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Scene Map 60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
EXT DEEP SPACE
2 4
EXT SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD OUTSIDE OF SEATTLE DAY
3 6
EXT MODERN CITYSCAPE - SEATTLE DAY
4 8
EXT JEPSO INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION (ISS)
5 12
INT JEPSO ISS RANGER HUB CONFERENCE ROOM DAY
6 14
INT JEPSO ISS RANGER HUB TRAINING AREA DAY
7 15
EXT MILITARY BASE DAY
8 17
EXT DEEP SPACE - SIX MONTHS LATER
9 19
INT HORUS MESS
10 22
EXT EUROPA/AC20 NIGHT
11 23
INT ROVER NIGHT
12 25
EXT EUROPA/OUTCROPPING NIGHT
13 27
EXT MINING SHIP NIGHT
14 30
EXT EUROPA/AC20 NIGHT
15 32
INT AC20 NIGHT
16 33
INT CAIN’S QUARTERS ON HORUS NIGHT
17 35
INT HORUS MEDICAL BAY
18 38
INT CAIN'S QUARTERS ON HORUS NIGHT
19 40
INT MAJOR DRESDEN’S OFFICE ON HORUS
20 42
INT JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE DAY
21 44
INT JEPSO ISS - SQUADRON ARMORY DAY
22 46
INT JEPSO ISS CORRIDOR
23 47
INT JEPSO ISS GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE
24 48
INT JEPSO ISS CAIN’S QUARTERS
25 50
INT JEPSO ISS CORRIDOR, JUST OUTSIDE THE DETENTION FACILITY
26 51
INT JEPSO ISS - CAIN’S OFFICE AFTERNOON
27 54
INT JEPSO ISS GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE
28 56
INT JEPSO ISS CAIN'S OFFICE - EARLY EVENING
29 57
INT JEPSO ISS CAIN’S QUARTERS - MIDNIGHT
30 63
INT JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE - NEXT DAY
31 66
INT JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE AFTERNOON
32 67
INT STARTRACER/2 COMMAND DECK.
33 69
INT JEPSO ISS CAIN'S QUARTERS
34 72
INT STARTRACER/2, CORRIDOR LATER
35 73
INT STARTRACER/2 - MESS
36 75
INT STARTRACER/2 - HYPERSLEEP CHAMBER
37 76
EXT DEEP SPACE
38 77
INT STARTRACER/2 - MESS
39 79
INT STARTRACER/2 - COMMAND CENTER
40 81
EXT NEIGHBORHOOD STREET/STORM CELLAR – DAY (FLASHBACK)
41 83
INT STARTRACER/2 - EMERGENCY ESCAPE POD VAULT
42 85
EXT TWELFTH MOON OF REZELA
43 87
EXT CAIN'S POD
44 90
INT CAIN’S POD
45 94
EXT CAIN’S POD
46 95
EXT CAIN’S POD
47 98
EXT MOON.
48 102
EXT CAIN'S POD/MOON’S SURFACE.
49 104
EXT MOON
50 110
INT U.S. MENDES MAIN CORRIDOR DUSK
51 112
INT U.S. MENDES - CORRIDOR
52 113
INT U.S. MENDES COMMAND CENTER
53 115
INT U.S. MENDES CORRIDOR
54 117
EXT U.S. MENDES/MOON
55 122
INT U.S. MENDES MAIN CORRIDOR
56 124
INT U.S. MENDES COMMAND CENTER
57 125
INT CORRIDOR IN FRONT OF DEPLOYMENT BAY DOOR DUSK
58 126
INT AC20 COCKPIT DUSK
59 129
EXT OUTSIDE THE U.S. MENDES DUSK
60 131
INT AC20 NIGHT
Scene Map
60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
EXT DEEP SPACE
EXT. DEEP SPACE
EXT. DEEP SPACE Distant Future Bright stars pepper the black background. We SPEED through the endless void, past MARS, JUPITER, SATURN, on to the ends of the solar system, then out of sight.
2 4
EXT SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD OUTSIDE OF SEATTLE DAY
EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD OUTSIDE OF SEATTLE - DAY
EXT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD OUTSIDE OF SEATTLE - DAY LEGEND: Forty Years Later The sound of distant SCREAMING from the previous scene ECHOES, then TRANSFORMS into stark silence, as we view... A residential neighborhood, except all the houses are
3 6
EXT MODERN CITYSCAPE - SEATTLE DAY
EXT. MODERN CITYSCAPE - SEATTLE - DAY (FLASHBACK)
EXT. MODERN CITYSCAPE - SEATTLE - DAY (FLASHBACK) A MONSTROUS FIREBALL ERUPTS, devouring the skyline. Silence. Then—AN EARTH-SHATTERING ‘BOOM’. The fireball morphs into a roiling MUSHROOM CLOUD. The ground HEAVES. Car alarms WAIL.
4 8
EXT JEPSO INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION (ISS)
EXT. JEPSO INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION (ISS)
EXT. JEPSO INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION (ISS) Floating in the void - MARS dominates the foreground, with EARTH just a pinprick of light beyond. A massive conglomeration of a central ROATATING STRUCTURE, with insect-like arms stretching out in three directions
5 12
INT JEPSO ISS RANGER HUB CONFERENCE ROOM DAY
INT. JEPSO ISS RANGER HUB CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
INT. JEPSO ISS RANGER HUB CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY Cain, Pace and a half-dozen rangers sit at a long table. A HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTION of JUPITER floats above them, Europa highlighted in red. MAJOR HALLORAN (40s), Intelligence Division, stands before
6 14
INT JEPSO ISS RANGER HUB TRAINING AREA DAY
INT. JEPSO ISS RANGER HUB TRAINING AREA - DAY
INT. JEPSO ISS RANGER HUB TRAINING AREA - DAY The sound of grunts and the rhythmic thud of bodies colliding on mats fills the expansive training area. RANGERS practice brutal hand-to-hand combat, sweat glistening on their brows as they push each other to their limits.
7 15
EXT MILITARY BASE DAY
EXT. MILITARY BASE - DAY
EXT. MILITARY BASE - DAY LEGEND: AIMS INTERNATIONAL SPACE FORCE BASE, TEXAS A high-angle shot reveals the sprawling Space Force Base. Several SPACESHIPS sit on launchpads, their hulls gleaming
8 17
EXT DEEP SPACE - SIX MONTHS LATER
EXT. DEEP SPACE - SIX MONTHS LATER
EXT. DEEP SPACE - SIX MONTHS LATER LEGEND: EUROPA, ONE OF JUPITER’S MOONS. TACTICAL TRANSPORT SHIP HORUS drifts into view, moving toward a moon of Jupiter, the planet so large it fills the sky. In the distance, the sun shines brightly, lighting the far
9 19
INT HORUS MESS
INT. HORUS MESS
INT. HORUS MESS A low hum vibrates through the ship. The crew sits at a long table, finishing breakfast. The AUTO FOOD PREP MACHINE glows with blue light, silently dispensing portions. MARKS shovels down his third helping. PEREZ watches him,
10 22
EXT EUROPA/AC20 NIGHT
EXT. EUROPA/AC20 - NIGHT
EXT. EUROPA/AC20 - NIGHT The planet is mostly rock and ice. The ship slows and turns. Jets fire when it's fifty feet from the surface. The ship slowly sets down. INT. AC20 COCKPIT - NIGHT
11 23
INT ROVER NIGHT
INT. ROVER - NIGHT
INT. ROVER - NIGHT The rover CREAKS as it moves across Europa's surface. Jupiter's pale light filters through the frost-caked windows, casting long shadows across the cramped interior. The air carries a persistent CHILL that even the environmental
12 25
EXT EUROPA/OUTCROPPING NIGHT
EXT. EUROPA/OUTCROPPING - NIGHT
EXT. EUROPA/OUTCROPPING - NIGHT The rover GROANS to a halt beside a LARGE BOULDER, its engines HISSING as they power down. The back hatch WHIRRS open, releasing a plume of frozen breath from the Rangers as they spill out. They crouch behind the rock. Cain and Pace
13 27
EXT MINING SHIP NIGHT
EXT. MINING SHIP - NIGHT
EXT. MINING SHIP - NIGHT The equipment still runs, the DRILLS WHIRRING and GRINDING against the ice. The NOISE reverberates along the ground, LOUD HUMMING NOISES. Two grenades land near one of the drills and BLOW IT UP, sending shards of metal and ice flying.
14 30
EXT EUROPA/AC20 NIGHT
EXT. EUROPA/AC20 - NIGHT
EXT. EUROPA/AC20 - NIGHT The AC20 descends, its engines roaring against the crushing silence of Europa's night. It hovers, casting a harsh light on the wreckage of the mining ship—a smoldering hulk, like a ghost of a battle long fought.
15 32
INT AC20 NIGHT
INT. AC20 - NIGHT
INT. AC20 - NIGHT Emergency lights flicker, casting erratic shadows across the cramped space. Perez kneels beside Thompson’s body, her gloved hand trembling as she presses it against his torn uniform, dark
16 33
INT CAIN’S QUARTERS ON HORUS NIGHT
INT. CAIN’S QUARTERS ON HORUS - NIGHT
INT. CAIN’S QUARTERS ON HORUS - NIGHT Pace slumps into a chair, exhaling heavily. Cain moves to a small fridge, pulls out two beers, and tosses one to him. She kicks off her boots, then pauses—eyes lingering on her STARCRASH toy, lying on the desk.
17 35
INT HORUS MEDICAL BAY
INT. HORUS MEDICAL BAY
INT. HORUS MEDICAL BAY A stark, white medical bay. Tran adjusts an IV drip as the PRISONER sits up, sipping water through a straw. A STRAP binds her waist; her legs are locked down. Her face is hard but oddly calm.
18 38
INT CAIN'S QUARTERS ON HORUS NIGHT
INT. CAIN'S QUARTERS ON HORUS - NIGHT
INT. CAIN'S QUARTERS ON HORUS - NIGHT The room is dim, lit only by a desk lamp that casts long shadows. Papers are strewn across the desk—star charts, notes, reports. CAIN sits, poring over her notes, with 'SOLADAR' circled in red.
19 40
INT MAJOR DRESDEN’S OFFICE ON HORUS
INT. MAJOR DRESDEN’S OFFICE ON HORUS
INT. MAJOR DRESDEN’S OFFICE ON HORUS The office is spartan, bathed in the cold blue light of a star chart hologram. The only sound is the low HUM of the ship's engines. The door is open. Cain steps inside. Major Dresden doesn't
20 42
INT JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE DAY
INT. JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE - DAY
INT. JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE - DAY LEGEND: SIX MONTHS LATER A knock on the door. Opens and Cain enters. General Kelly rises. GENERAL KELLY
21 44
INT JEPSO ISS - SQUADRON ARMORY DAY
INT. JEPSO ISS - SQUADRON ARMORY - DAY
INT. JEPSO ISS - SQUADRON ARMORY - DAY The armory hums with energy - polished weapons gleam under sterile lighting When Cain walks in, PACE is there performing equipment checks. Cain pauses, her gaze lingering on Pace's back. A hint of
22 46
INT JEPSO ISS CORRIDOR
INT. JEPSO ISS CORRIDOR
INT. JEPSO ISS CORRIDOR They walk quickly down the hall, around several corners, passing multiple people. Beside a large, sliding door a sign: RANGER HUB. They step through and continue down another hallway. As they
23 47
INT JEPSO ISS GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE
INT. JEPSO ISS GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE
INT. JEPSO ISS GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE Kelly walks back into the outer office, carrying his datapad. Moreno looks up. MORENO How was the meeting, sir?
24 48
INT JEPSO ISS CAIN’S QUARTERS
INT. JEPSO ISS CAIN’S QUARTERS
INT. JEPSO ISS CAIN’S QUARTERS Cain’s room looks like a tornado hit it. Drawers, cabinets open. Papers strewn about. Mattress half off the bed. She begins straightening up. Her wristband vibrates. CLOSE-ON SCREEN: LAST WARNING.
25 50
INT JEPSO ISS CORRIDOR, JUST OUTSIDE THE DETENTION FACILITY
INT. JEPSO ISS CORRIDOR, JUST OUTSIDE THE DETENTION FACILITY
INT. JEPSO ISS CORRIDOR, JUST OUTSIDE THE DETENTION FACILITY Automated security turrets track Cain's approach. Her footsteps echo unnaturally loud on the metal floor. She looks around as if she’s being watched. INT. DETENTION FACILITY
26 51
INT JEPSO ISS - CAIN’S OFFICE AFTERNOON
INT. JEPSO ISS - CAIN’S OFFICE - AFTERNOON
INT. JEPSO ISS - CAIN’S OFFICE - AFTERNOON Cain sits at her desk, staring at a file. Her fingers trace the edge of a small, tarnished star-shaped paperweight. The knock at the door barely registers. Pace enters, his usual grin fading as he takes in her
27 54
INT JEPSO ISS GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE
INT. JEPSO ISS GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE
INT. JEPSO ISS GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE Kelly and Platt sit at the small table, the SILENCE DOME surrounding them. Kelly slides the Soladar Folder across to her. GENERAL KELLY
28 56
INT JEPSO ISS CAIN'S OFFICE - EARLY EVENING
INT. JEPSO ISS CAIN'S OFFICE - EARLY EVENING
INT. JEPSO ISS CAIN'S OFFICE - EARLY EVENING Cain stands by her desk, fidgeting with the photo of FOSTER. Her thumb traces his face, then moves to the PHOTO OF HER FAMILY on the credenza. CAIN
29 57
INT JEPSO ISS CAIN’S QUARTERS - MIDNIGHT
INT. JEPSO ISS CAIN’S QUARTERS - MIDNIGHT
INT. JEPSO ISS CAIN’S QUARTERS - MIDNIGHT Darkness. Cain sleeps fitfully. A SOFT KNOCK. She stirs. Another KNOCK. CAIN (sleepily)
30 63
INT JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE - NEXT DAY
INT. JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE - NEXT DAY
INT. JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE - NEXT DAY GENERAL PLATT paces like a caged animal. The office feels smaller, the dim light casting long shadows. Kelly doesn’t look up, his jaw tightening. Platt stops, her reflection warped in the polished surface of
31 66
INT JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE AFTERNOON
INT. JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON
INT. JEPSO ISS - GENERAL KELLY'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON General Platt is back in the office, her demeanor now frayed. She paces the room again. GENERAL KELLY Cain has a recording implicating
32 67
INT STARTRACER/2 COMMAND DECK.
INT. STARTRACER/2 COMMAND DECK.
INT. STARTRACER/2 COMMAND DECK. Cain, Pace and MAJOR TODD (40’s,(Gray-haired, overweight) stand inside the control room. A senior SYSTEMS ENGINEER greets them. ENGINEER
33 69
INT JEPSO ISS CAIN'S QUARTERS
INT. JEPSO ISS CAIN'S QUARTERS
INT. JEPSO ISS CAIN'S QUARTERS Cain and Pace walk to Cain’s quarters. The door slides open. Cain and Pace step inside. The scene doesn’t register at first. The room has been ransacked - again. Drawers thrown open, papers and folders everywhere.
34 72
INT STARTRACER/2, CORRIDOR LATER
INT. STARTRACER/2, CORRIDOR - LATER
INT. STARTRACER/2, CORRIDOR - LATER Cain stands alone at the window, her fingertips barely grazing the thick glass. Outside, the sky darkens—stars flicker to life like scattered embers. She wears insulated skivvies, a sleeveless t-shirt, and knee-
35 73
INT STARTRACER/2 - MESS
INT. STARTRACER/2 - MESS
INT. STARTRACER/2 - MESS The Mess is a spacious area, flooded with artificial light. The sound of the ship’s engine hums softly in the background, a rhythmic pulse that vibrates through the room. The entire group, excluding Major Todd, sits around a long
36 75
INT STARTRACER/2 - HYPERSLEEP CHAMBER
INT. STARTRACER/2 - HYPERSLEEP CHAMBER
INT. STARTRACER/2 - HYPERSLEEP CHAMBER The coffin-like capsules, each with a pillow, are adorned with blinking control panels on the exterior. Pace and the other four Rangers climb into their respective machines.
37 76
EXT DEEP SPACE
EXT. DEEP SPACE
EXT. DEEP SPACE StarTracer/2 glides through the void like an eel through the ocean, its hull groaning under the strain of unseen forces. Distant STARLIGHT flickers against its battered exterior like a dying pulse.
38 77
INT STARTRACER/2 - MESS
INT. STARTRACER/2 - MESS
INT. STARTRACER/2 - MESS Pace and the four recruits sit at the mess table, sipping coffee, still groggy from hypersleep. Pace’s knuckles are white around his mug. Pace holds up a red packet that says 'Liquified High-potency
39 79
INT STARTRACER/2 - COMMAND CENTER
INT. STARTRACER/2 - COMMAND CENTER
INT. STARTRACER/2 - COMMAND CENTER The command center is a chaotic symphony of flickering red emergency lights and sparking control panels. Alarms BLARE, their shrill pulses syncing with the erratic thrum of failing engines.
40 81
EXT NEIGHBORHOOD STREET/STORM CELLAR – DAY (FLASHBACK)
EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD STREET/STORM CELLAR – DAY (FLASHBACK)
EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD STREET/STORM CELLAR – DAY (FLASHBACK) A deafening EXPLOSION rocks the street — Young Carla stumbles as Noah yanks her forward. The sky is a hellish red, EMBERS raining down. Another BOOM, closer this time—Noah shoves her toward the storm cellar.
41 83
INT STARTRACER/2 - EMERGENCY ESCAPE POD VAULT
INT. STARTRACER/2 - EMERGENCY ESCAPE POD VAULT
INT. STARTRACER/2 - EMERGENCY ESCAPE POD VAULT Fifteen single-person pods line the track, their hatches glowing red in the emergency lights. The room thrums with the ship’s death rattle. Cain bursts in, sweat streaking her face. The Rangers
42 85
EXT TWELFTH MOON OF REZELA
EXT. TWELFTH MOON OF REZELA
EXT. TWELFTH MOON OF REZELA The moon, eerily illuminated by a nearby sun, presents a rugged terrain of craggy rocks and twisted spires. Pace's pod is half-buried in the lunar soil. With a strained grunt, he pushes the hatch open and crawls out, fogging his
43 87
EXT CAIN'S POD
EXT. CAIN'S POD
EXT. CAIN'S POD Cain sits on her pod, scanning the desolate landscape. Todd sits on his pod nearby, his face etched with fear. Crimmage sits inside his pod, his head sticking out. Travelli and Martin cautiously inspect their damaged pods. In all
44 90
INT CAIN’S POD
INT. CAIN’S POD
INT. CAIN’S POD Cain turns a few switches and the pod’s console lights up. She hits the button marked COMM. A light turns green. CAIN Mayday! Mayday! This is
45 94
EXT CAIN’S POD
EXT. CAIN’S POD
EXT. CAIN’S POD They’re all in shock. They continue to stare at the shimmering lake flowing around them. CLOSE-IN ON CAIN CAIN
46 95
EXT CAIN’S POD
EXT. CAIN’S POD
EXT. CAIN’S POD Cain hops down. The ground shifts and quivers under her feet, little tentacles of soil reaching up as if to grab her legs. She races and dives onto her pod, Pace pulling her up.
47 98
EXT MOON.
EXT. MOON.
EXT. MOON. RUMBLING...louder and louder. Cain jerks awake. The sky is lighter. It’s early morning. She looks in the direction of the mining buildings. Pace, Crimmage, Martin, all awake. A large ship descends from the sky, firing jets as it rotates
48 102
EXT CAIN'S POD/MOON’S SURFACE.
EXT. CAIN'S POD/MOON’S SURFACE.
EXT. CAIN'S POD/MOON’S SURFACE. Minutes tick by, the oppressive silence pierced only by the low rumble of shifting ground. The horizon seems to pulse ominously. CAIN
49 104
EXT MOON
EXT. MOON
EXT. MOON WIDE SHOT: All around them is bleak, barren terrain. Large, jagged rocks protrude from the ground. Distant mountains loom on the horizon, their peaks shrouded in mist. Cain, Pace, Martin and Crimmage trudge forward, each step a
50 110
INT U.S. MENDES MAIN CORRIDOR DUSK
INT. U.S. MENDES MAIN CORRIDOR - DUSK
INT. U.S. MENDES MAIN CORRIDOR - DUSK A tomb of shadows. The air is thick with the scent of rust and decay. No sound, no movement—just the eerie hum of dead machinery. The trio’s headlamps slice through the darkness. CAIN
51 112
INT U.S. MENDES - CORRIDOR
INT. U.S. MENDES - CORRIDOR
INT. U.S. MENDES - CORRIDOR As soon Pace and Crimmage step out of the elevator, a sign on the wall announces they are on level two. Below that is another sign pointing down the corridor in both directions. Quarters to the right, the Mess and Dayroom to the left. Pace
52 113
INT U.S. MENDES COMMAND CENTER
INT. U.S. MENDES COMMAND CENTER
INT. U.S. MENDES COMMAND CENTER Cain and Martin walk to the VIEWPORT. THROUGH THE WINDOW: Lights. Moving toward the ship. CAIN (Over comms)
53 115
INT U.S. MENDES CORRIDOR
INT. U.S. MENDES CORRIDOR
INT. U.S. MENDES CORRIDOR Armed to the teeth, they step back into the corridor. Crimmage’s legs look wobbly. Pace squeezes his shoulder. PACE You still alright?
54 117
EXT U.S. MENDES/MOON
EXT. U.S. MENDES/MOON
EXT. U.S. MENDES/MOON They reach the ground. Nearby are tall rocks, and several large pieces of the ship, sticking out of the ground. CAIN Find cover, then lights off.
55 122
INT U.S. MENDES MAIN CORRIDOR
INT. U.S. MENDES MAIN CORRIDOR
INT. U.S. MENDES MAIN CORRIDOR They sit and take off their shoes. You guys find the deployment bay, make sure there’s an AC20...or even the older MR12. Either one will work. PACE
56 124
INT U.S. MENDES COMMAND CENTER
INT. U.S. MENDES COMMAND CENTER
INT. U.S. MENDES COMMAND CENTER Cain steps into the command center, and activates the Nav system. CAIN Computer, provide the return
57 125
INT CORRIDOR IN FRONT OF DEPLOYMENT BAY DOOR DUSK
INT. CORRIDOR IN FRONT OF DEPLOYMENT BAY DOOR - DUSK
INT. CORRIDOR IN FRONT OF DEPLOYMENT BAY DOOR - DUSK Cain reaches the deployment bay door. Pace and Crimmage are trying to pull it open. Cain steps in to help. They all three grab an edge and manage to open it enough to get through.
58 126
INT AC20 COCKPIT DUSK
INT. AC20 COCKPIT - DUSK
INT. AC20 COCKPIT - DUSK Cain pulls out the STARCRASH ACTION FIGURE and sets in in the co-pilot seat. CAIN Green across the board. Coordinates
59 129
EXT OUTSIDE THE U.S. MENDES DUSK
EXT. OUTSIDE THE U.S. MENDES - DUSK
EXT. OUTSIDE THE U.S. MENDES - DUSK A biting wind HOWLS across the barren landscape, kicking up dust. She steps down, her metal shoes CLANKING against the hard ground. The remnants of the golden lake GLIMMER faintly under the eerie light of Rezela’s many moons.
60 131
INT AC20 NIGHT
INT. AC20 - NIGHT
INT. AC20 - NIGHT The echo of the piano lingers for a beat - then GONE. Pace, helmet off, stares out of the window, his reflection fractured by tracks of tears.The moon shrinks behind them, a cold, distant eye.

The Twelfth Moon Rev 10

Haunted by her family's death in a Soladar-fueled war, Lt. Carla Cain leads her team in a desperate survival fight against a living moon and Russian miners, racing to expose the truth before they're consumed.

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Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Point

The script's unique selling proposition is its innovative twist on the 'precious resource' trope: Soladar isn't just mined, it's a sentient substance that 'mines' living beings. This creates a powerful ecological and ethical horror element within a military sci-fi framework, elevating it beyond standard space adventure fare. The combination of corporate conspiracy, personal vengeance quest, and cosmic horror makes it stand out in the genre.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines' ratings to compare.

Hover over verdict cards for Executive Summaries

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Claude
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Grok
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Gemini
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DeepSeek
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Average Score: 7.3
Key Takeaways
For the Writer:
To elevate your script, focus on clarifying the rules and mechanics of Soladar to make its threat more consistent and believable, as this is a recurring blind spot across analyses. Tighten pacing in the middle act by reducing redundant expository scenes and ensure key plot threads, like the grandfather's storyline and antagonist motivations, are fully resolved on-screen for stronger emotional payoffs. By addressing these, you'll create a more cohesive narrative that balances the innovative premise with deeper character development and thematic depth.
For Executives:
The script offers a high-concept sci-fi thriller with a unique, marketable premise involving a sentient energy source and government conspiracy, appealing to fans of Alien and The Martian, with strong action and emotional stakes. However, risks include audience confusion from unclear world-building and unresolved plot elements, uneven pacing that could bore viewers, and underdeveloped characters, potentially limiting its appeal to mainstream audiences or festivals without significant revisions to boost clarity and engagement.
Story Facts
Genres:
Science Fiction 50% Action 30% Thriller 40% Drama 40% Horror 20% War 10%

Setting: Distant future, spanning over several decades, Primarily set in deep space, on various moons (including Europa and Rezela), and aboard spaceships like the AC20 and U.S. Mendes.

Themes: The Pursuit of Truth and Justice Against Corruption, Loss and Sacrifice, The Corrupting Nature of Power, The Drive for Survival and Human Connection, The Unknown and the Unseen Threat, Destruction and Rebirth (Cyclical Nature)

Conflict & Stakes: The main conflict revolves around the struggle to uncover the truth about Soladar, the dangers posed by hostile forces, and the personal stakes of survival and redemption for the characters.

Mood: Tense and suspenseful, with moments of introspection and emotional depth.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The sentient nature of the moon Soladar, which poses a constant threat to the characters.
  • Major Twist: The revelation of a conspiracy involving high-ranking officials and the true nature of Soladar.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of advanced technology and the concept of mining a living entity.
  • Distinctive Settings: The various moons and spaceships provide a rich backdrop for the story.
  • Character Depth: The complex relationships and backstories of the main characters add emotional weight to the narrative.

Comparable Scripts: Event Horizon, The Expanse (TV Series), Interstellar, Alien, The Martian, Gravity, Battlestar Galactica (TV Series), Annihilation, Lost in Space (TV Series)

🎯 Your Top Priorities

Our stats model looked at how your scores work together and ranked the changes most likely to move your overall rating next draft. Ordered by the most reliable gains first.

You have more than one meaningful lever.

Improving Theme (Script Level) and Visual Impact (Script Level) will have the biggest impact on your overall score next draft.

1. Theme (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Theme (Script Level) score: 8.0
Expected gain: ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.45 in Theme (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,490 similar revisions)
  • This is your top opportunity right now. Focusing your rewrite energy here gives you the best realistic shot at raising the overall rating.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Theme (Script Level) by about +0.45 in one rewrite.
2. Visual Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Visual Impact (Script Level) score: 7.9
Expected gain: ~3% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.48 in Visual Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~2,041 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Visual Impact (Script Level) by about +0.48 in one rewrite.
3. Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Big Impact Script Level
Your current Emotional Impact (Script Level) score: 7.7
Expected gain: ~2% closer to an "all Highly Recommends" score
Typical rewrite gain: +0.35 in Emotional Impact (Script Level)
Confidence: High (based on ~3,846 similar revisions)
  • This is another strong option. If the top item doesn't fit your rewrite plan, this is a solid alternative.
  • What writers at your level usually do: Writers at a similar level usually raise Emotional Impact (Script Level) by about +0.35 in one rewrite.

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.74
Key Suggestions:
To improve the script from a creative and craft perspective, focus on deepening the emotional arcs of secondary characters like Crimmage and Todd by expanding their backstories and motivations, which will enhance audience relatability and overall emotional resonance. Additionally, tighten pacing in slower scenes and clarify antagonist motivations to build stronger tension and thematic depth, ensuring a more cohesive and engaging narrative.
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script 'The Twelfth Moon' has a strong foundation in sci-fi storytelling and emotional character arcs, but to enhance its craft, focus on streamlining exposition-heavy dialogue to improve natural flow, deepening antagonist motivations for more nuanced conflict, and enriching world-building with vivid visual and sensory details. Additionally, ensuring smoother transitions and a more developed resolution will heighten emotional impact and provide clearer narrative closure, making the story more engaging and satisfying for audiences.
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis highlights strong potential in Carla Cain as a compelling protagonist, but reveals that supporting characters like Pace, Crimmage, Martin, and Perez have underdeveloped arcs and emotional depths. To improve the script, focus on enhancing character transformations by incorporating more backstory exploration, emotional vulnerability, and pivotal moments of growth. This will create a more balanced narrative, deepen audience connections, and elevate the overall emotional resonance, making the story more engaging and less reliant on the lead character.
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script's emotional core can be strengthened by incorporating greater variety in emotions, such as adding humor and lighter moments to break intense tension, and by deepening character backstories to foster empathy. Focus on balancing emotional intensity through smoother transitions and layered character reactions to create a more engaging and resonant narrative, ultimately enhancing audience connection and reducing fatigue.
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The script's goals and conflicts effectively drive Lieutenant Carla Cain's character arc, emphasizing her internal struggle with grief and truth-seeking, which adds depth to the narrative. To enhance the script from a craft perspective, focus on tightening the pacing around the late resolutions (occurring at 85-95%), ensuring that key internal and external conflicts build tension earlier to maintain audience engagement and avoid a rushed climax. Additionally, exploring the philosophical conflicts like 'truth vs. loyalty' more explicitly in dialogue and actions could enrich thematic layers and make Cain's journey more relatable and impactful.
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The script's strong thematic focus on the pursuit of truth and justice is a solid foundation, but to enhance its creative impact, consider deepening character backstories and emotional arcs, particularly around loss and sacrifice, to make Carla's journey more relatable and poignant. Tighten pacing in action sequences to better balance the exploration of corruption and the unknown, ensuring that the sci-fi elements amplify rather than overshadow the human drama, which could elevate the story's emotional resonance and avoid clichés in the genre.
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
To elevate the script's creative integrity, focus on strengthening character arcs with gradual development to make pivotal moments feel earned, such as Crimmage's heroism and Cain's sacrifice. Address plot holes and inconsistencies by providing logical explanations for key elements like the moon's behavior and the Russian presence, ensuring they align with the established sci-fi world. Streamline redundancies in dialogue and flashbacks to tighten pacing, fostering a more immersive and emotionally resonant narrative that avoids contrived elements and enhances audience connection.

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
To elevate the script's craft, focus on amplifying the emotional core by integrating more nuanced character backstories and quieter moments of reflection, as seen in the best scene. This will balance the high-tension action with deeper psychological insights, enhancing realism and audience investment, while ensuring that the sharp dialogue doesn't overshadow opportunities for subtle world-building and thematic exploration.
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay effectively blends sci-fi elements with emotional storytelling, but to enhance its craft, focus on adding depth to dialogue through subtext and authenticity, developing characters with richer internal conflicts, and refining pacing for tighter action and emotional sequences. By implementing suggested exercises and studying exemplary works, the writer can create a more immersive and resonant narrative.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The script's world building is robust and immersive, effectively using elements like the living moon Soladar and advanced technology to drive tension and themes. To enhance creative craft, focus on tightening the integration of physical environments with character arcs—such as deepening Cain's personal rituals with the Starcrash figure to symbolize her growth—and ensure cultural and societal elements avoid exposition-heavy dialogues, opting for show-don't-tell moments to heighten emotional stakes and narrative flow for a more engaging story.
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The script demonstrates strong emotional depth and tension that effectively drive character development and plot progression, but it underutilizes opportunities in mystery and reflective scenes. To improve, focus on weaving personal stakes into non-emotional moments for better character evolution and integrate subtle conflicts into slower scenes to maintain pacing, ensuring a more cohesive and engaging narrative overall.
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

Comparison with Previous Draft

See how your script has evolved from the previous version. This section highlights improvements, regressions, and changes across all major categories, helping you understand what revisions are working and what may need more attention.

Version Comparison Analysis
Summary of Changes
Improvements (4)
  • Character Complexity - characterDiversity: 7.0 → 8.0 +1.0
  • Conflict - conflictIntegration: 7.2 → 8.0 +0.8
  • Premise - premiseClarity: 7.3 → 8.0 +0.7
  • Character Complexity - characterRelatability: 7.4 → 8.0 +0.6
Areas to Review (0)

No regressions detected