Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Overview

Unique Selling Point

Delve into a captivating tale where the duality of human nature takes center stage. "Duality" explores the eternal battle between good and evil, morality and ambition, and love and sacrifice. With its unique blend of philosophical depth, suspenseful moments, and compelling characters, this script stands out as a thought-provoking and emotionally resonant cinematic experience.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines’ ratings to compare.

Gemini
Consider

GPT4
Consider

See Details in P/C/R/HR Section

Story Facts

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror, Romance, Mystery, Psychological Thriller, Historical, Period Piece, Period, Historical Fiction, Sci-Fi, Tragedy

Setting: Late Victorian England, London

Themes: Good vs. Evil, The Dangers of Science, The Power of Love, The Importance of Self-Control

Conflict & Stakes: Jekyll's struggle to control his transformation into Hyde, and the threat that Hyde poses to his loved ones and society. Jekyll's reputation and his relationship with Beatrix are at stake, as well as the safety of the people around him.

Mood: Dark and suspenseful, with a sense of impending doom.

Standout Features:

Unique Hook: The Jekyll and Hyde story is a classic that has been adapted many times, but this screenplay offers a fresh take on the story by focusing on the psychological and emotional aspects of Jekyll's transformation.
Plot Twist: The revelation that Dr. Lanyon is aware of Jekyll's secret and has been helping him all along is a major plot twist that adds an extra layer of suspense to the story.
Distinctive Setting: The film is set in Victorian London, a time and place that is both familiar and exotic, adding to the film's atmosphere and appeal.
Unique Character: Mr. Hyde is a truly iconic villain, and his presence in the film is sure to generate excitement and anticipation among audiences.

Comparable Scripts: Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, The Incredible Hulk, Spider-Man, The Wolf Man, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Exorcist, The Shining, Psycho, The Silence of the Lambs

Script Level Analysis

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

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Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

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Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

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Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

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Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

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Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

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Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

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Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart

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The screenplay excels in emotional depth and character growth but could benefit from improved pacing and a stronger external goal to enhance its overall impact.

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Key Strengths

**Strong Emotional Impact (82.93%)**: The screenplay effectively evokes strong emotions in the reader, creating a powerful and engaging experience.
**High Character Changes (95.04%)**: The characters undergo significant growth and transformation throughout the story, adding depth and relatability.

Areas for Improvement

**Low Pacing Score (5.39%)**: The story may benefit from a more engaging pacing, keeping the reader invested throughout.
**Weak External Goal (29.90%)**: Developing a stronger external goal for the protagonist can provide a clearer direction and drive the plot forward.

Writer Style

The percentile patterns suggest an **intuitive writing style**, with higher rankings in character development and dialogue compared to plot and concept.

Balancing Elements

Consider balancing the emotional impact with a stronger pacing to maintain reader engagement.
Explore ways to enhance the external goal while maintaining the strengths in character development.

Intuition Level

Intuitive

Overall Assessment

The screenplay showcases potential in emotional impact and character development. By addressing areas such as pacing and external goal, the writer can elevate the overall effectiveness of the story.

How this was done: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault (such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other produced scripts for each criteria.

How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library

Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.

Title	Grade	Percentile	Before	After
Script Structure	8.30	86	Parasite: 8.20	Casablanca: 8.30
Scene Character Changes	7.6	85	Parasite: 7.5	Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde : 7.6
Script Premise	8.70	82	Ex-Machina: 8.60	the black list (TV): 8.70
Script Originality	8.40	80	Ghostbusters: 8.30	Casablanca: 8.40
Script Theme	8.50	74	V for Vendetta: 8.40	face/off: 8.50
Scene Conflict Level	8.1	73	Ex-Machina: 8.0	fight Club: 8.1
Scene Emotional Impact	8.3	73	American Fiction: 8.2	face/off: 8.3
Scene Concept	8.3	70	Silicon Valley: 8.2	the 5th element: 8.3
Scene Story Forward	8.3	65	The Brutalist: 8.2	Titanic: 8.3
Scene Internal Goal	8.08	60	Parasite: 8.07	face/off: 8.08
Scene High Stakes	7.7	57	Stranger Things: 7.6	Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde : 7.7
Scene Characters	8.4	54	Silicon Valley: 8.3	True Blood: 8.4
Scene Overall	8.4	51	Silicon Valley: 8.3	Knives Out: 8.4
Scene Engagement	8.96	49	Conclave: 8.95	Rambo: 8.96
Overall Script	8.06	47	A Complete Unknown: 8.05	Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde : 8.06
Scene Originality	8.68	46	The Greatest Showman: 8.67	True Blood: 8.68
Script Emotional Impact	7.80	45	Inside Out: 7.70	Erin Brokovich: 7.80
Scene Unpredictability	7.41	44	Pawn sacrifice: 7.40	Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde : 7.41
Scene Plot	7.9	41	Manchester by the sea: 7.8	the 5th element: 7.9
Scene Dialogue	7.6	33	Coco: 7.5	the boys (TV): 7.6
Script Characters	7.70	27	The Brutalist: 7.60	Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde : 7.70
Scene External Goal	7.07	23	Triangle of sadness: 7.06	Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde : 7.07
Script Structure	8.05	22	Blackkklansman: 8.04	Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde : 8.05
Scene Formatting	8.04	20	Women talking: 8.03	True Blood: 8.04
Scene Pacing	8.09	13	Le souvenir des belles choses: 8.08	Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde : 8.09
Script Conflict	7.00	10	Dune Part Two: 6.80	Arsenic and old lace : 7.00
Script Visual Impact	6.70	4	Cruel Intentions: 6.60	True Blood: 6.70

Other Analyses

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

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Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

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Memorable Lines

Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.

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Tropes

Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.

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World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

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Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

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Loglines

Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

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Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

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Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

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Memorable Lines

Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.

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Tropes

Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.

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World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

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Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

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Loglines

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Engine: Gemini

Screenplay Rating:

Consider

Executive Summary

The screenplay of 'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde' is a compelling adaptation of the classic novel, with strong character portrayals, vivid transformation scenes, and a thought-provoking exploration of good and evil. However, the pacing could be improved in the middle section, and there are opportunities to further develop the characters of Ivy and explore the societal context of the story. Overall, the screenplay has the potential to be a successful film with some revisions.

Strengths

Strong opening scene that immediately establishes themes and conflict. high ( Scene 1 (1) Scene 2 (9) Scene 7 (36) )
Jekyll's passion for his research and his belief in its potential are conveyed convincingly, making him a compelling protagonist. high ( Scene 5 (22) Scene 9 (46) Scene 10 (54) )
The love story between Jekyll and Beatrix is well-developed and adds emotional depth to the narrative. medium ( Scene 12 (70) Scene 13 (72) Scene 22 (155) Scene 36 (212) )
The transformation scenes are vividly described and capture the horror and fascination of Jekyll's metamorphosis. high ( Scene 20 (137X) Scene 21 (150) )
Hyde's character is effectively portrayed as both charismatic and terrifying, highlighting the duality of human nature. high ( Scene 25 (174) Scene 26 (179) Scene 27 (188) Scene 30 (196) Scene 33 (205) Scene 34 (205C) )

Areas of Improvement

The pacing of the screenplay could be improved in the middle section, where the focus on Jekyll's experiments slows down the narrative momentum. medium
Ivy's character arc feels underdeveloped and her motivations are not fully explored. medium ( Scene 31 (202) )
The ending could be more impactful and explore the consequences of Jekyll's actions in greater depth. medium

MissingElements

The screenplay could benefit from exploring the societal context of Victorian London and how it contributes to the themes of repression and duality. medium
There is an opportunity to delve deeper into the psychological aspects of Jekyll's transformation and the internal struggle between good and evil. medium

NotablePoints

The screenplay effectively uses dialogue to convey the philosophical and moral questions at the heart of the story. high
The use of music as a motif throughout the screenplay adds emotional resonance and symbolism. medium ( Scene 11 (64) Scene 12 (70) )

Engine: GPT4

Screenplay Rating:

Consider

Executive Summary

The screenplay for 'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde' offers a compelling exploration of duality and the human psyche through the well-executed character arc of Dr. Jekyll. The transformation scenes are particularly strong, providing the horror and suspense that would attract audiences. However, the pacing and development of secondary characters could be improved to enhance the overall narrative.

Strengths

The screenplay opens with a strong and engaging scene that sets the tone for the dual nature of the main character. high ( Scene 1 (1) )
The transformation scenes are vividly described, enhancing the horror and suspense elements of the screenplay. high ( Scene 10 (10) )
The character development of Dr. Jekyll is well-executed, showing his internal conflict and descent into madness. high ( Scene 14 (14) )
The dialogue is sharp and engaging, particularly in scenes where Jekyll interacts with other characters about his controversial experiments. medium ( Scene 22 (22) )
The climax is effectively dramatic, providing a satisfying and thematic conclusion to the story. high ( Scene 50 (50) )

Areas of Improvement

Some scenes, particularly in the middle of the screenplay, could benefit from tighter pacing to maintain suspense. medium ( Scene 5 (5) )
The motivations of secondary characters are sometimes unclear and could be better developed to enhance the story. medium ( Scene 8 (8) )
There are occasional lapses in tone that could be smoothed out to keep the atmosphere consistent. low ( Scene 3 (3) )
The use of horror elements sometimes overshadows the psychological depth of the story, which could be balanced better. medium ( Scene 12 (12) )
The scientific explanations are sometimes too complex and could be simplified for clarity and better audience engagement. low ( Scene 17 (17) )

MissingElements

The screenplay could benefit from more scenes showing the impact of Jekyll's transformation on the wider community. medium ( Scene 20 (20) )

NotablePoints

The opening scene effectively sets up the story's central themes and hooks the audience's interest. high ( Scene 1 (1) )

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Screenplay Insights:

Overall Grade: 8.06

Characters: 7.7, The screenplay presents a compelling portrayal of characters, effectively capturing their complexities, transformations, and emotional journeys. However, there are opportunities for further development and enhancement to deepen the audience's connection to the characters and heighten the narrative's emotional impact. See More

Premise: 8.7, The screenplay's premise effectively establishes a captivating and clear foundation, building upon the classic Jekyll and Hyde story with intriguing explorations of duality, societal expectations, and the complexities of human nature. While the core concept is familiar, the screenplay's unique approach to character dynamics and thematic depth offers a fresh perspective. However, there's potential to further enhance the premise by delving deeper into the motivations behind Jekyll's experiments and exploring the societal context that fuels his obsession with separating good and evil. See More

Structure: 8.3, The screenplay's structure effectively builds tension and engages the audience through its exploration of the protagonist's inner conflict and the exploration of good versus evil. However, the plot could benefit from a more cohesive resolution to fully satisfy the audience. See More

Theme: 8.5, The screenplay effectively explores its themes of good versus evil, the duality of human nature, and the consequences of unchecked ambition. These themes are woven into the narrative through the character arcs of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, creating a compelling and thought-provoking story. See More

Visual Impact: 6.7, The screenplay exhibits thoughtful visual imagery and has the potential to deliver a visually engaging film. The utilization of social events and locations, such as the church, hospital, and dinner parties, offers a range of visual textures and opportunities for visually impactful scenes. However, there are areas where enhancing the screenplay's visual storytelling would significantly elevate the audience's immersive experience and emotional connection to the story. See More

Emotional Impact: 7.8, The screenplay exhibits emotional depth and resonance in its exploration of the battle between good and evil within the human psyche. However, it has the potential to further enhance its emotional impact by expanding the emotional depth of certain characters and refining its exploration of the emotional consequences of the protagonist's actions. See More

Conflict: 7.0, The screenplay presents a compelling conflict and significant stakes, establishing a solid foundation for narrative tension and audience engagement. However, certain enhancements could deepen the conflict, elevate the stakes, and create a more rewarding and impactful story. See More

Originality: 8.4, The screenplay demonstrates originality and creativity in its exploration of the duality between good and evil within a single individual, focusing on the psychological and physical transformations of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The screenplay delves into complex themes of morality, repression, and the struggle against inner demons, leading to a captivating and thought-provoking narrative. See More

Summary As tensions rise and secrets are revealed, Dr. Jekyll's dangerous experiments take a tragic turn. Driven by his thirst for scientific discovery and his internal struggles, Jekyll's alter ego, Mr. Hyde, wreaks havoc and brings about destruction. With the help of his friends and the law, Jekyll must face the consequences of his actions and confront the darkness within himself. Amidst heartbreak, betrayal, and violence, the line between good and evil blurs, leaving a trail of despair and tragedy in its wake.

Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The screenplay presents a compelling and suspenseful plot with well-developed characters and a thought-provoking exploration of the duality of human nature. The beginning establishes a strong foundation with the introduction of Dr. Jekyll and his involvement in ethical and scientific experimentation. The middle part effectively builds tension and intrigue as the consequences of Jekyll's actions unfold, culminating in his transformation into the sinister Mr. Hyde. The ending provides a satisfying resolution while exploring the moral implications of Jekyll's choices. Overall, the plot is engaging, the characters are relatable, and the themes are timeless, resulting in a well-crafted story.

Suggestions: To further enhance the screenplay, consider exploring the motivations and backstory of Mr. Hyde more deeply. This could provide a richer understanding of his actions and add complexity to the character. Additionally, the pacing in the middle of the screenplay could be adjusted to maintain a consistent level of suspense and ensure that the transition between the different plot points is smooth and engaging.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here

Beginning The beginning of the screenplay effectively sets the tone and introduces the central conflict. The opening scene in the church, with the disruption by Mr. Higgins and the calm demeanor of Dr. Jekyll, establishes the tension between the respectable facade of society and the lurking darkness beneath the surface. The introduction of Dr. Heath and his concerns about Jekyll's experiments adds an ethical dimension to the narrative. Overall, the beginning successfully engages the audience and sets the stage for the upcoming events.

Suggestions: To enhance the beginning, consider expanding on the relationship between Jekyll and his colleagues. Establishing their dynamics and opinions of Jekyll's research would add depth to the characters and strengthen the foundation of the conflict. Additionally, providing more context about the specific nature of Jekyll's experiments could help ground the scientific aspects of the story and make them more relatable to the audience.

Middle The middle part of the screenplay effectively builds tension and suspense as the consequences of Jekyll's actions unfold. The transformation into Mr. Hyde is handled well, creating a sense of danger and unpredictability. The interactions between Jekyll and Hyde highlight the internal struggle within the character and provide a commentary on the duality of human nature. The subplot involving Ivy adds a layer of emotional depth and raises questions about morality and redemption. Overall, the middle part successfully keeps the audience engaged and invested in the characters' fates.

Suggestions: To enhance the middle part, consider expanding on the relationship between Jekyll and Lanyon. Their friendship and differing viewpoints could provide a stronger emotional core to the story. Additionally, exploring the impact of Hyde's actions on the wider community could add weight to the consequences of Jekyll's experiments. This could be achieved through scenes depicting the fear and chaos caused by Hyde's presence.

Ending The ending of the screenplay provides a satisfying resolution while exploring the moral implications of Jekyll's choices. The confrontation between Jekyll and Hyde is intense and dramatic, highlighting the ultimate battle between good and evil within the human psyche. The resolution offers a sense of closure while also leaving room for contemplation about the complexities of human nature. The final scenes bring the story to a poignant and thought-provoking conclusion.

Suggestions: To enhance the ending, consider adding a scene that provides more insight into the transformation and redemption of Jekyll. This could help the audience better understand his motivations and the journey he has undertaken. Additionally, exploring the long-term consequences of Jekyll's actions on the characters and society could add depth to the resolution and reinforce the themes of the story.

CharacterInconsistencies

Character Dr. Jekyll
Description Dr. Jekyll's decision to send Beatrix away despite their deep love and her willingness to stay feels inconsistent with his passionate character and their established relationship. It appears driven by plot necessity rather than genuine character motivation.
( Scene 22 (155) )
Character Sir Charles Emery
Description Sir Charles' sudden change of heart regarding the marriage, especially after his strong disapproval and insistence on Beatrix leaving for the Continent, feels abrupt and lacks a convincing justification within his otherwise firm and traditional character.
( Scene 37 (212) )

StoryInconsistencies

Description The explanation of Mr. Hyde's physical appearance changing with each transformation is unclear and inconsistent. The script mentions variations without providing a clear logic or explanation for these changes.
( Scene 20 (137) )

PlotHoles

Description The script doesn't explain how Dr. Jekyll, after transforming into Mr. Hyde, acquires knowledge of Ivy Pearson's residence and personal details, including the specific events that transpired during his previous encounter with her as Jekyll.
( Scene 21 (150) Scene 25 (174) )

DialogueAuthenticity

Description The barmaid's dialogue, while attempting to portray a lower-class individual, occasionally feels forced and stereotypical, relying on cliched expressions and mannerisms.
( Scene 15 (122) )

Redundancies

Element Descriptions of violence and brutality inflicted by Mr. Hyde
( Scene 26 (179) Scene 27 (187) Scene 29 (194) Scene 33 (205) )
Suggestion While emphasizing Hyde's brutality is important, the repeated descriptions of his violent acts could be streamlined to maintain narrative impact while avoiding unnecessary repetition.

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Dr. - Score: 17/100

Aliases

none

Role

Protagonist

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

A dedicated physician struggling with the duality of man.

Complexity And Depth 8/10

A man torn between scientific ambition and moral integrity.

Foundational Definition

Score: 9

Dr. Henry Jekyll is a dedicated physician whose commitment to science and understanding of human nature leads him to experiment with the duality of man. He values reason and integrity, striving to separate the virtuous aspects of his character from the more primal and immoral impulses he believes everyone possesses. This foundational desire to control and understand his darker side ultimately drives him into a tragic conflict with his alter ego, Mr. Hyde.

Values And Beliefs: Science, integrity, human duality.

Strengths And Skills: Exceptional medical knowledge, intelligence, and a deep moral consciousness.

Suggestions

Explore more of Jekyll's motivations behind his experiments in detail.
Delve into Jekyll's relationships with other characters to highlight his inner conflict.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events in Jekyll's past led him to pursue his experiments with human duality?
How does Jekyll's perspective on morality conflict with the societal standards of his time?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 8

Jekyll wrestles with profound internal conflicts stemming from his scientific pursuits and the societal expectations thrust upon him. His emotional wounds reveal his fears of inadequacy and his inability to control the darker aspects of his nature. As he transforms into Hyde and commits horrific acts, the complexity of his character deepens, showing a man caught between enlightenment and depravity.

Character Wound: Fear of losing control over his own identity.

Character Flaws: Arrogance, obsession with scientific experimentation, inability to face the consequences of his actions.

Suggestions

Heighten Jekyll's emotional struggles throughout key scenes to better connect with the audience.
Incorporate flashbacks to showcase formative moments in Jekyll's life that shaped his character.

Follow-up Questions

What are Jekyll's thoughts on the consequences of his experiments?
How do his emotional wounds affect his relationships with other characters?

Mr. - Score: 90/100

Role

Antagonist

Personality

MBTI: ENTP
Enneagram: Type 8 - The Challenger

Scenes

Strongest: #48
Weakest: #3

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

Hyde is the embodiment of Jekyll's suppressed primal instincts.

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Hyde's nature reflects internal conflict and societal rejection of primal desires.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 9/10

Hyde’s character arc is primarily defined by the escalation of his violent tendencies as he increasingly overwhelms Jekyll.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Hyde's dialogue is often crude and confrontational, highlighting his brutish nature.

Behavior And Choices 9/10

Hyde showcases reckless and impulsive behavior, often making choices driven by primal instincts.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Hyde’s relationships are marked by manipulation, fear, and violence, reflecting his chaotic nature.

Scene Impact 9/10

Hyde's presence often introduces chaos and violence, shifting the emotional tone of scenes.

Role Fulfillment 10/10

Hyde serves as the primary antagonist, representing Jekyll's inner darkness.

Thematic Plot Integration 10/10

Hyde’s journey intertwines with themes of duality, repression, and the moral implications of scientific exploration.

Emotional Resonance 10/10

Hyde’s character evokes profound emotional responses.

Foundational Definition

Score: 9

Mr. Hyde is the darker alter ego of Dr. Jekyll, representing the primal, base instincts and desires that Jekyll struggles to suppress within himself. Hyde embodies chaos, violence, and unrestrained ambition, contrasting sharply with Jekyll's socially acceptable persona. This duality reflects the Victorian societal struggles with morality and repression. Hyde's existence crystallizes the theme of the duality of human nature, serving as Jekyll's external manifestation of internal conflicts.

Values And Beliefs: Power, freedom from societal norms, exploration of human nature's darker side.

Strengths And Skills: Charismatic, physically strong, skilled at manipulating others’ perceptions.

Suggestions

Explore Hyde's motivations further to enrich understanding of his character.
Delve into Hyde's background to see if there are any events that might have led to his emergence.

Follow-up Questions

What internal struggles from Jekyll's perspective lead to the emergence of Hyde?
How does Hyde's presence affect Jekyll's relationships with other characters?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 8

Hyde's existence illustrates profound internal conflict. He represents the aspects of humanity that society deem unacceptable, and while he temporarily provides Jekyll with liberation, he ultimately is a source of internal torment. This complexity is enhanced by Hyde’s relish for chaos and violence, which provides him enjoyment while simultaneously highlighting the destructiveness of such freedoms. The continuous war between Hyde and Jekyll makes for a tragic exploration of the duality of man.

Character Flaws: Excessive pride, lack of empathy, relishes chaos and violence.

Suggestions

Increase tension between Hyde's primal desires and Jekyll's moral obligations.
Reveal more about Hyde's past interactions with others to heighten emotional stakes.

Follow-up Questions

What past experiences shaped Hyde's view of the world?
How does Hyde reconcile with the destructive consequences of his actions?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 9

Hyper-focused on primal urges, Hyde becomes progressively more dominant throughout the narrative. Initially a mere escape for Jekyll, he transforms into a fully autonomous character whose actions are increasingly detached from Jekyll's more civilized perspective. His emergence intrudes on Jekyll's world, leading to a tragic escalation where Hyde's desires culminate in both his and Jekyll's downfall.

Polarity Changes: Transition from being a hidden identity to becoming a dominant force in Jekyll's life.

Transformation Triggers: The continual suppression of Jekyll's desires leads to Hyde's increasing boldness.

Suggestions

Clarify the turning points that lead to Hyde overtaking Jekyll.
Illustrate moments where Jekyll's control slips to highlight Hyde's growing influence.

Follow-up Questions

What specific actions or pressures lead to Hyde’s ultimate emergence?
How does Hyde’s character serve as a cautionary tale about repression?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Hyde’s speech is characterized by a confident, almost savage tone. Unlike Jekyll, his vocabulary is stark and lacks the decorum expected in society. This dialogue enhances his character as an agent of chaos, contrasting sharply with Jekyll's more refined speech patterns. Hyde’s language also serves as a means of intimidation, making his presence loom larger in scenes where conflict arises.

Unique Voice: Hyde speaks in a raw, aggressive manner that reflects his chaotic personality.

Suggestions

Consider injecting more subtleties into Hyde's dialogue to reflect his complexity.
Create more contrasts in dialogue between Hyde and Jekyll to showcase their relationship.

Follow-up Questions

What dialogue choices best emphasize Hyde's ruthless nature?
How does Hyde’s speech evolve through encounters with other characters?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 9

Hyde's behavior is defined by a lack of inhibition, resulting in reckless choices that ultimately lead to destruction. His motivations drive him to commit unthinkable acts, which creates tension and conflict within the story. The immediate gratification Hyde seeks leads to far-reaching consequences, especially in his interactions with other characters. His choices demonstrate the darker aspects of human nature and the dangers of unchecked desires.

Motivations: Desire for freedom from societal restrictions and engagement in chaotic behavior.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to indulge in pure hedonism clash with the need to respect society's laws and norms.

Suggestions

Develop scenes that illustrate Hyde's impulsiveness leading to confrontational outcomes.
Showcase his decision-making process to expose his character's motivations.

Follow-up Questions

What consequences arise from Hyde's impulsive actions?
How do other characters react to Hyde's behavior and choices?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Hyde's interactions with other characters are often tense and filled with conflict. His manipulative nature impacts his relationships, transforming them into power struggles or fearful encounters. Highlighting these dynamics can deepen not only the understanding of Hyde himself but also the reactions and decisions of those around him. He establishes himself as a direct threat to those in Jekyll's life, such as Beatrix.

Suggestions

Explore dynamics between Hyde and those he targets to enhance conflict and tension.
Contrast Hyde's relationships with Jekyll's more stable connections to offer insight into duality.

Follow-up Questions

How does Hyde's presence reshape the relationships that Jekyll has with others?
What impacts do Hyde’s choices have on his significant relationships?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

Hyde generates conflict and upheaval, often serving as a catalyst for tension in scenes. When he appears, the stakes heighten dramatically, compelling characters like Jekyll to confront their darker selves. His actions often lead to direct crises, emphasizing the broader themes of the screenplay, such as the struggle for identity and the cost of unrestricted desire.

Suggestions

Consider amplifying the emotional turmoil in scenes where Hyde clashes with others.
Introduce consequences for characters affected by Hyde's chaotic nature.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes are most impacted by Hyde's volatile presence?
How can his interactions deepen the emotional stakes in those scenes?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 10

Hyde fulfills the role of the antagonist but also represents a deeper moral conflict within Jekyll. His emergence serves to highlight the struggle between civilization and primal instinct, effectively creating a powerful narrative tension. Each encounter with Hyde reveals Jekyll's struggles with morality, identity, and the consequences of repressed desires, solidifying Hyde's role as central to the story's dramatic arc.

Symbolic Role: Hyde symbolizes the primal, uncivilized aspect of humanity, challenging societal norms.

Suggestions

Ensure Hyde’s actions consistently reflect the thematic weight he carries in Jekyll’s narrative.
Enhance Hyde's role in contrast to Jekyll to exemplify the duality of human nature.

Follow-up Questions

How effectively does Hyde's character illustrate the conflict between good and evil?
What specific moments mark his role as a central antagonist in the story?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 10

Hyde complicates the narrative by bringing to the fore the themes of the duality of man, the struggle against societal norms, and the consequences of unchecked ambition. His actions drive the plot forward and deepen the thematic exploration of morality versus instinct. Hyde's character serves as a living testament to the dangers that arise when one fails to balance their dual nature, serving as a cautionary tale within the text.

Suggestions

Further examine themes through scenes focused on Hyde's actions and their repercussions.
Make explicit connections between Hyde's motivations and the screenplay's core themes.

Follow-up Questions

What additional elements can be introduced to emphasize Hyde’s thematic significance?
How do Hyde's actions influence the overall message of the screenplay?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 10

Hyde effectively elicits strong emotional responses, often drawing viewers into moral dilemmas as they witness his unrelenting actions. Through his character, the audience grapples with concepts of good versus evil, morality, and the darker facets of human nature, leading to a visceral experience in witnessing Hyde’s actions and transformations.

Emotional Impact: Mr. Hyde evokes fear, disgust, and fascination in the audience as he embodies primal instincts.

Suggestions

Heighten scenes showcasing Hyde’s violent actions for greater emotional impact.
Create a juxtaposition between Jekyll and Hyde to enhance the emotional stakes.

Follow-up Questions

What specific scenes or actions of Hyde evoke the strongest reactions from the audience?
How can the screenplay better utilize Hyde's chaotic nature to connect emotionally with viewers?

Personality Types

MBTI: entp

Hyde exhibits traits of a typical ENTP—manipulative, spontaneous, and showcasing a high level of creativity in his chaos. His approach to conflict aligns with the boldness characteristic of ENTPs.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: intj (60%)

Suggestions

Utilize the ENTP traits to enhance Hyde's manipulation of others during critical scenes.
Ensure Hyde's interactions reflect his perception of others as pawns in his game.

Follow-up Questions

How does Hyde’s MBTI influence his decision-making throughout the screenplay?
In what ways can Hyde's ENTP characteristics lead to his downfall?

Enneagram: type 8 - the challenger

Hyde fits the profile of an Enneagram Type 8 due to his assertiveness, desire for control, and an instinct to confront authority. His actions are often driven by a need to dominate.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: type 7 - the enthusiast (60%)

Suggestions

Create scenes emphasizing Hyde’s challenge to authority to reinforce his Type 8 traits.
Contrast his Type 7 enthusiasm for chaos with Jekyll's more stable approach to life.

Follow-up Questions

How do Hyde's Enneagram traits interact with Jekyll's during pivotal story moments?
What situations highlight Hyde's Type 8 traits within his relationships with others?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (48)

Hyde’s violent encounter with Beatrix showcases his raw energy and primal instincts.

Why: This scene highlights the chaotic nature of Hyde and the consequences of Jekyll's duality.

Weakest Scene (3)

Hyde's correctional response to the constables is underwhelming, failing to showcase his true chaotic nature.

Why: The scene underutilizes Hyde’s potency, missing an opportunity for visceral conflict.

Suggestions:

Re-write the scene to amplify Hyde's unrestrained nature against the constables.
Incorporate dialogue that reveals more about Hyde’s motives during confrontations.

Beatrix - Score: 77/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ISFJ
Enneagram: Type 2 - The Helper

Scenes

Strongest: #12

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Beatrix embodies love and loyalty, shaped by her respectable upbringing.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Beatrix struggles with the tension between love and societal expectations.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 6/10

Beatrix's love drives her actions, but external pressures create a stasis in her character's journey.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Beatrix's dialogue is filled with emotion, revealing her warmth and vulnerability, but also her despair as circumstances shift.

Behavior And Choices 7/10

Beatrix's decisions are often motivated by love, yet thwarted by outside forces.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Beatrix's relationships reveal her heart; especially with Jekyll, it reflects her values and societal expectations.

Scene Impact 7/10

Beatrix's presence often lifts the emotional tone; her absence creates noticeable tension.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Beatrix plays a crucial role as the emotional heart of the story, embodying the conflict between love and societal duty.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Her journey intertwines with themes of love, sacrifice, and identity amidst the backdrop of societal pressures.

Emotional Resonance 9/10

Beatrix evokes strong emotional connections tied to love, loss, and vulnerability.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Beatrix embodies the ideals of love, loyalty, and the aspiration for a brighter future. She comes from a respectable family, which shapes her values around duty and the need for social approval. She is engaged to Dr. Jekyll, and her deep emotional connection with him signifies her belief in love as a guiding force. This foundational belief drives her actions and reactions throughout the screenplay.

Values And Beliefs: Love is paramount and should be fiercely protected., Family reputation and social standing matter., Personal happiness is deeply tied to romantic fulfillment.

Strengths And Skills: Empathetic listener, Strong emotional resilience, Ability to articulate feelings clearly

Suggestions

Develop scenes that showcase Beatrix's emotional struggles to enrich her character depth.
Create dialogue that reveals her awareness of societal pressures.

Follow-up Questions

How does Beatrix's view of love shape her decisions throughout the screenplay?
What moments emphasize her internal conflict between familial duty and personal happiness?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Beatrix grapples with the tension between her love for Jekyll and the expectations imposed by her father and society. Her emotional wounds stem from fear of losing Jekyll, which is exacerbated by his erratic behavior and her father's disapproval. This struggle between her desires and fears adds layers to her character, showcasing her vulnerabilities and inner strength.

Character Wound: Fear of losing Jekyll and not fulfilling her societal role.

Character Flaws: Naivety about the realities of Jekyll's situation., Struggles with the pressure of familial expectations.

Suggestions

Highlight her emotional response to Jekyll's instability to deepen her character arch.
Create scenarios that force her to confront her fears head-on.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events challenge Beatrix to confront her fears?
How does Beatrix reconcile her love for Jekyll with the societal pressures she faces?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 6

Beatrix evolves from an innocent, hopeful young woman to one who confronts harsh realities. Her experiences lead her to a deeper understanding of love's complexities and the barriers that societal expectations impose. This arc highlights her growth while pushing her to question what it truly means to love someone like Jekyll.

Polarity Changes: Her relationship with Jekyll fluctuates from idealistic to heartbroken as the story progresses.

Transformation Triggers: Jekyll's changing demeanor and her father's disapproval push her to evaluate her situation.

Suggestions

Incorporate more scenes that depict her emotional state during key changes.
Clarify turning points when Beatrix reassesses her relationship with Jekyll.

Follow-up Questions

What key moments shift Beatrix's perspective on her relationship?
How does Beatrix define her happiness by the end of the screenplay?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Beatrix's vocabulary is steeped in affection and hope, reflecting her endearing quality as a character throughout the screenplay. As her situation becomes more dire and she feels increasingly vulnerable, her dialogue shifts to reveal helplessness, which heightens her emotional resonance with the audience.

Unique Voice: Her speech patterns often mix warmth with an underlying fragility, particularly when discussing her feelings for Jekyll.

Suggestions

Create more impactful dialogue during emotional climaxes to better illustrate her internal struggle.
Use subtext in her dialogue to amplify her sense of helplessness or determination.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways does Beatrix's dialogue evolve as she encounters obstacles?
How could her voice reflect her transition from hope to despair?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 7

Her choices reflect an unwavering commitment to her love for Jekyll, even as she faces rejection and disappointment. She actively seeks to bridge the gaps in their communication, which underscores her emotional investment and highlights her determination to protect their love.

Motivations: Her primary motivation is love—specifically, her desire to be with Jekyll despite the circumstances.

Desires Vs Needs: Externally, she desires a fulfilling relationship with Jekyll; internally, she longs for security and acceptance from her father.

Suggestions

Deepen her agency by showcasing how Beatrix takes initiative in seeking Jekyll.
Explore the consequences of her choices and how they impact her relationship with her father.

Follow-up Questions

What key decisions does Beatrix face that significantly shape her journey?
How does she balance her desires with her needs, especially under pressure?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Her relationship with Jekyll is the core of her narrative, defined by both passionate love and tragic obstacles. Additionally, the tension with her father adds a layer of complexity to her character, as she struggles between familial loyalty and romantic attraction.

Suggestions

Amplify the conflict with her father to enhance dramatic stakes.
Create moments that deepen her intimacy with Jekyll to amplify emotional resonance.

Follow-up Questions

How do Beatrix's relationships influence her decision-making throughout the screenplay?
What does her relationship with Jekyll reveal about her growth or transformation by the end?

Scene Impact

Score: 7

In moments of tension and crisis, Beatrix serves as a stabilizing force. Each time she actively engages with Jekyll, her love and support are palpable. Conversely, when she is absent or pushed away, the narrative grows more somber, intensifying the emotional impact on the audience.

Suggestions

Strategically place Beatrix in key scenes to emphasize her emotional influence on outcomes.
Draw parallels between her presence and the emotional climate within scenes to enhance engagement.

Follow-up Questions

Which scenes become pivotal due to Beatrix's involvement?
How does her emotional state shift the energy of scenes around her?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

As Jekyll's love interest, Beatrix fulfills the role of the compassionate partner but also starkly represents what he risks losing through his experiments. Her character encapsulates the themes of love versus ambition and the societal standards limiting genuine connection.

Symbolic Role: She symbolizes the idealistic notion of love as healing but also serves as a foil to Jekyll's struggles with his duality.

Suggestions

Strengthen her positioning as a balance to Jekyll’s darker tendencies by emphasizing her emotional insights.
Explore ways in which Beatrix influences the plot's progression through her choices.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways does Beatrix challenge or reinforce Jekyll's arc throughout the narrative?
How could her character symbolically represent broader themes in the screenplay?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Beatrix's experiences encapsulate the struggle between personal desire and external obligations, emphasizing the theme of love as both a source of strength and vulnerability. Her interactions with Jekyll serve as critical lenses through which the central conflict of duality and identity play out.

Suggestions

Highlight thematic parallels in Beatrix's storyline to deepen engagement.
Develop connections between her journey and the social expectations of women in her era.

Follow-up Questions

How does Beatrix’s narrative reflect the overarching themes of the screenplay?
What does her arc suggest about the nature of love in a constrained society?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 9

Beatrix effectively elicits emotional responses from the audience, showcasing vulnerability that resonates with viewers. Her unwavering love for Jekyll, amid challenges, invites empathy and tension, making her journey particularly impactful.

Emotional Impact: Tension and sympathy as audiences connect deeply with her struggles and desires.

Suggestions

Enhance emotional beats in pivotal moments for greater audience connection.
Create contrasts between Beatrix's joy and despair to intensify emotional resonance.

Follow-up Questions

What specific audience emotions are most effectively triggered by Beatrix's conflicts?
How can her emotional journey be further accentuated for greater impact?

Personality Types

MBTI: isfj

Beatrix displays a nurturing, loyal character typical of ISFJs, prioritizing relationships and valuing tradition.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: esfj (20%)

Suggestions

Utilize traits of ISFJ to develop her protective instincts.
Explore ESFJ qualities to portray her extroverted warmth in social settings.

Follow-up Questions

How do her ISFJ traits manifest in her interactions with other characters?
In what ways could an ESFJ approach influence her relationship dynamics with Jekyll and her father?

Enneagram: type 2 - the helper

Beatrix's selflessness and nurturing qualities suggest a Type 2 character, eager to assist others and deeply invested in her relationships.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: type 6 - the loyalist (15%)

Suggestions

Leverage her Type 2 traits to heighten her emotional responses in pivotal moments.
Explore Type 6 characteristics when depicting her anxiety about Jekyll's well-being.

Follow-up Questions

How could her Type 2 tendencies be highlighted during her interactions with Jekyll?
What situations might reveal her Type 6 loyalties, especially regarding her father?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (12)

Beatrix's intimate moment with Jekyll, where they explore their shared love and plans for the future.

Why: This scene showcases her vulnerability, emotional intensity, and deep connection to Jekyll, illustrating her balance as a character caught between love and external pressure.

Weakest Scene (0)

none

Why: none

Suggestions:

none
none

Ivy - Score: 73/100

Personality

MBTI: ISFJ
Enneagram: Type 2 (The Helper)

Scenes

Strongest: #16
Weakest: #14

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 7/10

Victim struggling for freedom and identity

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Internal struggle with fear and longing for freedom

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 6/10

Ivy's journey revolves around her quest for autonomy amidst oppression.

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Ivy's dialogue fluctuates between vulnerability and resilience.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Ivy's choices largely stem from her desire to escape her toxic environment.

Relationship Dynamics 7/10

Ivy's relationships are fraught with fear, longing, and abuse.

Scene Impact 7/10

Ivy's presence often brings tension and reveals character complexity.

Role Fulfillment 7/10

Ivy serves as a significant catalyst in the lives of men around her.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Ivy's journey intertwines with the screenplay's exploration of duality and abuse.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Ivy's character elicits deep emotional connections with the audience.

Foundational Definition

Score: 7

Ivy is portrayed as a young woman who initially possesses a certain vibrancy and spirit. However, her character is deeply affected by the abusive relationship with Mr. Hyde. This relationship has left her emotionally scarred and anxious, lending to her portrayal as a victim of circumstances, deeply tied to her struggle for independence and survival in a challenging world. Ivy's identity is shaped by her experiences of being both objectified and mistreated, which fundamentally affects her outlook on life and love.

Values And Beliefs: Ivy values kindness and love, yet feels despair due to her abusive situation with Hyde.

Strengths And Skills: Resilience and emotional intelligence are evident as she navigates her difficult relationships.

Suggestions

Delve deeper into Ivy's backstory to portray her resilience before meeting Hyde.
Highlight Ivy's interactions with supportive characters to better showcase her strengths.

Follow-up Questions

What specific moments in Ivy's past have contributed to her vulnerability?
How does Ivy envision her future outside of her current circumstances?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 8

Ivy experiences profound emotional turmoil due to her relationship with Hyde, revealing her internal struggle between fear and her longing for freedom. Her emotional wounds from past traumas impact her ability to trust and connect with others. This complexity adds a layer of depth to her character, suggesting potential for growth should she find the resources to escape her toxic environment.

Character Wound: Feeling trapped in an abusive relationship and unable to escape.

Character Flaws: Tendency to doubt herself; lacks assertiveness when dealing with abusive figures.

Suggestions

Incorporate flashbacks to Ivy's life before Hyde to enrich her narrative.
Introduce a supportive mentor character who inspires Ivy to reclaim her agency.

Follow-up Questions

What events led Ivy to initially endure Hyde's abuse?
How would Ivy's character develop if she found a safe escape from her current life?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 6

Throughout the screenplay, Ivy's character faces immense tribulation marked by her interactions with Hyde and the realization of her own vulnerability. While initially hopeful for a kinder relationship, her repeated encounters with cruelty result in her inner conflict. This turmoil reflects both her resilience and despair, ultimately shaping her trajectory toward freedom.

Polarity Changes: Ivy experiences a significant downturn when she becomes aware of Hyde's true nature.

Transformation Triggers: The realization of Hyde's abusive behavior and her efforts to seek help signify pivotal moments.

Suggestions

Clarify pivotal moments in Ivy's arc to heighten emotional stakes.
Explore potential relationships that could catalyze Ivy's transformation.

Follow-up Questions

What moments specifically highlight Ivy's internal conflict?
How could Ivy's interactions with other key characters change her arc?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 7

Throughout the screenplay, Ivy's voice displays vulnerability, often filled with longing and a plea for help. Her dialogue illustrates her desire for love and escape, contrasting her brutal reality with moments of hopeful aspiration. Unique phrases and expressions rooted in her environment paint the picture of a young woman caught between her dreams and her harsh reality.

Unique Voice: Her speech laced with colloquialisms reflects her background and emotional state, often edged with fear when around Hyde.

Suggestions

Enhance Ivy's dialogue to more vividly reflect her emotional struggles.
Incorporate moments where Ivy asserts herself to showcase her inner strength.

Follow-up Questions

What are some pivotal lines of Ivy that highlight her transformation?
How does Ivy's voice change in the presence of different characters?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Ivy navigates her relationships through moments of submission but also demonstrates agency in seeking help, illustrating her internal conflict. Her choices portray a woman yearning for liberation, juxtaposed against the machinations of her manipulative relationship with Hyde. The spectrum of her actions—from seeking assistance to enduring pain—underscores her turmoil and deep longing for a better life.

Motivations: Her primary motivation is to seek freedom from Hyde's abusive influence.

Desires Vs Needs: Ivy desires love and acceptance but needs safety and security above all else.

Suggestions

Deepen the exploration of Ivy's motivations to enhance her character complexity.
Explicitly contrast Ivy's desires with her actions to emphasize her internal struggle.

Follow-up Questions

What key decisions does Ivy make that significantly alter her path?
How do Ivy's choices reflect her evolving stance against her abusive situation?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 7

Ivy's dynamic with Hyde is primarily defined by his violent actions and her resultant fear, positioning him as her primary antagonist. However, her relationship with Jekyll indicates her capacity for love and acceptance, revealing her vulnerability. These connections shape Ivy's experience and underscore her struggle.

Suggestions

Highlight Ivy's interactions with supportive characters to balance her narrative.
Explore the transformative potential of her relationships with others.

Follow-up Questions

How might Ivy's relationships influence her eventual decisions?
What kind of support systems could be introduced for Ivy in her journey?

Scene Impact

Score: 7

Ivy serves as both a victim and a representation of hope. Her interactions reveal hidden layers within other characters, particularly Hyde and Jekyll. Each scene engages the audience through her vulnerability, often evoking sympathy and concern.

Suggestions

Maximize Ivy's impact in shadow or dialogue to enhance emotional stakes.
Elevate moments that show Ivy's strength to balance her vulnerability.

Follow-up Questions

In what scenes does Ivy particularly heighten the emotional tension?
How does Ivy's presence alter the dynamic of pivotal scenes?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 7

Ivy's role in the narrative underscores themes of victimhood, resilience, and emancipation. As the catalyst for Jekyll's emotional awakening, she drives much of the character development in others, emphasizing her function as both a love interest and a critical narrator for the audience. Her evolution or stasis interplays with the broader themes of the narrative.

Symbolic Role: Ivy embodies the struggle against oppression and the quest for freedom.

Suggestions

Explore Ivy's role more dynamically to further align with themes of freedom.
Enhance her interactions with other characters to elevate their development.

Follow-up Questions

What might be Ivy's ultimate end within the narrative?
How can Ivy's role be expanded to challenge or reinforce existing themes?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Ivy's character arc reflects the themes of abuse, transformation, and the quest for self-realization. Her experiences vis-à-vis Hyde highlight the broader narrative's conflict between good and evil within one’s soul. This thematic resonance enriches the plot while showcasing Ivy's personal challenges.

Suggestions

Strengthen the thematic connections by deepening Ivy's internal conflict.
Introduce moments where Ivy confronts these themes head-on.

Follow-up Questions

How does Ivy's character underscore the screenplay's central themes?
What moments explicitly connect Ivy to the greater narrative of good versus evil?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Through her experiences and struggles, Ivy connects deeply with the audience on both emotional and thematic levels. Her plight elicits compassion, while her resilience shines through moments of brightness. This complexity engages viewers, drawing them into her journey.

Emotional Impact: Ivy evokes sympathy and concern from the audience.

Suggestions

Draw out more moments where Ivy shows her inner strength for viewer engagement.
Highlight relationships that deepen Ivy’s emotional complexity.

Follow-up Questions

What moments evoke the strongest feelings in the audience regarding Ivy?
How can Ivy’s emotional struggles be amplified for greater audience connect?

Personality Types

MBTI: isfj

Ivy shows tendencies towards protectiveness and companionship, alongside empathy toward others. She is primarily engaged with her emotional world and remains grounded and stable as she navigates relationships.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: esfj (70%)

Suggestions

Utilize her ISFJ attributes to inform her reactions in high-stress scenarios.
Leverage her skills in emotional reading to heighten interactions.

Follow-up Questions

How does Ivy’s personality shape her reactions to abuse?
What characteristics of the ISFJ type could drive her decisions in pivotal scenes?

Enneagram: type 2 (the helper)

Ivy's inclination to prioritize others' needs and care for those around her strongly aligns with Type 2. Her emotional wounds, however, complicate her capacity to assert her own needs.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: type 6 (the loyalist) (65%)

Suggestions

Use Ivy's strengths as a Helper to support character building and development.
Explore her fears and motivations to add depth to her character.

Follow-up Questions

What specific moments showcase Ivy's type 2 tendencies?
How could Ivy demonstrate the contrast between her helpful nature and her self-sabotaging behavior?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (16)

Ivy's moments where she seeks help and displays vulnerability show her strength as a character.

Why: This scene allows Ivy to be empathetic yet strong, showcasing her depth and emotional complexity.

Weakest Scene (14)

Ivy is depicted as overly submissive during her confrontation with Hyde, which undercuts her character's strength.

Why: This diminishes her multifaceted portrayal and fails to give her agency.

Suggestions:

Strengthen Ivy's assertions in this scene to better reflect her resilience and emotional strength.
Consider adding inner thoughts or dialogue that reveal her struggles while resisting Hyde.

Sir - Score: 71/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ESTJ
Enneagram: Type 1 - The Reformer

Scenes

Strongest: #5
Weakest: #15A

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Traditional, protective father embodying Victorian values.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

A layered character grappling with tradition vs. a daughter's desires.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 5/10

Sir Charles's unwavering beliefs challenge the dynamics of progress within relationships.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Formal and authoritative speech showcases his societal standing.

Behavior And Choices 7/10

His decisions often reflect a tension between tradition and love.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

His relationships reveal the tension between duty and personal happiness.

Scene Impact 6/10

His presence adds tension, and his absence shifts the emotional tone.

Role Fulfillment 7/10

As a father, he upholds traditional values and societal expectations.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

His narrative serves to showcase the struggle between tradition and modernity.

Emotional Resonance 7/10

Stirs mixed feelings of tension and sympathy.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Sir Charles represents the embodiment of Victorian values and societal norms. He is a loving father and a respectable gentleman, showing traits of authority and tradition. His protective instinct for Beatrix highlights his role as a guardian. However, there is an undercurrent of concern in his demeanor, especially regarding the influences on his daughter, demonstrating his values of decorum and reputation.

Values And Beliefs: Respectability, tradition, familial duty, societal expectations

Strengths And Skills: Authority, guidance, social standing

Suggestions

Develop more background on Charles' personal history to illustrate how it informs his views on marriage and respectability.
Incorporate moments that show vulnerability or internal conflict about his daughter's independence.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events in Sir Charles' life made him so protective of Beatrix?
How does Sir Charles reconcile his traditional views with Beatrix's desire for liberation?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Though he initially appears as a pillar of strength, Sir Charles struggles with his daughter's choices and the evolving social landscape. His fear of losing Beatrix to a man like Jekyll shows his emotional depth and the complexity of a father’s love. His stern demeanor often masks deeper fears regarding societal judgment and familial legacy.

Character Wound: Fear of loss and societal judgment regarding his family's respectability

Character Flaws: Overprotectiveness, rigidity in beliefs about social class and marriage

Suggestions

Introduce flashbacks to show his own youthful romantic struggles, paralleling Beatrix's situation.
Create dialogues where Sir Charles reflects on the changes in society, exposing his internal struggle.

Follow-up Questions

How does Sir Charles balance fatherly duty with his respect for Beatrix's autonomy?
What internal conflicts does he face when dealing with Jekyll?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 5

Throughout the screenplay, Sir Charles's dedication to his values remains strong. Although he faces tension with Beatrix about her choices, he does not fundamentally change but rather reinforces his protective nature. The challenge raises the stakes for his character, showing how he represents both stability and staunch traditionalism within a changing world.

Polarity Changes: Stays firm in his beliefs until forced into a confrontation with Beatrix’s desires.

Transformation Triggers: Beatrix's insistence on marrying Jekyll sparks a conflict with his values.

Suggestions

Integrate a scene of reflection where Sir Charles questions his values against the changing norms of society.
Build a climax where Sir Charles struggles with reconciling his love for Beatrix with societal pressures.

Follow-up Questions

What would it take for Sir Charles to reconsider his stance on Beatrix's choices?
How does he envision the future for Beatrix in his ideal world?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Sir Charles's dialogue reflects his aristocratic upbringing, often filled with eloquent phrasing and societal norms. His speech pattern indicates his desire to maintain decorum and reflects his protective instincts. The contrast between his formal dialogue and moments of emotional dialogue with Beatrix adds depth to his character.

Unique Voice: Polite yet authoritative language; blends concern with traditional values.

Suggestions

Introduce moments where Sir Charles speaks more informally to showcase a different side of him.
Allow for moments of vulnerability in his language, especially during exchanges with Beatrix.

Follow-up Questions

What specific phrases or topics cause Sir Charles to drop his formal tone?
How do his conversations with Beatrix shift in emotion?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 7

Sir Charles's actions throughout the screenplay, such as his initial refusal to let Beatrix marry Jekyll, stem from his need to uphold social tradition. This creates friction and ultimately poses a challenge that he grapples with, revealing his internal conflict as he balances his protective instincts against his daughter's autonomy.

Motivations: Protecting Beatrix’s future and maintaining family honor

Desires Vs Needs: Desires the best for Beatrix while needing to understand her wants and needs.

Suggestions

Create more psychological tension by having Sir Charles grapple with guilt over Beatrix's unhappiness.
Introduce a scene where he definitively chooses to support Beatrix’s happiness over societal expectations.

Follow-up Questions

In what aspects does Sir Charles show flexibility in his protective nature?
How do other characters perceive Sir Charles's behavior throughout the story?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Sir Charles's relationship with Beatrix is central to his character development. His protective nature often clashes with her desires, creating tension. The dynamics with Jekyll highlight his role as an authoritative figure, showcasing the theme of paternal control versus autonomy.

Suggestions

Display more of the father's softer moments towards Beatrix, to create a balance.
Consider establishing conflicts with other family members that underscore his authority.

Follow-up Questions

How do the dynamics of the relationship with Beatrix influence his interactions with others?
What is Sir Charles's reaction to Jekyll's perceived influence over Beatrix?

Scene Impact

Score: 6

Sir Charles’s appearances are filled with conflict, particularly during scenes where Beatrix insists on her choices. His authoritative demeanor often brings a tension that influences other characters' actions and decisions, serving to amplify the drama surrounding Beatrix's rebellion against her father's wishes.

Suggestions

Develop scenes where his absence is felt, enhancing the emotional stake of Beatrix’s decisions.
Show his physical presence impacting the decisions of other characters, reinforcing his role as the patriarch.

Follow-up Questions

In what scenes does Sir Charles's absence create misunderstandings?
How do other characters react in his presence?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 7

Sir Charles fulfills the archetypal role of a protective father figure. His actions and demeanor represent the struggle between adhering to societal norms and addressing his daughter's needs for independence, creating significant tension and ultimately shaping the narrative arc.

Symbolic Role: Represents the constraints of tradition and familial duty.

Suggestions

Highlight moments where Sir Charles represents societal tradition in direct conflict with progressive ideas.
Explore whether he can find a middle ground between his values and Beatrix's desires.

Follow-up Questions

What aspects of Sir Charles’s character reflect broader social themes in the screenplay?
Does Sir Charles’s character challenge or reinforce societal norms by the end of the story?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Sir Charles’s journey is intertwined with major themes of repression versus freedom. His adherence to tradition often conflicts with Beatrix's desires, symbolizing the generational clash between Victorian values and the burgeoning modern age.

Suggestions

Incorporate scenes that underline the consequences of strict adherence to tradition.
Delve deeper into the ramifications of his decisions on Beatrix’s future in the context of evolving societal standards.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways does Sir Charles embody the central conflict of the screenplay?
How do his actions simultaneously push forward and resist the plot's progression?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 7

Sir Charles's interactions invoke a mix of frustration and sympathy. His protective stance creates a relatable conflict for viewers navigating their familial relationships, mirroring the deeper struggles of a parent’s love against the desire for their child's autonomy.

Emotional Impact: Creates tension and sympathy from the audience, especially regarding Beatrix.

Suggestions

Introduce internal monologues to add depth to Sir Charles's emotional struggles.
Highlight scenes where Sir Charles's determination clashes with sadness to enhance the audience's connection.

Follow-up Questions

What emotional moments stand out that could deepen audience connection to Sir Charles?
How can his emotional struggles be depicted more vividly?

Personality Types

MBTI: estj

Sir Charles exhibits traits of being organized, responsible, and a traditionalist, typical of an ESTJ personality.

Confidence: 85%

Suggestions

Incorporate specific scenes demonstrating his decisive action in family matters.
Explore how his logical, structured approach impacts his relationship with Beatrix.

Follow-up Questions

How does his ESTJ nature affect his interactions with more emotionally driven characters like Beatrix?
What challenges would Sir Charles face if he were to be more flexible in his thinking?

Enneagram: type 1 - the reformer

Sir Charles embodies the qualities of a Type 1 through his strong sense of ethics, responsibility, and desire for integrity in family and society.

Confidence: 80%

Suggestions

Demonstrate moments of internal conflict as he struggles between his principles and his daughter's happiness.
Create dialogues that showcase his high standards and conflicts with evolving values.

Follow-up Questions

How does Sir Charles's sense of duty and perfectionism manifest in his relationships with others?
What is the potential for growth within him to embrace more flexibility?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (5)

Sir Charles confronts the implications of a different era through his relationship with Beatrix, creating genuine emotional weight.

Why: This scene highlights the generational conflict and showcases his internal struggles while maintaining control over his emotions.

Weakest Scene (15A)

Sir Charles's discomfort when he recognizes Jekyll’s growing influence over Beatrix, his presence seems to contradict laying the groundwork for our understanding of his character.

Why: The scene somewhat undermines his authority by showing him unable to protect Beatrix from making choices he disapproves of.

Suggestions:

Enhance his responses and emotions as he faces Jekyll's influence to emphasize his struggle.
Incorporate dialogues that illustrate his concerns and create stronger tension between them.

Jekyll - Score: 88/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: INTJ
Enneagram: Type 5 (The Investigator)

Scenes

Strongest: #47
Weakest: #14

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

A respected doctor torn between good and evil.

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Ambitious yet deeply conflicted individual.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 9/10

A tragic arc leading to devastation.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Sophisticated yet tortured speech.

Behavior And Choices 9/10

Choices driven by internal conflict.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Profound connections fraught with tension.

Scene Impact 9/10

Key decisions shape critical moments.

Role Fulfillment 9/10

Tragic hero doomed by his choices.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Journey reflects themes of duality and morality.

Emotional Resonance 10/10

Deeply evokes sympathy and tension.

Foundational Definition

Score: 9

Dr. Jekyll is a respected doctor in Victorian London, embodying the ideals of propriety and morality of his time. As a scientist, he values experimentation and the pursuit of knowledge, which has led him to explore the duality of human nature—the conflict between good and evil within himself. His foundational qualities include deep kindness and a desire to improve humanity through scientific progress, yet he struggles with his darker impulses, which ultimately drive the plot.

Values And Beliefs: Scientific progress, Moral integrity, The duality of human nature

Strengths And Skills: Intelligence, Compassion, Medical expertise

Suggestions

Elucidate Jekyll's internal conflict more intensely.
Introduce moments of reflection to deepen his moral dilemmas.

Follow-up Questions

How can Jekyll's friendships highlight his internal conflict?
What events could further illustrate his struggle with duality?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 8

Jekyll's emotional wounds stem from his ambition and the societal pressures of Victorian England, which compel him to hide his darker urges. His flaws include a deep-seated need for approval and a desire to manipulate his own nature through experimentation, ultimately leading to disastrous consequences. This internal conflict shapes much of his development throughout the screenplay, showing his evolution from a genteel gentleman to a tortured soul.

Character Wound: Struggles with his darker urges and the pressure to conform.

Character Flaws: Overambition, Desire for control, Fear of societal judgment

Suggestions

Explore Jekyll's past to reveal more about his upbringing and pressures.
Delve deeper into his feelings of inadequacy as Hyde rises.

Follow-up Questions

What experiences could illustrate Jekyll's emotional struggles?
How does Jekyll's fear of judgment influence his actions?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 9

Jekyll starts as a well-meaning doctor attempting to improve humanity by understanding the complexities of human nature. However, his experiments lead to the emergence of Hyde, revealing the darker side of his personality. His inability to control this duality results in tragic consequences, culminating in his ultimate realization of his own monstrosity.

Polarity Changes: Begins as a noble scientist but deteriorates as Hyde takes over.

Transformation Triggers: His experiments that initially promise to separate good from evil and events leading him to cross moral boundaries.

Suggestions

Clarify the pivotal moments where Jekyll chooses ambition over morality.
Show the emotional toll of his duality more vividly.

Follow-up Questions

What specific events trigger Jekyll's transformation into Hyde?
Could moments of regret amplify his tragic arc?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Jekyll's dialogue reflects his education and high social standing, often expressing profound thoughts on morality, science, and human nature. His speech captures his tortured psyche, evolving from confident assertions to desperate pleas as he descends into madness.

Unique Voice: Jekyll's language is articulate and formal, reflective of his education and position, often laden with emotional depth, especially as he expresses his internal conflicts.

Suggestions

Incorporate more stammering or fragmented speech as he descends into madness.
Add more philosophical musings to emphasize his internal conflict.

Follow-up Questions

How can his dialogue evolve to reflect his emotional state?
What key lines can encapsulate his internal struggle?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 9

Jekyll’s behavior fluctuates between a moral scientist and a desperate man seeking to suppress his darker inclinations. His key choice to create the potion indicates his belief he can control both sides of his personality, yet this leads to catastrophic outcomes. His internal conflict drives the narrative tension.

Motivations: Desire to separate his good self from his evil tendencies.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to achieve greatness and understanding through science while needing acceptance and fear of his own dark nature.

Suggestions

Show more moments of hesitation before Jekyll makes pivotal decisions.
Encourage actions that highlight his moral dilemmas and consequences.

Follow-up Questions

What moments can underscore Jekyll's internal struggle before he acts?
How do his choices affect the lives of those around him?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Jekyll’s relationships, particularly with Beatrix, reveal the complexities of his duality. His feelings for her are sincere yet tainted by his fear of what Hyde represents. His friendship with Lanyon oscillates between camaraderie and a critique of Jekyll's moral choices, leading to tragic consequences.

Suggestions

Develop scenes where Jekyll interacts with Beatrix that showcase his dual nature.
Introduce conflict moments with Lanyon that challenge his ideals.

Follow-up Questions

How do Jekyll's romantic feelings affect his choices?
In what ways could his friendships manifest his internal struggles?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

Jekyll's presence in scenes often sets the emotional tone, marked by tension as he struggles with his dual nature. His decisions drive key moments, like creating the potion or confronting Beatrix about their future, showcasing his internal conflict and foreshadowing tragic outcomes.

Suggestions

Enhance the build-up to key scenes where Jekyll's choices have broad consequences.
Create more moments where silence or hesitation emphasizes tension.

Follow-up Questions

What specific scenes could further emphasize his internal conflict?
How can Jekyll create a more significant impact during climactic moments?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 9

Jekyll embodies the role of a tragic hero whose quest for knowledge and self-discovery leads to his downfall. His transformation into Hyde symbolizes the dark side of ambition and human nature, challenging the story's moral complexities and ultimately fulfilling the archetypal role of a man grappling with his inner demons.

Symbolic Role: Represents the duality of human nature—the constant struggle between good and evil.

Suggestions

Clarify how Jekyll's decisions affect his archetypal journey.
Explore how he fluctuates between being a tragic hero and a monster.

Follow-up Questions

How can Jekyll's tragic hero journey enhance the screenplay's themes?
What is the most significant moment that defines his role?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

Jekyll’s journey intertwines intricately with the screenplay's themes of duality, morality, and the human condition. His attempts to separate good from evil reflect the broader question of whether humans can escape their darker instincts, creating conflict that drives the narrative.

Suggestions

Highlight parallels between Jekyll's journey and societal expectations.
Further develop his ethical dilemmas to reinforce thematic connections.

Follow-up Questions

How do Jekyll's actions reinforce or challenge overarching themes?
What thematic resolutions could stem from Jekyll’s story arc?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 10

Jekyll’s character evokes emotional responses from the audience, drawing them into his tragic struggle. His journey from a well-meaning scientist to a tortured soul resonates at a profound level, creating sympathy and heartbreak as he faces the consequences of his duality.

Emotional Impact: Evokes deep sympathy and tension, leading to a powerful catharsis.

Suggestions

Include moments of self-reflection that draw the audience deeper into his emotional state.
Intensify reactions to his duality and its consequences to amplify emotional impact.

Follow-up Questions

What actions can magnify audience sympathy towards Jekyll?
How can the screenplay enhance emotional beats associated with his transformation?

Personality Types

MBTI: intj

As an analytical thinker and a deeply introspective character, Jekyll fits the INTJ personality type. He exhibits strong desire for self-improvement and has a vision for understanding himself.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: infp (65%)

Suggestions

Explore how Jekyll's calculated nature can further his conflict.
Create deeper character interactions based on the INTJ strengths.

Follow-up Questions

How does Jekyll's personality type influence his relationships?
What key traits should be highlighted to enhance his character?

Enneagram: type 5 (the investigator)

Jekyll shows characteristics of an Enneagram Type 5, which seeks knowledge, understanding, and competency. His desire to delve into scientific pursuits illustrates his drive to comprehend the complexities of life.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: type 2 (the helper) (60%)

Suggestions

Reflect on Jekyll's motivations and fears associated with his Type.
Show more of his empathetic side and its conflicts with Type 5 traits.

Follow-up Questions

How do the traits of his Enneagram type manifest in his relationships?
What inner conflicts could be illustrated through his type?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (47)

The emotional confrontation where Jekyll realizes he must give up Beatrix for her own safety.

Why: This moment stands out for its emotional intensity and reveals the depth of Jekyll's character as he grapples with his love and his monsters.

Weakest Scene (14)

The scene where Jekyll is confronted by the constables and doctors after Hyde's rampage.

Why: This scene lacks the tension and emotional depth present in Jekyll's earlier struggles; it comes across as merely reactive and doesn't showcase his internal conflict.

Suggestions:

Enhance Jekyll's emotional turmoil and conflicting thoughts during this confrontation.
Use this moment to reveal more of his regrets and desires to cease being Hyde.

Theme

Theme Details

Theme Explanation

Good vs. Evil (40%)

The battle between good and evil is explored throughout the film, with Dr. Jekyll representing the good side and Mr. Hyde representing the evil side. The film shows how even the best of us can be tempted by evil and the importance of resisting those temptations.

This theme is a classic in literature and film, and it is explored in a unique way in this film. The film shows how even the best of us can be tempted by evil, and the importance of resisting those temptations.

Strengthening Good vs. Evil:

Suggestion Type	How to Strengthen the Theme
Dialogue - Scene 1	Amplify the contrast between the man's laughter and the Bishop's sermon, depicting him as a symbol of evil disrupting the sacred atmosphere.
Action - Scene 5	Have young Dorothy physically interact with both Jekyll and Lanyon, creating a visual representation of the struggle between good and evil within Jekyll.
Character Arc - Scene 8	Emphasize Jekyll's growing obsession with his experiments, foreshadowing the gradual takeover of his evil side as it becomes more prominent in his thoughts and actions.
Story Arc - Scene 13	Introduce a subplot that involves an investigation into the man's behavior in church, revealing connections to previous crimes or sinister deeds, adding depth to the theme of good vs. evil.
Visual - Scene 21	Utilize lighting and camera angles to create a striking visual contrast between Jekyll and Hyde, highlighting their duality and the presence of both good and evil within Jekyll.

The Dangers of Science (30%)

The film also explores the dangers of science, and how it can be used for evil. Jekyll's experiments with the potion that transforms him into Hyde lead to his downfall, and the film shows how science can be used to create monsters, both physical and psychological

This theme is relevant in today's world, as scientists continue to push the boundaries of what is possible. The film serves as a warning about the importance of using science responsibly.

The Power of Love (20%)

The film also explores the power of love, and how it can help to overcome evil. Jekyll's love for Beatrix helps to keep him from completely succumbing to Hyde, and it is ultimately love that saves him in the end.

This theme is a powerful one, and it is one that audiences can relate to. The film shows how love can help to overcome even the darkest of evils.

The Importance of Self-Control (10%)

The film also explores the importance of self-control, and how it is essential for resisting temptation. Jekyll's lack of self-control leads to his downfall, and the film shows how important it is to be able to control one's own desires.

This theme is a valuable one, and it is one that everyone can learn from. The film shows how important it is to be able to control one's own desires, and how a lack of self-control can lead to disaster.

Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site	Description
Studio Binder	Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly	Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August	Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics	Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme	Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script	Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts

Robert McKee: "The audience doesn’t go to the movies to see plot; they go to feel emotion, to be moved."

Scene by Scene Emotions

Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal Goals	The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate his emotions and desires for love, balance his personal and professional life, and come to terms with his dual identity as Jekyll and Hyde.
External Goals	The protagonist's external goal is to maintain a respectable reputation, pursue his scientific research despite skepticism, navigate societal expectations, protect his loved ones, and come to terms with the consequences of his actions.
Philosophical Conflict	The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around the duality of human nature, the boundaries of scientific experimentation, and the consequences of tampering with societal norms and personal desires.

Character Development Contribution: The protagonist's internal and external goals evolve throughout the screenplay, leading to a deeper exploration of his struggles with identity, love, ambition, and morality. The conflicts he faces push him to confront his darker impulses, come to terms with his dual nature, and make difficult choices that shape his character development.

Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflicts in the screenplay drive the storyline forward, creating tension and suspense as the protagonist navigates through moral dilemmas and societal pressures. The evolution of the protagonist's goals adds depth to the narrative, revealing his internal struggles and external challenges as he grapples with the consequences of his actions.

Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflicts in the screenplay contribute to the thematic depth by exploring themes of duality, morality, love, ambition, and the boundaries of science. The protagonist's journey highlights the complexity of human nature, the consequences of unchecked ambition, and the eternal struggle between good and evil within each individual.

Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site	Description
Creative Screenwriting	How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder	What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict	How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great	By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals	By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?

What's going on here? - Scenes are rated on many critreia. The goal isn't to try to maximize every number; \ It's to make you aware of what's happening in your scenes. You might have very good reasons to have character development but not advance the story, or have a scene without conflict. Obviously if your dialogue is really bad, you should probably look into that.

Abbreviate Headers

Story Content

Character Development

Scene Elements

Audience Engagement

Technical Aspects

			Story Content			Character Development				Scene Elements					Audience Engagement				Technical Aspects
Click for Full Analysis	Tone	Overall	Concept	Plot	Originality	Characters	Character Changes	Internal Goal	External Goal	Conflict	Opposition	High stakes	Story forward	Twist	Emotional Impact	Dialogue	Engagement	Pacing	Formatting	Structure
1 - Interruption at the Sermon	Serious, Religious, Scornful	8	8	7	9	8	6	8	7	8	7	6	7	7	7	9	9	8	8	8
2 - Disturbance in the Church	Suspenseful, Mysterious, Tense, Dramatic	8	8	7	9	7	6	8	7.5	9	8	7	8	8	7	6	9	8.5	8	8.5
3 - Church Encounter	Serious, Light-hearted, Romantic	8	8	7	9	9	6	8	7	6	7	5	7	7	7	8	9	8	8	8
4 - Ethical Dispute over Patient Treatment	Agitated, Worried, Pathetic, Timorous	8	9	7	8	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	8	7	8	7	9	8	8	8
5 - The Doctor's Dilemma	Intense, Compassionate, Authoritative	8	8	7	9	9	7	8	7	7	7	6	8	7	8	8	9	8	8	8
6 - Jekyll's Division	Intense, Sarcastic, Serious, Hopeful	8	9	8	9	8	7	8	7	8	8	8	8	7	7	9	9	8	8	8
7 - Dinner Preparations	Anxious, Anticipatory, Troubled, Casual, Sarcastic, Charming, Mollified	8	8	7	9	9	7	8	7	8	7	7	8	8	7	8	9	8	8	8
8 - The Nature of Good and Evil	Serious, Mysterious, Intriguing, Tense	8	9	8	9	7	6	8	7	7	8	7	8	8	7	8	9	8	8	8
9 - The Duality of Man	Intense, Philosophical, Controversial	8	9	7	9	7	6	8	7	7	8	7	8	7	6	9	8	8	8	8
10 - Jekyll's Provocative Theories	Controversial, Intense, Nostalgic, Indignant, Sarcastic	8	9	7	9	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	8	7	7	9	9	8	8	8
11 - An Evening at Sir Charles' Mansion	Wistful, Romantic, Reflective, Concerned	8	7	7	8	9	7	8	7	3	6	4	7	6	9	8	9	8	8	8
12 - Transforming Love	Tender, Serious, Passionate, Reflective, Wistful	8	8	7	8	9	8	9	7	6	6	5	7	7	9	8	9	8	8	8
13 - The Clash of Wills	Serious, Emotional, Contentious	8	8	7	9	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	8	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
14 - An Act of Kindness	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Mysterious	8	7	8	9	9	6	8	7	6	7	5	7	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
15 - The Helpful Doctor	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Mysterious	8	7	8	9	9	7	8	7	7	7	7	8	8	8	8	9	8	8	8
16 - Flirtatious Encounter	Playful, Intimate, Serious	8	7	7	9	9	7	8	7.5	6	7	6	7	7	8	8	9	8.5	8	8
17 - Jekyll's Dangerous Obsession	Intense, Controversial, Emotional, Tense, Mysterious	8	9	8	9	7	7	8	7	9	7	8	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	8
18 - Jekyll's Tireless Labors	Intense, Mysterious, Dark	8	9	8	8	7	8	8	7	9	7	9	8	7	8	7	8	8	9	9
19 - Jekyll's Tormented Night	Tense, Dark, Mysterious, Gloomy	8	9	8	9	7	7	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
20 - Jekyll's Transformation	Intense, Dark, Mysterious, Foreboding	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	7	8	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
21 - Jekyll's Transformation and Poole's Interruption	Dark, Intense, Mysterious, Tense	9	9	9	8	8	9	8	7	9	7	9	9	7	8	8	9	8	8	8
22 - The Confrontation	Tense, Passionate, Anxious, Defiant, Cold	8	8	8	8	9	8	8	7	8	8	8	8	7	9	7	9	8	8	8
23 - The Choice	Tense, Emotional, Resentful, Anxious, Regretful	8	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	8	8	8	9	7	9	7	9	8	8	8
24 - The Transformation	Dark, Intense, Tragic, Suspenseful	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	7	9	6	9	9	7	10	7	9	8	8	8
25 - Hyde's Malice	Dark, Intense, Mysterious, Sinister	9	9	8	9	9	9	8	7	9	7	8	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	8
26 - Hyde Arrives at the Palace of Varieties	Dark, Sinister, Menacing, Suspenseful	9	9	8	8	8	8	8	7	9	7	8	9	7	8	7	9	8	8	8
27 - Unexpected Conversation	Tense, Romantic, Suspenseful	8	9	8	9	7	8	8	7	9	7	8	9	7	8	7	9	8	8	8
28 - Barroom Brawl	Dark, Intense, Suspenseful	8	9	8	8	7	8	8	7	9	8	9	8	9	7	7	9	8	8	8
29 - Temptation and Manipulation	Dark, Intense, Suspenseful, Romantic	8	9	8	8	8	8	8	7	8	8	7	8	7	9	7	9	8	8	8
30 - The Menacing Threat	Dark, Intense, Emotional	8	9	8	9	8	8	8	7	8	8	8	9	8	9	7	9	8	8	8
31 - Confrontation in Ivy's Apartment	Tense, Dark, Suspenseful, Menacing	9	8	9	9	9	7	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
32 - Manipulative Mind Games	Tense, Sinister, Manipulative, Intense	8	8	7	8	9	7	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	8	8	9	8	8	8
33 - Hyde's Mind Games	Dark, Sinister, Manipulative, Menacing	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	8
34 - The Transformation	Dark, Intense, Menacing, Emotional	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
35 - Post-Transformation Tranquility and Envelope Delivery	Tense, Emotional, Dark, Intense	8	8	7	9	9	8	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	9	8	9	8	8	8
36 - A Proposal and a Threat	Anxious, Passionate, Tense, Emotional, Hopeful	8	7	8	8	9	8	8	7	8	7	8	9	7	9	8	9	8	8	8
37 - The Revelation of Ivy	Tense, Disturbing, Anxious, Horror, Hopeful	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	9	8	9	8	8	8
38 - Ivy's Plea for Help	Anxiety, Fear, Hope, Desperation	8	8	7	9	9	8	8	7	8	8	8	7	8	9	7	9	8	8	8
39 - The Transformation	Menacing, Intense, Emotional	8	8	8	8	9	8	8	7	9	7	9	8	8	9	7	9	8	8	8
40 - Hyde's Deadly Confession	Intense, Menacing, Terrifying, Sinister	9	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
41 - Hyde's Rampage	Dark, Intense, Suspenseful, Menacing	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	9	8	9	9	8	8
42 - Hyde's Desperation	Tense, Suspenseful, Anxious	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	9	8	9	8	8	8
43 - Tension and Confrontations	Suspenseful, Intense, Dark	8	8	9	9	8	7	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	8	7	9	8	8	8
44 - Hyde's Desperate Demand	Suspenseful, Intense, Menacing, Confrontational	8	8	9	9	8	7	8	7.5	9	8	8	9	9	8	7	9	8.5	8	8
45 - Jekyll Confesses to Lanyon	Anguish, Horror, Desperation, Pleading	9	9	8	8	9	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	10	8	9	9	9	9
46 - Jekyll's Despair	Tense, Agonized, Worried, Anguished, Desperate	9	8	9	9	9	9	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	9	8	9	8	8	8
47 - Heartbreaking Confrontation in the Garden	Heartbreaking, Intense, Emotional	9	8	9	9	9	9	9	7	8	8	9	8	7	10	8	9	8	8	8
48 - The Hyde Transformation	Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Violent	9	9	8	8	8	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	9	7	9	8	8	8
49 - Hyde's Escape	Tense, Frantic, Horror	9	8	9	8	8	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	9	7	9	9	8	8
50 - The Transformation and Death of Hyde	Tense, Horror, Tragic, Intense	9	9	9	9	8	9	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	10	7	9	8	8	8

Summary of Scene Level Analysis

Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.

Scene Strengths

Effective tension-building
Compelling character development
Emotional depth
Intense atmosphere
Engaging dialogue

Scene Weaknesses

Limited character development
Lack of emotional depth
Potential for triggering content
Some dialogue may feel cliched or predictable
Limited exploration of certain characters or perspectives

Suggestions

Focus on developing characters more fully, exploring their motivation and backstory to increase emotional depth and clarity
Consider potentially sensitive themes and how they may impact audience members, finding ways to address them respectfully and thoughtfully
Look for opportunities to move beyond cliched or predictable dialogue, seeking to create conversation that feels natural and authentic to the characters and their situations
Make a conscious effort to explore a wider range of perspectives and experiences, particularly those that may be underrepresented or overlooked in mainstream media
Experiment with different approaches to pacing and tone, considering the impact they have on the audience's engagement and understanding of the story

World Building

Physical environment: Victorian-era London is depicted as a place of societal norms and class distinctions, with a focus on the Anglican church and its influence on the community. The environment is often dark and ominous, reflecting the inner turmoil and moral struggles of the characters.
Culture: Religious principles, moral values, and the celebration of Queen Victoria's Golden Jubilee play a significant role in shaping the culture. Social hierarchy is evident in the seating arrangements in the church, with the less well-to-do parishioners seated separately from the well-dressed families.
Society: Class divide is evident in the seating arrangements in the church, with the less well-to-do parishioners seated separately from the well-dressed families. The medical practices and ethics of the time are showcased in the hospital setting, highlighting the scientific advancements and ethical dilemmas of the era.
Technology: Technological aspects are limited, as the screenplay is set in the 19th century. However, the use of medical equipment and vials in the hospital setting showcases the scientific advancements of the time.
Characters influence: The societal norms and class distinctions shape the characters' interactions and actions. The characters' struggles with mental health issues and ethical dilemmas are influenced by the medical practices and ethics of the time. The physical environment, with its dark and ominous atmosphere, reflects the inner turmoil and moral struggles of the characters.
Narrative contribution: The physical environment, with its dark and ominous atmosphere, contributes to the sense of tension and suspense. The societal norms and class distinctions create conflict and drive the plot forward. The medical practices and ethics of the time provide a backdrop for the characters' ethical dilemmas and struggles with mental health issues.
Thematic depth contribution: The physical environment, societal norms, and medical practices contribute to the exploration of themes such as good and evil, the duality of human nature, and the struggle between science and morality.

Voice Analysis
Summary:	The writer's voice is characterized by a blend of eloquence, psychological depth, and social commentary.
Voice Contribution	The writer's voice contributes to the script by enhancing the atmosphere, emotional depth, and thematic richness of the screenplay.
Best Representation Scene	36 - A Proposal and a Threat
Best Scene Explanation	This scene is the best representation of the writer's voice due to its effective combination of character-driven dialogue and descriptive narrative to create a compelling and immersive setting.

Style and Similarities

The screenplay exhibits a diverse range of writing styles, drawing inspiration from renowned authors and screenwriters. It effectively blends elements of literary fiction, psychological thrillers, and character-driven dramas to create a captivating and multi-layered narrative.

Style Similarities:

Writer	Explanation
Robert Louis Stevenson	Stevenson's influence is evident in the screenplay's exploration of duality, morality, and the inner conflicts of characters. Several scenes showcase his ability to create complex and psychologically nuanced individuals struggling with the consequences of their choices.
David Mamet	Mamet's sharp dialogue and focus on power dynamics are prevalent throughout the screenplay. His influence is particularly notable in scenes that feature intense verbal confrontations and psychological manipulation.
Mary Shelley	Shelley's gothic elements, themes of science and morality, and exploration of the human condition are woven into the fabric of the screenplay. Her influence is particularly evident in scenes that delve into the darker aspects of human nature.
Edgar Allan Poe	Poe's dark and atmospheric writing style, use of suspense, and exploration of psychological horror leave a mark on the screenplay. Scenes that create a sense of unease and delve into the macabre reflect his influence.

Other Similarities: Other notable influences include Jane Austen, Arthur Miller, Oscar Wilde, and Alfred Hitchcock, whose respective styles contribute to the screenplay's rich tapestry of literary and cinematic references.

Top Correlations and patterns found in the scenes:

Pattern	Explanation
Emotional Scenes Tend to Score Higher	Scenes with strong emotional content (e.g., intense, compassionate, emotional) generally receive higher overall grades (8 or 9) compared to scenes with less emotional weight.
Scenes with High Emotional Impact Often Feature Character Changes	Scenes that evoke a strong emotional response from the audience (Emotional Impact score of 8 or higher) frequently coincide with significant character changes or developments.
Suspenseful Scenes are Often Intense and Tense	Scenes classified as suspenseful often exhibit high levels of intensity and tension, as indicated by their respective scores in those categories.
Dark Scenes Tend to be Intense and Mysterious	Scenes characterized as dark frequently align with high scores in intensity and mystery, creating an atmosphere of intrigue and foreboding.
High-Stakes Scenes Often Advance the Story	Scenes with significant stakes or consequences for the characters tend to play a crucial role in moving the story forward, suggesting that the author effectively uses tension to drive the narrative.

Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

The screenplay demonstrates a strong command of character development, dialogue, and thematic depth, creating engaging and thought-provoking narratives. The writer excels in building tension, emotional depth, and conflict, showcasing a talent for immersive storytelling.

Key Improvement Areas

Dialogue

The writer's dialogue is already engaging, but there is room for improvement in creating more nuanced and authentic character interactions.

Character Dynamics

While the characters are well-developed, further exploration of conflicting internal and external goals can add depth to their relationships and motivations.

Thematic Depth

The thematic exploration is strong, but delving deeper into philosophical conflicts and moral dilemmas can enhance the narrative's complexity.

Suggestions

Type	Suggestion	Rationale
Screenplay	Read 'Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting' by Syd Field	This book provides valuable insights into screenplay structure, character development, and dialogue, which can enhance the writer's craft in key areas like dialogue and character dynamics.
Exercise	Practice writing scenes with conflicting internal and external goals to deepen character motivations and conflicts.Practice In SceneProv	This exercise will help the writer refine their ability to create engaging character interactions and thematic depth.
Video	Watch films with strong philosophical debates to observe how tension and conflict are portrayed on screen.	Visual study of philosophical debates can enhance the writer's understanding of translating intellectual discussions to the screen, improving thematic depth.

Additional Notes: Overall, the writer shows great potential in crafting compelling narratives with rich character dynamics and thematic depth. By focusing on enhancing dialogue authenticity, character relationships, and thematic exploration, the screenplay can reach even greater heights of emotional and intellectual resonance.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope	Trope Details	Trope Explanation
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde	Split personalities, good and evil.	The idea of a person having two distinct personalities, one good and one evil, is a common trope in literature and film.
The Mad Scientist	Jekyll is a brilliant scientist who becomes obsessed with his work and ignores the consequences.	The trope of the mad scientist is a common one, and it often involves a scientist who is so obsessed with their work that they ignore the consequences of their actions.
The Damsel in Distress	Beatrix is a beautiful and innocent woman who is pursued by the evil Hyde.	The damsel in distress is a common trope in literature and film, and it often involves a beautiful and innocent woman who is pursued by a villain.
The Byronic Hero	Hyde is a charismatic and dangerous figure who is both attractive and repulsive.	The Byronic hero is a common trope in literature and film, and it often involves a charismatic and dangerous figure who is both attractive and repulsive.
The Double	Jekyll and Hyde are two sides of the same person.	The double is a common trope in literature and film, and it often involves two characters who are either identical or very similar and who represent different aspects of the same person.
The Gothic	The film's setting is dark and atmospheric, and it is filled with themes of horror and suspense.	The Gothic is a common trope in literature and film, and it often involves a setting that is dark and atmospheric and filled with themes of horror and suspense.
The Victorian Era	The film is set in the Victorian era, and it reflects the social and cultural norms of the time.	The Victorian era is a common setting for literature and film, and it often reflects the social and cultural norms of the time.
The Religious Subtext	The film explores themes of good and evil, and it draws on religious imagery and symbolism.	The religious subtext is a common trope in literature and film, and it often explores themes of good and evil and draws on religious imagery and symbolism.
The Social Commentary	The film explores issues of class, gender, and morality.	The social commentary is a common trope in literature and film, and it often explores issues of class, gender, and morality.
The Tragic Hero	Jekyll is a tragic hero who is ultimately destroyed by his own hubris.	The tragic hero is a common trope in literature and film, and it often involves a character who is destroyed by their own hubris.

Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number	Line
9	Dr. Jekyll: Good and evil are so close as to be chained together in the soul. Man isn't truly one, but two.
12	Dr. Jekyll: You and I are in love. Such a small word for such a great thing!
41	Hyde: You'll have what you have longed for.
42	Hyde: You will have what you have longed for.
45	Dr. Jekyll: I'm a murderer, John. A murderer!

Some Loglines to consider:

A London doctor's experiments with good and evil spirals out of control, unleashing his evil alter ego Mr. Hyde.
Dr. Jekyll's obsession with power and knowledge leads him down a dangerous path towards his own destruction and the havoc of Mr. Hyde.
A tale of the duality of human nature as a London doctor's experiments go horribly awry, resulting in violent consequences.
Dr. Lanyon tries to intervene as Dr. Jekyll transforms into the dangerous Mr. Hyde, but it may be too late to stop the chaos.
Dr. Jekyll's descent into madness and Mr. Hyde's reign of violence ultimately lead to tragedy and the consequences of playing with the forces of nature.

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"DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE"

Written by

John Lee Mahin

Based on the novel
"Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde"
by Robert Louis Stevenson

Copyright © 1941 Shooting Script, 1941
Loew's Inc., US;
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM),
Culver City, CA
FADE IN:

1 CLOSE SHOT - MAN'S FACE 1

It is a large, sincere and kindly face, of about fifty-five
years of age, perfectly in keeping with the slow, resonant
tones in which its owner speaks.

MAN
(as we fade in)
... with purity in our hearts, with
right thinking in our minds, we arm
ourselves with an intolerance of all
evil! Thus, it is on this glorious
Sabbath morning, in this momentous
year, 1887, that we naturally turn
our thoughts to that way of life as
exemplified by Victoria, Our Beloved
Queen. For this week begins Her
Majesty's Golden Jubilee. Her strength
and goodness, her Christian
principles, have walked in the light
of God ever since her ascension to
the throne. From her heart has come
an ever-increasing flow of virtue
and moral blessing with which she
has endowed us, her loving subjects.

As the man speaks we BOOM BACK AND AROUND SLOWLY to discover
ourselves in All Souls Southwick Church, London. The man
speaking is the Bishop, talking from the pulpit, backed up
by the well-appointed magnificence of the Anglican altar. WE
PAN AROUND the congregation in the pews. For the most, they
are the well-dressed and well-bred families of the period,
listening attentively.

1A CLOSE SHOT - IN BACK - MAN AND WOMAN 1A

This is where the less well-to-do parishioners are seated. A
rugged, but strange-looking man of middle-age is seated here
with his wife. She is watching him anxiously. He is listening
intently to the sermon, his head cocked forward. Then he
looks away, passes his hand over his brow, and seems as though
to rise - as he looks at the Bishop o.s.

WIFE
(detaining him, with
a nervous agonized
whisper)
Sam - no! What's wrong, Sam -?

He looks at her, subsides, clenching his jaw.
2.

2 CLOSE SHOT - BISHOP 2

AS HE CONTINUES:

BISHOP
(continuing)
She came upon a world sadly mired in
ways of the flesh, and during her
reign the forces of good have achieved
notable and great victories over the
forces of evil. And though we know
not the time nor the season, we know
that Evil in God's own time shall be
wiped out by God.

At this point the Bishop is startled by the interruption of
a high-pitched, scornful evil laugh coming from the back of
the church. He looks up.

3 CLOSE SHOT - IN BACK - MAN AND WOMAN 3

The man is laughing evilly at the Bishop. His horrified little
wife is trying to quiet him, and then looking about her at
the other startled people.

WOMAN
(agonized)
Sam -- Sam --

MAN
(sneering out)
Evil wiped out, eh? So you want to
take all the fun out of life, eh,
Bishop?

3A CLOSE SHOT - BISHOP 3A

With hardly a flicker he continues:

BISHOP
And may we not live for the day,
when, in the words of Holy writ, the
Devil shall be cast into the
bottomless pit?

4 GROUP SHOT - CONGREGATION 4

The laughter from o.s. continues a little. One or two half
turn about. Several look at each other, then back to the
Bishop with stiff-backed composure.

BISHOP'S VOICE
For surely the roots of the realm
and its peoples have sprung from a
new goodness during these last decades --
3.

5 CLOSE SHOT - TOWARD ALTAR - GROUP 5

They are the backs of an elderly gentleman, a young girl and
fine-looking man of about thirty with a Byronic head. As the
laughter continues through the Bishop's persistent intonation,
the man turns full face into CAMERA AND looks back toward
the disturbance. He is Dr. Henry Jekyll, his vital features
alive with interest.

BISHOP'S VOICE
(continuing)
At the family hearth, in the shops
of industry, in the very Christian
graciousness with which men and women
greet each other during the everyday --

6 OUT. 6

7 CLOSE SHOT - MAN IN BACK 7

MAN
Bottomless Pit, my eye! Good old
Beelzebub - the boy with the horns
and the spiked tail - they're always
running him down and he's the winner
in the end every time.

A man in back of him tries to pull him down, quietly. He
shakes him off laughing. In the b.g. the aislemen are hurrying
down to him.

8 GROUP SHOT - CONGREGATION 8

Still they do not look about much, paying even more attention
to the Bishop.

BISHOP'S VOICE
... everyday hours. Certainly this
universal goodness is evidenced all
about us more and more as we --

Genres: Drama, Period Piece
Tone: Serious, Religious, Scornful

Summary During a Bishop's sermon at All Souls Southwick Church, a man named Sam disrupts the service with laughter and scornful remarks, challenging the Bishop's authority. Despite Sam's wife's attempts to quiet him, the Bishop remains unfazed and continues his sermon. The congregation pays little attention to the disturbance, except for Dr. Jekyll, who turns around to observe it with interest. The scene ends with the aislemen approaching Sam to quell his outburst.

Strengths

Effective use of contrasting tones
Engaging dialogue
Intriguing conflict

Weaknesses

Slightly predictable setup

General Critique

The scene opens with a sermon by the Bishop, setting the tone for the rest of the script. However, the interruption by Sam feels a bit forced and cliched, detracting from the seriousness of the sermon.
The dialogue between Sam and his wife lacks depth and comes across as melodramatic. It would be more effective to show their tension and conflict through subtle gestures and expressions.
The Bishop's reaction to the interruption is too calm and composed, considering the disruption caused by Sam. Adding more emotion and intensity to the Bishop's response would make the scene more engaging.
The congregation's reaction to the disturbance is unrealistic. More varied reactions from the attendees would add depth and realism to the scene.
Dr. Jekyll's introduction at the end of the scene feels abrupt and disconnected from the rest of the events. It would be beneficial to introduce him earlier in a more seamless manner.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider reworking the interruption by Sam to make it more organic and impactful to the overall narrative.
Focus on developing the characters of Sam and his wife to make their conflict more nuanced and engaging.
Enhance the Bishop's reaction to the disruption to create a more dynamic and compelling scene.
Diversify the reactions of the congregation to make the scene more realistic and immersive.
Integrate Dr. Jekyll's introduction more smoothly into the scene to establish a stronger connection with the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

9 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 9

As he looks back, studying man. The young girl with him starts
to look back but the old gentleman on her other side nudges
her not to do so.

10 CLOSE SHOT - BISHOP 10

With barely a flutter of an eyelid he continues, cutting it
short.

(CONTINUED)
4.

10 CONTINUED: 10

BISHOP
-- as we live under the gentle hand
of Her Majesty, and worship the glory
and wonder that is God. It is because
of these things that - that -
(he gives a signal to
the choir-master)
- the world moves forward today.

11 CLOSE SHOT - CHOIR MASTER 11

He signals over to the organist in the b.g. He motions to
the awed kids in the choir to stop looking toward the back
of the church. The music starts the introduction to the choral
anthem.

12 GROUP SHOT - IN BACK - AROUND MAN 12

The aislemen are struggling with him.

MAN
(with a last shout)
You don't think evil is on a holiday
in here, do you? Ask this bunch here
when they met up with Old Nick last!
Good Old Beelzebub! -- Blasphemy, I
call it, to talk that way about a
man's best friend!

But he is drowned out both by the sudden high soprano boys'
choir and the booming of the organ, as well as the fact that
the three aisle - men drag him out of the pew into the vestry.
The poor wife follows. But the other people hardly notice
him, in their disciplined conservatism. One aisleman dashes
on ahead.

13 GROUP SHOT - VESTRY 13

A knot of aislemen are around the raving, twisting man. He
is laughing and muttering evilly. The little wife is hovering
about, wringing her hands, as they lead the man from the
main part of the church.

AD LIB
(in hushed tones)
Here, here, now man - Never heard of
such a thing... ssh! Did Parker go
for a constable? Yes. Take his other
arm... This is frightful...

WOMAN
(agonized)
Sam dear - no, lad - no...

(CONTINUED)
5.

13 CONTINUED: 13

Just at this moment Jekyll comes hurrying out into the vestry.

JEKYLL
(with calm authority)
One moment, please.

The aislemen step back.

MAN
(to Jekyll, who studies
him)
Let me back in there and I'll tell
'em what a grown man really thinks
about -

Jekyll feels the man's pulse, lifts his eye-lid. The man
backs away a little.

JEKYLL
(to woman)
How long has this been going on?

WOMAN
It's - it's been coming on him worse,
sir - ever since the explosion.

JEKYLL
(very interested now)
Oh, a shock, eh?... Excellent - I
see --

MAN
(slyly - to Jekyll)
You're a hearty, full-blooded young
man - you tell 'em...

WOMAN
I thought maybe if we came to church
it would --

MAN
(trying to nudge Jekyll)
We know - don't we?

WOMAN
(as man laughs again)
No, Sam - there now -

The man edges her away from him. In the meantime, Jekyll has
taken a card out and is writing on it. At this moment, another
aisleman comes in with a very officious constable.

(CONTINUED)
6.

13 CONTINUED: (2) 13

CONSTABLE
Hey - make way here! What's all
this about? What's all this here -
(taking man who he
sees is struggling)
Drunk and disorderly, eh? Well --

JEKYLL
(handing constable
the card)
No, Constable. Take him to the Camden
Hospital. Give this card to Dr. Heath.

CONSTABLE
Better get him to the station, sir.
It's always -
(then seen name on
card, and looks up
at Jekyll with sudden
respect)
Oh, Dr. Jekyll! Bats, is he? Right,
sir. Camden Hospital it is, Dr.
Jekyll!
(takes man's arm,
cheerily)
All right there now, my beauty -
upsy-daisy! We'll go and get a little
fresh air in the belfry, eh?

WE PAN HIM out with the man, the woman following.

MAN
(as he is being led
out, calling back
over his shoulder)
Jekyll, eh? Go on back and try to
put old Beelzebub on his pit bottom,
Jekyll! He'll show you! He'll poke
his red beard over the rim! He jumps
on hot fiery rubber, he does!

14 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 14

Genres: Drama, Mystery, Thriller
Tone: Suspenseful, Mysterious, Tense, Dramatic

Summary During a church service, a man acts erratically and is removed by aislemen. Dr. Jekyll examines the man, determines he has suffered a shock, and instructs a constable to take him to Camden Hospital. The man continues to rant about evil and the devil before being taken away.

Strengths

Establishes tension and intrigue
Sets up central conflict
Evokes a range of emotions

Weaknesses

Dialogue could be more impactful
Character development potential not fully realized

General Critique

The scene effectively sets up the tension and disruption caused by Sam's erratic behavior during the church service.
The interaction between Jekyll, Sam, and the constable adds depth to the scene and hints at Jekyll's interest in understanding the man's condition.
The dialogue and actions of the characters help to establish the atmosphere of the church and the reactions of the congregation to the disturbance.
There is a good balance between the serious tone of the Bishop's sermon and the disruptive behavior of Sam, creating a contrast that keeps the audience engaged.
The scene effectively transitions from the disruption caused by Sam to Jekyll's intervention and decision to have him taken to the hospital, showcasing Jekyll's sense of responsibility and authority.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual cues to enhance the setting of the church and the reactions of the congregation to the disturbance.
Explore the emotional impact of the scene on Jekyll further, highlighting his curiosity and concern for the man's well-being.
Add more depth to Sam's character to provide a clearer understanding of his motivations and the impact of the traumatic event on his behavior.
Consider incorporating more subtext in the dialogue to reveal underlying tensions and dynamics between the characters.
Ensure a smooth transition between the different elements of the scene to maintain the flow and engagement of the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

As he looks after the man, considering him, turns and goes
back into church.

MAN'S VOICE
(o.s., with awful
laugh)
Dr. Jekyll, eh?... ha, ha, ha - Go
back and be good, Dr. Jekyll...

(CONTINUED)
7.

14 CONTINUED: 14

The voice diminishes, as Jekyll turns and walks back into
church.

15 PAN SHOT JEKYLL 15

WE HOLD as he comes down the aisle to his pew. Just as he
reaches the pew the congregation rises and starts singing
the hymn to which the choir has been singing the introduction.
WE PAN HIM into his pew where he immediately starts singing
with his two companions. The girl is young, lovely, ripely
virginal, Beatrix Emery. She gives Jekyll a little questioning
look as he comes into pew. The elderly man is her father,
Sir Charles Emery - hawk nose over white mustache - correct
and cultured in his imperious strength. As they sing, we

DISSOLVE TO:

15A FULL SHOT - EXT. - CHURCH STEPS 15A

Service is over and the crowd is coming out. Inside the church
we hear the organ. Sir Charles, Beatrix and Jekyll are coming
out. WE PAN THEM DOWN THE STEPS across to the carriages at
the curb.

SIR CHARLES
(bowing to a lady and
gentlemen)
Harrison... good morning!
(turns to Beatrix and
Jekyll)
Well, we've just time for a turn in
the park -

BEATRIX
Harry has to leave us, Father.

JEKYLL
I must get to the hospital, sir.

SIR CHARLES
Hospital? On a Sunday? Oh, you mean
that outrageous individual that -?

BEATRIX
Harry says Providence dropped the
poor man right into his lap.

SIR CHARLES
But this is most unusual, my boy.
You know, we always take our stroll
before --

JEKYLL
I'm sorry, but it is, sir. Most
unusual.

(CONTINUED)
8.

15A CONTINUED: 15A

By this time they have reached Sir Charles [...] smart open
carriage. A footman stands holding the door open for them. A
groom, in similar livery, is on the box.

BEATRIX
(turning to him)
See you at the Marley's tonight,
now. Don't be late.

JEKYLL
And let you have free rein with all
those men?

He kisses her on the lips, much to Sir Charles' consternation.
She laughs and gets into carriage. Sir Charles, nervous about
the kiss, looking about to see who has noticed it, follows
Beatrix into carriage.

15B CLOSE TWO SHOT - BEATRIX AND JEKYLL 15B

She sits with her hand resting on the side of the carriage.
O.s. the footman closes the door.

JEKYLL
(intimately)
That's a very silly little hat, by
the way.

BEATRIX
I knew you'd like it.

JEKYLL
(picking up her hand -
kissing it)
There's really nothing about you
that I like at all.

As he holds her hand, he makes a surreptious little bite at
it.

15C CLOSE SHOT - SIR CHARLES 15C

He has been watching; he starts nervously as he sees Jekyll
do this.

SIR CHARLES
(to groom, o.s.)
All right, Jenkins.

15D GROUP SHOT - AROUND CARRIAGE 15D

The carriage drives o.s. Jekyll starts backing away, in the
opposite direction, waving to Beatrix. He backs into a fat
old dowager.

(CONTINUED)
9.

15D CONTINUED: 15D

JEKYLL
(to glaring dowager)
I beg your pardon!

15E CLOSE SHOT - BEATRIX AND SIR CHARLES - INT. CARRIAGE - 15E
PROCESS

Beatrix is waving and laughs louder as she sees Jekyll's
dilemna o.s. As she laughs louder, Sir Charles pulls her
around.

SIR CHARLES
My dear - please -

BEATRIX
But you didn't see him. He backed
right into Lady --

SIR CHARLES
My dear Beatrix - I'm a very broad-
minded man, as you know - but despite
the fact that you and Harry are
engaged to be married, I wish he
wouldn't carry on his demonstrations
of affection in public.

BEATRIX
Now, Father darling - don't be
pompous.

SIR CHARLES
(bowing to a passerby
o.s.)
But good heavens - nibbling your
knuckles...

Beatrix bursts out in a peal of healthy laughter, throwing
back her head.

Genres: Drama, Romance, Period
Tone: Serious, Light-hearted, Romantic

Summary Jekyll returns to the church, where he joins Beatrix and Sir Charles in their pew. After the service, they make plans for the day, and Jekyll kisses Beatrix, causing tension with Sir Charles. The scene concludes with a humorous mishap as Jekyll waves goodbye to Beatrix and nearly bumps into a dowager.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Well-defined characters
Blend of drama and romance

Weaknesses

Subtle conflict
Limited character development

General Critique

The transition from the previous scene to this one is a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain continuity.
The dialogue between Jekyll and Beatrix lacks depth and emotional connection, making their interaction feel superficial.
The physical actions and movements of the characters could be more descriptive and engaging to enhance the visual storytelling.
The scene lacks tension and conflict, which could be introduced to make it more engaging for the audience.
The tone of the scene shifts between light-hearted moments and serious conversations, creating a disjointed feel.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more subtext and emotional depth to the dialogue between Jekyll and Beatrix to make their relationship more compelling.
Introduce subtle conflicts or obstacles in the scene to create tension and keep the audience engaged.
Enhance the visual elements by describing the surroundings and character movements in more detail to create a vivid picture for the audience.
Work on the pacing of the scene to ensure a smooth transition from the previous scene and maintain a consistent tone throughout.
Focus on character development and motivations to make the interactions more meaningful and impactful.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

SIR CHARLES
(quickly)
Beatrix -!

16-25 OUT.

15F CLOSE SHOT - BEATRIX - PROCESS 15F

She controls herself, and subsides to a giggle, shaking her
head at her Father's attitude, as we

DISSOLVE TO:
10.

16 CLOSE SHOT - INT. HOSPITAL - MRS. HIGGINS' FACE 16

Mrs. Higgins is the woman with the man who caused the
disturbance in the church. She is sobbing silently in contrast
to Beatrix and WE PULL BACK to see her standing outside a
door in the corridor of the hospital. AS WE HOLD the door
opens and a young interne steps out with a rather
surreptitious look back into the room. All we can see in the
room is the end of a bed with a man's feet strapped to it.

MAN'S VOICE
(Higgins, as door
opens)
Now, Doctor, my lad - as man to man -
we know what's fun in life and what
isn't! Eh, Doctor?

The man laughs wildly. The interne closes the door quietly
and WE PAN HIM as he hurries down the hall to the end, and
enters a door.

17 CLOSE SHOT - DOOR AT END 17

On it is marked: "House Physician - Dr. Heath."

INTERNE'S VOICE
I'm sorry, sir. But Dr. Jekyll insists
going ahead with treatment.

HEATH'S VOICE
But that mustn't be! The man's under
observation!

INTERNE'S VOICE
Yes, sir. That's what I told him,
but -- You better come, sir.

The young interne comes out with Dr. Heath, a matured
physician of about fifty. Dr. Heath wears a worried frown on
his face. WE TRUCK WITH THEM a little way back toward the
room.

DR. HEATH
(agitated - as they
come out)
He has no right to do such a thing!

INTERNE
I suggested it would be better that
he consult you first, sir - but he
still --

DR. HEATH
I know. Thank you, Fenwick.

(CONTINUED)
11.

17 CONTINUED: 17

WE PAN them on down the hall to the door where Mrs. Higgins
is waiting.

18 CLOSE SHOT - AT PATIENT'S DOOR 18

Dr. Heath enters the room. Mrs. Higgins sobbing, puts her
hand on the interne's arm as he is about to follow. Inside,
the man Higgins is laughing evilly.

MRS. HIGGINS
Isn't there anything they can -?

INTERNE
Everything possible is being done,
Mrs. Higgins. Dr. Jekyll knows more
about your husband's case than any
other mental specialist in London.

HIGGINS' VOICE
(from inside)
Why! Here's another doctor! But don't
ask him! He's too old!

The interne closes the door. The man's high laugh comes from
inside. Almost immediately the door is opened by Dr. Heath
who comes out with Jekyll.

DR. HEATH
It's a matter of ethics, Jekyll. I
can't allow it.

MRS. HIGGINS
Dr. Jekyll, can't I go in and --

JEKYLL
(gently, patting her
shoulder)
Not yet, Mrs. Higgins. Bear up now.
That's the way you said you'd help -
remember.

Continues to Heath as WE PAN THEM DOWN the corridor, Jekyll
obviously trying to control himself

JEKYLL
But, good heavens, man - this is the
chance of a lifetime for me. The
more I see of the case the more I
realize it.

The stop a little way down the hall, opposite an open
unoccupied room.
12.

19 TWO SHOT - HEATH AND JEKYLL 19

HEATH
It's quite possible that this case
might fall within the bounds of your
research. You know how we've all
admired your other work in the past.
And personally, I'd like to bow to
your opinion here, but in my position
as head of the staff, I cannot
countenance --

He stops and realizes they are being watched o.s. as he looks
down the hall.

20 CLOSE SHOT - MRS. HIGGINS - THEIR ANGLE 20

She stands looking at them pathetically, wringing her hand.

21 TWO SHOT - JEKYLL AND HEATH 21

HEATH
(indicating open door)
Better come in here.

They go into vacant room and close door.

22 SLOW TRUCKING SHOT - MRS. HIGGINS 22

She looks at the room her husband is in, then starts
timorously along the hall to the door behind which are Heath
and Jekyll. WE HOLD A SECOND here. She would like to go in.
She starts to knock. Jekyll's and Heath's voices are only
murmurs.

JEKYLL'S VOICE
(suddenly rising clear)
But I'm not witch doctor!

HEATH'S VOICE
(rising, too - very
clear)
Who's called you a witch doctor? You
told me yourself you've had no
definite success. I can't allow you
to experiment with -

There are sudden quick footsteps toward door, and it is flung
open by Jekyll.

Genres: Drama, Psychological Thriller
Tone: Agitated, Worried, Pathetic, Timorous

Summary Dr. Jekyll and Dr. Heath engage in a heated debate regarding the controversial treatment of Mr. Higgins. Despite Heath's ethical concerns, Jekyll insists on proceeding with his experimental approach, valuing scientific advancement over patient safety. Mrs. Higgins, caught between her desire to aid her husband and her apprehension about Jekyll's methods, watches the argument unfold with anxiety.

Strengths

Effective portrayal of ethical dilemma
Strong character dynamics
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly expository
Limited exploration of the patient's perspective

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from Beatrix's laughter to a hospital setting without a clear connection or smooth transition.
The dialogue between Dr. Heath and Dr. Jekyll feels a bit forced and lacks natural flow, making it less engaging for the audience.
The emotional impact of Mrs. Higgins' distress and the seriousness of the situation with her husband could be portrayed more effectively to evoke empathy from the audience.
The conflict between Dr. Heath and Dr. Jekyll is not fully developed or resolved in this scene, leaving the audience with a sense of unresolved tension.
The pacing of the scene feels rushed, with quick transitions between different locations and interactions, making it challenging for the audience to fully engage with the characters and their motivations.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition between Beatrix's laughter and the hospital setting to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
Work on refining the dialogue between Dr. Heath and Dr. Jekyll to make it more natural and engaging for the audience.
Focus on enhancing the emotional depth of Mrs. Higgins' distress and the gravity of the situation with her husband to create a more impactful and empathetic scene.
Develop the conflict between Dr. Heath and Dr. Jekyll further to add depth and complexity to their interactions, providing a more compelling narrative arc.
Take time to slow down the pacing of the scene, allowing for more nuanced character development and interaction to enhance the audience's connection with the story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

HEATH
(following him)
Why, the man's a human being -!

Jekyll wheels on him at the door, his eyes blazing.

(CONTINUED)
13.

22 CONTINUED: 22

JEKYLL
You mean he was a human being! And
he'd have another chance at it, if
you'd keep your hide-bound ethics
out of this! There aren't any rules
for discovering medical Utopia! Or
perhaps you haven't the courage to
face what might be the greatest -!

He stops, glaring impotently at Heath, who steps back a
little, so vehement is Jekyll's look and attitude. Then,
with an inarticulate growl of disgust, Jekyll wheels away
quickly, AS WE TRUCK AND PAN with him to the end of the
corridor and around the corner. The tension of his anger
relaxes into a bitter smile as he walks along. He passes
some swinging glass opaque doors marked: "CHILDREN'S WARD",
and is about to go on when he thinks of something and turns
back, entering the ward.

23 PAN SHOT - JEKYLL - INT. WARD 23

As he walks down between corridor of beds and steps quickly
behind screen which covers the fourth of fifth bed. This is
obviously the Children's Orthepedoic Ward as we see by the
condition of the patients in the various beds.

24 CLOSE SHOT - AT BED 24

A small boy has obviously been badly smashed in an accident.
A worried young father, sitting by the bed, gets up quickly
as Jekyll comes in. The little boy, his legs suspended in a
pully contraption, smiles weakly at Jekyll as the latter
feels his pulse.

JEKYLL
(to little boy)
Hullo, Tommy Atkins - how's the war?

The little boy laughs in weak happiness.

FATHER
(to Jekyll)
He's - he's going to be all right,
isn't he, doctor?

Jekyll waits a second, counting pulse.

JEKYLL
(smiling at boy)
Charlie and I never had a doubt about
it, did we, Charlie?

At this moment o.s. we hear a little girl's voice wailing.

(CONTINUED)
14.

24 CONTINUED: 24

LITTLE GIRL'S VOICE (O.S.)
I can't! Please, nurse --

NURSE'S VOICE (O.S.)
Now do as nurse says, Dorothy.

Jekyll looks in the direction of the voice and walks off
o.s.

25 35 GROUP SHOT - AISLE BETWEEN BEDS 25

A nurse is trying to get a little girl of five or six to
throw away her crutches and walk. The little girl is
frightened. Neither of them notices Jekyll as he comes out
in the aisle and watches the scene.

NURSE
Give the crutches to nurse now,
Dorothy.

DOROTHY
(her lip quivering)
I can't! I'll fall again. I don't
want to fall again.

NURSE
(starting to reason
again)
Dorothy dear, listen to me. If I
tell you -?

26 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 26

Jekyll is studying Dorothy o.s.

DOROTHY'S VOICE
But I'll hurt myself some more. I
can't walk.

JEKYLL
(suddenly - firmly)
Dorothy!
(he exits towards her)

27 CLOSE SHOT - DOROTHY AND JEKYLL 27

as she looks at Jekyll, who comes into SCENE.

DOROTHY
(slowly)
What, sir?

JEKYLL
Give me those crutches.
15.

28 FULL SHOT 28

Dorothy allows Jekyll to take the crutches from her. She
stands wavering.

JEKYLL
(without holding out
hands)
Now walk. Walk here to me.

Dorothy teeters after him as he backs up slowly for fifteen
feet. As she reaches Jekyll he kneels down and steadies her.

29 GROUP SHOT - JEKYLL, DOROTHY AND NURSE 29

DOROTHY
(looking at him in
wonder)
I walked! I walked, didn't I?

JEKYLL
(almost severely)
Dorothy, always remember you can do
anything in this world you put your
mind to.
(then patting her
head with a grin)
Why, you'll be dancing on Hampstead
Heath next Bank Holiday!

He straightens up and hands her over to the nurse who exits
with her. Jekyll turns and WE PAN HIM OUT of the ward.

30 FULL SHOT - EXT. WARD 30

Just as Jekyll comes out into corridor; he is joined by a
pleasant, solid-looking man of about his age, Dr. John Lanyon,
his friend and colleague. Lanyon, a stethescope about his
neck, yet attired as Jekyll, looks concerned as WE TRUCK
THEM down the corridor.

DR. LANYON
Harry, old boy, what's up? There're
rumors of a tiff between you and --

Genres: Drama, Historical
Tone: Intense, Compassionate, Authoritative

Summary Dr. Jekyll passionately argues with Heath about continuing his groundbreaking medical experiments despite ethical concerns. After an intense exchange, Jekyll storms off and enters the Children's Ward, where he encourages a young girl to walk despite her fears. As he leaves, he is joined by Dr. Lanyon, who expresses concern about rumors of a disagreement between Jekyll and Heath.

Strengths

Strong character development
Emotional depth
Compelling dialogue

Weaknesses

Limited external conflict
Lack of high stakes

General Critique

The scene starts with a heated argument between Dr. Jekyll and Dr. Heath, which sets a tense and dramatic tone. However, the dialogue feels a bit on-the-nose and could benefit from more subtlety in conveying the conflict.
The characterization of Dr. Jekyll as passionate and determined is well-established, but Dr. Heath's character could be further developed to provide a stronger counterpoint to Jekyll's beliefs.
The transition from the argument to Jekyll's bitter smile and subsequent interaction in the Children's Ward feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
The interaction with the little boy in the Children's Ward is heartwarming and showcases Jekyll's compassionate side, but the shift to the little girl Dorothy's storyline feels slightly disconnected and could be better integrated into the overall narrative.
The resolution with Dorothy learning to walk is a touching moment, but the dialogue could be more nuanced to capture the emotional impact of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider refining the dialogue between Jekyll and Heath to add depth to their conflict and make it more engaging for the audience.
Work on smoother transitions between different storylines within the scene to maintain coherence and flow.
Explore opportunities to further develop Dr. Heath's character to provide a more compelling foil to Dr. Jekyll.
Ensure that each interaction in the scene contributes meaningfully to the overall narrative and character development.
Fine-tune the emotional beats of the scene to enhance the impact of key moments, such as Dorothy learning to walk.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

JEKYLL
(with a calming
gesture, and a rueful
smile)
Don't worry, John. The bull is leaving
the china shop.

DR. LANYON
But you must realize that Heath has
his --

(CONTINUED)
16.

30 CONTINUED: 30

JEKYLL
(sardonically, yet
with affection)
I realize, Dr. John Lanyon, my friend
and eminently respected surgeon that
your Dr. Heath is right. My treatment
was not yet thoroughly proven. And
if we doctors were allowed to
experiment on human beings, too many
things would go wrong - and human
beings might lose faith even in the
proven good of medicine. Isn't that
it?

By this time WE HOLD as they reach a table near the foyer on
which doctors have placed their hats and sticks and from
which Jekyll picks up his.

DR. LANYON
(attempting to reason)
Harry --

JEKYLL
(now definitely)
But I'm not far from proof! And when
I get it: Ethics or no ethics!

Lanyon shrugs, and laughs, patting Jekyll with a soothing
gesture on the back, and exiting o.s. down another turn of
the corridor.

Then Jekyll thinks of something and starts quickly back down
the corridor just as the interne of the previous SCENE rounds
a corner to meet him, carrying a leather vial case. WE HOLD.

INTERNE
(handing case to him)
I thought perhaps you'd --

JEKYLL
(quickly, serious)
Yes.
(opens case, runs his
fingers over tops of
vials disclosed to
see if all are there,
then closes it)
Thank you, Fenwick.

We PAN HIM as he turns back toward foyer again, taking out a
key and locking case as he goes, as we,

DISSOLVE TO:

41-42 OUT.
17.

31 FULL SHOT - EXT. JEKYLL'S HOUSE - LATER 31

It is the type of house found in Harley Street of Adam
architecture, proving Jekyll's means and position. Jekyll's
carriage draws up and stops.

31A CLOSER SHOT - AT CARRIAGE 31A

Jekyll merely sits and stares ahead of him, unaware that he
is home. The groom, not hearing him open the door, looks
around. This causes Jekyll to look at the groom, realize
they have reached home.

JEKYLL
Oh - yes, Burke -

He gets out, and WE PAN HIM up to the front door. He takes
out his key and enters.

32 OUT. 32

33 FULL SHOT - INT. ENTRANCE HALL - JEKYLL'S HOUSE 33

Jekyll lets himself in with the key, walks slowly to the
center of the hall, stands there in thought for a second.
Poole, his butler, an old man full of warm adoration for
him, is hurrying down the stairs, and goes to him.

POOLE
(taking his hat and
stick)
Good afternoon, sir.

JEKYLL
(almost to himself)
Hello, Poole...

POOLE
I'm so glad you're home for tea,
sir. Where will you take it?

JEKYLL
(strolling slowly
away)
Oh - anywhere....

(CONTINUED)
18.

33 CONTINUED: 33

POOLE
(hurrying up beside
him)
I'll be bound you've had no lunch...
those hospitals. Some nice buttered
crumpets, sir - but we mustn't have
too much, or we shan't be eating a
good dinner at the Marley's - and
Miss Beatrix would be after me
properly.

JEKYLL
(not having heard a
word)
Hmmm...

With this he quickens his pace, and darts through an entrance
way off the hall.

34 FULL PAN SHOT - EXT. COURTYARD AND BRIDGE - JEKYLL'S HOUSE 34

The back court and garden are sunk below the ground level of
the main house. Jekyll comes from the main house across a
bridge which leads to another separate building in back, his
laboratory. He reaches door of lab. Poole stands in the door
of the main house.

POOLE
Shall I serve it in the laboratory,
sir?

35 CLOSE SHOT - POOLE - AT DOOR OF MAIN HOUSE 35

POOLE
(calling after him -
losing patience)
Now you must have something, you
know -!

He stops as WE HEAR a door slam o.s. He shakes his head
hopelessly.
19.

36 FULL SHOT - INT. LAB 36

Genres: Drama, Thriller
Tone: Intense, Sarcastic, Serious, Hopeful

Summary Dr. Jekyll assures Dr. Lanyon that he is stopping dangerous experiments, but then admits he is close to a breakthrough and will keep working, ethics aside. Jekyll retrieves a mysterious vial, dismisses his butler, and enters his laboratory, lost in thought.

Strengths

Strong dialogue
Effective character dynamics
Exploration of ethical dilemmas

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue
Limited physical action

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, with Jekyll's actions and dialogue feeling disconnected and disjointed.
The dialogue between Jekyll and Dr. Lanyon is verbose and lacks subtlety, making the scene feel heavy-handed.
The transition between Jekyll's interactions with Dr. Lanyon and his arrival at his house is abrupt and lacks smooth continuity.
The scene fails to build tension or engage the audience, with Jekyll's internal conflict not effectively conveyed.
The interaction between Jekyll and Poole lacks depth and fails to add meaningful insight into Jekyll's character or motivations.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on streamlining the dialogue to make it more concise and impactful, conveying Jekyll's internal struggle more effectively.
Consider adding more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional depth of the scene and create a stronger connection with the audience.
Work on improving the pacing and flow of the scene to create a more engaging and cohesive narrative.
Explore Jekyll's internal conflict and emotional turmoil in a more nuanced and subtle way to add depth to his character.
Consider restructuring the scene to create a clearer arc and build towards a more impactful resolution or revelation.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

In the center of the room is a huge work-table covered by a
strange series of test tubes, vials, crucibles, a smelter...
and a mysterious pharaphernailia of connected glass stills
form a weird unknown world in themselves. There is a cabinet
full of surgical instruments and another larger closed cabinet
with a heavy lock. There is little furniture except a writing
desk with a file and a chair. Jekyll hurries along a balcony
and down a flight of steps at the back into the room. He
places his case on the table. WE DOLLY AND PAN HIM over to a
row of cages filled with rats, guinea pigs and rabbits. His
manner is anxious, anticipatory. He looks at the first two
or three cages. In the first a couple of guinea pigs seem
rather active. He looks at their actions closely. He seems a
little excited as he passes to the next two cages, but then
his expression falls.

36A CLOSE SHOT - TWO CAGES - HIS ANGLE - 36A

In one a large rabbit lies dead. In the second is a large
dead rat.

36B CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 36B

He reaches o.s. and picks out the two dead animals. WE PAN
HIM down the wall a little.

-- [19] --

He takes a large rabbit out of a smaller cage. It is gentle
and sniffs his hand. He strokes its head. WE PAN HIM back as
he puts the rabbit into the experimental cage and then PAN
HIM as he picks up a heavy glove and puts it on his hand. He
stops by a cage in which is a large wharf rat, and reaches
in for it with his gloved hand.

36C CLOSE SHOT - RAT - INT. CAGE 36C

He backs into a corner as Jekyll's hand enters and then
springs at Jekyll's fingers, biting the leather. But Jekyll's
hand pins him down by the back of the neck.
20.

36D CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 36D

He brings the rat out and WE PAN him as he places it in the
second experimental cage. He picks up the two dead animals,
crosses with them to the main laboratory table. He unlocks
his case and takes out a single vial and looks from vial to
the dead animals. We feel a connection between them and the
attempted treatment of Higgins. Jekyll frowns, then
immediately starts to work. He takes out an oral syringe,
tests it, looking back at the fresh animals, then he lights
a gas flame under a tube, starts arranging a cooling coil,
etc., mixing concoctions, and WE DOLLY INTO HIS troubled
face, as we

DISSOLVE TO:

37 CLOSE SHOT - BEATRIX - INT. MARLEY DINING ROOM 37

Her expression is also troubled. She sits dawdling with her
dessert, and then she looks o.s. as WE PULL BACK ALONG the
table.

The Marley dining room is typical of the period, high stiff
chairs, seating fourteen people. They are in evening dress.
Mr. Marley, the vacant-looking host, sits at one end. On his
left, in order, are: Mrs. French, [...] Courtney - a bearded
conservative of the profession, Mrs. Courtney, Sir Charles,
Mrs. Weymouth - a female eagle withered from the tropics,
Colonel Weymouth, her husband, an old red-faced officer of
horse in mufti with decorations on his lapel, and then Mrs.
Marley, hostess. On Mrs. Marley's right, in order are:

The Bishop of All Souls, Lady Cooper - a coy female, then an
empty chair, then Beatrix, Lanyon, and Mrs. Arnold next to
Mr. Marley.

There is quiet, well-bred small talk. A butler and two maids
are in attendance. WE HOLD on Sir Charles as he looks at his
watch, and then glances o.s. at the empty chair next to
Beatrix.

38 CLOSE SHOT - BEATRIX 38

She reacts to her father's frown and turns to smile casually
at something said farthur down the table.

AD LIB
(under all this)
We had a perfectly shocking meet at
Ascot, didn't we?
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
21.

38 CONTINUED: 38

AD LIB (CONT'D)
Puggie Wilson has a wonderful new
filly, I understand... A good chance
for the Oaks this year... Of course
she's rather pretty - but my dear,
her father is in trade.... The poor
boy's just down from Cambridge --
simply exhausted from work...
Education demands sacrifice, doesn't
it? Etc.

Beatrix! expression suddenly lights up as we HEAR Jekyll's
Voice o.s.

JEKYLL'S VOICE (O.S.)
Mrs. Marley -!

39 FULL SHOT - DINING ROOM 39

Jekyll is just entering the dining room from the drawing
room, followed by a footman who has evidently just admitted
him. Jekyll heads straight for Mrs. Marley. The men rise.

40 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL AND MRS. MARLEY 40

She looks at him a little stiffly as she offers her hand.

JEKYLL
My deepest apologies.

MRS. MARLEY
(slightly sarcastic)
I know - you doctors - we can never
rely on you, can we?

JEKYLL
(turning on charm,
over her hand)
Mrs. Marley, I'd rather be reminded
of my short-comings by the smartest
hostess in London than to be on the
Jubilee Honors list.

MRS. MARLEY
(with a double-take,
completely mollified)
Ch! Sit there, Dr. Jekyll...

She indicates vacant seat o.s., and we PAN Jekyll as he walks
to it.

Genres: Drama, Mystery, Thriller
Tone: Anxious, Anticipatory, Troubled, Casual, Sarcastic, Charming, Mollified

Summary Dr. Jekyll prepares for a dinner party in his laboratory, experimenting with rabbits and rats. Meanwhile, the guests wait for his arrival in the dining room, engaging in polite conversation.

Strengths

Effective tension-building
Complex characters
Intriguing premise

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly forced or cliched

General Critique

The scene description provides a detailed and vivid depiction of Dr. Jekyll's laboratory, setting the stage for the upcoming events.
The introduction of the dead rabbit and rat adds a sense of foreboding and sets a dark tone for the scene.
The interaction between Jekyll and the live rabbit and rat showcases his anticipation and focus on his experiments.
The visual cues and actions of Jekyll as he prepares his concoctions and experiments effectively convey his troubled state of mind.
The transition to the Marley dining room introduces a contrasting setting and atmosphere, hinting at the social dynamics and tensions among the characters.
The dialogue and interactions at the dining table provide insight into the characters' personalities and relationships, adding depth to the scene.
Jekyll's entrance into the dining room and his interaction with Mrs. Marley effectively show his charm and social skills.
The scene effectively sets up a contrast between Jekyll's scientific pursuits and his social interactions, hinting at the internal conflict he faces.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal monologue or reflections from Jekyll to provide insight into his thoughts and emotions as he conducts his experiments.
Explore ways to further enhance the tension and suspense in the laboratory scene, perhaps by introducing more elements of risk or consequences.
Develop the interactions at the dining table to deepen the characterization and relationships between the characters, adding layers to the social dynamics.
Consider incorporating subtle foreshadowing or hints about Jekyll's inner turmoil and the impending conflict to build anticipation for future scenes.
Ensure a smooth transition between the laboratory and dining room scenes to maintain the flow and coherence of the narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

JEKYLL
(to standing gentlemen)
Gentlemen, please... Good evening,
Bishop - John - Colonel Weymouth -

(CONTINUED)
22.

40 CONTINUED: 40

AD LIB
Ah, Doctor... Harry... good evening,
sir.

JEKYLL
(looking at Beatrix -
as butler pulls out
chair muttering)
Been behaving yourself?

41 CLOSE SHOT - BEATRIX 41

As she laughs, and looks around the table.

42 GROUP SHOT - INCLUDING JEKYLL 42

As he sits down between Beatrix and Lady Cooper.

JEKYLL
(to Lady Cooper - yet
feeling for Beatrix's
hand)
Lady Cooper - my short-comings are
rewarded.

LADY COOPER
(a coy dame)
Naughty man.

There is correct laughter at this "risque" dialogue.

DR. LANYON
A doctor's life, eh, Harry? The more
patients, the colder the soup.

JEKYLL
Wasn't a patient, exactly. I started
something in the laboratory and just
forgot to lock at the clock.

DR. COURTNEY
(a little patronizing)
Ah, yes, Jekyll - Heath was telling
me you're still carrying on with
that research of yours.

JEKYLL
(with a wry smile)
I'm afraid Dr. Heath isn't quite -
well, in sympathy, Dr. Courtney.

DR. COURTNEY
Well, that's understandable, isn't
it?
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
23.

42 CONTINUED: 42

DR. COURTNEY (CONT'D)
Separating the facets of the brain...
a little ambitious, I'd say.

JEKYLL
(stung)
My research hopes to go deeper than
the brain -- into something more
intangible than the mind, even.

DR. COURTNEY
(looking at others
with a laugh)
Well, all that seems to be left is
the soul.

Colonel Weymouth and Marley laugh.

JEKYLL
All right. Have it that way. Because
that's just where I am aiming -- at
the soul.

A maid, putting his soup in front of him, looks extremely
startled.

43 CLOSE SHOT - SIR CHARLES AND OTHERS 43

He locks amazed at Jekyll o.s., puzzled and frowning.

DR. COURTNEY'S VOICE (O.S.)
The soul?

AD LIB (O.S.)
Good heavens... did he say "soul"?
What does he mean...? Etc.

44 GROUP SHOT - INCLUDING JEKYLL, BISHOP, LADY COOPER 44

LADY COOPER
The soul! How thrilling!

BISHOP
(genially)
Come, come - my dear doctor - now
you're invading my territory.

JEKYLL
(looking at him with
a serious smile)
Yes, my Lord - and I hope I may be
of some assistance.
24.

45 CLOSE SHOT - SIR CHARLES 45

He is a little startled by this radical statement and wishes
to assume that Harry is joking.

SIR CHARLES
My dear Harry - of course, you don't
mean this?

46 GROUP SHOT - INCLUDING JEKYLL 46

He looks quickly over at Sir Charles, picking up the
challenge.

JEKYLL
But I do, Sir Charles. Just consider
that poor chap in church this morning.
If you didn't see him, you all heard
him, I'm sure.

BISHOP
Ah, yes. I thank you for your
assistance there, Dr. Jekyll.

DR. COURTNEY
(with finality)
Hopelessly insane. Obviously.

MRS. MARLEY
Why, the simply shocking things he
said...

JEKYLL
He wasn't insane. There was just one
side of him in existence. And that
side was speaking the truth.

COLONEL WEYMOUTH
Good heavens! Which side?

JEKYLL
His evil side. The man has been
spiritually distorted through shock...
that explosion in the gas mains last
month. Before that he was a fine,
solid citizen - gentle and kind with
his children - deeply in love with
his wife. Since then, he's suffered
a complete change - so that this
afternoon I saw him entirely reverted
to the animal - slythinking and vile,
dangerous and rapacious, by turns.

(CONTINUED)
25.

46 CONTINUED: 46

Genres: Drama, Mystery, Thriller
Tone: Serious, Mysterious, Intriguing, Tense

Summary Dr. Jekyll attends a dinner party and discusses his controversial research on separating the facets of the brain and the soul. He claims that a man seen behaving badly in church that morning was not insane, but rather had one evil side of him in existence due to a recent traumatic event. This claim shocks the other guests at the party, who debate the implications of his research.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Intriguing concept of the soul
Well-defined characters

Weaknesses

Limited emotional impact
Character changes not fully realized

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear focus and direction, with multiple characters and conversations happening simultaneously.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, with characters making radical statements without proper build-up or context.
The transition between different topics and interactions is abrupt and disjointed, making it difficult for the audience to follow the scene.
The tone of the scene shifts inconsistently, from polite conversation to intense philosophical debates, without a smooth transition.
The character motivations and reactions are not well-established, leading to confusion and disbelief in their actions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on one central conflict or theme to drive the scene forward and engage the audience.
Develop the dialogue to be more organic and reflective of the characters' personalities and relationships.
Create a smoother transition between different topics and interactions to maintain coherence and flow.
Establish clear character motivations and reactions to make their actions more believable and relatable to the audience.
Consider restructuring the scene to build tension and suspense, leading to a more impactful resolution.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

LADY COOPER
(in the silence, edging
a little from Jekyll)
Mercy -!

47 CLOSE SHOT - SIR CHARLES 47

The other maid is just taking away his dessert, plate. The
maid looks wide-eyed at Jekyll o.s. Sir Charles is very
uncomfortable.

SIR CHARLES
(shifting uneasily)
Yes... ahumm...

48 GROUP SHOT - AGAIN 48

DR. LANYON
(trying to pass it
off casually)
But Harry - what's that to do with
the soul? We can clearly understand
it as an injury to the nervous system
and therefore --

JEKYLL
(now lost in his
subject, earnestly
reasoning)
No, no, John - I insist he has been
shocked from normal good into complete
evil. When I said before he was a
"good" man, I didn't mean that he
didn't have a bad thought or two
from time to time -- and perhaps
commit his portion of transgressions
against the laws of civilized society.
Because, after all - that is the
problem of civilized Man's soul -the
good and the evil in it are constantly
fighting one another.

49 GROUP SHOT - INCLUDING JEKYLL AND BISHOP 49

The Bishop is the least affronted, very interested, but
adamnantly patient.

BISHOP
There is a Higher Source from which
the good may always find aid in its
fight, Dr. Jekyll....

JEKYLL
I realize that, sir - but...
26.

50 CLOSE SHOT - COLONEL AND HIS WIFE 50

MRS. WEYMOUTH
(haughtily - her hand
possessively on
Colonel's arm)
Of course. The Colonel and I always
feel that people can be good if they
wish to be - and, well - otherwise,
if they don't.

COLONEL
(with a snort)
Exactly. Discipline! Everything
else is poppycock!
(then militantly
changing subject
with a joke)
Haw! But men going dotty and all
that do amusin' things at times. I
remember our sergeant during the
second Punjab campaign. We attacked
and --

MRS. WEYMOUTH
It was our quartermaster.

COLONEL
(not breaking his
stride)
Quiet, my dear - you were in Poona
at the time. I remember this -

51 CLOSE SHOT - MARLEY 51

MARLEY
(his mouth agape as
he still looks at
Jekyll vacuously)
But look here, Jekyll - I mean I - I
simply must get this straight - you
mean -?

52 FLASH SHOT - MRS. MARLEY 52

She is trying to get her stupid husband's eye to keep him
from pressing the subject.
27.

53 GROUP SHOT - INCLUDING JEKYLL 53

JEKYLL
(warmed to his subject,
glad of the interest)
Well, to put it as simply as I can -
Good and evil are so close as to be
chained together in the soul. Man
isn't truly one, but two. Now what
if we could break that chain -
separate those two selves --
(his face alight,
lost in his subject)
To free the good in man, and let it
go on to its higher destiny... to
segregate the bad in man - and let
it destroy itself in its own
degradation!
(looks around, sees
he has gone beyond
their comprehension -
finishes lamely)
Well, roughly that's what my research
is leading to -- a combination of
chemical agents, which if administered
would --

Marley has just awakened to the fact that his guests aren't
very happy - particularly the two nervous ladies on his either
side. Also, he feels his own "character" attacked.

MARLEY
(sputtering)
But see here - aren't you rather
presumptuous in assuming there is
evil in all men?

JEKYLL
Of course there's evil in all men!

He speaks the following with a peculiar faunlike glee, jabbing
at them with his tone, quietly, but watching them all as he
looks around the table. He's mad now at their subborn refusal
to look at the facts.

54 PAN SHOT - SLOW - AROUND TABLE 54

Jekyll's voice comes over the stiff-lipped women and
uncomfortable men.

(CONTINUED)
28.

54 CONTINUED: 54

Genres: Drama, Psychological Thriller
Tone: Intense, Philosophical, Controversial

Summary Dr. Jekyll's passionate argument about the coexistence of good and evil in the human soul sparks discomfort among dinner guests, challenging their beliefs and leaving them deeply unsettled.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Exploration of complex themes
Controversial ideas

Weaknesses

Lack of emotional depth
Limited character development

General Critique

The scene is filled with intense and passionate dialogue, which may be overwhelming for the audience. It's important to balance the intensity with moments of subtlety and nuance.
The characters' reactions to Jekyll's theories are somewhat predictable and lack depth. Adding more layers to their responses could make the scene more engaging.
The transition between different characters and their reactions could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
Jekyll's sudden shift in tone and demeanor, from earnest reasoning to faunlike glee, may come across as jarring and inconsistent. It's important to ensure his character development is cohesive and believable.
The scene lacks visual elements and actions, which could enhance the storytelling and engage the audience on a deeper level.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding moments of subtlety and nuance to balance out the intense dialogue.
Develop the characters' reactions to Jekyll's theories to add depth and complexity to the scene.
Work on smoother transitions between different characters and their responses to maintain the flow of the scene.
Ensure Jekyll's character development is consistent and believable throughout the scene.
Introduce visual elements and actions to enhance the storytelling and engage the audience on a deeper level.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

JEKYLL'S VOICE
We'd be hypocrites if we didn't admit
it. We've all had thoughts we wouldn't
care to have published ... or shouted
out loud. Our desires aren't always
confirmed to a drawing room. As
Christian we admit that Man was
created weak! It's an honest problem.
Shouldn't we face it?

By this time WE HOLD ON the Bishop. There is a tense silence!

BISHOP
(with gentle dignity)
Suppose we believe that Man's soul
has not yet reached its fulfillment.
Is it right or wise to tamper with
this problem, until its Creator has
solved it - in His own mysterious
way?

55 GROUP SHOT - INCLUDING JEKYLL, COLONEL, BISHOP 55

The Colonel is looking across at Jekyll, trembling with
austere indignation.

JEKYLL
(softening a little)
My Lord - as I said before -

56 CLOSE SHOT - DR. COURTNEY - 56

He draws himself up in a severe conservative huff.

DR. COURTNEY
Really, Jekyll - this is quite
alarming. Such theories are
dangerously close to a -- well, I
hesitate to think what the Medical
Council will be forced to say if --

57 GROUP SHOT - INCLUDING JEKYLL'S END OF TABLE 57

Sir Charles looks with alarm at what Dr. Courtney is saying.

JEKYLL
(with an undercurrent
of heat - but smiling)
Dr. Courtney - advanced theories are
always the sore-point for the Medical
Council - or even a Queen's physician.
Especially if there's a confortable
profit in those already safely
established.

(CONTINUED)
29.

57 CONTINUED: 57

DR. COURTNEY
(bristling)
Jekyll - if -

COLONEL
(suddenly exploding)
If you want my opinion, young man -
this is all pure balderdash!

JEKYLL
(right back at him)
Really, Colonel Weymouth? Suppose
we take your profession. What about
the soldier when he comes out of
battle - keyed up from the lust of
killing? What about his thoughts?
He's lonely - bewildered. Why just
recall yourself, as a young subaltern
in Egypt - back from a campaign up
the Nile - on a moonlit night in
Cairo. What were your thoughts? What
was in your mind?

For a moment the Colonel is so moved by the glamor and
nostalgia in Jekyll's words, that his mouth is agape.

COLONEL
(half remembering dim
conquests)
Well, now - if you put it - I mean
that's something diff--
(then suddenly feels
his wife's eagle
glare - pounds table)
Harrumph! By Gad, sir! I've heard
enough!

58 CLOSE SHOT - MRS. MARLEY 58

She pushes her chair back in the sudden silence, rises with
a sugary little murmur.

MRS. MARLEY
Ladies...?

59 FULL SHOT - ROOM 59

As the ladies rise, and leave, the men standing.

LADY COOPER
(as they go)
Oh, I meant to ask. Has anybody seen
Wilde's new play, "The Ideal Husband"?

(CONTINUED)
30.

59 CONTINUED: 59

MRS. FRENCH
Oh, yes - at the Haymarket - a little
so-so for my taste but then -

MRS. ARNOLD
The pantomime at the Lane is
magnificent. Dan [...] is screamingly
funny.

MRS. COURTNEY
Yes. And have you seen Irving's "King
Arthur"... Superb...

60 TWO SHOT - BEATRIX AND JEKYLL (OVER THIS) 60

As she rises she gives him a little smile which means "I'm-
with-you", perhaps even purses her lips at him quickly as WE
PAN her away with the other women.

61 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 61

He looks after her, raises his eyebrow with a dry grin and
shrugs his shoulders.

62 CLOSE SHOT - SIR CHARLES 62

He is looking from Jekyll to Beatrix o.s., a worried look of
disapproval in his expression, as we,

DISSOLVE TO:

63 FULL SHOT - CARRIAGE - EXT STREET - NIGHT 63

It clops along with two horses, footman and driver on box.

64 FULL SHOT - INT. CARRIAGE - LATER 64

Beatrix sits between Jekyll and Sir Charles on the back seat.
Lanyon sits on the jump seat. Sir Charles looks silent and
worried. All are aware of this. WE ONLY HEAR the clop-clop
of the horses. Beatrix suddenly puts her hand over her
Father's.

BEATRIX
(affectionately)
Tired, Father darling...?

Genres: Drama, Historical
Tone: Controversial, Intense, Nostalgic, Indignant, Sarcastic

Summary At a Victorian dinner party, Dr. Jekyll challenges societal norms by arguing that humans have dark thoughts and desires that should be acknowledged. The Bishop warns against tampering with the soul before God solves the problem, while Dr. Courtney and the Colonel express outrage. Jekyll confronts the Colonel about the thoughts of soldiers returning from battle, reminding him of his own past experiences. The discussion is cut short when the ladies leave, leaving the conflicts unresolved.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Character development
Exploration of central themes

Weaknesses

Some characters may come across as one-dimensional

General Critique

The scene starts with a strong and thought-provoking statement from Jekyll, but the transition to the Bishop's response feels a bit abrupt.
There is a lack of clarity in the conflict between Jekyll and the other guests at the dinner party. The tension could be heightened to create a more engaging and impactful scene.
The dialogue between Jekyll and Dr. Courtney, as well as the Colonel, could be more dynamic and intense to emphasize the clash of ideas and beliefs.
The exit of the ladies from the dinner party feels somewhat disconnected from the main conversation, and their departure could be better integrated into the scene.
The interaction between Beatrix and Jekyll at the end of the scene could be more emotionally charged to reflect the underlying tension and disapproval from Sir Charles.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more build-up to the Bishop's response to Jekyll's statement to create a smoother flow of dialogue.
Enhance the conflict between Jekyll and the other guests by adding more confrontational dialogue and reactions to heighten the drama.
Revise the dialogue between Jekyll, Dr. Courtney, and the Colonel to make it more impactful and engaging for the audience.
Integrate the departure of the ladies from the dinner party more seamlessly into the main conversation to maintain the focus on the central conflict.
Amplify the emotional intensity between Beatrix and Jekyll at the end of the scene to emphasize the disapproval from Sir Charles and the underlying tension in their relationship.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

SIR CHARLES
Hm? Oh - no, no.
(as carriage stops)
Well - here we are, eh?
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
31.

64 CONTINUED: 64

SIR CHARLES (CONT'D)
(as Footman opens
door - and Lanyon
gets out)
That's it. You first, John.
(getting out himself
with a grunt, as he
rises)
Hmph! Getting old, I suppose.

65 GROUP SHOT - EXT. - AT CARRIAGE 65

They are in front of Sir Charles' house, a large mansion of
the period.

DR. LANYON
Well, Sir Charles, it's been a long
evening, so I imagine you -

SIR CHARLES
Oh, no - no. You must come in for a
night-cap, John.
(with a smile)
If you don't think the rest of the
company will be bored with each other.

Jekyll and Bee look at each other with relieved smiles.

DR. LANYON
Well - thank you, sir. Just one.

They all move toward the house, as we PAN, and

DISSOLVE TO:

66 FULL SHOT - INT. DRAWING ROOM 66

It is excellently and richly appointed in the style of the
period. Some French doors open off into a conservatory to
one side. Lanyon is pouring the drinks from a tray. Beatrix
and Jekyll are across the room at a music box, looking for
some discs. Sir Charles is looking in a humidor for cigars.

66A TWO SHOT - JEKYLL AND BEATRIX 66A

Jekyll is looking at a disc.

JEKYLL
What about this -?

BEATRIX
(whispering)
No.... this -

She looks affectionately o.s. toward her Father.

(CONTINUED)
32.

66A CONTINUED: 66A

JEKYLL
(puzzled - in same
voice)
What -?

BEATRIX
(whispering)
This is the one that makes Father
wind his watch.
(she puts it on and
it starts a lovely
waltz))
Look -

THEY BOTH LOOK

66B PAN SHOT - SIR CHARLES 66B

He raises his eyes from the humidor at the first strains. He
seems to think back for a second. THEN WE PAN HIM as he walks
slowly to grandfather's clock. Beside the clock is a portrait
of a lovely woman, obwiously Beatrix's mother by her looks.
Sir Charles takes out his watch and winds it, but he does
not look at it. He is looking up at the picture, not the
clock.

66C CLOSE SHOT - PICTURE 66C

66D CLOSE SHOT - SIR CHARLES 66D

His eyes are a little misty, as he looks o.s. at the picture.

66E TWO SHOT - BEATRIX AND JEKYLL 66E

As they watch Sir Charles o.s.

BEATRIX
(to Jekyll)
It is the waltz that he and Mama
first danced together.

JEKYLL
(touched)
Oh...
(turns to Beatrix,
with a little bow)
May I have the honor, Miss Beatrix?

BEATRIX
(curtseying)
With pleasure, Dr. Jekyll.

He takes her in his arms, and they waltz through the French
doors into the conservatory.
33.

67 CLOSE SHOT - SIR CHARLES 67

He turns from the picture and watches them waltz o.s.

68 EFFECT SHOT - SIR CHARLES' ANGLE - BEATRIX AND JEKYLL 68

They waltz, framed in the French doors.

68A CLOSE SHOT - SIR CHARLES 68A

He smiles a little wistfully, touched by his memories.

68B BACK TO BEATRIX AND JEKYLL - HIS ANGLE 68B

They dance o.s. into the part of the conservatory hidden
from his view.

69 CLOSE SHOT - SIR CHARLES 69

His wistful expression turns to one of worry. Lanyon appears
INTO SCENE, carrying two glasses, hands one to Sir Charles.

DR. LANYON
Sir Charles...
(raising his glass)
Your health, sir.

SIR CHARLES
Hm? Oh, yes, John - thank you, sir.

He raises his glass, then drinks, then looks o.s. toward
conservatory again, worried.

70 EFFECT SHOT - BEATRIX AND JEKYLL - INT. CONSERVATORY 70

They are in each other's arms, in a long embrace. WE ARE
SHOOTING from the middle of the round, glass-domed room,
through ferns and foliage. The waltz plays dimly o.s. Their
lips part.

JEKYLL
Where's our melody - when first we
met? We haven't got any....

They start walking around the rotunda and WE PAN.

BEATRIX
Oh, yes we have. It isn't when you
meet. It's when you know.

JEKYLL
Know what?

Genres: Drama, Historical Fiction
Tone: Wistful, Romantic, Reflective, Concerned

Summary Sir Charles, Dr. Lanyon, Dr. Jekyll, and Beatrix arrive at Sir Charles' mansion. Sir Charles invites Lanyon in for a nightcap, which Jekyll and Bee are relieved about. Lanyon pours drinks while Jekyll and Beatrix choose a disc for the music box. Beatrix chooses a waltz that reminds Sir Charles of his late wife. Jekyll and Beatrix dance, while Sir Charles watches, feeling wistful. Lanyon hands Sir Charles a drink, who is worried about Jekyll and Beatrix. Jekyll and Beatrix continue to dance and embrace in the conservatory.

Strengths

Emotional depth of characters
Romantic tension between Jekyll and Beatrix
Exploration of memories and relationships

Weaknesses

Lack of external conflict
Limited focus on plot progression

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear conflict or tension to drive the narrative forward. While it sets up a pleasant and nostalgic atmosphere, it doesn't provide much depth or intrigue.
The dialogue feels a bit superficial and lacks depth. There is a missed opportunity to delve into the characters' emotions and motivations.
The scene could benefit from more subtext and underlying tension to make it more engaging for the audience.
The emotional beats of the scene could be heightened to create a more impactful and memorable moment.
The visual descriptions could be more vivid and evocative to enhance the setting and atmosphere of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Introduce a subtle conflict or tension between the characters to add depth and intrigue to the scene.
Enhance the dialogue to reveal more about the characters' emotions, motivations, and relationships.
Consider adding subtext and underlying tension to make the scene more engaging and dynamic.
Focus on heightening the emotional beats of the scene to create a more impactful and memorable moment for the audience.
Revise the visual descriptions to make the setting and atmosphere more vivid and evocative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

(CONTINUED)
34.

70 CONTINUED: 70

BEATRIX
That the world's spinning around -
just for two people alone.

JEKYLL
When do two people know a thing like
that?

BEATRIX
Oh... just about a month ago - on a
high hill in Scotland..

JEKYLL
Oh, yes. I know that hill... Pretty
close to Heaven, isn't it?

BEATRIX
Right there. Right on the
outskirts....

JEKYLL
(as though suddenly
remembering)
I was there about that time - with a
girl of all things!

BEATRIX
Was the heather very high - and the
clouds very low above their heads -?

JEKYLL
Hmmm - yes - but what I remember
most was the way the wind caught the
absurd little ringlets in her hair.
(touching around her
ear)
Right about there.

She stops and turns to him.

BEATRIX
See? That's our melody.

JEKYLL
(nodding)
Uh-hm.

They kiss again. She looks at him a second, then draws away
and starts fingering a flower.

BEATRIX
Harry...

JEKYLL
What?
35.

71 CLOSE SHOT - BEATRIX 71

As she turns and looks up at him searchingly.

71A CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 71A

As he looks at her, wondering at her look.

JEKYLL
What, Bee?

72 TWO SHOT - BEATRIX AND JEKYLL 72

BEATRIX
(slowly) T)
Onight at dinner... I understand
what you said about good and evil in
people - and that it's that way in
all of us... but if good and evil
are so closely related in us -
chained, as you said - why isn't -?.
(then she stops with
a little laugh, and
a shake of her head,
turning from him -
fingering flower
again)
Oh, no - it sounds so... silly - and
wrong, even...

JEKYLL
(tenderly)
This is you and I. Remember us?
Nothing you and I can ever discuss
will be wrong....

BEATRIX
Well then, why - why isn't the way
you and I feel about each other -? I
mean...
(hesitates, then with
direct, serious warmth)
There's nothing evil in that, is
there?

Jekyll laughs tenderly, and takes her hand in his.

JEKYLL
Look here. You and I are in love.
Such a small word for such a great
thing!
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
36.

72 CONTINUED: 72

JEKYLL (CONT'D)
But whatever it is, it's a blessed
thing, Bee. It makes us one strong,
living soul. And it takes whatever
power - or even whatever secret
delight that there is in evil - and
turns it all into good.
(searching her eyes)
Do I have to tell you that....?

BEATRIX
Oh, no -!

She surges into his arms. They kiss passionately, then look
at each other, speechless for a moment.

JEKYLL
(suddenly)
What in the world are we doing? Here
we are -- bound hand and heart in
some ridiculous long engagement --
just because it's the conventional
correct thing to --

BEATRIX
Oh, I know, my darling - I don't
want to wait, either. Let's ask Father
if --

JEKYLL
You leave it to me. I'll take him to
the club - put a glass of his favorite
brandy in his hand and when I'm
through he'll --

They both turn as WE HEAR footsteps o.s. Sir Charles appears,
carrying a glass in his hand. The music has stopped.

SIR CHARLES
(as he approaches)
Help John, will you, my dear? He's
in there hunting for the Bonnie Banks
of Loch Lommond, or something -

BEATRIX
Oh yes, Father...

She goes past him. Jekyll starts to follow.

SIR CHARLES
Harry...

JEKYLL
Yes, Sir Charles?

(CONTINUED)
37.

72 CONTINUED: (2) 72

SIR CHARLES
I'm not one to brood about and all
that -- but you must have noticed my
attitude coming home this evening.

Genres: Drama, Romance
Tone: Tender, Serious, Passionate, Reflective, Wistful

Summary Beatrix and Jekyll discuss the nature of good and evil in relation to their love for each other. They decide to ask Beatrix's father for permission to marry sooner. However, their conversation is interrupted by Sir Charles, who asks Jekyll for help finding a song.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character development
Philosophical exploration

Weaknesses

Slightly slow pacing in some parts

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear focus and direction, jumping between romantic moments and philosophical discussions without a cohesive thread.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural at times, especially in the exchange between Jekyll and Beatrix about good and evil.
The transition between the romantic interaction and the serious discussion about good and evil feels abrupt and disjointed.
The scene could benefit from more subtlety and nuance in exploring the themes of love and morality.
The character motivations and emotions could be more clearly defined and developed to create a more engaging and relatable scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider streamlining the scene to focus on either the romantic aspect or the philosophical discussion to create a more cohesive narrative.
Work on making the dialogue more natural and reflective of how real people would communicate in such intimate moments.
Smooth out the transitions between different emotional beats to create a more seamless flow in the scene.
Add depth to the characters by exploring their inner conflicts and desires more explicitly to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
Consider adding more subtext and layers to the interactions between Jekyll and Beatrix to create a richer and more engaging dynamic.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

JEKYLL
Why, sir - I merely thought that -

SIR CHARLES
That amazing flight of fancy you put
forth at dinner... I must confess it
startled me -- and even though I'm a
broad-minded man, myself -- it was a
little shocking, too...

JEKYLL
Well, I'm sorry, Sir Charles - because
I assure you it wasn't a flight of
fancy at all.

SIR CHARLES
You mean you actually were in earnest?

JEKYLL
Profoundly so, sir. In fact, I'm
arranging to spend all my time at it --

SIR CHARLES
This is distressing, Harry --

JEKYLL
(puzzled at his
attitude)
Why?

SIR CHARLES
It's absolutely hair-brained, in my
opinion.

JEKYLL
(a little stung)
I'm sorry you feel that way. I've
just been explaining it further to
Bee. She understands.

SIR CHARLES
(stiffening - but in
gentle reminder)
There are some things no gentlewoman
should understand.

(CONTINUED)
38.

72 CONTINUED: (3) 72

JEKYLL
Oh, come now, sir. In this day and
age we're surely getting beyond all
that sort of --
(breaking off)
Besides, Bee and I are adults, sir -
we're deeplyin love - and very close.
That's why we see no need to wait.
We want to be married as soon as
possible. We both feel that --

SIR CHARLES
I thought we decided on February.

JEKYLL
But that's months away! We need
each other now. I want her near me -
with me - in all the work I'm going
to --

SIR CHARLES
No, no, Harry - I can't discuss any
change in the plans. After this
evening, more than -

JEKYLL
But, Sir Charles --

SIR CHARLES
Harry! Restraint is wise and healthy
in all matters... A sort of proving
ground. I waited five years for
Beatrix's mother.

JEKYLL
(with a wry smile)
If you'll forgive me, sir -- you
were a very sturdy man.

SIR CHARLES
(laughing)
Well, I'm not asking that of you -
but, come now, Harry. I'we always
wanted a son - and now you're going
to be that. So listen to me, my boy.
You're a coming man in your
profession. I'm proud of you. But
these ridiculous experiments won't
get you anywhere. You must give them
up. Develop your practise. Cultivate
the circle in which you and Beatrix
shall move. That's common sense, my
boy.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
39.

72 CONTINUED: (4) 72

SIR CHARLES (CONT'D)
(patting his shoulder)
There now. I've had my say. Let's
get your night-cap, hm? Getting late.

He turns and starts back into drawing room.

73 OUT 73

73A TRUCKING SHOT - SIR CHARLES AND JEKYLL 73A

SIR CHARLES
Oh, by the way, don't forget - I've
taken a box for the opening concert
at the Albert Hall -
(passes o.s. ahead of
Jekyll)
You and John will join us, of
course...

But Jekyll is hardly listening, he is moody and downcast,
and almost resentful, as we

DISSOLVE TO:

74 FULL SHOT - EXT. SIR CHARLES' HOUSE 74

Lanyon and Jekyll are just coming down the steps and turning
into the walk along the street as WE PAN AND TRUCK with them.
Jekyll is silent and moody.

DR. LANYON
(noticing his mood)
What's up? You and the old boy cross
swords?

JEKYLL
(dryly)
It seems that I should give up my
research - and carry on with taking
out little Reggie Smith's adenoids
and giving Lady Gwendolyn St. Clair
a sugar pill for her perennial self-
induced hysteria - or else encounter
the serious disapproval of Bee's
father.

DR. LANYON
(laughing)
Oh, it can't be that bad, Harry. But
you did cut up a bit rough at the
Marley's, you know.

Jekyll stops, turning to him.

(CONTINUED)
40.

74 CONTINUED: 74

JEKYLL
(a little sharply)
I'm not asking you to agree with me.
I just have a decision to make, that's
all.

Genres: Drama, Romance
Tone: Serious, Emotional, Contentious

Summary Jekyll's enthusiasm for his experiments and eagerness to marry Beatrice clashes with Sir Charles's disapproval, leading to a tense confrontation. Jekyll's resentment and Sir Charles's insistence on conformity set the stage for future conflicts.

Strengths

Strong character dynamics
Compelling conflict
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly expository
Lack of resolution in the scene

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, making it feel disjointed and lacking in tension.
The dialogue between Jekyll and Sir Charles feels forced and unnatural, with abrupt shifts in tone and emotion.
The transition from Sir Charles expressing his concerns to inviting Jekyll to a concert at the Albert Hall feels abrupt and disconnected.
Jekyll's response to Sir Charles's concerns lacks depth and emotional resonance, making it difficult for the audience to empathize with his character.
The scene fails to effectively convey the emotional stakes and internal conflict that Jekyll is facing, resulting in a lack of engagement from the audience.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify the central conflict of the scene to create a more focused and engaging interaction between Jekyll and Sir Charles.
Develop the dialogue to be more natural and reflective of the characters' emotions and motivations.
Smooth out the transition between Sir Charles expressing his concerns and inviting Jekyll to the concert to create a more cohesive narrative flow.
Enhance Jekyll's response to Sir Charles's concerns by delving deeper into his internal struggle and emotional turmoil.
Add layers of complexity to the scene by exploring the conflicting desires and motivations of both Jekyll and Sir Charles, creating a more dynamic and compelling interaction.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

DR. LANYON
Now, look, Harry - you and I have
been friends for years. I can't agree
with your theories - but that needn't
break up our friendship, you know. I
haven't seen anything of you lately.
(taking his arm)
Come on - let's drop down to the
club and play a rubber of whist. Do
you good.

JEKYLL
(moodily)
I'll walk that far with you...

THEY WALK ON, AS WE

DISSOLVE TO:

87-113 OUT.

75 TRUCKING SHOT - JEKYLL AND LANYON - STREET 75

They are in another part of town, taking a short cut in a
rather dingy section. At this point they cross the entrance
to a narrow mews (alley) and WE HOLD as sounds of a struggle
and cries come from its darkened recess.

GIRL'S VOICE (O.S.)
Let me go, you -! Why you filthy -!
Help -!

Jekyll and Lanyon both look down the mews, then dart o.s.
toward the sound.

76 GROUP SHOT - IN MEWS 76

Jekyll and Lanyon rush into SCENE to find a hulk of a gent
struggling unpleasantly with young girl. The scene is lit by
dim gas light. Jekyll pulls the man off the girl, who drops
to the ground with a moan against a rubbish box or an old
packing case. The gent starts to fight, then sees two against
one, and streaks down the mews with Lanyon and Jekyll in
pursuit, as WE PAN.

77 TWO SHOT - OTHER END OF MEWS 77

As the gent flies in and out of SCENE, Jekyll and Lanyon
stop, as they watch him streak across the street.

(CONTINUED)
41.

77 CONTINUED: 77

JEKYLL
Let him go. Get a cab. I'll see what's
been done.

He hurries back into the mews.

78 TWO SHOT - JEKYLL AND GIRL 78

She is sitting on the rubbish box, straightening her hat and
muttering to herself in comic tearfulness as Jekyll approaches
into SCENE.

GIRL
(to herself)
A nice thing... when a girl can't...
the big...

JEKYLL
(politely)
Did he hurt you?

GIRL
dusting off her dress - hardly
noticing him) It'd take more than a
bloke like that to --
(suddenly sees him
for first time,
impressed by his
looks and attire, in
almost childish
admiration)
Oh..!
(straightening her
hat)
I'll bet I look ever so untidy.

Jekyll can't help but smile, amused by her reaction. Then:

JEKYLL
You're sure you're not hurt?

GIRL
Why... I don't think so - I -
(stands - winces on
one foot)
Oo!

JEKYLL
Ankle?

GIRL
Mm. Twisted.
(sways and catches
his arm)
Do you mind?

(CONTINUED)
42.

78 CONTINUED: 78

JEKYLL
Of course not. An ankle can be very
painful...

GIRL
You're ever so kind.
(feeling her side)
Mm! Me side, too. He bashed a rib,
he did!

JEKYLL
I shouldn't have stopped. I should
have caught him, eh?

GIRL
Oh, no, I mean - I'm so glad you
stopped - if you take my meaning.

JEKYLL
(nodding ahead)
My friend's getting a cab. Can we
drive you anywhere?

GIRL
You're ever so kind.

JEKYLL
Nonsense. Let's try it, shall we?
(they start to walk
toward end of mews
as WE TRUCK WITH
THEM. She limps)
That's the girl.

GIRL
(smiling up at him)
A gent like you shouldn't be bothering
yourself about me, now.

JEKYLL
What sort of a gent doesn't like to
help a pretty girl? Hm?

He says this with casual politeness, but smiles down at her
as he finishes.

GIRL
Oh, now!
(straightening her
hat, flustered)
And me with my hat all about me head!

Jekyll laughs, as we

DISSOLVE TO:

(CONTINUED)
43.

78 CONTINUED: (2) 78

118-121 OUT.

122 THREE SHOT - JEKYLL, GIRL, LANYON - INT. HANSOM CAB - 122
PROCESS

She sits between them. Lanyon is not very pleased with her
voluble presence or with the job of taking her home.

Genres: Drama, Mystery, Thriller
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Mysterious

Summary In a dimly lit alley, Dr. Lanyon attempts to persuade Jekyll to abandon his theories and rekindle their friendship. Amidst their discussion, they witness a man's brutal assault on a young girl. Despite their differences, both men intervene, with Jekyll tending to the injured girl's wounds and offering her a ride home in a cab. Lanyon, initially reluctant, agrees to drive her. Together, they leave the harrowing alley behind, marking a moment of unity and compassion amid the urban darkness.

Strengths

Character development
Emotional depth
Suspenseful tone

Weaknesses

Brief physical conflict may feel out of place

General Critique

The scene starts with a promising setup of a struggle and cries coming from a darkened alley, but the resolution feels rushed and lacks depth.
The interaction between Jekyll and the girl is somewhat superficial and lacks emotional depth or complexity.
The dialogue between Jekyll and the girl feels a bit cliched and lacks authenticity in portraying their interaction.
The transition to the hansom cab scene feels abrupt and could benefit from a smoother transition or a more meaningful connection between the scenes.
There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the characters' emotions and motivations, particularly in Jekyll's decision to help the girl and the dynamics between Jekyll, the girl, and Lanyon in the cab.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more layers to the interaction between Jekyll and the girl to make it more engaging and emotionally resonant.
Explore the characters' inner thoughts and feelings to add depth and complexity to the scene.
Work on creating a more seamless transition between the different parts of the scene to maintain the flow and coherence of the narrative.
Consider adding subtext and nuance to the dialogue to make the interactions more realistic and compelling.
Take the opportunity to further develop the characters and their relationships in this scene to enhance the overall impact and significance of the moment.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

GIRL
... and so he asks me can he walk me
home, he does. And I says yes. When
a girl has to work late at nights,
it's nice to have a bit of company
to see you home...

JEKYLL
(pleasantly, as Lanyon
makes no remark)
Naturally.

GIRL
(now all to Jekyll)
I know what's what. You have to if
you're a barmaid. I like a bit of
fun, as the saying goes. But when a
bloke grabs you sudden-like with
nasty notions in his head, it's time
to put your foot down.
(grabbing her side,
Leaning against
Jekyll) I)
'm sorry to bother you two gents...
ooo!

The cab slows to a stop.

123 FULL SHOT - CAB - EXT. TUKESBURY LANE BOARDING HOUSE 123

As the cab stops, Jekyll gets out first.

JEKYLL
(holding his arms up
to help girl)
Here you are.

As the girl gets down, she collapses on her ankle with a
muffled cry of pain and Jekyll catches her.

GIRL
Ow! It hurts more now -!

JEKYLL
Here -

(CONTINUED)
44.

123 CONTINUED: 123

With this, he picks her up.

DR. LANYON
(slightly impatient)
Can I give you a hand, Harry?

JEKYLL
(cheerily)
I think I can manage.

CONTINUED.

He carries the girl up the stoop to the door, as WE PAN. She
takes a key from her purse and opens the door. They go inside.

124 BOOM SHOT - INT. BOARDING HOUSE - HALL AND STAIRS 124

GIRL
(nodding upstairs)
Second floor - first door on the
right.
(watching Jekyll's
face as he carries
her up)
I'll bet I'm heavy...

JEKYLL
Oh, no.

GIRL
You're ever so strong, aren't you?

In the b.g., below a harridan of a landlady has poked her
head out of the door, and is watching them.

125 CLOSE SHOT - LANDLADY 125

She looks up after them with a knowing smile, lifting an
eyebrow and nodding her satisfaction at Jekyll's appearance.

126 FULL SHOT - GIRL'S DOOR - UPPER HALL 126

JEKYLL
(coming to top of
landing and door)
Here?

GIRL
Uh-huh.

She inserts a key and opens the door. Jekyll carries her in.
45.

127 REVERSE SHOT - INT. ROOM 127

WE ARE SHOOTING over a bed, and Jekyll and the girl's figures
are silhouetted in the door. He comes to the bed and puts
her down.

GIRL
(taking off her cape
or coat)
The light's by the door - if you've
a match.

JEKYLL
Right.

He goes back to the door, and lights the gas jet.

128 FULL SHOT - ROOM - DIFFERENT ANGLE 128

It is the usual dingy rooming house chamber, appointed as of
the era and the girl.... cheap souvenirs - men's pictures
(sailors and soldiers) tacked unframed on the walls, etc.
Jekyll puts his hat and stick down on a chair, and then closes
the door. WE PAN him over to her as she looks up at him,
half shy, half excitedly expectant.

JEKYLL
(calmly)
You better let down your blouse.

GIRL
(a little "miffed" at
the calm approach)
Why?

JEKYLL
(easily)
Don't you want me to have a look at
you?

GIRL
(coyly)
I don't know. You're lookin', ain't
you?

JEKYLL
But, your side. I thought you --

Then with a giggle, she quickly peels off her blouse, (or
lets down her shirt-waist) revealing herself in a fluffy
thin top slip of the period. She looks up at him, trying to
"play up". She pulls her feet upon the bed, under her.

(CONTINUED)
46.

128 CONTINUED: 128

GIRL
(softly)
You aren't half a fast one, aren't
you?

Jekyll looks puzzled for a second, then bursts out laughing.

JEKYLL
(between chuckles)
I'm sorry. Let's both understand
this, shall we? My friend and I are
physicians.

GIRL
Physicians...?

JEKYLL
(nodding)
Doctors.

GIRL
Doctors?
(suddenly laughs
delightedly at the
situation)
Go on! I thought you were just a
couple of toffs!

Genres: Drama, Mystery
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Mysterious

Summary A barmaid shares her experience of being harassed by a man. Dr. Jekyll helps her home and examines her injury. The barmaid is surprised to learn that he is a doctor and tries to flirt with him.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Character development
Mystery elements

Weaknesses

Some cliched dialogue
Predictable character interactions

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, as it meanders without a clear focus or conflict.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, lacking depth and authenticity in the interactions between the characters.
The visual descriptions are minimal and do not create a vivid or engaging setting for the scene.
The character interactions are superficial and do not reveal much about the characters' motivations or emotions.
The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt and disjointed, making it difficult for the audience to follow the narrative flow.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify the purpose of the scene and ensure that it contributes to the overall plot and character development.
Revise the dialogue to make it more realistic and engaging, with deeper insights into the characters' personalities and relationships.
Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more immersive and vivid setting for the scene.
Develop the character interactions to reveal more about their motivations, conflicts, and emotions.
Smooth out the transition from the previous scene to this one to maintain a cohesive narrative flow.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

JEKYLL
(laughing, too)
No. Haven't the leisure.

GIRL
(throwing back her
head, laughing)
Oh, dear me! -- And here I
thought -!

They stop laughing and look at each other.

JEKYLL
(quickly, easily again)
Well, I'm glad to see you're not
really hurt...

He smiles down at her, with a chiding look, then starts to
turn away.

GIRL
(quickly)
Oh, but I am, Doctor - truly -

(CONTINUED)
47.

128 CONTINUED: (2) 128

JEKYLL
(still kidding, turning
back)
I better send you to the hospital,
hm?

GIRL
(offering her side)
No, look - here - feel -

Jekyll adopts a mock serious manner and feels her side.

JEKYLL
Here -?

GIRL
("wincing")
O-o! Yes -

JEKYLL
Hm - I thought so - a transossis
pactoralis...

GIRL
(puzzled, alarmed)
What's that mean?

JEKYLL
(into her eyes)
That means your eyes are twin pools
of desire...

GIRL
(softly, slowly,
charmed)
Aw, Doctor... that's neat. You can
say the words, you can..!

JEKYLL
("surprised")
But doesn't this still hurt?

She looks down to see he is prodding her side.

GIRL
(quickly, wincing)
Hm? Oh - yes - o-o -!

JEKYLL
(straightening up,
with a chuckle)
It'll be all right in the morning...

(CONTINUED)
48.

128 CONTINUED: (3) 128

She quickly kicks off her shoe, peels off her stocking, holds
the garter in her hand, a little rubber-tape ringlet with a
gew-gaw buckle.

GIRL
(as she does so, softly)
But look here - my ankle - don't you
think you ought to look at that?

JEKYLL
(smiling, shaking his
head)
No.
(then points to where
garter has left a
red mark above her
knee)
But I'll tell you one thing, young
lady. You wear that garter too tight.
Bad. Stops the circulation.

The girl looks down and then looks up at him, pathetically
happy that he is this solicituous about her at least. She
rises and grabs his hands.

GIRL
There! You see now? You did find
something. You are my doctor, aren't
you?
(as he only smiles at
her, then:)
I ought to pay you a fee...

JEKYLL
(a little caught)
I haven't presented any bill...

GIRL
(handing him garter)
How about this? To begin with...
(as he looks at it)
Not that it's enough.

JEKYLL
Some people don't pay half as much --

GIRL
It don't seem near enough to me -!

With this she puts her arms about his neck and kisses him.
He half returns the embrace.
49.

128A FULL SHOT - ROOM 128A

The door opens with a simultaneous knock, and Lanyon stands
there.

DR. LANYON
Harry -? Is this -?
(seeing them break
apart)
Oh... sorry -
(a little coldly)
Come along, will you? It's getting
late.

He turns and we HEAR him walk down steps o.s.

128B TWO SHOT - GIRL AND JEKYLL 128B

He looks after Lanyon, frowning a little, then chuckles to
himself and shakes his head. He picks up his hat and stick,
walks toward the door. The girl follows him. He automatically
puts garter in his pocket.

GIRL
(puzzled)
You - you ain't really goin' - just
because he says that -

JEKYLL
No. But I have to go -

GIRL
But, look here - don't you understand?
I ain't no--

JEKYLL
(warmly)
I know that. You're a girl with her
heart just where it ought to be -
it's just a little too generous,
that's all.
(patting her arm)
-- So because you're a nice pretty
girl - just be a little smarter about
the company you pick from now on. Hm -
why not?

GIRL
Well, but -- You're here, ain't you?

JEKYLL
I shouldn't be, though. If you knew
me, you'd know I really don't want
to be. You see --

Genres: Drama, Romance
Tone: Playful, Intimate, Serious

Summary Jekyll and the Girl engage in playful banter that turns flirtatious as Jekyll examines her injured side. Their moment is interrupted by Dr. Lanyon's arrival, prompting Jekyll to reluctantly leave with him. The Girl is left confused and disappointed by his departure.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Character development
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Lack of high stakes
Potential pacing issues

General Critique

The scene lacks depth and emotional resonance, as the interaction between Jekyll and the Girl feels superficial and contrived.
The dialogue between Jekyll and the Girl is cliched and lacks authenticity, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
The transition from playful banter to a sudden kiss feels forced and lacks proper build-up or emotional tension.
The arrival of Dr. Lanyon interrupts the moment between Jekyll and the Girl, disrupting the flow of the scene and leaving the audience with an unresolved interaction.
The scene could benefit from more nuanced character development and a deeper exploration of the emotions and motivations of Jekyll and the Girl.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more depth to the conversation between Jekyll and the Girl, focusing on genuine emotions and meaningful interactions.
Work on developing a more organic and believable progression from playful banter to a moment of intimacy between Jekyll and the Girl.
Explore the aftermath of the kiss and the arrival of Dr. Lanyon to create a more impactful and cohesive scene.
Focus on building tension and emotional depth to engage the audience and create a more compelling and authentic interaction between the characters.
Consider revising the dialogue to make it more realistic and reflective of the characters' personalities and motivations.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

(CONTINUED)
50.

128B CONTINUED: 128B

The girl lifts her head quickly, stung.

GIRL
Oh! Well, I picks only them as wants
my company. I'll tell you that!

Her lip starts to quiver. Whatever her carefree loves, she
senses she is the woman scorned. Her eyes start to flash.

JEKYLL
(knowing it is useless
to make her understand)
I'm sorry. It's my fault. I should
have --

GIRL
Whatcha sorry about? I'm not!

JEKYLL
(one last try)
Come, now. Let's say we wore both
foolish and it was all in fun - and
wish each other luck the next time
we take a drink, hm?

As he says this, he puts out his hand. She ignores it.

GIRL
(starts to laugh)
I suppose it was all in fun when you
kissed me?

JEKYLL
(ruefully)
Yes. I have it coming to me, my dear.
(going out door)
But anyhow - good night and good
luck. Always.

GIRL
(slamming door on him)
You wasn't all in fun then - I know
that!

She starts laughing, tears of rage in her eyes.

129-133 OUT.

134 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - EXT. DOOR - HALL 134

He hears her laughing.

GIRL'S VOICE (O.S.)
Next time you look at a girl, make
up your mind, mister!

(CONTINUED)
51.

134 CONTINUED: 134

He shakes his head again, wondering how he got in the whole
mess, and starts down the stairs.

135 CLOSE SHOT - GIRL - INT. ROOM 135

She hears his footsteps go away down the stairs. She turns
and WE PAN her back into the room. She is puzzled and furious
at the same time. She slumps down on the bed. Her expression
falls. Then she wipes all thought of him from her mind and
starts to whistle, taking off her other stocking as we

DISSOLVE TO:

136 TWO SHOT - JEKYLL AND LANYON - INT. CAB PROCESS 136

Lanyon is sitting quietly looking ahead. Jekyll is studying
him, grinning.

JEKYLL
(finally)
Oh come now, John - don't get that
stuffy look. The lady wasn't injured,
and neither was I - nor anyone else.

DR. LANYON
I admit she might be a tempting little
trick - in an off moment.

JEKYLL
What do you mean.. "off moment"?

DR. LANYON
(sardonically)
Yours. According to your theory, I
imagine that graphic tableau I just
witnessed was the momentary triumph
of the evil in your soul over the
good. Correct?

JEKYLL
(after a second's
thought)
Why...yes. Not quite a triumph...
(with a serious little
smile)
But it was an attack.
(then quickly)
- yet one that would have been
repulsed without your presence, John,
I assure you.

DR. LANYON
Wouldn't you run less personal risk
if you confined your experiments to
your laboratory?

(CONTINUED)
52.

136 CONTINUED: 136

JEKYLL
Well, the laboratory's where you'll
find me from tonight on -
(looking ahead, almost
to himself)
... until I get what I'm looking
for...

Lanyon notices his determined look, shrugs with a little
shake of his head, as we

DISSOLVE TO:

137 OUT. 137

137A FULL SHOT - INT. LABORATORY - LATER 137A

Jekyll is standing by the two cages, his cape and hat still
on. He peers at the occupants. His brow is furrowed.

137B CLOSE SHOT - HIS ANGLE, THE CAGES - 137B

The rabbit and the rat are more or less exactly as when he
put them in the cages earlier in the evening. Jekyll's hand
comes into the rabbit's cage. The rabbit sniffs at it. As
his hand approaches the rat, it tears around the cage wildly,
then bites at his hand.

137C CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 137C

His face sets with determination. He throws off his cape and
hat and WE PAN him to his work table. He starts mixing various
potions, lighting burners, etc., getting out vials, and
powders, as we

DISSOLVE TO:

NOTE: The following series of dissolves denote passage of
time and the fury of incessant work on Jekyll's part.

137D (FORMERLY #88) CLOSE SHOT - POTION - INT. LAB 137D

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Tone: Intense, Controversial, Emotional, Tense, Mysterious

Summary Jekyll apologizes for his actions with the girl, but she rejects his apology. Jekyll and Lanyon discuss Jekyll's behavior and Jekyll insists that he will continue his experiments. Jekyll returns to his laboratory and begins working furiously, determined to find what he's looking for.

Strengths

Intense conflict
Emotional depth
Compelling concept exploration
Engaging dialogue

Weaknesses

Some repetitive elements in character interactions
Potential for confusion in the barmaid subplot

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear resolution to the conflict between Jekyll and the Girl, leaving the audience hanging with no closure.
The dialogue between Jekyll and the Girl feels a bit forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
The transition from the Girl's anger to her sudden change in mood and whistling on the bed feels abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the emotional continuity of the scene.
The interaction between Jekyll and Lanyon in the cab feels a bit superficial and could benefit from more depth and nuance in their conversation.
The scene could use more visual cues to enhance the emotional impact and engagement of the audience.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a resolution to the conflict between Jekyll and the Girl, providing closure for the audience.
Work on developing more authentic and meaningful dialogue between Jekyll and the Girl to deepen their interaction and make it more engaging.
Smooth out the transition between the Girl's anger and her change in mood to maintain the emotional flow of the scene.
Enhance the conversation between Jekyll and Lanyon in the cab by adding more depth and complexity to their interaction.
Include more visual cues and details to create a more immersive and emotionally resonant scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Jekyll's face is behind it, intense. Its bubbles die out.
Jekyll's expression falls. Jekyll starts figuring ingredient
combinations on a pad.

DISSOLVE TO:

137E (FORMERLY SCENE #89) CLOSE SHOT - PAD - INT. LAB 137E

Jekyll's hand writes a formula, furiously. He scratches it
out. Tears off sheet. Starts writing again.

DISSOLVE TO:
53.

137F FULL SHOT - LAB 137F

Two men are carrying a cot down the stairs under Poole's
direction. Poole looks apprehensively at Jekyll, who is
working at the table. Poole carries blankets and sheets.

DISSOLVE TO:

137G (FORMER SCENE 90) CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - INT. LAB 137G

He is in work clothes now, a smock on. He wears a growth of
a couple of days' beard. He is trying another mixture.

DISSOLVE TO:

137H (FORMER SCENE 96) CLOSE SHOT - POOLE - INT. LAB 137H

He is pulling curtains aside to let in the morning light. WE
PAN HIM as he picks up a tray of food, and carries it to
Jekyll, who takes no notice. Poole puts it down with a sigh
and withdraws.

DISSOLVE TO:

137J (FORMER SCENE 97) CLOSE SHOT - TRAY OF FOOD - INT. 137J

LAB WE PAN up and Poole is looking at it. It is untouched.
He crosses to where Jekyll is asleep in the cot, exhausted,
some notes in his hand. Poole gently covers him up with a
throw.

DISSOLVE TO:

137K (FORMER SCENE 98) CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL'S HANDS - MIXING - 137K

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Tone: Intense, Mysterious, Dark

Summary Jekyll immerses himself in relentless experimentation, neglecting his well-being as time elapses. Poole's efforts to provide sustenance and rest go unheeded, as Jekyll's obsession consumes him.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Compelling character development
High stakes

Weaknesses

Potential lack of clarity in certain character motivations

General Critique

The scene lacks clear direction and purpose, leaving the audience confused about Jekyll's motivations and actions.
There is a lack of emotional depth and character development in the scene, making it difficult for the audience to connect with Jekyll's struggles.
The repetitive nature of Jekyll trying different mixtures and ingredients becomes monotonous and fails to engage the audience.
The transition between different shots and actions feels disjointed and does not flow smoothly, disrupting the continuity of the scene.
The scene lacks a clear climax or resolution, leaving the audience with a sense of dissatisfaction and confusion.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Add more depth to Jekyll's character by showing his internal struggles and emotional turmoil more explicitly.
Provide clearer context for Jekyll's experiments and the significance of his actions in the overall story.
Introduce more dynamic elements to the scene to create tension and keep the audience engaged.
Improve the transitions between shots to create a more cohesive and seamless flow of the scene.
Consider adding a clear goal or objective for Jekyll in the scene to drive the narrative forward and create a sense of purpose.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LAB.

DISSOLVE TO:

137L (FORMER SCENE 99) CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL'S FACE - INT. LAB 137L

He is watching, his face tired and haggard.

DISSOLVE TO:

137M (FORMER SCENE 101) CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - INT. LAB 137M

His expression is now more strained than ever. He is in his
shirt-sleeves, with open neck - another growth of beard. He
is mixing some stuff in crucible. He pulls it out quickly.
Measures some out in a syringe, dumps it into a cooling vat.
Then he goes quickly to cages with it AS WE PAN.
54.

137N CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - AT CAGES 137N

He reaches o.s. into the rabbit's cage and administers
syringe. Then repeats the action in the rat's cage. He
watches, and suddenly his expression grows elated. He looks
from one cage to another. He starts to put his bare hand
into the rabbit's cage.

137P CLOSE SHOT - RABBIT - INT. CAGE 137P

As Jekyll's hand enters slowly the rabbit is tearing about
wildly. It suddenly backs up into a corner, and then lunges
at Jekyll's hand.

137Q CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 137Q

He withdraws his hand with a gleeful explanation. Tries it
again a couple of times. Then he looks in rat's cage.

137R CLOSE SHOT - INT. RAT'S CAGE 137R

The rat seems almost dead. Then it gets up, shakes itself,
and as Jekyll's hand comes slowly into the cage, the rat
sniffs it. Jekyll's hand lifts it up. It does not struggle.

137S CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 137S

as he holds the rat, a look of triumph comes over his face.
He strokes the rat, fondling it to be sure of the result.
Then he quickly puts the rat back, and WE PAN HIM as he darts
to the cabinet, takes out his leather vial case, brings it
to the table, and starts pouring contents of the container
below the retort into a new vial, his expression jubilantly
excited, as we WIPE TO: [Section details]

137T FULL SHOT - INT. ALBERT HALL - BOX 137T

O.s. we hear the symphony being played. Beatrix, Sir Charles
and Lanyon are seated in a tier box as WE DOLLY IN CLOSE.
Jekyll's empty chair is in evidence. Beatrix seems very
unhappy. Sir Charles looks about at the empty chair, then
looks at his watch. Beatrix notices this, as does Lanyon.
They turn to each other.

137U CLOSE SHOT - LANYON AND BEATRIX 137U

BEATRIX
(sotto voce)
I'm worried, John. It's not like him
not to send any word.

(CONTINUED)
55.

137U CONTINUED: 137U

DR. LANYON
(reassuringly)
He'll be along.

DISSOLVE TO:

137V PAN SHOT - JEKYLL - INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 137V

It is dimly lit, quiet. WE PAN JEKYLL as he hurries past the
entrance from the b.g. and rounds a corner. WE HOLD as he
stops. A nurse is leading Mrs. Higgins past him. She is
sobbing pathetically. Fenwick, the interne, is standing in
the b.g., closing the door. Mrs. Higgins does not notice
Jekyll. She goes by with the nurse. Jekyll's expression falls.
He turns quickly to Fenwick who comes up to him.

JEKYLL
Look here. Higgins isn't -?

FENWICK
(as Jekyll stops)
Yes, sir. Just now. Cerebral
hemorrhage.

Jekyll looks as though he'd been struck. He glances down at
his case, as his anticipation leaves him. Without a word, he
turns and WE PAN HIM back around the corner as we

DISSOLVE TO:

137W GROUP SHOT - EXT. HOSPITAL ENTRANCE 137W

The nurse is condoling Mrs. Higgins as Jekyll comes out.
Jekyll's carriage is waiting there. Jekyll is pre-occupied
in gloom.

NURSE
(to the sobbing Mrs.
Higgins)
There - there now -

MRS. HIGGINS
(seeing Jekyll)
Oh, Dr. Jekyll -!

JEKYLL
Oh... I'm sorry, Mrs. Higgins...

MRS. HIGGINS
(between sobs)
Maybe it's for best, sir. That -
that wasn't my Sam back there. It -
it was as if the Evil One had crept
into his heart - poor Sam...

(CONTINUED)
56.

137W CONTINUED: 137W

JEKYLL
(escorting her to
carriage)
Hobson - take Mrs. Higgins wherever
she wishes to go. I'll walk.

HOBSON
Yes, sir.

MRS. HIGGINS
(now in carriage)
Ht-Thank you, Dr. Jekyll...

JEKYLL
(patting her hand,
absently)
Goodnight, Mrs. Higgins.....

He walks o.s. and the carriage starts up as we,

DISSOLVE TO:

137X (FORMER SC. #42) MED. SHOT - ENTRANCE TO WEST GATE - PARK 137X

We are inside the park, SHOOTING OUT. Mr. Weller, a fat jovial
park-keeper in visored hat, is just about to lock the gate
as Jekyll appears.

MR. WELLER
Ah! Good evening, Dr. Jekyll. Just
about to lock up!

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Tone: Tense, Dark, Mysterious, Gloomy

Summary Dr. Jekyll conducts experiments on animals, elated by the results but grief-stricken when his patient dies. Lost in despair, he wanders through a dimly lit park, his future clouded in uncertainty.

Strengths

Effective tension-building
Intriguing concept
Strong thematic elements

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel heavy-handed
Lack of clarity in certain character motivations

General Critique

The scene starts with Jekyll in a tired and haggard state, which sets the tone for his exhaustion and desperation.
The transition to Jekyll mixing substances in the crucible and administering them to the animals is well-paced and creates a sense of anticipation.
The elation on Jekyll's face when he observes the effects of his formula on the animals is effectively portrayed, showing his excitement and triumph.
The interaction with the rabbit and the rat highlights Jekyll's experimentation and the potential consequences of his actions.
The scene effectively conveys Jekyll's obsession with his experiments and his relentless pursuit of his goals.
The shift to the hospital corridor adds a layer of emotional depth with the news of Mr. Higgins' death, contrasting Jekyll's scientific pursuits with the human cost of his work.
The interaction with Mrs. Higgins adds a touch of humanity to Jekyll's character, showing his empathy and concern for others.
The transition to the park with Mr. Weller provides a sense of normalcy amidst Jekyll's tumultuous experiments and personal struggles.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual cues to enhance the tension and drama of Jekyll's experiments, such as close-ups of the animals' reactions or Jekyll's expressions.
Explore Jekyll's internal conflict more deeply, showcasing the moral dilemmas he faces in his pursuit of scientific discovery.
Introduce more dialogue or inner monologue to provide insight into Jekyll's thoughts and emotions during the experimentation process.
Consider incorporating symbolic elements or motifs to underscore the themes of duality, morality, and the consequences of unchecked ambition.
Ensure a seamless transition between the different settings and emotional beats to maintain the flow and coherence of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Jekyll comes in and stands in thought a moment, as Mr. Weller
locks the gate. Then Weller joins him and WE TRUCK WITH THEM
as they walk.

MR. WELLER
(chattily)
I'll step along with you if you're
going to the East Gate. Wonderful
nights we're having - eh, sir?

JEKYLL
(suddenly)
Mr. Weller - supposing you had a
balloon that would carry a man to
Mars - and the pilot you'd picked
out disappeared - would you get in
the balloon yourself and cast off?

(CONTINUED)
57.

137X CONTINUED: 137X

MR. WELLER
(enjoying this as a
joke)
Well now - that's a difficult one.
But I think if I had a balloon as
would carry me there - and back,
mark you - I think I'd do it. Might
get me away from the mother-in-law
for a while!
(laughs uproariously)
How's that for an answer, Dr. Jekyll?

JEKYLL
(almost to himself -
with resolve)
Fair enough, Mr. Weller -- fair
enough....

DISSOLVE TO:

138 OUT. 138

139 FULL SHOT - INT. LAB - LATER 139

Jekyll is seated at his table, writing a letter. A full retort
of liquid is bubbling near him. His face is strained,
purposeful, his evening coat off, his hair a little
dishevelled. Jekyll looks up from his writing, examines the
content of the retort, turns the burner a little lower. Then
goes back to his writing.

140 CLOSE SHOT - PAGE OF NOTE. 140

JEKYLL'S HAND IS WRITING:

"because there is no other way to prove the true value of my
experiments....

(HIS PEN STARTS WRITING HERE)

"But remember, my darling, in case of my death...."

On this last word, with a crash of musical chord, we

QUICK DISSOLVE TO:

140A CLOSE SHOT - BEATRIX - INT. HER BEDROOM 140A

She is asleep, the moonlight coming across her face through
the window o.s. Suddenly her eyes go wide, and she sits bolt
upright as WE PULL back. She looks around the room.

BEATRIX
(as though someone were in the room)
Yes -? What --?

(CONTINUED)
58.

140A CONTINUED: 140A

She thinks for a second, then quickly gets out of bed, hurries
to the closet as WE PAN and starts pulling out some attire,
as we

DISSOLVE TO:

140B FULL SHOT - FRONT HALL - SIR CHARLES' HOUSE 140B

Beatrix, now dressed, tip-toes down the stairs and silently
opens the door to the street.

DISSOLVE TO:

141 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - INT. LAB 141

The burner is now off. Jekyll is pouring the contents, which
have dripped from the retort into a container, from the
container into a vial. It smokes and swirls strangely. He
holds the vial a second. He looks at the letter to Beatrix,
leaning in a prominent position on the table.

142 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL AT MIRROR 142

Holding the vial, he examines his face, feels his skin,
turning his head. He starts to raise the vial to his lips.
Then he gets another thought. WE PULL BACK AND PAN LEFT AND
RIGHT IN LONG SHOTS as he puts vial back on table, runs to
the drapes at the back of the lab, pulls them to, over the
windows, then dashes up the stairs and locks the door. He
comes down again, approaches the vial, slowly, picks it up.
For a moment, he looks straight ahead into the CAMERA, as
though into the future. Then down the vial with one long
gulp. For a second, nothing happens. Then he grips his throat
in a violent convulsion, he chokes, groans, and gags. He can
hardly breathe. Slowly, his face starts to change into a
haggard and horrible caricature of himself. He spins around
a couple of times, then falls to the floor, writhing. THE
CAMERA ZOOMS down into his body, and is blacked out, as we,

DISSOLVE TO:

A142 SERIES OF STATIC DISSOLVES A142

These to show the tortured metamorphosis in the splitting of
Jekyll's soul: In a spinning maelstrom of odd mechanical
whirring sounds, rasping and cacophonous noises and odd shapes
come the faces and voices of the following:

1. Heath's Voice: "I can't allow it, Jekyll."

2. Mrs. Weymouth's Voice: "Vicious - filthy - indecent."

3. Jekyll's Voice: "... and let it destroy itself in its own
degradation."

(CONTINUED)
59.

A142 CONTINUED: A142

4. Courtney's Voice: "... I hesitate to say what the Medical
Council would..."

5. Beatrix's Voice: "There's nothing evil in that, is there?"

6. Sir Charles' Voice: "things no gentlewoman should
understand!

7. Bishop's Voice: "Come, come - my dear doctor - now you're
invading my territory."

8. Girl's Voice: ".. I'll add this for good measure."

It ends in a weird sighing moan and far away laughter, as we -

Genres: Drama, Horror, Sci-Fi
Tone: Intense, Dark, Mysterious, Foreboding

Summary Dr. Jekyll, grappling with his inner conflict, seeks Mr. Weller's opinion on taking a risky journey. As Jekyll contemplates his choices, he pens a letter expressing his intentions to Beatrix. Back in his lab, Jekyll's resolve solidifies as he pours a mysterious substance into a vial. Consumed by determination, he drinks the contents, triggering a violent transformation into a grotesque version of himself. The scene culminates in Jekyll's agony as he writhes on the floor.

Strengths

Intense emotional impact
Complex character development
Exploration of deep themes

Weaknesses

Potential for confusion with the rapid shifts in tone and focus

General Critique

The scene starts with a light-hearted conversation between Jekyll and Mr. Weller, which abruptly transitions to Jekyll's contemplation of a serious and existential question about taking risks. The sudden shift in tone may be jarring for the audience and could benefit from a smoother transition.
The visual description of Jekyll's actions in the laboratory is detailed and vivid, but the emotional depth of his character could be further explored. Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue to convey Jekyll's inner turmoil and conflict.
The scene introduces elements of suspense and foreshadowing with Beatrix's mysterious awakening and Jekyll's transformation, but the transition between these moments could be more seamless to enhance the tension and intrigue.
The use of dissolves and visual effects to depict Jekyll's transformation is effective in creating a sense of unease and anticipation. However, the impact of this pivotal moment could be heightened with more emphasis on Jekyll's emotional state and the consequences of his actions.
The inclusion of voices representing various characters from Jekyll's life adds depth to the scene and hints at the internal struggles he faces. Expanding on these voices and their significance could provide a deeper insight into Jekyll's psyche.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider refining the transition between the light-hearted conversation and Jekyll's contemplative moment to maintain a cohesive tone throughout the scene.
Explore Jekyll's internal conflict and emotional journey more explicitly through dialogue or inner thoughts to engage the audience on a deeper level.
Enhance the seamless flow between Beatrix's awakening, Jekyll's transformation, and the subsequent actions in the laboratory to build suspense and maintain the audience's interest.
Focus on Jekyll's emotional and physical transformation in the laboratory to emphasize the gravity of his decisions and the consequences of his experiments.
Further develop the significance of the voices representing different characters in Jekyll's life to provide a nuanced portrayal of his inner struggles and external influences.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

DISSOLVE TO:

150 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - FACE DOWN ON FLOOR 150

His back is to the CAMERA (or is it Jekyll?). We ask as WE
PAN UP WITH HIM, his back like an animal's in a crouch. The
top of his head is strangely elongated, his ears are pointed.
As yet we do not see his face but FOLLOW HIM as he slowly
shuffles, gasping and grunting to the mirror. There over his
shoulder, we get a look at his face for the first time. It
is hideous in its transformation into Evil, yet withal
containing a strange fascinating Pan-like quality. At first
he starts, as though an animal looking in the mirror for the
first time. Then he peers closer. And he starts to laugh,
slowly, softly at first, then mounting to loud yelps.

JEKYLL
(into mirror - like
eyeing a work of
great art)
Look at you... look at you... what
beautiful consumate evil!
(shouting exultantly)
There you are! And I made you! What
a rainbow of unspeakable colors could
you paint the world's horizon if I
turned you loose!
(laughs louder,
triumphantly now)
There it is, Sir Charles! Look at
it, John Lanyon! Show this to the
Medical Council, Dr. Courtney!

JEKYLL
(continued)
Hypocrites! Fools! Blind men! Deny
what's in your souls, will you? You
can't deny that!

(CONTINUED)
60.

150 CONTINUED: 150

Then WE PAN HIM as he capers about the room, leaping and
stretching and jumping up and down like a faun, laughing all
the time. O.s. there is a knock on the door which he doesn't
hear.

151 CLOSE SHOT - EXT. LAB - DOOR TOWARD HOUSE 151

Inside the laughter comes over the SCENE. Poole, in his
dressing gown, is listening. He reacts to laughter, then
starts banging on the door, trying to open it.

POOLE
(in great alarm)
Dr. Jekyll - Dr. Jekyll! What's
happening, sir? Are you all right?

152 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - INT. LAB 152

He stops capering as he hears the banging on the door, alert
as a wild animal.

JEKYLL
Eh? Who's there? Who is it?

POOLE'S VOICE
It's Poole, sir! Dr. Jekyll - is
that you, sir?

The banging continues. Jekyll looks wildly about, then sees
vials on the table. He hurriedly starts mixing them in another
potion.

JEKYLL
Just a moment, now!

153 CLOSE SHOT - POOLE - EXT. LAB DOOR 153

When he hears the silence, he gets even more worried.

POOLE
Who is that in there? Dr. Jekyll -
answer me, sir! Dr. Jekyll --!

He shoves his weight against the door, cannot budge it, then
starts o.s. toward the house when he is called back by
footsteps on the stairs. He waits a little warily, as they
come toward the door. The door opens quickly. Dr. Jekyll
stands there, his natural self. He is pale, perspiring,
breathing heavily.

JEKYLL
(trying to be calm)
Yes, Poole.

(CONTINUED)
61.

153 CONTINUED: 153

POOLE
(stammering)
Why, sir - I - I'm sorry, sir - I
heard a frightful noise -and a strange
voice - and - and I thought something
had happened, sir.

JEKYLL
No... it was quite - all right, Poole.
There was someone here. He - he was
a friend of mine. A - er - a... Mr.
Hyde. He was a bit - well, under the
weather - rather obstreperous. I got
him out by the back door.

POOLE
Oh, I see, sir.
(then, back to the
servant again)
Miss Beatrix is here, sir.

JEKYLL
(hit between the eyes)
Miss Beatrix.... alone?

POOLE
(re-assuringly)
I've shown her to the consulting
room, sir.

JEKYLL
Tell - tell Miss Beatrix I shall be
there at once.

POOLE
Very good, sir.

Jekyll closes the door, as Poole exits o.s.

154 FULL SHOT - LAB 154

Jekyll comes down the stairs in the b.g. He is stunned by
this announcement from Poole. Mechanically, dazed, he starts
putting on his tail coat. Then with a sudden rush of thought,
as WE PAN, he rushes to the mirror again, examines his face
to see if any of the awful evil is left. He feels his cheek,
his brow, his ear. He covers his face with his hand, in
revulsion at what he had seen earlier. Then he looks at
himself again.

(CONTINUED)
62.

154 CONTINUED: 154

Genres: Drama, Horror, Thriller
Tone: Dark, Intense, Mysterious, Tense

Summary In the depths of his laboratory, Dr. Jekyll undergoes a sinister metamorphosis into Hyde, reveling in his malevolent appearance. As Poole, the butler, attempts to enter the room, he is met with silence. Hyde ignores Poole's pleas, mixing a potion that returns him to his original form. Pale and disheveled, Jekyll emerges, startled by Poole's announcement of Miss Beatrix's arrival. Mechanically, he dons his tailcoat and rushes to the mirror, seeking reassurance that no trace of Hyde remains.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Effective portrayal of transformation
Deep exploration of themes

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly dramatic
Lack of clarity in certain character motivations

General Critique

The scene effectively portrays Jekyll's transformation into Hyde and his reveling in his evil reflection, showcasing his descent into darkness.
The dialogue and actions of Jekyll convey his inner conflict between good and evil, as well as his obsession with his experiments.
The tension and suspense are well-maintained throughout the scene, creating a sense of foreboding and impending danger.
The visual descriptions of Jekyll's transformation and his interactions with Poole effectively convey the eerie and unsettling atmosphere of the scene.
The scene effectively sets up the conflict between Jekyll's dual nature and his struggle to control his darker impulses.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue from Jekyll to further explore his conflicted emotions and motivations.
Enhance the visual elements to emphasize the transformation of Jekyll into Hyde, creating a more dramatic and impactful moment.
Explore the relationship between Jekyll and Poole further to add depth to their interactions and highlight the tension between them.
Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene and enhance the atmosphere of suspense and dread.
Focus on building up the suspense and tension leading up to Jekyll's transformation, creating a more impactful and chilling reveal.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

JEKYLL
(muttering through
his teeth some dim
remembered quotation)
"... if once this thing is born again,
Decapitate it - e're it fouls the
air..."

Then he quickly turns from the mirror, crosses and picks up
the letter he has written Beatrix, tears it into small pieces,
throws it in the waste-basket, and adjusting his coat, starts
up the stairs. Half way up he hesitates, then proceeds more
slowly, as we

DISSOLVE TO:

155 FULL SHOT - INT. JEKYLL'S CONSULTING ROOM - BEATRIX 155

The room is much as we would expect... a desk, consultation
chair, many shelves of medical books, a few standard
instruments in a case. Beatrix is seated, nervous and anxious.
She turns quickly, as Jekyll opens the door from the hall,
in the b.g. Jekyll's attitude is one of hesitancy at first,
as though awaiting some feared reaction from her.

BEATRIX
(quickly)
Then you're not -? Harry, what's the -
?
(on this she is
starting over towards
him, then stops,
looking at him - his
attitude is tense,
strained as though
she knew something.
Then she gives him a
puzzled little smile,
feels her temple)
I can't explain why... but I had a
strange feeling you were going away -
without ever seeing me again ...
isn't that silly?
(she slowly sinks
down in a chair,
looks about the room,
then up at him with
an embarrassed,
nervous little laugh)
It - it was silly, wasn't it? Because
here you are - and here I am...

(CONTINUED)
63.

155 CONTINUED: 155

JEKYLL
(feeling he must say
something)
I had to go to the hospital, Bee....
the man died.

BEATRIX
Oh, I'm sorry... maybe that's what I
felt. But it was just something that --
(then, with another
little laugh)
Why - I had no reason to come at
all!

She rises again, automatically. Jekyll takes her hand with a
sudden gesture.

JEKYLL
Oh, yes, Bee - yes!

BEATRIX
(with a soft smile)
You're glad I'm here then?

Jekyll sweeps her into his arms. Holds her almost desperately
close. In this gesture, her cape falls to the floor.

JEKYLL
Glad? I'd have come to you, I think -
if you hadn't -- I mean - tonight,
somehow, I missed you more than
ever...

BEATRIX
(her lips against his
cheek)
When I'm in this house, I won't let
you waste your nights in that stuffy
old laboratory... You know that,
don't you - hmmm...?

JEKYLL
(almost to himself)
You'll never be out of sight -!

He holds her for a second, then:

BEATRIX
(turning her face to
his)
I don't want to go home....

JEKYLL
Bee....

(CONTINUED)
64.

155 CONTINUED: (2) 155

BEATRIX
You said it wasn't evil for us to --
please, don't send me away now....

He looks full in her eyes for a second, then they kiss
passionately.

BEATRIX
(ecstatic)
Oh, my love -!
(then she stops, and
withdraws from him a
little, as her eyes
catch something o.s.
Jekyll turns too.
Beatrix's chin lifts
in defiance. Then,
quietly:)
Yes, Father....?

WE PAN OVER slowly to pick up Sir Charles standing in the
open door-way. Behind him in the hall is Poole, nervously
wringing his hands. Poole ducks o.s., as Sir Charles comes
slowly into the room, as WE PAN, and confronts Beatrix and
Jekyll. Without a word, he leans down, picks up Beatrix's
cape and hands it to her.

SIR CHARLES
(in a quiet, cold
voice to Jekyll)
I am very grateful for the anxiety
you caused us this evening -
(to Beatrix)
I was unable to sleep myself.

JEKYLL
Sir Charles, I asked Beatrix to come
here tonight --

BEATRIX
(reproving him)
Harry - you --

JEKYLL
(gently)
Bee --
(to Sir Charles)
Because I --

SIR CHARLES
(to Jekyll)
Apparently you didn't consider our
talk the other evening very seriously?

Genres: Drama, Romance, Horror
Tone: Tense, Passionate, Anxious, Defiant, Cold

Summary Jekyll and Beatrix share a passionate encounter, unaware that Sir Charles is present. Sir Charles disapprovingly chastises Jekyll for causing his daughter anxiety and sleeplessness, and demands that she return home with him.

Strengths

Strong character development
Emotional depth
Tension and conflict

Weaknesses

Some dialogue could be more impactful

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, with Jekyll's actions and dialogue feeling disjointed and lacking coherence.
The emotional tension between Jekyll and Beatrix is not effectively conveyed, making their interactions feel forced and lacking in depth.
The transition from Jekyll tearing up the letter to the interaction with Beatrix feels abrupt and lacks a smooth flow.
The dialogue between Jekyll and Beatrix is somewhat stilted and does not effectively convey the depth of their relationship or the emotional stakes involved.
Sir Charles' entrance and confrontation with Jekyll feels rushed and lacks the necessary build-up to create a truly impactful moment.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify Jekyll's motivations and emotions in the scene to create a more cohesive and engaging interaction with Beatrix.
Work on building the emotional tension between Jekyll and Beatrix to make their relationship more compelling and believable.
Consider restructuring the scene to create a more natural flow from Jekyll tearing up the letter to his interaction with Beatrix.
Revise the dialogue between Jekyll and Beatrix to make it more authentic and emotionally resonant.
Develop Sir Charles' confrontation with Jekyll to build more suspense and drama, leading to a more impactful resolution.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

(CONTINUED)
65.

155 CONTINUED: (3) 155

JEKYLL
Sir Charles, I beg to believe that
there was no --

SIR CHARLES
All I can believe is that your
theories of behavior are not normal,
Jekyll -- not fit. I might say not
even --

BEATRIX
(interrupting quickly)
Father, I don't expect you to
understand. I'm not ashamed.

SIR CHARLES
Then I shall be for you... because I
do understand. You and I are leaving
for the Continent tomorrow. We shall
be catching the afternoon boat-train.

JEKYLL
(stunned)
The Continent? Oh, come, sir --
there's --

BEATRIX
(pleading now)
Oh, Father, please -!

JEKYLL
(trying to reason)
Sir Charles - you could avoid all of
this misunderstanding if you'd set
an early date for our marriage.

BEATRIX
Please, Father....

SIR CHARLES
The date remains as planned.
(to Jekyll)
And if you haven't abolished those
unhealthy experiments of yours -
(as Jekyll starts to
speak)
Oh, I know you're still working at
them - why, we'll consider the
engagement broken.

JEKYLL
swear to you, sir, I've finished
entirely with everything that I -

(CONTINUED)
66.

155 CONTINUED: (4) 155

SIR CHARLES
That will await our return. Come,
Beatrix.

BEATRIX
(to Jekyll)
Harry - if you don't wish me to go
away - I shall refuse.

SIR CHARLES
(sternly)
Beatrix -!

BEATRIX
I mean it, Father.

She turns to Jekyll for an answer. He looks at her for a
long time.

JEKYLL
(finally)
I don't want you to go away, Bee.
But - even though you and I can't
agree with him - your Father is only
thinking of your happiness. I can't
disrespect him in that. I can't ask
you to.

There is a moment of silence. Beatrix sees that Jekyll means
it.

SIR CHARLES
(with a relieved sigh,
more gently now)
That's highly commendable, Harry.

Beatrix now tries to smile. She offers her hand to Jekyll.

BEATRIX
(fighting tears)
You - you'll see us off at the train?

JEKYLL
(taking her hand -
nodding)
It better have two engines - or I'll
try to hold it back.

BEATRIX
Try anyway.

She goes close to him, kisses his cheek swiftly, and with a
little sob, turns and hurries out.

(CONTINUED)
67.

155 CONTINUED: (5) 155

SIR CHARLES
(more kindly)
Restraint, my boy - restraint. It's
the only strength of human existance.

JEKYLL
Goodnight, Sir Charles.

SIR CHARLES
Goodnight.

He turns and follows Beatrix. Jekyll looks after them,
miserable, as we

FADE OUT:

159-161 OUT.

FADE IN:

162 FULL SHOT - EXT. JEKYLL'S HOUSE - DUSK 162

It is raining, a heavy driving rain.

DISSOLVE TO:

163 FULL SHOT - INT. JEKYLL'S LAB 163

Jekyll stands looking out of the back windows, leaning up
against the wall. Poole enters from the stair landing and
comes down carrying a tray on which is a letter and a glass
of sherry wine. Jekyll does not even look around.

164 CLOSE SHOT - POOLE 164

At bottom of stair, he stops and looks at Jekyll o.s.

165 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - POOLE'S ANGLE 165

He is moody and disconsolate, as he looks at the rain outside.

166 PAN SHOT - POOLE 166

He shakes his head, frowning, then smiles to himself as WE
PAN HIM OVER to Jekyll.

POOLE
(gently)
How about a glass of sherry wine,
sir?

JEKYLL
(without looking)
No, thank you, Poole - no sherry
wine.

(CONTINUED)
68.

166 CONTINUED: 166

POOLE
Well, would you consider a letter -
ah - from Aix Les Bains?

Jekyll turns quickly, his face lighting up.

Genres: Drama, Romance
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Resentful, Anxious, Regretful

Summary Sir Charles confronts Jekyll about his concerning scientific pursuits, threatening to sever Jekyll's engagement to his daughter, Beatrix, if he does not cease. Torn between love and his scientific endeavors, Jekyll reluctantly yields to Sir Charles's demands, causing heartache for both himself and Beatrix.

Strengths

Emotional depth of characters
Tension between characters
Exploration of love and sacrifice

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be repetitive or melodramatic

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear resolution to the conflict between Jekyll, Beatrix, and Sir Charles. While there is tension and emotional turmoil, the scene ends abruptly without a satisfying conclusion.
The dialogue feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more depth and emotional nuance to fully convey the characters' inner conflicts and motivations.
The emotional stakes of the scene could be heightened by exploring the characters' internal struggles more explicitly, allowing the audience to connect with their dilemmas on a deeper level.
The transition between the characters' interactions feels somewhat disjointed, with shifts in tone and emotion that could be smoothed out for a more cohesive narrative flow.
There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the complexities of the relationships between Jekyll, Beatrix, and Sir Charles, which could add layers of depth and tension to the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider extending the scene to allow for a more gradual buildup of tension and emotional intensity, leading to a more impactful resolution.
Focus on developing the characters' dialogue to reflect their inner conflicts and emotional turmoil more effectively, adding layers of complexity to their interactions.
Explore the characters' motivations and desires more explicitly, allowing the audience to empathize with their struggles and dilemmas.
Work on creating a smoother transition between the characters' interactions, ensuring a cohesive narrative flow that engages the audience throughout the scene.
Delve deeper into the relationships between Jekyll, Beatrix, and Sir Charles to add depth and complexity to the dynamics at play, enhancing the emotional resonance of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

JEKYLL
(snatching up letter)
Poole, you blackguard! Would I?
(tears open letter,
Poole starting to
move away with the
tray)
And your sherry wine, too - what's
more!

Poole comes back and gives glass to Jekyll. Jekyll starts
reading letter avidly, holding wine in his hand. Poole moves
o.s.

167 CLOSE SHOT - POOLE 167

As he comes to a desk, and starts straightening things up.
He wants to talk, to cheer his master up.

POOLE
Miss Beatrix should be returning
home in another week, shouldn't she,
sir? Hobson told me they were
expected.

He gets no answer from Jekyll o.s. He turns to look.

168 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - POOLE'S ANGLE 168

Jekyll's expression is turning from interested delight to
puzzlement. Then his face clouds entirely. He puts glass
down on window-sill. It falls over with a tinkle and a splash.
Jekyll quickly turns the page, anguished.

169 INSERT - BEATRIX'S LETTER - IN JEKYLL'S HAND 169

(LINES ARE FROM TOP OF PAGE)

"... did not write yesterday because I'm so distressed.
Darling heart - Father - refuses to come home. We are leaving
tomorrow for Italy - to be gone I don't know how long. Oh,
my dearest, if you knew how I've tried to.."

170 FULL SHOT - ROOM 170

Poole sees Jekyll's concern and rage, as Jekyll looks away
from the letter. Poole advances to him, to pick up glass.

(CONTINUED)
69.

170 CONTINUED: 170

POOLE
Not bad news, I hope, sir.

JEKYLL
(bitterly)
Miss Beatrix will be gone indefinitely -
that's all.

POOLE
Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Sir Charles'
health, no doubt.
(a pause, as Poole
watches Jekyll slump
down in a chair)
If you'll forgive me, sir - it
distresses me to see you down this
way. It's not right, sir. Might I
suggest that you pick up and go out
this evening for a bit of fun? They
say there's a very entertaining
musical comedy at the Gaiety -
(with a little cough)
- er - ah -, very daring, you know,
sir -

Jekyll considers this a moment, looking at Poole. Then:

JEKYLL
(dryly)
I'm afraid that's not particularly
becoming in my position, Poole -
(then with a sardonic
chuckle))
Nor even wise, I might add....

He rubs his face in his hands.

POOLE
Another glass of sherry wine, sir?

JEKYLL
(face in his hands,
wearily)
No thank you, Poole...

POOLE
Yes, sir.

Poole exits from scene, with tray and broken glass. We hear
him go upstairs o.s. and close the door. Then Jekyll gets up
with sudden impatience. WE PAN HIM as he walks about the
room. He fiddles with a tube or two, straightening it
absently. He finds a pipe on the table, knocks it out. He
feels in his pocket for tobacco pouch. Doesn't find it. He
walks over by the cabinet.
70.

171 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 171

He is looking for his pouch, when suddenly, his eyes catches
something o.s.

172 CLOSE SHOT - IVY'S GARTER 172

It is still where Jekyll must have tossed it weeks ago. Its
cheap little clasp, glistens in the lamplight.

173 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 173

Fascinated, he slowly bends over and picks it up. He feels
it in his hand. He thinks of the girl. Then he quickly throws
it on the table. WE PAN HIM as he paces the length of the
room again, nervously. This brings him opposite the mirror.
He looks at himself then thinks, looks back at the garter,
then over at a cabinet. Then he makes his decision, and
hurries to the cabinet, pulling out some vials of powders
and liquids from various pigeon-holes. As he hastily carries
them to the lab table and sits himself down to mix them, we

DISSOLVE TO:

174 CLOSE SHOT - FINISHED POTION 174

As Jekyll's hand picks it up WE PAN to his face. He hesitates
a second, looks at the garter nearby, then with a desperate
gesture he drains the potion. The same reaction sets in as
before. In violent convulsions, his face starts to turn. He
grips the sides of the chair in agony. WE PAN DOWN to his
hand. It turns into an animal-like appendage. His four fingers
seem to grow together a little bit at the base, and then
separate in the middle, almost like the beginning of a cloven
hoof. His neck becomes thick and shorter.

WE PAN UP to his face. It is worse than before. WE PAN DOWN
to the other hand. The same process is happening here. He is
gasping and writhing all the while. WE PAN UP again to his
face. The transformation now becomes complete. It is worse
in this second stage - more bestial than faun. His writhing
stops. He rises, shakes his head - feels the change in his
thoughts.

Genres: Drama, Horror
Tone: Dark, Intense, Tragic, Suspenseful

Summary Jekyll confronts Poole about a letter, learning that Beatrix is leaving for Italy indefinitely. He becomes angry and drinks a potion, transforming into Hyde who is more bestial than before.

Strengths

Intense emotional impact
Compelling character development
Exploration of duality and morality

Weaknesses

Some dialogue could be more nuanced and impactful

General Critique

The scene starts with Jekyll's intense reaction to a letter, which sets the tone for his emotional turmoil.
The interaction between Jekyll and Poole highlights Jekyll's distress and inner conflict, but the transition to Poole suggesting fun at the Gaiety feels slightly abrupt.
Jekyll's bitter realization about Beatrix leaving indefinitely adds depth to his character and sets up the following actions.
The moment with Ivy's garter serves as a powerful visual cue to Jekyll's inner struggle and past actions.
The transformation sequence is well-described and effectively conveys Jekyll's physical and emotional turmoil as he becomes more bestial.
The scene effectively sets up the tension and conflict within Jekyll, leading to his decision to drink the potion and transform.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more subtle hints or foreshadowing of Jekyll's inner conflict and past actions throughout the scene.
Work on smoothing out the transition from Jekyll's distress over Beatrix leaving to Poole suggesting fun at the Gaiety.
Enhance the emotional impact of Jekyll finding Ivy's garter by delving deeper into his thoughts and feelings about it.
Ensure a seamless flow in the transformation sequence to maintain the intensity and build-up of Jekyll's decision to drink the potion.
Consider incorporating more internal monologue or dialogue to further explore Jekyll's inner turmoil and conflicting desires.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

(NOTE: The question of each metamorphosis and its subsequent
gradations according to makeup is open to debate so that all
parties concerned in the production agree and are satisfied)

GIRL'S VOICE
(on track, whispering)
It's in your eyes - it's in your
eyes...

He hurries over to the mirror to look. He is truly this Mr.
Hyde now, whom he spoke about to Poole.

(CONTINUED)
71.

174 CONTINUED: 174

HYDE
(into mirror, gleefully)
Yes, Mr. Hyde! Wonderful, Mr. Hyde!
It is! You are the modern Narcissus!
Your face reflects man's Eternity as
it was meant to be!

He leaps away from the mirror, stretches himself like an
animal in the middle of the room, thinks again.

GIRL'S VOICE
(whispering)
(with a low laugh) Caught, aren't
you? You're caught...

HYDE
(suddenly, exultantly)
No! I'm free! Free!

He capers about a second, then quickly takes his cape, stick
and hat from a hanger, and darts out the back door.

175 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - EXT. BACK OF LAB 175

He takes a key out of his pocket, and locks the door. Then
he turns and looks about him. He takes off his hat and
stretches again in the rain, looking up into the elements.
Then he darts off into the darkness as we

DISSOLVE TO:

176 FULL SHOT - INT. ROOMING HOUSE HALL 176

We are SHOOTING TOWARD front door on which somebody is banging
furiously on the outside. The slatternly landlady hurriedly
comes down the steps, opens door. She jumps back with a
startled cry as Hyde barges in.

HYDE
(his eyes agleam)
Is she here? Is she in?

LANDLADY
(back up stairs a way)
Who? Who do you want?

HYDE
(pointing)
The dove - the little white dove
that nests in her warm loft up there?

LANDLADY
(as he starts up steps)
If it's Ivy Pearson you want - she -
she ain't in.

(CONTINUED)
72.

176 CONTINUED: 176

HYDE
(thinking over the
name)
(coming down)
Ivy, eh? Ivy...
(with a sly laugh
poking her with stick)
Clinging, no doubt, too....
(then, impatiently)
Come, come - you leaf of jaded
lettuce! Where is she? Where does
she work?

LANDLADY
At the Palace of Varieties!

HYDE
Ah! At the Palace of Varieties!
What a shallow hearth for the fire
of my lovely jewel!
(then, cocking his
head to one side)
But - variety, eh? Variety! I like
that!

With a caper, he pokes the landlady in her backside with his
stick, and dashes out of the door.

177 CLOSE SHOT - CURB - EXT. IVY'S PLACE 177

Hyde comes out, gleeful at the prospect of finding Ivy. He
comes abreast of an old blind man who is timidly tapping his
stick on the curb, preparatory to crossing the street. Hyde
takes his arm with exaggerated solicitation.

HYDE
Why, why! Let me give you a hand,
Uncle!

BLIND MAN
(with a happy smile)
Oh...thank you, sir!

WE TRUCK AHEAD OF THEM across the street. They weave their
way past a couple of drays. Then, in the middle of the street,
Hyde kicks the old man's stick out from under him.

HYDE
(laughing gleefully)
There you are, Uncle - safe and sound!

(CONTINUED)
73.

177 CONTINUED: 177

The old man exclaims inarticulately - "Here - no - no -" and
gropes about for his stick which Hyde flicks farther away
along the cobbles with his own. A cart nearly runs the old
man down, the driver pulling up with a jerk as the old man
reels backwards. Hyde utters another happy laugh, and WE PAN
HIM as he crosses the street and capers down the walk to
where a cab is standing near the intersection of a neuse.

178 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 178

As he climbs into hansom, he taps the nodding driver with
his stick.

HYDE
Come, come - my dozing fungus -!
(as Cabbie wakes up
quickly)
To the Palace of Varieties!

CABBIE
Right, sir!

HYDE
(wacking horse's right
rump with cane)
Right, sir!
(then whacking left)
Left, sir!
(then whacking center)
And a bit down the middle, sir!

Naturally, the horse leaps to action during this as WE PAN
CARRIAGE AWAY, AND

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Tone: Dark, Intense, Mysterious, Sinister

Summary Mr. Hyde revels in his transformation, admiring his reflection and reveling in his cruelty. He inquires about Ivy Pearson at a rooming house, then plays a cruel prank on an old blind man. Hyde takes a cab to the Palace of Varieties, continuing his sinister quest.

Strengths

Effective portrayal of duality
Intense atmosphere
Compelling character development

Weaknesses

Some dialogue could be more nuanced
Transition between scenes could be smoother

General Critique

The scene effectively captures the transformation of Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde, showcasing his gleeful acceptance of his evil side.
The dialogue and actions of Hyde reflect his sinister and manipulative nature, adding depth to his character.
The visual descriptions, such as Hyde capering like an animal and poking the landlady with his stick, create a vivid and unsettling image of Hyde's behavior.
The scene effectively sets up Hyde's pursuit of Ivy and his cruel interactions with the blind man, showcasing his disregard for others.
The tone of the scene is dark and foreboding, effectively conveying Hyde's malevolent nature and the impending danger he poses.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal conflict or hesitation in Jekyll before his transformation into Hyde to emphasize the struggle between his good and evil sides.
Explore deeper into Hyde's motivations and desires, showcasing more of his manipulative and sinister traits to enhance his character.
Add more sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene, such as describing the sounds and smells of the environment to enhance the atmosphere.
Consider incorporating more foreshadowing or hints of Hyde's true nature earlier in the script to build suspense and intrigue leading up to this scene.
Ensure that the actions and dialogue of Hyde align with his character development and the overall themes of the screenplay to maintain consistency.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

DISSOLVE TO:

179 FULL SHOT - EXT. PALACE OF VARIETIES 179

It is the facade of the average cheap music hall of the
period. Hyde leaps out of the cab as it comes to a stop. He
looks at the place with eager interest, then turns to hand
the Cabbie his fare. As the latter reaches down for the money,
Hyde has the sudden caprice to pull him tumbling off his
seat, rolling him on the pavement. Hyde throws the money on
top of him and then pokes him with his stick.

HYDE
(capering about)
Whee! All the king's horses and all
the king's men!

A couple of hangers-on in front rush up. A passer-by stops.

(CONTINUED)
74.

179 CONTINUED: 179

1ST HANGER-ON
(as though to detain
Hyde)
Here, here, Guv'nor - what's the -?

Hyde turns and raises his stick, with a growl of rage. The
men jump back, scared at the expression of viciousness they
see. Then Hyde chuckles, and darts on into the music hall
box office, as we

DISSOLVE TO:

180 FULL SHOT - INT. PALACE OF VARIETIES 180

A smoke-filled Utopia with a bar at one end, a stage at the
other. Along the side, boxes with tables and chairs - and
tables and chairs ranging on an incline from the stage back
towards the bar. The "chairman" at his table down front is
conducting the proceedings on the stage, a row of plump
soubrettes in a song and dance ensemble to the tune of
"Champagne Charlie". WE SEE Hyde come in in the b.g.

181 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 181

He comes in, stands a moment, smelling the wind like an
expectant ram. A waiter approaches him, sees his quality
attire. Hyde hands him his ticket.

WAITER
Ah, yes, sir - Box F, sir.

WE PAN THEM through the tables and up some small steps around
in back of a box which Hyde enters. The waiter stands,
expecting an order, as Hyde's eyes dart about, savoring the
place. The waiter is now a little leery of Hyde's looks and
wants to please.

WAITER
A brandy and soda, sir?

HYDE
(with a grunt, nodding
his head)
Hmph.

The waiter exits. Hyde continues to sweep the room with his
look.

182 PAN SHOT - HYDE'S ANGLE - THE PLACE 182

Hyde's glance travels about slowly, enjoying each group. IT
HOLDS at a table where a young man is kissing the neck of
his girl friend. She pretends to repulse him.
75.

183 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 183

He likes this. He shifts happily in his chair. He looks toward
the stage.

184 PAN SHOT - LINE OF SOUBRETTES - HYDE'S ANGLE 184

We travel down the line of hard-working young ladies. They
lift their limbs in a sort of can-can.

185 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 185

This pleases him no end. He lifts his stick and rotates it
like the limbs of the girls. The waiter appears with the
brandy and soda, puts it down.

WAITER
(elaborately)
Yes, sir.

Hyde picks up the glass, starts to drink, and just then
notices something o.s. His eyes light up.

186 EFFECT SHOT - HIS ANGLE - IVY 186

She is behind the bar, laughing and joking with two or three
men. The reason Hyde can see her is that she is standing on
a stool, reaching up for a bottle at the back of the bar, as
she looks back at the men below. We cannot hear what she is
saying, naturally.

187 TWO SHOT - HYDE AND WAITER 187

Hyde notices waiter's presence.

HYDE
(barking)
What are you waiting for?
(as waiter starts to
stutter)
A tip, eh? Get out!

The waiter ducks quickly, and Hyde looks again toward Ivy
o.s. WE PULL BACK to INCLUDE waiter as he rounds box and
starts down steps.

WAITER
(grumbling)
Blighter!

Hyde swings his cane over the box in front of the waiter,
tripping him.

(CONTINUED)
76.

187 CONTINUED: 187

HYDE
(as he does so)
Eh?
(to waiter on floor)
Mind your tongue and send me a bottle
of champagne.
(gesturing o.s.)
Have her bring it - that girl up
there!

WAITER
(sullenly)
Ivy? Ivy ain't allowed to leave the
bar.

At this point, a fat little manager comes INTO SCENE.

HYDE
(with slow ominousness)
I said!

MANAGER
(very officious)
Here - here. What's all this here
about?

WAITER
This gent here wants champagne.

MANAGER
Champagne? Well, bring it, man -
bring it!

WAITER
But he wants Ivy to serve it -!

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Tone: Dark, Sinister, Menacing, Suspenseful

Summary Dr. Jekyll transforms into Mr. Hyde and causes a scene at the Palace of Varieties. He knocks over a cabbie, threatens a waiter, and orders champagne from barmaid Ivy. The manager intervenes, resolving the tension temporarily. The scene ends with Hyde's sinister demand for Ivy to serve him, leaving the outcome uncertain.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Effective portrayal of duality
Suspenseful tone

Weaknesses

Some dialogue could be more impactful
Limited exploration of Ivy's character

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition from the previous scene, making it feel disjointed and abrupt.
The actions of Hyde knocking over the cabbie and poking him with his stick seem unnecessarily cruel and out of character, detracting from the overall tone of the scene.
The interaction between Hyde and the waiter could be more nuanced to show Hyde's manipulative and menacing nature in a subtler way.
The introduction of Ivy behind the bar feels forced and contrived, lacking a natural flow in the narrative.
The dialogue between Hyde, the waiter, and the manager could be more dynamic and engaging to create tension and intrigue.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition from the previous scene to establish a better flow of events.
Tone down Hyde's cruel actions towards the cabbie to maintain consistency with his character.
Refine the interaction between Hyde and the waiter to showcase Hyde's manipulative nature in a more subtle and nuanced manner.
Integrate Ivy's introduction more organically into the scene to avoid feeling forced or contrived.
Enhance the dialogue between Hyde, the waiter, and the manager to create more tension and intrigue in the interaction.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

MANAGER
Of course, she'll serve it! Jump
now!
(turns to Hyde as
waiter slinks off)
Anything to oblige a gentleman, sir!

But Hyde takes no notice of him, as he keeps looking o.s. at
Ivy.

188 GROUP SHOT - AROUND IVY AT BAR 188

She is still on the stool, reaching up. The two men are
kidding her. She is playing up to them. Their eyes are
obviously on her ankles and lower limbs as they are revealed
by her skirt lifting a little when she stretches.

(CONTINUED)
77.

188 CONTINUED: 188

1ST MAN
(winking at the other)
No, we want the Old Par up there -!

IVY
This - up here -?

2ND MAN
(nudging his companion)
No, no - up higher, Ivy love - the
Red Label Walker -!

IVY
Higher, eh? You are a one!
(drops down and pushes
him playfully in the
chest)
Your missus has got a pair of ankles.
Go home and look at them!

By this time the waiter has come to bar.

WAITER
(to Ivy)
There's a gent in Box F what wants
you to serve him and old Figg says
you're to do it.

IVY
(airily)
Oh, he does, eh? Well, tell him it a
in't my business to --

WAITER
He wants a bottle of the boy.

IVY
(happily surprised)
Oh! Bubbly! Why didn't you say so?

She takes a bottle of champagne from a box of cracked ice
behind bar. Puts it on a tray.

1ST MAN
(during this)
Hey, Ivy love - what about some fish
and chips after the show?

2ND MAN
What about a dozen oysters and a
pint of stout?

Ivy very meaningly puts a second glass on the tray.

(CONTINUED)
78.

188 CONTINUED: (2) 188

IVY
What about a glass of champagne?

She picks up tray with bottle and glasses and flounces down
the bar and out, as the two men look after her.

189 CLOSE SHOT - CHAIRMAN 189

He turns to the crowd as another chorus of the song starts.

CHAIRMAN
(calling out)
Everybody now! All together! `Oh!
Champagne Charlie is my --!'

He leads the crowd as they all start to sing.

190 PAN SHOT - IVY 190

As she approaches box. She adopts a casual air, singing as
she goes, pretending little interest in the man in the box
o.s., as WE PAN HER UP the steps and around into the box.
She puts down tray as Hyde looks at her avidly. She has not
yet got a good look at him, only sensing his expensive attire,
as she opens the bottle and sings at the same time. Then she
turns as though to smile casually at the customer, and gets
Hyde's full look, sees him for the first time, and stops
singing, staring at him. Then she looks away, starts singing
again, only not very happily now, and then pours only one
glass, as she finally ceases singing entirely. The song stops,
and there are applause and shouts o.s.

IVY
(wanting to get away)
That'll be half a quid, sir.

HYDE
(giving her a note)
Here's a sovereign, my dear... the
change is yours.

IVY
(impressed)
Thank you, sir.

Yet she looks at him again and still decides to go. Hyde
gets up quickly and touches her elbow.

HYDE
Oh, but now! You brought two glasses.
You must have had the same thought
as I. What a nice beginning, eh?
(pulls out chair and
edges her into it)
Sit down, my dear - yes - sit down....

(CONTINUED)
79.

190 CONTINUED: 190

He pours the other glass of wine for her.

IVY
(nervously, watching
him)
I'll take just a sip. Then I'll have
to go back because I'm --

HYDE
Nonsense - we've got all evening,
little Ivy. I like your singing.
You'll have to sing for me some more.
Where did you get such a pretty
voice....?

IVY
(fooling with glass)
Why - I dunno.... I just --

HYDE
Is it because of the pretty place it
comes from -?
(starting to touch
under her chin)
That's very lovely.... where it comes
from....

Ivy quickly picks up her glass, to interfere with his gesture.

IVY
Well - good - good luck, sir.

Genres: Drama, Romance, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Romantic, Suspenseful

Summary In this scene at a bar, Ivy is asked to serve champagne to a man in a box named Hyde. Despite her initial intentions to leave, Hyde insists she sit down and engages her in conversation, leading to a flirtatious and slightly tense interaction.

Strengths

Effective portrayal of duality and transformation
High emotional impact
Tension and suspenseful atmosphere

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel cliched or predictable

General Critique

The scene effectively sets up the dynamic between Ivy and Hyde, showcasing Hyde's manipulative and predatory behavior towards Ivy.
The dialogue and interactions between Ivy and the men at the bar add depth to Ivy's character and highlight the objectification she faces.
The tension and unease in Ivy's demeanor as she interacts with Hyde are well portrayed, creating a sense of foreboding.
The scene effectively conveys Hyde's control over Ivy through subtle gestures and dialogue, adding to the suspense and discomfort of the scene.
The visual descriptions and actions help to build the atmosphere of the music hall and emphasize the power dynamic between Ivy and Hyde.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from Ivy to further explore her feelings and motivations in the scene.
Enhance the dialogue between Ivy and Hyde to deepen the sense of manipulation and danger in their interaction.
Explore Ivy's agency and resilience in the face of Hyde's advances to add complexity to her character.
Introduce subtle hints or foreshadowing of Hyde's true nature earlier in the scene to build suspense and tension.
Consider incorporating sensory details to immerse the audience in the setting of the music hall and enhance the atmosphere.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

HYDE
I make my own luck, my dear --
(lifting his glass to
her)
And tonight I follow the rainbow....

IVY
(with a nervous laugh) You do talk,
don't you?

HYDE
(leaning closer to
her)
We'll follow it together, eh?

He holds her gaze for a second. Then:

IVY
(decisively)
I follow it right home, mister.

(CONTINUED)
80.

190 CONTINUED: (2) 190

HYDE
To what end, my dear? That fetid
stable you call home? You - with
your young radiance -- are happy
living in that rat-trap?

IVY
(pertly)
What do you expect? Buckingham Palace?

Hyde throws back his head and laughs.

HYDE
Touche', my dear. I like that!

IVY
(suddenly)
Here! How do you know where I live?

HYDE
(caught)
Why, I --
(then, easily)
I can only imagine. I'll warrant
your wages here won't afford you a
mansion in Kensington.

IVY
(as he leans closer)
`Struth - they don't!
(starting to rise)
Well, I must be off because --

HYDE
(holding her arm)
Why? You act frightened of me, little
Ivy....
(rising with her,
still holding her
arm - softly)
You mustn't be frightened of me....

Ivy stares at him a second, almost in a spell because of his
voice and touch. Then, she suddenly wrenches herself away.

IVY
(as she does so)
I ain't afraid of nobody - but leggo,
you hear?

At this point, the first man who was at the bar, enters. He
is quite tight and annoyed. He grabs Ivy's other arm.

1ST MAN
What's he doin', Ivy?

(CONTINUED)
81.

190 CONTINUED: (3) 190

IVY
(wrenching away from
him also)
And you leggo, too:

As she ducks out of the box, she bumps into the second man
at the bar, who has followed the first. The latter is quite
drunk.

2ND MAN
Hey! What's all this about?

HYDE
(pointing to first
man)
He insulted the poor child! He mauled
her!

1ST MAN
Don't listen to --

2ND MAN
(eyeing first)
He did, eh?

HYDE
You saw him -- he nearly broke her
wrist! We were sitting here having a -

For answer the second man swings on the first and knocks him
over the rail of the box and onto a table, beneath where sit
four or five men and a couple of girls. The place goes in an
uproar.

2ND MAN
(leaning over rail,
to first)
You will, eh?

Hyde's eyes light up at the fracas. He shoves the second man
over the low rail with a lightning movement, and stands
laughing at the turmoil below.

191 FULL SHOT - FIGHT 191

It starts as one of the men swings on the first who has
fallen.

AD LIB
Here! What's the idea? Give it to
him, Fred! Wh're you shovin'? Let
him have it! You take that one! Etc.

The fight becomes general in the area below Hyde's box, as
he watches gleefully. Women scream. Glasses and bottles crash.
82.

192 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 192

He jumps up and down at the rail, watching the fight like an
animal, gleefully giggling as he sees the heavy punching and
falling. At one point a man is backed up against the rail.
Hyde puts his foot through and kicks him sprawling.

193 PAN SHOT - MANAGER 193

The fat little man comes hurrying into the fight, elbowing
his way through.

MANAGER
(calling over his
shoulder)
Fred - Joe -!
(to fighting crowd)
Here, here now - stop this! I'll
stop it!

As he comes abreast of Hyde, Hyde's eyes gleam as he spies
the Manager's. Then, with elaborate but quick prankishness,
Hyde uses his stick like a billiard cue, shooting it on the
rail, letting the manager have it right in the side of the
eye, then jumps up and down with laughter as the manager
goes down, and we -

DISSOLVE TO:

194 TWO SHOT - INT. MANAGER'S OFFICE 194

The manager is applying a cold towel and a piece of raw meat
to his eye which is quite puffed. In the b.g. through the
door, we see the activity of the place. Hyde watches him.

MANAGER
... frightful. We run a very orderly
hall here. I don't understand what
happened.

Genres: Drama, Thriller
Tone: Dark, Intense, Suspenseful

Summary Hyde and Ivy's conversation in a bar turns chaotic when a drunken man grabs Ivy, prompting a fight instigated by Hyde. The manager is injured, and the scene shifts to the manager's office due to the escalating violence.

Strengths

Effective portrayal of duality and transformation
Intense and suspenseful tone
Strong conflict and high stakes

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may come off as cliched or melodramatic

General Critique

The scene effectively portrays Hyde's manipulative and menacing behavior towards Ivy, creating tension and unease.
Hyde's taunting and controlling demeanor towards Ivy is well depicted, showcasing his dark and cruel nature.
The escalation of conflict in the scene, from Ivy's discomfort to the physical altercation, adds intensity and drama.
The fight sequence adds action and chaos to the scene, highlighting Hyde's enjoyment of violence and disruption.
Hyde's gleeful reaction to the fight and his cruel prank on the Manager further emphasize his sadistic and chaotic personality.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more depth to Ivy's character to show her internal struggle and vulnerability in the face of Hyde's manipulation.
Explore Ivy's emotions and reactions further to enhance the impact of Hyde's behavior on her.
Provide more context or background on Ivy and Hyde's relationship to add complexity and depth to their interactions.
Consider delving into the psychological dynamics between Ivy and Hyde to create a more nuanced and compelling dynamic.
Ensure that the fight sequence and Hyde's actions contribute meaningfully to the overall narrative and character development.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

HYDE
Ir's that girl, Ivy... that barmaid.
Girls like that always cause trouble.
You should discharge her.

MANAGER
(surprised)
Ivy? Why, no! She brings half the
customers in here --

HYDE
I said discharge her!

(CONTINUED)
83.

194 CONTINUED: 194

As the manager looks, Hyde takes a sheaf of bills from his
wallet, and throws them on the desk. The manager picks them
up, looks at Hyde.

MANAGER
Hm? Five pounds? Why - why - yes -
yes - I think you're quite right,
sir. Trouble-maker, that's what she
is. Out she goes, sir.

HYDE
(starting to go)
At once, you hear?

MANAGER
Oh, yes, sir.

Hyde goes out, as the manager looks after him, guiltily
putting the money in his pocket, as we

DISSOLVE TO:

195 CLOSE SHOT - CAB - EXT. PALACE OF VARIETIES - LATER 195

Hyde is sitting in the cab, staring o.s. like a gnome,
waiting. His eyes light up, AS WE HEAR Ivy and the manager's
voice o.s. WE PAN OVER to where Ivy is leaving the stage
door of the place and yelling back at the manager in the
b.g.

IVY
Who you pushin'?

MANAGER
Well, don't hang about here!

IVY
Who's hangin' about?

MANAGER
Then be off!

IVY
Good riddance!

He slams the door in her face and she comes toward the CAMERA,
flouncing her indignation. As she gets opposite the cab,
Hyde steps out and confronts her.

HYDE
(solicitously)
I was afraid there would be trouble,
little Ivy...

(CONTINUED)
84.

195 CONTINUED: 195

IVY
(flaring up at him)
Trouble? I was sacked, that's what -
!

HYDE
I know. That's why I waited. I want
to help you, my dear.

IVY
You done enough. It was on account
of you! You started that row!

HYDE
Ha! A volcano inside - always ready
to flare up. I like that.
(in the meantime he
has taken out wallet
and puts a wad of
notes in her hand)
There now - to show my heart. We'll
get along, you and I!
(guides her to cab
and helps her in)
The rainbow is wide and long, little
Ivy....

Ivy allows him to do this, fascinated as much by his easy
manner as by the sudden wealth in her hands.

196 FULL SHOT - INT. CAB 196

Ivy gets in, followed quickly by Hyde, who shuts the door.
But Ivy now feels imprisoned as Hyde sits close to her. She
starts to rise, undecided, as though to get out.

IVY
Now, wait. Half a mo', mister --

HYDE
(quickly, holding her
on seat)
No, no... you don't belong in there,
anyhow -- serving cheap gin to cattle!
You should be in a quiet, hidden
palace - singing the ancient song of
pleasure -- and surrounded by rare
perfume and jewels -- a life that
would put a queen of Babylon to
shame --!

(CONTINUED)
85.

196 CONTINUED: 196

IVY
(fascinated more, but
doubtful)
G'arn -- who do you think you're
kiddin'?

HYDE
I mean it, my dear! From the moment
I saw you, I --

IVY
(practical)
And how'm I going to get all that?

HYDE
(patting her hand -
still holding money)
With this! More and more of this. It
was printed just for you --!
(he laughs wildly,
and she pulls away
from him a little -
he feels this)
Oh, don't let my looks frighten you,
little Ivy -!

IVY
(studying him)
Well, you ain't a museum piece,
exactly.....

HYDE
(enfolding her)
No, not my face - but you'll forget
that soon enough....
(he moves toward her)
She suddenly decides against it all.

IVY
(trying to get away)
No! It's a rum go. That's what it
is! Let me out!

She tries to thrust him away.

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Romance
Tone: Dark, Intense, Suspenseful, Romantic

Summary Hyde convinces the manager to discharge Ivy from her job at the Palace of Varieties. He then waits for Ivy outside and offers her money to help her, suggesting a life of luxury and pleasure. Ivy is initially hesitant but intrigued by Hyde's offer. The conflict arises when Hyde convinces the manager to fire Ivy, but it is resolved when Ivy accepts Hyde's offer of money and a luxurious lifestyle. The tone of the scene is manipulative and seductive, with significant visual elements including Hyde offering Ivy money and promising her a life of luxury inside the cab. The scene ends with Ivy feeling unsure about Hyde's intentions and trying to get away from him.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Compelling character dynamics
Exploration of duality and temptation

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly cliched or melodramatic

General Critique

The scene portrays Hyde as manipulative and coercive towards Ivy, which can be seen as perpetuating harmful stereotypes of abusive behavior.
The dynamic between Hyde and Ivy is concerning, as Hyde uses his wealth and power to control and influence Ivy's decisions.
The scene lacks depth and nuance in portraying Ivy's character, reducing her to a passive recipient of Hyde's actions.
The dialogue between Hyde and Ivy is somewhat cliched and lacks subtlety in conveying the power dynamics at play.
The scene could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of Ivy's agency and motivations, rather than focusing solely on Hyde's manipulative behavior.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider revising the scene to give Ivy more agency and autonomy in her interactions with Hyde.
Explore Ivy's character in more depth to provide a more nuanced portrayal of her experiences and motivations.
Avoid perpetuating harmful stereotypes of abusive behavior by depicting healthier and more respectful interactions between characters.
Enhance the dialogue to reflect the complexities of the power dynamics between Hyde and Ivy, while also ensuring Ivy's character is portrayed with depth and authenticity.
Consider adding layers to Ivy's character to make her more multidimensional and less of a passive recipient of Hyde's actions.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

HYDE
(becoming vicious
instantly)
Do you think I'd let you go now that
I've got you? You think I'd throw
away food after famine?

(CONTINUED)
86.

196 CONTINUED: (2) 196

IVY
(unable to take her
eyes from his, in a
small voice)
D-don't - you're hurting me...

HYDE
(grinning evilly)
I wouldn't hurt you because I love
you - because I'm happy loving you -
(with a chuckle)
We're going to whirl away - in a
burst of blinding darkness -- aren't
we, little moonbeam?

IVY
(a mouse before a
cobra)
I - I - don't know what you're talking
about -

HYDE
(imitating her in a
baby-talk voice)
Oh! She doesn't know what I'm talkin'
about!

197 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE'S FACE 197

It starts to come closer toward the CAMERA

HYDE
(in a throaty low
whisper)
But you'll find out... oh yes --
you'll find out...

His face moves right into the CAMERA with an awful leer, as
we

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

198 CLOSE SHOT - BEATRIX'S FACE 198

She is wearing a puzzled frown. WE PULL BACK TO find her
seated on the terrace at a table with Sir Charles outside of
the "pump room" at Aix Les Bains. Sir Charles is opening
some letters. In the b.g., others at other tables are reading
newly-arrived mail. Beatrix turns the page of her letter.
87.

198A CLOSE SHOT - PAGE OF LETTER 198A

"so your letter was forwarded to me here at the Conference.
I cannot imagine why you have not heard from Harry, but when
I get back to London I shall immediately look him up and --"

199 TWO SHOT - BEATRIX AND SIR CHARLES 199

SIR CHARLES
(opening another letter)
Hmph! Fellows and Smith. Probably
the market's tumbled.
(then, as he glances
at letter)
No! It's up. By Gad!
(then over to Beatrix,
in a fine mood)
Well, what's your good news, my dear.
What does Harry say this morning?

Casually, Beatrix tips the copy of the Times. so that it
stands on her lap against the table.

BEATRIX
Oh, nothing much....

200 CLOSE SHOT - COLUMN OF TIMES - 200

IT IS A LETTER. IT BEGINS:

To the Editor of the Times:- I recently walked through the
West End of London. I have never seen such deplorable housing
conditions in all my life. Surely, --

SIR CHARLES' VOICE
(with a chuckle)
Oh, come now - Nothing about wanting
to know when you're coming home? Oh,
no - I'll wager not!

201 TWO SHOT - BEATRIX AND SIR CHARLES 201

He is glancing over at her chidingly.

BEATRIX
(trying to be bright)
He says he walked through the West
End recently....
(reads)
I have never seen such deplorable
housing conditions Surely, the City
Council should find funds to --
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
88.

201 CONTINUED: 201

BEATRIX (CONT'D)
(stops reading)
Well, he just goes on to say about
the conditions. They must be pretty
dreadful.

SIR CHARLES
Hmp! I like the sound of that. He's
got his mind on practical problems.
Yes, the Council should do something
about it -
(stops as he sees
tears in her eyes)
Here, here - my dear - what's wrong?

BEATRIX
(quickly collecting
herself)
Nothing. I - I guess I'm just not
terribly interested in housing
conditions.... at the moment.

She tries for control with a little laugh.

SIR CHARLES
You mean because a man doesn't cover
the pages with sentimental drivel?
Nonsense -
(pats her hand, gently)
You women should learn to read between
the lines...
(picks up another
letter - half to
himself)
Yes. I like the tone of that letter.
Perhaps we won't have to stay away
as long as I thought....

Beatrix turns and looks at him with joyful expectance, as WE
DOLLY TO A CLOSE SHOT OF HER, an

DISSOLVE TO:
89.

202 CLOSE SHOT - IVY - INT. NEW APARTMENT 202

Genres: Drama, Romance, Thriller
Tone: Dark, Intense, Emotional

Summary Hyde reveals his evil intentions towards Ivy, threatening to keep her captive and harm her. Despite Ivy's pleas and confusion, Hyde continues to mock and torment her, promising that she will eventually understand his sinister plans. The scene is characterized by a dark and menacing tone, with a power struggle between Hyde and Ivy creating a sense of uncertainty and foreboding about Ivy's fate.

Strengths

Effective portrayal of internal conflict
Compelling character dynamics
Emotional depth and tension

Weaknesses

Some dialogue could be more nuanced
Transition between Jekyll and Hyde could be smoother

General Critique

The scene between Hyde and Ivy is intense and disturbing, with Hyde displaying manipulative and abusive behavior towards Ivy.
Hyde's menacing and predatory nature is effectively portrayed through his dialogue and actions, creating a sense of fear and unease.
The scene effectively builds tension and suspense as Hyde's behavior becomes increasingly threatening towards Ivy.
The power dynamic between Hyde and Ivy is clearly established, with Hyde exerting control and instilling fear in Ivy.
The scene effectively conveys the dark and sinister side of Hyde's character, highlighting his capacity for cruelty and manipulation.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more depth to Ivy's character to show her internal struggle and vulnerability in the face of Hyde's abuse.
Explore the emotional impact of Hyde's actions on Ivy to create a more nuanced and impactful portrayal of their relationship.
Focus on developing the psychological dynamics between Hyde and Ivy to enhance the tension and suspense in the scene.
Consider incorporating subtle cues or gestures to convey Ivy's fear and discomfort in response to Hyde's menacing behavior.
Experiment with different dialogue exchanges to further highlight the power dynamics and manipulation at play in the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

She is a different Ivy than we last saw. She seems to be
down, dull, beaten, some of her native young impudence and
freshness gone. She is playing a game of solitaire. She makes
a move, and winces a little, feels her shoulder, then plays
on dully, as WE DRAW BACK to show her new surroundings, a
rather rich, gaudy and heavy parlor of the period. In the
b.g. beyond folding doors thrown open, is the bedroom and
dressing table. AS WE SWING AROUND we see the front door on
a landing and then a few steps with rail descend into the
parlor. The door opens and Ivy jumps up quickly, stiffening,
then relaxes and tries to cover up as an older girl in a
peignoir and slippers comes in.

IVY
(sitting down)
Oh, hello, Marcia.

MARCIA
(coming down steps)
Just stepped down the hall for a
chin-chin...
(sits down opposite
Ivy as WE DOLLY IN
eyeing her, with a
casual drawl)
You jumped as though you sat on a
hot stove.

IVY
(with a nervous laugh)
It's me nerves, I suppose.
(to change subject)
Want to play?

MARCIA
(picks up another
deck and shuffles,
as Ivy sweeps hers
up and does the same)
Oh, I say -
(laying out her cards)
My Freddie's got a young brother.
Just down from Oxford. A nice boy,
Freddie says, and he'd like to have
him meet a nice girl. How about it?

IVY
(quickly, seeing
Marcia's motive)
No, Marcia - no - you know I ain't
in any position to --

(CONTINUED)
90.

202 CONTINUED: 202

MARCIA
(coming right to the
point)
I don't know what's wrong with you!
A smart, pretty young girl - with a
goblin like this Hyde! Of all the --

IVY
(trying to pass it
off)
Why, now - looks ain't everything -
you see --

MARCIA
(piling it on)
Sitting here waiting for him all the
time - like in a cage! Come on out
with Freddie and me and the kid.
We'll go to the Empire and the
Alhambra - where all the toffs go -
where everybody's laughin' and
gay --!

IVY
Oh, I'd like that - straight, I would.
But - but I can't, Marcia. I --

MARCIA
(rising, going around
to her)
You can't because you're afraid of
him - that's why!

IVY
(very unconvincing)
I - I'm not afraid of nobody....!

MARCIA
(pulls kimona off
Ivy's arm - vehement
against Hyde,
indicating bruises)
These are the diamond bracelets he
gives you, I suppose? Why if ever a
man dared to lay a hand to me like
that I'd --

But they both turn quickly as the door opens o.s. Ivy rises
in panic. Marcia's jaw stiffens. She still holds the pack of
cards in her hand.

203 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 203

He stands there a second in the open door, smiling his evil
smile at them.
91.

203A CLOSE SHOT - MARCIA AND IVY 203A

Marcia slowly lets Ivy's sleeve down and walks back around
the other side of the table. Her defiance dwindles. Ivy stands
terrified.

203B PAN SHOT - HYDE 203B

He closes the door and comes down the steps into the room.
He takes off his hat and gloves and cape. He slowly walks
over and confronts the two girls. He looks Marcia up and
down.

HYDE
And who is our out-spoken visitor?

IVY
It's Marcia, sir - my friend - You've
heard me speak about. We - we was
just playing a -

HYDE
Ah, yes - Marcia. You know, Marcia,
I've never been interested in you in
the slightest - until now...

MARCIA
(trying to be calm)
Well - I've got to be toddling, I
guess...

HYDE
Oh, no. This could be interesting --
the three of us. Discussing friendly
details...

MARCIA
(backing away)
I'll - I'll drop by again, Ivy.

She goes to foot of stairs for her wrap.

203C REVERSE SHOT - AT STAIR 203C

Hyde follows Marcia and helps her on with her wrap.

HYDE
But you must come when I'm here,
Marcia. Your point of view differs
from mine. It would be a delicious
thrill to change it.
(over his shoulder)
Ivy found it that way - didn't we,
my dear?

(CONTINUED)
92.

Genres: Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Dark, Suspenseful, Menacing

Summary Ivy, in her new apartment, is playing solitaire when Marcia arrives and attempts to persuade her to join her and her brother. Ivy initially declines, but Marcia persists, pointing out bruises on Ivy's arm and accusing Hyde of abusing her. Hyde enters the room, confronting Marcia, who eventually leaves. Hyde then focuses his attention on Ivy.

Strengths

Effective portrayal of manipulation dynamics
Tense and suspenseful atmosphere
Strong emotional impact
Compelling character interactions

Weaknesses

Potential for triggering content due to themes of manipulation and control

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of direction and purpose, with Ivy playing solitaire and engaging in mundane conversation with Marcia.
The dialogue feels forced and lacks depth, failing to effectively convey the tension and fear Ivy should be experiencing in Hyde's presence.
The interaction between Ivy and Marcia does not effectively build suspense or develop the characters' relationships.
The transition from a casual conversation to Hyde's sudden appearance lacks a smooth buildup, diminishing the impact of his entrance.
The scene fails to effectively convey Ivy's vulnerability and fear in the presence of Hyde, missing an opportunity to create a sense of dread and suspense.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more tension and suspense to the scene by building up Ivy's fear and anxiety leading up to Hyde's entrance.
Enhance the dialogue to reflect Ivy's inner turmoil and the menacing presence of Hyde, creating a more impactful interaction between the characters.
Focus on developing Ivy's character arc and emotional journey in this scene to make her reactions to Hyde more authentic and compelling.
Work on creating a more seamless transition from the casual conversation with Marcia to the chilling encounter with Hyde, to heighten the dramatic impact.
Explore ways to visually convey Ivy's fear and vulnerability through her actions and reactions, adding depth to the scene and enhancing the audience's engagement.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

203C CONTINUED: 203C

Ivy in b.g. says nothing. Hyde feels Marcia's shoulders. He
puts on her wrap.

HYDE
(continuing)
What nice material..

Marcia quickly pulls away and ascends the stairs.

MARCIA
Good - goodbye, Ivy.

IVY
Goodbye.

Marcia turns, gives a second look at Hyde, hurries out.

203D CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 203D

He looks after Marcia.

HYDE
(chuckling softly)
Quite nice material....

Then he turns and looks o.s. at Ivy.

203E CLOSE SHOT - IVY 203E

She stands frozen by the table, scared by his look now that
they are left alone.

203F CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 203F

He softens into a demon-sweet tenderness. WE PAN HIM OVER to
decanter on the side console, where he pours himself a
straight drink during the following conversation:

HYDE
(as he goes to side
console)
Marcia is a pretty girl, isn't she?

203G CLOSE SHOT - IVY 203G

IVY
Oh, yes, sir.

203H CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 203H

HYDE
(as he pours drink)
That's why you're scared, isn't it?
93.

203J CLOSE SHOT - IVY 203J

She is confused.

IVY
Why, no, sir - I -

203K CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 203K

He is looking in mirror now, holding his drink in one hand,
smoothing his hair and tie with the other. Ivy can be seen
in mirror in back of him.

HYDE
You're afraid I'll become interested
in Marcia, aren't you?

IVY
(quickly)
Oh, no, sir - if you want to - why -
(she stops as Hyde
turns quickly - we
cannot see his face -
then, her expression
very strained)
Oh, yes, sir - of course, sir:

203L PAN SHOT - HYDE 203L

He throws down the drink and WE PAN HIM OVER to the table
where Ivy is standing.

HYDE
What? You're not very clear.

IVY
Well, sir - I -

HYDE
(stroking her shoulder)
Poor child. I'm such a tease, aren't
I? Such a tease....

IVY
Yes, sir.

HYDE
(with a pleasurable
sigh)
- starts eating grapes from bowl)
What a lucky man - to be loved this
way.

He sits down on the table, putting grape after grape into
his mouth and snicking the skins across the room at random.

(CONTINUED)
94.

203L CONTINUED: 203L

HYDE
But, my dear - suppose I did have to
leave you for awhile?

203M TWO SHOT - DIFFERENT ANGLE 203M

Ivy sits down at the table again, her face averted from Hyde
at this question, and starts to put the cards together with
trembling hands.

IVY
(trying to hide her
hope)
Leave, sir? When?

HYDE
I'm not saying when. I just say
suppose.

IVY
Why, sir - I -

HYDE
Supposing I had to take a trip from
time to time?

IVY
(unable to keep from
looking at him with
great expectance)
You mean - soon, sir?

HYDE
(letting her hang on
eagerly)
Well, let me see...
(gently - touching
her cheek)
Oh - to - to - you mustn't look so
worried. It won't be for a long,
long time.

IVY
(dully)
Oh... I see, sir.

HYDE
So we won't think about it now, will
we?

IVY
N-no, sir.

(CONTINUED)
95.

203M CONTINUED: 203M

HYDE
But when I do - it will break your
heart. Won't it?

IVY
Oh, yes, sir.

HYDE
(with a chuckle)
It'll be a knife in your heart. Won't
it?

On this, he snicks a grape skin right into the curly hair
about her temple. It sticks there. She tries to laugh, as
she picks it out. Then she quickly gets up and exits from
SCENE, taking cards with her as Hyde watches her.

204 CLOSE SHOT - IVY 204

As she comes to a cabinet and starts to put cards away,
staying there to re-arrange things just for something to do.

205 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 205

Genres: Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Sinister, Manipulative, Intense

Summary In this scene, Hyde interacts with Ivy after Marcia leaves, teasing her about his potential interest in Marcia and hinting at leaving her for a trip in the future. Ivy becomes hopeful and anxious about the possibility of Hyde leaving, leading to a tense and manipulative atmosphere in the room. The scene ends with Ivy quickly exiting after Hyde continues to toy with her emotions.

Strengths

Effective portrayal of manipulation and power dynamics
Tense and intense atmosphere
Strong character development for Hyde and Ivy

Weaknesses

Some moments of confusion in Ivy's reactions

General Critique

The scene effectively establishes the manipulative and menacing nature of Hyde through his interactions with Ivy.
The tension and unease between Hyde and Ivy are well portrayed, creating a sense of foreboding and danger.
Hyde's subtle threats and manipulative behavior towards Ivy are chilling and effectively convey his sinister intentions.
The scene effectively builds suspense and maintains a dark and menacing tone throughout.
The dynamic between Hyde and Ivy is well-developed, showcasing the power imbalance and Ivy's vulnerability in the face of Hyde's manipulation.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual cues to enhance the atmosphere of tension and fear in the scene.
Explore deeper into Ivy's emotions and reactions to further highlight the impact of Hyde's manipulation on her.
Introduce more subtle hints or foreshadowing of Hyde's true intentions to build suspense and intrigue.
Enhance the dialogue to further emphasize Hyde's menacing nature and Ivy's internal conflict.
Consider incorporating more physical actions or gestures to convey the power dynamics between Hyde and Ivy.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

He watches her, smiling, swinging one leg as he sits on the
table, munching more grapes.

HYDE
And what would my little cherub like
to do this evening?

205A CLOSE SHOT - IVY 205A

She turns - a plea in her eyes.

IVY
Oh, sir! Could we go out, sir?

205B CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 205B

HYDE
Out? You mean - gad about a bit? See
the sights?

205C PAN SHOT - IVY 205C

She comes over to him, hopeful of selling him the idea.

IVY
Oh, yes, sir. You'd like it, wouldn't
you, sir?

HYDE
Well, now, that might be very pleasant -
yes - let's see - where shall we go?

(CONTINUED)
96.

205C CONTINUED: 205C

IVY
Oh, they say the Alhambra and such
places is ever so nice.

HYDE
They do? Who does?

IVY
Well, Marcia, sir. She says it's
ever so gay.

HYDE
Is that so?

IVY
Yes, sir. We can go, can't we, sir?
They say the entertainment is ever
such fun. And I - well, I haven't
been out in so long, I -

HYDE
You are getting somewhat pale, my
dear...

IVY
It's true, sir. Not that I'm complain
ing, you understand - but-

HYDE
(gently)
Oh, I know. You're just jumpy -
nervous - that's it.

IVY
Yes, sir. I -

HYDE
You have that - that cooped-up
feeling...

IVY
Oh, yes, sir. You do understand,
don't you? Then we'll -?

HYDE
(with a sudden idea)
I know! What about Albert Hall? To a
symphony, perhaps?

IVY
(puzzled)
Symphony, sir?

(CONTINUED)
97.

205C CONTINUED: (2) 205C

HYDE
(with scorn)
Yes - where all the toffs go - when
they're respectable. When they'd
rather tell a girl her garter's too
tight than to say what's really in
their thoughts -!

IVY
(a little crestfallen)
Well, sir - I sort of hoped we could -
(stops, looks at him
a little puzzled as
the word "garter"
rings in her past
unconscious mind)
What makes you say -?

HYDE
(quickly - gaily)
So you want to go out, eh?

IVY
(thinking this his
assent)
Oh, yes, sir! I'll go put on my things
and -!

HYDE
(sweetly)
We're not going!

IVY
(turning back to him)
Sir -?

HYDE
(mimicking her)
Because the entertainment is ever so
gay and nice right here!

He smiles at her evilly, chuckles a little. She turns away
with a sudden desperate gesture, putting both hands over her
brow.

HYDE
(gently)
Now we've got to think of what we'll
do, don't we?
(as she says nothing)
Let's see shall we play cards? No,
you're probably tired of cards --
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
98.

205C CONTINUED: (3) 205C

HYDE (CONT'D)
(as she still stands,
her face covered)
You could read to me, couldn't you?
Milton's Paradise Lost would be nice -
but we haven't the book here - and
you don't know it from memory, do
you?
(suddenly)
Oh! I know. You remember what we
like!
(leaning over toward
her softly)
Sing to me...

Ivy turns slowly. Her eyes widen in horror. She starts to
break.

IVY
(with a sudden sob)
Oh, no - please, sir - not that -!

HYDE
Not in good voice -?

IVY
It isn't that, sir. It -

HYDE
(in sweet reproof)
Why! It's such a pretty song!

IVY
(wringing her hands,
starting to sob)
Oh, please, sir - not tonight!

HYDE
Sing it gaily!

IVY
I - I can't - truly -!

HYDE
(his tempo accelerating)
Then softly - with compassion...

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Tone: Dark, Sinister, Manipulative, Menacing

Summary Hyde plays a cruel game with Ivy, manipulating her emotions and denying her desire to escape. As Ivy becomes increasingly desperate, he switches between promising and reneging on plans to go out, then mocks her language and suggests she sing for him. Overwhelmed, Ivy breaks down, unable to fulfill his demand.

Strengths

Effective tension-building
Complex character dynamics
Menacing dialogue

Weaknesses

Potentially triggering content
Emotional distress for characters

General Critique

The scene between Hyde and Ivy is manipulative and tense, with Hyde toying with Ivy's emotions and desires.
Hyde's behavior towards Ivy is cruel and sadistic, creating a sense of fear and vulnerability in Ivy.
The dialogue and interactions between Hyde and Ivy highlight the power imbalance and emotional manipulation at play.
The scene effectively conveys Ivy's desperation and hopefulness, as well as Hyde's sinister intentions and control over her.
The visual elements, such as Ivy rearranging cards and Hyde's menacing demeanor, enhance the tension and emotional impact of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more depth to Ivy's character to further explore her emotions and motivations in the scene.
Enhance the dialogue to emphasize the psychological manipulation and power dynamics between Hyde and Ivy.
Explore Ivy's internal conflict and struggle in more detail to add complexity to her character.
Provide more context or backstory to explain Ivy's vulnerability and why she is susceptible to Hyde's manipulation.
Consider incorporating subtle visual cues or gestures to convey Ivy's inner turmoil and emotional state more effectively.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

IVY
Please, sir - if you'll just do me
the favor -

HYDE
With loving kindness even...

(CONTINUED)
99.

205C CONTINUED: (4) 205C

IVY
(sobbing more -
terrified now)
Don't ask me to - please, sir -!

HYDE
Then moodily. That's it - with deep
mood!

IVY
Oh, sir - whatever you like - but
for the love of -!

With a lightning-like movement, his gentle taunting turns to
a fierce, vicious command as he pinches her chin between his
thumb and fore-finger. His eyes widen in fury.

HYDE
I said sing!

IVY
(with almost a scream)
But, sir -!

HYDE
Sing it! You hear me?

Ivy slowly nods, looks about a little hysterically, backs
away a little, as if to an accustomed position before him,
and pathetically, between sobs, starts to sing a version of
Champagne Charlie in which she substitutes the words
"Champagne Ivy is my name..."

205D CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 205D

He leans forward on the table, watching her with horrible,
rising satisfaction, swaying slightly to the music.

HYDE
That's it! Smile when you sing! Be
gay! Be happy!

205E CLOSE SHOT - IVY 205E

As she sings, not looking at him, but everywhere else in the
room that she can. As she finishes she just stands there and
sobs.

205F TWO SHOT - HYDE AND IVY 205F

HYDE
(as she finishes)
Bravo! Bravo! A prima donna is born!
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
100.

205F CONTINUED: 205F

HYDE (CONT'D)
Let's draw her carriage through the
streets! Let's shower her with
orchids!

With this he picks up a bunch of grapes and throws them at
her. They smash against her breast, leaving a huge smear. He
leaps over at her, as WE DOLLY IN CLOSE. His voice is now
low and rampant with desire, as he enfolds her in his arms.

HYDE
Congratulations, my dear!... the
world is yours! The moment is
mine -!

She tries to pull away from him, but he pulls her in to him
savagely, and kisses her. She all but faints under it, and
wilts in his arms, her whole body sagging. He looks down at
her, pulls her arms about his neck, lifts her up, with a
look o.s., as we

FADE OUT:

206 OUT. 206

207 FULL SHOT - EXT. BACK DOOR OF LAB - NIGHT 207

Hyde hurries into scene as WE DOLLY IN. He looks left and
right, [...], then unlooks the door and ducks in.

208 FULL SHOT - INT. LAB 208

Hyde lights gas lamps, then takes off his cape and hat, then
quickly goes to [...], picks out a vial, comes to table and
pours contents into a glass. He looks about crazily for a
second, then drinks it. He gets the same violent reaction as
from the "outward" phase. He writhes, grips table, etc., but
the change is much quicker than when he changes to Hyde.
Now, before our eyes, he becomes Dr. Jekyll. He seems sagging,
spent. He goes quickly to the mirror and looks at himself,
as WE DOLLY IN. He peers at, feels, his face anxiously, then
looks at his hands. Then he looks at himself in disgust, and
covers his face with his hands. He paces about a bit, silently
berating himself, his lips moving, his fist pounding the
table. He takes the back-door key out of his pocket, looks
at it, then over at the back-door. He makes a firm decision,
goes quickly to a small gas smelter, lights it, puts in a
chunk of lead, holds the key in his hand, waiting. Suddenly,
there is a knock on the door, o.s., from house.

POOLE'S VOICE
Dr. Jekyll, sir?

JEKYLL
Oh - just a moment, Poole.

(CONTINUED)
101.

208 CONTINUED: 208

He hurries up the stairs, unlocks the front door, and Poole
follows him down stairs. Poole has dressed only in trousers,
coat and slippers.

POOLE
(relieved)
I saw the light. I'm so glad you're
back, Dr. Jekyll. I was worried,
sir. You'll pardon my appearance.

JEKYLL
I was called on an emergency. I stayed
at the house.

POOLE
Yes, sir. Oh, Dr. Lanyon called twice
today, sir - he said to tell you
that Miss Beatrix and her father
arrive home in the morning, sir.

JEKYLL
(starting)
In the morning?

POOLE
Yes, sir.
(smiling, kindly)
I was sure you'd wish to know, sir.

JEKYLL
(joy mixed with anxiety)
Yes... thank you, Poole... thank
you.

Genres: Horror, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Dark, Intense, Menacing, Emotional

Summary In this scene, Hyde forces Ivy to sing a song while mocking her, throws grapes at her, and kisses her before transforming back into Dr. Jekyll. Poole arrives to inform Jekyll of Miss Beatrix and her father's return, causing Jekyll to feel torn between joy and anxiety.

Strengths

Intense emotional impact
Complex character dynamics
Effective use of dialogue to convey tension and manipulation

Weaknesses

Potentially triggering content
Dark and disturbing themes

General Critique

The scene depicts a disturbing and abusive interaction between Hyde and Ivy, showcasing Hyde's sadistic and manipulative behavior.
The power dynamic between Hyde and Ivy is clearly portrayed, with Hyde exerting control over Ivy through fear and intimidation.
The emotional and physical abuse Ivy endures at the hands of Hyde is unsettling and highlights the toxic nature of their relationship.
Hyde's escalating aggression and Ivy's increasing fear create a tense and uncomfortable atmosphere, effectively conveying the horror of the situation.
The scene effectively conveys the psychological torment Ivy experiences, as she is forced to comply with Hyde's demands out of fear for her safety.
The use of dialogue and actions to show Hyde's cruelty and Ivy's helplessness is impactful and adds depth to their characters.
The scene effectively builds suspense and tension, leaving the audience on edge about Ivy's fate and the escalating abuse she faces.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more context or backstory to further explore the dynamics of the relationship between Hyde and Ivy, providing a deeper understanding of their interactions.
Focus on developing Ivy's character to show her strength and resilience in the face of abuse, highlighting her agency and inner turmoil.
Explore the aftermath of the scene to address the emotional and physical impact of the abuse on Ivy, allowing for a more nuanced portrayal of the consequences.
Consider incorporating moments of empowerment for Ivy to balance the depiction of abuse, showcasing her resilience and ability to overcome adversity.
Ensure that the scene's portrayal of abuse is handled sensitively and responsibly, avoiding gratuitous or sensationalized depictions of violence.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

POOLE
Could I fix you a bite of -?

JEKYLL
(quickly)
No.... nothing, thank you...
nothing...

POOLE
(starting upstairs)
Very good, sir.

JEKYLL
Oh, Poole - first thing tomorrow I
want you to get me a special messenger
from the district office. I'll give
him an envelope to deliver.

POOLE
(going out door)
Yes, sir. Goodnight, sir.

(CONTINUED)
102.

208 CONTINUED: (2) 208

JEKYLL
Goodnight, Poole...

WE DOLLY INTO JEKYLL as he walks to the smelter. It is now
molten hot and reflects on his face. He takes the key and
drops it into the boiling lead.

209 INSERT - KEY 209

Dissolving into the molten lead. Jekyll watches it. A great
relief comes over him, and he closes his eyes, lifting his
head, as we

FADE OUT.

FADE IN:

210 GROUP SHOT - INT. IVY'S PARLOR - DAY 210

Marcia is administering to Ivy's bruises on her shoulders.
Ivy is sobbing, angry and scared. Freddie, Marcia's gentleman
friend, stands by quite aghast.

MARCIA
(shaking her head)
... mmm - this is a bad one.

IVY
(wincing, between the
sobbing)
He's a beast, he is -- a dirty beast --

FREDDIE
Rotten shame. Why don't you run away
from the filthy beggar?

IVY
What's the use? I tried that once.
He found me and -- why he'd kill me
if I tried it again! Only last night
he --

211 BUT SHE STOPS... 211

...terrified, and they all look toward the door as there is
a knock on it.

MARCIA
(bracing herself)
Who is it?

MESSENGER'S VOICE
Special messenger - for Miss Ivy
Pearson.

(CONTINUED)
103.

211 CONTINUED: 211

MARCIA
(to Freddie)
Get it, Freddie.

Freddie nods and WE PAN HIM up the steps to the door, which
he opens, showing messenger. Latter hands him the envelope.

FREDDIE
Any answer?

MESSENGER
No, guv'nor.

Freddie gives the messenger a coin, and comes down, handing
the envelope to Ivy. She opens it, as they watch. She pulls
out a sheaf of bank notes.

IVY
(in wonder)
Look here -!

MARCIA
(picking up and
counting notes)
I say! Fifty pounds.
(looking in envelope)
But there's no letter with it. This
from him...?

FREDDIE
The blighter must've sent it for
what he's done.

IVY
Not him - the rotten skinflint - and
he don't care nohow...

MARCIA
(finding a solution,
practical)
Well - no matter who sent it, it's
here. And it's more than enough to
get you out of the country.

FREDDIE
Jolly good idea! I've got a friend
in Paris who'll be only too glad to --

IVY
(jumping up suddenly,
a little wildly)
No, no! Don't you see? It's a trick -
one of his horrible cat-and-mouse
tricks - just to torture me!
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
104.

211 CONTINUED: (2) 211

IVY (CONT'D)
(starts pacing floor,
holding sides of her
head with both hands)
That's what he hopes I'll do - use
it to run away. I can just see his
pig eyes thinkin' it up. He'll let
me think I've almost got free and
then - You don't know him, I tell
you! I can't stand it any more, I
can't! If I only could do it I'd go
down to the river and --!
(slumps down in chair
again and sobs)

MARCIA
It's her nerves, that's what. She
ought to see a doctor.

FREDDIE
She ought to see one of thos mental
fellers. I know a feller who cured
the mater of the vapors or something.
I'll go and get the address.

DISSOLVE TO:

212 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL AND BEATRIX - INT. HER DRAWING ROOM 212

Beatrix and Jekyll are seated on a couch. They are holding
hands. He cannot take his eyes from her. Beatrix has been
crying.

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Romance
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Dark, Intense

Summary Dr. Jekyll requests a special messenger for the following day and melts down a key, feeling relieved afterwards. Ivy receives a mysterious envelope containing money and fears it's from Hyde. Jekyll appears carefree with Beatrix, while Ivy remains terrified.

Strengths

Complex characters
Emotional depth
Tension-filled dialogue

Weaknesses

Some predictable elements in character interactions

General Critique

The transition from Jekyll asking Poole to deliver an envelope to Ivy's parlor is abrupt and lacks a smooth connection.
The emotional intensity of Ivy's situation, with her bruises and fear of Hyde, is not fully explored or developed in this scene.
The dialogue between Ivy, Marcia, and Freddie feels rushed and lacks depth in conveying the emotional turmoil Ivy is experiencing.
The revelation of the 50 pounds in the envelope and Ivy's reaction to it could be more impactful with a slower build-up and more nuanced delivery.
Ivy's breakdown and fear of Hyde's manipulative tactics could be portrayed with more subtlety and psychological depth.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more context to Ivy's situation and emotional state before the arrival of the messenger to create a stronger impact.
Allow the dialogue between Ivy, Marcia, and Freddie to unfold more naturally, giving space for Ivy's emotions to be fully expressed and understood.
Explore Ivy's internal conflict and fear of Hyde's manipulation in a more nuanced and layered manner to enhance the tension and suspense in the scene.
Build up the revelation of the 50 pounds in the envelope to create a more dramatic and emotionally resonant moment for Ivy.
Focus on Ivy's psychological turmoil and the complexity of her relationship with Hyde to deepen the audience's understanding of her character.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BEATRIX
... but you should have written me.
I should be the first to know when
you are ill. If I'd known you were
that ill I'd have come home at once.

JEKYLL
But, Bee darling - don't you see? I
knew that and I - I didn't know what
to say. I didn't want to worry you...

Beatrix wipes away a last tear, and then puts her hand on
his cheek.

BEATRIX
Oh, my poor lamb - your face looks
so drawn...

Jekyll recaptures her hand.

(CONTINUED)
105.

212 CONTINUED: 212

JEKYLL
(a little anxiously)
But when you look in my eyes - you
see what you've always seen, don't
you?

BEATRIX
(softly, smiling)
Yes... I carried that look all over
the Continent - locked up inside of
me.

JEKYLL
(almost like a vow)
It will always be there - always....
(then, enfolding her
in his arms)
Oh, that's what I wanted to hear!
And now that you're back, I'll never
let you go again. We've got to be
married right away, Bee. I can't --
I can't wait all this time...

BEATRIX
(gently, pleased by
his ardor)
Such a wonderful part of love -- to
be needed that much...

JEKYLL
(seriously)
Need you? I need you more than -
(breaks off, passes
hand over his brow)
While you've been gone - it's been -

BEATRIX
(ecstatically)
But it's all right now. No more
goodbye's for you and me - ever -

JEKYLL
(with an excited laugh)
That's it! Just Hellos!

BEATRIX
Ever and ever. Hello, Dr. Jekyll.

JEKYLL
Oh, Bee --

They kiss, and then he holds her close. Then they turn as
they hear a door closing o.s.

(CONTINUED)
106.

212 CONTINUED: (2) 212

SIR CHARLES' VOICE (O.S.)
(cheery)
Where's my daughter, Hobson?

HOBSON'S VOICE (O.S.)
In the drawing room, sir.

Beatrix and Jekyll rise, Beatrix retains his hand and WE PAN
THEM across the room as they meet Sir Charles entering.

SIR CHARLES
(extending his hand)
Ah! Well, well, Harry....

JEKYLL
(as they shake hands)
I hope I'm welcome again, sir.

SIR CHARLES
Can't think of any reason why you
shouldn't be. How've you been? Beatrix
read me some of your letters.
Interesting.

BEATRIX
Father, Harry won't admit it. But
because he was so upset, he's been
very ill while we were away -

SIR CHARLES
Oh, I'm sorry, my boy - feeling fit
again?

JEKYLL
(grinning)
With Bee back, sir? Well!

BEATRIX
(bluntly but calmly)
And this leads me to speak very
plainly, Father. It's in my heart -
and I must say it. I want to be
married just as soon as possible.

SIR CHARLES
Now, my dear - you know I said that -

BEATRIX
Father, I respect you more than any
girl could. But Harry and I - we've
waited so long. And if you don't
consent, I'll go away with him. I
mean it this time. That's how much
Harry and I are in love, Father...
I'd even hurt you to safeguard it.

(CONTINUED)
107.

212 CONTINUED: (3) 212

SIR CHARLES
(hardly believes his
ears)
Beatrix...!

JEKYLL
(impulsively)
I swear, sir - you'll never have any
regrets.

BEATRIX
It's my whole life, Father. Don't
make me hurt you! Isn't my happiness
reason enough?

SIR CHARLES
(after quite a pause,
gently)
Your happiness is my life, my dear.
(with s smile, holding
out his arms)
All right. Next month it shall be.

Beatrix goes into his arms with a glad cry. Sir Charles holds
her a second, tries to hide a tear. He extends a hand to
Jekyll.

SIR CHARLES
Come to dinner tomorrow, eh, Harry?
I should like to make a formal
announcement to our friends.

Genres: Drama, Romance
Tone: Anxious, Passionate, Tense, Emotional, Hopeful

Summary Beatrix confronts Jekyll for not informing her about his illness, leading to a heartfelt apology and a marriage proposal. After Beatrix threatens to elope with Jekyll, her father eventually agrees to their marriage. The scene ends with Sir Charles inviting Jekyll to dinner to announce their engagement.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character development
Tension building
Engaging dialogue

Weaknesses

Some cliched romantic tropes

General Critique

The scene lacks depth in emotional exploration between Beatrix and Jekyll. While there is a sense of urgency and passion in their desire to get married, the emotional turmoil and conflict within each character could be further developed.
The dialogue feels somewhat rushed and lacks subtlety in conveying the characters' emotions. There is a need for more nuanced and layered conversations to truly capture the complexity of the situation.
The transition from Beatrix expressing her disappointment to suddenly proposing marriage feels abrupt and could benefit from a more gradual buildup of tension and resolution.
The scene could benefit from more visual cues to enhance the emotional impact, such as close-ups of the characters' expressions or body language to convey their inner turmoil.
The interaction between Sir Charles, Beatrix, and Jekyll at the end of the scene feels somewhat predictable and lacks a deeper exploration of the characters' motivations and conflicts.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal monologue or introspective moments for both Beatrix and Jekyll to delve into their conflicting emotions and desires.
Focus on creating more natural and organic dialogue that reflects the characters' inner struggles and desires, rather than relying on straightforward declarations.
Introduce more subtle gestures or actions to convey the characters' emotions, such as a lingering touch or a meaningful glance, to add depth to the scene.
Build up the tension and stakes gradually throughout the scene to create a more engaging and emotionally resonant moment of decision and resolution.
Explore the dynamics between Sir Charles, Beatrix, and Jekyll in a more nuanced way to add layers to their interactions and highlight the complexities of their relationships.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

JEKYLL
(wringing his hand,
inarticulate)
Oh, yes, sir - thank you, sir - thank
you -!

DISSOLVE TO:

213 FULL SHOT - FOYER - INT. JEKYLL'S HOUSE 213

Jekyll is coming in, by his key.

JEKYLL
(calling, as he does
so)
Poole - Poole -!

POOLE
(hurrying in)
Oh, yes sir!

(CONTINUED)
108.

213 CONTINUED: 213

JEKYLL
Poole - look at me - I'm
delirious -!

POOLE
What, sir?

JEKYLL
(flinging him his
cape)
I should be put in a straight-jacket,
Poole! Before I make everybody
envious!
(putting his hat on
Poole's head)
But instead I crown you King of the
Gypsies - because you shall be the
first to know! I'm going to be
married, Poole.

POOLE
(his face lighting up)
Oh, splendid, sir. When, sir?

JEKYLL
Next month! Next month she'll be in
this very house - Mrs. Henry Jekyll!
And the walls will turn to cloud
banks - and you'll be taking your
orders from an angel!

POOLE
(removing hat)
I'm so very glad, sir.

JEKYLL
(as we PAN HIM to
side door)
I must get the call list from the
consulting room. You can take it to
Sir Charles. He wants it for the
invitations.

POOLE
(following him)
There's a patient here, sir - without
appointment.

Jekyll opens the door to the consulting room.

214 FULL SHOT - INT. CONSULTING ROOM 214

Jekyll stops full in his tracks, as he sees Ivy sitting there.
She rises from the chair, her strained and worried expression
changing to child-like pleasure and surprise at seeing him.

(CONTINUED)
109.

214 CONTINUED: 214

IVY
Why - why it's you, sir!

POOLE
(behind Jekyll, in
explanation)
This is Miss Pierson, sir.

JEKYLL
(strained)
Yes... yes, Poole. I'll give you the
list later.

POOLE
Very good, sir.

He bows out. Ivy comes slowly toward him.

IVY
So you're the famous Dr. Jekyll?
Now, who'd have thought we'd meet
again like this?
(watches him as he
makes no answer)
I was the one you and your friend
took home that night - remember,
sir?

JEKYLL
(nailed, but striving
for calm)
Why - oh, yes - yes, of course..

IVY
Oh, I'm so glad it's you, sir! You
were so kind and good to me that
night! Maybe you can --

JEKYLL
What - ah - what brought you here,
Miss Pierson?

Ivy is reminded of her plight. With a little sobbing murmur,
she pulls off her coat and slips her shirtwaist off her
shoulder, baring it to him and displaying streaks of welts
and marks.

IVY
There, sir! That's what! Look at
that!
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
110.

214 CONTINUED: (2) 214

IVY (CONT'D)
(as Jekyll makes no
answer, only stares
with hypnotized horror
at the shoulder)
Pretty, ain't it? Did you ever see a
thing like that before, sir?

JEKYLL
It's - it's horrible...
(then collecting
himself, starts for
desk)
I'll give you some lotion to soothe
that.

But Ivy stops him quickly. She begins to break down more.

IVY
Lotion! It won't be lotions'll do
the trick, sir! No! It's more than
that, sir. I need help, I do! I can't
stand it any more!
(as Jekyll can only
look at her)
It's Hyde, sir - a man I know - Mr.
Hyde, sir! It's him as done it, and
more I can't tell you, sir. He ain't
human, he ain't. He's a beast! He
won't let me go, sir! And I'm afraid
to - I'm afraid to run away....

During this he has slumped down on arm of chair. She continues
to explain.

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Tone: Tense, Disturbing, Anxious, Horror, Hopeful

Summary Jekyll arrives home excited about his upcoming marriage, but his joy is interrupted when Ivy shows up with marks on her shoulder, revealing she is being abused by Hyde. Jekyll is horrified and struggles to find a way to help Ivy, who breaks down and reveals the extent of the abuse she is facing.

Strengths

Intense emotional impact
Complex character dynamics
Revealing crucial plot information

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly dramatic or cliched

General Critique

The scene starts with a sudden shift in tone from Jekyll's excitement about his upcoming marriage to the distressing appearance of Ivy, creating a jarring transition for the audience.
Jekyll's initial reaction to Ivy's presence is strained and lacks a genuine response, making his character appear disconnected and insincere.
The dialogue between Jekyll and Ivy feels forced and lacks depth, failing to convey the emotional intensity of Ivy's situation and Jekyll's internal conflict.
The scene lacks subtlety in portraying Ivy's distress and Jekyll's discomfort, resulting in a lack of nuance and complexity in their interaction.
The visual cues, such as Ivy baring her shoulder to reveal marks, are too on-the-nose and could be more effectively conveyed through subtle gestures and expressions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider building up the tension and emotional stakes gradually to create a more impactful and believable interaction between Jekyll and Ivy.
Focus on developing Jekyll's internal conflict and emotional turmoil in response to Ivy's distress, adding depth and complexity to his character.
Enhance the dialogue to reflect the intensity of Ivy's situation and Jekyll's struggle with his dual identity, creating a more compelling and authentic exchange between the characters.
Use subtle gestures and expressions to convey Ivy's distress and Jekyll's discomfort, allowing for a more nuanced and realistic portrayal of their interaction.
Explore ways to create a more nuanced and layered scene that captures the emotional complexity of the characters and their conflicting emotions.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

IVY
Marcia - she's my girl friend - and
Freddie, Mr. Willoughby - he's her
friend... they says it's my nerves -
and they says as how you know about
such things and could help me, sir.
(then sinking down on
her knees, clinging
to him)
But, oh sir - I can't bear up no
more under it, sir. If - if you can
do nothing for me, then give me some
poison so I can kill myself....

She breaks down completely now and sobs on his lap.

(CONTINUED)
111.

214 CONTINUED: (3) 214

JEKYLL
(in agony - but
guarded, too)
Why didn't you seek help before? Why
didn't you go to the police?

IVY
(looking up at him)
I tell you I'm afraid, sir! You
don't know him, sir. A nice fine
gentleman like yourself wouldn't be
meeting such a person! He ain't a
man - he's a devil! He knows what
you're thinking about, he does!
Why, if he knows I've been here today,
I don't know what he'll do. It won't
be nothin' human, I can tell you!
Oh, please, sir - please help me.
Keep him off -!
(in a lower voice,
hastily - pleading)
I'll do anything you ask, sir - I
ain't as bad as you might think -and -
and men say as I ain't a bad looker
when I'm more myself. You - you liked
me once a little, didn't you, sir?
And you're really such a fine kind
gentleman - honest - that night you
walked out of my place, I laughed at
you - but I didn't laugh after you'd
gone...
(averts her head,
puts her cheek on
his knee)
I kept wishin' you'd come back -
truly, I did...

For a moment, Jekyll stares at her head. And for a flash
second, he seems as though he is about to lean over and
embrace her with the strange look of Hyde battling for
supremacy in his expression. Then he contains himself and
lifts her up, as he stands too.

JEKYLL
I - I give you my word that you will
never be troubled by this man Hyde
again.

IVY
(sobbing anew)
But - but how do you know, sir? He'll
come back! He'll come back and kill
me, sir!

(CONTINUED)
112.

214 CONTINUED: (4) 214

JEKYLL
He'll not come back. I'll see to it.

IVY
But you don't know him, sir. He ain't
human, he ain't!

JEKYLL
(very strong)
I've given you my word - and that I
never break. You'll not see Hyde
again!
(pause, as she looks
at him)
You must believe me.

IVY
(fully convinced)
I believe you, sir. I believe you.

JEKYLL
You - you must go now.

IVY
Yes, sir. Yes, sir..... yes, sir.

She puts on her coat and goes to the door, then turns.

215 CLOSE SHOT - IVY - AT DOOR 215

She looks at Jekyll o.s., puzzled.

IVY
It's funny - but for a moment I
thought -
(then she stops)
Well... goodbye, sir.

She exits.

216 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 216

He reacts to her statement. WE PAN HIM to the mirror where
he examines his face, as we

FADE OUT:

(CONTINUED)
113.

216 CONTINUED: 216

FADE IN:

217 FULL SHOT - REGENT'S PARK - EARLY EVENING 217

It is still light, the shadows long. The birds are twittering.
In the far b.g., through the trees, we see sheep dotting the
greensward.

DISSOLVE TO:

218 FULL SHOT - PARK ENTRANCE 218

Mr. Weller, the Park Keeper, is idling about the entrance as
Jekyll comes gaily into the Park. Jekyll is dressed for the
evening, in tails, cape, silk hat and stick.

JEKYLL
(hailing him gaily)
Mr. Weller, Mr. Weller - good evening!

The Park Keeper falls in beside him as we TRUCK WITH THEM.

PARK KEEPER
Dr. Jekyll! The days keep beautifully
long this time of the year.

JEKYLL
Beautiful - wonderful! How's little
Annie's cough?

PAAK KEEPER
The medicine you gave her done the
trick. She's only whooped twice in a
week!

JEKYLL
Splendid, splendid!

Genres: Drama, Thriller
Tone: Anxiety, Fear, Hope, Desperation

Summary Ivy, terrified of Hyde, seeks refuge with Dr. Jekyll, offering herself to him in exchange for protection. Jekyll declines but assures her that she's safe from Hyde, offering a moment of resolution for Ivy.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character development
Tension building

Weaknesses

Potential predictability
Lack of external action

General Critique

The scene is emotionally charged and intense, with Ivy seeking help from Dr. Jekyll to protect her from Hyde's abuse.
There is a sense of desperation and fear in Ivy's plea for help, which adds depth to her character and the situation.
Dr. Jekyll's internal struggle between his compassionate side and the darker side represented by Hyde is subtly portrayed.
The moment where Jekyll almost embraces Ivy with a hint of Hyde's influence is a powerful visual representation of his inner conflict.
The scene effectively conveys Ivy's vulnerability and fear of Hyde, as well as Jekyll's determination to protect her.
The dialogue between Ivy and Jekyll is poignant and reveals the complexity of their relationship and the gravity of the situation.
The scene sets up a sense of suspense and anticipation for the resolution of Ivy's predicament and Jekyll's involvement in it.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more physical actions or gestures to enhance the emotional intensity of the scene.
Explore Ivy's character further to provide more context for her relationship with Hyde and her vulnerability.
Delve deeper into Jekyll's internal conflict and the struggle between his two personas to create a more nuanced portrayal.
Add subtle visual cues or symbolism to highlight the duality of Jekyll and Hyde within the scene.
Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the emotional turmoil of the characters.
Focus on building tension and suspense leading up to the resolution of Ivy's situation to engage the audience and create a compelling narrative arc.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

PARK KEEPER
(looking Jekyll up
and down)
You look much brighter yourself, sir -
beggin' your pardon.

WE HOLD as Jekyll stops and turns to the Park Keeper.

(CONTINUED)
114.

218 CONTINUED: 218

JEKYLL
(indicating with stick)
Mr. Weller - across the park, in Sir
Charles Emery's house - is a
beautifully set dinner table. In
exactly two hours -somewhere between
the beautiful smoked salmon and the
beautiful Camembert cheese - Sir
Charles will arise and beautifully
announce the coming marriage of myself
to the most beautiful girl in this
beautiful world!

PARK KEEPER
(grabbing his hand,
pumping it)
Dr. Jekyll - my congratulations! And
all the best to Mrs. Jekyll as is to
be.

JEKYLL
From you, Mr. Weller- that's an omen
for happiness.
(hand on Mr. Weller's
shoulder, in a whisper)
You don't blame me if I hurry?

PARK KEEPER
(calling after him)
God speed, Dr. Jekyll!

JEKYLL
Thank you, Mr. Woller!

He exits o.s., as Mr. Weller beams after him.

219 FULL SHOT - PARK - JEKYLL 219

He walks through a lovely setting, happily swinging his cane.

220 TRUCKING SHOT - JEKYLL 220

He walks along, smiling to himself. He starts to whistle. He
is whistling "Champagne Charlie"! He whistles it with great
volume and vehemence. He suddenly realizes what he is
whistling and stops it, a shadow crossing his face. Then he
smiles again, starts whistling "Drink To Me Only With Thine
Eyes", but before he realizes it, he is whistling "Champagne
Charlie" again. He stops short in his tracks, as he realizes
this. His hand passes over his brow. He tries to walk on,
straightening his shoulders. He seems to feel faint. He looks
about, a little confused, and WE PAN HIM as he goes to a
round bench under a tree and sits down.
115.

221 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - ON BENCH 221

He seems to be trying to get his breath. He rings his finger
around the edge of his collar. Then he contorts a little.
His face suddenly becomes strained and panic-stricken. His
hand goes to his throat. His face starts to contort more,
the lines deepening. With horror, his glance goes to his
hands. WE PAN DOWN. His hand, clutching the bench, is turning
more horribly grotesque than we have ever seen it. WE PAN
BACK UP. Jekyll is now nearing the change to Hyde! He looks
at his other hand. WE PAN DOWN. It is the same as the other.
WE PAN BACK UP to his face. It is almost that of Hyde. He is
in convulsions.

JEKYLL
(with a last desperate
cry)
Bee - Bee, darling -!

Then the writhings and gaspings, their course running quicker
than before. And suddenly, he is Hyde! He looks about,
craftily, viciously. A bird lights on the bench beside him.
He flails his cane at it. It flies away. He thinks a second,
getting his bearings in Evil. Then a thought strikes him.
His eyes glint. He starts to sing "Champagne Charlie" in a
horrible sing-song, swaying manner, and suddenly he gets up
with an animal leap, and WE PAN HIM as he runs leaping across
the green into the b.g., like a gorged buzzard racing for
another piece of carrion, as we --

DISSOLVE TO:

222 CLOSE SHOT - IVY - INT. HER PARLOR - NIGHT 222

She is quite tight, tipsily pouring champagne into a glass,
humming indistinctly to herself. Then she gets an idea and
WE PAN HER to mirror. She raises the glass.

IVY
(with hatred)
Here's hoping that Hyde rots wherever
he is - and burns slow when the time
comes!
(then softly,
passionately)
And here's hoping that Dr. Jekyll
thinks of his Ivy - like I know he'd
like to... like Ivy thinks of him...
'cause he's an angel. Here's to my
angel...

Her glass starts for her lips, when suddenly the door opens,
reflected in the b.g. Hyde stands there, staring at her. Ivy
turns with a gasp of horror and disbelief, drops the glass
to the floor.
116.

223 PAN SHOT - HYDE 223

He comes slowly down the stairs, throwing his hat and stick
on a table, eyeing the frozen Ivy all the while. He starts
across to her.

HYDE
Surprised?

IVY
(shocked to soberness)
Why, sir - I -

HYDE
It couldn't be that you didn't expect
to see me, could it?

IVY
Why, no, sir - I - I've been here
waitin' for you, sir. I -

HYDE
But you're celebrating. What? Some
new event - some change?

IVY
No, sir - I just thought I'd -

Genres: Drama, Thriller
Tone: Menacing, Intense, Emotional

Summary Dr. Jekyll excitedly informs Mr. Weller about his upcoming marriage proposal, but as he walks through the park, he begins to transform into Mr. Hyde. Despite his efforts to control the transformation, Jekyll succumbs to convulsions and becomes Hyde, setting a sinister tone for what is to come.

Strengths

Intense character dynamics
Emotional depth
Tension-filled dialogue

Weaknesses

Potentially triggering content

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from Dr. Jekyll's excitement about his upcoming marriage to Ivy's intoxicated state, creating a disjointed flow.
The sudden appearance of Hyde in Ivy's parlor lacks buildup and tension, diminishing the impact of his entrance.
The dialogue between Ivy and Hyde feels forced and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to explore the complex dynamics between the characters.
The transformation of Jekyll into Hyde is rushed and lacks the emotional intensity needed to convey the inner turmoil of the character.
The scene lacks subtlety in portraying Ivy's fear and Hyde's menacing presence, relying too heavily on explicit dialogue and actions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider building more suspense and anticipation leading up to Hyde's entrance in Ivy's parlor to enhance the dramatic impact.
Focus on developing the emotional complexity of Ivy and Hyde's interaction, delving deeper into their motivations and fears.
Refine the transition between Jekyll's transformation and Hyde's appearance to convey the psychological struggle more effectively.
Explore non-verbal cues and subtle gestures to convey Ivy's fear and Hyde's malevolence, adding layers to their dynamic.
Work on creating a smoother narrative flow between scenes to maintain coherence and engagement for the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

HYDE
(fury starting to win
over sarcasm)
Drinking to calm your nerves, perhaps?
It's your nerves, isn't it? Shouldn't
you see a doctor?

IVY
Oh, no, sir.
(going to wine cooler)
Would you like some wine, sir? I'll
get another glass and --

Hyde slaps the bottle from her hand.

HYDE
Jekyll's a good man. Dr. Henry Jekyll --

IVY
(now very startled)
Is - is he, sir? But I don't need
any --

HYDE
A gentleman, too - different than
any man you might know.
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
117.

223 CONTINUED: 223

HYDE (CONT'D)
(mimicking)
"A nice fine gentleman like yourself
wouldn't be meeting such a person -"
(as Ivy only stares
at him)
"... I ain't a bad looker when I'm
more myself..."
(as she starts to
back away, he follows
her)
He's the sort of man you get down on
your knees to, isn't he? -- A sweet,
dear, pure man you could believe and
trust...
(suddenly grabs her
wrist viciously)
He's a smug hypocritical coward,
that's what he is!

IVY
You - you couldn't know Dr. Jekyll --
know him intimately. I detest him
intimately -- from his lofty brain
to the soles of his virtuous feet.
And you -

HYDE
(mimicking)
"I'll do anything you ask, sir -"
(snarling again)
Well, you saw the respectable fool!
Clutched his halo and held it
straight, didn't he?

IVY
How - how'd you know all that?

HYDE
Why I know everything you say and
everything you think.

IVY
Then you - you must be truly somethin' -
the devil himself, then... because
Dr. Jekyll wouldn't tell you. He
ain't the kind that would -

HYDE
S-s-h! Would you keep a secret if I
told you? Promise?

IVY
What -?

(CONTINUED)
118.

223 CONTINUED: (2) 223

HYDE
I am Dr. Jekyll. I'm the angel you
want to love and adore.

IVY
(breaks away, back to
wall)
No - no -

HYDE
(wagging his finger
at her - following)
But you don't have to promise. Because
it's such a beautiful secret that
those who share it with me can't go
on living.

IVY
What - what are you going to do?

HYDE
(softly)
How does one usually stop a person
from living?

He makes a lunge at her, but she ducks from under him,
wrenches away from his grasp and, screaming, runs across
room, up the stair. Hyde gives a roar of glee and rage, leaps
over balustrade and intercepts her, as WE PAN. WE PAN BACK
as she runs screaming across the room, trying to get to a
window. Hyde leaps back and grabs her as she reaches divan.

224 EFFECT SHOT - SHOOTING OVER DIVAN 224

Hyde grabs her by the throat, bends her back.

IVY
(wild in her terror)
No - please, sir - I'll sing for
you, I will -
(starts singing)
"Champagne Ivy is my name. Champagne
Ivy is --"

Her voice chokes off.

HYDE
(yelling)
Now! Now you've got what you've
longed for!
(they start sinking
out of sight behind
divan)
Here - with your angel!
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)
119.

224 CONTINUED: 224

HYDE (CONT'D)
Embraced in the wings of your angel!
(as we hear Ivy choke
and gasp o.s.)
Leda - loved by her swan..!

After a second there is silence. Hyde gets up gasping. He
looks about, looks back at form below FRAME, and then WE PAN
as he picks up his hat and stick and starts for the door.
O.s. in the hall, we hear inaudible but growing murmurs.

225 FULL SHOT - UPPER HALL AND STAIR WELL 225

An elderly woman and her husband, and a couple of other
tenants are looking fearfully at Ivy's door. Marcia and
Freddie, both in evening dress, are hurrying up the stairs.

WOMAN
(down to them)
Somethin's happened! He's latherin'
the hide off her!

Genres: Drama, Horror, Thriller
Tone: Intense, Menacing, Terrifying, Sinister

Summary In a tense confrontation, Hyde accuses Ivy of substance abuse and reveals his knowledge of her true thoughts. Confessing to being Dr. Jekyll, he lunges at her, leading to a violent struggle that ends with Ivy's death. As Hyde flees, tenants gather outside her door, witnessing the aftermath.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Effective character dynamics
Emotional impact
High stakes

Weaknesses

Graphic violence
Disturbing themes

General Critique

The scene starts with Hyde accusing Ivy of drinking to calm her nerves, which sets a tense and confrontational tone.
Hyde's dialogue is filled with sarcasm, manipulation, and threats, creating a sense of fear and unease.
Ivy's fear and desperation are palpable in her interactions with Hyde, adding depth to her character and the scene.
The escalation of tension and violence as Hyde reveals his true identity as Dr. Jekyll is well-executed, creating a chilling and suspenseful atmosphere.
The physical confrontation between Hyde and Ivy, with Hyde grabbing her by the throat, adds a sense of danger and urgency to the scene.
The scene ends with a sense of impending violence and danger as Ivy pleads for her life and Hyde's true intentions become clear.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from Ivy to further explore her emotions and mindset during the confrontation.
Enhance the physicality of the scene to emphasize the power dynamics between Hyde and Ivy, making the threat more visceral.
Explore Ivy's backstory and motivations further to provide context for her fear and vulnerability in the face of Hyde's aggression.
Consider adding more sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene and heighten the tension and suspense.
Focus on building the psychological tension between Hyde and Ivy through subtle cues and gestures to enhance the psychological thriller aspect of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

FREDDIE
(to man above)
Come on - we better pop in and stop
it!

At this moment, Hyde comes out the door on the run, stops as
he sees them.

MAN
Hey, you - what've you been -?

He gets no further as Hyde brushes him aside with a roar,
careens down the stairs to Freddie and Marcia.

WOMAN
Stop him, the dirty -!

Freddie tries to grapple with Hyde, but Hyde knocks him down
with a blow from his cane, and as WE PAN, leaps over the
balustrade with a laugh in time to avoid other tenants who
come rushing up the stairs. In the b.g., below, he ducks out
of the door.

226 FULL PAN SHOT - EXT. STREET 226

Hyde comes out of the door, darts off down the street. A
couple of passers-by turn around and look at him as he leaves
the sidewalk, ducks across in front of a cab, hitting the
horse with his cane so that it rears and plunges, and then
disappears around a corner.

DISSOLVE TO:
120.

227 GROUP SHOT - INT. IVY'S PARLOR 227

We are shooting over back of divan. Marcia, Freddie, and
other tenants are looking horrified down at a constable who
is kneeling over Ivy's body o.s. Marcia, hard Marcia, is
sobbing. Freddie has his handkerchief to a bloody temple.

WOMAN
(in awe)
He done her in! How horrible!

CONSTABLE
(rising)
This here's the work of a friend!

MARCIA
(bursting out)
It was that Hyde did it, I tell you!

The constable turns, jumps to the window, opens it, starts
blowing his whistle vigorously.

DISSOLVE TO:

228 FULL SHOT - EXT. BACK JEKYLL'S LAB. 228

Hyde hurries into scene, looks about with triumphant little
chuckles, as he fumbles in his pockets for the key. WE DOLLY
IN. Then Hyde realizes he has destroyed the key. He tries
the heavy door with his shoulder, tries again. He gives up,
looks around, then WE PAN HIM as he darts along sidewalk to
corner, turns, and disappears.

229 FULL SHOT - AT FRONT CORNER 229

Hyde comes running from back corner full tilt, and WE PAN
HIM, after he peers around front corner of his house, along
front of house to entrance and the door, in far b.g.

230 CLOSE SHOT - AT FRONT DOOR - HYDE 230

He pulls out the wire plunger bell, frantically, then bangs
the heavy brass knocker on the door. He flies into a flurry
of animal rage in his impatience. Then the door opens about
a foot, held in that position by the heavy safety chain
stretching from jamb to door on the inside, and Poole's
startled face peers out. He withdraws a little at the man he
sees.

HYDE
Come - open up, you fool! I'm a friend
of Dr. Jekyll!

(CONTINUED)
121.

230 CONTINUED: 230

POOLE
D-D-Doctor Jekyll isn't at home,
sir...

Poole tries to close door but Hyde pushes his foot in, wedging
it open.

HYDE
Well, that doesn't make any -!
(then recovering)
What difference does that make? He
expects me! He told me to wait for
him, you idiot! Let me in!

POOLE
(firmly)
I know all of Dr. Jekyll's
friends -!

HYDE
Now look here - I'll have no insolent
talk like -

POOLE
You'll have to come back later.

HYDE
You open up or I'll bash this door
in!

POOLE
If you don't go away, I'll send for
the police!

As he says this, he stamps on Hyde's foot. Hyde withdraws
it, allowing Poole to slam the door closed. Then with an
inarticulate growl, Hyde looks about him for something. WE
PAN DOWN AND UP with him, as with superhuman strength, he
wrenches a foot scraper embedded in the brick stoop. He is
just about to use it to jimmy open the door between the handle
and the jamb, when he does a "double take" and looks o.s.

231 LONG SHOT - BOBBIE - HYDE'S ANGLE 231

Far down at the corner, he is just emerging into view,
strolling along the street at right angles to Hyde. He stops
and leans against a light post, folding his arms for a rest.

232 BACK TO HYDE 232

He realizes his plan is futile. He softly lowers the foot
scraper, tiptoes o.s.
122.

233 FULL PAN SHOT - HYDE 233

He scurries out from entrance to his house, and down the
street away from the bobbie.

DISSOLVE TO:

234 FULL SHOT - CHEAP COMMERCIAL SECTION - STREET 234

The street is empty. In the far background, across the street,
we see the skulking figure of Hyde, looking in the various
shops as he hurries along.

235 CLOSE PAN SHOT - HYDE 235

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Tone: Dark, Intense, Suspenseful, Menacing

Summary Hyde exhibits violent behavior, knocking down a man, attacking a horse, and causing chaos. Tenants accuse him of murder and confront him at Jekyll's lab, but Poole denies him entry, leading to a tense standoff as Hyde flees the scene.

Strengths

Intense emotional impact
Effective character development
Tension-filled dialogue
High stakes and conflict

Weaknesses

Graphic violence
Disturbing themes

General Critique

The scene transitions abruptly from Ivy's tragic fate to Hyde's frantic attempt to enter Jekyll's lab, which may feel disjointed and jarring for the audience.
The physical altercation between Hyde and the tenants is intense and violent, but the emotional impact of Ivy's death could have been explored further to deepen the audience's connection to the characters.
Hyde's aggressive behavior towards Poole lacks subtlety and nuance, making the confrontation feel more like a generic villainous act rather than a complex character moment.
The scene lacks a clear emotional throughline, jumping from Ivy's death to Hyde's failed attempts to enter Jekyll's lab without a strong narrative thread to tie them together.
The pacing of the scene feels rushed, with Hyde's actions escalating quickly without allowing for moments of tension or suspense to build.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a transitional moment or a brief reflection on Ivy's fate to provide a smoother segue into Hyde's actions.
Explore the emotional aftermath of Ivy's death on the characters present in the scene to add depth and complexity to their reactions.
Add layers to Hyde's interaction with Poole by incorporating elements of manipulation, intimidation, or psychological tension to make the confrontation more engaging.
Establish a clearer narrative flow by connecting Ivy's death to Hyde's actions in a more cohesive manner, ensuring a smoother progression of events.
Adjust the pacing of the scene by allowing for moments of tension, suspense, and character development to unfold organically, creating a more engaging and impactful sequence.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

He seems to be searching for a certain shop, passing a
butcher's, a shoemaker's, a wine shop, a plumbing shop, notion
store, etc., peering into each with a sort of desperation.
Finally, o.s. ahead of him, he sees what he wants. His face
lights up. He is just about to start for it, when he looks
down the street o.s., from where we hear the sound of trotting
hooves. He ducks into a dark recess, watches.

236 PAN SHOT - HIS ANGLE - TWO MOUNTED BOBBIES 236

They trot down the street, looking this way and that.

237 BACK TO HYDE 237

He watches them o.s., as the sound of their horses' hooves
disappears. Then WE DOLLY AND PAN HIM as he hurries a few
paces down the black street until he comes opposite a store
window which reads: "Grundy & Co. Stationery Supplies". He
peers in the window.

238 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE'S ANGLE - STATIONERY, INK AND PENS. 238

They are on display.

239 BACK TO HYDE 239

He tries the door of the shop; of course, it isn't open. He
looks about, sees a newspaper rack - a heavy wooden standard -
seizes it, raises it above his head and smashes the window
with it. He reaches in and snags paper, ink bottle, pen.
Envelopes and paper scatter over the walk. Almost immediately,
a light goes on in back of the store as a door opens and a
man and his wife and an older woman rush into the front part
of store. Hyde is now scooting up the sidewalk toward the
b.g. The store folk come out, in nightclothes, viewing the
wreckage, spying Hyde darting up the street.

OLD WOMAN
(screaming)
There he goes -!

(CONTINUED)
123.

239 CONTINUED: 239

MAN
(still sleepy, running
about in circles)
This ain't no place to rob...

YOUNGER WOMAN
(yelling)
But robbed it is -!
(calling up street)
Help - police!
(viewing shattered
glass)
Ooo, the window - and just been
cleaned, too!

DISSOLVE TO:

240 FULL SHOT INT. FOYER - SIR CHARLES' HOME 240

The last of the guests are just taking their leave, men being
helped on with their capes by a couple of footmen. Atmosphere
is strained. Ad lib: (sotto voce) "A bit odd, isn't it...
I've heard strange things about this young Jekyll... after
all, that affair at the embassy... felt so sorry for poor
Beatrix." WE PAN ACROSS this to pick up Sir Charles and
Beatrix in the far b.g., bidding goodnight to a weezy old
bloke. Lanyon is staying behind, hovering in the b.g.

241 GROUP SHOT - AROUND SIR CHARLES AND BEATRIX - DRAWING ROOM 241

UNCLE GEOFFREY
(the wheezy old bloke)
Goodnight, Charles.

SIR CHARLES
(keeping up appearances)
Goodnight, Geoffrey...

UNCLE GEOFFREY
(to Beatrix)
Sorry your young man was detained,
my dear.

BEATRIX
(very strained)
So am I, Uncle Geoffrey. It must
have been a matter of life or death -

UNCLE GEOFFREY
(uncomfortable, sensing
strain)
Of course. These doctors... never
can call their soul their own...

(CONTINUED)
124.

241 CONTINUED: 241

He goes o.s. Lanyon, Sir Charles and Beatrix are all
uncomfortable, as they watch him go. Hobson, the butler,
appears coming from the b.g., wearing top coat and carrying
his bowler.

HOBSON
(conscious of last
people leaving in
foyer, in a low voice)
I talked to Poole. Dr. Jekyll left
the house at seven to come here.
He's very worried, sir.

BEATRIX
(to Sir Charles)
There - you see, Father? There must
be something more than what you -

SIR CHARLES
(looking at Beatrix,
directly)
That is all, Hobson. Thank you.

HOBSON
(exiting o.s.)
Yes, sir.

WE DOLLY INTO GROUP as Hobson leaves. Sir Charles looks at
Beatrix.

BEATRIX
(bursting out)
Father, darling - don't look that
way -!

SIR CHARLES
(gently)
My dear - I forbid you to see that
man again...

BEATRIX
(anguished)
I'll disobey you, Father... why I
won't even have to disobey you!
Harry will come to me. Don't make a
scene out of this. You know there
must be a reason why he wasn't
here -!

DR. LANYON
(uncomfortable)
Sir Charles - if you'll excuse me -
it's late and I rather think I'd
better -

Genres: Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Anxious

Summary In the shadows of the night, Hyde frantically searches for a stationery store. Stumbling upon one, he shatters the window and seizes paper, ink, and a pen. The store owners emerge in alarm, witnessing Hyde's hasty escape. The scene then shifts to Sir Charles' home, where he and Beatrix bid farewell to a guest at a party. Their conversation quickly turns sour, as Beatrix confronts Sir Charles about Jekyll's absence.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Strong character dynamics
Compelling dialogue

Weaknesses

Violent actions may be disturbing to some viewers

General Critique

The transition from Hyde searching for a stationery store to the scene at Sir Charles' home feels abrupt and disconnected. There is a lack of smooth transition or logical progression between the two settings.
The sudden shift in tone from Hyde's criminal act to the strained atmosphere at Sir Charles' home is jarring and disrupts the flow of the screenplay.
The dialogue between Uncle Geoffrey, Sir Charles, and Beatrix lacks depth and emotional resonance, making the interaction feel superficial and unengaging.
The tension and conflict hinted at in the dialogue between Beatrix and Sir Charles are not effectively conveyed through the characters' actions and expressions, leading to a disconnect between what is said and what is shown on screen.
The introduction of Hobson and his brief conversation with Sir Charles feels out of place and does not contribute significantly to the scene or character development.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider revising the scene to create a smoother transition between Hyde's actions and the events at Sir Charles' home. This can be achieved by establishing a clearer connection or thematic link between the two settings.
Work on maintaining a consistent tone throughout the scene to ensure a cohesive and engaging narrative flow.
Enhance the dialogue between characters to add depth and emotional impact, allowing the audience to connect more with the characters' motivations and conflicts.
Focus on showing the tension and conflict between Beatrix and Sir Charles through subtle gestures, expressions, and body language to create a more compelling and authentic interaction.
Evaluate the relevance of introducing Hobson in this scene and consider integrating his role more seamlessly into the narrative to enhance the overall coherence of the screenplay.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

(CONTINUED)
125.

241 CONTINUED: (2) 241

BEATRIX
John - don't - we've nothing to hide
from you - from anybody. You're
Harry's friend - and mine -!

SIR CHARLES
(almost shouting)
Beatrix -!

BEATRIX
(her chin up)
Yes -?

SIR CHARLES
Please go to your room!

BEATRIX
Father, I -!

SIR CHARLES
(sternly)
You spoke yesterday of safeguarding
your happiness. You must admit you've
failed in that tonight. Now it's up
to me. Go to your room!

BEATRIX
(after a tense pause)
Very well, Father. But, tomorrow,
Harry will have an explanation. I
know that. And then I might be forced
to hurt you - very deeply....

With this, she turns, as WE PAN HER toward the stairs, and

DISSOLVE TO:

242 FULL SHOT - INT. HALL - LANYON'S HOUSE 242

Lanyon is just letting himself in with his key. Briggs, his
man, hurries in from the back of the house.

BRIGGS
Oh, yes sir -
(as he takes Lanyon's
hat, he picks up an
envelope from the
console)
There was a ring at the door a short
while ago, sir. I answered but there
was nobody there. I found this
envelope had been pushed under....

Lanyon takes it quickly, opens it. Two keys are inside, with
a note.
126.

243 CLOSE SHOT - LETTER - IN LANYON'S HAND JOHN - 243

I am in frightful trouble. I beg you to do what I ask.
Enclosed is the key to my laboratory, and one to the cabinet
marked D. Go there at once and get the vials marked A M S
and Z and bring them to your house. Remain there alone. At
midnight a man will call for the package. Give it to him. In
the name of Heaven - don't fail me.

Harry.

244 BACK TO LANYON AND BRIGGS 244

DR. LANYON
(after a second's
thought - taking hat
from Briggs)
I'm going out again.

BRIGGS
(following him to the
door)
Very good, sir.

DR. LANYON
(at door)
And, oh yes - I won't need you any
more tonight, Briggs. You may retire.

BRIGGS
(as Lanyon goes out)
Thank you, sir.

DISSOLVE TO:

245 CLOSE SHOT - CABINET D - INT. JEKYLL'S LAB 245

WE PULL BACK just as Lanyon's hand is inserting the key.
Poole is standing by him, puzsled by his mysterious attitude.

POOLE
Is Dr. Jekyll at the hospital? I
could fetch him whatever he wishes,
sir.

DR. LANYON
No...
(he selects from an
array of vials those
marked A, M, S, Z -
looks at them puzzled -
them to Poole)
You don't happen to know, I suppose -
what Dr. Jekyll uses any of these
vials for?

(CONTINUED)
127.

245 CONTINUED: 245

POOLE
(loyally)
I'm sure it's for some of his recent
experiments, sir.

Lanyon finds an empty vial case, starts putting in vials, as
we

DISSOLVE TO:

246 FULL SHOT - EXT. LANYON'S HOUSE 246

He is just about to turn into the walk leading up to the
front door when Hyde jumps out from behind the shadow of a
bush. Lanyon steps back, startled. He holds vial case under
his cloak.

HYDE
(impatiently)
Well, well - have you got it?

DR. LANYON
(gripping his stick)
I beg your pardon. What were you
doing hiding behind that -

HYDE
(in feeble grin of
explanation)
Just - just waiting for you, Dr.
Lanyon. I'm the man from Dr. Jekyll -
the package -
(then more like a
dope fiend)
Where is it? I'll take it now.

DR. LANYON
Step into the house for a moment,
please.

HYDE
No, no - there isn't time - there -!

DR. LANYON
(rather severely)
As Jekyll's friend, I have the right
to ask you a few questions. Come,
sir!

He starts on up the walk. Hyde looks after him wildly, as
though he would like to kill him. Then he follows him. As
they reach the door, we

DISSOLVE TO:
128.

247 PAN SHOT - INT. LANYON'S STUDY - HYDE AND LANYON 247

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Mystery
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dark

Summary Beatrix defies Sir Charles' orders, leading to a heated confrontation. Dr. Lanyon retrieves vials from Jekyll's lab and encounters Hyde, who demands the package. Lanyon insists on questioning Hyde, setting up a tense encounter in Lanyon's study.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Well-developed characters
High stakes

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly dramatic

General Critique

The scene starts with a tense confrontation between Beatrix and Sir Charles, where Beatrix insists on staying and Sir Charles orders her to go to her room. This conflict adds to the emotional intensity of the scene.
The introduction of Lanyon receiving a note from Jekyll adds a sense of mystery and urgency to the scene, setting up a potential conflict or revelation.
The interaction between Lanyon and Poole in Jekyll's lab creates a sense of intrigue and raises questions about Jekyll's experiments and the vials he uses.
The sudden appearance of Hyde at Lanyon's house adds a suspenseful element to the scene, hinting at a confrontation or revelation between the two characters.
The scene ends with a cliffhanger as Hyde and Lanyon enter the study, leaving the audience curious about what will happen next.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more dialogue or interactions between Beatrix and Sir Charles to further develop their relationship and the tension between them.
Provide more context or hints about the contents of the vials Jekyll asked Lanyon to retrieve, adding to the mystery and intrigue surrounding Jekyll's experiments.
Explore the dynamic between Hyde and Lanyon in more detail, delving into their past relationship or any conflicts they may have.
Build up the suspense and anticipation in the scene by adding more visual cues or foreshadowing of the impending confrontation between Hyde and Lanyon.
Consider ending the scene on a more impactful note, leaving the audience with a strong emotional or narrative beat to carry them into the next scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Lanyon has just removed his cape and hat in the hall. Hyde
eyes the vial case anxiously, as they walk into the study
and Lanyon goes behind his desk. He turns the lamp on the
desk higher. Hyde keeps his cape on, hat in hand.

HYDE
(as they walk, gruff)
Now come, Lanyon - let's not waste
time with a lot of prying questions.
Give me the -

DR. LANYON
(turning quickly)
I resent your attitude, sir. You
haven't even introduced yourself.

HYDE
(impatiently, twitching)
Hyde's the name. Mr. Hyde. But what
difference does -?

DR. LANYON
Are you an acquaintance of Jekyll?

HYDE
Of course. I'm a friend - an old
friend.
(reaching out his
hand, his voice rising)
But if you even pretend to be his
friend you'll forego your asinine
amenities and let me have that before -

DR. LANYON
Where is Dr. Jekyll?

HYDE
(getting more and
more impatient)
Oh, don't worry - he's alive - he -

DR. LANYON
What's the matter? Is he ill? Is -

HYDE
He'll be perfectly all right, I tell
you!

DR. LANYON
(opening drawer in
desk)
Very well, then. I'll go with you
and see for myself..

(CONTINUED)
129.

247 CONTINUED: 247

As he reaches in drawer, he takes his eyes off Hyde for a
second. The latter leaps across and grabs the vial case from
Lanyon's hand.

HYDE
(as he does so; with
a snarl)
You pretentious fool -!

But his expression changes as Lanyon whips a revolver out of
the drawer and covers him.

DR. LANYON
(evenly)
I warn you, Hyde. If you make one
step toward the door I'll shoot you
right between the eyes.

HYDE
(getting a trapped
feeling)
Now wait a moment, Lanyon - I can't
let you come with me - and I can't
tell you any more than I've already -

DR. LANYON
Why not?

HYDE
Because - well -
(then shouting)
I warn you not to stick your nose
into this! You better let me go,
Lanyon! You can ask Jekyll all about
it tomorrow if you want to!

DR. LANYON
You'll take me to Harry Jekyll this
minute!

HYDE
(screaming his
impotence)
For the last time, Lanyon - let me
out of here - alone!

DR. LANYON
For the last time - no!

HYDE
(wildly)
All right then! Let it be on your
own head!

(CONTINUED)
130.

247 CONTINUED: (2) 247

With a wild laugh, he takes out the vials and starts mixing
them. Lanyon watches this, puzzled, thinking him completely
mad. When the potion is all mixed, Hyde picks up the glass
and faces Lanyon. The potion boils and steams a little.

HYDE
Once more - will you let me take
this glass and leave?

DR. LANYON
(tense, still with
revolver)
No. This will be seen through to the
end.

HYDE
You'd better think again, Lanyon. Do
you want to live on as you have...
lulled in your blissful cocoon of
ignorance? Or do you want that safe
peace of mind - your reason even -
blasted by a sight that would shock
the lowest fiend in the Inferno?

DR. LANYON
(getting an awful
feeling, but game)
You can't persuade me with all that
mad babbling! Whatever you're going
to do - get on with it!

HYDE
Very well, Lanyon. But remember your
vows to your profession. You'll see
a secret you are sworn not to
reveal...you who have sneered at the
powers of science - you who have
laughed at man's ability to dissect
his own soul! Watch this, you pompous
ass! Watch this!

248 HE HOLDS THE GLASS HIGH... 248

...then drains it. Immediately he goes into his gasping
contortions, falls back into a chair. As the metamorphosis
from Hyde to Jekyll takes place, Lanyon watches it in horror.
With a final gasp, Jekyll finally leans back in his chair,
exhausted.

249 FULL SHOT - ROOM - TABLEAU - WEIRD LIGHT 249

As Lanyon stands watching, transfixed, the gun falling to
the desk.
131.

250 CLOSE SHOT - LANYON 250

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Menacing, Confrontational

Summary Hyde, seeking the vial case containing Jekyll's potion, confronts Lanyon. Lanyon suspects Hyde's intentions and refuses to hand it over without an explanation. Hyde evades Lanyon's questions but reveals his identity as an old friend of Jekyll. Lanyon remains hesitant, but Hyde snatches the case as Lanyon retrieves it. Lanyon threatens to shoot Hyde, who grows increasingly agitated and threatens to consume the potion. Despite Lanyon's warnings, Hyde drinks it, transforming back into Jekyll before Lanyon's horrified gaze.

Strengths

Intense conflict
Dramatic transformation
Suspenseful atmosphere

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly dramatic

General Critique

The scene lacks clarity in terms of character motivations and actions, making it difficult for the audience to fully understand the dynamics between Hyde and Lanyon.
The dialogue feels rushed and lacks depth, with Hyde's impatience and aggression coming across as one-dimensional.
There is a lack of subtlety in the interactions between Hyde and Lanyon, with Hyde's threats and Lanyon's responses feeling forced and melodramatic.
The tension in the scene could be heightened by building up the confrontation between Hyde and Lanyon more gradually, allowing for a more suspenseful and engaging exchange.
The transformation from Hyde to Jekyll at the end of the scene feels abrupt and lacks emotional impact, missing an opportunity to delve deeper into the internal struggle of the character.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more nuance to Hyde's character, exploring his motivations and inner conflict in a more subtle and layered way.
Slow down the pace of the dialogue to allow for more tension to build between Hyde and Lanyon, creating a more suspenseful and engaging confrontation.
Focus on the emotional journey of both Hyde and Lanyon throughout the scene, delving into their fears, desires, and vulnerabilities to create a more compelling dynamic.
Enhance the transformation from Hyde to Jekyll by adding more visual and emotional cues to convey the internal struggle and turmoil of the character.
Consider revising the dialogue to be more reflective of the characters' personalities and relationships, adding depth and complexity to their interactions.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

As he sinks into chair, opposite Jekyll.

DR. LANYON
(to himself)
Horrible...

251 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 251

He looks at Lanyon o.s., in mute appeal for a moment.

JEKYLL
(finally)
I warned you, John - even as Hyde, I
warned you...

252 TWO SHOT - LANYON AND JEKYLL 252

DR. LANYON
You - you mean those experiments -
they -?

JEKYLL
(nodding)
Yes, John...

Lanyon gets up and starts pacing nervously, as Jekyll watches
him.

DR. LANYON
It's sheer horror... I can't believe
it...
(stops in front of
Jekyll)
You see what you've done, don't you.
You've gone beyond - you've tampered
with - you've committed the supreme
blasphemy!

JEKYLL
(in great anguish
from here on)
I know - I know...

DR. LANYON
You must destroy the formula, do you
hear?

JEKYLL
I've done that.

DR. LANYON
But you must destroy it from your
mind! You must never take it again!

(CONTINUED)
132.

252 CONTINUED: 252

JEKYLL
know - but this evening - on my way
to - on my way to Sir Charles'...
you see, I always thought I could
control it, John - but this evening -
the change - the change to this -
this monster Hyde - happened without
anything - without -

He stops, unable to go on, covers his face with his hands.

DR. LANYON
(in awe) I)
T's diabolical...

JEKYLL
And it might happen again -
(lifts his face to
Lanyon, and pounds
chair arm with his
fist)
But I'll fight it! I'm going to fight
it -!
(then stops with a
sudden remembrance,
his face growing
blank with a new
horror)
Oh -!

He rises suddenly, walks across the room.

DR. LANYON
(watching him)
What -?

JEKYLL
I'm a murderer, John. A murderer!
(looking about wildly)
I who wanted to serve the living!

DR. LANYON
You mean you actually -?

JEKYLL
Yes! Tonight! There was a girl - a
poor beaten girl that I - that he
knew... and I went to her - and choked
her to death -
(incredulously looking
at his hands)
- choked out her life with these -
no, not with these hands - not with
these hands -!

(CONTINUED)
133.

252 CONTINUED: (2) 252

He sinks down into a chair again, covering his face, trying
to keep from hysteria. Lanyon walks to the fireplace, looks
into the flames.

DR. LANYON
Harry - Man cannot flaunt the Divinity
of Man without being eternally
damned...
(turns to Jekyll,
with quiet abruptness)
- what about Beatrix? Have you thought
of her?

JEKYLL
(he looks up slowly,
in a dull voice)
I'll have to give her up, of course...
(then, his hysteria
mounting)
I've known it all along - I'll have
to face it now - now when I need her
most - but I'll give her up! I promise
I will!
(now dropping to hoarse
pleading)
But John, after that I'll need more
help than ever. You can help me. You
must help me! I must win over this
thing! I must -

He stops as he realizes that Lanyon is looking at him with a
mixture of unrolenting condemnation and pity. He realizes he
is up against the inovitable. He chokes, buries his face in
his hands again, as we

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

253 UPPER HALL - JEKYLL'S HOUSE - NEXT MORNING 253

Poole comes up the steps, carrying a morning paper and a
tray of tea. As he walks, he reads the paper, uttering
clucking noises and shaking his head. We PAN HIM to Jekyll's
bedroom door. He opens it.

254 FULL SHOT - INT. JEKYLL'S BEDROOM 254

Jekyll, in his dressing gown, is leaning against the window,
looking out as Poole enters. The bed is turned down but not
slept in.

255 CLOSE SHOT - POOLE 255

As he enters, he looks at Jekyll o.s., and then at bed o.s.
134.

256 CLOSE SHOT - BED - POOLE'S ANGLE 256

It is just as he turned it down last night.

Genres: Drama, Horror, Thriller
Tone: Anguish, Horror, Desperation, Pleading

Summary In the aftermath of Dr. Jekyll's horrifying transformation into the monstrous Hyde, Dr. Lanyon confronts him about his secret experiments. Jekyll reveals the existence of a formula that allows him to transform into Hyde, confessing to murdering a girl while in that state. Lanyon, horrified, condemns Jekyll's actions as blasphemy and demands he destroy the formula and give up his fiancée. Jekyll, torn by guilt and remorse, agrees to face the consequences of his actions, leaving the audience with a sense of impending doom.

Strengths

Intense emotional depth
Exploration of moral dilemmas
Character development

Weaknesses

Heavy dialogue may require careful pacing to maintain tension

General Critique

The scene effectively conveys the inner turmoil and guilt that Jekyll is experiencing after realizing the consequences of his experiments.
The dialogue between Jekyll and Lanyon effectively reveals the depth of Jekyll's despair and the horror of his actions.
The emotional intensity of the scene is well portrayed through the characters' reactions and the unfolding of the confession.
The scene effectively sets up the internal conflict Jekyll is facing, as well as the external consequences of his actions.
The scene effectively builds tension and suspense as Jekyll reveals the extent of his transformation and the consequences of his actions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual elements to enhance the emotional impact of the scene, such as Jekyll's physical reactions to his confession.
Explore the use of symbolism or metaphor to deepen the themes of guilt and redemption in the scene.
Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the emotional turmoil of the characters.
Focus on creating a strong visual and emotional arc for Jekyll's character development throughout the scene.
Consider adding moments of introspection or reflection to further explore Jekyll's internal struggle and moral dilemma.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

257 BACK TO POOLE 257

He looks from the bed to Jekyll o.s.

258 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL 258

He feels Poole's hesitancy.

JEKYLL
(worn and haggard
looking)
Just put the tray down, Poole.

259 PAN SHOT - POOLE - WITH TRAY 259

He walks over to the bedside table.

POOLE
Yes, sir.
(puts paper down with
tray)
I don't know what things are coming
to, sir. If you'll forgive me - there
was the most ghastly murder in Diadem
Court last evening. A poor girl was -

260 FULL SHOT - ROOM 260

JEKYLL
(suddenly shouting) P)
Oole! Will you get out?

POOL
(shocked and puzzled)
Oh, yes sir. Very good, sir.

Poole retires, yet stopping to look back at Jekyll with a
worried look. When Poole has gone, Jekyll's eye goes to the
paper. He can't help himself. He goes over and picks it up.

261 CLOSE SHOT - HEADLINE AND STORY - IN JEKYLL'S HAND 261

GIRL MURDERED BY MONSTER Witnesses Tell of Beast Last evening
a man known only as "Hyde" and "an evil monster" by tenants
at --

262 BACK TO JEKYLL 262

He throws the paper from him. He sits down on the bed, grabs
the post, and raises his gaze upwards. He is in lonely
anguish.

(CONTINUED)
135.

262 CONTINUED: 262

JEKYLL
(praying)
This I did not intend. I thought I
was serving You. I saw a light - but
I did not realize it led only to
Darkness. Forgive me. Help me to -

He cannot go on, knowing he has lost the right even to ask
for help. His eyes close, and he leans his head against the
post, as we

DISSOLVE TO:

263 FULL SHOT - JEKYLL - EXT. SIR CHARLES' HOUSE - NIGHT 263

He comes hesitantly along the walk, stick in hand, the lights
from the house illuminating his drawn and agonized expression.
His pace slackens as he turns in through the grilled iron
gate as WE PAN and he walks toward the front door in the
b.g.

264 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - EXT. FRONT DOOR 264

He can hardly bring himself to pull the bell plunger. Suddenly
he is aware of the dim sound of a piano o.s. He realizes
that Beatrix is playing. WE PAN HIM as he walks down the
front of the house to the end of the "side" garden.

265 FULL SHOT - FORMAL SIDE GARDEN 265

Jekyll comes around the corner of the house and walks across
a small flagged veranda which leads from French windows of
the drawing room to the flower garden. The garden centers
about a small fountain and is set off with flower-bed patterns
and marble benches.

266 266 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - EXT. FRENCH DOORS 266

He peers through them in the b.g. We see Beatrix playing the
piano, a sad and worried expression on her face. Back of
her, and to one side, Sir Charles nods in a chair over a
paper.

267 CLOSE SHOT - JEKYLL - REVERSE ANGLE 267

We are on his tortured countenance for a second as he looks
o.s. at Beatrix. He half raises his hand as though to call
her attention by the movement.
136.

268 FULL SHOT - BEATRIX - OVER JEKYLL'S SHOULDER THROUGH FRENCH 268
DOORS

She suddenly sees him. She falters in her playing for a
second. Jekyll puts his finger to his lips. She continues
playing and finishes her piece very softly, watching Sir
Charles over her shoulder, who by now is quite asleep. Then
she gets up and hurries as quickly as possible without making
any noise to the French doors, opens them, and comes out to
Jekyll, closing the doors quietly.

BEATRIX
(seeing his strained
look)
Harry - dearest -

JEKYLL
(nodding toward garden)
Will you come out - where we can
talk?

She gives him a worried look, and then precedes him out into
the garden.

269 MED. SHOT - BEATRIX AND JEKYLL 269

As they come into SCENE, near a marble bench. He is greatly
agitated. He doesn't know where to begin. Beatrix sits down
on the bench. She indicates the place beside her.

BEATRIX
Sit down, darling - what's happened?
What's wrong?

Jekyll sits down, staring at the ground, wringing his hands.
For a moment, there is silence between them.

JEKYLL
(bursting out suddenly)
Bee -- I - I've been thinking --
about us. I think your father's been
right all along....

BEATRIX
About what?

JEKYLL
I - I don't think we should ever
marry, that's all. I - I realized
it, last night. And - and I think
you ought to break it off.

(CONTINUED)
137.

269 CONTINUED: 269

Genres: Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Agonized, Worried, Anguished, Desperate

Summary Jekyll discovers the murder committed by "Hyde" and is horrified. He realizes he has lost the right to ask for help and ends his engagement with Beatrix, leaving her heartbroken.

Strengths

Intense emotional depth
Character development
Tension-filled dialogue

Weaknesses

Some repetitive internal monologue

General Critique

The transition from Jekyll reading the newspaper to him arriving at Sir Charles' house feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
Jekyll's inner turmoil and anguish are well portrayed, but the dialogue could be more emotionally impactful to convey his inner conflict effectively.
The scene lacks a clear buildup of tension and suspense, especially considering the gravity of the situation Jekyll is facing.
The interaction between Jekyll and Beatrix could be more nuanced and emotionally charged to reflect the weight of the decision Jekyll is making.
The pacing of the scene could be improved to create a more engaging and impactful moment between Jekyll and Beatrix.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional cues to convey Jekyll's inner turmoil more effectively.
Enhance the dialogue between Jekyll and Beatrix to make the scene more emotionally resonant and impactful.
Build up the tension and suspense leading to Jekyll's decision to break off the engagement with Beatrix for a more dramatic effect.
Focus on the non-verbal cues and body language of the characters to enhance the emotional depth of the scene.
Consider adding a moment of reflection or hesitation from Beatrix to emphasize the impact of Jekyll's decision on their relationship.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

BEATRIX
(slowly, unable to
believe)
What are you trying to tell me, Harry?
You don't know what you're saying...
look at me -!

JEKYLL
(his face averted)
Really, Bee --

BEATRIX
(pulling his shoulders
around)
Look at me, darling -!

JEKYLL
I mean - no matter how perfect things
seem at first - people make mistakes,
sometimes.

BEATRIX
(tears welling in her
eyes)
But, Harry...
(then, with the
horrible thought)
Oh... I see. You don't want me. You
don't love me any more. Is that it?
(stifling a sob)
Are you telling me you don't want
me?

JEKYLL
(wildly, breaking)
Want you? I love you and want you
more than --
(rises quickly, walks
away)
But I'm giving you up, do you hear?
I'm not worth even the sound of your
name!

Beatrix gets up and hurries to him as WE PAN.

BEATRIX
Oh, my darling - what's wrong? Tell
me!

JEKYLL
I've no right to you - I've thrown
it away!

BEATRIX
Nothing's done that can't be --

(CONTINUED)
138.

269 CONTINUED: (2) 269

JEKYLL
But it's done! I've destroyed paradise -
Our paradise -

BEATRIX
(the mother now)
Oh - you are ill - tell me what's
really wrong! Don't keep it pent up
inside. You've always said we could
discuss anything between us.

JEKYLL
There are things you can't voice in
Heaven. Just believe me...
(turning his back to
her)
You're giving me up, do you hear? Go -
go inside - now - while I can't see
you -!

BEATRIX
(turning him half to
her)
Darling - it's all right. Just take
me in your arms.

JEKYLL
Oh, don't my angel! Angel - Angel of
Heaven, don't say any more -!

BEATRIX
(putting her arms
around him)
There - there, darling - hold me
close. Don't think of anything - of
whatever it is - just hold me a
minute.

JEKYLL
(pulling her hand
from him)
No! No - I can't! I'd give my soul
to -- but I have no soul!
(he clenches his fist
and covers his face
with the other hand,
bowing his head)
I'm like -
(he pauses, searching
for the word)
- like the living dead...!

Beatrix now enfolds him in her arms again. His head rests on
her shoulder. His arms go around her, weakened for a moment
in his anguish.

(CONTINUED)
139.

269 CONTINUED: (3) 269

BEATRIX
(soothingly)
Oh, my poor dear suffering love. Be
quiet... s-s-h-don't say any more.

JEKYLL
(sobbing)
Oh, Bee - my darling -!

BEATRIX
(softly)
Rest now... rest...

They are quiet for a second. Then Jekyll lifts his head
quickly and starts as if to leave.

BEATRIX
(trying to hold him,
panicky)
I won't let you go. You love me - I
won't let you go.

JEKYLL
(his voice rising)
That's why I'm giving you up! Because
I'll love you till the end of time!
(raising his gaze
aloft, as he backs
away, Beatrix staring
after him aghast
that he is going,
that she can't hold
him)
This is my proof! This is my penance!

He turns and walks hurriedly o.s.

BEATRIX
(starting after him,
then stops)
Harry - come back - Harry --

She then breaks into violent sobs, falters, and sinks to the
ground, prone.
140.

270 FULL SHOT - END OF GARDEN 270

Genres: Drama, Romance, Tragedy
Tone: Heartbreaking, Intense, Emotional

Summary In this scene, Beatrix confronts Jekyll about his feelings for her, leading to a heartbreaking conversation where Jekyll expresses his love but insists on giving her up. Beatrix tries to comfort him, but Jekyll is tormented by his inner turmoil. The emotional tone is intense and filled with love, pain, and inner turmoil. The scene ends with Jekyll walking away from Beatrix, leaving her in tears and anguish on the ground.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character development
Intense dialogue

Weaknesses

Slightly melodramatic tone

General Critique

The emotional turmoil and conflict between Jekyll and Beatrix are well portrayed in this scene, creating a sense of tension and heartbreak.
The dialogue effectively conveys the inner struggles of Jekyll and Beatrix, adding depth to their characters and the scene.
The scene effectively builds up to a climax with Jekyll's revelation and decision to give up Beatrix, creating a sense of tragedy and sacrifice.
The visual elements, such as Jekyll's physical and emotional exhaustion, add to the overall mood and atmosphere of the scene.
The scene effectively captures the internal conflict and turmoil of Jekyll, showcasing his inner demons and struggles.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal monologue or introspection from Jekyll to further explore his inner turmoil and conflict.
Explore the use of symbolism or metaphor to enhance the themes of guilt, sacrifice, and inner demons in the scene.
Consider incorporating more sensory details to immerse the audience in the emotional intensity of the scene.
Focus on creating a stronger resolution or closure for Beatrix's character arc in response to Jekyll's decision to give her up.
Experiment with different pacing and structure to build tension and suspense leading up to Jekyll's revelation and decision.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Jekyll is hurrying toward the CAMERA. In the b.g., Beatrix
is sobbing on the ground. WE PAN Jekyll as he comes around
the side of the house and stops. O.s. he hears her sobbing,
faintly. He is terribly tempted to go back. He half turns
and looks. He cannot stand the sight of what he sees. He
leans in weary torture against the side of the house, closing
his eyes. Suddenly a look of horror comes over his face. He
looks down at his hands. WE PAN DOWN to see his hand starting
to change. WE PAN UP to Jekyll's face. He looks down at his
other hand. His throat starts to constrict, his face to
change.

JEKYLL
(wildly, looking up)
Oh - no - no - don't let me - save
me - don't let me -!

But the metamorphosis is well on its way.

271 CLOSE SHOT - BEATRIX 271

She still lies on the ground, sobbing. Then, Jekyll's feet
and legs appear slowly in the SCENE. They stand right next
to her. She is aware of them. With a little sob, she half
rises, reaches out and enfolds the legs, pressing her cheek
against the knees.

BEATRIX
(murmuring)
Oh, you did come back... Oh, my
darling....

For answer there is an ugly chuckle o.s. Hyde's hands come
down into the frame and clutch her arms. Beatrix in
puzzlement, and then in dawning horror reacts to the chuckle
and the hands. In almost the same moment, Hyde lifts her up
and she is face to face with him. For a second, she is frozen
with fright, then screams as Hyde's face bends towards hers.

BEATRIX
(after her scream)
Father! Father..!

Hyde laughs wildly and starts to struggle with Beatrix.
141.

272 FULL PAN SHOT - SIR CHARLES 272

He is coming out of the drawing room on a dead run. WE PAN
HIM over to Beatrix and Hyde. Hyde drops Beatrix who faints
and slips to the ground. Sir Charles makes a gallant lunge
at Hyde, but Hyde sends him reeling against the wall. Then
with a wild animal laugh he leaps for his hat and stick. Sir
Charles, however, recovers in time to intercept his progress
around the fountain.

SIR CHARLES
(calling)
Help! Hobson - call the police!
Help -!

Hyde raises his stick and lays it across Sir Charles' head.
Sir Charles stumbles back and falls to the ground. Hyde leaps
on top of him like a panther, and bashes the stick against
Sir Charles' head three or four times in rapid succession.
The stick breaks with a final sickening blow. In the b.g.
Hobson and a footman come hurrying from the drawing room.

FOOTMAN
Here - what's going on -!

They spy Hyde and come after him. Hyde gets up and WE PAN
HIM the length of the garden on the run. Hobson kneels beside
Sir Charles' prostrate body as the footman gives chase after
Hyde around the corner of the house.

273 FULL SHOT - FRONT GATE 273

Hyde comes running from the garden. He stops for a second
and looks up the street.

274 EFFECT SHOT - JEKYLL'S ANGLE 274

A constable comes around the corner on the run, dimly
discernible under a gas light.

275 BACK TO HYDE 275

He runs o.s. down the street in the opposite direction just
as the footman appears and the constable comes running up.

FOOTMAN
(pointing in direction
of Hyde)
There he goes! It's the monster!

The constable runs o.s. after Hyde, blowing his whistle.
142.

276 FULL SHOT - MEWS 276

Hyde comes tearing down in toward camera. In a second, the
constable appears after him. Another man or two, passers-by
at the far entrance, take up the chase. Hyde leaps over a
fence. When the constable arrives at fence, he blows his
whistle again.

277 FULL SHOT - ANOTHER CONSTABLE - AT CORNER 277

He reacts to distant whistle, runs for it o.s.

278 LONG SHOT - HYDE - ANOTHER STREET 278

He runs past camera into b.g. A small group of idlers are
standing at the corner. They block his progress and he bowls
through them, knocking a couple down. Ad lib yells of surprise
and anger.

279 REVERSE SHOT - STREET 279

The two constables come in chase, followed by more people.

1ST CONSTABLE
Stop that man!

280 GROUP SHOT - AT CORNER 280

As constables come running up.

1ST MAN
(pointing)
That way, constable!

WE PAN AND PICK UP Hyde, his cape flying, leaping down the
street in the b.g. The rest give chase.

281 FULL PAN SHOT - HYDE - JEKYLL'S STREET 281

He comes flying along and darts up the walk to the house.
O.s. comes the sound of the constable's whistle.

282 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE - AT JEKYLL'S FRONT DOOR 282

He runs up the steps, vaults the balustrade and hurls his
body sidewise through the waiting-room window at the side of
the door.

283 FULL SHOT - INT. WAITING-ROOM 283

Hyde lands sprawling amidst the shattered glass. He scrambles
up and leaps out into the foyer.
143.

284 FULL SHOT - INT. FOYER - JEKYLL'S HOUSE 284

Hyde enters. Poole comes in from past camera.

POOLE
(recognizing Hyde)
Here, here - how did -?

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Mystery
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Violent

Summary As Jekyll witnesses Beatrix's despair, his transformation into Hyde becomes uncontrollable. Hyde's limbs emerge, startling Beatrix, and he confronts Sir Charles, fatally wounding him. Hyde escapes, pursued by the police, eventually breaking into Jekyll's house, leaving a trail of destruction and despair.

Strengths

Intense tension
Dramatic transformation
Emotional depth
High stakes

Weaknesses

Potential for confusion with multiple characters and actions

General Critique

The scene is filled with tension and suspense, effectively building up to the transformation from Jekyll to Hyde.
The emotional turmoil and inner conflict of Jekyll are portrayed well, adding depth to the character.
The physical actions and reactions of the characters are vividly described, enhancing the visual impact of the scene.
The transition from Jekyll to Hyde is depicted with a sense of horror and impending danger, creating a chilling atmosphere.
The scene effectively conveys the escalating chaos and violence as Hyde's true nature is revealed.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue for Jekyll to further explore his inner struggle and conflicting emotions.
Enhance the descriptions of Beatrix's reactions to the unfolding events to deepen the emotional impact of the scene.
Focus on the sensory details to immerse the audience in the scene, such as sounds of sobbing, footsteps, and the whistle blowing.
Explore the psychological aspects of Jekyll's transformation into Hyde, delving into the psychological implications of his actions.
Consider incorporating more symbolism or foreshadowing to add layers of meaning to the scene and enhance its thematic depth.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

But he gets no further as Hyde, with a roar, bowls him aside
and ducks out the back door toward the lab. Poole hurries to
the door, opens it. O.s. we hear crowd noises and whistles.

285 PAN EFFECT SHOT - HYDE 285

As he leaps across the bridge in the back courtyard to
Jekyll's laboratory.

286 FULL SHOT - INT. SMALL HALL - INT. LAB BUILDING 286

Hyde comes through door from courtyard, closes door, locks
it. Then he goes to door of lab, opens it, ducks inside, and
we hear him lock this door.

287 EXT. COURTYARD 287

Poole and the constables come running across the bridge.

POOLE
He's gone into the laboratory!

WE PAN THEM to the first door. They find it locked.

1ST CONSTABLE
(putting shoulder to
door)
Heave, Bill!

288 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE - INT. LAB 288

He is frantically looking for various vials to mix the potion.
He upsets and breaks things in his fury.

DISSOLVE TO:

289 GROUP SHOT - EXT. GARDEN - SIR CHARLES' HOME 289

A constable, the footman, Hobson and Lanyon are leaning over
Sir Charles' body. Lanyon is shaking his head woefully. The
constable shows Lanyon half of a stick.

290 CLOSE SHOT - BROKEN STICK WITH ITS SILVER HEAD 290

CONSTABLE'S VOICE (O.S.)
This is the weapon what done it,
Doctor.
144.

291 GROUP SHOT AGAIN 291

DR. LANYON
(taking stick, then
after a second)
Yes... I was afraid so.
(rising)
Come - I think I can take you to
your man.

DISSOLVE TO:

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Mystery
Tone: Tense, Frantic, Horror

Summary Dr. Jekyll's sinister alter-ego, Hyde, violently attacks Poole and flees into his laboratory, desperately searching for a potion to transform back. Poole and the constables pursue but are thwarted by locked doors. Meanwhile, Dr. Lanyon identifies the murder weapon and joins forces with the constable to confront Hyde, leaving the outcome of their encounter unknown.

Strengths

Intense atmosphere
Compelling character dynamics
Suspenseful pacing

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too graphic or disturbing for sensitive viewers

General Critique

The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt and lacks a smooth connection. It would benefit from a clearer transition to set the stage for Hyde's entrance.
The action of Hyde bowling Poole aside and rushing towards the lab feels rushed and could be expanded upon to build tension and suspense.
The description of Hyde frantically looking for vials and breaking things in his fury is a bit cliche and could be more nuanced to show his desperation and inner turmoil.
The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to fully capture the gravity of the situation, such as the murder of Sir Charles and the pursuit of Hyde.
There is a missed opportunity to delve into the psychological and moral conflict within Hyde as he prepares to mix the potion, which could add layers to his character.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue for Hyde to convey his inner conflict and turmoil as he prepares the potion.
Enhance the description of Hyde's actions to build tension and suspense, creating a more engaging and impactful scene.
Provide more context or background information to better connect the events of the scene with the overall narrative.
Explore the emotional impact of Sir Charles' murder and the pursuit of Hyde to heighten the stakes and drama of the scene.
Consider incorporating visual cues or symbolism to convey Hyde's internal struggle and the consequences of his actions.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

292 INT. LAB 292

Hyde is feverishly mixing the potion, having to make some of
its ingredients not already prepared. O.s., there is a crash
of door bursting. Then hammering on the laboratory door.

293 FULL SHOT - INT. HALL OF LAB 293

The courtyard door is down. The constables and Poole are
hammering at the door of the lab.

294 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE - INT. LAB 294

In his haste, he knocks over a large glass jar. It crashes.

295 BACK TO CONSTABLES AND POOLE - HALL 295

1ST CONSTABLE
(suddenly listening)
He's in there! Open up!
(then, as just silence
comes)
Come on, Bill!

Bill has run in with a crow-bar, and after two or three tries,
they break the door down.

296 PAN SHOT - POOLE AND CONSTABLES - INT. LAB 296

They come running down the stairs. As WE PAN WE PICK UP Jekyll
who is just staggering to his feet from the floor.

POOLE
(amazed)
Dr. Jekyll, sir! That frightful maniac
broke through the house and -

JEKYLL
I know. He struck me over the head.
(indicating, to
constable)
Quick, man! He went out by the back!

(CONTINUED)
145.

296 CONTINUED: 296

The constables hurry to the back door, o.s.

POOLE
I didn't even know you were home,
sir. Are you badly hurt?

JEKYLL
I'll - I'll be all right.

The two constables come from the back door.

1ST CONSTABLE
(to Jekyll)
This here door's locked.

JEKYLL
(impatiently, pointing
up stairs)
Then you better get round through
the front!

The two constables leap up the stairs, just as Lanyon, another
constable and an inspector in plain clothes come hurrying
in.

DR. LANYON
(looking at Jekyll
below)
Wait!

1ST CONSTABLE
(explaining)
He ducked through the back and locked
the door after him!

DR. LANYON
(in great strain)
No, he didn't! He's still down here.

They watch him, amazed, and follow down the steps to the lab
proper. He approaches Jekyll. Jekyll looks at him, tired,
wan. There are tears in Jekyll's eyes as he waits for the
word by Lanyon. Lanyon, too, is greatly affected. He seems
as though he can't say the word.

DR. LANYON
(finally gathers
himself - pointing
to Jekyll)
There - Heaven help him.

POOLE
(shocked)
Dr. Lanyon -!

(CONTINUED)
146.

296 CONTINUED: (2) 296

INSPECTOR
(Puzzled)
I know this gentleman. He's Dr.
Jekyll.

DR. LANYON
(tears in his eyes
now)
I know. Nevertheless, there's your
man.

INSPECTOR
You can't be serious, Dr. Lanyon. I -

DR. LANYON
(suddenly pointing)
Watch -!

For Jekyll has already started to turn back to Hyde again.
They all watch him in awe and horror as he goes through the
metamorphosis.

297 CLOSE SHOT - POOLE 297

He backs away slowly.

298 CLOSE SHOT - CONSTABLES AND INSPECTOR 298

Their jaws are dropping.

299 CLOSE SHOT - LANYON 299

He looks away. He cannot stand it.

300 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE 300

For he is now almost completely Hyde. He comes out of his
writhings as such. He looks about at the others, as though
he has just seen them for the first time. He is more bestial
and awful in physique and manner than we have ever seen him
in the transformation. With a sudden yell he throws a huge
jar at the officers, and ducks around the table. (NOTE: In
the following ensuing struggle ad lib commands from the
inspector should come at the proper time: "Grab him - hold
him - don't let him get up those stairs - guard that door"....
etc.) Hyde practically wrecks the lab in eluding his pursuers.
He knocks them this way and that. He leaps across tables -
up on shelves, pulling them down. He growls and snarls and
laughs in glee every time he eludes them.

301 CLOSE SHOT - LANYON AND INSPECTOR 301

This during middle of fight. Lanyon sees the gun in the
inspector's hand.

(CONTINUED)
147.

301 CONTINUED: 301

DR. LANYON
(pleading)
Shoot him, inspector - shoot him!
That would be his wish!

INSPECTOR
(grimly)
Must take him if we can!
(darting o.s.)
Hold him now!

302 FULL SHOT - GROUP 302

The constables seem just about to have Hyde cornered, when
with another wild leap, he gets to a set of surgical
instruments, and pulls out a large knife. With another yell,
he makes a leap for freedom, brandishing his weapon. As he
gets by the large apparatus on the table, the inspector lets
him have it with the revolver. Hyde wheels, drops across the
table, shattering some of the apparatus. They start crowding
around him in silent awe, Poole crying with audible sobs.

POOLE
(like a plea)
Dr. Jekyll... Dr. Jekyll.....!

303 CLOSE SHOT - HYDE'S HEAD - PROFILE 303

There is a strange light on it. As if in answer to Poole's
plea, the face starts slowly and mystically changing back to
that of the handsome Jekyll - a face peaceful in death - as
if in death - without struggle or torture - Jekyll was
restored to himself for Eternity. WE PULL BACK SLOWLY for a
tableau.

DR. LANYON
(line to come)

FADE OUT:

THE END

Genres: Drama, Thriller, Horror
Tone: Tense, Horror, Tragic, Intense

Summary Constables and Poole break down the door to the laboratory to find Hyde mixing a potion. Hyde knocks over a jar and transforms back into Jekyll as Lanyon reveals the truth about Hyde. Once again Hyde transforms into a violent Hyde and fights off the officers until he is shot by the inspector, at which point he dies and transforms back into Jekyll.

Strengths

Intense emotional impact
Compelling character development
High stakes and tension

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too intense for sensitive viewers

General Critique

The scene lacks clarity in terms of the action sequences, making it difficult to follow the movements of the characters and the unfolding events.
The dialogue feels rushed and lacks depth, especially in moments of high tension and emotion.
The transformation of Jekyll into Hyde and back again is not effectively portrayed, missing the opportunity to create a visually impactful and emotionally resonant moment.
The scene could benefit from more descriptive language to create a vivid and immersive atmosphere for the audience.
There is a lack of emotional depth and character development in the interactions between the characters, particularly in the moments of conflict and revelation.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider revising the action sequences to make them more coherent and engaging for the audience.
Work on enhancing the dialogue to better convey the emotions and motivations of the characters in the scene.
Focus on creating a visually striking transformation sequence for Jekyll into Hyde and back again, using visual and sound cues to heighten the impact.
Add more descriptive details to set the scene and create a sense of atmosphere that draws the audience in.
Develop the emotional dynamics between the characters to add depth and complexity to their interactions, especially in moments of conflict and revelation.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Overview

Unique Selling Point

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Story Facts

Script Level Analysis

Screenplay Insights

Story Critique

Characters

Emotional Analysis

Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Themes

Logic & Inconsistencies

Scene Analysis

Scene Level Percentiles

Other Analyses

Unique Voice

Writer's Craft

Memorable Lines

Tropes

World Building

Correlations

Loglines

Unique Voice

Writer's Craft

Memorable Lines

Tropes

World Building

Correlations

Loglines

Engine: Gemini

Consider

Executive Summary

Engine: GPT4

Consider

Executive Summary

Screenplay Insights:

Screenplay Story Analysis

Dr. - Score: 17/100

Aliases

Role

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Mr. - Score: 90/100

Role

Personality

Scenes

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 9/10

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Behavior And Choices 9/10

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Scene Impact 9/10

Role Fulfillment 10/10

Thematic Plot Integration 10/10

Emotional Resonance 10/10

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions