SCENES
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
Scene Map 60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
EXT BOARDWALK NIGHT
2 3
7 EXT. PACIFIC COAST - MORNING 7
3 4
9 EXT. SANTA CARLA - MORNING 9
4 6
11 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - DAY 11
5 8
15 INT. AN UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 15
6 9
18 INT. KITCHEN 18
7 10
20 INT. THE KITCHEN - NIGHT 20
8 11
22 EXT. SANTA CARLA PIER - NIGHT 22
9 13
24 EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT 24
10 14
26 EXT. THE BOARDWALK 26
11 17
33 INT. THE VIDEO STORE - DUSK 33
12 19
36 EXT. BOARDWALK PARKING AREA - NIGHT 36
13 20
37 EXT. BOARDWALK STEPS 37
14 22
49 EXT. HUDSON'S BLUFF - NIGHT 49
15 24
53 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT 53
16 25
55 INT. LOBBY/CAVE - NIGHT 55
17 28
60 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - NEXT DAY 60
18 30
65 INT. BACK PORCH 65
19 32
67 INT. COMIC BOOK STORE - DAY (LATER) 67
20 33
68 EXT. VIDEO STORE - EVENING 68
21 34
69 EXT. OUTSIDE THE CAVE/LOBBY - CLOSE ON MICHAEL'S EAR - 69
22 36
70 EXT. RAILROAD TRESTLE - NIGHT 70
23 39
72 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - DAY 72
24 40
75 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT 75
25 41
78 INT. KITCHEN (CONTINUOUS) 78
26 42
80 EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT 80
27 44
86 INT. SAM AND MICHAEL'S BATHROOM 86
28 45
94 INT. HALLWAY 94
29 47
97 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM 97
30 48
100 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - CLOSE ON MICHAEL 100
31 49
103 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - NIGHT 103
32 51
109 INT. THE RESTAURANT 109
33 52
118 EXT. CLIFF - NIGHT 118
34 54
129 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - MORNING 129
35 56
131 EXT. IMPRESSIVE HOUSE, SANTA CARLA - MORNING 131
36 57
133 EXT. BOARDWALK - DAY (LATER) 133
37 59
134 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - EVENING 134
38 60
139 INT. THE KITCHEN 139
39 61
141 INT. THE DINING ROOM - NIGHT 141
40 64
143 EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT 143
41 66
148 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 148
42 68
149 INT. LIVING ROOM - NEXT MORNING 149
43 70
150 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - DAY 150
44 72
158 EXT. CAVE - DAY 158
45 74
164 INT. PITCH BLACK HOLE 164
46 75
INT THE CHEVY - TRAVELING (LATER)
47 77
173 INT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE 173
48 79
177 EXT. THE BOARDWALK - THE OCEAN 177
49 80
180 INT. GRANDPA'S WORK ROOM 180
50 81
188 EXT. MAX'S HOUSE - EVENING 188
51 82
EXT VAMPIRE POV - FLYING OVER THE TREE TOPS
52 83
EXT VAMPIRE POV
53 84
195 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM 195
54 85
200 INT. BATHROOM 200
55 87
203 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM 203
56 88
204 INT. THE KITCHEN 204
57 90
213 INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 213
58 92
220 INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 220
59 93
224 EXT. SANTA CARLA STREET - NIGHT 224
60 97
232 INT. THE LIVING ROOM 232
INT EXT INT/EXT hover for full slug
Scene Map
60
# PG SLUGLINE
1 1
EXT BOARDWALK NIGHT
EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT (AERIAL SHOT)
1 EXT. THE OCEAN - NIGHT 1 CAMERA SKIMMING along the top of the water. Moonlight on the surf. Racing toward the beach where large bonfires burn. TITLES AND TITLE SONG. CAMERA FLIES THROUGH FLAMES revealing:
2 3
7 EXT. PACIFIC COAST - MORNING 7
7 EXT. PACIFIC COAST - MORNING 7
7 EXT. PACIFIC COAST - MORNING 7 Helicopter shots of the COASTLINE and HIGHWAY 17 approach- ing Santa Clara: ocean, agriculture, etc. CAMERA FINDS a beat up LAND ROVER pulling a U-HAUL TRAILER. 8 INT. ROVER 8
3 4
9 EXT. SANTA CARLA - MORNING 9
9 EXT. SANTA CARLA - MORNING 9
9 EXT. SANTA CARLA - MORNING 9 ESTABLISH Summer/Fun atmos -- Bikinis, Surfers, Bikers, Colorful Locals, etc. HIGH SHOT soaks in boardwalk and surrounding area as CAMERA MOVES DOWNWARD finding Sam and Nonook in the crowd
4 6
11 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - DAY 11
11 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - DAY 11
11 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - DAY 11 A long winding road leads to the old lodge-like funky house. The Land Rover pulls up followed by Michael on his motorbike. GRANDPA, a rugged individualist wearing old denims,
5 8
15 INT. AN UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 15
15 INT. AN UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 15
15 INT. AN UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 15 Sam is stacking his comic book collection on the shelves when Michael enters. MICHAEL This room is mine.
6 9
18 INT. KITCHEN 18
18 INT. KITCHEN 18
18 INT. KITCHEN 18 Grandpa opens the refrigerator revealing a shelf with a cardboard flap on it reading: "Old Fart." GRANDPA Second shelf is mine... keep my
7 10
20 INT. THE KITCHEN - NIGHT 20
20 INT. THE KITCHEN - NIGHT 20
20 INT. THE KITCHEN - NIGHT 20 Michael, Sam and Lucy do the dinner dishes together. The radio is playing. A HIT FROM THE SIXTIES comes on. "Land Of A Thousand Dances." Lucy begins to move to the music. Then she puts down her dish towel and starts to
8 11
22 EXT. SANTA CARLA PIER - NIGHT 22
22 EXT. SANTA CARLA PIER - NIGHT 22
22 EXT. SANTA CARLA PIER - NIGHT 22 In view of the boardwalk, but quite a distance away. Lucy, in a soft summer skirt and blouse walks on the busy pier; restaurants, souvenir stores, boat rentals, etc. A "brain dead" ex-hippie is preaching; ranting and raving.
9 13
24 EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT 24
24 EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT 24
24 EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT 24 Michael walks briskly past the rides through the crowds. Sam has trouble keeping up as they turn down an alley. SAM Where are we going?
10 14
26 EXT. THE BOARDWALK 26
26 EXT. THE BOARDWALK 26
26 EXT. THE BOARDWALK 26 Michael is on Star and Laddie's tail. He keeps pace with her, walking a safe distance behind. She becomes aware of him. She looks over her shoulder -- then suddenly stops.
11 17
33 INT. THE VIDEO STORE - DUSK 33
33 INT. THE VIDEO STORE - DUSK 33
33 INT. THE VIDEO STORE - DUSK 33 Lucy's first day on the job. MARIA, the hot-looking black cashier, shows Lucy the ropes. MARIA I'd be out on the street if it
12 19
36 EXT. BOARDWALK PARKING AREA - NIGHT 36
36 EXT. BOARDWALK PARKING AREA - NIGHT 36
36 EXT. BOARDWALK PARKING AREA - NIGHT 36 As Michael and Star approach Michael's Honda, the Lost Boys arrive on their motorcycles. Laddie sits behind Paul. David is astride a THROBBING TRIUMPH. Michael looks uneasy; out-classed and out-numbered.
13 20
37 EXT. BOARDWALK STEPS 37
37 EXT. BOARDWALK STEPS 37
37 EXT. BOARDWALK STEPS 37 The motorcycles BOUNCE down the steps and hit the beach. 38 EXT. THE BEACH 38 Now they pick up speed as they spin out from the board- walk, spraying sand into the air and REVVING their
14 22
49 EXT. HUDSON'S BLUFF - NIGHT 49
49 EXT. HUDSON'S BLUFF - NIGHT 49
49 EXT. HUDSON'S BLUFF - NIGHT 49 David's Triumph streaks across the flat surface of the bluff. Michael is not far behind. MICHAEL'S POV The bluff terminates in a shear five hundred-foot drop
15 24
53 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT 53
53 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT 53
53 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT 53 54 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 54 Sam is lying in bed reading Vampires Everywhere. Lucy enters. LUCY
16 25
55 INT. LOBBY/CAVE - NIGHT 55
55 INT. LOBBY/CAVE - NIGHT 55
55 INT. LOBBY/CAVE - NIGHT 55 MUSIC IS PLAYING from a ghetto blaster. Very loud. Very hypnotic. Dwayne makes graceful moves with a skateboard beneath his feet. Everyone is very mellow; very dreamy. MICHAEL
17 28
60 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - NEXT DAY 60
60 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - NEXT DAY 60
60 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - NEXT DAY 60 Michael cringes in his sleep, as Sam invades his bedroom from their common bathroom. SAM Michael, come on. It's one
18 30
65 INT. BACK PORCH 65
65 INT. BACK PORCH 65
65 INT. BACK PORCH 65 Michael, looking very drawn and wearing sunglasses, stands before his barbells. He pumps them once, but can't complete a second rep. Exhausted, he drops them
19 32
67 INT. COMIC BOOK STORE - DAY (LATER) 67
67 INT. COMIC BOOK STORE - DAY (LATER) 67
67 INT. COMIC BOOK STORE - DAY (LATER) 67 Sam parks his bike outside and enters. He begins looking around, when he sees the Frog Brothers at work as usual. They exchange glares and Sam goes to a section he likes. ALAN
20 33
68 EXT. VIDEO STORE - EVENING 68
68 EXT. VIDEO STORE - EVENING 68
68 EXT. VIDEO STORE - EVENING 68 Lucy emerged from the store just as Max drives up in his sports car. His dog, THORN, an Irish Setter, is in the seat next to him. Max leaps from the car.
21 34
69 EXT. OUTSIDE THE CAVE/LOBBY - CLOSE ON MICHAEL'S EAR - 69
69 EXT. OUTSIDE THE CAVE/LOBBY - CLOSE ON MICHAEL'S EAR - 69
69 EXT. OUTSIDE THE CAVE/LOBBY - CLOSE ON MICHAEL'S EAR - 69 NIGHT As Star pierces it for him. MICHAEL Ouch.
22 36
70 EXT. RAILROAD TRESTLE - NIGHT 70
70 EXT. RAILROAD TRESTLE - NIGHT 70
70 EXT. RAILROAD TRESTLE - NIGHT 70 The trestle spans a deep gorge, obscured IN fog. The boys arrive on their motorbikes. DAVID Perfect time.
23 39
72 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - DAY 72
72 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - DAY 72
72 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - DAY 72 The shakes are drawn and the room is dark. Sam rushes in. SAM Michael, wake up! It's Mom!
24 40
75 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT 75
75 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT 75
75 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT 75 76 INT. KITCHEN - GRANDPA'S HOUSE - NIGHT 76 Sam slaps together a couple of bologna sandwiches. Grandpa walks in wearing a suit and tie. He begins to bang around through the kitchen cupboards.
25 41
78 INT. KITCHEN (CONTINUOUS) 78
78 INT. KITCHEN (CONTINUOUS) 78
78 INT. KITCHEN (CONTINUOUS) 78 SAM I'm making you a sandwich. MICHAEL Don't bother.
26 42
80 EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT 80
80 EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT 80
80 EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT 80 Lucy pulls up to the restaurant in her Land Rover. Max pulls up immediately behind her in his sports car. He jumps out, hurries over to Lucy's car and opens the door for her with a galant flourish.
27 44
86 INT. SAM AND MICHAEL'S BATHROOM 86
86 INT. SAM AND MICHAEL'S BATHROOM 86
86 INT. SAM AND MICHAEL'S BATHROOM 86 Sam continues to listen to ROCK BLASTING as he creates another hair style for himself. 87 INT. STAIRCASE 87 Michael appears in the shadows. His veins have returned
28 45
94 INT. HALLWAY 94
94 INT. HALLWAY 94
94 INT. HALLWAY 94 Sam steps cautiously into the hallway. It is dark. SAM Michael? Are you there, Nanook?
29 47
97 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM 97
97 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM 97
97 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM 97 Michael walks in wearing a dazed expression. He flops down on his bed. 98 INT. COMIC BOOK STORE 98 Hiding the phone and the conversation from the clientele,
30 48
100 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - CLOSE ON MICHAEL 100
100 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - CLOSE ON MICHAEL 100
100 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM - CLOSE ON MICHAEL 100 Something is happening, but we can't tell what. Yet we feel the distinct sensation of movement. BANG. Michael's nose makes contact with a hard white surface. It's as if something is pressing down on him.
31 49
103 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - NIGHT 103
103 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - NIGHT 103
103 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - NIGHT 103 Michael rises into the night sky as far as the cord will allow. 104 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM 104 Sam backs away from the window with a terrified
32 51
109 INT. THE RESTAURANT 109
109 INT. THE RESTAURANT 109
109 INT. THE RESTAURANT 109 The MAITRE 'D is on the phone. MAITRE 'D I am very sorry. But he is no longer here.
33 52
118 EXT. CLIFF - NIGHT 118
118 EXT. CLIFF - NIGHT 118
118 EXT. CLIFF - NIGHT 118 Michael arrives at the cliff where the lobby/cave is located. No one is there. He decides to enter the cave. 119 INT. LOBBY/CAVE - NIGHT 119
34 54
129 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - MORNING 129
129 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - MORNING 129
129 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - MORNING 129 Michael drives up on his Honda. He approaches the house. Lucy is on the porch, drinking coffee. LUCY Hi.
35 56
131 EXT. IMPRESSIVE HOUSE, SANTA CARLA - MORNING 131
131 EXT. IMPRESSIVE HOUSE, SANTA CARLA - MORNING 131
131 EXT. IMPRESSIVE HOUSE, SANTA CARLA - MORNING 131 Lucy and Sam pull up in the Land Rover. SAM That it? Lucy checks the address she has written down.
36 57
133 EXT. BOARDWALK - DAY (LATER) 133
133 EXT. BOARDWALK - DAY (LATER) 133
133 EXT. BOARDWALK - DAY (LATER) 133 Sam and the Frogs walk toward the beach with their comics. EDGAR We've been aware of some very serious vampire activity in
37 59
134 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - EVENING 134
134 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - EVENING 134
134 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - EVENING 134 135 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM 135 Michael is getting dressed to go out. More and more he is looking like one of the Lost Boys. 136 INT. THE KITCHEN 136
38 60
139 INT. THE KITCHEN 139
139 INT. THE KITCHEN 139
139 INT. THE KITCHEN 139 Max enters, surprising Lucy. MAX Hello. Lucy jumps.
39 61
141 INT. THE DINING ROOM - NIGHT 141
141 INT. THE DINING ROOM - NIGHT 141
141 INT. THE DINING ROOM - NIGHT 141 Everyone is seated around the dinner table. Edgar and Alan concentrate on Max's behavior. Lucy serves spaghetti from a large plate. MAX
40 64
143 EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT 143
143 EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT 143
143 EXT. BOARDWALK - NIGHT 143 Michael is looking for Star, but he chances upon the Lost Boys instead. David has his back to him. Michael comes up behind him and spins David forcefully around. MICHAEL
41 66
148 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 148
148 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 148
148 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 148 All is dark. CAMERA IS CLOSE ON A PAIR OF BEADY EYES which now reflect the opening of the bedroom door and the entrance of a human form. It comes closer. SAM
42 68
149 INT. LIVING ROOM - NEXT MORNING 149
149 INT. LIVING ROOM - NEXT MORNING 149
149 INT. LIVING ROOM - NEXT MORNING 149 Sam opens the door and the Frogs enter. EDGAR Okay. Where's Nosferatu?
43 70
150 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - DAY 150
150 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - DAY 150
150 EXT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE - DAY 150 We are far out in the fields as Grandpa puts in fence posts from the back of his pickup. He turns as he hears his prize Chevy SQUEEL BACKWARD OUT OF THE GARAGE. Sam leans out of the car yelling.
44 72
158 EXT. CAVE - DAY 158
158 EXT. CAVE - DAY 158
158 EXT. CAVE - DAY 158 Michael arrives at the Chevy with Laddie in his arms. He opens the back door and places Laddie on the seat. Laddie remains sound asleep as Michael makes certain that his face is covered and away from the sun.
45 74
164 INT. PITCH BLACK HOLE 164
164 INT. PITCH BLACK HOLE 164
164 INT. PITCH BLACK HOLE 164 Sam and the Frogs find nothing until they shoot their flashlight beams UPWARD. And what they see causes their hearts to skip a beat. THE LOST BOYS
46 75
INT THE CHEVY - TRAVELING (LATER)
INT. THE CHEVY - TRAVELING (LATER)
INT. THE CHEVY - TRAVELING (LATER) ALAN We blew it, Edgar! We lost it! EDGAR Shut up!
47 77
173 INT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE 173
173 INT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE 173
173 INT. GRANDPA'S HOUSE 173 All enter. Michael carries Star in his arms. Sam and the Frogs carry Laddie. As they approach the stairs, Nanook comes racing up to them, BARKING loudly. SAM
48 79
177 EXT. THE BOARDWALK - THE OCEAN 177
177 EXT. THE BOARDWALK - THE OCEAN 177
177 EXT. THE BOARDWALK - THE OCEAN 177 The sun begins to set. 178 INT. VIDEO STORE 178 Sam enters and goes running up to Lucy. SAM
49 80
180 INT. GRANDPA'S WORK ROOM 180
180 INT. GRANDPA'S WORK ROOM 180
180 INT. GRANDPA'S WORK ROOM 180 Sam comes in to find Grandpa working on one of his mounted animals. SAM Grandpa, the Widow Johnson called.
50 81
188 EXT. MAX'S HOUSE - EVENING 188
188 EXT. MAX'S HOUSE - EVENING 188
188 EXT. MAX'S HOUSE - EVENING 188 Max opens the door to Lucy and ushers her in. MAX Maybe this is the night where everything finally goes right
51 82
EXT VAMPIRE POV - FLYING OVER THE TREE TOPS
EXT. VAMPIRE POV - FLYING OVER THE TREE TOPS
192 INT. GRANDPA'S HOSUE - THE LIVING ROOM 192 Sam, Michael, Edgar, Alan, Star and Laddie are assembled for final instructions. Sam and the Frogs carry loaded water guns. Michael has his bow and arrow. EDGAR
52 83
EXT VAMPIRE POV
EXT. VAMPIRE POV
EXT. VAMPIRE POV Rushing in toward Sam and Nanook. EXT. THE YARD Sam frees Nanook. The two of them run toward the house. EXT. VAMPIRE POV
53 84
195 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM 195
195 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM 195
195 INT. SAM'S BEDROOM 195 Star hides Laddie under the bed. She notices that the bedroom window is not closed. She moves to close it when it EXPLODES in her face and: PAUL
54 85
200 INT. BATHROOM 200
200 INT. BATHROOM 200
200 INT. BATHROOM 200 Edgar shooting holy water as Paul backs into bathroom. EDGAR Alan! Alan! I'm almost out of
55 87
203 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM 203
203 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM 203
203 INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM 203 Edgar and Alan, still flushed with their victory over Paul, sit on the bed re-loading their guns with holy water. ALAN
56 88
204 INT. THE KITCHEN 204
204 INT. THE KITCHEN 204
204 INT. THE KITCHEN 204 Marko advances toward Sam. Nanook GROWLS. Sam throws anything he can get his hands on: Plates, toaster, cups, silverware, etc. They bounce harmlessly off of Marko's head and chest.
57 90
213 INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 213
213 INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 213
213 INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 213 Where everyone is trapped. Sam and Edgar have their ears pressed to the floor, listening to the fight below. 214 INT. BACK PORCH 214 Michael and David SLAM each other into walls. Finally,
58 92
220 INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 220
220 INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 220
220 INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM 220 Sam, Edgar and Alan have their ears presses to the floor when suddenly, David EXPLODES through the floor only inches away -- and keeps traveling upward, EXPLODING through the bedroom ceiling as well.
59 93
224 EXT. SANTA CARLA STREET - NIGHT 224
224 EXT. SANTA CARLA STREET - NIGHT 224
224 EXT. SANTA CARLA STREET - NIGHT 224 Grandpa's pickup rumbles down the street. 225 INT. THE LIVING ROOM 225 Headlights sweep across the front window. SAM
60 97
232 INT. THE LIVING ROOM 232
232 INT. THE LIVING ROOM 232
232 INT. THE LIVING ROOM 232 Max's own head and limbs are consumed in the vacuum, and the vortex beings to subside. Silence. LUCY Everybody okay?
INT EXT INT/EXT tap to expand

The Lost Boys

When a rebellious teen falls in with a pack of vampire bikers who rule the boardwalk at night, only his comic-book-obsessed younger brother and a pair of amateur vampire hunters can save him from eternal damnation.

See other logline suggestions
Take the Tour Download PDF

Overview

Poster
Unique Selling Proposition

Rock‑video energy and outlaw‑romance seduction meet comic‑book vampire‑lore puzzles, delivering iconic set‑pieces (trestle drop, sunken hotel lair, booby‑trapped home siege) and a playful family counterpoint capped by the mom’s‑boyfriend twist.

AI Verdict

How to read these: in industry coverage, Pass is the default outcome for the majority of professional scripts, and Consider means the reader stayed in the room. Industry-wide, the median professional evaluation sits at a 6 — scores of 8+ are rare everywhere, on purpose.

Synthesis Where readers agree and split
7.3

A qualified recommend for a mainstream commercial horror-comedy that delivers strong set-piece execution and tonal confidence but requires targeted structural work on mid-act protagonist agency and late-game causal planting.

Read as Mainstream commercial
Genres Horror5 Comedy4 Coming of age4

A mainstream commercial horror-comedy betting on propulsive set-piece momentum, confident tonal balance between scares and family comedy, and a nostalgic teen-cult register to carry the read over thin emotional interiority.

Why not lower

The script’s tonal execution and set-piece architecture are consistently confident enough across the runtime that the structural issues read as fixable craft problems rather than foundational failures.

Why not higher

The protagonist’s mid-act desire fade and the late-game antagonist reveal’s reliance on exposition prevent the script from achieving the propulsive, structurally inevitable read required for a strong recommend.

Rewrite map

A script with a highly confident tonal balance and kinetic set-piece execution that needs targeted work on the protagonist’s mid-act agency and the causal planting for the third-act villain reveal.

Read as Mainstream commercial

Start here

Re-anchoring Michael’s post-initiation desire around a concrete, active objective (e.g., extracting Star or actively resisting a deadline) will simultaneously restore mid-act forward pull, give the set-pieces causal weight, and reduce the need for late-game exposition to explain character stakes.

What's working 2
Frog Brothers’ distinct comic voice

Their hyper-intense, paramilitary dialogue and comic-shop bunker aesthetic elevate standard lore exposition into highly entertaining character work that perfectly counterpoints the horror elements.

Tactile 'monster in the house' climax staging

The final battle grounds supernatural combat in recognizable domestic terrain (holy-water bathtubs, garlic-stuffed napkin rings, stereo systems), making the action highly specific and memorable rather than generic.

Protect while fixing 2
Tonal balance between horror and family comedy

Tightening the mid-act causal chain or adding lore plants risks over-explaining or darkening the script’s carefully calibrated blend of atmospheric dread and warm, irreverent comedy.

When re-engineering Michael’s objective or seeding Max’s tells, keep the family-comedy beats (Grandpa’s rules, Frog Brothers’ intensity) self-contained and tonally light, using them as pressure valves rather than dramatic anchors.

Kinetic set-piece architecture

Restructuring the second half to give Michael a clearer plan could inadvertently fragment or shorten the boardwalk-to-cave transition and trestle sequences that currently carry the script’s momentum.

Anchor any new protagonist objectives to the existing spatial geography of the set-pieces rather than replacing them, ensuring the chase and flight sequences retain their clear visual logic and escalating physical risk.

Fix first 3
Mid-act protagonist drive diffuses

The reader loses forward pull as scenes feel reactive and eventful without accumulating toward a concrete pursuit, making momentum rely on spectacle rather than character choice.

Root cause

The script does not re-clarify Michael’s governing objective after the blood-drinking initiation, leaving him to oscillate between romance, resistance, and group acceptance without a scene-driven plan.

One direction

Re-anchor Michael’s post-initiation desire around a concrete, active goal (e.g., extracting Star or actively resisting a specific deadline) so subsequent set-pieces register as consequences of his choices rather than atmospheric drift.

Third-act villain reveal lacks retrospective logic

The reader experiences the Max reveal as a late-act convenience that halts momentum for exposition, rather than a satisfying 'of course' moment built on planted clues.

Root cause

Max’s true nature and motive are kept entirely off-screen until the climax, requiring a monologue to explain the 'daytime guardian' rule instead of letting earlier scenes plant behavioral or lore-based tells.

One direction

Seed the invitation rule and the 'daytime guardian' concept into earlier lore scenes or Max’s interactions with Lucy, so the reveal functions as a puzzle piece snapping into place rather than an info-dump.

Vampire lore and rules arrive late via exposition Medium confidence

The reader loses trust in the internal logic of the world because key mechanics surface as dialogue reveals well after transformational beats, making earlier horror moments feel arbitrary until retrofitted.

Root cause

The script prioritizes surprise over systematic worldbuilding, delivering rules in exposition blocks rather than letting characters discover or test them through action.

One direction

Shift rule conveyance into interactive beats or visual hints that let the audience infer mechanics before they are spoken, turning exposition into active discovery.

Your decisions 1
Protagonist seduction framing: active moral compromise vs. passive victim of trickery Consequential
Side A

Committing to active compromise means rewriting the blood-drinking sequence so Michael knowingly embraces the danger to win Star, grounding his arc in a character flaw that requires redemption.

Side B

Committing to passive victimhood preserves the dreamlike, hypnotic pull of the seduction but requires strengthening the external pressure and causal chain to compensate for Michael’s lack of interior choice.

Quick credibility wins 2
Strip spec-level camera and performance direction

Remove explicit camera movements (CAMERA FLIES, POV callouts) and embedded emotional stage directions from action lines, letting the staging and observable behavior carry the visual weight.

Replace on-the-nose emotional and lore dialogue with behavioral subtext

Cut direct declarations of love, fear, and rule mechanics from dialogue, instead embedding those stakes in character actions, visual reveals, or interactive experiments that let the reader infer the information.

Ask AI about this read
Would readers champion it · Rewrite depth · Voice · Score stability
What's working All 5 readers agree

The ensemble consistently champions the script’s tonal balance and kinetic set-piece execution as the primary asset that would survive a skeptical coverage discussion.

What's blocking All 5 readers agree

The protagonist’s loss of agency and diffuse desire after the midpoint consistently blocks a stronger advocacy call, as it turns the second half into reactive survival beats rather than a driven pursuit.

Would readers champion it?
Not yetNot yetReaders wouldn’t actively push for it.
Early interestEarly interestMentioned, but no real push behind it.
ModeratelyModeratelyMentioned favorably to the right buyer.
StronglyStronglyActively championed across their network.
ClaudeModeratelyDeepSeekModeratelyGPT5ModeratelyGrokEarly interestGeminiStrongly
How much rewrite does it need?
Start from scratchStart from scratchPremise or core engine isn’t working. Page-one rebuild.
Structural rewriteStructural rewriteSpecific acts or zones need rebuilding — not starting over, but significant revision work on those sections.
Targeted rewriteTargeted rewriteSpecific scenes or threads need rework. ~1 month.
Just polishJust polishLines and pacing tweaks. A few weeks.
ClaudeTargeted rewriteDeepSeekTargeted rewriteGPT5Targeted rewriteGeminiTargeted rewriteGrokTargeted rewrite
How distinctive is the voice?
GenericGenericReads like other scripts in the genre.
EmergingEmergingHints of a distinctive voice, not yet locked in.
DistinctiveDistinctiveA clear, recognizable authorial voice.
One-of-a-kindOne-of-a-kindA voice that couldn’t be anyone else’s.
ClaudeEmergingDeepSeekEmergingGrokEmergingGPT5DistinctiveGeminiDistinctive

On the score: The score sits at the high edge of its band — a focused revision could push it to the next verdict.

Story Facts
Genres:
Horror 70% Comedy 40% Drama 30% Action 25% Thriller 20% Romance 12%

Setting: Modern day (1980s), Santa Carla, California, primarily around the boardwalk, beach, and various homes

Themes: Family and Loyalty, Identity and Transformation, Temptation and Corruption, Good vs. Evil, Coming of Age, Death and Immortality

Conflict & Stakes: Michael's struggle against his transformation into a vampire and the threat posed by David and the Lost Boys, with the safety of his family at stake.

Mood: A mix of dark humor, tension, and nostalgia.

Standout Features:

  • Unique Hook: The combination of teenage coming-of-age story with vampire mythology.
  • Plot Twist: The revelation that Max, who seems like a potential father figure, is actually a vampire.
  • Distinctive Setting: The vibrant and eerie atmosphere of Santa Carla, known as the 'Murder Capital of the World'.
  • Innovative Ideas: The use of humor and rock music to enhance the horror experience.
  • Unique Characters: The quirky Frog Brothers and the charismatic Lost Boys add depth and personality to the story.

Comparable Scripts: Fright Night (1985), Near Dark (1987), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992 film), The Monster Squad (1987), Teen Wolf (1985), What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

How 5 AI Readers Scored The Script

Graded as Mainstream commercial
Claude GPT5 Gemini DeepSeek Grok Average spread Row tint: weak mid strong excellent
Premise i
7.8
Plot i
7.0
Structure i
7.2
Character i
6.4
Dialogue i
6.8
Tone / Voice i
7.8
Theme i
6.4
Marketability i
8.4

Script Level Analysis

Writer Exec

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

Breaks down your script along various categories.

Overall Score: 7.85
Key Suggestions:
The screenplay has a strong, genre-blending foundation with a compelling premise, vivid visuals, and effective family dynamics. To elevate the craft, focus on three key areas: 1) deepen supporting characters—give Alan Frog a consistent emotional arc, differentiate the minor Lost Boys with unique traits, and expand Star's agency beyond the love interest role; 2) build stronger foreshadowing for Max's villainy through subtle visual and dialogue clues (e.g., his discomfort in sunlight, Thorn's behavior) to make the twist feel earned rather than sudden; 3) revise dialogue to add subtext and remove on-the-nose exposition, showing emotions through action and implication. Additionally, convert explicit camera directions (e.g., 'CLOSE ON', 'VAMPIRE POV') into descriptive prose to improve readability and industry standards.
> Go to Screenplay Insights
Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

Key Suggestions:
The script benefits from a strong premise and engaging family dynamics, but craft improvements are needed to elevate it. Focus on deepening Star's backstory and agency to make the romantic subplot more resonant. Tighten Michael's transformation sequence by condensing the Lost Boys' hazing rituals into fewer, more impactful moments. Clarify vampire rules (e.g., invitation, half-vampire status) earlier in the story to strengthen the climax and reduce logical gaps. Avoid reliance on deus ex machina by giving Michael a more direct role in defeating Max. These changes will refine the horror-comedy balance and create a more cohesive emotional arc.
> Go to Story Critique
Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

Key Suggestions:
The character analysis reveals that while Michael's arc is strong and David is a compelling antagonist, many supporting characters (Paul, Edgar, Alan, Laddie, Lucy, Grandpa) remain underdeveloped or static. Their functional roles (comic relief, henchman, etc.) could be deepened with small backstory hints, internal conflicts, or distinct voices to increase emotional investment and thematic resonance. Enhancing character depth—especially for the Frog Brothers, Star, and Lucy—would elevate the script from a fun horror-comedy to a more memorable and emotionally layered story.
> Go to Characters
Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

Key Suggestions:
The script's greatest strength is its effective blend of horror, family warmth, and dark humor, but the second half suffers from emotional monotony. From the trestle scene (22) through the final battle, fear and anxiety dominate with almost no respite, risking audience fatigue and numbing. To maintain engagement, weave in brief moments of normalcy, warmth, or comic relief—even 30-second pauses—to let the audience breathe. Additionally, deepen the emotional layers of action scenes by showing characters' internal conflict (grief, guilt, longing) rather than pure survival instinct. Finally, give Michael and Star more room to process their trauma after the climax; the 'evil is gone' resolution feels too clean and undermines the horror of their transformation.
> Go to Emotional Analysis
Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis highlights a clear arc for Michael: his internal struggle between freedom and responsibility is the emotional engine of the story. To strengthen the script, ensure every beat—especially his initial attraction to the Lost Boys and later rejection of vampirism—is dramatized with concrete choices. The resolution should feel earned by showing Michael's growing awareness of the cost of his desires. The Frog Brothers' comic relief and the family dynamics are assets; use them to reinforce Michael's moral awakening without undercutting the tension.
> Go to Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

Key Suggestions:
The thematic analysis confirms that the script's emotional core is family loyalty, with every subtheme—identity, temptation, good vs. evil, coming of age—reinforcing that central bond. To strengthen the script, ensure Michael's transformation arc clearly ties his identity crisis to the fear of losing his family, and that the Lost Boys' allure never overshadows the stakes of family unity. Consider deepening Sam's protective role and Grandpa's eventual involvement to make the family victory feel earned and resonant.
> Go to Themes
Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

Key Suggestions:
The analysis reveals key craft opportunities: the invitation rule is inconsistently applied (Lost Boys break in freely, while Max strictly observes it), and Grandpa's late-revealed vampire knowledge undermines his prior passivity. Tightening the vampire logic—either by clarifying exceptions or making the characters act coherently within the established rules—will strengthen world-building and reduce reliance on deus ex machina. Additionally, trimming redundant boardwalk and date sequences can sharpen pacing and keep the climax more impactful.
> Go to Logic & Inconsistencies

Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
Go to Scene Analysis

Other Analyses

Writer Exec

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

Key Suggestions:
Your voice is already distinctive and effective—cinematic, confident, and tonally balanced between horror and dark comedy. To deepen the script, consider layering more psychological or emotional texture into the characters (e.g., Michael’s internal conflict, the Lost Boys’ backstory) to complement the propulsive set-pieces. The dry, self-aware humor and tactile grotesquerie are strengths; ensure they never undercut the stakes or emotional core, especially in later scenes where the horror and comedy must coexist without diminishing each other.
> Go to Unique Voice
Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

Key Suggestions:
The screenplay demonstrates solid structural and genre instincts, but its biggest weakness is a lack of dramatic tension and emotional depth. The protagonist Michael is too passive—he reacts rather than makes active choices, which makes his transformation feel hollow. Dialogue is on-the-nose, telling emotions instead of showing them through behavior or subtext. The writer needs to build each scene around a clear character want and an opposing obstacle, and find ways to convey meaning through action, visual detail, and layered dialogue. The most promising moments (Grandpa’s quirks, Sam’s Windex joke, Laddie’s monologue) show a distinctive voice; lean into those specific, surprising beats and let them drive every scene. The horror-comedy tone can be better balanced by studying how ‘The Lost Boys’ and ‘The Monster Squad’ mix genuine stakes with humor without undermining either.
> Go to Writer's Craft
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
> Go to Memorable Lines
Tropes
Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.
> Go to Tropes
World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

Key Suggestions:
The world building effectively contrasts a sunny tourist boardwalk with a hidden nocturnal vampire lair, mirroring the thematic duality of innocence vs. corruption. To deepen the narrative, consider strengthening the sensory juxtaposition—for instance, emphasize the cheerful boardwalk sounds during the day versus the eerie silence or whispers at night. The cave and cliff settings already support Michael's transformation; linking specific environmental details (like the smell of salt vs. rot) to his changing perceptions could make the internal conflict more visceral. Additionally, the functional use of Grandpa's house as a fortress is solid, but adding a unique defensive feature tied to his taxidermy (e.g., a stuffed animal with hidden stakes) could heighten the quirky resourcefulness that defines the setting's charm.
> Go to World Building
Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

Key Suggestions:
The scene pattern analysis found no significant correlations between scenes. This is a positive sign: your script avoids obvious structural or thematic repetitions that could make it feel formulaic. However, this also means you should double-check that the narrative still has a strong, coherent through-line without relying on accidental patterns. Consider reviewing whether beats like character reactions or conflict escalation are varied enough to maintain tension.
> Go to Correlations
Loglines
Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.
> Go to Loglines