is a determined and intelligent woman who seeks justice for her sister, Andi, after her suspicious death. Her strong sense of justice and emotional connection to her sister drive her actions throughout the story. Helen's values are rooted in integrity and loyalty to family, particularly the desire to uncover the truth behind Andi's death and to hold those responsible accountable. Her arrival on the scene for the weekend gathering of 'disruptors' signifies her resolve to confront the group that betrayed Andi.

Values And Beliefs: Family loyalty, Desire for justice, Integrity

Strengths And Skills: Intelligence, Determination, Resourcefulness

Suggestions

Show more moments of Helen reflecting on her sister’s legacy to deepen her motivation.
Include flashbacks of her relationship with Andi to build emotional resonance.

Follow-up Questions

What specific traits of Helen's can enhance her interactions with other characters?
How might Helen's values conflict with those of the characters she confronts?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 8

Helen struggles with emotional pain from her sister's death, which propels her into action but also leaves her vulnerable to emotional outbursts. This emotional wound influences her decisions, as she balances her quest for justice with the connections she builds with the group that betrayed Andi. Her internal conflict grows as she grapples with her anger towards Miles and the 'disruptors', complicating her interactions with them.

Character Wound: The loss of her sister and feeling unrecognized by the disruptors.

Character Flaws: Impulsiveness, Emotional vulnerability

Suggestions

Explore Helen's internal struggle in scenes to show her complexity.
Enhance dialogues with subtext that reflects her emotional turmoil.

Follow-up Questions

What past experiences may have influenced Helen's approach to confrontation?
How could her emotional wounds be visually represented in the script?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 9

Helen evolves throughout the narrative, initially consumed by her emotional wounds to becoming a confident agent for justice. Key turning points include her decision to confront the disruptors at the island and her eventual climatic actions against Miles. Her choices propel her towards a path of empowerment and retribution, challenging her to assert agency in a world that marginalized her sister.

Polarity Changes: Helen transitions from grief and anger into decisive action against Miles.

Transformation Triggers: Discovering the truth behind Andi's death and confronting the disruptors.

Suggestions

Highlight key scenes that depict her self-assertion against the disruptors.
Emphasize moments of realization where Helen acknowledges her power.

Follow-up Questions

What would trigger a moment of doubt in Helen's quest for justice?
How could her growth alter her relationships with the other characters?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Helen's speech reflects her intelligence and determination, often laced with emotional weight as she articulates her pain and anger. Her dialogue evolves from being timid to assertive as she gains confidence and clarity in her mission. The contrast in her tone captures her journey and highlights her complexity.

Unique Voice: Direct, assertive, with occasional vulnerability reflecting her inner turmoil.

Suggestions

Incorporate more moments where Helen challenges others to reflect her assertive growth.
Use pauses and emphatic speech to showcase her emotional stakes.

Follow-up Questions

How can her speech evolve to further illustrate her changing dynamics with the 'disruptors'?
What catchphrases or keywords might define her character more strongly?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 9

Helen's actions reflect her unwavering quest for truth, seen in her decision to confront the disruptors and ultimately take radical actions to ensure that the truth about her sister's death becomes known. Her behavior shifts from passive mourning to active confrontation, reshaping her relationships and the narrative's trajectory.

Motivations: Revenge for her sister’s murder and exposing the truth behind Andi's death.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires revenge but needs to process grief appropriately and reconnect with her sense of power.

Suggestions

Show moments of hesitation in her choices to add depth to her character.
Emphasize interactions with the disruptors that reveal her moral compass.

Follow-up Questions

What choices could Helen make that might lead her down a darker path?
How do her actions impact the group dynamics?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Helen navigates turbulent relationships with the disruptors, feeling both allegiance to her sister while grappling with their betrayal. Her connection with Blanc both supports her quest and challenges her, as he serves as a mentor and moral compass. Throughout the story, these dynamics drive her character development and enhance the narrative conflict.

Suggestions

Explore subtler connections with Blanc that highlight trust and mentorship.
Expose her emotional responses to confrontations with characters who betrayed Andi.

Follow-up Questions

How do the relationships evolve as the truth unfolds?
What is the impact of her emotional state on her interactions with others?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

Her presence escalates conflicts, particularly in scenes where she confronts Miles and the disruptors. Helen’s assertive actions and emotional revelations provoke reactions from the others, driving the plot forward and heightening stakes, especially as the truth about Andi’s demise comes to light.

Suggestions

Heighten her reactions in critical confrontation scenes to amplify her impact.
Develop side characters' responses to Helen’s actions to enrich the scene dynamics.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes can be enhanced by focusing more on Helen's response to others?
How does Helen's impact shift the mood of each scene she plays a part in?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

As the central protagonist, Helen's journey is pivotal. Her role is integral to the narrative-driven conflict; she embodies the themes of betrayal, justice, and familial loyalty. Through her arc, the screenplay explores broader societal issues like power and victimhood, making her role essential to the story’s message.

Symbolic Role: Representing the truth and the quest for justice against power.

Suggestions

Consider how to deepen Helen's involvement in scenes to amplify her protagonist qualities.
Ensure her decisions lead to meaningful consequences that highlight her role.

Follow-up Questions

How can her role be emphasized in key plot reversals?
What moments might challenge her protagonist standing?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

Helen’s journey integrates with themes of loyalty, truth, and the moral implications of vengeance. Her drive for justice directly intersects with the disruptors’ flawed values, propelling the narrative’s exploration of complicity and consequence while testing the limits of individual ethics.

Suggestions

Clarify her connection to the central themes through her interactions and confrontations.
Use dialogue to probe deeper into Helen's perspective on morality and justice.

Follow-up Questions

What narrative themes could benefit from Helen's perspective?
How do her actions reflect or challenge the central themes of the screenplay?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 9

Helen’s arc and emotional struggles evoke strong responses from the audience as they journey with her through grief, rage, and the pursuit of justice. Her character’s resonate complexity enhances emotional engagement, making her plight relatable and compelling.

Emotional Impact: Audience feels a mix of sympathy, anger, and empowerment through her journey.

Suggestions

Heighten emotional stakes in Helen’s confrontations to deepen audience engagement.
Focus on key moments that reflect her emotional transformations.

Follow-up Questions

How can her emotional journey be relatable to the audience?
What scenes might need more emotional depth to resonate with viewers?

Personality Types

MBTI: intj

Helen displays strong traits of planning, strategic thinking, and a desire for justice, which align with INTJ characteristics.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: infj (70%)

Suggestions

Explore how Helen's strategic mindset can help in her interactions.
Delve deeper into her intuitive side to enhance emotional connections.

Follow-up Questions

What aspects of her personality can reveal themselves through her interactions?
How might her MBTI type influence her reactions to confrontations?

Enneagram: type 1 (the reformer)

Helen embodies the idealistic nature of Type 1 as she fights for justice and seeks to make things right.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: type 8 (the challenger) (70%)

Suggestions

Utilize her Type 1 attributes to show her strong moral compass.
Highlight moments where her challenger traits emerge during confrontations.

Follow-up Questions

How does Helen’s desire for justice manifest in her actions?
What motivations underpin her value-driven approach?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (148)

In the climax where Helen sets fire to the Glass Onion, symbolizing the destruction of Miles' empire.

Why: This scene encapsulates her arc from mourning to empowerment and illustrates her emotional depth and desire for justice.

Weakest Scene (0)

none

Why: none

Suggestions:

none
none

Birdie - Score: 64/100

Personality

MBTI: ESFP
Enneagram: Type 2 – The Helper

Scenes

Strongest: #11
Weakest: #10

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 7/10

Model-turned-designer with a candid personality.

Complexity And Depth 6/10

Hidden vulnerabilities behind her glamorous facade.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 5/10

Birdie's journey is mostly circular with a slight growth towards awareness about her past.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Her speech is characterized by humor, naivety, and a directness that keeps her relatable.

Behavior And Choices 6/10

Birdie's actions often stem from a desire to maintain her social position juxtaposed with genuine concern for her friends.

Relationship Dynamics 7/10

Birdie's relationships are characterized by a mix of admiration and tension within the disruptor group.

Scene Impact 6/10

Birdie often provides comic relief while also acting as a foil to darker themes.

Role Fulfillment 6/10

Birdie fulfills a comedic role while embodying the archetype of the glamorous yet flawed socialite.

Thematic Plot Integration 7/10

Birdie's experiences intersect with themes of social status, truth, and friendship.

Emotional Resonance 6/10

Her comedic role elicits sympathy and humor.

Foundational Definition

Score: 7

Birdie Jay is presented as a former model turned designer who appears to embody a carefree and somewhat oblivious persona. Her character is defined by her candidness and tendency to speak her mind, often without a filter. Throughout the screenplay, she represents a socialite caught in the intersection of fame and personal shortcomings, showcasing both shallow concerns and underlying emotional struggles related to her past. This foundation shapes her interactions, as she often finds herself in humorous yet uncomfortable situations.

Values And Beliefs: Expressing truth as one sees it, maintaining her image, connecting with influential people.

Strengths And Skills: Artistic creativity in fashion, social networking, comedic timing.

Suggestions

Exploit her outspoken nature in pivotal moments to enhance drama.
Develop her backstory to reveal more about her rise and struggles in the fashion industry.

Follow-up Questions

What motivated Birdie to participate in the weekend gathering despite potential turmoil?
How does Birdie's past influence her current relationships with the other disruptors?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 6

Birdie reveals emotional layers through her interactions that showcase vulnerabilities hidden beneath her glamorous surface. She struggles with the consequences of past decisions, grappling with guilt and regret, particularly surrounding her rushed ventures post-pandemic. Her desire to uphold a strong public persona contrasts with her underlying fear of irrelevance and being judged by her peers, making her character's emotional journey more nuanced.

Character Wound: Fear of losing relevance and being misunderstood.

Character Flaws: Occasionally ignorant to social issues, naive in her trust of others.

Suggestions

Integrate moments of introspection where Birdie reflects on her past.
Show her grappling with decisions that jeopardize her friendships to draw out deeper conflict.

Follow-up Questions

What flashbacks or moments could showcase Birdie's emotional history?
How does her naivety lead to conflict with other characters?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 5

While Birdie exhibits some growth as she realizes the consequences of her words and actions during the weekend, her progression remains somewhat limited. Key scenes trigger moments of self-awareness but sometimes revert to her carefree persona. Her evolution could be more pronounced if she took a clearer stand against the wrongdoings around her.

Polarity Changes: Birdie experiences moments of realization during discussions about their friendship, leading to her potential advocacy or allyship with Andi.

Transformation Triggers: The unfolding dynamics of the weekend and the heightened stakes of their friendship as opposed to personal ambitions.

Suggestions

Create a scenario where Birdie has to choose between her career and friendship.
Push her boundaries to confront a moral dilemma to show character growth.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events could catalyze a major change in Birdie's perspective?
How does she react to the conflict around her without her typical comic relief?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Birdie's dialogue often elicits laughter through her obliviousness about social nuances. Her humorous remarks are complemented by a tendency to misunderstand sensitive topics, showcasing both her lack of awareness and charm. The evolution of her speech reflects her character's state of mind and the dynamics of her relationships.

Unique Voice: Catchphrases, humor-filled quips that reveal her unfiltered nature.

Suggestions

Amplify her comedic quirkiness in critical conversations.
Introduce moments of self-awareness in her dialogue as she learns from her mistakes.

Follow-up Questions

What are some key phrases or jokes that define Birdie's character?
How can her dialogue reveal deeper insights into her character over time?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 6

Birdie's choices throughout the screenplay often reflect her inclination to seek approval while navigating the complex dynamic of friendship. Her behavior showcases a blend of seeking fun and superficial connection, which sometimes puts her at odds with the reality of her friendship with Andi and the group. This leads her to make decisions that are both relatable and misguided.

Motivations: Maintaining her image and seeking reassurance from her social circle.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires validation through social interactions, but needs genuine connection and understanding.

Suggestions

Show Birdie actively confronting her fears about friendships.
Increase the stakes of her decisions by showcasing consequences that impact others.

Follow-up Questions

What moments could illustrate Birdie's internal conflict between social pressure and personal values?
How do her choices affect the broader group dynamics in critical scenes?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 7

Her connection with the other disruptors reveals nuances of camaraderie and conflict, particularly regarding their ambitions and rivalry with Miles. Birdie navigates her dynamics with care, showcasing loyalty but also sometimes naive judgment of others. This could serve to deepen the dramatic tension and reveal the stakes of their reality in various situations.

Suggestions

Strengthen her interactions with Andi to showcase contrasting values.
Create antagonistic encounters with Miles that test her loyalty to her friends.

Follow-up Questions

How does Birdie's relationship with each character change over the course of the weekend?
What key interactions can showcase her growth or lack thereof within the group?

Scene Impact

Score: 6

Her presence in scenes typically lightens the mood, with comedic remarks that contrast the tension-heavy moments. By offering levity, she also subtly underscores the gravity of situations faced by her friends, highlighting the dissonance in their circumstances.

Suggestions

Position Birdie in pivotal scenes to balance gravity with humor.
Allow her to reflect in quieter moments to juxtapose her loud personality.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes need more levity that could effectively feature Birdie's humor?
How can her impact on tone shift in critical dramatic scenes?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 6

As a character in a wealthy social circle, Birdie embodies the archetype of a glamorous figure with humorous flaws. Her choices often peel back the layers of the lives of the disruptors, supporting the major themes of aspiration versus reality. While fulfilling tropes, she also possesses elements that hold the potential for deeper exploration.

Symbolic Role: Represents the superficiality of fame and the quest for authenticity.

Suggestions

Delve deeper into Birdie's motivations to subvert her archetypical role.
Link her experiences more explicitly to broader themes in the screenplay to strengthen her role.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways can Birdie's role evolve in response to traumatic events in the narrative?
Are there moments where she can challenge the archetypes she embodies?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 7

Her journey through the story aligns closely with the overarching themes of ambition and authenticity. As she navigates her relationships against the backdrop of celebrity culture and moral ambiguity, Birdie sheds light on the conflict between personal aspirations and social responsibility.

Suggestions

Highlight her inner conflict during climatic moments to engage the audience deeper.
Enhance interactions that directly challenge the themes of superficiality versus authenticity.

Follow-up Questions

How does Birdie's growth reflect the central themes of the screenplay?
What key moments unite her personal journey with the story’s overarching messages?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 6

The combination of lightheartedness and her comedic missteps allows the audience to resonate emotionally with both her vulnerabilities and the absurdity of her circumstances. Her ability to confront uncomfortable truths with levity can engage viewers and provide moments of pause amidst the chaos.

Emotional Impact: Birdie's character evokes a mix of sympathy and humor, illustrating life’s absurdity.

Suggestions

Create moments for genuine emotional outbursts to deepen audience connection.
Allow her humor to shine through in serious scenes to balance emotional weight.

Follow-up Questions

What aspects of Birdie's humor could be more emotional or poignant?
How can her emotional responses impact the overall tone in key scenes?

Personality Types

MBTI: esfp

Her vibrant personality, love for social interactions, and tendency to act on instinct suggest ESFP traits.

Confidence: 80%

Suggestions

Use her ESFP nature to deepen social interactions traits in complex scenes.
Highlight ESFP characteristics in critical emotional moments.

Follow-up Questions

What specific moments reveal her ESFP tendencies the most?
How could she contrast with more reflective characters to highlight her traits?

Enneagram: type 2 – the helper

Birdie exhibits traits of a Type 2 through her desire to connect and please others, often at the cost of her own emotional awareness.

Confidence: 75%

Suggestions

Integrate scenarios that force Birdie to confront her own needs versus her desire to help.
Allow conflicts to arise from her helpfulness to stress the role of boundaries.

Follow-up Questions

What moments could challenge her as a helper?
How do her choices reflect Type 2 characteristics throughout the screenplay?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (11)

Birdie's reaction as she helps solve the puzzle box showcases her humor and wit, feeding into the upbeat energy of the scene.

Why: This scene allows her character to shine through clever dialogue while supporting the plot.

Weakest Scene (10)

Birdie's participation in Duke's garage scene appears overly naïve and lacks impactful engagement.

Why: Her role in this scene feels isolated and does not contribute meaningfully to the narrative developments.

Suggestions:

Revise Birdie's lines during this scene to deepen her emotional connection.
Introduce stakes to enhance her presence in conversations.

Andi - Score: 84/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: INTJ

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

A brilliant entrepreneur grappling with betrayal.

Complexity And Depth 9/10

A character deeply wounded by betrayal.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

Andi’s arc illustrates a journey from victimhood to empowerment.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Andi's dialogue is reflective and emotive, revealing her inner turmoil.

Behavior And Choices 9/10

Andi's choices are driven by her quest for justice and truth.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Andi's relationships are heavily influenced by betrayal and power struggle.

Scene Impact 9/10

Andi's presence and actions escalate the emotional stakes.

Role Fulfillment 8/10

Andi embodies the role of the moral compass seeking justice.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Andi's personal struggles intertwine with themes of betrayal and redemption.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Andi stirs deep emotional engagement through her journey.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Andi is depicted as a brilliant and ambitious entrepreneur who was instrumental in founding Alpha, a tech company. Her strong moral compass, especially in regard to corporate ethics and exploitation, sets her apart. She values authenticity, truth, and justice, which are tested by betrayal from those she once considered friends. This betrayal culminates in a devastating personal and professional conflict that motivates her actions throughout the story.

Values And Beliefs: Authenticity, justice, corporate ethics

Strengths And Skills: Intelligence, leadership, determination, strategic thinker

Suggestions

Explore Andi's backstory more deeply to add layers to her motivation.
Show more flashbacks of Andi's earlier relationship with Miles to illustrate their dynamic.

Follow-up Questions

How did Andi's upbringing influence her values regarding business ethics?
What specific experiences led to Andi founding Alpha with Miles?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 9

Andi's inner conflict is rooted in feelings of betrayal and loss. After her former business partner Miles betrayed her, she feels anger and desperation. Her emotional wound is compounded by the intense public scrutiny that stems from her lawsuit against Miles, creating a sense of vulnerability masked by her determination. This emotional depth occasionally seeps into her actions, revealing a character who is both fierce and deeply hurt.

Character Wound: Feelings of betrayal and loss related to Miles

Character Flaws: Anger, impulsiveness, struggles with betrayal

Suggestions

Introduce moments that showcase Andi's vulnerability to create empathy.
Develop interactions with other characters to reveal her emotional depth and complexity.

Follow-up Questions

How does Andi cope with her emotional pain throughout the narrative?
What moments specifically trigger Andi's anger in response to her past?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 8

Andi begins as a victim of circumstance, struggling with the emotional ramifications of her betrayal. Following her sister's death, she transitions into a proactive agent of change, seeking justice. Her journey emphasizes resilience, and as she confronts her enemies, she grows more empowered.

Polarity Changes: Experiencing loss and betrayal to finding determination to confront Miles.

Transformation Triggers: Revelation of the truth about her sister’s death and desire for justice.

Suggestions

Highlight key events in Andi's timeline that illustrate her transformation.
Provide impactful dialogues that enhance her metamorphosis from victim to avenger.

Follow-up Questions

What significant moments in Andi's journey propel her towards empowerment?
How does Andi's relationship with other characters evolve as she changes?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Andi's speech patterns reflect her authenticity and intelligence. She often balances her emotional state with a matter-of-fact approach, especially when discussing corporate ethics or her sister's death. Her dialogue evolves from reflective to confrontational as the stakes rise, illustrating her growing determination.

Unique Voice: Straightforward, emotionally charged with moments of vulnerability.

Suggestions

Add more subtext to Andi’s dialogues, hinting at her internal conflicts.
Create dialogues that reveal her past experiences with Miles to paint a richer character.

Follow-up Questions

What phrases does Andi use that encapsulate her character evolution?
How do her dialogues shift in tone when she confronts adversaries compared to allies?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 9

Andi's choices, from accepting the invitation to confront her former friends to smashing items in a moment of rage, strongly reflect her motivations. Each action is fueled by her desire to establish her truth and expose the betrayal she suffered, showcasing her transformation from a passive character to an active participant in her fate.

Motivations: Seeking justice for her sister's death and reclaiming her dignity.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires revenge and justice; needs to confront her inner turmoil and overcome betrayal.

Suggestions

Further illustrate the implications of her choices on other characters.
Add scenes that showcase her decision-making process in pursuing justice.

Follow-up Questions

What specific moments denote the turning point in Andi's behavior?
How do her decisions impact the actions of the other characters?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

The core of Andi's relationships revolves around the betrayals by her once-closest allies. Her dynamic with Miles highlights themes of ambition and morality, showcasing a mentor-turned-adversary relationship. The emotional scars of betrayal shape her interactions with the other disruptors, making her wary but determined.

Suggestions

Explore her past relationships and how they have shaped her character.
Strengthen dialogues with other characters indicating her feelings about their betrayal.

Follow-up Questions

What dynamics are present in Andi's interactions that parallel her internal struggle?
How do her relationships evolve across the narrative arc?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

Throughout the screenplay, Andi drastically impacts scenes with her emotional turmoil. From her explosive confrontation with Miles to moments of vulnerability, she shifts the atmosphere from tension to chaos, particularly when revealing her motivations connected to her sister's death. Her critical choices in pivotal scenes serve to highlight the narrative's emotional weight.

Suggestions

Plan specific scenes where her presence changes the scene's tone significantly.
Show how her actions resonate with other characters on stage.

Follow-up Questions

Which scenes exhibit Andi behaving unpredictably yet impactfully?
How can Andi’s pivotal moments be crafted to heighten emotional resonance?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 8

As the narrative unfolds, Andi serves as the moral compass amidst a group of morally ambiguous characters. Her journey portrays the conflict between ambition and ethics, making her the emotional center of the story. The desperation she feels for justice encapsulates various themes of the screenplay, from vengeance to the unearthing of truth.

Symbolic Role: Represents the fight against exploitation and loyalty betrayal in business.

Suggestions

Emphasize moments where Andi stands in opposition to the moral failings of her peers.
Utilize visual storytelling to highlight her symbolic role against the backdrop of the disruptors’ actions.

Follow-up Questions

How can Andi’s role challenge the surrounding characters’ morals?
What ways can Andi's presence amplify the story's moral dialogues?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

The screenplay intertwines Andi’s journey of confronting betrayal and uncovering truths with the broader narrative themes of power dynamics and moral failure. Her quest aligns with the idea that betrayal leads to ruin, and her character arc serves as a crucial turning point, emphasizing the consequences of exploitative relationships.

Suggestions

Weave thematic statements more clearly through Andi’s personal arc.
Highlight scenes where Andi embodies thematic choices balancing personal and public interests.

Follow-up Questions

Which consistent themes are echoed in Andi's actions throughout the screenplay?
How does Andi's arc reinforce or challenge the larger narrative themes?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Throughout the screenplay, Andi’s transformation from victim to avenger resonates deeply with the audience, invoking sympathy for her losses and tension through her confrontations. Her emotional highs and lows effectively engage viewers, making her journey relatable and compelling.

Emotional Impact: Andi evokes sympathy and tension as she battles betrayal.

Suggestions

Elevate scenes to amplify audience emotional investment in Andi's journey.
Utilize music and cinematography to create harmonic emotional tones during pivotal moments.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes capture the audience's empathy towards Andi's plight most effectively?
How do Andi's emotional moments correlate with narrative pacing?

Personality Types

MBTI: intj

Andi exhibits characteristics of strategic thinking, decisiveness, and a strong drive for competence, typical traits of an INTJ.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: entj (60%)

Suggestions

Consider how Andi's INTJ traits manifest in her decision-making.
Explore her occasional social awkwardness or intensity in discourse.

Follow-up Questions

How does Andi's MBTI type influence her interactions with other characters?
What challenges does her personality type incur throughout the plot?

Claire - Score: 75/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ENTJ
Enneagram: Type 3 (The Achiever)

Scenes

Strongest: #8
Weakest: #3

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

A driven politician balancing public life and family chaos.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

A complex politician facing the toll of ambition on personal life.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 6/10

Claire's journey reflects her growth as a politician while facing personal dilemmas.

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Claire's dialogue reflects her sharp wit and political savvy.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Claire's decisions reflect her ambition and desire for validation within her political sphere.

Relationship Dynamics 7/10

Claire navigates various relationships that reflect her political and personal struggles.

Scene Impact 8/10

Claire's presence often drives the emotional tone of crucial scenes.

Role Fulfillment 8/10

Claire embodies the role of an ambitious politician balancing personal and public spheres.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Claire's journey intertwines with themes of ambition and personal compromise.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Clash of ambition and emotional vulnerability resonates strongly.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Claire Debella is introduced as a Connecticut governor and a candidate for the Senate. She embodies political ambition and a sharp wit, navigating the challenges of her campaign while managing a chaotic home life with three children and a husband, Devon. Claire’s profession and domestic responsibilities illustrate the balancing act many modern women face, and her sharpness signifies her determination to succeed in a male-dominated political environment. Her appearance in the kitchen, swaddled in beige, reinforces a duality of polished public persona versus the messy realities of life.

Values And Beliefs: Strong commitment to climate change policies, ambition, family.

Strengths And Skills: Highly articulate, strong leadership qualities, multitasking.

Suggestions

Integrate more personal stakes into Claire's campaign for a richer internal conflict.
Highlight her strategies to navigate political pressures and home responsibilities.

Follow-up Questions

How does Claire's political agenda directly influence her personal relationships?
What are specific moments that showcase her vulnerability amidst her ambition?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Despite her confident exterior, Claire carries the emotional weight of a politician overwhelmed by the demands of public life. Her character is revealed through her interactions with others, especially during high-pressure situations. She shows a willingness to play hardball in politics, suggesting potential moral dilemmas where ambition clashes with integrity. Her struggle is further deepened by her attempts to uphold family responsibilities.

Character Wound: The pressure of public scrutiny affecting her family dynamics.

Character Flaws: Potentially ruthless in political dealings, struggles with vulnerability.

Suggestions

Explore flashbacks or dialogue that reveal her family background and how it shaped her.
Show more moments of doubt or regret to make her more relatable.

Follow-up Questions

What specific internal conflicts emerge from her political choices?
How could past failures influence her decisions moving forward?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 6

Claire evolves as she confronts conflicting priorities in her professional and personal life. She exhibits confidence in political discourse but struggles with maintaining genuine friendships as the stakes rise. Her character arc hints at the potential for growth or the risk of losing herself to ambition as relationships become strained.

Polarity Changes: Rising tension during her campaign and personal challenges; peaks during crises with her friends.

Transformation Triggers: The pressures of her campaign alongside the unexpected chaos from her social circle.

Suggestions

Show consequences of her choices to deepen her characterization.
Develop her relationships with other characters to enhance her emotional journey.

Follow-up Questions

What does Claire ultimately learn about the cost of success?
Are there pivotal scenes that challenge her moral compass?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 7

Her speech patterns mirror a character that is both articulate and confident, often peppered with humor and a touch of sarcasm. Her dialogue tends to reflect a keen awareness of her surroundings and a strategic mindset, essential for a politician. The dialogue also captures relatable moments of mom-lore, balancing ambition with the humdrum family life.

Unique Voice: Witty, sharp-tongued, and focused on policy.

Suggestions

Emphasize her comedic timing to balance heavier moments.
Introduce moments where she reveals vulnerability in her speech.

Follow-up Questions

What metaphors or phrases resonate most with her constituents?
Are there moments when her dialogue contradicts her actions or beliefs?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Throughout the screenplay, Claire's actions consistently align with her goals of political success, reflecting her cutthroat determination. However, her choices—such as prioritizing her campaign over personal connections—show her internal struggle. This duality highlights both her strengths and shortcomings, making her a multi-dimensional character.

Motivations: To succeed in her political career while managing her family.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires recognition and respect as a politician; needs to connect and maintain meaningful relationships.

Suggestions

Reinforce the consequences of her choices by showing their impact on her relationships.
Develop backstory scenes that reveal past choices affecting her current state.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events trigger her toughest choices throughout the story?
How do her choices impact her relationship with her husband and children?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 7

Her relationships are characterized by tension and underlying competitive energy, especially among her friends and within her family. Claire engages deeply with her political allies and rivals, showcasing both her determination and the costs of her ambitions. Her dynamic with Devon and her children also reflects her attempts to juggle political duties and family life.

Suggestions

Enhance conflicts between Claire and her friends to reveal deeper themes.
Show her attempts to reconcile her political ambitions with her role as a mother.

Follow-up Questions

What pivotal moments shape her relationships with the other disruptors?
In moments of conflict, how does Claire balance her political values with personal loyalty?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

Claire's involvement in scenes is influential; she can create tension during campaign discussions and generate warmth during family moments. Her dialogue often shifts the emotional weight, showcasing her ability to navigate both personal and political complexities.

Suggestions

Enhance scenes where Claire's influence shifts group dynamics.
Add moments where Claire’s actions lead to significant consequences in the plot.

Follow-up Questions

Which scenes most effectively showcase her leadership qualities?
How does her presence change the emotional journey of other characters in key moments?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 8

Her narrative role is significant as she faces challenges inherent to female leadership and the difficulty of maintaining authenticity in her relationships. Claire symbolizes modern political ambition, wrestling with the expectations that come from her public persona and personal life.

Symbolic Role: Represents the struggle of women in politics.

Suggestions

Reinforce Claire’s symbolic struggles through thematic parallels.
Highlight moments where her role as a leader either aligns or conflicts with her personal duties.

Follow-up Questions

How does Claire’s role reflect broader societal themes in the screenplay?
What obstacles are unique to her role that advance the plot?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Her pursuit demonstrates the screenplay's exploration of the cost of ambition and moral integrity amid political correctness. Claire’s decisions frequently touch on the overarching theme where personal and public spheres collide, enriching the narrative with her struggles.

Suggestions

Emphasize Claire's struggles with ambition in crucial scenes.
Deepen thematic connections through collaborations with other characters.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways does Claire challenge or uphold the screenplay's thematic elements?
How do her actions complicate the primary narrative arc?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Claire’s character evokes a range of emotions from determination to vulnerability as she navigates her role as a politician and a mother. The audience is likely to empathize with her internal conflict and root for her successful balancing act.

Emotional Impact: Draws sympathy for her struggle between ambition and family responsibilities.

Suggestions

Incorporate more moments of vulnerability to strengthen emotional connection.
Explore interactions that showcase her softer, more relatable side.

Follow-up Questions

Which moments elicit the strongest emotional responses from the audience?
How can her character's pain resonate more deeply with viewers?

Personality Types

MBTI: entj

Personified by her strong leadership qualities, articulate communication, and assertive personality.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: estj (70%)

Suggestions

Emphasize her leadership moments to showcase her ENTJ traits.
Integrate scenes where she makes decisive choices in a crisis.

Follow-up Questions

What scenarios best reveal her natural leadership style?
How does her personality type manifest in challenging situations?

Enneagram: type 3 (the achiever)

Driven by success and validation, Claire's ambition embodies the pursuit of achievement characteristic of Type 3.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: type 2 (the helper) (65%)

Suggestions

Highlight her relational dynamics to draw out the Type 2 aspects.
Focus on what she sacrifices for the sake of achievement.

Follow-up Questions

How does Claire's pursuit of success affect her personal relationships?
What moments reveal her need for validation and the lengths she will go to attain it?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (8)

When Claire engages with Lionel and Birdie about the invitation, showing her sharp wit and ambition alongside her relationships.

Why: This scene effectively showcases her character's strengths and brings out her dynamics with others, enhancing her appeal as both a politician and a person.

Weakest Scene (3)

Claire in a scene completing a live interview while managing distractions at home.

Why: This scene may weaken her charisma as it centers less on her political skills and more on domestic chaos, diminishing her authoritative presence.

Suggestions:

Rework the scene to better highlight her ability to manage both worlds.
Add dialogue that emphasizes her political acumen even amid chaos.

Duke - Score: 65/100

Role

Antagonist

Personality

MBTI: ESTP
Enneagram: 3 - The Achiever

Scenes

Strongest: #34
Weakest: #9

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 7/10

Hyper-masculine influencer with reliance on fame.

Complexity And Depth 6/10

Arrogance masked by insecurity about worth.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 5/10

Duke's primary trajectory leads him to confrontation and subsequent demise, reinforcing themes of toxic masculinity.

Dialogue And Voice 6/10

Duke's dialogue reflects a brash, confrontational style typical of his persona.

Behavior And Choices 7/10

Duke's choices reflect his need to assert dominance and project an image of strength.

Relationship Dynamics 6/10

Duke exhibits turbulent relationships marked by rivalry and superficiality.

Scene Impact 7/10

Duke’s presence often escalates tension and conflict.

Role Fulfillment 7/10

Duke serves as a foil to other characters, highlighting themes of privilege and power.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Duke's journey mirrors the screenplay's exploration of deception and ambition.

Emotional Resonance 6/10

Elicits frustration while showcasing the impact of masculinity.

Foundational Definition

Score: 7

Duke Cody is characterized as a hyper-masculine, social media influencer obsessed with his public image and notoriety. He fits into the archetype of the bro culture, often utilizing aggressive rhetoric and a bravado that masks his insecurities. This behavior is exacerbated by his dependence on a wealthy patron, Miles Bron, and his motivations pivot on maintaining this relationship to further his own brand.

Values And Beliefs: Power, Influence, Public Image

Strengths And Skills: Charisma, Physicality, Media Savvy

Suggestions

Explore deeper emotional layers by introducing past insecurities.
Show the impact of his online persona on his real-life relationships.

Follow-up Questions

How does Duke’s dependency on Miles affect his self-perception?
What is Duke’s relationship with his followers, and how does it shape him?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 6

Duke harbors an emotional wound stemming from his need for validation, which influences his decisions and behaviors significantly. His flaws include arrogance and impulsiveness, often leading him into reckless situations—a reflection of a desperate need to prove himself. Internally, he struggles with the fact that his success is tied to the whims of a richer, more powerful figure, creating a potential for deeper character growth.

Character Wound: Need for validation

Character Flaws: Arrogance, Impulsiveness

Suggestions

Add moments of vulnerability to highlight internal struggle.
Develop relationships where he might experience genuine connection.

Follow-up Questions

What personal sacrifices has Duke made in pursuit of fame?
How does Duke reconcile his public persona with his private self?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 5

Initially, Duke seems self-assured and confident, driving his actions, but as conflict escalates, the reality of his situation unravels. His journey suggests a potential for redemption he ultimately does not seize, remaining a victim of his own flaws.

Polarity Changes: Rising tension at parties leading to confrontation.

Transformation Triggers: Duke’s discovery of threats against his stature and influence.

Suggestions

Introduce a critical event that shakes his worldview.
Show opportunities for him to break free but choose not to.

Follow-up Questions

What pivotal moment could cause Duke to reflect on his choices?
How might the narrative change if Duke were to genuinely seek personal growth?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 6

Duke often employs aggressive humor and colloquial language that amplifies his persona as a provocateur. While this fits his character, moments of genuine emotion through dialogue can add depth and resonance.

Unique Voice: Catchphrases aligned with backslapping bravado and inflammatory remarks.

Suggestions

Infuse vulnerability into his dialogue in moments of stress.
Use contrasting language during tension to show character depth.

Follow-up Questions

Are there lines that can show vulnerability amidst his bravado?
What pivotal exchange could showcase a softer side?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 7

Duke's aggressive behavior often results from self-serving motivation; however, it blinds him to deeper relational dynamics affecting his life. His choices lead to key plot developments—both comedic and tragic—and often serve as a mirror to the other characters’ flaws.

Motivations: Climbing social media rankings and maintaining his lifestyle.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires recognition versus a need for acceptance.

Suggestions

Expose consequences of his choices to drive character development.
Provide moments where he could choose differently, increasing tension.

Follow-up Questions

What moment could push Duke to act against his typical pattern?
How do other characters influence his choices driving the plot?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 6

His connections are primarily transactional, particularly with Miles; he simultaneously displays jealousy and dependence on the validation Miles provides. This dynamic ultimately reveals the shallowness of his relationships and foreshadows his tragic end.

Suggestions

Introduce a subplot where Duke confronts a character on their relationship.
Establish backstory with past relationships to create emotional stakes.

Follow-up Questions

How would Duke's relationships evolve if challenged?
What external pressures would cause Duke to assess his connections with others?

Scene Impact

Score: 7

As a key disruptor, Duke's choices create significant plot shifts and conflicts that propel the story forward. His actions provide humor and drive character arcs, but there's potential for him to add more complexity.

Suggestions

Include more scenes that showcase unique impacts from his choices.
Draft moments of introspection to contrast with his otherwise brash behavior.

Follow-up Questions

What moments could Duke be pivotal aside from the conflict?
How can Duke’s presence elevate emotional intensity in scenes?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 7

His narrative role reveals underlying themes of ambition, style over substance, and the perils of personal loyalty. Duke's arc juxtaposes the struggles of others, emphasizing differing approaches to power and influence.

Symbolic Role: Embodies toxic masculinity reflecting societal pressures.

Suggestions

Explore irony in his image vs. reality during heightened events.
Use him to question norms represented by the 'disruptors'.

Follow-up Questions

How might Duke’s role be subverted to create a fresh perspective?
What would happen if Duke aligned with another character's purpose?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

His internal conflicts and motivations encapsulate broader themes about morality, ambition, and the dangers of unquestioned loyalty; his choices contribute to the unfolding mystery and character dynamics curbing individual growth among the disruptors.

Suggestions

Strengthen his connection to the core themes of deception throughout.
Create interactions that reinforce thematic significance in the climax.

Follow-up Questions

What moments can represent the overarching theme reflected in Duke's story?
How does Duke embody the intricate web of themes set out in the screenplay?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 6

Duke’s actions offer both comedic relief and tension, influencing audience perceptions of masculinity and societal expectations. While he evokes a certain disdain, his arc also presents an opportunity for empathy.

Emotional Impact: Audience may feel frustration towards Duke's arrogance.

Suggestions

Introduce moments of self-reflection to enhance audience connection.
Expand emotional scenes to deepen their experiences with Duke.

Follow-up Questions

What moments might make the audience empathize with Duke?
How does Duke's journey elicit stronger emotional responses from viewers?

Personality Types

MBTI: estp

Duke expresses strong extroverted tendencies through his boldness and assertive character traits.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: entp (65%)

Suggestions

Draw on his extroverted nature to create compelling interactions.
Consider moments to challenge his blunt approach to social dynamics.

Follow-up Questions

What situations necessitate Duke to step away from his usual extroverted responses?
Are there instances where his thinking could be more reflective?

Enneagram: 3 - the achiever

Motivated by success and recognition, Duke embodies drive and ambition but also reveals social competition.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: 8 - the challenger (60%)

Suggestions

Explore internal competition with other characters for authenticity.
Add layers where Duke must confront perceived failures.

Follow-up Questions

How does Duke's drive for success affect his connection with others?
What crime or weakness might Duke fear revealing to those around him?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (34)

Duke's participation in the dinner reveals his arrogance and underlying desperation.

Why: This scene encapsulates his relationships with other characters, highlighting his vulnerable motivations and showcasing his aggressive need for validation.

Weakest Scene (9)

Duke broadcasts a disingenuous attempt to assert his masculinity.

Why: The scene lacks depth, showcasing superficial qualities without revealing vulnerabilities.

Suggestions:

Infuse emotional stakes to enhance dramatic tension.
Create conflict that reflects subtler societal flaws in Duke's character.

Lionel - Score: 65/100

Role

Supporting Character

Personality

MBTI: INFP
Enneagram: Type 1

Scenes

Strongest: #11
Weakest: #5

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 7/10

Lionel is a cautious scientist entangled in conflicts of ethics and loyalty.

Complexity And Depth 6/10

Lionel faces internal conflicts related to ambition and ethics.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 5/10

Lionel remains conflicted yet loyal throughout the story.

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Lionel's speech reflects his scientific background and inner conflict.

Behavior And Choices 6/10

Lionel's decisions often reflect his internal conflicts.

Relationship Dynamics 6/10

Lionel interacts primarily with Miles and other disruptors.

Scene Impact 7/10

Lionel enforces a sense of caution in scenes.

Role Fulfillment 6/10

Lionel acts primarily as a foil to Miles.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Lionel embodies ethical conflict amid ambition.

Emotional Resonance 7/10

Lionel generates empathy through his ethical struggles.

Foundational Definition

Score: 7

Lionel is a scientist who works closely with Miles Bron. He embodies the characteristics of an intelligent but cautious individual who is passionate about science yet finds himself caught in a web of personal and professional conflicts due to his association with Bron. This foundation shapes his actions as he grapples with the ethical ramifications of their endeavors, including the potential dangers posed by Bron’s inventions, particularly Klear.

Values And Beliefs: Ethical responsibility in science, skepticism of reckless innovation.

Strengths And Skills: Scientific knowledge, analytical thinking, ability to navigate complex interpersonal relationships.

Suggestions

Develop Lionel's backstory to provide context for his ethical struggles.
Highlight moments where Lionel's scientific skills directly conflict with his loyalty to Miles.

Follow-up Questions

What past experiences shaped Lionel's strong ethical stance regarding science?
How does Lionel's relationship with Miles affect his moral compass throughout the screenplay?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 6

Lionel struggles with his loyalty to Miles versus his growing unease regarding the morality of their projects, especially concerning Klear. He has emotional wounds surrounding ethical dilemmas in his career, causing him inner turmoil. This complexity is expressed in his dialogue and interactions, illustrating a man caught between ambition and integrity.

Character Wound: Feeling of complicity in unethical practices.

Character Flaws: Overly accommodating, hesitant to confront powerful figures like Miles.

Suggestions

Incorporate scenes that reveal Lionel's internal struggles more vividly.
Show moments of him challenging Miles to amplify the stakes.

Follow-up Questions

What triggers Lionel's moments of doubt regarding his work with Miles?
How do his relationships with other characters influence his internal conflict?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 5

Lionel's journey illustrates a balance between loyalty to his friend and facing the moral implications of their work. However, while he acknowledges the risks, he often maintains a passive stance, opting for loyalty over active confrontation. His arc culminates in a realization of the destructive path they are on, yet he hesitates to take decisive action.

Transformation Triggers: Lionel’s realization of the consequences of Klear and Duke's death.

Suggestions

Clearer moments of decision-making for Lionel that push him toward action.
Increased tension in his relationships to force him into a more active role.

Follow-up Questions

At what point does Lionel realize he must choose between loyalty and ethics?
What external events push him to confront the consequences of his decisions?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 7

Lionel’s dialogue often showcases his analytical mindset, with a tendency to frame situations in scientific terms. This precision of language reflects his background as a scientist and contrasts with the bombastic and reckless language of Miles. As conflicts arise, his voice may waver, showcasing his emotional stakes.

Unique Voice: Academic and measured, often grappling with the implications of decisions.

Suggestions

Add more emotive language to his dialogue during high-tension moments.
Consider how his scientific speak might be simplified under stress.

Follow-up Questions

How can Lionel's voice evolve to reflect increased urgency as the plot progresses?
What specific phrases or terms does Lionel use that highlight his scientific viewpoint?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 6

Throughout the screenplay, Lionel’s behavior often showcases a juxtaposition between his scientific ambitions and the moral dilemmas posed by his partnership with Miles. His decisions, often reactive and influenced by those around him, spotlight the tensions present in the high-stakes environment of innovation. Over time, this tension leads to core decisions that reflect his deepening conflict.

Motivations: Desire to succeed in his career while maintaining ethical integrity.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires recognition and success; needs to act ethically despite pressure.

Suggestions

Highlight pivotal moments where Lionel must choose between personal success and ethical conduct.
Show interactions that pressure Lionel to abandon his ethics in favor of ambition.

Follow-up Questions

What motivates Lionel to compromise his values at crucial moments?
How do his choices directly affect the actions and outcomes of the other characters?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 6

Lionel’s relationships with other characters significantly influence his decisions. His bond with Miles reflects a troubled loyalty and a sense of obligation that conflicts with his ethical beliefs. He acts as a barometer for other characters, offering both support and critical reflection, while his interactions with Claire and Birdie suggest a complex web of professional and personal ties.

Suggestions

Incorporate more dialogue that reveals Lionel's feelings about other characters.
Suggest deeper interactions with Claire that explore their professional rivalry.

Follow-up Questions

How do Lionel's relationships with the other disruptors evolve throughout the story?
What revelations about these relationships could deepen Lionel's character?

Scene Impact

Score: 7

Lionel's presence often serves as a grounding force within chaotic scenes, contrasting the more impulsive actions of others. He brings a scientific lens to discussions about Klear, reinforcing the stakes at hand. By voicing concerns, he helps present the moral implications of their actions, contributing to the suspense and tension in group dynamics.

Suggestions

Elevate Lionel’s stakes in critical scenes to enhance his impact.
Pair him with other characters during moments of tension to amplify conflict.

Follow-up Questions

In what pivotal moments could Lionel turn the tide of tension due to his knowledge?
How can Lionel's perspective influence others during crucial narrative shifts?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 6

Lionel fulfills the role of a grounding figure within the narrative. As Miles's foil, he questions the reckless ambition that drives the story forward, often revealing the underlying moral complexity of their actions. His presence prompts reflections upon the ethics of innovation and the consequences of blind ambition, affecting how audiences interpret the unfolding drama.

Symbolic Role: Represents the ethical implications of science and innovation.

Suggestions

Enhance Lionel's role by introducing more direct conflict with Miles.
Embed moments that amplify Lionel's ethical stance against the backdrop of Miles's ambitions.

Follow-up Questions

How does Lionel's role as a grounding force affect the narrative parts of the screenplay?
What moments mark the sharpest contrast between Lionel and Miles?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Lionel's personal themes of ambition versus morality resonate deeply within the larger narrative arc. His struggle with loyalty to Miles while facing the consequences of their actions highlights the risks associated with unchecked innovation. This integration of themes serves as both a reflection of his internal conflict and a lens through which the broader themes of the screenplay—ambition, deception, and ethical dilemmas—are explored.

Suggestions

Clarify Lionel’s internal battles through dialogue that reflects his themes.
Anchor him in thematic scenes to reinforce the screenplay’s message.

Follow-up Questions

How can Lionel's experiences illustrate the potential dangers of innovation?
In what ways do Lionel's interactions with others amplify the screenplay's underlying themes?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 7

Lionel resonates emotionally with audiences, particularly through his struggles with loyalty and ethics. His complex position elicits both empathy and tension, driving the narrative forward through critical decisions tied to broader ethical implications. Viewers may find themselves drawn to his sincerity and conflicted nature, even amidst chaotic circumstances.

Emotional Impact: Lionel evokes sympathy and tension.

Suggestions

Flesh out Lionel's backstory to enhance audience connection.
Introduce flashbacks or memories to evoke emotional depth in pivotal moments.

Follow-up Questions

What specific scenes create the strongest emotional connection between Lionel and the audience?
How can Lionel's emotional journey enhance narrative engagement with viewers?

Personality Types

MBTI: infp

Lionel’s deep sense of empathy and moral conscience, along with an idealist outlook, reflects an INFP personality type.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: intj (20%)

Suggestions

Highlight Lionel's idealism in challenging situations.
Focus on his internal struggles to strengthen the INFP attributes.

Follow-up Questions

What internal conflicts most clearly illustrate impactful INFP traits?
How can Lionel’s idealism and empathy be better showcased through his actions or dialogue?

Enneagram: type 1

He demonstrates a strong drive for ethics and integrity, characteristic of Enneagram Type 1 with a desire to improve the world.

Confidence: 70%

Possible Alternative Type: type 6 (30%)

Suggestions

Incorporate more ethical dilemmas for testing Type 1 principles.
Depict situations tightening Lionel’s moral stance for better audience engagement.

Follow-up Questions

What events in the screenplay challenge or affirm Lionel's core beliefs?
How can we explore Lionel’s moral compass through the lens of the Enneagram?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (11)

Lionel's excitement during the puzzle-solving montage captures his enthusiasm for science and intellect.

Why: This showcases his skills and provides a positive reflection of his character.

Weakest Scene (5)

Lionel appears passive and overwhelmed during critical discussions about Klear.

Why: His hesitance contrasts with other characters' assertive behaviors, making him seem less impactful.

Suggestions:

Revise dialogue to amplify Lionel’s concerns about Klear.
Create interactions that place Lionel in a more assertive light.

Theme

Theme Details

Theme Explanation

Selfishness (30%)

- Miles's relentless pursuit of wealth and success, regardless of the cost to others - The guests' willingness to betray each other for their own gain - Andi's ambition and self-absorption, which led to her downfall

Selfishness is a recurring theme throughout the screenplay. The characters are motivated by their own desires and ambitions, and they are willing to hurt others to get what they want.

Strengthening Selfishness:

Suggestion Type	How to Strengthen the Theme
Dialogue - Scene 1	When Miles Bron delivers the wooden box to Lionel Toussaint, have him emphasize its significance and rarity. This will establish the box as a key object associated with Selfishness and set the tone for the narrative.
Action - Scene 5	As the gang works together to solve the puzzles, occasionally highlight moments where they unintentionally prioritize their own interests over the common goal. This will subtly reinforce the theme of Selfishness.
Character Arc - Scene 10	Develop Duke Cody's character to gradually reveal his underlying Selfishness. Initially present him as a boisterous and entertaining character, but subtly hint at his manipulative and self-serving nature.
Visual - Scene 13	In the compound tour, incorporate visual elements that symbolize Selfishness, such as opulent decor or excessive displays of wealth. This will create a visually impactful representation of the theme.
Story Arc - Scene 56	In Helen's confrontation with Miles, have her articulate a powerful monologue that exposes his Selfishness and its consequences. This will serve as a cathartic moment for Helen and reinforce the film's central message.

Wealth and Inequality (25%)

- Miles Bron's immense wealth and power, which he uses to control and manipulate others - The stark contrast between the lavish lifestyles of the guests and the poverty of the island's inhabitants - The way that money can corrupt and destroy relationships

The screenplay also explores the theme of wealth and inequality. The characters' wealth and privilege give them a sense of entitlement and superiority, and it allows them to get away with crimes that would land ordinary people in jail.

Power of Memory (20%)

- Blanc's ability to piece together the events of the night of Andi's murder based on his memories - Helen's reliance on her sister's journals to understand her past - The way that memories can be distorted and manipulated

The screenplay also explores the theme of the power of memory. The characters' memories are unreliable and incomplete, and they can be used to deceive and manipulate others.

Nature of Truth (15%)

- Blanc's insistence on finding the truth, even if it is inconvenient or dangerous - The way that the truth can be hidden or distorted - The importance of speaking truth to power

The screenplay also explores the nature of truth. The characters are constantly trying to hide or distort the truth, but Blanc is determined to find it.

Family (10%)

- Helen's love for her sister and her desire to avenge her death - Miles's strained relationship with his family - The way that family relationships can be both a source of strength and a source of pain

The screenplay also explores the theme of family. The characters' relationships with their families are complex and often troubled.

Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site	Description
Studio Binder	Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly	Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August	Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics	Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme	Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script	Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts

Robert McKee: "The audience doesn’t go to the movies to see plot; they go to feel emotion, to be moved."

Scene by Scene Emotions

Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal Goals	The protagonist's internal goal is to uncover the truth behind the mysterious events and navigate complex social dynamics.
External Goals	The protagonist's external goal is to maintain composure and control while dealing with unexpected situations.
Philosophical Conflict	The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around truth and deception, as characters are forced to confront their beliefs about honesty and the consequences of their actions.

Character Development Contribution: The protagonist's goals and conflict challenge their beliefs and values, leading to personal growth and self-discovery.

Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflict drive the narrative forward, creating tension and intrigue as the protagonist navigates through a web of lies and deceit.

Thematic Depth Contribution: The exploration of truth and deception adds layers of complexity to the screenplay, highlighting the consequences of hiding the truth and the importance of honesty in relationships.

Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site	Description
Creative Screenwriting	How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder	What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict	How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great	By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals	By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?

What's going on here? - Scenes are rated on many critreia. The goal isn't to try to maximize every number; \ It's to make you aware of what's happening in your scenes. You might have very good reasons to have character development but not advance the story, or have a scene without conflict. Obviously if your dialogue is really bad, you should probably look into that.

Abbreviate Headers

Story Content

Character Development

Scene Elements

Audience Engagement

Technical Aspects

			Story Content			Character Development				Scene Elements					Audience Engagement				Technical Aspects
Click for Full Analysis	Tone	Overall	Concept	Plot	Originality	Characters	Character Changes	Internal Goal	External Goal	Conflict	Opposition	High stakes	Story forward	Twist	Emotional Impact	Dialogue	Engagement	Pacing	Formatting	Structure
1 - The Mysterious Box	Witty, Sarcastic, Excited	8	8	7	9	9	4	8	7	6	7	7	8	7	5	8	9	9	8	8
2 - The Pressure Builds	Exasperation, Intrigue, Skepticism	8	9	8	9	7	7	8	7	8	8	9	8	8	7	9	9	9	8	8
3 - The Enigmatic Wooden Box	Sarcastic, Light-hearted, Conversational	8	7	7	9	8	4	8	7	6	7	5	7	7	5	9	9	8	8	8
4 - Duke Cody's Livestream	Satirical, Sarcastic, Controversial	8	8	7	9	8	6	8	7	7	7	6	8	8	6	9	9	8	8	8
5 - The Enigmatic Delivery	Intriguing, Suspenseful, Mysterious, Engaging	8	8	8	9	7	5	9	8	6	7	6	8	8	6	7	9	9	8	8
6 - The Fugue Puzzle	Intriguing, Suspenseful, Mysterious, Exciting	8	9	7	9	8	5	8	7.5	6	8	6	8	8	6	8	9	8.5	8	8
7 - Invitation to a Murder Mystery Weekend	Excitement, Suspense, Intrigue, Awe, Shock	9	9	8	9	7	6	8	9	7	8	9	8	8	7	7	9	9	9	9
8 - Blanc's Online Gaming Interlude	Confusion, Annoyance, Curiosity, Humor	8	8	7	9	9	5	8	7	6	7	5	7	7	6	8	9	8	8	8
9 - Arrival at the Jetty	Awkward, Exciting, Humorous	8	8	7	9	9	5	8	7.5	6	8	6	8	9	6	8	9	8.5	8	8
10 - Arrival and Introduction	Suspenseful, Humorous, Mysterious	8	8	8	9	7	5	8	7	6	7	7	8	8	6	7	9	8	8	8
11 - A Mysterious Arrival	Suspenseful, Intriguing, Mysterious, Tense	8	9	8	9	7	6	8	7	8	7	8	9	8	7	7	9	8	8	8
12 - Welcome to Peetchachite	Mysterious, Suspenseful, Intriguing, Light-hearted	8	8	8	8	7	5	8	7	6	7	7	8	7	6	7	9	8	8	8
13 - The Glass Onion Estate	Mysterious, Suspenseful, Intriguing, Quirky	8	8	7	9	9	5	8	7	6	7	6	7	7	6	8	9	8	8	8
14 - Confrontation in the Glass Onion	Mysterious, Intriguing, Suspenseful, Confused, Curious	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	9	7	8	7	8	9	6	8	9	8	8	8
15 - The Puzzle Box Mystery	Mysterious, Light-hearted, Suspenseful, Playful	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	7	7	8	8	7	6	7	9	8	8	8
16 - Poolside Pandemonium	Mysterious, Light-hearted, Tense	8	9	8	9	7	6	8	7.5	8	8	9	8	9	7	7	9	8.5	8	8
17 - Fax Machine Surprise	Mysterious, Light-hearted, Conversational	8	8	7	9	9	5	8	7	6	7	5	8	7	6	8	9	8	8	8
18 - Disruption and Common Ground	Intense, Confrontational, Revealing, Dramatic	8	8	7	9	8	7	8	7.5	8	8	7	8	8	7	9	9	8.5	8	8
19 - Accusations and Treachery	Tense, Dramatic, Confrontational, Intense, Emotional	8	8	8	8	9	7	8	7	9	8	8	8	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
20 - In the Shadow of the Glass Onion	Foreboding, Tense, Mysterious, Sarcastic, Light-hearted	8	8	7	9	8	6	8	7.5	8	8	7	8	8	6	7	9	8.5	8	8
21 - The Unveiling of the Mona Lisa	Intriguing, Suspenseful, Mysterious, Dramatic	8	8	7	9	8	6	8	7	7	7	7	8	8	7	7	9	8	8	8
22 - KLEAR Unveiling	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Confrontational	8	9	8	9	7	6	8	9	9	8	8	8	8	7	9	9	9	9	9
23 - The Murder Mystery Game	Suspenseful, Mysterious, Tense, Dramatic, Intriguing	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7.5	8	8	8	9	8	6	9	9	8	8	8
24 - The Crossbow Revelation	Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intriguing, Tense	9	9	8	9	8	7	8	9	9	7	9	8	8	7	7	9	8	8	8
25 - The Confrontation	Suspenseful, Intense, Confrontational, Revealing	9	9	9	9	9	8	8	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	9	9	9	9	9
26 - Miles' Nostalgic Lament	Tense, Confrontational, Reflective, Sarcastic	8	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	7	8	9	7	8	9	9	8	8	8
27 - Confrontation at the Party	Tense, Confrontational, Emotional, Defiant	9	8	9	8.5	9	8	8	7.5	9	8	9	9	8	9	9	9	8.5	8	8
28 - Weekend Celebration	Suspenseful, Light-hearted, Dramatic, Exciting	8	8	8	8	7	7	8	7	8	7	8	9	7	7	9	9	9	8	8
29 - Sudden Death on a Greek Island	Suspenseful, Shocking, Intense, Dramatic	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	8
30 - Accusations and Delays	Suspenseful, Tense, Dramatic, Mysterious	9	8	9	8	8	7	8	7.5	9	8	9	9	9	8	7	9	8	8	8
31 - Panic and Darkness	Suspenseful, Panic-stricken, Mysterious, Dark	9	9	8	9	7	6	8	7	9	8	9	8	8	8	6	9	8	8	8
32 - Chaos in the Dark	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Mysterious	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
33 - Deadly Tableau	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Shocking	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	7	9	7	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
34 - The Unmasked Twin	Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Intriguing	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	7	7	7	7	8	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
35 - Helen's Memories and Suspicions	Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Intriguing, Dramatic	9	9	9	9	8	7	9	8	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
36 - The Invitation	Suspenseful, Intense, Intriguing, Mysterious	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7.5	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	9	8.5	8	8
37 - Helen Agrees to Impersonate Andi	Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Serious	9	9	9	9	8	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
38 - Planning the Investigation	Suspenseful, Intense, Intriguing, Dramatic	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7	9	7	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
39 - Clash of Aspirations and Ethics	Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Dramatic	9	9	9	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
40 - Miles' Lies and Perjury Revealed	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Intriguing	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7.5	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
41 - Snooping on the Island	Suspenseful, Intense, Mysterious, Anxious	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
42 - Whispers and Gunshots at the Estate Party	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Intriguing	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7.5	9	8	8	9	8	7	7	9	8.5	8	8
43 - Secrets and Suspicions	Suspenseful, Intriguing, Tense, Mysterious	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	9	7	9	8	8	7	7	9	8	8	8
44 - Confrontation by the Pool	Suspenseful, Intense, Confrontational, Dramatic	9	8	9	8	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	8
45 - Unanswered Messages	Suspenseful, Intense, Confrontational, Mysterious	8	8	7	8	9	7	8	7	8	8	8	8	8	7	8	9	8	8	8
46 - Unraveling the Truth in the Empty Gym	Suspenseful, Intense, Serious	9	8	9	9	8	6	8	7	8	7	8	9	8	7	7	9	8	8	8
47 - A Secret Revealed	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Intriguing	9	9	8	9	9	7	8	7	9	7	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
48 - Sweatshop Scandal	Suspenseful, Intense, Intriguing, Serious	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7	8	7	8	9	8	7	9	9	8	8	8
49 - Helen's Desperate Search	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Emotional	9	8	9	8	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	9	7	9	9	9	9
50 - The Ransacked Room	Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Terrifying	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	7.5	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	9	8.5	8	8
51 - Gunshot and Deception	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Mysterious	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7.5	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	9	8.5	8	8
52 - Helen's Discovery	Intriguing, Suspenseful, Revealing, Intense	9	9	8	9	7	6	8	7.5	7	8	8	9	9	8	8	9	8.5	8	8
53 - Accusations in the Lounge	Suspenseful, Intense, Revealing, Confrontational	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	9	9	9
54 - Miles' Deception Revealed	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Intriguing	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7.5	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
55 - Miles's Manipulation and Deception Revealed	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Revealing	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
56 - Miles Exposes Helen's Attempted Murder	Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense, Intriguing	9	9	8	9	8	7	8	7	9	7	8	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	8
57 - Miles' Confession	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Shocking	9	9	9	8	8	7	8	7.5	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	9	8.5	8	8
58 - Confrontation in the Aftermath	Tense, Confrontational, Emotional, Suspenseful	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	9	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
59 - Destructive Rage	Intense, Emotional, Confrontational, Dramatic	9	9	9	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	9	9	9	8	9	8	8	8
60 - Chaos and Confrontation	Intense, Dramatic, Confrontational, Emotional	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	9	9	9
61 - The Accusations	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Emotional	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	7	9	7	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8

Summary of Scene Level Analysis

Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.

Scene Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Engaging characters
Intriguing plot twists
Complex character dynamics
High stakes and tension

Scene Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Lack of significant character development
Some dialogue may be overly expository
Complexity may be overwhelming for some viewers
Potential confusion with multiple character motivations and relationships

Suggestions

Focus on deepening emotional connections between characters to add depth
Work on developing character arcs and motivations to create more dynamic characters
Streamline dialogue to make it more natural and less expository
Simplify complex plot elements for better audience comprehension
Clarify character relationships and motivations to avoid confusion

World Building

Physical environment: The world depicted in the screenplay is a mix of modern suburban settings, luxurious estates, and a private island. The environments are often high-tech, with elements such as AI dogs, NFTs, and advanced security systems. The physical environment contributes to the atmosphere of intrigue and mystery by creating a sense of isolation and exclusivity. It also highlights the contrast between the characters' wealth and privilege and the secrets and danger that lie beneath the surface.
Culture: The culture depicted in the screenplay is one of disruption and innovation, with characters who are willing to break rules and challenge societal norms. There is a strong emphasis on technology and its potential to both create and destroy. The cultural elements contribute to the narrative by creating a sense of tension and suspense, as the characters navigate a world where anything is possible.
Society: The society depicted in the screenplay is one of wealth and privilege, where characters have access to the latest technology and luxuries. However, there is also a sense of unease and suspicion, as the characters are aware of the dangers that lurk beneath the surface. The societal elements contribute to the narrative by creating a sense of claustrophobia and paranoia, as the characters struggle to trust each other and find out who is truly responsible for the murder.
Technology: The technology depicted in the screenplay is both advanced and mysterious. Characters use AI dogs, NFTs, and advanced security systems to protect themselves and their secrets. However, technology can also be used for evil, as the characters discover when they are trapped on an island with a killer. The technological elements contribute to the narrative by creating a sense of suspense and uncertainty, as the characters are never quite sure what is going to happen next.
Characters influence: The world elements shape the characters' experiences and actions in a number of ways. The physical environment isolates the characters and creates a sense of claustrophobia, which contributes to the tension and suspense of the story. The culture of disruption and innovation encourages the characters to take risks and challenge the status quo, which leads to conflict and danger. The society of wealth and privilege gives the characters access to the latest technology and luxuries, but it also creates a sense of unease and suspicion, as the characters are aware of the dangers that lurk beneath the surface.
Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the narrative of the screenplay in a number of ways. The physical environment provides a backdrop for the mystery and intrigue, and the culture of disruption and innovation creates a sense of tension and suspense. The society of wealth and privilege provides a context for the characters' conflicts, and the technology adds an element of mystery and danger. Overall, the world elements work together to create a rich and immersive story that keeps the reader guessing until the very end.
Thematic depth contribution: The world elements contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay in a number of ways. The physical environment reflects the characters' inner turmoil and isolation, and the culture of disruption and innovation highlights the dangers of unchecked ambition. The society of wealth and privilege explores the themes of greed and corruption, and the technology raises questions about the role of technology in our lives. Overall, the world elements work together to create a thought-provoking and insightful story that resonates long after the credits have rolled.

Voice Analysis
Summary:	The writer's voice is characterized by sharp dialogue, witty banter, and a blend of humor and drama. The narrative is fast-paced and engaging, with a focus on complex character dynamics and mysterious elements.
Voice Contribution	The writer's voice adds depth and complexity to the screenplay, highlighting the intricate relationships between the characters and the unfolding mystery. The sharp dialogue and witty banter create a sense of intrigue and suspense, keeping the audience engaged throughout the story.
Best Representation Scene	14 - Confrontation in the Glass Onion
Best Scene Explanation	This scene is the best representation because it encapsulates the writer's unique voice through its blend of mystery, dramatic tension, and cryptic dialogue, setting the stage for the unfolding events in the screenplay.

Style and Similarities

The screenplay exhibits a diverse range of writing styles, showcasing the influence of multiple authors. However, a common thread running through the scenes is the emphasis on sharp dialogue, compelling character dynamics, and the exploration of complex themes.

Style Similarities:

Writer	Explanation
Aaron Sorkin	Sorkin's signature style is evident in several scenes, characterized by witty and thought-provoking dialogue, intricate character interactions, and a focus on political and ethical themes.
David Mamet	Mamet's influence can be seen in scenes that feature intense and confrontational dialogue, exploring power dynamics and moral ambiguity through his signature tight and taut writing style.
Gillian Flynn	Flynn's writing style is apparent in scenes that delve into dark and suspenseful themes, creating intricate plots with complex characters and unexpected twists.
Christopher Nolan	Nolan's influence can be observed in scenes that employ non-linear storytelling, explore philosophical and existential concepts, and challenge audience expectations through intricate plot structures and complex character arcs.
Quentin Tarantino	Tarantino's unique voice is discernible in scenes that feature stylized violence, memorable characters, and non-linear narratives, often infused with humor and pop culture references.

Other Similarities: In addition to these dominant screenwriters, influences from other authors can also be detected in various scenes, contributing to the overall rich and diverse writing style of the screenplay.

Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern	Explanation
Tense and Intense Scenes Also Have High Emotional Impact
Suspenseful Scenes Drive the Story Forward and Move the Plot
Character Changes Often Occur in Tense and Dramatic Scenes
The Use of Humor Often Coincides with Light-hearted Tones
Scenes with High Conflict Often Move the Story Forward
Dialogue Heavily Influences Emotional Impact
High Stakes Scenes Often Have Intense and Dramatic Tones
Mysteries and Intrigue Often Drive Suspenseful Scenes
High-Scoring Scenes Often Have a Strong Overall Grade
Dramatic Scenes Often Feature Intense Confrontations
Shocking and Exciting Scenes Often Have High Emotional Impact

Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The analyzed scenes showcase the writer's skill in crafting engaging and compelling narratives, effectively building tension, developing complex characters, and creating unique storytelling styles. The writer exhibits a strong command of dialogue, pacing, and structure, successfully immersing the reader in the story and leaving a lasting impression. However, there are areas where further improvement and refinement can enhance the overall effectiveness and impact of the screenplay: pacing and dialogue.

Key Improvement Areas

Dialogue

Effective dialogue not only advances the plot but also reveals character motivations, relationships, and conflicts. Some scenes would benefit from more natural, authentic, and engaging dialogue that captures the nuances and depth of the characters.

Pacing

Pacing is crucial in maintaining the reader's engagement and creating a smooth flow of events. The screenplay would benefit from a more balanced distribution of action, exposition, and dialogue to avoid pacing issues and ensure a cohesive narrative.

Character Development

Well-developed characters drive the story and make it relatable to the audience. The writer has created a solid foundation for the characters, but further exploration of their motivations, backstories, and emotional journeys would add depth and complexity to their personas.

Suggestions

Type	Suggestion	Rationale
Book	Read 'Dialogue: The Art of Verbal Action for Page, Stage, and Screen' by Robert McKee	McKee's book delves deep into the art of writing effective dialogue, providing valuable insights and techniques for creating authentic and engaging conversations that drive the story forward.
Video	Watch interviews and behind-the-scenes footage of screenwriters discussing their writing process	Listening to experienced screenwriters talk about their craft can offer valuable insights into their thought processes, techniques, and approaches to storytelling.
Exercise	Practice writing dialogue-heavy scenes with a focus on revealing character relationships and conflictsPractice In SceneProv	Regularly practicing writing dialogue in different contexts and scenarios can help writers develop their skills in crafting natural and authentic conversations that add depth to the characters.
Screenplay	Read screenplays known for their strong character development, such as 'Schindler's List' by Steven Zaillian	Studying screenplays with well-developed and memorable characters can provide valuable lessons on creating relatable and emotionally resonant characters that drive the narrative.
Exercise	Write character profiles and backstories that explore the motivations, fears, and desires of the charactersPractice In SceneProv	Creating detailed character profiles and backstories helps writers gain a deeper understanding of their characters' inner workings, which can lead to more authentic and nuanced character development.

Additional Notes: The writer has a solid foundation in storytelling and a clear voice. With continued practice, exploration, and attention to the identified areas of improvement, they have the potential to create even more captivating and memorable screenplays.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope	Trope Details	Trope Explanation
Mysterious Invitation	The characters receive mysterious invitations that lead them to a secluded location where a murder mystery unfolds.	The mysterious invitation trope is a common plot device used to bring characters together in a story. An example of this trope can be seen in the movie 'Knives Out' where the characters are invited to a mansion for a family gathering, only to discover a murder has taken place.
Puzzle Box	The characters receive a series of puzzle boxes that they must solve to uncover clues and advance in the story.	The puzzle box trope is often used to add a sense of mystery and challenge to a story. An example of this trope can be seen in the movie 'The Da Vinci Code' where the characters must solve a series of puzzles to uncover a hidden secret.
Murder Mystery	A murder occurs, and the characters must work together to solve the mystery and identify the killer.	The murder mystery trope is a classic plot device used in many stories to create suspense and intrigue. An example of this trope can be seen in the TV show 'Sherlock' where the main characters solve complex murder cases.
Isolated Location	The story takes place in a secluded or isolated location where the characters are cut off from the outside world.	The isolated location trope is often used to create a sense of claustrophobia and tension in a story. An example of this trope can be seen in the movie 'The Shining' where the characters are trapped in a remote hotel during a snowstorm.
Red Herring	False clues or distractions are introduced to mislead the characters and audience in solving the mystery.	The red herring trope is used to add complexity to a mystery by leading characters and viewers down the wrong path. An example of this trope can be seen in the TV show 'Broadchurch' where multiple red herrings are introduced to keep the true killer's identity a mystery.
Whodunit	The story revolves around the central question of 'who committed the murder?' with multiple suspects and motives.	The whodunit trope is a classic mystery storytelling device where the focus is on solving the identity of the killer. An example of this trope can be seen in the movie 'Murder on the Orient Express' where a detective must unravel the mystery of a murder on a train.
Unreliable Narrator	A character or characters provide information to the audience that is later revealed to be false or misleading.	The unreliable narrator trope is used to create suspense and uncertainty in a story by casting doubt on the credibility of the narrator. An example of this trope can be seen in the TV show 'Mr. Robot' where the main character's narration is revealed to be unreliable due to his mental health issues.
Hidden Agenda	Characters have secret motives or agendas that are gradually revealed throughout the story.	The hidden agenda trope is used to add layers of complexity to characters and their relationships by introducing hidden motives that drive their actions. An example of this trope can be seen in the TV show 'Breaking Bad' where the main character's hidden agenda leads him down a dark path.
Twist Ending	The story concludes with a surprising plot twist that changes the audience's understanding of the events.	The twist ending trope is used to subvert audience expectations and provide a shocking conclusion to the story. An example of this trope can be seen in the movie 'The Sixth Sense' where a major twist changes the audience's perception of the entire film.
Character Betrayal	One or more characters betray the trust of others by revealing secrets, switching allegiances, or committing acts of deception.	The character betrayal trope is used to create conflict and tension between characters by introducing elements of mistrust and betrayal. An example of this trope can be seen in the TV show 'Game of Thrones' where characters frequently betray each other for personal gain.

Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number	Line
23	Miles: Because tonight, in this very room, a murder will be committed. My murder.
30	Miles: I will pay you one billion dollars to find who tried to kill me.
57	Helen: Recognize this? Andi's handwriting. Gotcha, you son of a bitch.
60	Helen: Your fuel of the future just barbecued the world's most famous painting, dumbass. Congratulations on the public launch of Klear and the end of Miles Bron.
61	Miles: Oh you shit heads.

Some Loglines to consider:

A group of strangers solve puzzles on a mysterious island but tensions rise when murder becomes reality.
After a murder game goes wrong, a detective and a witness investigate the interrelated pasts of each island guest.
When a puzzle game goes awry, a detective investigates a group of suspects on a private island and must determine who among them is the killer.
A detective and his companion are called upon to investigate a murder game gone wrong, but with high tensions and no alibis, they must determine who the true culprit is.
A murder mystery on a private island leads to dark secrets and revenge, as one woman takes justice into her own hands.

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GLASS ONION

Adapted Screenplay

Written by Rian Johnson
1 A FRONT DOOR, PAINTED BLACK 1

A hand knocks. Muffled noise inside, then it opens revealing
CLAIRE DEBELLA, 30s. Nicely made up in a beige blouse but
wears sweat pants and Uggs. She's on the phone. The man who
knocked is a COURIER delivering a cardboard box about the
size of four large stacked pizza boxes.

CLAIRE
-subject to their approval hold on
(to courier)
Hey - oh shit, sorry - let me -

She realizes she isn't wearing a mask, puts her arm
awkwardly over her mouth. Widen to reveal:

2 EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY 2

The courier's van with CONNECTICUT plates at the curb.
Claire signs for the package and takes it.

ALPHA COURIER
Sign here.

CLAIRE
Thank you.

A title card up over this:

MAY 13, 2020

3 INT. DEBELLA HOME 3

Claire awkwardly puts the large box on the kitchen island,
where her husband DEVON (30s, shaggy haired in a vintage
GREENPEACE t-shirt) wrangles three kids and sorts paperwork.

DEVON
What's this?

CLAIRE
I don't know I've got the CNN thing
in like, now.

As she rushes into the living room where a mini studio is
set up in front of a bookshelf, "DEBELLA 2020" election
signs everywhere.

She's a blaze of beige energy, sharp and incredibly wry.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
2.
3 CONTINUED: 3

CLAIRE (cont'd)
(to Assistant)
Amy! Come on look alive, hold that
please.

Claire hands her a phone and coffee.

ASSISTANT
On in 10, she's leading you in now.

In the kitchen, Devon has removed the cardboard box,
revealing a large smooth WOODEN BOX, with a small note -
"LOVE, MILES!" Devon gets very excited.

DEVON
It's from Miles!

Claire just has time to react to this before she's on live.

CNN ANCHOR (ON SCREEN)
And with me now is Connecticut
Governor Claire Debella, whose senate
campaign is picking up steam, as
she's positioned herself as a very
different kind of candidate.
Governor, thanks for joining us,
working from home like the rest of
us, I can see

CLAIRE
Yes, welcome to our office, campaign
center and kindergarten, we are
losing our minds.

4 INT. AEROSPACE FACTORY 4

A cavernous warehouse-sized space with clean floors and
massive pieces of strange equipment. It's empty and mostly
dark. An unattended TV on the wall (in an open break area
with bean bag chairs) plays to nobody at all.

CNN ANCHOR (ON TV)
Your campaign is backed by
billionaire philanthropist Miles
Bron, founder of the ubiquitous tech
giant Alpha, which now has dozens of
companies from Alpha Cosmos to Alpha
Car, Alpha Shop, Alpha News,

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
3.
4 CONTINUED: 4

A WORKER in protective gear and face shield rolls a cart
through the space, past the tv. On the cart is a WOOD BOX,
identical to the one Claire received. A huge sign in the
background if we notice it: "ALPHA COSMOS"

5 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM 5

LIONEL TOUSSAINT (30s) sits alone at a table facing a wall
of various SCIENTISTS on zoom screens. Head in his hands.

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Witty, Sarcastic, Excited

Summary During a live TV interview, Claire Debella receives a wooden box from Miles Bron. The box is identical to ones seen in an empty Alpha Cosmos factory and in a conference room where Lionel Toussaint sits alone.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Well-defined characters
Intriguing plot setup

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Lack of significant character development

General Critique

The scene starts with a lot of action and movement, which can be overwhelming for the audience to follow.
There is a lot of information being introduced quickly, such as Claire receiving a package, Devon's excitement about it being from Miles, and Claire's live TV interview.
The transition between different locations and characters is abrupt and may confuse the audience.
The dialogue feels a bit rushed and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters and their motivations.
The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, making it feel disjointed and lacking in tension.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider slowing down the pace of the scene to allow for more character development and emotional depth.
Introduce the central conflict or main plot point earlier in the scene to give the audience a clear direction to follow.
Focus on building tension and suspense by revealing information gradually and creating a sense of mystery.
Simplify the scene by focusing on one key event or interaction to make it more engaging and impactful.
Consider adding more visual cues or descriptive details to help the audience visualize the setting and characters more vividly.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

LIONEL
I know. I know I know I know but what
can I do?

Every scientist says some exasperated variation of:

SCIENTISTS (ON SCREENS)
You can tell him NO.

SCIENTIST ONE
Lionel you're a scientist not a
publicist, you can't keep making
excuses for Miles Bron's every insane
whim!

LIONEL
But genius always looks like insanity
at first, though, right? Isn't that
how he became Miles Bron? I mean you
guys have no idea - the man faxes me
in the middle of the night,
constantly, he loves faxes, he sends
his ideas and I'm supposed to - you
tell me - genius or insanity -

Lionel pulls a handful of fax pages from a pile on the table

LIONEL (cont'd)
"Uber for biospheres" - no idea but
maybe right? - "AI in Dogs =
discourse" - I, all night long they
just keep - here - but then -

He holds up another that just says "CHILD = NFT?"

LIONEL (cont'd)
Remember CHILD equals NFT - We all
laughed, but then the "Krypto Kidz"
app paid for this building.

The door opens, and the worker pushes the cart in.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
4.
5 CONTINUED: 5

WORKER
Delivery. I wiped it down.

Lionel goes over to the cart, still talking, pulls it in.

LIONEL
How can you argue with that?

SCIENTIST TWO
We know, never bet against Bron, we
know it but he's asking us to put a
volatile substance on a manned flight

LIONEL
He won't listen, he just comes back
with "make it work" - and what if it
works?

A stentorian scientist breaks through:

SCIENTIST THREE
This is science, not a religion.
Remember that Lionel. Because if your
name is on this and it fails, it will
sink you forever.

Lionel lifts the card on the wooden box. "LOVE, MILES!"

6 EXT. THE DAKOTA - MANHATTAN - DAY 6

The beautiful apartment building, on a clear Manhattan day.

7 INT. APARTMENT 7

Claire's interview on a television.

CLAIRE (ON TV)
I'm hard line on climate change, if
that scares you go stick your head
back in the sand. My constituents
trust I'm gonna fight the machine to
keep their water clean and land
green. Oh, that's good, we gotta get
t-shirts with that. Remind me.

We pull back from the television through a room filled with
a DIZZYING array of INTERESTING PEOPLE - models, musicians,
authors, designers, circus performers, all reclining on
couches or grouped on the floor, smoking and doing drum
circles and partying like it isn't 2pm on a weekday during a
pandemic.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
5.
7 CONTINUED: 7

Finally we land on ex-model, magazine editor and fashion
designer BIRDIE JAY (40s.) A few men are, at any given
moment, always paying attention to her, and she looks both
fabulous and sick of life.

BIRDIE
I'm so bored. Peg! Where's Peg?
Peggggggg!

Genres: Drama, Sci-Fi
Tone: Exasperation, Intrigue, Skepticism

Summary Lionel Toussaint faces pressure from scientists to confront Miles Bron's dangerous demands. Bron's erratic behavior and demands test Lionel's resolve, leaving him torn between standing up for his beliefs and jeopardizing his career. Amidst the tension, a mysterious delivery from Bron adds an air of uncertainty and heightens the stakes.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Complex characters
Intriguing thematic exploration

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly expository
Limited emotional depth in certain moments

General Critique

The scene starts with a lot of exposition and dialogue that may be overwhelming for the audience.
There is a lack of visual elements and action in the scene, making it feel static and dialogue-heavy.
The dialogue feels a bit forced and unnatural, especially the back-and-forth between Lionel and the scientists.
The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, which is important for a scene involving pressure and conflict.
The transition to the next scene at Claire's apartment feels abrupt and disconnected from the previous scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider breaking up the dialogue with more visual elements and action to keep the scene engaging.
Focus on creating a sense of tension and urgency in the scene to heighten the conflict between Lionel and the scientists.
Try to streamline the dialogue and make it more natural and concise to improve the flow of the scene.
Introduce more physical movement and gestures to make the scene more dynamic and visually interesting.
Work on creating a smoother transition between scenes to maintain continuity and coherence in the screenplay.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Birdie's long suffering assistant PEG (late 20s) shuffles in
the door holding a familiar CARDBOARD BOX, which she
deposits on the coffee table.

PEG
I'm here.
(spots off-screen)
Please stop fire spinning inside!

BIRDIE PEG
Pegggg I'm so bored, give me
my phone just a little just
a little phone time just a No phone.
tiny little phone time

MODEL
Why can't she have her phone?

DANCER
Because she's mean.

Birdie rolls her eyes and sarcastically does air quotes:

BIRDIE
No. It's cause she's afraaaaid I'll
tweeeeet. An ethnic slurrrr.
Agaaaaain.

PEG
You agreed, no phone for the rest of
the media cycle.

BIRDIE
I didn't even know that word referred
to Jewish people, I though it was
just a generic term for "cheap."

Peg blinks at her.

PEG
"Jewy??"

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
6.
7 CONTINUED: (2) 7

BIRDIE
Everything's so woke these days it's
out of control.

VAMPIRE IN TUXEDO
Yes.

Peg pulls away cardboard, revealing the WOOD BOX.

BIRDIE
I'm sorry I say it like I see it, no
filter, if people can't handle that
it's their problem what's this?

PEG
A guy dropped it off -

Birdie picks up the card and seeing who it's from lights up:

8 INT. DEBELLA HOME 8

Claire, back in the kitchen with Devon, answers a call on
her phone - from LIONEL. She puts him on speaker.

CLAIRE
Alright genius what is this thing?

SPLIT-SCREEN with Lionel in his conference room, inspecting
the box.

DEVON LIONEL
It's a Miles invitation It's one of Miles's
invitations

CLAIRE
Well duh but what is it? It's just
like a block of wood

DEVON
There's gotta be a way to open it
right?

LIONEL
There's no latches or even visible
seams. It's solid. The wood grain
pattern is weird though, it's
familiar...

Claire's phone buzzes with another call

CLAIRE
It's Birdie. Hold on.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
7.
8 CONTINUED: 8

Claire adds her and we now also SPLIT-SCREEN Birdie in the
party apartment.

BIRDIE
Ok how do you open this thing?

CLAIRE
Hi Birdie, Lionel's on too. Hi Peg!

BIRDIE
Peg's putting out a fire but she'll
be back.

CLAIRE
Putting out another fire? Bird what'd
you say this time, you gotta stay off
the twitter.

BIRDIE
No nothing like that, no it's fine.

Peg runs by in the background with a fire extinguisher.

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Sarcastic, Light-hearted, Conversational

Summary In Birdie's apartment, her assistant Peg brings in a mysterious cardboard box, withholding Birdie's phone. Inside the box lies a wooden one, sparking curiosity. Birdie sarcastically jokes about tweeting an offensive slur. Meanwhile, Claire, Devon, and Lionel discuss the box and an invitation from Miles. Devon speculates about its nature, while Lionel recognizes its unique wood grain. The scene ends with the trio pondering the wooden enigma.

Strengths

Witty dialogue
Intriguing plot development
Strong character interactions

Weaknesses

Lack of emotional depth
Low stakes

General Critique

The scene starts with a lot of chaos and distractions, which can make it difficult for the audience to focus on the main action and dialogue.
The dialogue between the characters, especially Birdie and Peg, feels a bit disjointed and lacks a clear direction or purpose.
The humor in the scene, particularly around the ethnic slur comment, may come across as insensitive or inappropriate to some viewers.
The interaction between the characters, such as Birdie's sarcastic remarks and Peg's responses, could be more engaging and dynamic to hold the audience's attention.
The introduction of the wooden box and the mysterious invitation from Miles Bron is intriguing, but it gets overshadowed by the chaotic and random nature of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider streamlining the opening of the scene to focus more on the main plot points and character interactions.
Refine the dialogue to make it more purposeful and engaging, ensuring that each line contributes to the overall story and character development.
Be mindful of the humor and sensitive topics to ensure that it resonates with the audience and fits within the tone of the screenplay.
Work on building up the tension and mystery surrounding the wooden box and Miles Bron's invitation to create a more compelling and suspenseful atmosphere.
Consider adding more depth to the characters' interactions and motivations to enhance the scene's impact and relevance to the overall story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BIRDIE (cont'd)
Is this a Miles thing - have you
figured it out yet? Lionel? Use your
science brain.

Lionel runs his hands over the box, perplexed.

LIONEL
Working on it. Bird should you be
having a party?

BIRDIE
They're in my pod, it's fine. Has
anyone heard from Duke?

ALL
No.

9 INT. THREE CAR GARAGE - DAY 9

A gorgeous MUSTANG parked in the background, sleek weight
lifting equipment, expensive gadgets. DUKE CODY (40s, very
fit) sits in the foreground speaking directly into the
camera. We slowly widen to reveal the frame of a YOUTUBE
video around him - we're watching him live broadcasting.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
8.
9 CONTINUED: 9

DUKE
This has gotten some attention
obviously so I want to speak to
this - no, Jimmy Kimmel, I do not
"hate boobs." Boobs - breasts - give
us many useful things. Milk. Cheese.
Breasts nourish our young, until the
age where we can hunt for them. And
let's be honest, breasts are fun.
Nothing wrong with that. Am I right
babe?

A 22 year old girl named Whiskey steps into frame, dressed
in a sporty provocative way involving camouflage.

WHISKEY
I love my boobs, they're super fun.
Oops! Sorry feminists!

She struts off screen as Duke continues.

DUKE
When we refer to the
"breastification" of America, what we
mean is a breakdown of the natural
order, evolutionary truths that go
back billions of years.

A woman's voice shouts from three rooms away:

WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Dukey!

DUKE
If you're a young man in America
you're being asked to slow down so
women can catch up. For centuries in
the western workplace has been
dominated by men, because that's what
nature made us to do.

We pull back from a computer monitor, at which point we
REVEAL that he was in front of a greenscreen with a photo
background, and is actually broadcasting from a slightly
shittier 3 car garage, with none of the polish or decor,
with a slightly shittier version of the sports car, piles of
merch with Lion logos and "APEXOSITY" slogans everywhere.

WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Dukey!

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
9.
9 CONTINUED: (2) 9

DUKE
but you can have the next best thing
with our Apex Supplements. Whiskey's
gonna break it down for you.

Duke weaves out of the garage and into the hallway of a
mcmansion, lots of cheap marble and clutter, shutting the
door behind him. His MOM walks through with a basket of
laundry, speaks with a jersey accent.

Whiskey takes over and starts pitching the supplements as
Duke walks out of frame.

MA
Dukey, I been calling you you gotta
answer me when I call.

DUKE
Ma! Will you shut it? I'm live, we've
gone over this, Whiskey and me when
we're live -

Ma SLAPS him hard enough to rattle his teeth.

MA
You tell your mother to shut up?

Genres: Drama, Comedy
Tone: Satirical, Sarcastic, Controversial

Summary Duke Cody promotes Apex Supplements while discussing 'breastification'. Whiskey assists in pitching the products before Duke's mother interrupts and slaps him for ignoring her calls.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Engaging characters
Satirical tone

Weaknesses

Controversial subject matter
Lack of significant character development

General Critique

The scene starts with a transition from Birdie discussing the mysterious wooden box to Duke Cody live broadcasting on YouTube, which feels abrupt and disjointed.
The dialogue between Duke and Whiskey discussing the 'breastification' of America comes off as crass and insensitive, potentially alienating some viewers.
The tone of the scene shifts from light-hearted banter to a more serious moment when Duke's mother enters and confronts him, creating a jarring contrast.
The transition from Duke's YouTube broadcast to his interaction with his mother in the mcmansion hallway feels forced and lacks a smooth flow.
The introduction of Duke's mother slapping him seems out of place and doesn't add much to the overall narrative or character development.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider a smoother transition between Birdie's discussion of the wooden box and Duke's YouTube broadcast to improve the flow of the scene.
Reconsider the dialogue between Duke and Whiskey to ensure it is respectful and appropriate, especially when discussing sensitive topics.
Maintain a consistent tone throughout the scene to avoid abrupt shifts in mood that may confuse or disengage the audience.
Work on creating a more seamless transition between Duke's YouTube broadcast and his interaction with his mother to enhance the scene's coherence.
Evaluate the relevance of Duke's mother slapping him and consider if it adds value to the scene or if it can be revised to better serve the narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

DUKE
I'm sorry it's just we're live

MA
What?

DUKE
We're -

MA
What?

Stares him down. His eyes on the floor.

DUKE
Nothing, jeez mom, I'm sorry.

She nods cooly and walks off.

MA
You got a delivery, it's in the
kitchen.

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
10.

10 INT. DEBELLA HOME / CONFERENCE ROOM / APARTMENT 10

SPLIT-SCREEN all - Lionel is examining the box with a loupe.

LIONEL
Maybe it's sensitive to heat?

BIRDIE
Wait here's Duke, hold on - Duke!

Now include in the split-screening:

11 INT. DUKE'S KITCHEN - DAY 11

Duke's box is on the mcmansion kitchen table, but his is
different - the wood top is not smooth and featureless but
COVERED IN complex puzzles. He talks on speakerphone.

DUKE
What is this thing? My mom already
broke it.

His mom's voice from the hall:

MA (O.S.)
It's a stereogram!

DUKE MA (O.S.)
She did something to it and
it opened up, I dunno she
broke it - Ma! It's a stereogram, I told
you.

Lionel's eyes widen as he runs his hands over the patterned
wood grain surface.

LIONEL
A stereogram...

CLAIRE DEVON
A what-o-gram? Wait, a
stereogram, were those those The magic eye things, I
things - could never do those

DUKE
Ma! What'd I tell you about touching
my stuff!

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
11.
11 CONTINUED: 11

Lionel brings his fingers close to his eyes so they cross,
then moves it away - the pattern on the wood grain doubles
and blurs, then focuses and comes together like a Magic Eye
painting... forming a large 3D ARROW SHAPE. He presses his
finger just under the tip of the arrow.

A hidden button in the wood depresses with a CLICK and the
top of the box slides open with magical fluidity, revealing
four quadrants with intricate puzzles, three covered with
fine gold mesh.

Lionel's eyes gleam with childlike wonder.

LIONEL
Oh wow...

CUT TO: the gang works together, solving the puzzles one by
one. The first is a checkered board with three colored
marbles arranged on it.

PEG LIONEL
Do you group them by color
maybe - Or size? Weight, should I
weigh them?

CLAIRE
Eight by eight - it's a chess board!
This is a chess endgame, it's - So
it's set up for mate in one, should
I -

LIONEL
Do it Kasparov!

She slides one of the marbles to checkmate. With the same
graceful fluidity, one of the gold mesh coverings slips
away, revealing the next puzzle.

BEGIN A BRIEF SOLVING MONTAGE:

A completed tic-tac-toe grid with an "F" to the left of it,
and a small telegraph key (tapping device).

BIRDIE
That's tic-tac-toe! I know this!

CLAIRE BIRDIE
But it's solved already so
it can't be - thank you It's tic-tac-toe.
Birdie, for contributing,
yes.

(CONTINUED)

Genres: Drama, Mystery, Thriller
Tone: Intriguing, Suspenseful, Mysterious, Engaging

Summary Caught in a lie, Duke uncovers a mysterious puzzle box, its intricate challenges enticing the team as they race to unravel its secrets.

Strengths

Engaging mystery element
Collaborative problem-solving
Intriguing dialogue

Weaknesses

Lack of direct conflict
Limited emotional impact

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition between Duke being caught in a lie by his mother and the split-screen conversation with Lionel examining the box.
The dialogue feels a bit disjointed and could benefit from more natural flow and interaction between the characters.
The introduction of the stereogram puzzle is intriguing, but the execution could be more engaging to build suspense and curiosity.
The resolution of the puzzle with the chess endgame feels rushed and could be expanded to create more tension and excitement.
The montage of solving puzzles could be more visually engaging and dynamic to keep the audience's interest.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition between scenes to improve the overall flow.
Work on refining the dialogue to make it more realistic and engaging for the audience.
Enhance the introduction of the stereogram puzzle to build anticipation and mystery.
Expand the resolution of the chess endgame puzzle to create more suspense and excitement.
Make the montage of solving puzzles more visually engaging and dynamic to maintain audience interest.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
12.
11 CONTINUED: (2) 11

PEG LIONEL
Wait - the tapper thing,
it's for morse code - the
x's and o's are dots and Dits and dahs! That's an O -
dashes and U - R, FOUR, which is,
here -

BIRDIE
It's tic-tac-toe...

He taps four dots and a dash and the next screen opens - a
sliding tile puzzle. They all dive in, slowly revealing a
large capital "N"

BIRDIE CLAIRE
Is something supposed to N... maybe stands for
happen? something, maybe in one of
the other puzzles

Without turning from the sink Duke's mom:

MA DUKE
It's a compass Ma!

LIONEL
North! The whole thing's a compass,
turn it - what's true north, where
are we - this way -

Spinning the box so it faces north, jangling it a bit and
THE FINAL mesh SLIDES OPEN, revealing the workings of a
MUSIC BOX. In addition four little BARS pop up on the four
top edges of the box.

The music box starts to play a classical tune.

CLAIRE LIONEL
It's music. Guys. It's Shhhh
music. It's music.

BIRDIE
Are you mocking me?

CLAIRE
Yes

BIRDIE
Alright ha ha I'm gonna shazam it.

Birdie loudly talks into a large white cube on the table.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
13.
11 CONTINUED: (3) 11

BIRDIE (cont'd)
ALEXA, SHAZAM THIS SONG PLEASE.
ALEXA, SHAZAM THIS SONG PLEASE.
ALEXA, SHAZAM THIS SONG PLEASE.

Yo-Yo Ma, eating a slice of pizza, leans over to Peg.

YO-YO MA
That's Bach's "Little Fugue in G
Minor."

PEG
Are you sure?

YO-YO MA
Yeah. Listen.

BIRDIE
I'm shazaaming it.

YO-YO MA
A fugue is a beautiful musical puzzle
based on one one tune, and when you
layer this tune on top of itself it
starts to change and turns in to a
beautiful new structure.

Birdie realizes

BIRDIE
This can't shazaam, it's a lamp.

CLAIRE
I love you Birdie.

BIRDIE
I love you too!

LIONEL
Wait. Layered back over itself. Hold
on. See that center wheel? Lift it
up...

The entire top layer pops up like an album off a turntable,
on a center spoke.

It starts SPINNING, then settles... revealing FOUR NEW
PUZZLES.

LIONEL (cont'd)
A whole new tune.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
14.
11 CONTINUED: (4) 11

DUKE
Freakin Miles, man. Genius.

MA
That first one's the Fibonacci
sequence.

DUKE
Ma!

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Intriguing, Suspenseful, Mysterious, Exciting

Summary As the group continues solving puzzles, they encounter a music box playing Bach's "Little Fugue in G Minor." Yo-Yo Ma identifies the piece as a fugue, a musical puzzle. Lifting the center wheel of the music box reveals four new puzzles, including the Fibonacci sequence.

Strengths

Engaging concept
Sharp dialogue
Teamwork dynamics

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Minimal character development

General Critique

The scene introduces a series of puzzles that the characters must solve, which adds an element of mystery and intrigue to the story.
The dialogue is engaging and helps to move the scene forward, with each character contributing to the puzzle-solving process.
The visual elements of the music box and the puzzles add depth and interest to the scene, creating a sense of discovery and excitement.
The interaction between the characters, such as Birdie's attempt to use Shazam and Yo-Yo Ma's identification of the music, adds humor and personality to the scene.
The scene effectively builds suspense and curiosity as the characters work together to solve the puzzles and uncover new challenges.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more character development or backstory to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
Explore the relationships between the characters further to create more tension and conflict.
Ensure that the resolution of the puzzles ties back to the overall plot and advances the story in a meaningful way.
Consider incorporating additional visual elements or sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the scene.
Continue to build on the mystery and intrigue of the puzzles to keep the audience engaged and eager to see what happens next.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MONTAGE: puzzle pieces sliding, abacus tiles being
calculated, color filters irising over illuminated suns,
gold mesh opening, three more puzzles solved by our group as
the excitement mounts. Finally:

LIONEL
Forty seven for sure?

DUKE
(looking at his phone)
That's the atomic number of silver -
that's definitely silver?

BIRDIE
That's silver. So this is it?

They all set number tumblers (beneath a mounted chunk of
silver) to "47." A simple switch below the tumblers.

LIONEL
Ok. One. Two. Three.

They all flip the final switch.

The top of the box SPLITS down the middle and parts,
revealing a CENTRAL CHAMBER covered with a wooden DOME.

This DOME then opens like a flower in time lapse,
beautifully revealing a recess with a blue index card sized
NOTE inside.

With hushed awe, Claire, Lionel, Duke and Birdie all take
their notes, and read.

CLAIRE
My dear friends, my beautiful
disruptors, my closest inner circle.

LIONEL
We could all use a moment of
normalcy. And so, you are cordially
invited

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
15.
11 CONTINUED: (5) 11

BIRDIE
for a long weekend on my private
island AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!

DUKE
where we will celebrate the bonds
that connect us. And I hope your
puzzle solving skills are whetted,

BIRDIE
AAAAAAAAAHHHHH YES YES YES YES

LIONEL
because you will also be competing to
solve the mystery...

CLAIRE
...of my murder. Travel details to
come, please forward any dietary
restrictions. Love and all my kisses,
Miles.

12 INT. DUKE'S KITCHEN 12

Duke is bubbling with excitement.

DUKE
Oh my god - Ma, where's my spear
fishing gear at? I gotta pack it!
(shouts)
Babe! Hey babe! Get packed!

As he leaves Whiskey walks in, blinks at the box.

WHISKEY
What's that?

MA
I dunno.

13 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM 13

Lionel leans back, twirling the invite. He turns off the
banks of monitors with a remote control.

14 INT. APARTMENT 14

Birdie is losing her shit, dancing around the party.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
16.
14 CONTINUED: 14

BIRDIE
Yessssssssssssssss!

HARD CUT TO:

15 INT. GARAGE 15

A darkened garage, with moving boxes half packed. A card
table has the familiar box on it, still smooth and solid and
unsolved. The "LOVE MILES!" card next to it.

Sitting behind the table, staring blankly at the box, is a
WOMAN in her 30s we have not met yet. Her expression is
unreadable. She stares at the box for a long while.

Then she gets up and walks out of frame. We stay with the
box. Sounds of clattering. Then a few moments later she
comes back.

With a hammer.

Without hesitation she SMASHES the box. It splinters apart -
all the intricate puzzles shattering, springs and latches
and pieces flying everywhere. She smashes it until it breaks
open entirely, revealing the invitation inside.

She drops the hammer. Takes the invite. Sits. Reads it.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Excitement, Suspense, Intrigue, Awe, Shock

Summary The group solves a series of puzzles and opens a box containing an invitation to a weekend on a private island. The invitation reveals that the host has been murdered and challenges the group to solve the mystery.

Strengths

Engaging mystery
Intriguing concept
Strong plot development
Compelling characters
Suspenseful tone

Weaknesses

Limited character development
Some predictable elements

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from the group solving puzzles to Duke's kitchen, then to a conference room, and finally to Birdie's apartment, which can be disorienting for the audience.
The dialogue lacks depth and emotional resonance, with characters simply stating facts and reacting with excitement or confusion.
The pacing of the scene feels rushed, with significant events like the opening of the puzzle box and the revelation of the invitation not given enough time to build tension and suspense.
The character of the woman in the garage is introduced abruptly and her actions of smashing the box with a hammer feel forced and lacking in motivation or context.
The scene lacks a clear emotional arc or character development, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters or understand their motivations.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to have a more coherent flow, focusing on one location at a time to allow for smoother transitions and better storytelling.
Enhance the dialogue by adding subtext, conflict, and emotional depth to make the characters more engaging and relatable.
Slow down the pacing of the scene to build suspense and tension, particularly during key moments like the opening of the puzzle box and the reading of the invitation.
Provide more context and motivation for the woman in the garage, explaining her actions and giving her character more depth and complexity.
Work on developing a clear emotional arc for the scene, with characters experiencing growth or change that adds depth to the overall narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Something boiling behind her face. Eyes brimming. Maybe
rage. Maybe sadness. Whatever it is, it stays behind her
eyes and she finishes reading and stares through the
invitation for a long, long while.

CUT TO:

On an iPad screen, little robot men traverse a space station
in a video game. "EMERGENCY MEETING!" flashes on the screen,
and then "DISCUSS!"

16 INT. BENOIT BLANC'S APARTMENT - DAY 16

BLANC
Hold on. What's happening?

Blanc sits in his bath tub smoking a cigar, annoyed and
disinterested. On a second ipad, a SKYPE call with four of
his friends.

BLANC (cont'd)
What just happened? I'm so confused.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
17.
16 CONTINUED: 16

ANGELA LANSBURY
Blanc, I saw you go in the engine
room. You're the imposter, we all
know it.

BLANC
I'm sorry, I don't understand this at
all, so Angie caught me and now the
game's just over?

STEPHEN SONDHEIM
You're thrown out of the airlock,
it's a no brainer.

BLANC
Yeah, sorry Steve, I know you're
saying words but they mean nothing to
me, absolute gibberish. I think maybe
this game is just not my thing.

On the screen: Blanc's robot spins out into space, resulting
in a VICTORY for the team.

KAREEM ABDULJABBAR
I gotta say, "the world's greatest
detective," I really thought you'd be
better at this.

NATASHA LYONNE
Maybe we should try Codenames? Or
Quiplash?

A KNOCKING from out in the apartment somewhere.

BLANC
No no, I look I appreciate you all
trying to do this for me.

KAREEM ABDULJABBAR
We're worried about you buddy.
Lockdown's not been easy for any of
us, we'd all kill for a vacation
right now. But Phillip told me you
haven't left the bath in a week?

BLANC
Oh that's hyperbole.

KNOCKING AGAIN.

BLANC (cont'd)
(shouts)
Answer that, would you?

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
18.
16 CONTINUED: (2) 16

PHILLIP (O.S.)
You're not in the bath again are
you??

BLANC
(to Phillip, guilty)
No!
(back to the zoom)
I just I lose it a bit between cases
anyway, but I'm really feeling
insane. My mind is a fueled up racing
car and I've nowhere to drive it.

NATASHA LYONNE
Have you tried crosswords?

BLANC
I don't need puzzles or games, and
the last thing I need is a vacation.
I need danger, the hunt, a challenge.
I need a great case.

PHILLIP (O.S.)
Blanc! There's someone here for you.

Blanc looks off in the direction of the voice, curious.

PHILLIP (O.S.) (cont'd)
With a box.

CUT TO:

Genres: Mystery, Comedy, Drama
Tone: Confusion, Annoyance, Curiosity, Humor

Summary In Benoit Blanc's apartment, the master detective indulges in an online video game with his friends while soaking in a bubble bath. Bored and frustrated with the game, Blanc expresses his confusion and longing for a genuine challenge. As he continues to play, a knock on the door interrupts his game, informing him of a visitor with a mysterious box, sparking his curiosity.

Strengths

Witty dialogue
Dynamic character interactions
Blend of mystery and comedy

Weaknesses

Limited external conflict
Relatively low emotional impact

General Critique

The transition from the intense moment of Birdie smashing the intricate puzzle box to Blanc playing an online video game in his bath is quite abrupt and disjointed.
The dialogue in the video game scene feels disconnected from the previous scene and lacks context for the reader to fully understand what is happening.
Blanc's lack of interest and confusion in the video game conversation doesn't seem to align with his character as a detective, making it feel out of place.
The dialogue between Blanc and his friends in the video game scene doesn't add much to the overall story or character development.
The scene lacks a clear purpose or connection to the larger narrative, leaving the reader feeling disconnected and confused.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider a smoother transition between the intense moment of Birdie smashing the puzzle box and Blanc playing the video game to maintain the flow of the story.
Provide more context or background information in the video game scene to help the reader understand the significance of the conversation and why it is included in the script.
Ensure that Blanc's reactions and dialogue in the video game scene are consistent with his character as a detective, adding depth and authenticity to the interaction.
Consider revising or removing the video game scene to maintain focus on the main storyline and characters, avoiding unnecessary distractions.
Integrate elements from the previous scene into Blanc's current situation to create a more cohesive and engaging narrative flow.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

17 SHIMMERING WATER 17

Opening title over glistening waves. Tilt up to reveal:

18 EXT. GRECIAN PORT TOWN - DAY 18

Hills dotted with rustic homes, a charming HOTEL on the
water. A long JETTY juts out into the crystal blue sea.

At the end of this jetty, sitting with his luggage, Benoit
Blanc checks his watch. He wears a dapper face mask.

Blanc is alone. Until an N-95 masked Lionel walks up with
his roller bag. Stops about 20 feet from Blanc. Gives him a
polite nod but doesn't engage, checks his phone.

Blanc waits a moment, not sure if he should say something.
Finally he decides "this is silly" and starts to say
something when -

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
19.
18 CONTINUED: 18

BEEP BEEP

A cab pulls up, and deposits a masked Claire and her
luggage. Lionel greets her warmly. Blanc stands, but they
both ignore him, and eventually he sits again awkwardly.

LIONEL
Governor.

CLAIRE
Hey genius.

Birdie and Peg come down the jetty in a golf cart driven by
a masked BELLHOP from the little hotel, Louis Vuitton bags
stacked in back. She wears a fashionable but totally useless
lace mask.

BIRDIE
Hellooooooo!

Claire grins tightly, leaning into Lionel.

CLAIRE LIONEL
We need to talk. I know.
Just us. I know.
Maybe when we're - Sure.

Then Birdie is upon them like a summer storm in colorful
silks and a huge hat.

BIRDIE
Oh my god. We can't hug right? Can
we?

CLAIRE / LIONEL / PEG
No.

BIRDIE
I want to hug everyone, this feels so
crazy hello hello

CLAIRE
Birdie. Hi Peg. You need a hand?

With the luggage. Lionel hops forward and helps her and the
bellhop unload.

PEG
Thanks, hi.

BIRDIE
Did you two stay at the hotel last
night? We didn't see you.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
20.
18 CONTINUED: (2) 18

CLAIRE
No Birdie we clearly just arrived.

Birdie points to Blanc, still watching silently.

BIRDIE
But YOU, hello, Stranger Danger!

BELLHOP
(to Blanc)
Mr. Blanc, you are Stranger Danger?

BLANC
No, no, that's fine Nikos, I don't
even know what that means.

A sleek two level boat glides up to the jetty, but Lionel
squints, looking at Blanc for the first time.

LIONEL
Wait - Benoit Blanc?

CLAIRE
Oh my god, Benoit Blanc the
detective? Did you solve the murder
of - oh whatshername, that ballet
dancer thing, that's you?

BLANC
It is. I'm obviously familiar with
you all as well - Governor, Dr.
Toussaint, Miss Birdie Jay. What an
extraordinary gathering.

Before anyone can answer a deep guttural BOOM like a gunshot
draws their attention towards the town.

19 EXT. GRECIAN PORT TOWN STREETS - DAY 19

A helmet-less mask-less Duke roars through the narrow
coastal streets on a barking motorcycle, Whiskey on back.
She fires a ridiculous pearl handled gun into the air.

20 EXT. JETTY 20

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Comedy
Tone: Awkward, Exciting, Humorous

Summary Benoit Blanc arrives at a jetty and is ignored by the other characters. Claire and Lionel arrive, followed by Birdie, Peg, and a bellhop. Birdie greets everyone warmly but ignores Blanc. Claire asks Blanc if he is the detective who solved the murder of the ballet dancer, and Blanc says yes. Suddenly, a loud boom is heard from the town.

Strengths

Engaging characters
Intriguing setup
Witty dialogue

Weaknesses

Lack of significant character development
Some awkward pacing

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear focus on the main characters and their dynamics, leading to a lack of depth in their interactions.
The introduction of multiple characters in a short span of time makes it difficult for the audience to connect with each of them.
The dialogue feels forced and lacks natural flow, making it hard to engage with the characters and their relationships.
Blanc's presence in the scene is overshadowed by the arrival of other characters, diminishing his impact as a central figure.
The scene lacks a clear sense of purpose or direction, leaving the audience confused about the significance of the interactions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on developing the relationships and dynamics between the main characters to create more engaging interactions.
Introduce the characters in a more gradual and deliberate manner to allow the audience to connect with each of them.
Work on refining the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of the characters' personalities and relationships.
Give Blanc a more prominent role in the scene to establish him as a central figure and drive the narrative forward.
Clarify the purpose of the scene and ensure that each interaction serves to advance the plot or develop the characters.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

He pulls up to the gang and hops off, Whiskey hands him his
gun which he holsters. Grabs his rucksack.

DUKE
Crew! We have arrived, the disruptors
have assembled.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
21.
20 CONTINUED: 20

BIRDIE
Duke pook!

He hugs Birdie, when he goes for Peg she steps away

PEG
Nope

LIONEL CLAIRE
Hi Duke. Duke.

He holds Whiskey's waist and beams, showing her off.

DUKE
You all remember Whiskey. My girl.

CLAIRE LIONEL
of course, Whiskey. Uh huh.

DUKE
Who's that?

He nods at Blanc aggressively.

CLAIRE
Why are you in Greece, Mr. Blanc?

BLANC
Well, I'm assuming like all of us, I
was invited. By Miles Bron.

The gang exchanges confused looks. Duke, weirdly suspicious:

DUKE
You tight with Miles?

BLANC
No, we've never met.

LIONEL
Oh I get it, the murder mystery game!
Miles, man - Benoit Blanc's gonna
solve the mystery of Miles' murder?
This will be fun.

BLANC
Well we'll see.

At that moment a BLACK SUV pulls up swiftly and an EFFICIENT
MAN in sportswear hops out, speaks efficiently.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
22.
20 CONTINUED: (2) 20

EFFICIENT MAN
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to
Greece. That fine craft will take you
to Mr. Bron's island, a two hour
journey. Your captain Mr. Andino will
assist with your luggage.

The burly captain Mr. ANDINO lumbers down the gangplank and
starts lugging the bags on board with a grunt. The efficient
man wields a strange looking gun-shaped device.

EFFICIENT MAN (cont'd)
But first, would you each lower your
masks and extend your tongues, this
will be momentarily uncomfortable.

He starts with Birdie, aims the gun's nozzle into her throat
and shoots a burst of compressed mist with a sharp PSSST.
She gags. He gives her a white rubber wrist band.

BIRDIE
Whew, what uh -

EFFICIENT MAN
Mr. Cody.

DUKE EFFICIENT MAN
There's no pineapple in
that? Duke don't dance with
pineapple. No pineapple. Open please.

One by one they get their mysterious sprays. Blanc and
Claire wait at the end of the line.

BLANC
Seems I'm odd man out - you're all
friends?

CLAIRE
Miles does these reunion weekends
once a year, some nutso invitation
and extravagant trip, his little
menagerie. Excuse me, I love you're
accent I just had to try it.

BLANC
I see...

Claire's turn to get her spray - she gags. Birdie slips in
next to Blanc.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
23.
20 CONTINUED: (3) 20

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Comedy
Tone: Suspenseful, Humorous, Mysterious

Summary Duke and Whiskey arrive and introduce themselves to the others. Blanc expresses confusion about being invited by Miles Bron. An efficient man sprays a mysterious mist into the group's mouths before they board a boat to Miles Bron's island.

Strengths

Engaging concept of solving puzzles to uncover a mystery
Diverse and quirky characters
Humorous dialogue and interactions

Weaknesses

Limited character development
Some confusion in the introduction of new elements like the murder mystery game

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, with characters interacting in a disjointed manner.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, with characters making abrupt shifts in tone and behavior.
There is a lack of depth and development in the interactions between the characters, making it difficult for the audience to connect with them.
The introduction of the efficient man and the mysterious mist spray feels out of place and confusing.
The scene fails to build tension or intrigue, missing an opportunity to engage the audience in the unfolding mystery.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on developing more organic and meaningful interactions between the characters to create depth and engagement.
Clarify the purpose of each character's actions and dialogue to ensure they contribute to the overall story.
Consider restructuring the scene to build tension and intrigue, leading to a more compelling narrative.
Introduce the mysterious mist spray in a more seamless and logical way to avoid confusion.
Work on creating a cohesive and purposeful scene that advances the plot and keeps the audience invested in the story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BIRDIE
Eight years of these trips, you're
the first new person he's ever
invited. You must be very special. I
love this material, what is this?

She's touching his very normal shirt.

BLANC
Cotton, I think?

EFFICIENT MAN
Sir.

BLANC
What is that?

EFFICIENT MAN
Open please.

Blanc does, SPRAY, gag. He goes to replace his mask but

EFFICIENT MAN (cont'd)
You won't need that anymore. You're
good.

BLANC EFFICIENT MAN
I won't? - Good.

BLANC
So is it, was that a disinfectant,
some sort of -

EFFICIENT MAN
You're. Good. Have a great trip
everyone!

Blanc, unbelieving, nudges Claire. Massages his throat.

They're all filing up the gangplank when a tooting horn gets
their attention.

A Greek TAXI pulls up, and the woman who smashed the box
gets out with a small suitcase. Looks up at them all.

Blanc watches the gang, whose jaws collectively drop. Every
single one of them looks like they've just seen a ghost.
Birdie waves and smiles hollowly at the woman.

BIRDIE
Andi! Hiiiiii!
(not much quieter)
Holy. Shit.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
24.
20 CONTINUED: (4) 20

The efficient man greets the woman that Birdie called ANDI
and gives her her spray. Blanc takes this all in.

21 INT. BOAT - AT SEA - DAY 21

The boat cuts through emerald sun spangled waters. Our whole
gang aboard.

Blanc meanders over to Lionel, who leans on a rail.

BLANC
I could not help but notice a stir at
her arrival.

Andi on the deck below them, alone.

LIONEL
Andi. Yeah, that was a stir.

BLANC
She not in your little gang?

LIONEL
She was. She is. Andi started Alpha
ten years ago, with Miles, just the
two of them.

BLANC
(dawning)
That's Cassandra Brand?

LIONEL
Andi. Yeah.

BLANC
Are they no longer partners?

LIONEL
With one legal move he cut her out
completely. Booted her without a
dime. Social Networked her.

BLANC
Lord. But he still invited her? To
this weekend?

LIONEL
The real question isn't why'd he
invite her. It's why did she show up?

Blanc looks down at Andi, framed against the glittering sea.

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
25.

22 EXT. GREEK ISLAND - DAY 22

AERIAL SHOT - the boat approaches a very small island, with
ONE SINGLE COMPOUND built on it.

23 EXT. BEACH - DAY 23

As the boat approaches the small spit of sand, a glimmering
glass-like dock with ironic political art on it MAGICALLY
rises piece by piece from the sea.

24 INT. BOAT 24

Lionel with Captain Andino, regarding the dock.

LIONEL
Wow - is that dock a Banksy?

ANDINO
Peet-cha-chite.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intriguing, Mysterious, Tense

Summary Blanc joins a group of friends on a trip, but they are surprised to see Andi, the ex-partner of one of the members, Miles. Blanc learns that Andi was cut out of the company she started with Miles and is now penniless. As the boat approaches a small island, a glass dock with political art magically rises from the sea, adding to the group's uneasy and mysterious encounter with Andi.

Strengths

Engaging concept
Mysterious atmosphere
Intriguing character dynamics
High stakes

Weaknesses

Some characters lack depth
Dialogue could be more impactful

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, leaving the audience confused about the significance of Andi's arrival and the interaction with the efficient man.
The dialogue feels disjointed and lacks depth, failing to establish meaningful connections between the characters.
There is a missed opportunity to build tension and intrigue as Andi's arrival should have a more impactful and mysterious introduction.
Blanc's interaction with Claire and Lionel on the boat lacks depth and fails to provide meaningful insight into the characters or the unfolding mystery.
The transition between the boat approaching the island and the scene on the beach feels abrupt and disjointed.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify the purpose of Andi's arrival and make her introduction more mysterious and impactful.
Enhance the dialogue to establish meaningful connections between the characters and provide depth to their interactions.
Build tension and intrigue by adding layers to Blanc's interaction with Claire and Lionel, providing more insight into the characters and the unfolding mystery.
Smooth out the transition between scenes to create a more cohesive flow of events.
Consider adding more depth and complexity to the scene to engage the audience and further develop the storyline.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

LIONEL
Is that the island? In Greek?

ANDINO
Peet-cha-chite.

LIONEL
Peetchachite.

25 EXT. BEACH 25

As the boat nestles up to the dock, we reveal a man sitting
in a beach chair playing a guitar.

Barefoot in beach clothes, with an easy manner and charisma,
MILES BRON plucks "Blackbird" and watches his friends
arrive. Then stands to greet them with a warm smile.

BIRDIE
Miiiiiiiiles! With your island.

She runs into his arms, big swinging hug.

MILES
Baby Birdie.

BIRDIE
Serenading us! With my song!

(CONTINUED)

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25 CONTINUED: 25

MILES
On the guitar Paul wrote it on. I
know legit right! But look at your
face it was worth it.

Birdie's jaw drops at this holy relic. Miles sees everyone
else coming and he tosses the guitar onto his beach chair.

MILES (cont'd)
My friends. Old friends.

CLAIRE
Can we - after the men in black
thing, can we hug now?

MILES
We can hug now. Magical words right?
We can hug now.

They do. Duke and Whiskey next.

DUKE
Hey buddy. This is a dream.

They do a percussive back-slap hug.

MILES
Not a dream. Wide awake. And it feels
so good. Whiskey.

WHISKEY
Hey.

MILES
I love that necklace.

WHISKEY
This old thing?

Miles hugs Whiskey. Just a little too long. Duke averts his
eyes and quickly:

DUKE
Benoit Blanc, huh? Man when you throw
a murder mystery party you do it
right.

Lionel and Blanc coming up the beach. Lionel gives Miles a
quick hug.

LIONEL
Hey pal.

(CONTINUED)

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27.
25 CONTINUED: (2) 25

BLANC
Mr. Bron, I cannot overstate my
gratitude for the invitation.

MILES
I am so happy to meet...

But Miles's eyes are already looking past him.

MILES (cont'd)
Andi. You're here.

She stares back coldly.

ANDI
I am.

DUKE
Alright, when's the murder start?

MILES
Patience, just a little patience.
Let's all embreathiate this moment.
Old friends. We've got quite a
weekend coming. I love you all. I
wanted to say that.

Miles takes a moment. A guy in his 30s with a very Kato
Kaelin vibe strolls nonchalantly past with a corona.

MILES (cont'd)
We've got a great weekend, just our
gang, just us.

DEROL
Hey hey.

MILES
Hey Derol.

DEROL
I'm not here!

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Mysterious, Suspenseful, Intriguing, Light-hearted

Summary Miles Bron welcomes his friends to his private island, Peetchachite, with open arms. Amidst warm embraces and a serenade with Paul McCartney's "Blackbird" guitar, Miles expresses his love and excitement for the weekend ahead.

Strengths

Creative concept
Engaging plot development
Distinct character dynamics

Weaknesses

Some cliché dialogue
Forced character interactions

General Critique

The scene lacks depth and substance in terms of character interactions and development. While there are introductions and greetings, there is a lack of meaningful dialogue or conflict to engage the audience.
The dialogue feels superficial and lacks complexity. It mainly consists of simple greetings and compliments, missing an opportunity to delve into the characters' relationships and dynamics.
The scene relies heavily on cliched interactions and lacks originality. The characters' reactions and responses feel predictable and do not add depth to the story.
There is a missed opportunity to build tension or intrigue in the scene. The arrival of Andi, who seems to have a strained relationship with Miles, could have been explored further to create suspense and mystery.
The scene lacks a clear direction or purpose. It feels like a series of superficial interactions without a central conflict or driving force to propel the story forward.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Introduce more conflict or tension between the characters to create intrigue and engage the audience. Explore the strained relationship between Andi and Miles to add depth to the scene.
Develop the dialogue to be more meaningful and reflective of the characters' personalities and relationships. Add layers to the interactions to make them more engaging and dynamic.
Consider adding subtext to the dialogue to convey underlying emotions and motivations. This can help create depth and complexity in the scene.
Explore the characters' backstories and relationships to inform their interactions in the scene. Use this information to add depth and authenticity to the dialogue and character dynamics.
Ensure that each character has a clear objective or motivation in the scene to drive their interactions and create a sense of purpose and direction.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BIRDIE
Who's that?

MILES
That's Derol, he's just staying here,
going through some stuff, he's not
part of the experience at all.
Alright. First a proper tour of the
Glass Onion.

(CONTINUED)

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25 CONTINUED: (3) 25

With a gleam in his eye he leads them into the compound.

BIRDIE
Glass Onion! Like our bar! Aww I love
that.

Blanc lingers, looking back at the boat.

BLANC
Should we - get our bags - no?
Someone will, ok.

Everyone ignores him and walks after Miles. Except Andi, who
falls in step beside him. She eyes his discomfort, then says
as a statement of fact:

ANDI
This rich people shit is weird.

Blanc's relief is palpable.

BLANC
Thank you. I have occasionally put on
the dog in my life, but this is
stretching my stride-taking
abilities.

ANDI
You're doing great. I'm Andi.

BLANC
Very genial of you. Benoit.

ANDI
You've got a flat tire there.

His shoelace. He stops to tie it.

26 EXT. VILLA - COMPOUND 26

Meanwhile up ahead, the gang walks up a gentle tiered series
of landings, climbing into the compound, a mixture of
(excuse me) Bond villain lair and Mediterranean villa.

They've just turned a corner into a broad open courtyard,
and had their first real view of the place's defining
feature - perched at the top of a grand gently sloped
staircase, the main building is a massive orb of glass. It
sits like a crown atop the entire complex.

(CONTINUED)

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26 CONTINUED: 26

BIRDIE
Wow. It's like an actual huge glass
onion.

CLAIRE
(uh huh)
Yup.

MILES
Yup, it's past, present, future. What
came before me, what I am, what I
leave to the world.

Derol, walking by in the background

DEROL
Ignore me!

MILES
This is the full reclamation of
everything I've ever accomplished, up
until now.

Blanc and Andi join them, exchange a look at Miles's
oration.

LIONEL
How big a staff does it take to run
this place?

MILES
This weekend it's just us. Sent them
all home. This is a normal weekend
with old friends.

In the background, Boston Dynamics ROBOT DOGS waddle by with
everyone's LUGGAGE on their backs.

MILES (cont'd)
I don't want this to be some rich
asshole's house, it's not even a
house, it's a commune for creativity.

Andi stifles a grin. A low "DONG!" sounds over the complex.

LIONEL
What was that?

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Mysterious, Suspenseful, Intriguing, Quirky

Summary Miles gives the group a tour of his lavish compound, complete with a massive glass orb building. Andi and Blanc express their discomfort with the opulent surroundings, while Birdie and Claire are impressed by the estate's unique design. Lionel inquires about the staff size, and Derol ignores the group. The tour concludes with a mysterious "DONG!" sound echoing through the complex.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Intriguing setting
Quirky characters

Weaknesses

Low conflict level
Limited character development

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear direction or purpose, as it meanders without a strong focus on advancing the plot or developing the characters.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, with characters making random comments that don't contribute to the scene or the overall story.
Blanc's discomfort and Andi's statement about 'rich people shit' are cliched and don't add depth to their characters or the scene.
The description of the compound as a 'Bond villain lair' and 'Mediterranean villa' is contradictory and confusing, leading to a lack of clarity in the setting.
The introduction of the Boston Dynamics robot dogs carrying luggage feels out of place and doesn't serve a clear purpose in the scene.
The speech by Miles about the compound being a 'commune for creativity' lacks depth and comes off as pretentious rather than insightful.
The low 'DONG!' sound at the end of the scene feels random and disconnected from the rest of the dialogue and actions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on creating meaningful interactions between characters that drive the plot forward or reveal important information.
Streamline the dialogue to make it more natural and purposeful, with each line serving a specific function in the scene.
Develop Blanc and Andi's interaction to add depth to their characters and create a more engaging dynamic between them.
Clarify the description of the compound to create a vivid and coherent image in the reader's mind.
Consider removing the Boston Dynamics robot dogs or integrating them into the scene in a more meaningful way.
Revise Miles's speech to make it more authentic and reflective of his character, avoiding cliches and pretentious language.
Connect the 'DONG!' sound at the end of the scene to the rest of the narrative to create a sense of continuity and purpose.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES
An hourly chime, I had Phil Glass
compose it, to keep me centered in
time. Speaking of, let's start
experiencing this place together.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

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26 CONTINUED: (2) 26
MILES (cont'd)
The rooms are named after chakras,
your biorhythm is your key, get
changed, settle and let's have an
afternoon by the pool before the real
party begins.

All their white wrist bands start glowing a different color
and chakra name, for instance, Birdie's says "sacral." The
various VILLAS around the complex emit a soft color-coded
glow into the air above them.

BIRDIE
Sacral - you know me, Miles.

Everyone takes it in stride and parts with kind words for
their rooms.

MILES
Andi. I really am glad you are here.

She gives him an unreadable look and walks off. Then:

BLANC
Wow. I'm sorry, that is crazy.

MILES
Mr. Blanc. Could I have a word?

27 INT. THE GLASS ONION - DAY 27

Miles leads Blanc into his office in the huge dome of the
glass onion.

BLANC
Amazing, just amazing all of this,
I'm so happy to be included, and if
there's some role you'd like me to
play in this murder mystery game as
"the detective" I'm happy to oblige.
Just. Very happy. To be included.
And meet you. Is... that a motor car?

Through the back of the onion, perched on a platform high on
the roof of an adjoining building, is a gorgeous light blue
Porsche.

MILES
My baby blue. Goes anywhere I go, all
around the world.

BLANC
Why is it on the roof?

(CONTINUED)

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31.
27 CONTINUED: 27

MILES
(obviously)
There's nowhere to drive it on the
island.

BLANC
Ah of course.

MILES
Mr. Blanc. I wanted to ask. What are
you doing here?

BLANC
I'm sorry?

MILES
What are you doing here?

BLANC
You invited me.

MILES
No I didn't.

BLANC
You. You sent me a box.

MILES
You received a box?

BLANC
Yes, a wooden box was delivered to my
home with some simple children's
puzzles
(Miles flinches)
and when I completed them there was
an invitation inside.

MILES
Do you have that invitation?

Blanc, shaken, digs in his pocket and produces a familiar
blue card, hands it over.

BLANC
I do - I thought maybe we had to show
it or... I didn't know... sorry I'm
very confused, is this part of the
game, or...?

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Mysterious, Intriguing, Suspenseful, Confused, Curious

Summary Miles confronts Blanc about his presence on the island, denying having sent an invitation. Blanc insists he did, producing the wooden box invitation. Miles is shaken and examines the invitation.

Strengths

Intriguing concept
Engaging dialogue
Mysterious atmosphere
Character interactions

Weaknesses

Some confusion in character motivations
Lack of clear resolution

General Critique

The scene starts with Miles setting the tone for the group's experience on the island, but the transition from the chime to the wrist bands glowing could be smoother and more seamless.
The dialogue between Birdie and Miles about the chakras feels a bit forced and could be more natural.
Andi's unreadable look and Blanc's reaction could be more impactful and provide more insight into their characters.
Blanc's excitement and eagerness to be included in the murder mystery game could be toned down slightly to make his character more nuanced and less eager.
The revelation that Miles did not actually invite Blanc and the subsequent confusion could be more dramatic and suspenseful.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider refining the transition between the chime and the wrist bands glowing to make it more fluid.
Work on making the dialogue between Birdie and Miles about the chakras more organic and reflective of their characters.
Enhance the interaction between Andi and Blanc to add depth to their characters and create more tension.
Adjust Blanc's reaction to being included in the game to make his character more complex and less eager.
Focus on building suspense and drama in the revelation that Miles did not invite Blanc and the confusion that follows.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES
This is just like the others but... I
didn't send you this.

(CONTINUED)

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27 CONTINUED: (2) 27

Blanc has switched to another gear. His eyes grow distant.

BLANC
How many of these boxes did you
create?

MILES
Five. One for each of my guests.

BLANC
No test boxes or prototypes or -

MILES
No. My puzzle guy barely got the five
done in time and he apprenticed with
Ricky Jay.

BLANC
And once these boxes are open and the
puzzles complete, is there a way to
close them again? To reset them?

Miles squints then claps his hands.

MILES
Someone reset the box and sent it to
you as a gag.

BLANC
I'm mortified

MILES
Why? I've got the world's predefinite
detective at my murder mystery party,
that is so legit.

BLANC
Mr. Bron. I've learned through bitter
experience that an anonymous
invitation is not to be trifled with.

MILES
Ha! C'mon.

Miles stands and makes a grand sweeping gesture.

MILES (cont'd)
I invite you to my home, there, done,
you're invited. Relax, Enjoy the
weekend, hell try to solve the murder
mystery. If you can. I don't wanna
toot my own horn, but it's pretty
next level. See you by the pool.

(CONTINUED)

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27 CONTINUED: (3) 27

And Miles is gone, leaving Blanc with a deep look of
concentration on his face.

28 EXT. POOL - DAY 28

Perched high on the property, a long infinity pool meets the
sky seamlessly.

Birdie makes her entrance, in a fabulous swimsuit streaming
a silk robe behind her. She sits by Lionel and Claire, who
sports an aggressively plain beige one-piece.

BIRDIE
Guys. Lionel you are too hot to be a
scientist and Claire, you look so
cute.

Claire flips her off.

CLAIRE
Aw thanks Bird.

BIRDIE
You really try, that's what I like.
You make an effort.

CLAIRE
Well I figured. Greece.

Their banter has an underlying affection to it.

BIRDIE
God and no masks I can breathe again,
look at this pool, maybe I'll go for
a swim

At that moment Whiskey breaks the surface of the glittering
water in all her young instagram model splendor.

BIRDIE (cont'd)
maybe I'll lay out for a bit.

Blanc enters the pool area, in long shorts and a short
sleeve button up shirt. He joins Miles, Birdie and Peg in a
lounge area, where Miles holds court, sipping a beer and
strumming his guitar.

MILES
Blanc! Have a dip. Grab one of these,
Jared Leto sent 'em over. Hard
kombucha. Pretty good.

(CONTINUED)

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Mysterious, Light-hearted, Suspenseful, Playful

Summary Blanc interrogates Miles about the puzzle boxes and a reset box he received, setting up the mystery of the day. Birdie interacts with Lionel and Claire at the pool while Miles performs in the lounge area, creating a playful and intriguing atmosphere.

Strengths

Engaging plot development
Unique concept with puzzles and murder mystery challenge
Dynamic character interactions
Blend of mystery and comedy tones

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel repetitive or expository at times

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the mysterious nature of the puzzle boxes and the potential danger they pose.
Blanc's reaction to Miles denying sending the box is not strong enough, given the gravity of the situation.
The dialogue between Blanc and Miles feels somewhat disjointed and could benefit from more natural flow and depth.
Blanc's realization about the anonymous invitation being a serious matter is not emphasized enough, considering his expertise as a detective.
Miles' nonchalant attitude towards the situation undermines the suspense and mystery surrounding the puzzle boxes and the invitation.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Increase the tension and urgency in the scene by highlighting the potential danger of the puzzle boxes and the mysterious invitation.
Enhance Blanc's reaction to Miles denying sending the box to convey a stronger sense of suspicion and intrigue.
Refine the dialogue between Blanc and Miles to make it more engaging and reflective of their characters' motivations.
Emphasize Blanc's realization about the seriousness of the anonymous invitation to underscore the stakes involved.
Adjust Miles' attitude to be more enigmatic and mysterious, adding depth to his character and heightening the suspense.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

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34.
28 CONTINUED: 28

BLANC
Well. I am on vacation.

DUKE
(from the pool)
Hey, booch me!

Miles tosses him one. Above the bar cart, a flashy painting
of the BLUE PORSCHE.

BLANC
Baby blue!

DUKE MILES
Iconic. Remember you almost
pancaked me with it on the
road that night at Anderson Cooper's birthday,
Coop's parties are
memorable.

IN THE POOL - Lionel and Claire wade out into the deep end.

Duke pulls himself out of the pool and does some stretches.
He wears a speedo, his gun belt and pistol, dripping wet.

LIONEL
Really, Duke?

Duke, defiant, draws and FIRES his gun into the air.

Everyone jumps, annoyed.

DUKE
Really.

LIONEL
Asshole.

MILES
NOW it's a party!

Blanc wades into the pool with a beer, still with his shirt
on. Duke sits on the pool edge, leans back in the sun.

BLANC
That is quite a piece.

DUKE
Never without it.

BLANC
So I see.

(CONTINUED)

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28 CONTINUED: (2) 28

DUKE
You never know when shit's going to
go down.

Blanc eyes Lionel and Claire talking animatedly in the deep
end of the pool, but can't make out their conversation.

LATER - Birdie digs sunglasses out of her bag and lays out
in the sun, keeping an eye on Miles, who plays guitar for
Whiskey. Peg plops down next to Birdie, and low with fervent
urgency:

PEG BIRDIE
Birdie. You need to talk to I will.
him. Before dinner. You need I will.
to. You need to beg him. Oh god.

PEG
When he goes to his room, just follow
him and do it. Ok?

BIRDIE
I'll take care of him. Don't worry.

Birdie stares across the pool at Miles flirting with
Whiskey, sad rage in her eyes.

BIRDIE (cont'd)
There was a time you know, back when.
I was the one who'd been on
magazines, he was nobody, he couldn't
believe he was talking to me. He said
that. "You're Birdie Jay, from
billboards. I can't believe I'm
talking to you." He was this little
thing in my hand.
(beat)
I preferred that.

Birdie lies back, and notices Andi lying in the chair next
to her.

BIRDIE (cont'd)
Andi! Hi. Wow. Wow how long as it
been?

ANDI
Since the trial, so a few months.

(CONTINUED)

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28 CONTINUED: (3) 28

BIRDIE
The trial right, yeesh that was not
fun, for any of us, but, for all of
us. Peg, right? I'm uncomfortable I'm
going to swim.

She unceremoniously leaves. Andi and Peg smile tightly at
each other.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Mysterious, Light-hearted, Tense

Summary Miles and Duke engage in playful banter while lounging poolside. Duke's reckless gunshot draws reactions from the group, including a sharp rebuke from Lionel and a playful remark from Miles. Blanc joins Lionel and Claire in the pool, expressing curiosity about Duke's gun. Birdie remains aloof as she observes Miles flirting with Whiskey. Peg urges Birdie to confront Miles before dinner.

Strengths

Intriguing plot
Complex character dynamics
Engaging dialogue

Weaknesses

Some character interactions could be further developed
Pacing may be a bit slow in parts

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, making it feel disjointed and lacking in tension.
The introduction of Duke firing a gun into the air feels out of place and unnecessary, disrupting the otherwise relaxed and social atmosphere.
The dialogue between characters, especially Birdie and Peg, feels forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
The transition between different character interactions is abrupt and could benefit from smoother transitions to maintain the flow of the scene.
The scene lacks a clear purpose or progression, leaving the audience unsure of the significance of the interactions and events taking place.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider establishing a central conflict or goal for the scene to create a sense of purpose and drive the character interactions.
Reevaluate the use of Duke firing a gun into the air, as it feels out of place and may not align with the tone of the scene.
Focus on developing more meaningful and authentic dialogue between characters to deepen their relationships and provide insight into their personalities.
Work on creating smoother transitions between different character interactions to improve the overall flow of the scene.
Ensure that each interaction and event in the scene contributes to the overall narrative and character development to maintain audience engagement.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

LATER - Blanc strolls out from the bathroom holding a
magazine. He hears a clank and clatter - on a nearby table,
a FAX MACHINE spits a sheet into a large bucket, Miles
retrieves it and reads it.

BLANC
I can handle the Matisse in the
bathroom, but is that a... FAX
machine?

BIRDIE
(can you believe)
Miles doesn't have a phone.

MILES
It's really convenient, I have one
number goes to all my fax machines,
anywhere in the world. There is
something about analog -

The magazine Blanc holds is a vintage late 90s copy of
British fashion mag THE FACE. A teenage Birdie is on the
cover, with a large diamond set on her forehead.

BIRDIE
Oh, blast from my past, look
everybody, Miles you are so funny,
keeping this around.

He closes the magazine and sets it aside as Birdie joins the
small group of Blanc, Miles and Whiskey in the shade.

BLANC
Can I ask, what first drew you all
together? Such an eclectic bunch.

MILES
I think disruptors recognize each
other.

BIRDIE
Yes.

(CONTINUED)

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28 CONTINUED: (4) 28

BLANC
You've used that word before, what
does that mean?

MILES
Well.
(motions to Birdie)
Some people think Birdie is
disruptive every time she opens her
mouth, just because she is saying
what everyone is thinking but no one
has the nerve to say.

BIRDIE
I say it like I see it. It's true.

MILES
Seriously, you know about Sweetie
Pants, right.

BLANC
I'm going to embarrass myself - I
adore Sweetie Pants. I live in mine.

MILES
You are sitting next to Birdie Jay,
she was a fashion magnet! And
then the youngest editor of She-She
magazine, right, establishment BS, on
top of the world! But then -

BIRDIE
Well, then there was the whole thing
with the Halloween costume, it was a
tribute to Beyonce, but people did
not take it that way. Anyway I had a
lot of time at home, I just spent all
my time in...

BLANC
Sweat pants.

MILES
She comes out with designer sweat
pants. High quality, fashionable
sweat pants, hitting the market just
as the pandemic hit. She disrupted
her own disruption. She made a
killing.

Duke comes in, toweling himself off. Miles's hand, which was
resting on Whiskey's knee, subtly withdraws.

(CONTINUED)

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28 CONTINUED: (5) 28

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Mysterious, Light-hearted, Conversational

Summary Blanc is curious about the fax machine in Miles's house and is surprised to see a teenage Birdie on the cover of a magazine. Birdie is embarrassed by the photo, but Miles admires her disruptive nature. Duke enters, and Miles discreetly removes his hand from Whiskey's knee.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Character interactions
Revealing past experiences

Weaknesses

Lack of intense conflict
Limited emotional depth

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of direction or purpose, with multiple elements introduced but not fully explored or resolved.
There is a lack of cohesion in the dialogue, with conversations jumping from topic to topic without a clear connection or progression.
The introduction of the fax machine and the magazine with Birdie on the cover feels random and disconnected from the rest of the scene.
The dialogue between the characters feels forced and unnatural, with awkward transitions and unclear motivations for their interactions.
The scene lacks a strong emotional or narrative arc, leaving the reader feeling confused and disconnected from the characters.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify the purpose of the scene and ensure that each element introduced serves a clear function in advancing the plot or developing the characters.
Streamline the dialogue to focus on key themes or conflicts, ensuring that each conversation contributes to the overall narrative.
Consider revising the introduction of the fax machine and magazine to make them more relevant to the characters and the story.
Work on creating more natural and engaging dialogue that reflects the personalities and motivations of the characters.
Focus on building a stronger emotional and narrative arc within the scene to keep the reader engaged and invested in the story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES (cont'd)
Or Duke, look at Duke, do you think
people looked at him and saw anything
other than the beef, you think they
saw the first gamer with a million
followers on Twitch. Invented the
word "influencer."

Claire and Lionel have joined the group.

MILES (cont'd)
Or Claire blowing up conventional
politics, or Lionel pushing science
past its comfort point, it's what I
did with Alpha, it's disruption.
That's what I did with Al...

Andi appears, standing behind them. Miles changes tact.

MILES (cont'd)
...That's what we did with Alpha.
Tell you a little secret. Your world
is about to change. Once you hear it
you can't unhear it. Is your phone
turned off?

BLANC
Oh I left it in my room.

MILES
Okay, If you wanna shake things up,
start by breaking something small, a
norm, an idea, a convention, some
little business model. You go with
things that people are kind of tired
of anyway. Everybody gets excited
because you are busting things up
that everyone wanted broken anyway.
And that's... this is the infraction
point. Because this is where you have
to find it in yourself to keep going,
will you break more things and bigger
things, and break the thing that
nobody wants you to break. At that
point, people will stop being on your
side. There going to say you are
crazy, they will say you are a bully,
they'll tell you to stop, even your
partner will say that you need to
stop. Because nobody wants you to
break the system itself. But that is
true disruption. That is what unites
this group.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

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39.
28 CONTINUED: (6) 28
MILES (cont'd)
Every single one of us has hit that
point, and proved that they're
willing to cross it. Disruptors. All
of us.

A single pair of hands clap from outside the circle. Andi, a
wry smile on her face.

ANDI
Bravo. That was - wow. Real red pill
stuff Miles.

Miles seems genuinely hurt.

MILES
The Andi I built Alpha with, she
believed it.

ANDI
Oh I believe it. Mr. Blanc you're a
detective, can you spot the other
thing, the real thing that this group
has in common?

LIONEL
Andi c'mon -

But Andi continues with an almost unhinged intensity.

ANDI
Oh Lionel, Everybody knows who Lionel
works for, that's no secret, and we
know who bankrolled Claire's
campaign. But when nobody would touch
Birdie with a ten foot pole because
she went on Oprah and compared
herself to Harriet Tubman -

BIRDIE
In SPIRIT, not - oh god

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Intense, Confrontational, Revealing, Dramatic

Summary In a group setting, Miles advocates for disruption and breaking norms. Andi confronts the group, highlighting their shared experiences. Birdie is embarrassed by a previous comparison, creating tension and discomfort among the members.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Revealing character interactions
Intriguing theme of disruption

Weaknesses

Some characters overshadowed by others in the scene

General Critique

The scene starts with Miles discussing disruption and breaking norms, which is a common theme in the script. While the dialogue is engaging and sets the tone for the scene, it feels a bit repetitive as similar themes have been explored in previous scenes.
The introduction of Andi adds a new dynamic to the scene, but her sudden appearance and change in Miles' demeanor could be more smoothly transitioned. The shift in Miles' behavior from confident to hurt could be better developed to create a more impactful moment.
Andi's intense confrontation with the group feels a bit forced and melodramatic. The dialogue becomes heavy-handed and lacks subtlety, making the scene feel less authentic.
The dialogue between Andi and the group members, especially Birdie, comes across as confrontational and aggressive. It may benefit from more nuanced interactions and character development to make the conflict more engaging and believable.
The scene ends abruptly with Birdie's interruption, leaving the confrontation unresolved. It would be more effective to build up the tension and conflict to a climax before transitioning to the next scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider revising the dialogue to add more depth and nuance to the characters' interactions. Focus on creating authentic and believable conversations that reveal the characters' motivations and relationships.
Work on smoother transitions between different character dynamics and emotional shifts to ensure a more cohesive and engaging scene.
Explore ways to build up the tension and conflict gradually throughout the scene, leading to a more satisfying resolution or cliffhanger at the end.
Consider incorporating more subtle cues and gestures to convey emotions and character dynamics, rather than relying solely on dialogue to drive the scene.
Experiment with different pacing and structure to create a more dynamic and impactful scene that keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' journey.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

ANDI
- can you guess who stepped up as an
angel investor in Sweetie Pants? Or
when Duke got banned from Twitch for
hawking rhino horn boner pills to
teenage boys

DUKE
There was ZERO rhino in those pills

(CONTINUED)

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40.
28 CONTINUED: (7) 28

ANDI
Who do you think set him up on
YouTube and used his media empire to
promote his stream? That's the real
common thread here. Every single one
of you is holding on for dear life to
Miles Bron's golden titties. And
every one of you will stab a friend
in the back to hold on. That is what
I believe.

She storms off. Claire goes after her.

CLAIRE
Hey. Andi - wait -

After they're gone, a moment of tense silence. Miles leans
back, as if he's just watched a great fireworks display.

MILES
Wow. That was real. Anyway, dinner at
eight, see y'all there.

Miles ambles off.

Duke storms off, followed by Whiskey. Lionel looks deeply
troubled. A beat. Then:

BIRDIE
Like Miles said, I'm a truth teller,
some people can't handle it.

BLANC
(like honey)
It's a dangerous thing isn't it, to
mistake speaking without thought for
speaking the truth.

She grins flirtatiously at him.

BIRDIE
Are you calling me dangerous?

BLANC
Well we'll see. If you'll excuse me.

With a charming grin he steps away. She watches him go with
a wicked grin, which then dissolves away to something else.

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41.

29 EXT. GROUNDS - CONTINUOUS 29

Lionel trots into a garden where he finds Claire. She's
watching Andi, far off now, vanishes into the greenery.

CLAIRE
Something's off. I don't like this.

LIONEL
What do you mean?

CLAIRE
She's changed.

Claire seems afraid.

CLAIRE (cont'd)
What's she playing at?

30 EXT. ZEN GARDEN - DAY 30

Miles ambles towards his villa. Peg runs up and stops him.

PEG
Mr. Bron.

MILES
Hello.

PEG
Don't do this. Please. Bird showed me
the statement you want her to make,
to the press, about Bangladesh. And
if you make her go through with it,
her name is destroyed. But you see my
resume is just Birdie Jay, Birdie
Jay, a short stint in retail and then
Birdie Jay. So you see if her name is
destroyed then my name is...

MILES
I'm sorry....

PEG
....Peg.

MILES
I'm begging you - you gotta make her
make the statement. It's her only way
out.

(CONTINUED)

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42.
30 CONTINUED: 30

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Dramatic, Confrontational, Intense, Emotional

Summary Andi confronts the group, accusing them of being loyal to Miles Bron for personal gain. Miles dismisses her claims, while Lionel remains concerned. Blanc warns Birdy about the consequences of impulsive speech. Miles pressures Peg to persuade Birdy into making a damaging statement.

Strengths

Complex character dynamics
Tense and dramatic tone
Revealing hidden motivations and conflicts

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly confrontational or melodramatic

General Critique

The scene starts with a strong confrontation between Andi and the group, setting up tension and conflict.
The dialogue reveals deep-seated issues and secrets among the characters, adding layers to the story.
There is a good balance of tension, drama, and intrigue in the scene, keeping the audience engaged.
The dynamics between the characters are well-established, with each one having a distinct voice and motivation.
The scene ends with a sense of foreboding and uncertainty, leaving the audience wanting to know more.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more physical actions or visual cues to enhance the emotional intensity of the scene.
Explore the inner thoughts and feelings of the characters through internal monologues or reflections.
Provide more context or backstory to deepen the audience's understanding of the characters' motivations.
Work on tightening the dialogue to make it more impactful and concise.
Consider adding a cliffhanger or twist at the end of the scene to create more suspense and intrigue.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

He smiles reassuringly and walks off, leaving Peg smoldering
with anger.

REVEAL: Blanc, lingering behind a statue, eavesdropping.

Peg narrows her eyes, then walks off.

We stick with Blanc, who also processes all this. He walks
the strange beautiful grounds, past gardens and art
installations, deep in thought. As beautiful as it all is, a
sense of foreboding hangs in the gloaming.

On the crest of a hill he catches a glimpse of Duke jogging.

Blanc removes a slender cigar from his shirt pocket and
lights it. No sooner has he exhaled one puff when LIGHTS
start blinking in the trees around him, and a sharp ALARM
sounds.

SOOTHING ROBOT VOICE
This is a smokeless garden. This is a
smokeless garden. This...

Blanc tries to waft the smoke away but it all continues. He
panics and tosses the cigar in a nearby pond.

The POND then LIGHTS UP RED and another ALARM sounds

2ND SOOTHING ROBOT VOICE
Please keep our water clean. Please
keep our water clean. Please...

Blanc assesses the situation and FLEES.

31 EXT. GROUNDS - CONTINUOUS 31

Duke runs, then spots something, slows, stops. Hunches and
creeps without making a noise. He slips behind bushes close
to a picture window into a villa bedroom, with half drawn
blinds. Two people are kissing and talking on a bed.

Miles and Whiskey.

A twig SNAPS behind Duke. He looks back - nothing there.
Turns back to the window.

About 20 yards behind him, hidden as well, Blanc's head
rises up.

He wrinkles his nose at the spectacle. Then looks at Duke.
Watching the pair, who still kiss and speak.

(CONTINUED)

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43.
31 CONTINUED: 31

Rage on his face. Twisting branches in his clenched fist.
Next to his holstered gun.

Not liking this at all, Blanc silently withdraws.

32 EXT. THE GLASS ONION - EVENING 32

The central glass structure looms soft white, bathing the
grounds in a welcoming aura as the sunset's final glow
dissipates. The hourly chime DONGS.

33 INT. ATRIUM - EVENING 33

The main floor of the glass onion structure, a wide open
space with a central entryway, a very 70s feeling lounge
area with inset couches, and a dining table with a
spectacular view.

The guests filter in, and Miles greets them, drink in hand
and unlit pipe in his mouth.

MILES
Welcome gang. Some pre-murder drinks,
I've mixed everyone's favorites. And
we've got tamales.

A stacked bar cart with fixed drinks on top, each glass has
the guest's name elaborately etched on it. Lionel takes his
wryly and sips.

MILES (cont'd)
My chemist.

LIONEL
Lagavulin. Sixteen.

MILES
He likes it heavy on the fever.

LIONEL
Serve it up neat.

Blanc goes for the snack tray with mini tamales and hot
sauce, loading one up.

Birdie takes her tall yellow fruity drink.

BIRDIE
Is this my Cuban Breeze?

(CONTINUED)

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44.
33 CONTINUED: 33

MILES
It's the drink that got us on the no-
fly list at St. Barts. What else?

BIRDIE
Hashtag worth it.

MILES
Claire Bear - room temp white.

BLANC
(the hot sauce)
Halle Berry - that has a kick.

MILES
Jeremy Renner's small batch hot
sauce. I let him invest, he sends me
like a pallet every year.

Miles tosses Blanc a few bottles of the hot sauce, which
Blanc awkwardly holds for awhile then, not knowing what to
do with them, puts them in his jacket pocket.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Foreboding, Tense, Mysterious, Sarcastic, Light-hearted

Summary In the enigmatic grounds of the Glass Onion, Blanc's eavesdropping reveals Peg's resentment towards Duke. Amidst the tranquil ambiance, Blanc's actions trigger alarms, causing him to flee in a panic. Duke's discovery of Miles and Whiskey's secret kiss leaves unanswered questions. As the scene unfolds, Blanc's rage intensifies, casting a shadow over the unsettling atmosphere. The unresolved conflicts and eerie tone create a sense of foreboding, leaving the scene with a lingering unease.

Strengths

Intriguing setup
Well-defined characters
Engaging dialogue
Mysterious atmosphere

Weaknesses

Some moments of confusion or ambiguity
Emotional impact could be stronger

General Critique

The scene starts with Blanc eavesdropping on a conversation between Peg and Duke, which seems to set up some tension or conflict, but it doesn't lead to any significant development in the scene.
Blanc's panic and subsequent actions with the cigar triggering alarms and fleeing feel a bit disjointed and abrupt. The transition from eavesdropping to panic could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
The introduction of the soothing robot voices and the alarms in the garden, while adding a sense of mystery and foreboding, could be further integrated into the scene to enhance the tension and create a more cohesive atmosphere.
The visual descriptions of the scene, such as Blanc walking through the grounds and the glimpse of Duke jogging, provide a vivid setting but could be more connected to the overall narrative and character development.
The interaction between Duke and Blanc, with Duke's rage and Blanc's silent withdrawal, hints at potential conflict or confrontation, but it doesn't lead to any resolution or further exploration in the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider refining the transition between Blanc eavesdropping and his panic to create a more seamless progression of events.
Integrate the elements of the soothing robot voices and alarms in the garden more effectively to enhance the atmosphere and build tension in the scene.
Ensure that the visual descriptions of the setting and character actions are more closely tied to the narrative and character development to create a more cohesive scene.
Explore the potential conflict between Duke and Blanc further to add depth and intrigue to the scene.
Consider how the scene can contribute to the overall story arc and character dynamics to ensure that each element serves a purpose in advancing the plot.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES (cont'd)
And I apologize I don't know your
drink, but I have everything here,
pick your poison.
(then)
Hey Andi! I am hoping it's still
Whiskey soda.

Andi's slipped in, a chill goes through the room, and Lionel
and Claire turn their attention anywhere else they can.

Front and center in the main entryway is a small framed and
very familiar painting, behind glass.

CLAIRE
Ok. I know your whole thing with it,
but... but this place is like the
Tate Modern, why would you hang a
framed print of the Mona Lisa front
and center? It's like a Che poster in
a dorm room.

Miles grins in silence for a long beat.

MILES
Or?

Lionel laughs.

(CONTINUED)

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33 CONTINUED: (2) 33

LIONEL
C'mon.

Miles just keeps grinning.

Lionel, Blanc, Peg, Claire and even Andi's jaws drop and
they step towards the painting in a trance.

LIONEL (cont'd)
That's impossible Miles -

Miles hits a red BUTTON on a pedestal and with a distinct
SHHHTINK the glass case slides away, leaving the Mona Lisa
open and exposed in all her glory.

Everyone is awestruck.

BLANC
Forgive my incredulity, but it's
property of the state, there's no way
they would -

MILES
Blame it on the pando Blanc. Louvre
is closed, France needs money and so
I bought myself a little short term
loan. You know it turns out the
security and transport cost more than
anything. Check this out.

He takes a silver lighter from his pocket and clicks it - an
eight inch long blue flame spears out above his pipe.

And though he's a good distance back, the protective glass
INTANTLY SHHHTINKs back into place. Miles laughs. With his
flame still lit he hits the red button, and the glass re-
opens.

MILES (cont'd)
Don't tell the insurance guys, but I
had an over-ride button put in. Where
do you think it is?

Miles pushes down on a figurine of a little jester boy.

It's so freakin sensitive, a phone
dings and it closes up. But I had to
be able to look in her eyes, nothing
between us. My mom took me to Paris
when I was six years old. When I
looked in this lady's eyes, it
changed my life.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

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33 CONTINUED: (3) 33
MILES (cont'd)
You know Da Vinci invented a
technique for brushstrokes that
leaves no lines? That's how her
expression changes when you look
straight at her, try it. Her smile
disappears. Is she happy? Sad?
Something else? This simple thing you
thought you were looking at takes on
layers and depth so complex they give
you vertigo.

Andi stares deeply into her eyes. Caught up in spite of
herself.

ANDI
It really is something.

In the background Derol walks by in a bathrobe eating
cereal. Nods to the painting.

DEROL
Classic. Hey. I'm not here.

Claire has realized something.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Intriguing, Suspenseful, Mysterious, Dramatic

Summary Miles reveals a framed print of the Mona Lisa, teasing his guests with the possibility of its authenticity. As Andi enters the room, he unveils the real painting behind protective glass, leaving everyone in awe. He explains that he purchased the painting on a short-term loan due to the Louvre's closure and France's financial needs, demonstrating its authenticity through its sensitivity to external stimuli. Andi is particularly drawn to the painting's beauty, while Derol makes a brief appearance, requesting to be ignored.

Strengths

Intriguing concept of unveiling the Mona Lisa in a private compound
Tense and mysterious interactions between the characters
Compelling blend of art, mystery, and drama

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly expository or on-the-nose
Character motivations and relationships could be further developed

General Critique

The scene starts with Miles offering Andi a drink, which creates a tense atmosphere as Andi's presence sends a chill through the room.
The interaction between Claire and Miles regarding the Mona Lisa painting feels forced and lacks depth. The dialogue about the painting being like a dorm room poster seems out of place and doesn't add much to the scene.
Miles hitting the red button to reveal the real Mona Lisa behind the protective glass is a dramatic moment, but the explanation for how he acquired the painting feels contrived and unrealistic.
The dialogue between Miles and Blanc about the painting being state property and the security concerns lacks authenticity and fails to create a sense of tension or intrigue.
Miles's explanation of the over-ride button and the sensitivity of the glass case feels overly elaborate and detracts from the impact of the moment.
The scene ends with a random interaction with Derol walking by in a bathrobe eating cereal, which feels disconnected from the rest of the scene and disrupts the flow of the narrative.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider revising the dialogue between Claire and Miles to make it more meaningful and reflective of their characters' dynamics.
Simplify the explanation for how Miles acquired the Mona Lisa painting to make it more believable and grounded in reality.
Focus on building tension and suspense during the reveal of the real Mona Lisa behind the glass case to enhance the impact of the moment.
Streamline the dialogue between Miles and Blanc to make it more engaging and relevant to the central conflict of the scene.
Avoid unnecessary details and explanations that detract from the core emotional beats of the scene.
Consider removing the random interaction with Derol at the end of the scene to maintain the focus on the main narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

CLAIRE
You know every time we've gotten to
the point I am going to strangle you,
you pull something like this and it's
magic. Thank you.

MILES
Look it all started with her. What'd
I say to you guys, that first night
we all hung out at the Glass Onion?
What did I say? I want to be
responsible for something that gets
mentioned in the same breath as the
Mona Lisa, forever.

BLANC
And what does that mean?

BIRDIE
It means immortality, he wants to
create something that will -

CLAIRE
Wait a minute Miles. Why do you have
the Mona Lisa in your living room?

Then raises a closed fist, and looks at Andi.

(CONTINUED)

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33 CONTINUED: (4) 33

MILES
In one week I have invited a dozen
world leaders and members of the
press to this island. And right here
I will unveil the future.

Miles opens his fist. In his palm: a milk white crystal
about the size of a quarter.

MILES (cont'd)
Do you know what this is?

LIONEL
You know damn well we do. What's
going on?

BLANC
I don't.

Miles tosses the crystal to Blanc.

MILES
That's a new solid hydrofuel,
radically efficient, zero carbon
emissions, derived from abundant sea
water. I call it KLEAR, with a "K."
And at this event we will announce
KLEAR America, our affordable home
power solution, KLEAR is going to be
powering people's dreams all over
this country by the end of this year.

Lionel sets his drink down sharply. At its "CLACK" the glass
SHHHHTICKs down in front of the Mona Lisa.

LIONEL
No. No. Because I was clear with you.
I told you, I need two years minimum
to test the stuff and even see if
this stuff is safe or even viable,
Claire and I are NOT going to be
responsible for putting something out
in the world before it is tested...oh
no...

Lionel has clocked Miles's steady grin. Miles gestures
grandly all around him.

MILES
Oh yeah.

LIONEL
No.

(CONTINUED)

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48.
33 CONTINUED: (5) 33

BLANC
You're running this entire place off
this?

MILES
All of it, all this awesome lighting,
the heating and the cooling, right
down to my fax machine, the whole
glass onion, it's all powered by
Klear.

Lionel and Claire suddenly look like they're standing on
very thin ice.

CLAIRE
Oh my god Miles...

MILES
Guys we did it.

LIONEL
I'm out. Done. This is reckless, and
you are going to get somebody killed.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Confrontational

Summary Miles unveils his plan to introduce KLEAR, a solid hydrofuel, to the world. Lionel expresses skepticism and withdraws his support, citing safety concerns. Claire becomes worried about the potential consequences.

Strengths

Intense dialogue
Innovative concept of KLEAR
High stakes and conflict

Weaknesses

Some characters' reactions may feel rushed or underdeveloped

General Critique

The scene starts with a strong emotional reaction from Claire, expressing gratitude towards Miles for his magical ability to surprise them.
Miles reveals his grand plan to unveil a new solid hydrofuel, KLEAR, to world leaders and the press on the island, emphasizing its efficiency and environmental benefits.
There is tension and conflict as Lionel expresses his concerns about the safety and viability of KLEAR, stating that he needs more time to test it before releasing it to the public.
Miles showcases the power of KLEAR by revealing that the entire Glass Onion, including lighting, heating, cooling, and even his fax machine, is powered by this new technology.
The scene ends with Claire and Lionel realizing the potential dangers of Miles's reckless actions, with Lionel deciding to walk away from the situation.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more depth to the characters' reactions and emotions to further engage the audience.
Provide more context or background information on KLEAR to help the audience understand its significance and potential impact.
Explore the conflict between Miles and Lionel further, delving into their differing perspectives on the safety and responsibility of introducing new technology.
Enhance the dialogue to reflect the escalating tension and stakes of the scene, especially during the confrontation between Lionel and Miles.
Consider adding visual elements or actions to enhance the scene and create a more immersive experience for the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES
You're not getting out, it's already
happening. Love you. Let's eat.

He ambles off towards the dining room area. Duke enters with
Whiskey trailing behind him. Aggressive energy, looks
ruefully at Miles walking off.

34 INT. DINING AREA - MINUTES LATER 34

Our gang seated at their plates, which are elaborately
embossed with their names. Claire and Lionel look sick.
Birdie and Peg look sullen. Duke looks furious, especially
because the place settings have Whiskey seated next to
Miles.

Blanc and Andi have been added in at the end, next to each
other.

MILES
Okay gang. It's been a memorable
weekend, already. And now the real
fun starts. We've got three days we
will be basking in the sun, the pool,
swim in the Ionian Sea, great food
and wine and each other's company.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

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49.
34 CONTINUED: 34
MILES (cont'd)
But alongside and underneath the
party, you've been charged with a
serious task. Because tonight, in
this very room, a murder will be
committed. My murder. You will have
to observe the crime carefully, use
your knowledge of each other, and
keep your eyes sharp - I've planted
clues throughout the grounds. Some
may be helpful. Some may misdirect.
It's up to you to decide. If by the
end of the weekend somebody is able
to name the murderer, tell how they
accomplished it and what their motive
was, you will win the game! Any
questions?

Blanc with child-like excitement:

BLANC
What do we win?

Everyone looks at him. Miles is caught of guard.

MILES
I - what do you mean what do you -
what do you want?

BLANC
Oh no. Nothing. I thought maybe there
was a prize or something. I don't
know. An iPad, or.

MILES
Fine, winner gets an iPad, ok.

DUKE
Once you're dead will we still be
able to talk to you?

MILES
Oh yeah, I'm not playing dead the
whole weekend, ask me anything you
want but don't expect help from me.

BLANC
I don't actually need an iPad, I
just, when you said "win" it made me
think

BIRDIE
Can we work together?

(CONTINUED)

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50.
34 CONTINUED: (2) 34

MILES
Only one person can solve the crime.
So if you have a theory keep it close
to your chest. It is designed to be
hard, it will take the whole weekend.

BLANC
Truly delightful. Have we started
already?

MILES
Well the murder hasn't happened yet
but yeah -

BLANC
Ok. Ok ok.

Miles raises his glass.

MILES
Why not as Watson said to Holmes -

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Mysterious, Tense, Dramatic, Intriguing

Summary Miles announces that a murder will take place that evening and challenges the group to solve it. He offers an iPad as a prize to the winner, and encourages them to keep their theories to themselves. The group is uneasy, but Blanc is excited about the game.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Intriguing plot twists
High tension and suspense

Weaknesses

Some characters may need more development
Certain plot elements may feel contrived

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, making it feel disjointed.
The dialogue feels a bit forced and lacks depth, especially in the interaction between Blanc and Miles regarding the prize for solving the murder.
The introduction of the murder mystery element feels abrupt and could benefit from more build-up and tension.
The characters' reactions to the announcement of the murder game seem unrealistic and lack emotional depth.
The scene could benefit from more subtlety and nuance in the interactions between the characters.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition from the previous scene to create a more cohesive flow.
Work on developing more natural and engaging dialogue that reflects the characters' personalities and motivations.
Build up the suspense and tension surrounding the murder mystery element to make it more impactful.
Focus on adding depth and complexity to the characters' reactions to the announcement of the murder game.
Explore opportunities to add subtlety and nuance to the interactions between the characters to create a more engaging scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BLANC
It was Birdie, who planted a remote
device on the crossbow in revenge for
you stealing her signature wren
diamond.

Blanc grins broadly with a "did I get it?" gesture. A beat
of silence. The smile on Miles's face calcifies and dies.

BLANC (cont'd)
See the seating arrangement, it
triangulates Birdie perfectly to that
thing -

A crystal suit of armor holding a working crossbow, leveled
at the dining table.

BLANC (cont'd)
- which is loaded with a dummy bolt
and aimed straight at Mr. Bron. I
believe close inspection will reveal
some sort of remote triggering
device, but more damning, that's a
vintage Jayhawk brand crossbow...
Jayhawk, Birdie Jay!
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

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51.
34 CONTINUED: (3) 34
BLANC (cont'd)
Of course there are other superfluous
and rather clumsy clues - the
hedgerows in the south garden spell
the letter B, her room is the sacral
chakra which is the one blocked by
guilt, blah blah blah, but the motive
yes, now the motive. On the cleverly
planted 1998 issue of The Face with
Birdie on the cover she famously wore
what became known as the "wren
diamond" - a family heirloom I
believe?

BIRDIE
And so to be clear, back then I
didn't even know what a "blood
diamond" was - so

But Blanc is on a mighty roll:

BLANC
Mr. Bron! The large pendulous locket
which has not left your neck, it's a
bit out of keeping with your breezy
island style... would you kindly open
it for us?

Staring daggers, Miles opens the silver locket, and a large
cut DIAMOND falls out into his palm. The table GASPS.

BIRDIE
My wren diamond!

BLANC
A dramatic, passionate and colorful
crime for a fashionista, Ms. Birdie.
But unfortunately this crime
clashed... with the presence of
Benoit Blanc.

With "nailed it" joy he turns to Miles and grins broadly.

Miles stares at him dead-eyed.

A little "whirr" from the crossbow prop, and a theatrical
crossbow bolt FLIPS UP from a slit in Miles's shirt with an
anticlimactic SNAP. Fake blood dribbles out.

The glass on the Mona Lisa SHHHTICKs shut.

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
52.

35 INT. THE GLASS ONION - EVENING 35

Miles's office in the center of the elevated glass
enclosure, with spectacular views in all directions.

Miles storms in, Blanc following him, still giddy.

BLANC
My god that felt so good, that just
felt solid. So satisfying. Just -
like a mini crossword, the Times
has - or - I have a chef friend, and
she speaks of trying to create the
perfect bite - that felt like the
perfect satisfying - bite sized...

Miles just stares, the crossbow bolt still protruding from
his chest. He picks up a loose iPad from his desk and tosses
it over to Blanc.

BLANC (cont'd)
You're angry.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intriguing, Tense

Summary Blanc unveils Birdie Jay's revenge plot, exposing her motive and evidence linking her to the crossbow attack. Miles remains silent, but a crossbow bolt and Mona Lisa's glass cover indicate an uncertain resolution.

Strengths

Intriguing plot twists
Sharp dialogue
Tense atmosphere
Clever resolution of the mystery

Weaknesses

Some elements may be overly complex for casual viewers
Limited character development for secondary characters

General Critique

The scene starts off strong with Blanc confidently accusing Birdie of planting a remote device on the crossbow, but the tension quickly dissipates when Miles' reaction is not as dramatic as expected.
Blanc's detailed explanation of the clues and motives feels a bit forced and overly elaborate, making the scene lose some of its impact.
The revelation of the wren diamond falling out of Miles' locket is a good twist, but the reaction from the characters could be more intense to heighten the suspense.
The anticlimactic moment of the fake blood and crossbow bolt popping out of Miles' shirt feels a bit contrived and doesn't have the desired impact.
Blanc's transition from the intense accusation to a lighthearted comparison to a crossword puzzle or a perfect bite feels out of place and disrupts the tension of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider building up the tension and suspense more effectively throughout the scene to create a stronger impact.
Streamline Blanc's explanation of the clues and motives to make it more concise and impactful.
Enhance the reactions of the characters to the revelation of the wren diamond to increase the emotional intensity of the scene.
Reconsider the execution of the fake blood and crossbow bolt reveal to make it more believable and impactful.
Maintain a consistent tone and focus on the tension and drama of the scene without introducing unrelated comparisons or distractions.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES
(angry)
No I'm not angry Blanc, but you know.
What the hell? This was not a simple
thing to do, to set up.
(getting angrier)
I hired Gillian Flynn to help come up
with the whole thing

BLANC
She's quite good

MILES
She's goddamn expensive, is what she
is! What are we going to do now, play
Yahtzee all weekend?

Blanc looks at Miles, and his demeanor changes, as if he's
now dropping an act.

BLANC
Mr. Bron, the truth is, I ruined your
game on purpose, and for a very good
reason.

Miles looks at him, curious. What is this?

(CONTINUED)

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53.
35 CONTINUED: 35

BLANC (cont'd)
I like the glass onion as a metaphor,
an object that seems densely layered,
but in reality the center is in plain
sight. Your relationships with these
people may seem complex but look at
the center, look at what you've done
this weekend, it's crystal clear:
you have taken seven people, each of
whom has a real life reason to wish
you harm, gathered them together on a
remote island, and placed the idea of
your murder in their heads. It's like
putting a loaded gun on the table and
turning off the lights.

MILES
Oh. Come. On.

BLANC
So you played hardball with Lionel.
Threatened to destroy his reputation
if he does not play along and power a
manned rocket with klear?

Miles looks at him solidly.

BLANC (cont'd)
And with Claire too? Perhaps you
threatened to support her opponent in
the upcoming election if she doesn't
approve your power plant?

MILES
You've done some homework.

BLANC
Birdie. Bangladesh. Sweetie Pants are
manufactured there, in a sweat shop.
You're making Birdie take the fall,
to cover your ass as the main
investor.
(beat)
And Duke. Well. We all know why Duke
wants to kill you.

MILES
He doesn't know about that.

BLANC
Yeeeeesss, he does.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

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54.
35 CONTINUED: (2) 35
BLANC (cont'd)
(beat)
Take my presence as a sign -
something is happening here beneath
the surface. For at least one person
on this island, this is not a game.

Blanc spots a frame on the wall - mounted inside are two
objects on red backing:

A faded NAPKIN with a simple diagram drawn on it in pen

And a POLAROID PICTURE of Miles and Andi, ten years younger,
holding the napkin (though it's blown out by the flash) in a
bar. Flanking them is a young Duke, Lionel, Claire and
Birdie. Above them all a neon sign: "THE GLASS ONION"

BLANC (cont'd)
This is the famous napkin? I've heard
this story.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Confrontational, Revealing

Summary Miles confronts Blanc about ruining his game, but Blanc reveals he did so intentionally because he believes Miles has endangered everyone by inviting them to the island. Blanc accuses Miles of blackmailing Lionel and Claire and being responsible for Duke's desire to kill him, which Miles denies. Blanc notices a framed napkin that inspired Miles' game.

Strengths

Intense dialogue
Revealing character dynamics
High stakes
Complex plot twists

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly expository
Complexity of motives may be hard to follow for some viewers

General Critique

The scene starts with Miles expressing anger, but the transition to Blanc revealing his true intentions feels abrupt and could be smoother.
Blanc's monologue about the Glass Onion metaphor and the relationships between the characters is a bit heavy-handed and could benefit from more subtlety.
The dialogue feels a bit expository and could be more natural and conversational to enhance the realism of the scene.
The revelation of Miles' manipulative actions and the potential motives of the other characters is intriguing, but the delivery could be more engaging to create a stronger impact.
The scene ends with the reveal of the famous napkin and Polaroid picture, which adds an interesting layer to the mystery but could be integrated more seamlessly into the dialogue.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider building up the tension and conflict between Miles and Blanc more gradually to create a more suspenseful and engaging reveal.
Find ways to convey Blanc's insights about the characters' motives in a more subtle and nuanced manner to avoid coming across as too on-the-nose.
Work on refining the dialogue to make it sound more natural and reflective of how real people would speak in such a high-stakes situation.
Enhance the emotional impact of Blanc's accusations and revelations by adding more depth and complexity to the interactions between the characters.
Integrate the reveal of the famous napkin and Polaroid picture more organically into the conversation to ensure a seamless flow of information and intrigue.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES
I scribbled down the original idea
for Alpha on that napkin. That night
with Andi, at the Glass Onion. That
was our local bar, that's where it
all began. They tore it down the year
after that.

Andi's smiling face in the photo. Blanc, with weight:

MILES (cont'd)
Oh Andi.

BLANC
Yes. Andi.

MILES
Andi used to tell me the truth.
Nobody does that now. Nobody does.
It's all fake smiles and agendas,
people wanting what they think
they're owed. Hating you for not
giving it to them, cause that's what
you're there for. I know. Hard to
have sympathy for the poor tortured
billionaire.

The gang in the photo, smiling, flash-lit, one moment.

MILES (cont'd)
God. I miss that bar.

Blanc can see Miles going to a sad, dark place.

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55.

36 INT. LOUNGE AREA - NIGHT 36

Miles's empty whiskey tumbler on the table. Claire stares at
it. Everyone is drinking heavily, their plates of finished
dinner casually on the coffee table. Music plays.

Duke's phone (on the coffee table) DINGS with an alert, and
the Mona Lisa SHHHTICKs shut.

LIONEL
You could just power down.

DUKE
It's my goog alerts, I've got one for
all you guys, Whiskey, sports I like.
General interests.

DING! SHHHHTICK. Lionel looks at Duke's phone.

LIONEL
You have a google alert for the word
"movie?"

Birdie sashays back from the bar cart with a fresh Cuban
Breeze.

BIRDIE
Well god bless Benoit Blanc, we don't
have to spend the weekend spelling
hedges.

DUKE
I'm leaving. In the morning.

WHISKEY
We just got here

DUKE
You can stay. Have fun.

WHISKEY
Fine. You're murdering my vibe.

DING. SHHHTICK.

LIONEL
I hate saying this in any context but
I'm with Duke.

Claire's phone rings - DEVON (her husband.) She ignores it.

(CONTINUED)

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56.
36 CONTINUED: 36

BIRDIE
Or we can all get drunk and enjoy
paradise for a weekend.

PEG
Maybe we should go too -

BIRDIE
No. Miserable in paradise. We've all
earned this.

ANDI
Yes you have.

This chills the air. But Claire stares back hard at her,
angry-drunk.

CLAIRE
Are we even going to talk about the
elephant in the room? Are we just
gonna toss a tablecloth over it and
make it through the weekend?

Uncomfortable silence.

ANDI
Am I the elephant?

CLAIRE
Yes you're the elephant.

BIRDIE
(aside)
You're not that bad.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Confrontational, Reflective, Sarcastic

Summary Miles reminisces about the Glass Onion bar where he conceived Alpha with Andi. He expresses his longing for the past and laments the lack of genuineness in the present, leaving Blanc concerned about his emotional well-being.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Revealing character dynamics
Mystery element

Weaknesses

Some characters' motives may be unclear at times

General Critique

The scene starts with Miles reminiscing about the past and expressing his longing for the truth and authenticity that he feels is lacking in the present. This sets a reflective and melancholic tone for the scene.
Miles's monologue about Andi and the truth she used to tell him provides insight into his character and his feelings of isolation and disillusionment with the people around him.
The dialogue between Miles and Blanc reveals Miles's cynicism towards people's motives and his sense of being misunderstood and unappreciated.
The tension in the scene is palpable as Claire confronts Andi about being the 'elephant in the room,' leading to an uncomfortable silence and a sense of unresolved conflict.
The scene effectively sets up the dynamics between the characters, highlighting their individual perspectives and conflicts within the group.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual elements to enhance the emotional impact of Miles's reminiscence, such as flashbacks or visual cues that reflect his nostalgia.
Explore deeper into Miles's character by delving into his past with Andi and how it has shaped his current outlook on life and relationships.
Provide more context for Claire's anger towards Andi and the unresolved conflict between them to add depth to their interactions.
Consider incorporating more subtext and subtle cues to convey the underlying tensions and dynamics between the characters in the scene.
Focus on building up the suspense and anticipation of the upcoming events by foreshadowing the conflicts and resolutions that will unfold.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

LIONEL
What did you come here for Andi?
Given the circumstances I think
that's a fair question.

ANDI
Fair.

CLAIRE
Oh god yes no fine, nothing is fair
about any of this, congratulations,
now you know. And we all stuck with
Miles, what do you want, you want to
know why we did it? Why? Really? Do
the math! It's easy math. And you,
here in your Gucci flats

(CONTINUED)

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36 CONTINUED: (2) 36

BIRDIE
Valentino

CLAIRE
Telling us we owe you. You made money
off Alpha all those years, you did
fine, you got yours!

ANDI
I got - no he get his! From me! My
life was taken from me by someone, by
everyone here - my life! Do you even
know what that means?

BIRDIE
What Claire's saying is we're all
sorry and feel bad for you but...
what do you want?

ANDI
Are you really asking me that?

CLAIRE
Yes! What do you want? You want a
check? Performative pity, are there
some right words for us to say so we
can all get on with our lives? You
want revenge, slit Miles's throat,
take us all down, what? Drop your
bombshell! Say it!

ANDI
I want the truth.

DING. SHHHTICK.

ANDI (cont'd)
I want the truth.

DUKE
I can give you that. I'll be the
asshole. The truth is we're all
holding onto that golden tit, we're
all playing the same game here honey.
And you lost. Go on, get up on your
cross, you had some unspeakable crime
committed against you that none of us
could ever imagine, go on. I'm done
pretending you're the victim in this
game. No, you just couldn't hack it.
You're the loser. There. The truth.

(CONTINUED)

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58.
36 CONTINUED: (3) 36

He stares Andi down. She looks around at the others. They
all avoid her gaze.

She lowers her eyes. And walks out.

DUKE (cont'd)
There's the Andi I know!

DING. SHHHTICK.

He picks up his phone and buries himself in it angrily.

Miles and Blanc breeze in.

MILES
Oh jeez detective, your next
assignment is who killed this party?
I'm gone for ten minutes, what
happened? C'mon guys!

He puts on some music and starts dancing. Claire goes to the
bar cart.

CLAIRE
Excuse me.

MILES
Blanc ruined my game, it's okay. Hey
Alpha DJ give us something upbeat.

LIONEL
Miles, I'm going to leave in the
morning.

CLAIRE
Me too.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Confrontational, Emotional, Defiant

Summary Lionel confronts Andi about her motives for coming to the party, while Claire and Birdie express frustration with her entitlement. Duke accuses Andi of being a loser, leading to a tense confrontation. Andi demands the truth, but Miles and Blanc interrupt before she can get it. The scene ends with Andi walking out of the party, leaving the group behind.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Emotional depth
Tension and suspense
Character development

Weaknesses

Some characters' motivations may need further clarification

General Critique

The dialogue in this scene is intense and confrontational, which adds to the tension and drama of the moment. However, it can be a bit heavy-handed and on-the-nose at times, lacking subtlety in conveying the characters' emotions and motivations.
The characters' reactions and responses feel a bit forced and melodramatic, especially Andi's outburst and the others' defensive and accusatory responses. The scene could benefit from more nuanced and realistic interactions to make the emotions and conflicts more authentic.
The scene lacks depth in exploring the characters' inner conflicts and motivations. While there is a lot of verbal confrontation and accusations, there is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the characters' backstories and emotional complexities.
The pacing of the scene feels a bit rushed, with the characters quickly moving from one emotional beat to another without allowing the tension and drama to build organically. Slowing down the pace and adding more moments of silence or reflection could enhance the impact of the dialogue and character interactions.
The scene could benefit from more subtext and layers of meaning in the dialogue and character interactions. Adding subtle hints and nuances to the characters' words and actions can create a more engaging and multi-dimensional scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider revising the dialogue to make it more nuanced and realistic, focusing on subtext and underlying emotions rather than direct confrontation.
Explore the characters' inner conflicts and motivations in more depth, allowing for moments of vulnerability and introspection to add complexity to the scene.
Work on the pacing of the scene to allow for moments of tension and release, building up to the emotional climax gradually for a more impactful resolution.
Add layers of meaning and subtext to the dialogue and character interactions, creating a more engaging and dynamic scene that invites the audience to read between the lines.
Consider incorporating moments of silence and reflection to allow the characters and audience to process the emotional intensity of the scene, adding depth and resonance to the dialogue and interactions.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES
No, no you are not. You're going to
have a champagne brunch on the beach
and try hydro-foil surfing. Claire
you're going to put some aloe on
that, work on that tan so your
constituents aren't saying what was
she doing in lock down. C'mon guys!
Dance with me pretty lady.

Birdie reluctantly joins him. Blanc watches all this,
strangely alert.

BLANC
Where's Andi?

(CONTINUED)

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59.
36 CONTINUED: (4) 36

MILES
Yeah where is Andi? And Duke - look
at that face, Duke, what'd you get
some good news?

Duke is indeed grinning levelly at Miles. He motions to his
phone.

DUKE
I wondered why my googs were blowing
up. Reviews on my channel are off the
charts. You've gotta see this.

Miles sashays over and Duke shows him his phone.

DUKE (cont'd)
This is all over the internet. Look
at those numbers. Pure fire.

SHHHHTICK!

DUKE (cont'd)
This changes things right?

MILES
It sure does.

BIRDIE
Dukie that's amazing! Lemme see!

She goes to him but he's on his feet, eyes locked on Miles.

DUKE
Numbers like this, maybe we can talk
Alpha News?

Miles goes to the bar cart and fixes a drink, hips swinging

MILES
I think we can. You see? Everything
works out in the end you've just got
to keep the faith

He dances and spreads his arms for Lionel and Claire.

MILES (cont'd)
Guys, have I ever let you down? Not
pulled through, not pulled it off.
You are staying, yes? You're staying
okay.

LIONEL
Alright Miles. You win.

(CONTINUED)

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60.
36 CONTINUED: (5) 36

CLAIRE
Yeah.

Miles sits next to Duke.

MILES
Well alright this is our time! What
did we used to say, fake it until you
make it, we are all changing the
world all of us. Making dents in our
own ways. Five minutes ago Blanc here
was telling me this weekend was a
dumb idea, that you all hated my guts
so badly that - one of you would
actually wanna - it doesn't even
matter it is so silly. Look at that!
Birdie do that again, look at that
dress spin!

When Birdie does a spin, the dress shimmers and seems to
change color.

BIRDIE
Everybody Miles says look at meeee!

MILES
I wanna toast. Let's drink to the
disruptors! The OGs.

Duke stands, drink in hand.

DUKE
To the disruptors! Breakin it and
making it!

Everyone raises their glasses and drinks.

BIRDIE
Turn up the music, we're all ending
up in the pool tonight!

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Suspenseful, Light-hearted, Dramatic, Exciting

Summary Miles convinces Birdie to dance, while Blanc watches curiously and asks about Andi's whereabouts. Duke shows Miles positive reviews for his YouTube channel, leading to a discussion about a potential deal with Alpha News. Miles celebrates their success and encourages them to stay for the weekend. After Birdie shows off her dress, Miles gives a toast to the "disruptors," which Duke and the others join in on.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Intriguing plot developments
Character revelations
Mix of suspense and humor

Weaknesses

Some moments may feel rushed
Character motivations could be further explored

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of direction or purpose, with characters engaging in random activities and conversations that don't contribute to the overall plot.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, with characters making abrupt transitions between topics without proper build-up or context.
The interactions between the characters lack depth and emotional resonance, making it difficult for the audience to connect with them or care about their actions.
The scene fails to build tension or suspense, missing an opportunity to create a compelling and engaging narrative for the audience.
There is a lack of conflict or stakes in the scene, resulting in a flat and uninteresting exchange between the characters.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on developing a clear objective or goal for the scene that aligns with the overall story arc and character motivations.
Streamline the dialogue to make it more natural and engaging, with meaningful exchanges that reveal character dynamics and advance the plot.
Add depth to the interactions between the characters by exploring their relationships, conflicts, and emotions in a more nuanced and authentic way.
Introduce elements of tension, suspense, or conflict to create a sense of urgency and intrigue that keeps the audience invested in the scene.
Consider revising the scene to ensure that every interaction, line of dialogue, and action serves a purpose in advancing the story and developing the characters.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES
That's what I'm talking about!

Lionel's smile has vanished

LIONEL
Miles...

MILES
On your feet genius!

Claire stands in horror

(CONTINUED)

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61.
36 CONTINUED: (6) 36

CLAIRE
Miles - Duke!

They all turn - Duke grasps at his throat, staggering, his
face purple. For a horrible moment nobody moves.

Duke drops his crystal tumbler and falls to his knees.

Whiskey SCREAMS.

Pandemonium erupts. Everyone scrambling, trying to help -
Lionel lays the convulsing Duke on his back, Blanc reaches
into his mouth to clear his airway.

CLAIRE BIRDIE
Is he choking?! Get him water! Give him air!

BLANC MILES
No he's not choking Duke buddy!

Duke's eyes bulge beet red, his chest heaves up in a final
horrible convulsion and then, very suddenly, stops. Frozen,
eyes open.

Lionel tries chest compressions and mouth to mouth, but
everyone backs away, somehow aware that it's over.

Whiskey throws herself on Duke as Lionel backs off, in
shock. Blanc checks Duke's pulse. Nothing.

BLANC
I'm afraid, Mr. Cody is dead.

PEG
What the hell just happened?!

BIRDIE
Oh my god oh my god

CLAIRE
What happened? Did he choke on
something, what happened?

BLANC
There was no obstruction in his
airway. We won't know the exact cause
of death without an autopsy but...
Mr. Bron will you call your boat and
have them come immediately? Mr. Bron?

Miles has sunk into a chair and looks catatonic, just
staring at Duke, in shock.

(CONTINUED)

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62.
36 CONTINUED: (7) 36

LIONEL
I'll do it - how do I do it?

MILES
(murmurs)
There's a...a...Radio room, through
there

BLANC
Tell them we need medical personnel
and police.

Lionel dashes off. Blanc pulls Whiskey gently away from
Duke's body. She breaks down in sobs and slips out.

BLANC (cont'd)
I must insist that nobody touch the
body or disturb anything around it.

MILES
Wait - police?

MILES (cont'd)
Are you - are you treating this as a
crime scene?

CLAIRE
Oh my god I can't be here, this is
bad - I can see the headlines

PEG
The police always come, it's standard

CLAIRE
Jetting off to Greece during a
pandemic with a men's rights you-
tuber who dies oh GOD I'm gonna puke

MILES
No no no Blanc - are you saying you
think this was intentional?

BLANC
I don't know.
(beat)
But Mr Cody's death was so acute and
violent, my guess would be something
was put in his drink. Intentionally.

A beat while this sinks in.

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63.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Shocking, Intense, Dramatic

Summary Miles is excited, Lionel is worried, Claire is horrified, and Duke suddenly grasps at his throat, falls to his knees, and convulses before dying. Lionel tries CPR, but it's no use, and Blanc confirms that Duke is dead. Blanc suggests calling the police, and Miles is shocked and questions if this is being treated as a crime scene. Blanc explains that Duke's death was sudden and violent, leading him to suspect that something was intentionally put in his drink.

Strengths

Intense and suspenseful atmosphere
Compelling plot twist
Strong emotional impact on characters and audience

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly melodramatic or cliché

General Critique

The scene starts with a sudden and shocking event of Duke grasping at his throat and collapsing, which creates a sense of chaos and panic among the characters. This sudden turn of events is effective in grabbing the audience's attention and creating tension.
The reactions of the characters, such as Claire's horror, Whiskey's scream, and the frantic attempts to help Duke, are well portrayed and add to the intensity of the scene.
Blanc's calm and collected demeanor in the face of the crisis provides a contrast to the chaos unfolding around him, highlighting his role as a rational and composed figure in the group.
The dialogue and actions of the characters effectively convey the sense of confusion, shock, and urgency in response to Duke's sudden death, creating a sense of suspense and mystery surrounding the cause of his demise.
The scene effectively sets up the mystery and intrigue surrounding Duke's death, leaving the audience with questions and a desire to know more about what happened.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from the characters to provide deeper insight into their emotions and motivations in response to Duke's death.
Explore the possibility of incorporating subtle clues or hints that foreshadow the eventual revelation of the cause of Duke's death, adding layers to the mystery and intrigue.
Enhance the pacing of the scene by balancing the moments of chaos and panic with quieter, more reflective moments that allow the audience to process the events unfolding.
Consider building up the tension and suspense leading up to Duke's death by introducing subtle hints or red herrings that keep the audience guessing about the true cause of his demise.
Further develop the aftermath of Duke's death by exploring the emotional impact on the characters and delving into the repercussions of this tragic event on the group dynamics and relationships.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

37 INT. RADIO ROOM - CONTINUOUS 37

Lionel on a sleek communications computer tied to the
mainland, he speaks to the boat captain, Mr. Andino.

LIONEL
Whadayamean morning, that's - how is
that possible??

ANDINO (ON RADIO)
Pee-cha-chite! Dock pee-cha-chite!

LIONEL
(dawning)
Peesh - of - shite. Oh.

38 INT. LOUNGE AREA 38

Lionel runs in.

LIONEL
The boat can't come till low tide.
In the morning. Six am at the
earliest.

CLAIRE BLANC
What?! Did you explain the
situation?

LIONEL
There's no other landing point and
Miles's dumb-ass Banksy dock was set
to low tide height and it isn't
buoyant. It's a piece of shit.

BLANC
Alright. I suggest we all retire to
our rooms and keep the doors locked
until five thirty, when we will
convene here and walk together to the
dock. I will stay up all night with
the body to make sure it isn't
tampered with in any way, I'd
recommend everyone get some sleep.

As Blanc is saying this, Miles looks at Claire placing a
blanket over Duke's contorted face.

Then he sees something else.

The sound in the room goes fuzzy. His peripheral vision
blurs. Everything focuses on one object and what it means.

(CONTINUED)

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38 CONTINUED: 38

The crystal tumbler that Duke drank from and dropped. On the
floor by his hand.

The name beautifully etched in its side:

"MILES"

MILES
Ohhhhhhh that is...

Miles points in horror, and everyone looks.

BIRDIE
That's... your glass. Miles.

Blanc kneels, looks at the tumbler. Then looks back at
Miles, who barely breathes:

MILES
He... he must have... he picked it up
by mistake...

FLASHBACK - As Miles cheers on Birdie spinning in her dress,
Duke reaches without looking for his glass and grabs Miles's
instead.

BACK TO SCENE - Miles looks at the faces around the room,
like a frightened child.

Instinctively he moves behind Blanc, as if for protection.

BLANC
Mr. Bron...

LIONEL
Miles, come on now...

CLAIRE
Miles it's us.

BIRDIE
Miles baby, for real?

A beat, looking them all over, and then to Blanc:

MILES
I will pay you one billion dollars to
find who tried to kill me.

EVERYONE
(come ON)
Miles!

(CONTINUED)

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38 CONTINUED: (2) 38

DING! SHHHHTICK. Blanc sighs, weary.

BLANC
I'm just going to silence his phone.

When he steps away from Miles, Miles moves behind the sofa.

MILES
We're staying right here in this
room, I'm keeping you all in plain
sight until that boat comes.

LIONEL
For godssakes Miles -

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Tense, Dramatic, Mysterious

Summary Upon discovering Duke's tumbler with his name etched on it, Miles accuses the group of attempting to kill him. Blanc suggests retiring to their rooms, but Miles insists they remain together. Meanwhile, the boat's arrival is delayed until low tide, and Lionel warns that Miles's dock is not viable.

Strengths

Building tension
Revealing crucial evidence
Complex character dynamics
High stakes

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly forced or melodramatic

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the shocking death of Duke in the previous scene.
The dialogue feels a bit flat and lacks emotional depth, especially given the gravity of the situation.
There is a missed opportunity to explore the characters' reactions and emotions further, particularly Miles' guilt and the group's suspicion.
The visual cues, such as Miles pointing out the tumbler with his name on it, could be more impactful and symbolic to enhance the tension in the scene.
Blanc's response to Miles offering a billion dollars to find the culprit feels underwhelming and could be more dramatic.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Add more emotional depth to the dialogue and interactions between the characters to reflect the seriousness of the situation.
Consider incorporating more visual cues and symbolism to heighten the tension and suspense in the scene.
Explore the characters' internal conflicts and motivations, especially Miles' guilt and the group's suspicion, to add layers to the scene.
Increase the sense of urgency and stakes by emphasizing the potential danger and mistrust among the characters.
Enhance Blanc's response to Miles' offer of a billion dollars to find the culprit to create a more impactful moment.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES
Wait where's Whiskey?
(oh NO)
Where's Andi!?

He spins as if afraid someone's behind him, jumpy and
petrified.

BLANC
Where's Duke's phone?

PEG
It just dinged, we heard it

BLANC
But it... it isn't in his pockets...

PEG
Maybe he dropped it somewhere, if it
dings again we'll find it.

Lionel steps forward gravely, points.

LIONEL
Forget his phone, look.

Blanc lifts Duke's jacket. His hip holster... empty.

BIRDIE
Where's his stupid gun?

BLANC
Oh fiddle sticks.
(suddenly very afraid)
When did his gun disappears?

LIONEL
He always has his gun.

(CONTINUED)

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38 CONTINUED: (3) 38

BLANC
He always has it, which means we
stopped seeing it, but at some point
this evening it was gone. We need to
find Andi.

Miles goes into full panic mode, scampering around the room
trying to take cover in a wide open space.

A distant DONG. SHHHHTICK. Miles jumps a foot.

BLANC (cont'd)
Mr Bron, It's alright - it's just the
Phillip Glass thing.

If it's possible, Miles grows three shades more ashen.

MILES
Oh no.

Checks his watch - 10pm.

MILES (cont'd)
Oh no oh no oh SHIT oh no NO NO!

CLAIRE
Miles calm down!

BLANC
Mr. Bron! What's the matter?

Miles grabs Blanc's lapel, full panic, babbling -

MILES
It was part of the game, it was the
game, the murder game, we were going
to be having drinks and I thought it
would be fun to say something
dramatic just at ten o'clock and then
have twenty minutes where oh god
Blanc help help help help

Blanc SLAPS him firmly.

BLANC
What happens at ten o'clock?

With a hollow SNAP, every light in the entire complex SHUTS
OFF, plunging the atrium into total darkness.

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39 EXT. THE GLASS ONION - NIGHT 39

The entire complex goes dark. A moment later, the island's
lighthouse SWEEPS its hard white light across the grounds.

40 INT. ATRIUM - NIGHT 40

Pitch black, just splinters of shapes from the moonlit
windows.

The white light of the lighthouse SWEEPS the room, and like
a strobe light catching a single frame of a tableau, we see
Miles on his knees, arms wrapped around Blanc's legs,
everyone else scattered around the room...

MILES
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Then all is black again. We hear voices in the dark -

CLAIRE
Lionel!

LIONEL
I'm here!

DING! SHHHHTICK

BIRDIE
Ah! Peg is that you?

PEG
No I'm here, where's my phone it has
a flashlight -

Above it all Miles whimpering in a panicked whine

MILES
I gotta - I can't be -

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Panic-stricken, Mysterious, Dark

Summary Miles discovers Andi and Whiskey missing, along with Duke's gun. Blanc orders everyone to stay put, but the lights suddenly go out, plunging them into darkness.

Strengths

Building tension and suspense
Creating a sense of mystery and danger
Engaging dialogue that conveys panic and fear

Weaknesses

Some characters' reactions may be repetitive or predictable

General Critique

The scene starts with a sense of panic and confusion, which is effectively conveyed through the characters' actions and dialogue.
There is a good use of tension and suspense as the characters realize that Duke's gun is missing and Miles is in a state of panic.
The sudden blackout and the lighthouse sweeping light add to the eerie atmosphere of the scene.
Blanc's firm slap to Miles adds a moment of clarity and control amidst the chaos.
The scene effectively builds up to a cliffhanger with the lights shutting off completely, leaving the characters and the audience in suspense.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual descriptions to enhance the sense of darkness and confusion during the blackout.
Provide more context or hints about the 'Phillip Glass thing' to add depth to the scene.
Explore the characters' reactions and interactions further to deepen the tension and suspense.
Consider adding more layers to Miles' panic and babbling to make his character more dynamic and engaging.
Continue to build on the mystery and suspense leading up to the blackout to keep the audience engaged and intrigued.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BLANC
Everybody calm down! Stand still! Do
not panic!

With the next FLASH of light Whiskey stumbles in, holding
(for some reason) a SPEAR FISHING GUN.

WHISKEY
IT WAS ANDI! SHE KILLED DUKE AND TORE
OUR ROOM APART! I SAW HER!

(CONTINUED)

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40 CONTINUED: 40

LIONEL
WHAT?

Miles shrieks:

MILES
NOT TODAY!

And RUNS.

BLANC
Mr. Bron! Oh for hells bells -
Everybody STAY HERE!

Blanc dashes after him.

41 INT. HALLWAYS - NIGHT 41

Miles runs, stops, listening - eyes darting everywhere.

As the light SWEEPS the blackened hall, we see Miles in the
distance turn a corner. In the foreground: ANDI, spotting
him.

Somewhere far away:

BLANC (O.S.)
Andi!

She looks back at Blanc's voice as the light catches her.

42 INT. ATRIUM - NIGHT 42

In the darkness, Peg's phone flashlight comes on. Its weak
light doesn't pierce the vast space, but she waves it
around.

PEG
Bird I got it - Birdie? Lionel?

No one answers. The light sweeps the vast room - Peg is
alone.

PEG (cont'd)
Guys?

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43 INT. HALLWAYS - NIGHT 43

With Miles. Moving slowly in the darkness. Barely breathing.
LIGHT SWEEPS. Shadows in the hallway - hard to tell what
they are. He slows his breath, listening.

The darkness looms around him.

44 INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT 44

Blanc enters just as a dark shape exits.

BLANC
Who's that!?

No answer, footsteps pad away. Using his phone flashlight to
peer around, he spots the butcher's block on the kitchen
island. One knife obviously missing.

BLANC (cont'd)
Lord helps us.

The light sweeps, revealing a shadow of a running figure on
the wall. He turns - someone just ran past the window
outside.

45 EXT. GROUNDS - NIGHT 45

Blanc runs outside, turns - and is almost RUN OVER by the
running figure. Andi. In the jostle we think we hear:

BLANC
Hello!

Andi runs in to Blanc.

BLANC (cont'd)
Did you take Duke's gun?

ANDI
Why would I take Duke's gun? And why
are the lights -

BLANC
Duke is dead.

ANDI
What?!

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46 INT. HALL - NIGHT 46

Dark. Through the floor to ceiling windows we see but don't
hear Blanc and Andi, right outside, talking fast and low.

The light SWEEPS.

Revealing, held in the foreground by a gloved hand - DUKE'S
GUN.

In the darkness that follows, a shape moves. A silhouette,
silent against the moonlit window.

The figure raises an arm.

The shape of Duke's gun held out, steady.

The figure takes very careful aim at the two outside.

47 EXT. GROUNDS - CONTINUOUS 47

Blanc and Andi oblivious, the window pitch black behind
them.

ANDI
I don't understand -

BLANC
Please trust me, it's all in plain
sight, I only need one last piece of
information, and only you can -

BANG.

Several things happen at once.

The window behind them cracks like safety glass, splintering
out like a spider web from a central bullet hole.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Mysterious

Summary In the aftermath of a power outage, accusations fly and panic ensues. Whiskey accuses Andi of killing Duke, while Miles flees in terror. Blanc investigates and uncovers a missing knife, realizing Duke's demise. As he confronts Andi, a figure takes aim with Duke's gun, leaving the scene hanging in suspense.

Strengths

Building tension and suspense
Revealing shocking twists and revelations
Creating a sense of danger and urgency

Weaknesses

Some elements may be confusing or unclear to the audience

General Critique

The scene starts with a lot of chaos and confusion, which can be overwhelming for the audience. It might be beneficial to provide more context or clarity on what is happening.
The sudden introduction of a spear fishing gun by Whiskey feels random and out of place. It would be helpful to establish why she has this weapon and how it relates to the unfolding events.
The dialogue is a bit disjointed and could be more focused to convey the urgency and tension of the situation effectively.
There is a lack of visual description in the scene, making it challenging to visualize the setting and actions of the characters. Adding more visual cues can enhance the atmosphere and suspense of the scene.
The transition between different locations and characters is abrupt, leading to a fragmented narrative flow. Smooth transitions and clearer scene changes can improve the coherence of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider providing a brief recap or reminder of the key events leading up to this scene to help the audience understand the context better.
Clarify the presence of the spear fishing gun with a logical explanation or setup earlier in the script to make Whiskey's actions more believable.
Refine the dialogue to be more concise, impactful, and reflective of the characters' emotions and motivations in the scene.
Enhance the visual descriptions to paint a vivid picture of the surroundings, character movements, and important objects in the scene.
Smooth out the transitions between different locations and characters by establishing clear connections and continuity in the narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Andi's body flies out of frame as if hit by a hammer.

48 INT. THE GLASS ONION 48

In empty halls, rooms, the gunshot echoes and reverberates.

49 INT. ATRIUM 49

SHHHHTICK. The glass slides down over the Mona Lisa just as
the light sweeps over her. Linger on her enigmatic face.
Maybe smiling, maybe not, it's hard to tell.

(CONTINUED)

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49 CONTINUED: 49

We stay on it as we hear footsteps throughout the distant
halls, and echoey voices.

CLAIRE (O.S.)
Lionel!

BIRDIE (O.S.) LIONEL (O.S.)
Guys! Where are you? Did you I heard it, I'm here -
hear that?

PEG (O.S.) LIONEL (O.S.)
That sounded like Oh god Miles - who's seen
Miles, is he ok?

The sweeping light FLASH takes us to:

50 EXT. GROUNDS 50

The light sweeps over Andi's crumpled form on the steps.

Blanc backs off, breathing hard, a moment suspended. Deep
regret and anger turning to resolution in his eyes.

With a deep clank, the LIGHTS come back on in the entire
complex.

In the windows behind him, one by one, everyone appears,
looking down on the tableau: Blanc standing above Andi's
awkwardly twisted body, her chest exploded in red.

And high above them all, in the front facing window of the
glass onion, Miles Bron looks down.

MOMENTS LATER

Everyone runs out, each stopping in horror at Andi's body.

CLAIRE
Oh god

She reels, Lionel steadies her. Birdie shrieks and steps
behind Peg, who is in shock. Whiskey sits on the steps,
numb. Inside the hallway, Miles stops at the gun on the
floor. Walks out to Blanc.

Gathering himself he turns, forceful and hard:

BLANC
Everyone, inside. Right now.

Claire motions to the body

(CONTINUED)

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50 CONTINUED: 50

CLAIRE
Shouldn't we -

A cold fury has taken Blanc. He storms inside.

BLANC
She's not going anywhere. Inside.
It's time to finish this.

51 INT. ATRIUM - NIGHT 51

Blanc sweeps in, everyone struggling to keep up.

BLANC
Peg, radio the mainland. Tell them to
send the boats NOW, Banksy be damned,
beach them if they have to.

She nods and goes to do it.

MILES
Andi...

WHISKEY
She killed Duke, why would -

BLANC
No.

MILES
This makes no sense.

BLANC
You're wrong, it all makes perfect
sense. Duke. Andi. This weekend, this
ridiculous game that started well
before we set foot on this island.

LIONEL
Will you please then explain it all
to us? Detective?

BLANC
No. I can peel back the layers, I can
take it to a point. But what lies at
the center... only one person can
tell us who killed Cassandra Brand.

HARD CUT TO:

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52 A FRONT DOOR, PAINTED WHITE 52

A hand knocks. A long moment. Knocks again, insistent. A
voice we maybe recognize from inside:

BLANC (O.S.)
Get that would you?

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Shocking

Summary Andi plummets as a gunshot pierces the silence. Amidst the chaos, guests huddle together, seeking safety. Blanc's regret transforms into determination as the light reveals Andi's lifeless form. The tableau of horror sends everyone fleeing, save for Blanc, who commands them back inside to solve the puzzle of Andi's demise.

Strengths

Suspenseful atmosphere
Shocking twist with the murder
Complex plot with multiple layers of mystery

Weaknesses

Some characters' motives may be unclear or underdeveloped

General Critique

The scene transitions from the aftermath of Andi's death to Blanc taking charge and ordering everyone inside, but the pacing feels a bit rushed.
There is a lack of emotional depth and exploration of the characters' reactions to Andi's death, which could have added more impact to the scene.
The dialogue feels a bit disjointed and could be more focused on conveying the characters' emotions and motivations in the moment.
The visual description of Andi's body and the reactions of the characters could be more vivid and detailed to create a stronger sense of atmosphere and tension.
Blanc's sudden shift to cold fury and determination to finish the investigation feels abrupt and could be better developed to show his internal conflict and resolve.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider slowing down the pacing of the scene to allow for more emotional depth and exploration of the characters' reactions.
Focus on enhancing the dialogue to convey the characters' emotions and motivations more effectively.
Add more vivid and detailed visual descriptions to create a stronger sense of atmosphere and tension.
Develop Blanc's character arc more gradually to show his internal conflict and resolve in a more nuanced way.
Consider incorporating moments of reflection and introspection for the characters to add layers to their responses to Andi's death.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

PHILLIP (O.S.)
You're not in the bath again are
you??

BLANC
(to Phillip, guilty)
No!

A beat, then the door swings open, revealing a handsome
middle aged man named PHILLIP. He blinks at the woman
standing in the hall, grabs a mask and pulls it over his
face.

We recognize her as Andi, wearing an N95 mask, and with
longer hair. Her speaking voice is a little softer, with a
distinct southern lilt, her posture a bit more slouched.
She awkwardly holds a familiar large cardboard BOX.

PHILLIP
Yep, Can I help you?

ANDI
Is this Benoit Blanc's residence?

PHILLIP
Uh, what is this regarding?

ANDI
I'm sorry, it's just his office is
closed and... I really need to speak
to him. It's urgent. Please.
(beat)
And this is not unheavy.

PHILLIP
Blanc! There is someone here for you.
With a box.

53 EXT. TERRACE - DAY 53

Blanc's apartment has a terrace with an outdoor dining table
and a few chairs. The cardboard box sits on the table in
front of Blanc. Andi stands at the far end of the table,
still masked.

(CONTINUED)

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53 CONTINUED: 53

Blanc pulls the top of the box off, revealing the shattered,
splintered remains of the puzzle box.

BLANC
Why don't we start at the beginning.

Her mask. Blanc nods and they both unmask.

ANDI
My name is Helen Brand.

Oh.

HELEN
I came all the way here from Alabama.

A pause. She is obviously nervous. Blanc gently:

BLANC
What do you do in Alabama?

HELEN
I teach, third grade. So, a lotta
zooming. Been getting into tie-dying,
with the pandemic. That doesn't
matter. Mr. Blanc, two days ago I
received a call.

54 INT. MORGUE - FLASHBACK 54

Helen has been brought in to identify the body on a
stretcher. A kind CORONER lifts the sheet.

HELEN (O.C.)
My sister committed suicide. In her
garage, in her car, with the engine
running.

Helen nods, mouths "yes" and steps away quickly. Reveal the
body on the stretcher: It's Andi, Helen's identical twin,
with the shorter hair we're used to seeing her with.

55 EXT. TERRACE 55

HELEN
My sister was Cassandra Brand. Do you
know who she was?

(CONTINUED)

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55 CONTINUED: 55

BLANC
Yes of course. I thought you...
sorry, I thought you looked familiar.
An impressive woman, your sister.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Intriguing

Summary Andi arrives at Benoit Blanc's apartment in disguise, claiming to be her twin sister, Helen Brand. She presents Blanc with a shattered puzzle box, prompting him to invite her inside. Andi removes her mask and explains that she identified her sister's body as her own, revealing their identical appearance. Blanc asks Andi to recount her story, marking a crucial turning point in their investigation.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Emotional depth
Intriguing backstory
Character development

Weaknesses

Some exposition-heavy dialogue

General Critique

The scene starts with a strong visual of Andi standing in the hall with a cardboard box, creating intrigue and setting the tone for urgency.
The dialogue between Andi and Phillip is effective in establishing Andi's urgency and the importance of her message.
Blanc's reaction to seeing the shattered remains of the puzzle box is a good way to build suspense and curiosity.
The reveal of Andi as Helen Brand, Andi's identical twin, adds a layer of mystery and complexity to the scene.
Blanc's calm demeanor and gentle questioning create a sense of trust and openness in the conversation with Helen.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual cues to enhance the tension and urgency of the scene, such as close-up shots of the shattered puzzle box.
Explore the emotional impact of Helen's revelation about her sister's suicide to add depth to the scene.
Introduce subtle hints or clues that foreshadow the connection between Andi and Helen earlier in the script to create a more cohesive narrative.
Add more layers to Helen's character by exploring her motivations and emotional journey in seeking out Blanc.
Consider incorporating flashbacks or visual cues to show the audience the relationship between Andi and Helen, adding depth to their connection.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

HELEN
You know, she kept a diary every day
of her life since she was six, know
what she called it? Notes for future
biographers. Biographers plural.
Girl was six years old. Day after
high school she shot off to New York,
never looked back. You know. When we
were kids we'd goof together, we'd do
a character, "rich bitch."
(in Andi's accent)
"Heavens, the dog ate the caviar
again." Then one day I hear her doing
a talk and that's just how she talks
now! Rich bitch! I was like who are
you fooling girl? Everyone but me.
But she had the brains and guts for
both of us, I was happy just watching
her use them.

BLANC
(gently steering)
So, you get the call.

Helen looking at the box on the table.

HELEN
Yeah I get it. I fly here, this is
yesterday, I'm cleaning out Andi's
house. It's a mess. All her books
everywhere. And I'm thinking about my
sister and what got taken from her
and how I wasn't there for her and
I'm getting angrier and angrier and
then there's a knock at the door.
It's a courier, he hands me this
thing. From Miles Bron. There's
probably some clever way to open it,
I dunno, I open it. It's an
invitation to his private island in
Greece, next weekend, one of these
trips she'd go on with him and this
little group of shitheads that she
thought were her friends. Called
themselves the "disruptors." I knew
what they were, I told her. Shit.
Heads.

(CONTINUED)

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55 CONTINUED: (2) 55

Helen's anger is simmering.

Blanc nods, not impatiently, but ready for the point.

BLANC
Miss Brand, what can I do for you?

Helen nods. And takes the plunge.

HELEN
Andi didn't commit suicide.

Blanc leans back, engaged.

HELEN (cont'd)
She didn't leave any kind of note, so
I was going through her computer,
looking through the "SENT" box to see
if she wrote anyone anything.

Helen pulls her phone, opens an email, hands it to Blanc.

HELEN (cont'd)
She sent this at four pm the day she
was murdered. Four days ago.

Blanc looks at the email, reads it aloud.

BLANC
"I finally found it, it's right here,
and I'm going to use it to burn his
whole empire down. I'm giving you all
one last chance to make things right.
You know where to find me. -A."

The email has a picture attached of Andi in her home office,
holding a sealed file-sized RED MANILA ENVELOPE up to her
computer's camera.

BLANC (cont'd)
And these four addresses she sent it
to, I would assume, are...

HELEN
Birdie Jay, Duke Cody, Claire Debella
and Lionel Toussaint.

BLANC
The shit heads?

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Intriguing, Dramatic

Summary Helen confides in Benoit about her sister Andi's ambitious yet self-centered personality. She reveals an email Andi sent to four individuals before her murder, suggesting she may have uncovered something dangerous. Helen suspects foul play and gives Benoit the email, which contains a photo of Andi holding a suspicious red envelope.

Strengths

Complex plot
Engaging dialogue
High stakes
Emotional depth
Twists and revelations

Weaknesses

Complexity may be overwhelming for some viewers
Introducing a new character may require additional exposition

General Critique

The scene provides a deep insight into Andi's character through Helen's perspective, showcasing her ambition, intelligence, and the complex relationship between the twins.
The dialogue effectively conveys Helen's emotions, from reminiscing about Andi to expressing her anger and determination to seek the truth about her sister's death.
The revelation of the email sent by Andi adds a layer of mystery and intrigue to the scene, setting up a compelling premise for the investigation that follows.
Blanc's reaction to the email and his realization of the potential suspects involved in Andi's murder are well portrayed, adding to the tension and suspense of the scene.
The scene effectively sets up the central conflict of the investigation and introduces key characters and motives, laying a strong foundation for the narrative to unfold.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual elements to enhance the scene, such as incorporating flashbacks or visual cues to complement the dialogue and character interactions.
Explore opportunities to deepen the emotional impact of Helen's revelation about Andi's death, perhaps by delving further into her internal struggle and conflicting emotions.
Introduce subtle hints or foreshadowing elements that can build anticipation and intrigue for the upcoming investigation, keeping the audience engaged and invested in the story.
Enhance the pacing of the scene by balancing dialogue with action or visual cues, creating a dynamic flow that maintains the audience's interest and drives the narrative forward.
Consider incorporating moments of tension or conflict between Helen and Blanc to add complexity to their relationship and create additional layers of intrigue within the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

HELEN
She sends that email. Nothing back
from any of them.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

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55 CONTINUED: (3) 55
HELEN (cont'd)
And the next day she's dead in her
garage. Heavy dose of sleeping pills
in her system. I have emptied every
inch of every room of her house and
guess what isn't there?

Blanc looks at the picture of Andi with the red envelope.

BLANC
The red envelope.
(beat)
Compelling.

Helen's face tightens.

HELEN
Google said you were the world's
greatest detective. I came to you.
Not the police. Someone like me takes
something like this to a group of
rich folk with an army of lawyers...

A pause.

BLANC
But if you got them all together,
isolated for a weekend with, in your
words, "the world's greatest
detective..."

His eyes gleam. Helen's face breaks in relief.

BLANC (cont'd)
You want to hire me to go to that
island?

HELEN
It's a stupid idea right?

BLANC
I want to be clear - I am not Batman.

She blinks.

BLANC (cont'd)
I can find the truth, I can deduce,
gather evidence, present it to the
police and the courts - but that's
where my jurisdiction ends.

HELEN
Yeah but you doing it instead of me.
I'll take those odds.

(CONTINUED)

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55 CONTINUED: (4) 55

Blanc draws a long thin cigar from his pocket and clips the
end, now seeing it, deep in thought.

BLANC
I have not seen your sister's death
in the news, did you release a
statement?

HELEN
No - shit was I supposed to? I don't
know how this works

BLANC
And you have no other family member
who was informed of the death. If I
pulled some strings I could keep it
from leaking to the press for another
week... maybe... yes... a fascinating
challenge... and it could work...
but... oh yes. Oh oh. that's
outrageous Well now. Yes. Wow,
but... yes.
(Helen stares at him)
Ms. Brand any feelings of reverence
or respect you had for me when you
crossed my threshold, buttress those
feelings now, buttress them. I'm
proposing you come with me to that
island. As your sister. As Cassandra
Brand.

HELEN
What? I'm hiring you to go. I'm not.
Whoa. What?? Are you insane?

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Intriguing, Mysterious

Summary Helen, seeking justice for her sister's unexplained death, confides in Blanc. Blanc proposes an intriguing plan: Helen will infiltrate her sister's friend group, disguised as her sister, while Blanc investigates from the shadows. Despite initial hesitation, Helen agrees to Blanc's unorthodox approach.

Strengths

Intriguing plot twists
Suspenseful atmosphere
Complex character dynamics

Weaknesses

Slightly convoluted plot
Some dialogue may be overly dramatic

General Critique

The scene provides a crucial moment of revelation and decision-making for the character of Helen, but the dialogue feels a bit rushed and lacks emotional depth.
There is a lot of exposition and explanation in the dialogue, which could be streamlined to make the scene more engaging and impactful.
The interaction between Blanc and Helen could benefit from more tension and conflict to heighten the stakes and create a more dynamic exchange.
The transition from Helen revealing her suspicions to Blanc proposing the plan to go to the island feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
The scene could benefit from more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional intensity and add layers to the characters' interactions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more emotional depth to Helen's dialogue to convey the weight of her grief and determination.
Streamline the dialogue to focus on the key points and emotions, avoiding unnecessary exposition.
Introduce more tension and conflict between Blanc and Helen to make the scene more engaging and dynamic.
Work on the pacing of the scene to ensure a smooth transition between Helen revealing her suspicions and Blanc proposing the plan.
Incorporate more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional impact of the scene and add layers to the characters' interactions.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BLANC
Buttress now, yes? A famous detective
shows up and out of the blue pokes
the subject of your sister, they'll
shut up like a clam. Your presence on
that island is the essential
catalyst.

HELEN
Oh come on

BLANC
Buttress.

HELEN
I'm trying real hard to buttress but
this sounds nuts.

(CONTINUED)

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55 CONTINUED: (5) 55

BLANC
Indeed. But it's the only way this
works.

HELEN
This is something Andi would do.
She's the smart one, she's the actor.
This isn't me. look at me, they'll
know I'm not her.

BLANC
You cut your hair, wear her clothes

HELEN
You think I'll fit in that shit? And
what about my hair?

BLANC
I know a guy. Listen: Why would
anyone suspect you're showing up
playing your sister, when they don't
know your sister is dead?

Helen starts to get it.

HELEN
Right. They don't know Andi's dead...
they won't suspect. And you'd do the
inspecting?

BLANC
Yes I will, you just have to be
there.

HELEN
Mr Blanc. So this is gonna be safe.

BLANC
(suddenly realizes,
grave)
No. No - one person will know the
truth about you. From the moment you
arrive on that island the killer will
know who you are and what you're
doing. They will certainly not
hesitate to kill again, if it covers
their tracks. And I'm a detective
Helen, not a bodyguard. It's too
dangerous. I'm sorry Helen, I can't
help you.

A long beat. We think Helen might leave. But then:

(CONTINUED)

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55 CONTINUED: (6) 55

HELEN
One of those shit heads killed my
sister.

She looks down at the broken puzzle box, angry.

HELEN (cont'd)
Do you really think we could get the
son of a bitch?

Blanc's grave eyes gleam. He ignites his cigar.

CUT TO:

56 SHIMMERING WATER 56

But this time at night, sparkling like inky glass. Tilt up
to reveal

57 EXT. GRECIAN PORT TOWN - NIGHT 57

Push in on the adorable dock-side hotel, lit up warm and
glowing.

58 EXT. HOTEL TERRACE - NIGHT 58

Tables set up on a front terrace. Helen, disguised as Andi,
steps out the front door. She spots Blanc at a table,
flipping through an iPad. She goes and sits with him.

BLANC
Well, my goodness

HELEN
(beat)
I shouldn't be here, this is nuts.
But I'm here so let's do this.

A server sweeps in.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Serious

Summary Blanc convinces Helen to impersonate her sister, Andi, on the island to help with the investigation. Blanc warns her that it will be dangerous, and that the killer will know who she is and what she's doing. Helen agrees to do it, and they discuss the plan further. They decide that Blanc will do the investigating, while Helen will simply be there to provide a distraction.

Strengths

Intriguing plot developments
Emotional depth of characters
Tension and suspense

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly dramatic or exposition-heavy

General Critique

The dialogue between Blanc and Helen feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more depth and emotional exploration.
The transition from Blanc explaining the plan to the scene at the hotel terrace feels a bit abrupt and could use a smoother transition.
There is a lack of tension and suspense in the scene, considering the high stakes and dangerous situation Helen is about to enter.
The emotional impact of Helen's decision to go undercover as her sister and seek justice for her murder could be more effectively conveyed.
Blanc's sudden change of heart from refusing to help Helen to agreeing to investigate with her feels a bit sudden and could be better justified.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more emotional depth to the conversation between Blanc and Helen to make the stakes and risks more palpable.
Work on creating a smoother transition between Blanc explaining the plan and the scene at the hotel terrace to improve the flow of the narrative.
Enhance the tension and suspense in the scene by building up the danger and risks Helen is about to face more effectively.
Focus on conveying the emotional weight of Helen's decision to seek justice for her sister's murder to make her character arc more compelling.
Provide a more convincing justification for Blanc's change of heart to help Helen, ensuring it feels more organic and believable within the context of the story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BLANC
Drink?

HELEN
I don't drink - just coffee.

The server seems confused, then suddenly seems to understand
and rushes off, very excited.

(CONTINUED)

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58 CONTINUED: 58

HELEN (cont'd)
Andi's journals.

BLANC
Good, keep studying them. Ok.
Tomorrow, I'll go out early, and you
should arrive late, so I can watch
everyone's reaction when you show up.
On the boat be cold, don't engage in
conversation.

HELEN
I'm not great on boats.

BLANC
You'll be fine. Remember, rich bitch
voice, Andi posture.

Helen corrects her usual slouch, does her "rich bitch"
accent for most of the rest of the conversation. She shows a
small, old school iPod Nano.

HELEN
Yes. I put her TED Talks on this
thing, listening to them, the dog ate
the caviar. You said you were going
to research these people for
motives - did you find anything?

BLANC
Yes I did... but motives for each of
them to want Miles Bron dead. Why
would they kill her to protect him?
Just don't get it.

HELEN
What about Miles? What if Miles just
did it?

BLANC
We can't rule it out but - Miles Bron
is not an idiot. To risk committing
murder, after a very public court
case, with the possibility that
Andi's email could come to light...
it would be an exceedingly stupid
thing to do. Especially if someone
was willing to do it for him. Now,
walk me through these journals -

(CONTINUED)

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HELEN
Kay. Ten years ago, before any of
them hit it big, they all hung out
together in this bar.

59 INT. THE GLASS ONION BAR - FLASHBACK - NIGHT 59

The "Glass Onion" neon sign glows in a dive bar. Andi,
Birdie, Duke, Claire and Lionel all hang out drinking in a
booth, all young and broke and buzzed. Andi is the warm
center of the group.

BLANC (O.C.)
And Miles was the leader of the pack?

HELEN (O.C.)
No, Andi was. They all were friends
with Andi. Birdie was a washed up
model, Duke was a nerd doing video
game tournaments. Claire just lost a
race for city council, Lionel was a
substitute teacher. All of them run
aground in their thirties, but Andi
saw their potential. She found them
all. Then she found Miles.
Introduced him to the group.

Andi sees Miles enter, waves him over to the booth.

ANDI
Guys. This is Miles.

Time cut: later in the conversation, Miles holds court.

HELEN (O.S.)
At first nobody liked him. He would
say stuff like:

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Intriguing, Dramatic

Summary Helen and Blanc discuss their plan to investigate Andi Brand's murder. Helen has been studying Andi's journals and reveals that she was the one who introduced the friends to Miles. Blanc dismisses the theory that Miles himself is the killer but has not yet found a clear motive for the other guests.

Strengths

Intriguing plot twists
Complex character dynamics
High stakes and tension

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly expository
Complexity of the plot may be challenging for some viewers to follow

General Critique

The scene starts with a bit of confusion from the server, which could be clarified or made more purposeful.
The transition from the server's confusion to Helen discussing Andi's journals feels a bit abrupt and could use a smoother transition.
The dialogue between Blanc and Helen about studying Andi's journals and the plan for the next day is informative but could benefit from more emotional depth or tension.
Helen's sudden switch to a 'rich bitch' accent and posture feels a bit forced and could be more subtly integrated into the scene.
Blanc's explanation of motives for wanting Miles Bron dead and the discussion about Miles potentially being the killer could be more engaging and suspenseful.
The flashback to the Glass Onion bar is a nice touch to provide background information, but it could be more seamlessly integrated into the conversation between Blanc and Helen.
The dialogue between Helen and Blanc about Andi's role in the group and her introduction of Miles could be more impactful and emotionally resonant.
The scene ends with a bit of a cliffhanger, which could be more effectively built up throughout the scene to create a stronger sense of anticipation.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider refining the server's confusion to serve a purpose in the scene or clarifying the reason for their excitement.
Work on smoother transitions between different topics of conversation to maintain the flow of the scene.
Add more emotional depth or tension to the dialogue between Blanc and Helen to make the scene more engaging.
Integrate Helen's accent and posture shift more naturally into the scene to avoid feeling forced.
Enhance the suspense and intrigue in the discussion about motives and potential suspects to keep the audience hooked.
Find ways to seamlessly weave in the flashback to the Glass Onion bar to provide context without disrupting the flow of the scene.
Make the dialogue about Andi's role in the group and her introduction of Miles more impactful and emotionally resonant to deepen the connection with the characters.
Build up the cliffhanger ending throughout the scene to create a stronger sense of anticipation and intrigue.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MILES
I want to be responsible for
something that gets talked about
within the same breath as the Mona
Lisa forever.

60 EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT 60

BLANC
What does that even mean?

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61 INT. THE GLASS ONION BAR - FLASHBACK - NIGHT 61

The group huddling while Miles is over at the bar.

ANDI
It means immortality, he wants to
create something that has a lasting -

Andi fumbles to a stop.

LIONEL
His last venture was "Moviefone for
foot massages."

BIRDIE
Did it work?

LIONEL
(obviously)
No!

ANDI
Let's just roll with it, humor him.
Just a little. Let's see what
happens.

HELEN (O.C.)
And things started happening.

Time cuts: the gang in the bar over a series of nights,
laughing at Miles's jokes, getting happier and happier.

HELEN (O.C.) (cont'd)
He got Birdie a show for her designs,
it did well. Got Lionel published.
Duke set up on Twitch. Claire elected
locally. Small stuff but it happened.
And then the big thing happened.

The gang plays pool. Andi, with a hardcover copy of "The
Innovator's Dilemma" on her knee, scribbles something.

On a napkin. Miles points to it, everyone looks up.

MILES
What's that you are working on?

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62 EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT 62

HELEN
So based on this napkin idea Andi and
Miles create Alpha, it blows up, they
bring everyone along for the ride.
And Miles's aspirations keep getting
bigger and bigger. Cut to: two years
ago. Miles meets some sketchy
Norwegian chemist at an ayahuasca
ceremony in Peru, who pitches him
this new hydrogen fuel. He becomes
obsessed. He's ready to put the
entire company's resources towards
launching this stuff.

63 INT. BOARD ROOM - FLASHBACK - DAY 63

ANDI
No.

We are in an ALPHA board room, with a spectacular NYC view.

Andi sits and Miles stands watching her, weirdly like a
puppy who has brought its master a bone.

MILES
Andi. C'mon. This is it!

On a dish in front of her: the marble-sized Klear crystal,
an unsigned contract, and a pen.

ANDI
No. This is not a start-up. This
could blow up the world

MILES
Yes!

ANDI
NO! No, I mean literally it could
blow up the world! The reality
distortion field has to end here. I
can't let you do this.

MILES
What do you mean you can't "Let me"?

ANDI
I'll walk. And take half the company.
To stop you from using it for this.

(CONTINUED)

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63 CONTINUED: 63

Miles looks genuinely anguished. Weirdly vulnerable.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Dramatic

Summary Miles yearns for lasting impact, but his hydrogen fuel project faces opposition. Andi threatens to leave over safety concerns, highlighting the tension between ambition and responsibility.

Strengths

Intriguing plot twists
Emotionally engaging moments
Complex character dynamics

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly expository
Pacing could be improved in certain sections

General Critique

The scene provides important background information about Miles's aspirations and the creation of Alpha, but it could benefit from more clarity and focus on the central conflict.
The transition between the flashback in the Glass Onion bar and the board room scene could be smoother to enhance the flow of the narrative.
The dialogue between Andi and Miles in the board room lacks a sense of urgency and tension, considering the high stakes of their disagreement.
The emotional depth of Miles's vulnerability and Andi's determination could be further explored to add depth to their characters and the conflict.
The scene could benefit from more visual descriptions to create a vivid and engaging setting for the audience.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue to increase the tension and emotional impact of the confrontation between Andi and Miles.
Enhance the transition between the flashback and present-day scenes to improve the coherence of the narrative.
Add more visual details to bring the board room setting to life and enhance the audience's immersion in the scene.
Explore the characters' internal conflicts and motivations more deeply to create a more compelling and nuanced portrayal of their dynamics.
Ensure that the scene contributes effectively to the overall plot and character development, maintaining a clear focus on advancing the story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

64 EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT 64

HELEN
And she did it. God I love that she
did it. Then she found out his
lawyers had worked the contracts so
she was cut out of the company
completely.

BLANC
So she sued over that -

HELEN
Her whole case was built on
(Andi accent)
"intellectual ownership of the
company's founding idea."

BLANC
Her idea. On the napkin.

HELEN
Which she didn't keep.

65 INT. COURTROOM - DAY 65

Miles and Andy look silently at each other from their
respective tables.

On the stand - Claire. She avoids Andi's gaze.

CLAIRE
Miles got really excited, he had an
idea. And he grabbed a napkin and
scribbled it down to show us.

Andi STANDS, furious.

ANDI
That's a LIE! Claire look at me!
Look me in the eye Claire and say it!

JUDGE
Order, counsel please get your client
under control.

TIME CUT: Duke on the stand.

(CONTINUED)

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65 CONTINUED: 65

LAWYER
And do you recall Mr Cody, who wrote
this napkin?

DUKE
Yeah, Miles.

Then Birdie:

BIRDIE
It was Miles.

And finally Lionel:

LIONEL
Miles.

Andi sits in shocked fury. Truly gutted. Miles smiles
sympathetically at her, somehow genuinely sorry, like a
golden retriever who's just eaten your shoes. She glares
back at him.

HELEN (O.C.)
This was March.

66 INT. ANDI'S LIVING ROOM - FLASHBACK - DAY 66

On an iPad, a Forbes.com story about Miles and his idea
napkin. Andi stares at it, dead eyed. A bottle of wine
nearly dead beside her.

HELEN (O.S.)
Right after the verdict Miles
"suddenly found" the napkin, written
in his handwriting, and did all those
interviews about it.

She THROWS the iPad across the room. Goes on a tear, flips
her coffee table, shoves books off her shelves, goes full
Charles Foster Kane.

67 EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT 67

BLANC
A bald faced fabrication.

HELEN
A damn lie. And it worked.

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68 INT. ANDI'S LIVING ROOM - FLASHBACK - DAY 68

Andi stops mid-destruction.

Sees in a pile on the ground: her old hardcover copy of "The
Innovator's Dilemma."

Her eyes focus on it. Holy shit.

She leans down. Picks it up.

And out of the dust sleeve falls THE REAL NAPKIN.

69 EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT 69

BLANC
So. Every one of the disruptors
perjured themselves to destroy Andi
and shield Miles Bron. We need to
find out why. Motive. Whose was
strong enough to go one more step,
and commit murder. And then - and
this will be tricky - everyone's
whereabouts on the night of her
death. Who could have been to her
house that night. Opportunity.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Intriguing

Summary Andi discovers the stolen idea napkin, leading to a trial where Miles and the founders falsely testify against her, resulting in Miles winning the company. Blanc suspects the founders' perjury and suggests investigating their motives and alibis for Andi's murder.

Strengths

Intriguing plot twists
Sharp dialogue
Complex characters
High stakes
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Complexity may be overwhelming for some viewers
Potential for confusion with multiple characters and motives

General Critique

The scene effectively reveals the betrayal Andi experienced from her colleagues, particularly Miles, in court.
The tension and conflict between Andi and Miles are well portrayed, adding depth to their characters.
The flashback to Andi's living room showcases her emotional turmoil and the moment of realization about the real napkin, adding a layer of intrigue to the story.
The dialogue and interactions between the characters, especially during the courtroom testimony, are engaging and drive the plot forward.
The scene effectively sets up the motive for murder and introduces the need to investigate everyone's whereabouts on the night of Andi's death.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional impact of Andi's betrayal and realization about the real napkin.
Explore the internal thoughts and motivations of the characters, especially Andi and Miles, to deepen their characterization and add complexity to the scene.
Ensure that the dialogue remains authentic and consistent with the characters' personalities and motivations throughout the scene.
Consider incorporating more sensory details or descriptive language to create a vivid and immersive setting for the courtroom and flashback scenes.
Continue to build suspense and intrigue by gradually revealing more information about the characters' relationships and motives as the scene progresses.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

While he's talking Helen opens to a blank page in one of the
journals and draws something.

HELEN
Our suspects. Motive. Opportunity.

She shows it to him - she's made a grid with four names on
the left and two columns for "M" and "O" on top. She grins.

HELEN (cont'd)
Kinda like a - it's like a -

BLANC
(deeply annoyed)
Yes, yes

HELEN BLANC
A "Clue" notepad Yeah.

HELEN
You must be great at Clue

(CONTINUED)

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69 CONTINUED: 69

BLANC HELEN
I'm very bad at dumb things,
it's my Achilles heel.
Ticking boxes, "Run around!
Search all the rooms!"
terrible game. Well. My students love it.

A beat. Distant, the glowing light of the island.

HELEN (cont'd)
I'm scared Blanc.

BLANC
I understand. This is your last
chance to back out.

Helen looks at her sister's journal in her hand. Then back
out at the island. Determined.

70 EXT. SEA - MORNING 70

The ferry cuts a path towards Bron's island, all the
suspects on board.

On the back deck Helen stands, hand grasping the rail
tightly. SICK AS A DOG.

HELEN
(to herself)
Ooooph god boats.

Helen looks down at Duke on the deck below her.

DUKE
Ballsy move.

Birdie on the deck, watching her. Birdie looks freaked out.
Duke grins with sinister amusement.

BIRDIE
You shouldn't be here.

Helen returns their stare.

71 EXT. BEACH - DAY 71

A shoe with an UNTIED SHOELACE scuffs to a stop. Blanc bends
to tie it, Helen hanging back with him as the rest of the
group ambles ahead with Miles.

They talk quietly and quickly.

(CONTINUED)

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71 CONTINUED: 71

HELEN
Duke and Birdie, I think they're on
to me. Or they were just being
assholes.

BLANC
Not mutually exclusive. I suspect
when we're all settling in Bron will
pull me aside to explain my presence.
That's your chance to snoop.

HELEN
Snoop?

BLANC
Snoop.

72 INT. ANDI'S ROOM - DAY 72

Helen puts her bag down on the bed. Ok. Snooping time.

ANDI
Snooping. Snoop. Okay, here I go.

73 EXT. GROUNDS 73

In a bathing suit and beach wrap she wanders, not exactly
sure what she's looking for.

Whiskey emerges from the greenery, in a bikini and skirt.

WHISKEY
Hey Andi.

HELEN
Hey yeah. Yes. Hi.

WHISKEY
I'm Whiskey. We didn't really meet.
Are you looking for the pool?

HELEN
Sure.

WHISKEY
You want this? Not into it. Smells
like that guy Derol.

A bottle of the hard Kombucha. Helen takes it, tries it,
winces. But keeps drinking it. They walk together. Nothing
to say. Helen reaches:

(CONTINUED)

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Mysterious, Anxious

Summary On the ferry to Bron's island, Helen feels uneasy and seasick. Suspects Duke and Birdie appear suspicious of Helen. Blanc assists her with their plan to investigate the island. Helen intrudes Andi's room but is interrupted by the friendly Whiskey, who offers her a drink. They proceed to the pool together.

Strengths

Engaging plot
Complex characters
Suspenseful tone
Mysterious atmosphere

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be cryptic or confusing for the audience

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the high stakes involved in the investigation of a murder.
The dialogue between Blanc and Helen feels forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
The transition between Helen drawing the grid in her journal and the scene on the ferry is abrupt and disjointed.
Helen's sudden sickness on the ferry is introduced without much context or build-up, making it feel out of place.
The interaction between Helen, Duke, and Birdie on the ferry lacks depth and fails to create intrigue or suspense.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Add more tension and suspense to the scene by emphasizing the high stakes of the investigation and the danger Helen is putting herself in.
Develop the dialogue between Blanc and Helen to make it more engaging and reflective of their characters' motivations and emotions.
Smooth out the transition between scenes to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
Provide more context for Helen's sudden sickness on the ferry to make it feel more organic to the story.
Enhance the interaction between Helen, Duke, and Birdie to create more intrigue and set up potential conflicts or alliances.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

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73 CONTINUED: 73

HELEN
That's a beautiful necklace. Taurus.

Whiskey's necklace is a jeweled bull.

WHISKEY
Miles gave it to me. Surprised me for
my birthday, filled his whole
penthouse on the park with roses.
(at Helen's look)
He's a good guy. He's complicated.
But...

Whiskey looks at her curiously.

WHISKEY (cont'd)
I think it's really shitty. What
Miles did to you, and how they all
treated you. I read all your court
transcripts, you got shanked.

HELEN
Thanks. Whiskey.

74 EXT. GROUNDS - CONTINUOUS 74

WHISKEY
This is my second one of these
things, we did a yacht thing last
year.

HELEN
Fun.

WHISKEY
Pfft. When they're all together it's
the worst. Duke treats me like arm
candy in front of them, they all
ignore me.

HELEN
Why do you put up with it?

WHISKEY
With Duke? Building my brand, he's
putting me on his channel more.
Though he's veering harder right with
this man-dom stuff, if I'm going to
get into politics eventually I don't
know if I want to go down that road.
It's expeditious but kind of a shit
show. Here's the pool.

(CONTINUED)

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And there it is.

HELEN
I'm going to walk around a little
more. I'll see you down there. It was
nice talking to you.

WHISKEY
You too.

Whiskey heads down to the pool. Helen watches her go,
thoughtful, then slips into the brush to continue snooping.

75 EXT. HERB GARDEN 75

Helen emerges, lost and frustrated. Takes another pull from
the Kombucha, winces.

BANG!

She spit takes and looks in the direction of the shot.

76 EXT. POOL - CONTINUOUS 76

Duke has just fired his pistol.

DUKE
Really.

LIONEL
Asshole.

MILES (O.S.)
NOW it's a party!

We stick with Lionel and Claire as they swim out to the deep
end of the infinity pool, with a spectacular view, and
privacy to talk.

CLAIRE
I did it. Two weeks ago I did it.

LIONEL
You signed off on the power plant?

CLAIRE
Yeah. God help me. When this breaks,
poof, my base is gone, all my grass
roots, lefties. Gone.

(CONTINUED)

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76 CONTINUED: 76

LIONEL
I did it too.

CLAIRE
Did what?

Over the edge of the infinity pool, reveal: Helen, lurking
in the garden below, listening.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Intriguing

Summary Amidst the revelry of a lavish party, secrets unfold. Helen's relentless snooping exposes the tensions between Duke and his posse. Lionel and Claire's private conversation reveals their support for the controversial power plant, overheard by Helen. As the sun sets, the sound of Duke firing his pistol pierces the air, leaving Helen with a contemplative expression.

Strengths

Engaging plot
Complex characters
Suspenseful tone
Intriguing mystery

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be a bit exposition-heavy

General Critique

The scene starts with a conversation between Helen and Whiskey about Miles giving her a necklace, which seems to be setting up a potential conflict or tension between the characters.
The dialogue between Helen and Whiskey reveals some backstory and character dynamics, but it feels a bit forced and expository.
The transition from Whiskey showing Helen around to Helen snooping around the herb garden feels abrupt and disjointed.
Duke firing his pistol without any context or explanation seems random and out of place in the scene.
The conversation between Lionel and Claire about signing off on the power plant feels rushed and lacks depth, especially considering the gravity of the decision they made.
The reveal of Helen lurking and eavesdropping at the end of the scene is predictable and lacks subtlety.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more nuance and subtlety to the dialogue between Helen and Whiskey to make it feel more natural and engaging.
Provide more context and build-up to Duke firing his pistol to make it feel like a natural progression of the scene.
Smooth out the transition between Whiskey showing Helen around and Helen snooping to make it feel more cohesive.
Expand on the conversation between Lionel and Claire about signing off on the power plant to add depth and emotional weight to their decision.
Find a more creative and subtle way to reveal Helen eavesdropping at the end of the scene to create a sense of intrigue and suspense.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

LIONEL
I signed off on putting Klear in the
manned mission. My staff doesn't know
yet.

CLAIRE
Goddammit. Let's hope Andi was wrong
about this Klear stuff

LIONEL
No she was right.
(beat)
You put its gas form into household
pipes you get massive leakage into
the air, the hydrogen particles are
too small.

CLAIRE
Hydrogen gas - You're telling me it's
gonna literally turn everyone's house
into the Hindenburg

He spots Blanc wading (in his shirt) and eyeing them.

Blanc smiles as they swim past him.

Helen emerges into the pool area, and walks past.

Helen sits next to Birdie and Peg, without them noticing. A
fresh kombucha in her hand.

BIRDIE
I'll take care of him. Don't worry.
There was a time you know, back when.

Helen throws her voice recorder in to Birdies pool bag.

BIRDIE (cont'd)
I was the one who'd been on
magazines, he was nobody, he couldn't
believe he was talking to me. He was
this little thing in my hand.
(beat)
I preferred that.

(CONTINUED)

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76 CONTINUED: (2) 76

Birdie lies back, and notices Andi lying in the chair next
to her.

BIRDIE (cont'd)
Andi! Hi.

77 INT. BATHROOM - LATER 77

Blanc and Helen huddle in the small single bathroom. A huge
painting by Matisse on the wall. Helen is drinking another
kombucha and seems weirdly loose.

BLANC
Wow. You're really good at this.
Interesting stuff with Whiskey too,
and motives for both Lionel and
Claire, well done.

HELEN
Are those motives? I was kinda
confused

BLANC
Yes, both of them - they've bet the
farm and will both be ruined along
with Miles if he fails. They need to
protect him at all costs.

Helen ticks off the "M" boxes for Lionel and Claire.

HELEN
But I can't picture them killing
her...I just can't.

BLANC
Think of the crime, the nature of it.

78 EXT. ANDI'S HOUSE - HYPOTHETICAL - EVENING 78

Duke knocking on Andi's front door, his motorcycle nearby.
She answers. He is contrite.

BLANC (O.C.)
They've come to apologize, to make
amends.

79 INT. ANDI'S KITCHEN - HYPOTHETICAL - NIGHT 79

Lionel in the cozy kitchen now with Andi, as we see
different scenarios seamlessly blend together.

(CONTINUED)

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BLANC (O.C.)
And the murder itself is non violent,
gentle.

Lionel slips some powder in Andi's tea when her back is
turned.

BLANC (O.C.) (cont'd)
They don't even see her die.

Andi fades from consciousness, her head sinks gently to the
table. Claire now sits watching her silently and coldly.

BLANC (O.C.) (cont'd)
she just goes to sleep.

80 INT. ANDI'S GARAGE - HYPOTHETICAL - EVENING 80

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intriguing, Tense, Mysterious

Summary Lionel confesses to Claire his approval of Klear's use despite its risks. Helen plants a voice recorder in Birdie's bag. Blanc and Helen discuss the murder, exploring motives of protecting Miles from Klear's potential harm.

Strengths

Intriguing mystery setup
Tense and suspenseful atmosphere
Complex character dynamics

Weaknesses

Lack of major character development
Some dialogue may be confusing or unclear

General Critique

The dialogue between Lionel and Claire about the dangerous properties of Klear feels a bit expositional and could be more subtly integrated into the conversation.
Blanc's presence in the scene feels a bit random and disconnected from the main conversation between Lionel and Claire. It might be more effective to have Blanc's interaction with Helen tied more directly to the discussion about Klear and the murder investigation.
The transition to Blanc and Helen in the bathroom feels a bit abrupt and could benefit from a smoother segue to that location.
Helen's behavior in the bathroom, drinking kombucha and seeming 'weirdly loose,' doesn't quite align with the serious nature of the conversation about motives for the murder. It might be more effective to have her behavior reflect the gravity of the situation.
The hypothetical scenarios of Duke apologizing to Andi and Lionel slipping powder into her tea feel disjointed and could be better integrated into the narrative flow of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider revising the dialogue between Lionel and Claire to make the exposition about Klear more organic and integrated into the conversation.
Find a more seamless way to connect Blanc's presence in the scene to the main discussion between Lionel and Claire, perhaps by having him enter the conversation more naturally.
Work on a smoother transition to the bathroom scene with Blanc and Helen to avoid a jarring shift in location.
Adjust Helen's behavior in the bathroom to better match the serious tone of the conversation about motives for the murder.
Integrate the hypothetical scenarios of Duke apologizing to Andi and Lionel slipping powder into her tea more cohesively into the overall narrative of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Andi slumped in the passenger seat. Birdie turns on the
engine and lowers the windows.

BLANC (O.C.)
No, they're all more than capable.

81 INT. BATHROOM 81

Helen shudders. Terrible to think about. Meanwhile Blanc
pours his hard kombucha into the sink and fills the bottle
with water, as Helen takes another pull at hers.

BLANC
Go easy there - I thought you didn't
drink?

HELEN
This isn't drink. It's some funky
health stuff.

BLANC
You give me that. That's hard
kombucha, Jared Leto's hard kombucha
it's my god nine percent alcohol -
how many of these have you had?

She holds up three fingers

HELEN
Two maybe I dunno I'm fine, we need
the O's, the opportunity. We've gotta
open them up, push it.

(CONTINUED)

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81 CONTINUED: 81

BLANC
Don't push anything right now,

HELEN
Listen I feel good

BLANC
I think you should maybe lie down

HELEN
We're running out of time!

BLANC
Helen! Please remember the danger
here. Step back, let me handle it.
Push nothing.

82 EXT. POOL 82

With Helen. Listening as Miles gives his discourse on
disruption. As he speaks we stay on her face, moving with
her as she approaches the group.

MILES (O.S.)
They'll tell you to stop, that you
need to stop. Because as it turns
out, nobody wants you to break the
system itself. That is true
disruption. That is what unites this
group. Every single one of us has hit
that point, and proved that they're
willing to cross it.

Helen takes a last long pull from the hard kombucha,
straightens her posture, then claps.

Blanc and the rest of the group turns to look at her.
Blanc's face: Uh oh.

CUT TO:

83 EXT. GROUNDS - AFTERNOON 83

Helen bursts onto a path, away from the pool, hyped up. She
steadies herself, the trees spinning.

HELEN
Uh oh

Behind her Claire runs to catch up.

(CONTINUED)

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83 CONTINUED: 83
CLAIRE
Wait!

Helen takes one breath - here we go - then spins on her:

HELEN
Wait YOU wait. That day in court you
couldn't even look me in the eye.

Claire just looks at her hard, up and down, appraising her.
Helen holds her gaze. Fear grips her, like someone who's
made a bad bluff.

CLAIRE
What are you doing?

This is steely. It freezes Helen. The moment is broken when
Duke emerges from the pool area, joining them. Standing by
silently. Claire looks at him. Back to Helen.

CLAIRE (cont'd)
Can we talk about the email.

HELEN
Oh now you want to talk about it?
You didn't even write back.

Claire looks back at Duke, they both look at her strangely.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Confrontational, Dramatic

Summary In the car, Birdie and Andi chat while in the bathroom, Blanc cautions Helen about her drinking after discovering she's consumed hard kombucha. Meanwhile, Miles delivers a speech by the pool, which Helen interrupts after confronting Claire about an email. Claire and Duke's enigmatic response suggests knowledge that Helen lacks.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Intense confrontations
Revealing character interactions
High stakes and tension

Weaknesses

Possible confusion with multiple character motivations and relationships

General Critique

The transition from Blanc pouring his hard kombucha into the sink to Helen taking a pull at hers feels a bit abrupt and disconnected.
The dialogue between Blanc and Helen in the bathroom lacks depth and emotion, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters' feelings and motivations.
The scene at the pool where Helen listens to Miles's discourse on disruption feels disjointed and lacks a clear purpose or direction.
Helen's sudden burst of energy and confrontation with Claire feels forced and lacks a natural buildup or development.
The dialogue exchange between Helen and Claire lacks depth and complexity, making it difficult to understand the tension and conflict between the characters.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more context and background information to the transition between Blanc and Helen in the bathroom to create a smoother flow of the scene.
Enhance the dialogue between Blanc and Helen to add emotional depth and complexity, allowing the audience to better understand the characters' motivations and intentions.
Provide a clearer purpose or objective for Helen listening to Miles's discourse at the pool to ensure that the scene contributes meaningfully to the overall narrative.
Build up the tension and conflict between Helen and Claire gradually to create a more impactful and engaging confrontation scene.
Develop the dialogue exchange between Helen and Claire to add layers of complexity and depth to their interaction, highlighting the underlying tensions and motivations of the characters.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

CLAIRE
I'm a politician, I never email
anything I wouldn't want on the front
page of the Times. That's why I
called.

Helen is frozen... uh oh. Did she just majorly fuck up?

CLAIRE (cont'd)
All of us did, right when we got it,
over and over, your phone was off.
The whole next week - up until
yesterday I've been trying and it's
still off.

HELEN
I got a new number.

DUKE
And when we couldn't reach you, I
went to your house.

Helen freezes again. Oh shit. But:

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84 EXT. ANDI'S HOUSE - FLASHBACK - EVENING 84

We see what Claire describes, her Prius pulls up just as
Lionel gets there in his Tesla. They join Duke who is
knocking at the door and yelling, his motorcycle parked
nearby.

CLAIRE (O.C.)
Lionel and I got there at the same
time, Duke was already there.

DUKE (O.C.)
The lights were out, I was pounding,
I almost broke it down.

CLAIRE (O.C.)
We knocked and waited and called for
you, we thought you were just not
coming out.

During this Duke has spotted a SPIDER crawling on the wall.
In anger he SMASHES it.

85 EXT. GROUNDS 85

CLAIRE
After an hour we left. Birdie went by
later to check and it was the same.
Where the hell were you?

HELEN
What time did you get there?

CLAIRE
I don't know, it was dark

HELEN
And Duke you were there already?

CLAIRE
He drove his motorcycle so fast he
almost got in an accident,

DUKE
I almost got pancaked -

Helen squints, trying to keep it all straight in her
kombucha daze

HELEN
Can you say all that one more time?

(CONTINUED)

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85 CONTINUED: 85

CLAIRE
Look. I don't know what you're
planning on pulling being here but we
need to talk about this.

Then Helen has a moment of clarity, she knows what she wants
to ask:

HELEN
If I had answered the door that
night, what would you have told me?
(to Claire)
That you were wrong? That you'll back
me up with Miles? Or were you all
showing up to talk me out of using
that envelope?

Claire doesn't reply, and Helen has her answer, and takes
the opportunity to storm off.

Claire watches her go. Duke scowls and leaves.

Lionel emerges behind Claire, sees Helen vanishing into the
gardens.

CLAIRE
Something's off. What is she playing
at?

86 EXT. GARDEN 86

The adrenaline carries Helen about eight steps before she
swoons and stumbles. From nearby:

SOOTHING ROBOT VOICE (O.S.)
This is a smokeless garden...

Red lights flash through the trees, she takes a defensive
posture, so confused.

SOOTHING ROBOT VOICE (O.S.) (cont'd)
Please keep our water clean...

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Confrontational, Mysterious

Summary Helen meets with Claire and Duke to confront them about their visit on election night. Despite Helen's avoidance, Claire explains that they wanted to discuss an envelope that Helen had in her possession. Helen remains evasive, leading to a tense exchange and her abrupt departure.

Strengths

Tense dialogue
Revealing character interactions
Building suspense and mystery

Weaknesses

Possible confusion with multiple character interactions and motives

General Critique

The scene starts with a strong conflict between Claire and Helen, but the resolution feels rushed and lacks depth. The tension built up in the confrontation could have been explored further to add more emotional impact.
The dialogue feels a bit forced and unnatural at times, especially when Helen freezes multiple times. It would be beneficial to make her reactions more organic and believable.
There is a lot of information being thrown at the audience in a short amount of time, which can be overwhelming. Consider pacing the revelations and interactions to allow for better absorption of the details.
The transition from the flashback to the present day conversation is abrupt and could be smoother to avoid confusion for the audience.
The scene lacks a clear focus or central theme, making it feel disjointed and scattered. It would be helpful to streamline the narrative and hone in on the core conflict or revelation.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider expanding on the emotional impact of the confrontation between Claire and Helen to add depth to their relationship and the stakes of the scene.
Work on making Helen's reactions and dialogue more natural and authentic to enhance the believability of her character.
Try to space out the information and revelations in the scene to allow for better digestion by the audience.
Smooth out the transition between the flashback and present day conversation to improve the flow of the scene.
Focus on establishing a clear central theme or conflict to give the scene more direction and cohesion.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

She sees Blanc dash out from the foliage, panicked. She
calls to him.

HELEN
Blanc!

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87 INT. GYM - DAY 87

Blanc and Helen speak quickly in an empty gorgeous GYM. She
pounds Gatorade.

Behind them a fitness training video screen has a still of
Serena Williams, with "WORK OUT WITH SERENA" beneath her.

HELEN
That's everything she said, I think.

BLANC
Wow. I think maybe you should... take
up drinking? You are just killing it.

HELEN
Claire and Lionel were never there
alone - but Duke came early and
Birdie came late.

On her note pad she ticks off the "O" for Birdie and Duke.

BLANC
But they could have gotten there
early, killed your sister then
circled away and waited for the other
to arrive.

HELEN
Shit.

She ticks off Claire and Lionel's "O" boxes.

BLANC
Something... something is teasing the
edge of my brain. This case confounds
me.

HELEN
Well we don't have motives for Duke
or Birdie so -

Behind them we realize the picture of Serena Williams is not
a picture at all but live video. He looks up from his book.

SERENA WILLIAMS (ON SCREEN)
Hey, do either of you two want to do
a session?

They look up, startled.

SERENA WILLIAMS (ON SCREEN) (cont'd)
I mean I'm on the clock.

(CONTINUED)

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87 CONTINUED: 87

A CLACK and whirrrr from off-screen draws Blanc's attention.

BLANC
Oh... not, right now.

Serena Williams goes back to his book with a shrug.

SERENA WILLIAMS (ON SCREEN)
Alright. It's your money.

Blanc goes to the source of the noise - a FAX MACHINE in the
corner, spitting a sheet out into a huge bin. Helen goes
with him, still bracing herself.

BLANC
One number... all his machines...

Blanc gets very excited and digs through the bin, flipping
through the pages fast, then stopping and drawing one out.
He shows it to Helen.

HELEN
Holy shit...

It's a FAX of the email from Andi. With "FYI" written at the
top.

BLANC
From that afternoon, just minutes
after she sent the email.

They look at the top line - SENDER: LIONEL TOUSSAINT

HELEN
Lionel! It was Lionel!

BLANC
Now hold on - this doesn't mean he
killed your sister, necessarily -
look out

He spots Duke outside, on the phone, coming into the gym.
Blanc and Helen both HIDE as he enters, grabs a gym towel
and wipes down post-run.

DUKE
(into phone)
Now. Right now, you go to him, do
what you have to do, but push that
son of a bitch. Get an answer from
him. Babe. We need this. Do this one
last time. Ok. Love you -

(CONTINUED)

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87 CONTINUED: (2) 87

But whoever it is has hung up on him. He stands for a
minute, thinking, then leaves with purpose.

Blanc looks over to Helen with urgency.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Serious

Summary In the desolate gym, Helen and Blanc dissect the case, revealing Lionel's covert email transmission. Duke's enigmatic phone conversation adds a layer of suspicion. The weight of the mystery intensifies as they hide from Duke's watchful eyes.

Strengths

Revealing crucial evidence through a fax
Building suspense and tension
Introducing new suspects and raising stakes in the investigation

Weaknesses

Limited character interactions
Lack of emotional depth in some moments

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from Helen calling out to Blanc to them speaking quickly in an empty gym, which can be disorienting for the audience.
The dialogue between Blanc and Helen feels rushed and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to fully grasp the significance of their conversation.
The introduction of Serena Williams on the fitness training video screen feels out of place and disrupts the flow of the scene.
Blanc's sudden excitement over the fax machine and the revelation of Lionel as the sender of the email feels forced and lacks a natural buildup.
The entrance of Duke and his phone call at the end of the scene adds unnecessary complexity and distracts from the main focus of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider starting the scene with a smoother transition from Helen calling out to Blanc to them discussing the case in the gym.
Slow down the dialogue between Blanc and Helen to allow for more depth and clarity in their conversation.
Remove the reference to Serena Williams on the fitness training video screen as it feels out of place in the context of the scene.
Build up the excitement over the fax machine revelation more gradually to create a sense of suspense and intrigue.
Consider ending the scene on the revelation of Lionel as the sender of the email to maintain focus on the main plot point and avoid unnecessary distractions.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

She is snoring gently in her hiding place. He nudges her
sharply

HELEN
What who now?

88 EXT. GROUNDS 88

Duke creeps through the foliage, then kneels, watching
through a picture window as MILES and WHISKEY make out
inside.

About 20 yards back, Helen and Blanc creep up, seeing him.
They exchange "whoa shit" looks. Then Helen makes a move to
get closer, Blanc tries to stop her but she's already gone,
and the movement SNAPS a twig.

Duke looks back. Nothing. He looks back at the window, and
this time we can hear the scene inside, as Whiskey and Miles
fall onto the bed together.

WHISKEY
Are you going to do it for me?

Miles motions to grab her...Whiskey stops him and pins him
down.

WHISKEY (cont'd)
Not that. It's all he wants. The
youtube channel is dying, he needs
the exposure, just put him on Alpha
News baby. Just a late night spot,
you promised him you were grooming
him for it, and he's earned it with
what he did, you know that.

MILES
I wish I could.

WHISKEY
What?

MILES
I'm building the future of news, I
can't have rhino horn boner Pill
Karma in the mix.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

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88 CONTINUED: 88
MILES (cont'd)
He's a loyal friend, but I can't put
him on Alpha News. Okay?

He kisses her.

Duke, hearing all this, crushes the branches in his fist.

Helen, hidden nearby and also hearing all this, grimaces,
and slips away.

89 EXT. BIRDIE'S VILLA - AFTERNOON 89

Peg storms out of Birdie's back patio, Birdie chasing her

BIRDIE
Peg wait -

PEG
Don't talk to me.

Birdie runs after her. When she's gone Helen dashes up and
grabs her colorful over-sized bag from a chair right inside
the patio door. Helen digs in the bag and retrieves her
PHONE. Checks it - still recording.

90 INT. ANDI'S VILLA - MINUTES LATER 90

Blanc and Helen sit with the phone between them as Helen
scans back through it, finding...

PEG (ON RECORDING)
What did he mean, "it's her only
chance?"

BIRDIE (ON RECORDING)
What does ANYTHING mean?

PEG (ON RECORDING)
Bird! I swear to god! Tell me!

91 INT. BIRDIE'S VILLA - FLASHBACK - AFTERNOON 91

We see the convo we're hearing, Birdie in tears, Peg fuming.

BIRDIE
I'm going to sign the statement. I'm
going to take total responsibility

(CONTINUED)

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91 CONTINUED: 91

PEG BIRDIE
This will crush us! There's
no coming back from this! The story is going to break
No, Bird, don't sign it, there's no stopping it -

PEG
We'll do what we always do, deny,
half apologize, go silent awhile, I
can handle this -

Birdie pulls a phone from the folds of her dress, hands it
to Peg.

PEG (cont'd)
What is this?!

BIRDIE
My secret phone.

Peg glares at her. Then looks at the email on the screen.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Intriguing

Summary Duke's spying leads to Helen's discovery and the theft of a phone containing Birdie's confession. Miles' refusal to feature Duke on Alpha News crushes his hopes, while Birdie's decision to sign a statement incurs Peg's wrath.

Strengths

Intriguing dialogue
Complex character dynamics
High stakes and tension

Weaknesses

Some moments of confusion due to the complexity of the plot

General Critique

The scene transitions from Duke watching Miles and Whiskey through a window to Helen and Blanc creeping up on him are a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
The dialogue between Whiskey and Miles feels a bit forced and could be more natural and subtle in revealing their intentions.
The actions of Duke crushing branches in his fist and Helen grimacing could be more impactful and reflective of their emotions.
The interaction between Birdie and Peg feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more depth and emotional intensity.
The revelation of Birdie's secret phone and the email on the screen could be built up more to create a stronger sense of tension and intrigue.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider refining the transitions between different character perspectives to make them more seamless.
Work on making the dialogue between Whiskey and Miles more nuanced and realistic to enhance the authenticity of their conversation.
Focus on enhancing the physical actions of Duke and Helen to better convey their emotions and reactions to the unfolding events.
Develop the interaction between Birdie and Peg to add layers of complexity and depth to their conflict and decision-making process.
Build up the revelation of Birdie's secret phone and the email on the screen to create a more suspenseful and engaging moment.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

PEG
What's this?

BIRDIE
An email. With the Sweety Pants
contractor. Two years ago.

PEG
(reading)
"Ms. Jay, wanted to alert you that
the proposed Bangladesh factory is
notoriously one of the world's
biggest sweat shops. Please advise."
And then you replied... "Sounds
perfect, thanks!" With your me-moji.
Dabbing.

Peg is gutted. Then, after a long beat, it dawns on her.
Very, very slowly:

PEG (cont'd)
Birdie. Please tell me you didn't
think "sweat shops"... were where
they make sweat pants.

Birdie stares back at her. A second too long.

PEG (cont'd)
Oh my god.

(CONTINUED)

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91 CONTINUED: (2) 91

BIRDIE
Miles is going to pay me off. He said
if I take full responsibility for the
sweat shops he'll pay me the value of
my shares, thirty million. I'll do
what I have to do to save myself.
He's my only lifeline.

92 INT. ANDI'S VILLA 92

BIRDIE (ON RECORDING)
Can I have my secret phone back?

PEG (ON RECORDING)
NO.

Helen stops the recording. Helen glumly ticks off Birdie and
Duke's "M"s. A full card.

HELEN
This never happens in Clue.

BLANC
That's because it's a terrible game.

HELEN
They all had a motive to protect
Miles, and all of them were there
that night. Now what, detective?

Blanc paces, deep in thought. Then:

BLANC
The envelope. Whoever killed your
sister took that envelope to protect
Miles. They wouldn't just destroy it.
They would want him to see what they
did for him.

HELEN
They brought it here. It's here.
So how do we find it?

BLANC
Unless someone brings an attache case
to dinner, they won't have an
envelope that size on their person.
They'll have to hide it in their
room. So. At dinner tonight.

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105.

93 INT. ATRIUM - NIGHT 93

MILES
Andi! I'm hoping it's still whiskey
soda.

Everyone gathered for drinks. Helen picks up the whiskey
soda, but Blanc wide-eyed shakes his head at her, and she
stashes it behind a statue.

BLANC (O.C.)
Keep your head clear. Stay sharp.

Mona Lisa's eyes watching the gathering below.

BLANC (O.C.) (cont'd)
Because you have to find a way...

ANDI (O.S.)
I just want the truth.

DING. SHHHTICK. The glass slides down in front of the Mona
Lisa's eyes.

Cut to: we're later in the night. Helen takes Duke's rant.

DUKE (O.S.)
I can give you that.

We stick on Helen's face as Duke gets in her face, giving
his spiel, but we hear Blanc:

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Intriguing, Serious

Summary Peg confronts Birdie about authorizing a sweatshop factory, exposing Birdie's ignorance and Miles's bribe to protect her. Helen investigates the suspects' motives, uncovering potential cover-ups. Amidst the tension, Blanc cautions Helen as the Mona Lisa painting is concealed.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Suspenseful atmosphere
Revelation of crucial information

Weaknesses

Some characters' motives may need further development

General Critique

The scene starts with Peg discovering an email from two years ago about a Bangladesh factory known for sweatshop labor, which Birdie approved without understanding the term 'sweat shops'. This lack of awareness can be seen as unrealistic or exaggerated.
The revelation that Miles is going to pay Birdie off for taking responsibility for the sweatshops feels rushed and lacks depth in terms of character motivation and development.
The transition to Helen listening to a recording of Birdie and Peg discussing the secret phone feels disjointed and abrupt, lacking a smooth flow of events.
The dialogue between Helen and Blanc about the motives of the suspects and the importance of finding the envelope feels a bit forced and overly explanatory, taking away from the natural progression of the scene.
The scene ends with a shift to Miles offering Andi a drink, which seems disconnected from the previous focus on the email and the recording, leaving the audience with a lack of cohesion in the narrative.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more context or background information to Birdie's approval of the sweatshop factory to make it more believable and grounded in reality.
Develop Birdie's decision to take the payoff from Miles more thoroughly, exploring her internal conflict and the reasons behind her choice in a more nuanced way.
Smooth out the transition between different elements of the scene, such as the discovery of the email, the recording, and the conversation between Helen and Blanc, to create a more seamless narrative flow.
Focus on integrating the dialogue and interactions between characters more organically to avoid coming across as overly explanatory or forced.
Ensure a cohesive narrative thread throughout the scene by maintaining a consistent focus on the central plot points and character dynamics.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BLANC (O.C.)
A way that is so painfully
uncomfortable, nobody will question
it or follow you. Pick a fight and
lose. We have to find that envelope.

Every ounce of Helen's being wants to punch Duke out.

DUKE
You're the loser. That's the truth.

Helen's staring hard back at Duke. Then drops her eyes.
Convincingly broken. She folds. And slinks out of the room
in tears.

DUKE (cont'd)
There's the Andi I know!

DING. SHHHTICK. On her way out she passes Whiskey, smoking
just outside the main door.

(CONTINUED)

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106.
93 CONTINUED: 93

HELEN
He's a son of a bitch Whiskey. Leave
his ass.

And walks off into the night. Whiskey watches her go.

94 EXT. GROUNDS - NIGHT 94

As soon as she's out of sight Helen SPRINTS through the
grounds. First into:

95 INT. CLAIRE'S VILLA - NIGHT 95

She bursts in and starts tearing the place apart.

BLANC (O.C.)
Search their rooms, ransack them,
fast and thorough - don't worry about
being neat.

Some Claire-like clothes, a stash of pot (which she pockets)
iPads and laptops, a magic wand vibrator, Helen rips through
it all and when she's done the room looks like a tornado hit
it. But no envelope.

96 EXT. GROUNDS - NIGHT 96

Helen sprints, the glowing glass onion structure looming
above her. PUSH in on it, time ticking away...

97 INT. ATRIUM - NIGHT 97

Miles cheering Birdie as she SPINS in her rainbow dress...

98 INT. BIRDIE'S VILLA - NIGHT 98

Gorgeous dresses and beach wraps and LOTS of prescription
pills, and a dog eared copy of Ayn Rand's "The
Fountainhead." Huh. Helen feels her phone buzz in her
pocket.

99 INT. ATRIUM - NIGHT 99

Duke, having just downed his drink, GRASPS HIS THROAT.

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107.

100 INT. LIONEL'S VILLA 100

Stylish Lionel clothes and computer equipment and condoms
and LSD micro-doses. Another BUZZ of Helen's phone but she
doesn't check it.

101 INT. ATRIUM - NIGHT 101

In the aftermath of Duke's death, Whiskey staggers away from
the group, sobbing, and runs off into the night...

102 INT. DEROL'S VILLA - NIGHT 102

A cluttered comfortable mess. Helen bursts in. Derol sits in
an incongruous E-Z BOY chair watching tv.

DEROL
Hey.

HELEN
Oh. Hi. Sorry.

She runs right out.

DEROL
Wanna hang out?

103 INT. DUKE'S VILLA - NIGHT 103

Helen runs in, panting, exhausted. Her phone BUZZES again.

She finally checks it. 37 NEW MESSAGES.

HELEN
What the hell?

She opens her message app and reacts in horror. Dozens of
new messages from friends, all with variants of "Helen you
ok?" "Just saw - call when you can" "OMG Helen I'm so sorry"
"Just heard the news"

Her stomach sinks. She opens her browser and searches
"CASSANDRA BRAND" and instantly fresh news stories pop up -
"CASSANDRA BRAND DEAD OF APPARENT SUICIDE, POLICE CONFIRM."

HELEN (cont'd)
Oh shit.

(CONTINUED)

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108.
103 CONTINUED: 103

One quick second of fear. Then she pockets her phone and
LAUNCHES back to the task at hand - searching the final
villa, Duke's - gun magazines, spear fishing gear, weights,
athletic wear... she runs into the bathroom, finds LOTS of
viagra but no envelope.

Exhausted and defeated, her phone still buzzing in her
pocket, she trudges back into the bedroom.

A WOMAN SCREAMS.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Emotional

Summary Helen, instructed by Blanc to distract Duke, pretends to be heartbroken and leaves the room. She sprints through the grounds and ransacks villas for an envelope, receiving messages about Cassandra Brand's death that cause her horror.

Strengths

Building suspense
Revealing important information
Emotional depth
Character-driven

Weaknesses

Possible lack of clarity in some character motivations
Slight confusion in the sequence of events

General Critique

The scene starts with a strong sense of urgency and tension as Helen is instructed to pick a fight with Duke and lose in order to distract him while searching for an envelope. However, the transition from the confrontation with Duke to Helen ransacking Claire's villa feels a bit abrupt and could benefit from a smoother transition.
The scene lacks a clear connection between Helen's emotional state and her actions. While she convincingly pretends to be broken and leaves the room in tears, her subsequent actions of tearing apart Claire's villa and searching other villas for the envelope feel disconnected from her emotional state.
The pacing of the scene could be improved by providing more context or internal monologue to explain Helen's motivations and actions. This would help the audience better understand her decisions and make her character more relatable.
The introduction of multiple locations and characters in quick succession, such as Birdie's villa and Lionel's villa, without clear transitions or connections to the main plot can be confusing for the audience and disrupt the flow of the scene.
The revelation of Cassandra Brand's death through Helen's phone messages adds an unexpected twist to the scene, but the impact of this revelation could be heightened by exploring Helen's emotional reaction and how it influences her subsequent actions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue to provide insight into Helen's emotional state and motivations throughout the scene.
Ensure a smoother transition between different locations and characters to maintain coherence and clarity in the storytelling.
Focus on developing Helen's character arc and emotional journey to create a more compelling and relatable narrative.
Clarify the connection between Helen's search for the envelope and the revelation of Cassandra Brand's death to enhance the emotional impact and thematic resonance of the scene.
Consider revising the pacing and structure of the scene to build tension and suspense effectively, leading to a more impactful and cohesive narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Helen freezes.

Whiskey has just walked in, her makeup streaked with tears.
But she screamed in reaction to the ransacked room. A
distant DONG.

WHISKEY
Andi?

HELEN
I... can explain this

Then realizes, terrified

HELEN (cont'd)
Whiskey is the party over?

Overwhelmed and stammering with tears

WHISKEY
What? No! I left - Duke - I left -
because I couldn't - he didn't
deserve this

Helen thinks Whiskey is talking about walking out on Duke.
Forcefully in a "fuck that guy" way:

HELEN
Yes he did. He's a bastard, I'm not
sorry for him, he deserved it.
You're better off without him.

Whiskey stares at Helen. Something dawning in her eyes.

She GRABS the spear fishing gun and AIMS it at Helen

HELEN (cont'd)
WHAT THE FUCK?

SNAP! The lights go out. Pitch black. Whiskey FREAKS OUT,
SCREAMING

(CONTINUED)

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109.
103 CONTINUED: (2) 103

WHISKEY HELEN
AH! AH! AH! DON'T! DON'T AH! WHAT! AH! I'M NOT GOING
KILL ME! TO KILL YOU YOU CRAZY BITCH

The light sweeps the room and Helen DIVES past Whiskey, who
thinks she's charging her, spins and FIRES the spear gun.

Helen SCRAMBLES off Duke's balcony and into the darkness as
the spear STICKS into a sculpture.

104 EXT. GROUNDS - NIGHT 104

Pitch black. Helen RUNS towards the glass onion, at the end
of her rope

HELEN
Aaaaaaauuuugghhhh

105 INT. HALLWAYS - NIGHT 105

Helen bursts in, weaves and twists blindly through dark
halls. Stops - up ahead she sees MILES turn a corner. The
light sweeps over her.

BLANC (O.S.)
Andi!

She turns in the direction of his voice.

HELEN
Blanc...

She darts off towards it. When she's gone LIONEL emerges
into the hall, looks around.

106 EXT. THE GLASS ONION - NIGHT 106

Helen runs along the outside

HELEN
Blanc where are you -

He steps out and she RUNS into him. In the jostle we hear:

BLANC
Helen!

HELEN
Blanc!

(CONTINUED)

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110.
106 CONTINUED: 106

BLANC
Listen - there's great danger, we
have no time - did you take Duke's
gun?

HELEN
Why would I take Duke's gun? And why
are the lights -

BLANC
Duke is dead.

HELEN
What?!

During all this the pitch black window looms ominously
behind them.

BLANC
No time - did you find the envelope?

HELEN
No. All the rooms, it isn't there.

BLANC
I've been a fool - there is one more
room to search.

HELEN
(realizes)
They already gave it to Miles. It's
in the Glass Onion.

BLANC
If I can distract everyone and you
can get up there and find it -

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Terrifying

Summary Helen and Whiskey discover the ransacked room and confront each other. Whiskey, who had left Duke, screams in reaction to the destruction. Helen tells her that Duke deserved it, thinking she is referring to leaving him. Whiskey points a spear gun at Helen, then the lights go out, and Helen dives past her, causing Whiskey to fire the spear gun into a sculpture. Helen meets Blanc in the hallway, and he informs her that Duke is dead and that they must find an envelope that Miles has in the Glass Onion.

Strengths

Intense suspense
Compelling character interactions
Unexpected twists and revelations

Weaknesses

Some moments of confusion for the characters

General Critique

The scene starts with a strong sense of tension and suspense, which is effective in drawing the reader in.
The dialogue between Helen and Whiskey is emotional and impactful, but it could benefit from more clarity in terms of who they are referring to and what they are talking about.
The sudden shift in Whiskey's behavior, from crying to aiming a spear gun at Helen, feels a bit abrupt and could be better developed to make it more believable.
The action sequences involving the spear gun and Helen's escape are well-described and create a sense of urgency and danger.
The transition to the next scene is smooth and leaves the reader intrigued about what will happen next.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify the dialogue between Helen and Whiskey to ensure the reader can follow the conversation and understand the motivations behind their actions.
Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for Helen to provide insight into her mindset during the intense situation.
Provide more context or foreshadowing for Whiskey's sudden change in behavior to make it feel more organic and less jarring.
Continue to build suspense and tension throughout the scene to keep the reader engaged and eager to see the resolution in the following scenes.
Consider adding more sensory details to enhance the atmosphere and immerse the reader in the dark and chaotic setting.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

HELEN
But that won't tell us who gave it to
him! I don't understand -

BLANC
Please trust me, it's all in plain
sight, we only need one last piece of
information, and only you can -

BANG!

The glass shatters. Helen flies back on to the steps. Blanc
spins - footsteps run away. Blanc turns back to Helen
splayed out on the stairs. Breath caught in his throat.

(CONTINUED)

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111.
106 CONTINUED: (2) 106

Helen groans. Then sits up, the bullet hole in her chest
smoking. She and Blanc look at each other, confused.

And pulls Andi's journal from her jacket pocket... the slug
embedded in its front.

HELEN
Son of a bitch ah - Blanc what are
you doing, go! Go chase them, get
them - Blanc?

Blanc's face is frozen as his mind races. He looks from
Helen to the broken window to the Glass Onion above them.

BLANC
The killer thinks you're dead. This
is our cover.

As if in a trance he reaches into his jacket pocket...

And pulls out the bottle of JEREMY RENNER'S HOT SAUCE.

Helen sees him do this. Then with laser focus:

BLANC (cont'd)
I can buy you maybe five minutes
alone in the Glass Onion, and you
have to

HELEN
I will

BLANC
You HAVE to find that envelope

HELEN
I will, gimme -

She grabs the bottle from him, he backs off as she twists
off the top, splashes it all over her chest, and lies back,
playing dead. She realizes she still has the hot sauce in
her hand, goes to toss it -

BLANC
Wait! No, give me that - this'll be
good.

He takes it from her, rubs a dab under each eye, pockets it.
His eyes redden and tear up - perfect - but in another few
seconds he's clutching his face in pain.

BLANC (cont'd)
Oh SHITBALLS!

(CONTINUED)

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112.
106 CONTINUED: (3) 106

HELEN
Blanc!

BLANC
Yes

He pulls it together. Breathes through the pain.

SNAP. The lights come on. Everyone appears in the windows.

CLOSE UP: Helen's face. Hot sauce runs into her nose and she
tries desperately to keep still as in the background the
scene plays out.

CLAIRE
Oh god

BLANC
Everyone, inside. Right now.

CLAIRE
Shouldn't we -

BLANC
She's not going anywhere. Inside.
It's time to finish this.

The instant they're gone Helen GETS UP and DASHES inside.

107 INT. HALLWAYS - NIGHT 107

Helen silently dodges through the hallways and up a set of
stairs. Down the hall we hear distant:

MILES
It makes no sense.

BLANC (O.S.)
It makes perfect sense. Duke, Andi,
this weekend this ridiculous game
that started well before we got to
this island.

108 INT. LOUNGE AREA - CONTINUOUS 108

The suspects gathered, Blanc doing his thing.

LIONEL
Will you explain it to us then
Detective?

(CONTINUED)

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Mysterious

Summary Helen and Blanc are interrupted by a gunshot through the window, Helen is hit but the bullet is lodged in Andi's journal. Blanc realizes the killer thinks Helen is dead and uses this to create a cover for her to investigate the Glass Onion. Helen agrees to find an envelope while Blanc distracts the others. Blanc applies hot sauce to his eyes to make it appear as if he has been injured, and Helen grabs the bottle to use as a weapon. Blanc instructs everyone to go inside, and Helen takes this opportunity to sneak into the Glass Onion.

Strengths

High-stakes situation
Suspenseful atmosphere
Sharp dialogue
Innovative use of hot sauce as a disguise

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too complex for casual viewers to follow without prior context

General Critique

The scene starts with a sudden gunshot, which creates a sense of urgency and tension, but the aftermath is not fully explored.
There is a lack of clarity in the action sequences, making it difficult to follow the movements of the characters.
The dialogue between Blanc and Helen feels rushed and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to delve into their emotions and motivations.
The use of the hot sauce as a disguise and distraction feels contrived and unrealistic, detracting from the seriousness of the situation.
Blanc's sudden pain from the hot sauce comes across as comical and breaks the tension of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Provide more detail and description in the aftermath of the gunshot to fully explore the impact on the characters.
Clarify the action sequences by clearly describing the movements and interactions of the characters.
Enhance the dialogue between Blanc and Helen to add depth to their characters and motivations.
Consider a more realistic and effective method for Helen to create a cover for herself, rather than using hot sauce.
Maintain the tension and seriousness of the scene by avoiding comedic elements like Blanc's reaction to the hot sauce.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

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113.
108 CONTINUED: 108

BLANC
No, I can peel back the layers, I can
take it to a point, but what lies at
the center, only one person can tell
us who killed Cassandra Brand.

CLAIRE
WHO?

BLANC
(beat)
I keep returning in my mind to the
"glass onion."

109 INT. THE GLASS ONION - NIGHT 109

Helen bursts into the large office space. Nearly everything
is made of lucite or glass, there are nearly no containers
or places to stash a large red envelope.

We hear the continuation of Blanc's denouement clearly, as
if it's voice over:

BLANC (O.C.)
Something that seems densely layered,
mysterious and inscrutable, but in
fact the center is in plain sight.

Helen darts around the room, but it's all infuriatingly
clean and open.

HELEN
Where where where where...

110 INT. LOUNGE AREA 110

BLANC
And that is why this case has
confounded me like no other, why
every complex layer peeled back has
revealed another layer and another
layer and come to naught. And that
was the problem!

111 INT. THE GLASS ONION 111

Helen looks up and sees something, freezes. The framed
NAPKIN and PHOTO of her sister and Miles.

(CONTINUED)

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114.
111 CONTINUED: 111

BLANC (O.C.)
You see, I expected complexity! I
expected intelligence! I expected a
puzzle, a game, but that is not what
any of this is!

She steps towards it as if in a trance.

The photo and napkin. Framed. Against a red background.

BLANC (O.S.)
It hides not behind complexity but
behind mind numbing obvious clarity!
Truth is, it does not hide at all! I
was staring right at it!

She pulls it off the wall and the red envelope FALLS onto
the table beneath it. The frame itself is clear, just like
everything else in the room.

She holds them both, the framed napkin/picture in one hand,
the red envelope in the other.

112 INT. LOUNGE AREA 112

BLANC
The killer nearly struck my Achilles
heel. But thank high heaven, at the
last moment, I realized what has
teased my brain through this entire
case!

He spins on his heel, to Miles:

BLANC (cont'd)
"Embreathiate" is not a word!

LIONEL
What?

113 EXT. BEACH - FLASHBACK - DAY 113

When they all first arrived, Miles:

MILES
Let's all embreathiate this moment.

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115.

114 INT. LOUNGE AREA 114

BLANC
Not a real word. Kinda sounds like
one. But just entirely made up.
"Reclamation" IS a word - but it is
the wrong word!

115 EXT. THE GLASS ONION - FLASHBACK - DAY 115

When Miles is first showing them around:

MILES
This place is the reclamation of
everything I've ever accomplished

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Intriguing, Suspenseful, Revealing, Intense

Summary Helen frantically searches the Glass Onion and finds a framed photo of her sister and Miles with a red background, along with a red envelope underneath it. Blanc continues his speech, revealing inconsistencies in Miles' word choice, indicating his guilt.

Strengths

Effective tension-building
Revealing key information
Symbolic use of 'glass onion' metaphor

Weaknesses

Limited character development
Some dialogue may be overly expository

General Critique

The scene transitions smoothly from Blanc's denouement to Helen bursting into the Glass Onion, creating a sense of urgency and intrigue.
The use of Blanc's voiceover as Helen searches the room adds depth and continuity to the scene.
The frustration and desperation felt by Helen as she searches for the red envelope are effectively conveyed through her actions and dialogue.
Blanc's realization about the simplicity of the truth being in plain sight adds a layer of complexity and mystery to the scene.
The revelation of the framed napkin and photo of Helen's sister and Miles creates a pivotal moment of discovery and sets the stage for the next steps in the investigation.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual and sensory details to enhance the atmosphere of the Glass Onion and immerse the audience in the scene.
Explore the emotional and psychological impact of Helen's discovery of the framed napkin and photo to deepen her character development.
Introduce a sense of tension and suspense as Blanc confronts Miles with his findings to heighten the dramatic impact of the scene.
Consider incorporating subtle clues or foreshadowing elements throughout the scene to engage the audience and build anticipation for the resolution.
Ensure that the dialogue and interactions between characters reflect their motivations and relationships to create a more dynamic and engaging scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

116 INT. LOUNGE AREA 116

BLANC
This entire day -

117 INT. DISPLAY GARAGE - FLASHBACK - DAY 117

Miles first confronting Blanc about the invitation:

MILES
...the predefinite detective...

118 INT. LOUNGE AREA 118

BLANC
- a veritable minefield of
malapropisms

119 EXT. POOL - FLASHBACK - DAY 119

All lounging, Miles telling the Sweety Pants story:

MILES
...the infraction point...

120 INT. LOUNGE AREA 120

BLANC
and factual errors!

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116.

121 INT. DINING AREA - FLASHBACK - EVENING 121

MILES
bask in the sun, swim in the Ionian
Sea

122 INT. LOUNGE AREA 122

Blanc points out the window.

BLANC
That's the Aegean sea.

CLAIRE
Oh wait, yeah it is...

BLANC
His dock doesn't float, his wonder
fuel is a disaster, his grasp of
disruption theory is remedial at
best, he didn't design the puzzle
boxes, he didn't write the mystery -
and voila, it all adds up, the key to
this entire case, and it was staring
me right in the face. Like everyone
in the world I assumed that Miles
Bron was a complicated genius. But
why? Look into the clear center of
this glass onion:
(beat)
Miles Bron is an idiot!

Everyone shifts uncomfortably. Miles rolls his eyes.

MILES
Oh please. Just tell us, who tried to
kill me?

BLANC
Nobody tried to kill you, you
vainglorious buffoon.

MILES
But Duke. Duke took my glass.

BLANC
That's what you told us he did. "he
must have picked it up by mistake..."
you told us, right after it happened.

(CONTINUED)

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117.
122 CONTINUED: 122
FLASHBACK - As Miles cheers on Birdie spinning in her dress,
Duke reaches without looking for his glass and grabs Miles's
instead.

Back to scene.

BLANC (cont'd)
After you said those words that's
what we all remember seeing. But
think, ignore his lies everyone and
think clearly now - what did we all
actually see?

FLASHBACK - This is the actual piece of footage that
originally happened, the same angle, the same take,
everything - As Birdie spins in her dress in the foreground,
in the background Miles openly and clearly HANDS HIS GLASS
TO DUKE.

Back to scene.

BLANC (cont'd)
You handed Duke your own glass.
Clear as crystal. Right in front of
our eyes. All of us. Then told a bald
faced fabrication. And it worked!

LIONEL
Blanc. Are you saying Miles murdered
Duke?

BLANC
Yes!

LIONEL
Why?

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Revealing, Confrontational

Summary In this tense scene in the lounge, Blanc confronts Miles with his theory that Miles is actually an idiot and accuses him of murdering Duke. Blanc points out that Miles handed Duke his own glass and then lied about it, leading to suspicion. Lionel questions Blanc's theory, creating conflict as Blanc accuses Miles of murder.

Strengths

Intriguing plot twists
Tense atmosphere
Sharp dialogue
Revealing character dynamics

Weaknesses

Some elements may be confusing without prior context

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition between the flashbacks and the present, making it confusing for the audience to follow the timeline.
The dialogue between Blanc and Miles feels forced and lacks subtlety, making the reveal of Miles being an idiot seem abrupt and unrealistic.
The shift in tone from a serious accusation of murder to a comedic reveal of Miles being an idiot is jarring and undermines the gravity of the situation.
The flashback sequences are not seamlessly integrated into the present scene, disrupting the flow of the narrative.
The scene relies heavily on exposition and dialogue to convey important information, which can make it feel heavy-handed and unnatural.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to have a clearer transition between the flashbacks and the present timeline.
Work on developing more nuanced and realistic dialogue between Blanc and Miles to make the reveal of Miles being an idiot more impactful.
Maintain a consistent tone throughout the scene to ensure that the gravity of the accusations and revelations is effectively conveyed.
Integrate the flashback sequences more smoothly into the present scene to maintain the flow of the narrative.
Find ways to convey important information through actions and visuals rather than relying solely on exposition and dialogue.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BLANC
Because the night Andi sent you all
the email, when Duke got to Andi's
house early on his motorcycle -

123 EXT. ANDI'S HOUSE - FLASHBACK - EVENING 123

Duke zipping down the road, he is almost PLOWED OVER by
Miles in his distinctive blue Porsche.

BLANC (O.C.)
He saw Miles leaving. Was almost
struck by him.

(CONTINUED)

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123 CONTINUED: 123

Miles doesn't stop but keeps zooming off. Duke watches him
go, shaking his head, then continues to Andi's house.

BLANC (O.S.)
In fact he told all of us, right out
in the open clear as day he told us -

124 EXT. POOL - FLASHBACK - DAY 124

The painting of the Porsche on the wall. The mix is a TINY
bit different this time and we clearly hear Duke complete
his sentence over Miles cutting him off:

DUKE MILES
Iconic. Remember you almost
pancaked me with it on the
road that night at Andi's Anderson Cooper's birthday,
in Spain, my god.

125 INT. LOUNGE AREA - NIGHT 125

BLANC
That night. At Andi's.

CLAIRE
And that night he told us, he almost
had an accident... pancaked...

LIONEL
But that was - Miles has been in
Greece for the past six months.

BLANC
No. Whiskey. Miles saw you on your
birthday in New York. Gave you that
necklace. For your birthday.

Blanc motions to her necklace.

BLANC (cont'd)
And you're a Taurus.

WHISKEY
I am. Two weeks ago. May ninth.

BLANC
Forget the hydrofuels and sweat shops
and consentual cuckolding for cable
news assignments

(CONTINUED)

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125 CONTINUED: 125

PEG
Sorry what?

BLANC
Focus... on the envelope!

He dramatically points and they all turn. Helen, still
covered in hot sauce, stands on the stairs.

Birdie SCREAMS.

CLAIRE PEG
Holy shit! Oh my god

LIONEL
Andi!

BIRDIE
WHAT IS REALITY??

Miles stands, looking at Helen, pale. But Helen calmly paces
into the room, holding the frame and the red envelope.

BLANC
Who did the envelope threaten? Miles
Bron.

126 INT. AEROSPACE FACTORY - FLASHBACK - AFTERNOON 126

Lionel looks around guiltily, feeding a printout of Andi's
email into a FAX machine.

BLANC (O.C.)
That night. Lionel faxed Andi's email
to Miles.

127 INT. NEW YORK PENTHOUSE - FLASHBACK - AFTERNOON 127

Miles in a robe receives it, reading it, troubled.

BLANC (O.C.)
Who received it, in New York.
(beat)
The one thing that can destroy his
empire of lies: the truth. In the
hands of the only person unafraid to
tell it.

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120.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Intriguing

Summary Blanc discloses Miles' visit to Whiskey in New York on her birthday, when he gifted her a necklace. Lionel's involvement in faxing Andi's incriminating email to Miles is revealed. As Helen enters the room holding the frame and red envelope, the scene ends with Birdie's shocked exclamation and Miles' ashen expression.

Strengths

Suspenseful atmosphere
Intriguing plot twists
Complex character dynamics
High-stakes conflict

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly dramatic or convoluted
Certain plot points may require further clarification or development

General Critique

The scene transitions between flashbacks and present-day events can be confusing for the audience to follow.
There is a lot of information being revealed in a short amount of time, which can make it overwhelming for the viewers.
The dialogue feels a bit disjointed and could benefit from more natural flow and pacing.
The dramatic pointing and sudden reactions from the characters, like Birdie screaming, may come across as forced and melodramatic.
The revelation about Miles being in New York on Whiskey's birthday feels abrupt and could use more build-up or context.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to have a clearer timeline and smoother transitions between past and present events.
Break down the information being revealed into smaller, more digestible chunks to avoid overwhelming the audience.
Work on refining the dialogue to sound more organic and realistic, ensuring it flows naturally.
Tone down the dramatic gestures and reactions to make the scene feel more grounded and believable.
Provide more context or hints leading up to the revelation about Miles being in New York on Whiskey's birthday to make it feel more integrated into the narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

128 EXT. ANDI'S HOUSE ROAD - FLASHBACK - LATE AFTERNOON 128

Miles flies down the country road in his Porsche.

BLANC (O.C.)
So. Miles drives his baby blue
Porsche,

129 INT. ATRIUM 129

Blanc stares "you idiot" daggers at Miles

BLANC
his one of a kind, signature baby
blue Porsche, to the scene of the
crime.

130 EXT. ANDI'S HOUSE - FLASHBACK - LATE AFTERNOON 130

Miles's car parked out front.

BLANC (O.C.)
And she let him in.

131 INT. ANDI'S KITCHEN - FLASHBACK - LATE AFTERNOON 131

Miles at Andi's kitchen table, both drinking tea. He talks
gently, beseeching. She watches him coldly.

BLANC (O.C.)
Of course she did. Miles's machine of
lawyers and power could burn her
through sheer dumb force but Miles
himself? She was clever enough to not
fear Miles.

Andi's head droops. She looks up at Miles as her
consciousness slips from her grasp, and she realizes what is
happening.

BLANC
No. She did not see the real threat,
the obvious threat, until it was too
late.

But Miles has become distracted. By a spider on the table.
He gently scoops it up and lets it out an open window.

(CONTINUED)

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131 CONTINUED: 131

BLANC (cont'd)
And one final time, she was pulled
in. And succumbed.

One glint of horrible realization in her eyes. And she slips
away, her head hitting the table.

132 INT. LOUNGE AREA - NIGHT 132

Miles looks from Helen, tears of rage in her eyes, to Blanc
with a blankness that is terrifying.

BLANC
Duke alone knew you were there that
night. But he didn't know Andi was
dead. He didn't know that... until
this evening. Right here. When he got
a google alert on his phone, which
has now fallen strangely silent. And
which he showed to you.
(beat)
Because you don't own a phone.

On Miles's thin jacket, a very faint rectangular outline has
been visible since the lights came back on. Blanc touches
it, revealing a phone in Miles's jacket pocket.

Blanc takes it as Miles just stares. A lion sticker on the
back of the phone.

WHISKEY
Duke...

FLASHBACK - As everyone gathers around Duke, Miles
surreptitiously scoops up his fallen phone.

BACK TO SCENE -

HELEN
Did Miles think he could stop them
all from finding out about Andi's
death? They all have phones.

All the suspects, who have been caught up in the moment,
suddenly realize this and all pull out their phones at once,
checking the news. All but Birdie, who reaches for hers but
still doesn't have it.

BIRDIE
(to Peg)
Peggy? Phone?

(CONTINUED)

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132 CONTINUED: 132

PEG
(reading her phone)
No.

BLANC
He didn't need to hide the death. He
only had to hide that Duke had shown
him the death moments before he was
killed.

133 INT. LOUNGE AREA - FLASHBACK - EARLIER THAT NIGHT 133

Duke shows the phone to Miles, but this time we see the news
story is about Andi's death.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Revealing

Summary Miles's manipulative nature and cunning are exposed as he uses his power to isolate Andi. Blanc's keen observation and insight lead him to piece together the clues and reveal Miles's involvement. Helen's anger and determination fuel her desire for justice for her sister. The discovery of the phone in Miles's jacket and his role in informing Duke about Andi's demise unravel the web of deceit he has spun.

Strengths

Suspenseful atmosphere
Revealing dialogue
Emotional depth
Plot progression

Weaknesses

Complexity of information
Potential confusion for the audience

General Critique

The scene transitions between flashbacks and present time can be confusing for the audience. It may be helpful to clearly differentiate between the two time periods.
The dialogue between Blanc and Miles could be more impactful and intense to heighten the tension in the scene.
The visual of Miles becoming distracted by a spider while Andi is slipping away may not effectively convey the gravity of the situation. Consider a different visual element to emphasize Andi's realization and Miles's distraction.
The revelation of Miles hiding a phone in his jacket pocket feels slightly contrived. It may be more effective to foreshadow this detail earlier in the script to make it feel more organic and less like a plot device.
The moment when all the suspects check their phones simultaneously could come across as forced. Consider a more natural way to reveal that they all have phones and are checking the news about Andi's death.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify the transitions between flashbacks and present time to avoid confusion for the audience.
Enhance the dialogue between Blanc and Miles to increase the tension and drama in the scene.
Consider using a different visual element to emphasize Andi's realization and Miles's distraction for a more impactful moment.
Foreshadow the detail of Miles hiding a phone in his jacket pocket earlier in the script to make the revelation feel more organic.
Find a more natural way to reveal that all the suspects have phones and are checking the news about Andi's death to avoid a forced moment.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BLANC (O.C.)
Right in the open, Duke showed him.

DUKE
This changes everything doesn't it?

MILES
It sure does.

BLANC (O.C.)
He showed him, and told him what he
wanted in return for his silence.

DUKE
Numbers like this, maybe we can talk
Alpha News?

Miles goes to the bar cart and fixes a drink, hips swinging

MILES
you bet your ass, come here.

Miles at the bar cart, putting ice and whiskey in his glass.

BLANC (O.C.)
And so what does Miles do?

134 INT. LOUNGE AREA - NIGHT 134

HELEN
Does he keep a vial of poison in his
tooth or something, is that a rich
person thing?

(CONTINUED)

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134 CONTINUED: 134

BLANC
No! No it's so much stupider than
that! Birdie, what is in your Cuban
Breeze?

BIRDIE
Vodka, amaretto...

WHISKEY
Oh god...

135 INT. LOUNGE AREA - FLASHBACK - NIGHT 135

The bar cart. Miles quietly reaches for the can of

BIRDIE (O.S.)
...and pineapple juice.

He puts a tiny bit in the whiskey. Looks up at Duke.

BLANC (O.S.)
Yes! Pineapple juice!

136 INT. LOUNGE AREA - NIGHT 136

BLANC
Duke does not dance with pineapple!
An allergy?

WHISKEY
He can't even have a drop.

BLANC
Pineapple juice! He just put
pineapple juice in his whiskey! My
god! It's so DUMB!

BIRDIE
So dumb it's brilliant

BLANC
No! It's just DUMB!

Lionel, Claire and Peg all finish reading the news, looking
from their phones to Helen.

LIONEL
"Survived by her sister Helen."

CLAIRE
"Helen."

(CONTINUED)

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124.
136 CONTINUED: 136

BIRDIE
Who? Oh, you told me about Helen
once, your twin sister OH WAIT!

Birdie points to Helen, hand in front of her mouth, finally
getting it.

BLANC
Helen Brand ladies and gentlemen.
(beat)
And now we come to Helen's attempted
murder. Which I have to give you
credit for, though it was spur of the
moment, it did have a sound
foundation of thought. The lights go
out.

137 INT. LOUNGE AREA - NIGHT - FLASHBACK 137

The light go out. Miles in the dark. But as he howls in
panic, his eyes are calculating, looking around.

BLANC
And you realize the opportunity laid
out in front of you. You have a house
on a remote island, full of desperate
people all of whom have reason to
wish this woman harm.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense, Intriguing

Summary Miles reveals Andi's death, prompting Helen to realize Miles is accusing her of attempted murder. Blanc explains Helen's plan, using the power outage as an opportunity. Miles strategically poisoned his drink with pineapple juice, knowing Duke's allergy, as Blanc uncovers.

Strengths

Suspenseful atmosphere
Intriguing plot twists
Complex character dynamics
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be confusing or unclear
Pacing could be improved in certain moments

General Critique

The scene transitions between different characters and locations, which can be confusing for the audience to follow.
The dialogue lacks clarity and purpose, making it difficult to understand the significance of the interactions between the characters.
The revelation of Miles putting pineapple juice in Duke's drink as a murder attempt feels contrived and lacks a strong connection to the overall plot.
The scene lacks a clear focus on advancing the main plot or resolving existing conflicts, leading to a disjointed narrative.
The flashback sequences are not seamlessly integrated into the present timeline, causing confusion for the audience.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Streamline the scene by focusing on one central conflict or revelation that drives the story forward.
Clarify the purpose of each character's actions and dialogue to ensure they contribute meaningfully to the overall plot.
Consider revising the murder attempt involving pineapple juice to make it more believable and impactful.
Ensure smooth transitions between different locations and timelines to maintain coherence in the storytelling.
Tighten the pacing of the scene to maintain audience engagement and momentum in the narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

138 INT. LOUNGE AREA - NIGHT 138

Having said these words, Blanc squints. Hm. But he plows on:

BLANC
Furthermore,

139 INT. LOUNGE AREA - FLASHBACK - NIGHT 139

BLANC (O.C.)
you had a loaded gun conveniently
within reach,

In the dark confusion Miles grabs Duke's gun.

140 INT. LOUNGE AREA - NIGHT 140

Again Blanc narrows his eyes, as if the words coming out of
his mouth are strange. Slowly:

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141 INT. HALLWAYS - FLASHBACK - NIGHT 141

Miles in the dark halls, pocketing Duke's phone, gun in
hand.

BLANC (O.C.)
and the lights had even been turned
off

142 INT. LOUNGE AREA - NIGHT 142

BLANC
OH MY GOD.

He's realized why all this sounded familiar.

143 INT. THE GLASS ONION - FLASHBACK - EVENING 143

The scene after Blanc ruined Miles's game. Blanc patiently
explains to Miles:

BLANC
You have taken seven people, each of
whom has a real life reason to wish
you harm, gathered them together on a
remote island, and placed the idea of
your murder in their heads. It's like
putting a loaded gun on the table and
turning off the lights.

144 INT. LOUNGE AREA 144

He turns to Miles, unbelieving.

BLANC
Oh you brainless jackass! Your one
murder with any panache at all and
you stole the whole idea from me!

145 INT. HALLWAYS - FLASHBACK - NIGHT 145

Blanc and Helen outside the window. Miles in the foreground
raises Duke's gun and takes careful aim at Helen.

FIRES.

The glass SPLINTERS out from a central hole.

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146 INT. LOUNGE AREA - NIGHT 146

Everyone in the room looking at Miles.

LIONEL
And after all that... you KEPT the
envelope? Why didn't you burn it or
something?

Miles looks blankly at him, like a confused dog. Blanc
gesticulates to Miles - "I rest my case."

Helen approaches Miles. Pulls the real, original NAPKIN from
the red envelope. Older and yellowed. The same diagram on it
as the framed one, but in a different hand.

HELEN
Recognize this? Andi's handwriting.
Gotcha, you son of a bitch.

MILES
Ok, let's slow down there sister -
First - How could you prove this is
the original? She could have copied
mine -

HELEN
No, because the bar closed nine years
ago. And hers has one thing yours
doesn't.

Helen moves her thumb revealing, embossed in fading letters
on the corner, the name of the bar. "THE GLASS ONION."

Miles nods coolly.

MILES
But second -

He ignites the LIGHTER in his hand. An eight inch long thin
blue jet of flame leaps out.

It spears the napkin. Which IGNITES like flash paper and in
a fraction of a second is turned into a crisp of ash, which
floats away.

SHHHHTICK! Down comes the Mona Lisa glass.

Helen can't even move, shocked. Horrified.

Miles turns, points and smiles to Lionel, like "thanks for
that great idea!"

(CONTINUED)

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146 CONTINUED: 146

Blanc dashes up to Helen.

BLANC
What did he do?

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Shocking

Summary Blanc confronts Miles about stealing his murder idea and reveals evidence. Miles confidently burns the incriminating evidence in front of everyone, seemingly resolving the conflict.

Strengths

Revealing twist about Miles
Intense conflict and tension
Sharp dialogue and impactful interactions

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too convoluted for easy comprehension

General Critique

The scene starts with Blanc accusing Miles of stealing his murder idea, which feels a bit abrupt and lacks a smooth transition from the previous scene.
Blanc's sudden realization about the familiarity of the situation seems forced and could be better integrated into the dialogue.
The dialogue between Blanc and Miles, especially Blanc calling Miles a 'brainless jackass,' feels a bit over-the-top and could be toned down for a more realistic confrontation.
The moment where Miles raises Duke's gun and takes aim at Helen lacks tension and suspense, which is crucial for such a pivotal moment in the scene.
The resolution of the scene with Helen revealing the original napkin and Miles burning it feels rushed and anticlimactic, considering the buildup of tension throughout the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more buildup and tension to the confrontation between Blanc and Miles to make the accusation more impactful.
Integrate Blanc's realization about the familiarity of the situation more smoothly into the dialogue to make it feel more natural.
Adjust the dialogue between Blanc and Miles to strike a balance between confrontation and realism, avoiding overly dramatic language.
Enhance the suspense and intensity of the moment where Miles aims the gun at Helen to create a more gripping climax.
Extend the resolution of the scene to allow for a more satisfying conclusion, building on the tension and conflict that has been established.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

HELEN
He burned it.

MILES
Burned what? That was so weird.

HELEN
He just burned it.

MILES
I don't see anything?

BLANC
This will not stand -

MILES
Blanc, did you see this proof? No?
Did anybody?

Everyone looks at each other, then back to him. They aren't
going to contradict him.

MILES (cont'd)
Then WOW - we've got some wild
accusations of murder and deceit,
with nothing but circumspective
evidence

Blanc flinches but bites his tongue

MILES (cont'd)
and dodgy memories of what we all
saw. Now if we were playing my murder
mystery game, which by the way is
what we should have just been doing
all weekend, then Blanc wins an iPad
Pro this time. But this is the real
world. And in the real world you need
more than a neat little detective
story, you need evidence. And you've
got nothing. Do you?

Helen looks at Blanc, panicked.

BLANC
He's right. The contents of that
envelope and his possession of it
were our only physical evidence.

(CONTINUED)

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146 CONTINUED: (2) 146

Helen can't believe it. She looks at Miles.

MILES
You wanna take this to the cops? The
courts? Pick your poison. Anywhere
you go. It's your version of the
truth against mine. Let's see how
that goes.
(to Helen)
Probably about how it went for Andi.
I do want to say that your sister was
a complicated woman and she meant the
world to me. I'm sorry for your loss.

Silence. Everyone in the room hates him right now, but
everyone stays silent.

HELEN
Nobody's stepping up? Raise your
hand - "I saw him at Andi's that
night" - "I saw him grab Duke's
gun" - "I saw the napkin before he
burned it"

CLAIRE
We didn't -

HELEN
You would lie for a lie, you won't
lie for the truth? Still on his
titties. You shit heads.
(in tears)
Blanc? I need you to do something.

Blanc approaches Helen. He pauses only to pick up her
whiskey soda, which still sits on a statue.

BLANC
I'm very sorry Helen. But this is
where my jurisdiction ends. I have to
answer to the police, to the courts.
The system. There is nothing I can
do. But maybe offer you courage.

He hands her the drink.

BLANC (cont'd)
And a reminder of why your sister
walked away in the first place.

With strange delicate formality, Blanc shakes her hand, then
walks out into the night.

(CONTINUED)

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146 CONTINUED: (3) 146

Helen watches him go. Then stares at Miles, the same stare
she gave the invite in her sister's garage.

A long beat.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Confrontational, Emotional, Suspenseful

Summary Helen accuses Miles of destroying evidence, revealing that he burned the envelope containing proof of his guilt. Miles denies it, challenging Helen and the others to prove his guilt. Helen pleads for support, but they remain silent. Blanc acknowledges the lack of evidence and reminds Helen of her sister's reasons for leaving. He leaves, and Helen confronts Miles with an accusing stare.

Strengths

Intense emotional confrontations
Intricate plot developments
Revealing hidden motives and secrets
Sharp and impactful dialogue

Weaknesses

Some moments of melodrama
Occasional lack of subtlety in character interactions

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear resolution or climax, leaving the audience feeling unsatisfied.
The dialogue feels a bit repetitive and could benefit from more dynamic exchanges between the characters.
There is a lack of emotional depth in the scene, especially considering the high stakes and tension leading up to it.
The character motivations and reactions seem inconsistent and could be more clearly defined.
The scene could benefit from more visual cues and descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and tension.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a twist or revelation that provides a more satisfying conclusion to the conflict between the characters.
Work on tightening the dialogue to make it more impactful and engaging for the audience.
Focus on developing the emotional arcs of the characters to create a more compelling and resonant scene.
Clarify the motivations of each character and ensure their actions align with their established traits and goals.
Enhance the visual elements of the scene to create a more immersive and engaging experience for the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Then she drains the whiskey soda. Holds the framed napkin/
photo out at arms length. And lets it fall.

It shatters on the ground.

Miles doesn't react.

She takes a few steps towards him. Weighs the crystal
tumbler in her hand.

And SMASHES IT on the ground.

Miles smirks.

Helen picks up a slightly larger trinket and SMASHES it.
Then a small vase. Then a slightly larger piece of glass
sculpture.

Miles laughs, genuinely amused - what is she doing?

Everyone else exchanges looks, wondering the same thing.

She smashes another thing, then another, eyes locked on
Miles.

It's Whiskey who breaks the weird tension with:

WHISKEY
You go girl!

SMASH! A slight smile breaks on Lionel's face. This feel
good to watch.

LIONEL
Yeah. Why the hell not.

CLAIRE
Go Helen!

SMASH! The bar cart, smashing bottles everywhere.

A MASSIVE SMASH from offscreen draws everyone's attention:
BIRDIE has just smashed a large glass vase. She gives a
PRIMAL SCREAM that stuns everyone.

BIRDIE
Screw you Miles! Goddamn that felt
good.

(CONTINUED)

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146 CONTINUED: (4) 146

Whiskey pushes something over, gives Miles the finger.

Lionel picks up something and with a grin at Miles BREAKS
it. Claire too. Peg DIVES IN with vigor.

In all this Miles leans back, a tight grin on his face, his
arms raised in a gesture of "fine, have fun"

MILES
That's right guys, get it out.

After a round of this, with smashed art and pottery and
bottles everywhere, there's a natural lull. Everyone laughs
like kids who just played in the mud.

Miles claps, grins.

MILES (cont'd)
Ok. Alright.

But Helen does not stop or slow down. She takes an ornate
war hammer and SMASHES the crystal suit of armor.

LIONEL
Whoa - ok

Still laughing but a little uncomfortable. Then she swings
it into a glass piano.

LIONEL CLAIRE
Ok, Helen - ha - Helen, Helen! Whoa -
alright

BIRDIE
I think that belonged to Liberace

A HUGE container of crystal marbles, SMASH and they go
everywhere. The mood in the room is turning as Helen shows
no sign of stopping but goes bigger and bigger.

BIRDIE LIONEL
Helen ok - ok, Helen Stop, ok. That's plenty,
that's good

CLAIRE WHISKEY
Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa Holy shit

MILES
What do you want?

Then Helen grabs Miles's lighter from the table. And IGNITES
the pile of alcohol-soaked rubble that was the bar cart. It
goes up like a small pyre in the center of the room.

(CONTINUED)

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146 CONTINUED: (5) 146

EVERYONE
WHOA!

They all panic as Helen starts grabbing anything flammable -
cushions, pillows, rugs, throwing them on the growing fire.

Everyone SLIPS and SLIDES on the crystal marbles, trying to
catch her, like a scene from a Buster Keaton movie.

The SPRINKLERS come on but barely beat back the mini
bonfire.

MILES
Ok STOP! Stop! Enough.

She stops. Walks over to him at the table, water from the
sprinklers running down her face, the fire behind her.

MILES (cont'd)
Helen. Walk away.

She nods.

HELEN
Yeah. With a reminder of why my
sister walked away in the first
place.

FLASHBACK - Blanc shaking her hand. Handing her something.
Giving her the subtlest of nods.

Something she now straightens her posture and places on the
table in front of Miles.

Genres: Drama, Thriller
Tone: Intense, Emotional, Confrontational, Dramatic

Summary Helen unleashes her anger by smashing objects, including a framed napkin/photo, whiskey soda tumbler, crystal suit of armor, glass piano, and crystal marbles. Miles smirks initially but becomes increasingly uncomfortable as the destruction escalates. Despite attempts from others to stop her, Helen ignites alcohol-soaked rubble, triggering the sprinklers. She then places something on the table in front of Miles before leaving, a reminder of why his sister walked away.

Strengths

Intense emotional impact
Dramatic confrontations
Character growth and development
Symbolism and thematic depth

Weaknesses

Potential for over-the-top melodrama
Risk of becoming too chaotic or confusing with the destruction and tension

General Critique

The scene starts with Helen smashing objects in a fit of rage, which initially creates tension and intrigue. However, the escalation of the destruction becomes excessive and unrealistic, losing the impact of the moment.
The reactions of the other characters, such as Whiskey, Lionel, Claire, and Birdie, feel forced and exaggerated, detracting from the authenticity of the scene.
The transition from a lighthearted moment of breaking objects to setting a fire feels abrupt and lacks a smooth narrative flow. The sudden shift in tone may confuse the audience and diminish the emotional impact of the scene.
The sprinklers coming on and the chaos that ensues with everyone slipping and sliding on crystal marbles feels chaotic and disconnected from the initial premise of Helen's outburst.
The resolution of the scene, with Helen stopping the destruction and confronting Miles, lacks a clear resolution or closure. The final interaction between Helen and Miles feels rushed and does not provide a satisfying conclusion to the intense buildup.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider toning down the destruction of objects to maintain a balance between dramatic impact and realism. Focus on the emotional intensity of the scene rather than the physical destruction.
Ensure that the reactions of the other characters are authentic and consistent with their personalities, avoiding exaggerated responses that may detract from the scene's credibility.
Smooth out the transition between the escalating destruction and the fire-setting moment to create a more cohesive narrative flow. Build up the tension gradually to maintain the audience's engagement.
Reconsider the chaotic elements introduced, such as the sprinklers and slipping on marbles, to ensure they enhance the scene's impact rather than detract from it. Keep the focus on the central conflict between Helen and Miles.
Provide a more satisfying resolution to the scene by allowing for a meaningful interaction between Helen and Miles that offers closure and emotional resonance. Clarify the outcome of their confrontation to leave a lasting impact on the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

The marble sized crystal of Klear.

Miles looks from it to the growing fire, his eyes go wide.

Flashing to: The fireplace. The lights. The heating ducts.
The appliances in the kitchen. The coffee machine.
Everything.

As do Lionel's.

LIONEL
Oh sh-

The bonfire suddenly plumes upwards as if the air itself is
catching fire, up into the ceiling, into the vents, into the
walls, like the house itself is sucking the fire into its
lungs.

One moment of horrible silence.

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
132.

147 EXT. THE GLASS ONION - NIGHT 147

And the glass onion structure EXPLODES like a balloon with a
BURST of glass and fire.

Then, like the end of Caddyshack, every Villa goes up,
billows of fire, debris, all of it popping off like firework
champagne corks in the night. Somewhere:

SOOTHING ROBOT VOICE
This is a smokeless garden. This is a
smokeless garden. This...

Pull back to reveal: Blanc, in a lawn chair. He lights up
his CIGAR with great satisfaction. Then passes the lighter
to Derol, in a chair next to him, awed at the destruction.

BLANC
Disruption.

DEROL
Fuckin A.

148 INT. ATRIUM - NIGHT 148

There isn't much structural damage but streams of fire jet
from ruptured walls, the floor, everywhere. Everyone raises
their heads, dazed.

Miles looks around at his ruined kingdom. After a perfect
comic beat, the BABY BLUE PORSCHE falls from above and
SMASHES in a flaming heap in the middle of the atrium.

Miles chokes back a sob. Then locks eyes with Helen. And he
realizes:

She isn't done yet.

She turns and runs, and as she passes everyone they realize
in horror where he is going.

They ALL run after her, grabbing her, all of them, slipping
and yelling in slow motion trying to hold her back but she's
too strong, she struggles forward, reaching her hand out...

To the over-ride button

For the Mona Lisa.

Which is comfortable behind its fire-proof glass, the flames
licking off its ambiguous gaze.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
133.
148 CONTINUED: 148

Miles tries to hold her back, screaming.

Helen looks back at him, reaches the button and without
hesitation PRESSES it.

SHHHTICK.

As the glass rises, the painting is almost instantly
consumed in the inferno of fire.

The entire group watches in slack jawed disbelief.

Miles drops to his knees, dumbstruck. Looks in the
painting's eyes one last time before they burn away to ash.

149 EXT. THE GLASS ONION - MOMENTS LATER 149

Everyone stumbles out onto the steps, choking and gasping.

Miles looks around him, tears in his eyes, then turns on
Helen.

MILES
Oh FANTASTIC! You are so PUNK ROCK!
You think you are an alligator?! You
think you popped me like a gangster?!
No. You baby. You child. You feel
better now? I hope your little bitch
tantrum gave you closure. Cause that
accomplished NOTHING!

HELEN
Your fuel of the future just
barbecued the world's most famous
painting, dumbass. Congratulations on
the public launch of Klear and the
end of Miles Bron.

This starts to sink in. Miles's face hollows out. The glass
onion still burning behind him.

HELEN (cont'd)
You're ruined. But you did get your
wish. You will forever be remembered
in the same breath as the Mona Lisa.

Helen wipes her hands on her pants and walks off, past the
disruptors spread out on the steps, past the flaming remains
of the entire compound.

When she's gone, the disruptors all look at him hatefully.
Birdie raises her hand.

(CONTINUED)

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226
134.
149 CONTINUED: 149

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Intense, Dramatic, Confrontational, Emotional

Summary Miles and Lionel witness the destruction of their surroundings as the crystal of Klear causes an explosion and fire. Helen destroys the Mona Lisa painting, leading to a confrontation with Miles. The scene ends with Helen leaving Miles to face the consequences.

Strengths

Intense emotional confrontation
Dramatic destruction
Revelation of key information
High stakes and tension

Weaknesses

Potential for melodrama
Over-the-top destruction

General Critique

The scene is intense and chaotic, with a lot of destruction and a dramatic climax.
The destruction of the Glass Onion structure and the subsequent chaos are well-described and create a vivid image for the reader.
The interaction between Miles and Helen is filled with tension and emotion, leading to a powerful confrontation.
The moment when Helen presses the override button for the Mona Lisa painting is a bold and impactful choice.
The dialogue between Miles and Helen effectively conveys their conflicting emotions and motivations.
The scene effectively builds up to a climactic moment of destruction and revelation.
The visual elements, such as the flaming Porsche falling and the painting burning, add to the dramatic impact of the scene.
The aftermath of the destruction, with Miles realizing the consequences of his actions, is a strong conclusion to the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal thoughts or emotions for the characters to deepen the impact of the scene.
Provide more context or backstory to further explain the characters' motivations and actions.
Explore the aftermath of the destruction in more detail to show the emotional and psychological impact on the characters.
Consider incorporating more sensory details to enhance the reader's experience of the chaos and destruction.
Add moments of reflection or introspection for the characters to add depth to their reactions and decisions.
Ensure that the dialogue remains authentic and consistent with the characters' personalities and motivations.
Consider incorporating more symbolism or thematic elements to enhance the meaning of the scene.
Explore the relationship dynamics between the characters in more depth to add complexity to their interactions.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BIRDIE
I saw the napkin he burned.

Claire raises her hand.

CLAIRE
God, now you mention it, I clearly
saw him grab Duke's gun.

Then Lionel.

LIONEL
I saw him driving away from Andi's
house the night she was killed.

They all look at him. He stares back, unbelieving.

MILES
Oh you shit heads.

150 EXT. BEACH - NIGHT 150

And onto the beach. Where Blanc sits, staring out to sea at
the distant FERRY and several POLICE boats with flashing
sirens.

BLANC
Did you get the son of a bitch?

HELEN
Yup.

BLANC
Ready to go home?

Helen sits with straightened posture, looking out at the
approaching boat. Gazing out at it a long while. Maybe
smiling, maybe not, it's hard to tell.

8FLiX.com FYC SCREENPLAY DATABASE 20221226

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Emotional

Summary The group reveals incriminating memories regarding Ransom's involvement in Andi's murder. Birdie recalls seeing him burn a napkin, Claire remembers him taking Duke's gun, and Lionel saw him fleeing Andi's house on the night of her death. Miles reacts with disbelief and shock. Blanc and Helen discuss apprehending Ransom, and Helen gazes towards the approaching boat with an ambiguous expression.

Strengths

Intense conflict
Emotional depth
Plot twists
Revelations

Weaknesses

Possible confusion due to complex plot twists

General Critique

The dialogue in this scene is impactful and reveals crucial information about Miles' actions leading up to Andi's death.
The tension and disbelief among the characters are effectively portrayed through their reactions to the revelations about Miles.
The scene transitions smoothly from the indoor confrontation to the beach setting, providing a sense of closure and resolution.
The use of short, direct lines of dialogue enhances the intensity of the scene and keeps the focus on the key revelations.
The scene effectively sets up the next steps in the investigation and leaves the audience eager to see how the story unfolds.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more emotional depth to Miles' reaction to being confronted by the others, to further highlight his guilt or innocence.
Explore the possibility of incorporating visual cues or actions to enhance the tension and drama of the scene.
Provide more context or backstory to deepen the impact of the characters' revelations and reactions.
Consider adding a final line or moment that leaves the audience with a lingering question or sense of anticipation for the next development in the story.
Ensure that the transition to the beach setting maintains the momentum of the scene and reinforces the resolution of the confrontation.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

glass Onion Knives Out

Overview

Unique Selling Point

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Story Facts

Script Level Analysis

Screenplay Insights

Story Critique

Characters

Emotional Analysis

Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Themes

Logic & Inconsistencies

Scene Analysis

Scene Level Percentiles

Other Analyses

Unique Voice

Writer's Craft

Memorable Lines

Tropes

World Building

Correlations

Loglines

Unique Voice

Writer's Craft

Memorable Lines

Tropes

World Building

Correlations

Loglines

Engine: Gemini

Recommend

Executive Summary

Engine: Claude

Recommend

Executive Summary

Engine: GPT4

Consider

Executive Summary

Screenplay Insights:

Screenplay Story Analysis

Blanc - Score: 83/100

Role

Personality

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 7/10

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Scene Impact 9/10

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 7

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9