Knives Out

Overview

Unique Selling Point

This modern murder mystery with a unique voice that blends sharp dialogue, dark humor, and intricate plot twists offers a fresh take on the genre. Through its exploration of complex family dynamics, moral dilemmas, and unexpected revelations, this screenplay captivates the audience, keeping them engaged and guessing until the very end.

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines’ ratings to compare.

Gemini
Highly Recommend

Claude
Recommend

GPT4
Highly Recommend

See Details in P/C/R/HR Section

Story Facts

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller, Comedy, Crime

Setting: Contemporary, Thrombey estate and various other locations in Boston

Themes: Family Dynamics, Immigration and Identity, Truth and Deception, Wealth and Privilege

Conflict & Stakes: The primary conflicts revolve around Marta's innocence in Harlan's death, the family's inheritance, and the truth behind the mysterious events at the Thrombey estate. The stakes include Marta's freedom, the family's fortune, and the reputation of the Thrombey family.

Mood: Suspenseful and mysterious

Standout Features:

Ensemble Cast: Featuring a talented ensemble cast of established and rising stars
Twists and Turns: Intriguing plot twists and unexpected revelations keep the audience engaged
Social Commentary: Explores relevant social themes such as class divide and immigration issues

Comparable Scripts: Knives Out, Clue, Gosford Park, Death on the Nile, Knives Out: Glass Onion, The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, The Guest, Ready or Not, Bad Times at the El Royale, The Handmaiden

Script Level Analysis

This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.

Screenplay Insights

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Story Critique

Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.

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Characters

Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.

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Emotional Analysis

Breaks down the emotional journey of the audience across the script.

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Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.

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Themes

Analysis of the themes of the screenplay and how well they’re expressed.

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Logic & Inconsistencies

Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.

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Scene Analysis

All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.

Scene-Level Percentile Chart

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Conceptual writing with strong conflict and story progression, but character development and formatting require improvement.

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Key Strengths

High conflict level (84.55%) indicates compelling tension and drama.
Strong story forward momentum (89.82%) suggests a captivating and engaging narrative.

Areas for Improvement

Lower character ratings (23.57%) suggest characters may need more development and depth.
Formatting score (49.44%) could be improved to enhance readability and presentation.

Writer Style

The writer potentially leans towards conceptual writing, with higher percentiles in concept, plot, and structure.

Balancing Elements

Consider strengthening character development to balance the high conflict level.
Explore ways to improve formatting without compromising narrative flow.

Intuition Level

Conceptual

Overall Assessment

The screenplay shows potential for a compelling narrative with strong conflict and forward momentum, but could benefit from enhanced character development and formatting.

How this was done: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault (such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other produced scripts for each criteria.

How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library

Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.

Title	Grade	Percentile	Before	After
Script Visual Impact	8.90	99	Interstellar: 8.80	Knives Out: 8.90
Script Conflict	8.70	97	Stranger Things: 8.60	Knives Out: 8.70
Scene Engagement	9.02	95	V for Vendetta: 9.00	the dark knight rises: 9.02
Scene Unpredictability	7.91	89	the dark knight rises: 7.90	Knives Out: 7.91
Script Premise	8.80	88	V for Vendetta: 8.70	Casablanca: 8.80
Scene Conflict Level	8.5	88	Sherlock Holmes: 8.4	Rambo: 8.5
Script Characters	8.50	87	Parasite: 8.40	Knives Out: 8.50
Overall Script	8.41	86	Parasite: 8.40	Knives Out: 8.41
Scene Story Forward	8.6	84	Narcos Pilot: 8.5	the 5th element: 8.6
Scene Internal Goal	8.18	80	a few good men: 8.17	Knives Out: 8.18
Script Originality	8.30	75	American Fiction: 8.20	the 5th element: 8.30
Scene High Stakes	8.2	73	Ex-Machina: 8.1	Titanic: 8.2
Script Structure	8.22	70	Gran Torino: 8.21	Knives Out: 8.22
Scene Plot	8.2	67	American Fiction: 8.1	Casablanca: 8.2
Script Theme	8.40	66	Memento: 8.30	Titanic: 8.40
Script Structure	8.00	63	Promising young woman: 7.90	Knives Out: 8.00
Scene External Goal	7.34	63	12 years a slave: 7.33	Knives Out: 7.34
Scene Dialogue	8.0	61	Nickel Boys : 7.9	fight Club: 8.0
Scene Originality	8.78	61	Ex-Machina: 8.77	Casablanca: 8.78
Scene Formatting	8.20	60	Promising young woman: 8.19	Knives Out: 8.20
Scene Concept	8.2	56	Coda: 8.1	face/off: 8.2
Script Emotional Impact	7.90	54	Dune Part Two: 7.80	the dark knight rises: 7.90
Scene Pacing	8.27	53	glass Onion Knives Out : 8.26	Knives Out: 8.27
Scene Character Changes	7.1	53	Triangle of sadness: 7.0	Knives Out: 7.1
Scene Overall	8.4	51	Silicon Valley: 8.3	Knives Out: 8.4
Scene Emotional Impact	7.7	40	Jack Reacher: 7.6	severance (TV): 7.7
Scene Characters	8.0	18	Narcos Pilot: 7.9	Knives Out: 8.0

Other Analyses

This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.

Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

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Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

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Memorable Lines

Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.

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Tropes

Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.

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World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

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Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

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Loglines

Presents logline variations based on theme, genre, and hook.

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Unique Voice

Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.

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Writer's Craft

Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.

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Memorable Lines

Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.

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Tropes

Highlights common or genre-specific tropes found in the script.

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World Building

Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.

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Correlations

Identifies patterns in scene scores.

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Loglines

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Engine: Gemini

Screenplay Rating:

Highly Recommend

Executive Summary

Knives Out is a highly engaging and well-crafted murder mystery with a unique premise, a diverse cast of characters, and witty dialogue. The screenplay masterfully constructs a complex plot with numerous twists and turns, keeping the audience guessing until the very end. While the motivations of some characters could be explored in greater depth, the overall narrative strength and pacing are excellent, making this screenplay a highly recommendable read.

Strengths

The screenplay masterfully constructs a complex and engaging mystery with numerous twists and turns, keeping the audience guessing until the very end. high
The initial scene effectively sets the stage for the mystery, introducing the intriguing setting and the central event of Harlan's death. The subsequent flashbacks further deepen the mystery and reveal the complexities of Harlan's relationships with his family. high ( Scene 1 Scene 13 Scene 14 )
The screenplay boasts a diverse and well-developed cast of characters, each with their own unique motivations and flaws. high
The dialogue is sharp, witty, and often humorous, adding to the entertainment value of the screenplay. medium
The pacing of the screenplay is excellent, balancing moments of suspense with character development and humor, keeping the audience engaged throughout. medium

Areas of Improvement

The motivations of some characters, particularly the Thrombey family members, could be explored in greater depth to provide a more nuanced understanding of their actions. medium

MissingElements

NotablePoints

The screenplay cleverly subverts typical mystery tropes, creating a unique and unexpected narrative. high
The theme of wealth and privilege is subtly woven into the narrative, adding depth and social commentary to the story. medium
The unexpected alliance between Marta and Ransom adds an interesting dynamic to the story and further complicates the mystery. medium ( Scene 27 Scene 30 )

Engine: Claude

Screenplay Rating:

Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay for 'Knives Out' is a well-crafted, engaging, and thematically rich murder mystery that keeps the audience guessing and entertains throughout. The strong narrative structure, exceptional character development, and sharp dialogue make it a highly recommended work. While a few minor pacing issues and a slightly understated protagonist's arc could be improved, the screenplay's overall strengths, innovative storytelling, and exploration of complex themes make it a compelling and distinctive piece that would appeal to a wide audience.

Strengths

The screenplay has a strong narrative structure that keeps the audience engaged throughout the story. The plot twists and reveals are well-paced and effectively executed. high
The characterization is exceptional, with each character being well-developed and having a distinct personality and motivations. The relationships between the characters are complex and nuanced. high
The dialogue is sharp, witty, and natural, capturing the unique voices of the characters. It serves to further the plot and deepen the characters' relationships. high
The screenplay masterfully blends elements of mystery, suspense, and dark humor, creating a compelling and entertaining viewing experience. high
The screenplay explores complex themes of inheritance, family dynamics, and moral ambiguity in a nuanced and thought-provoking manner. high

Areas of Improvement

While the overall pacing is strong, there are a few instances where the narrative slows down or drags, which could be tightened to maintain the momentum. medium

MissingElements

The screenplay could benefit from a more explicit exploration of the protagonist's (Marta's) internal journey and character arc, as her transformation and growth are somewhat understated. medium

NotablePoints

The screenplay's innovative use of unreliable narration and shifting perspectives is a highlight, keeping the audience guessing and engaged throughout the story. high
The screenplay's thematic exploration of inheritance, privilege, and moral responsibility is nuanced and thought-provoking, adding depth to the narrative. high
The screenplay's stylistic elements, such as the use of symbolism (e.g., the GO board, Harlan's baseball) and visual storytelling, are effective in conveying the story's themes and character arcs. high

Engine: GPT4

Screenplay Rating:

Highly Recommend

Executive Summary

The screenplay 'Knives Out' presents a compelling murder mystery with a richly woven plot full of twists and character depth. It balances humor, suspense, and drama effectively, making it a standout script that should attract audiences who enjoy clever storytelling and complex characters.

Strengths

The screenplay features a complex and engaging plot with multiple twists that maintain suspense and intrigue throughout. high
Character development, especially of Marta and Ransom, is well-executed, showing depth and evolution in their personalities and motives. high ( Scene 38 Scene 44 )
The dialogue is sharp and witty, contributing to character development and the overall tone of the screenplay. medium ( Scene 44 )
The use of settings and props (like the fake knife and the toxicology report) are cleverly integrated into the plot, enhancing the storytelling. medium ( Scene 45 )
The screenplay maintains a good pace, balancing slower, more introspective sections with fast-paced, dramatic moments. medium

Areas of Improvement

Some scenes may benefit from slight trimming to enhance pacing and maintain tension without over-explaining scenarios. medium
The motivations behind some secondary characters' actions could be clarified to enhance the plot's believability. low

MissingElements

A deeper exploration of the emotional impact of Harlan's death on the family could add depth to the characters' reactions and decisions. medium

NotablePoints

The screenplay effectively uses humor and irony, particularly through Blanc's character, which adds a unique flavor to the murder mystery genre. high
The twist where Marta is revealed to have unknowingly corrected her medication mistake adds a brilliant layer of irony and suspense. high ( Scene 44 )

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Screenplay Insights:

Overall Grade: 8.41

Characters: 8.5, The screenplay exhibits notable strengths in character development, creating a cast of well-rounded and engaging individuals. However, there are opportunities to further refine the emotional depth and progression of certain characters to enhance their relatability and impact on the audience. See More

Premise: 8.8, The screenplay for "Knives Out" boasts a captivating and clear premise, skillfully blending elements of classic whodunit mysteries with contemporary social commentary. The setup effectively intrigues the audience with its intricate family dynamics, suspicious characters, and the enigmatic presence of Benoit Blanc. However, the initial focus on Marta's vulnerability could be further enhanced by highlighting her unique skills and connection to Harlan, providing a stronger hook for her central role in unraveling the mystery. See More

Structure: 8.0, The screenplay demonstrates a solid narrative foundation with an intriguing murder mystery and a diverse cast of characters. However, its pacing could be tightened, and certain plot points benefit from further development. Overall, the screenplay holds promise but may require some fine-tuning to enhance its storytelling effectiveness. See More

Theme: 8.4, The screenplay effectively explores themes of family dynamics, morality, and the clash between tradition and modernity. The themes are interwoven into the narrative seamlessly, providing depth and resonance to the story. While the exploration of some themes could be further refined, the screenplay successfully conveys its messages and engages the audience on multiple levels. See More

Visual Impact: 8.9, This screenplay features detailed and creative visual descriptions that successfully immerse readers in the film's world, enhance the emotional tone, and support the narrative effectively. However, there are opportunities to further elevate the visual storytelling by exploring lighting techniques and integrating more symbolism. See More

Emotional Impact: 7.9, The screenplay showcases strong emotional depth by eliciting empathy for its nuanced characters and their struggles. It effectively employs emotional variety and consistency, immersing the audience in a range of feelings. However, opportunities exist to further enhance emotional resonance by deepening character connections and exploring transformative emotional arcs. See More

Conflict: 8.7, The screenplay effectively employs conflict and stakes to generate tension and engage the audience. The central conflict, revolving around the circumstances of Harlan Thrombey's death and the subsequent investigation, is well-defined and compelling. The stakes are significant, encompassing not only the fate of Marta Cabrera but also the dynamics and secrets within the Thrombey family. However, the narrative could benefit from further escalation of stakes, particularly in the second and third acts, to maintain a consistently high level of audience engagement. See More

Originality: 8.3, The screenplay showcases originality and creative approaches through its exploration of the nuances of family relationships and the complexities of human nature. The writer effectively utilizes a non-linear narrative structure, compelling characters, and the subversion of genre expectations, resulting in a fresh and engaging cinematic experience. See More

Summary In the aftermath of wealthy mystery novelist Harlan Thrombey's murder, a complex web of deception and betrayal unravels within his family. Nurse Marta Cabrera becomes embroiled in the investigation and is forced to navigate a treacherous path to uncover the truth. As secrets come to light, suspicions mount, leading to shocking revelations about the true nature of Harlan's death. In a final confrontation with Ransom Drysdale, Marta must confront the darkness within her family and choose between loyalty and justice. With Benoit Blanc's guidance, Marta faces a decision that will shape her future and the fate of the Thrombey family.

Screenplay Story Analysis

Story Critique The screenplay has a strong and engaging plot with a well-crafted mystery that keeps the audience guessing until the very end. The characters are well-developed and relatable, and their interactions are both believable and entertaining. The story is paced well, with each scene building on the previous one to create a sense of suspense and anticipation. The resolution of the mystery is satisfying and provides a sense of closure, while still leaving some lingering questions that encourage discussion and interpretation. Overall, the plot and story of the screenplay are well-executed and provide a compelling and enjoyable experience for the audience.

Suggestions: Consider adding more depth and complexity to the characters' backstories and motivations. This could help the audience connect with the characters on a deeper level and make their actions and decisions more understandable. Additionally, exploring different ways to reveal the mystery throughout the screenplay could create a more engaging and suspenseful experience for the audience.

Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here

Beginning The beginning of the screenplay is strong and effective in introducing the characters and setting up the mystery. The introduction of Marta as a kind and compassionate character immediately creates empathy for her, and the discovery of Harlan Thrombey's murdered body sets up a compelling mystery that drives the rest of the story. The introduction of the eccentric family members and the private investigator, Benoit Blanc, adds intrigue and humor to the story, and the initial interviews with the family members provide a good foundation for the investigation.

Suggestions: Consider adding more details about the family's relationships and dynamics to provide a stronger context for the mystery. Additionally, exploring different ways to introduce Benoit Blanc and his role in the investigation could create a more engaging and memorable introduction for the character.

Middle The middle part of the screenplay effectively develops the mystery and keeps the audience engaged. The investigation progresses at a good pace, with each new clue and revelation leading to more questions and suspicions. The interactions between the characters are well-written and provide both humor and tension. The introduction of the Thrombey family's secrets and conflicts adds depth to the story and creates a sense of unease and mistrust. Overall, the middle part of the screenplay is engaging and well-executed, and it keeps the audience invested in the mystery.

Suggestions: Consider adding more scenes that explore the relationships between the family members and Marta. This could help develop the characters further and create a stronger emotional connection between them and the audience. Additionally, expanding on the investigation process and including more forensic details could add depth and realism to the mystery.

Ending The ending of the screenplay is satisfying and provides a sense of closure while still leaving some lingering questions. The revelation of the killer's identity and their motives is well-executed and provides a logical and believable explanation for the events of the story. The final confrontation between the characters is tense and suspenseful, and it provides a satisfying resolution to the mystery. Overall, the ending of the screenplay is well-written and provides a satisfying conclusion to the story.

Suggestions: Consider adding more details about the killer's backstory and motivations. This could help the audience understand their actions and decisions more fully. Additionally, exploring different ways to reveal the killer's identity and their plan could create a more surprising and memorable ending.

CharacterInconsistencies

Character Greatnana
Description Greatnana's mental state and level of awareness seem to fluctuate throughout the script. In some scenes, she appears senile and disoriented, while in others, she is surprisingly perceptive and observant, as evidenced by her recognizing Ransom and whispering crucial information to Blanc.
( Scene 7 Scene 9 Scene 17 Scene 32 )
Character Ransom
Description Ransom's motivations and actions seem to shift abruptly. Initially, he appears genuinely affected by Harlan's decision to cut him out of the will, but then he quickly transitions to a manipulative and cunning demeanor, plotting with Marta and ultimately resorting to violence.
( Scene 22 Scene 27 Scene 29 )

StoryInconsistencies

Description The ease with which Marta retrieves the security tape from the guard house seems unrealistic, given the importance of such evidence in a criminal investigation.
( Scene 20 )
Description The lack of thorough investigation in Harlan's study, particularly regarding the medical bag and potential evidence, seems inconsistent with standard police procedure, especially considering the presence of Benoit Blanc.
( Scene 21 )

PlotHoles

DialogueAuthenticity

Description The overly dramatic and expository dialogue between Marta's mother and sister feels forced and unnatural, serving primarily to convey information about Marta's emotional state and the family's background.
( Scene 3 )
Description Ransom's frequent use of vulgar language and insults towards his family, even in moments of supposed sincerity or vulnerability, seems excessive and detracts from the authenticity of his character's emotional journey.
( Scene 22 Scene 27 )

Redundancies

Element Dialogue emphasizing family conflict
( Scene 17 Scene 22 Scene 28 )
Suggestion While the family's dysfunction is a central theme, the repetitive arguments and insults could be streamlined or rearranged to maintain narrative momentum and avoid redundancy.

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Marta - Score: 89/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ISFJ
Enneagram: Type 2 (The Helper)

Scenes

Strongest: #12
Weakest: #7

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

Marta's identity as a dedicated nurse and a complex immigrant character.

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Marta's internal conflicts surrounding guilt, loyalty, and identity.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 9/10

Marta evolves from a passive character to one who finds her voice and fights for her truth.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Marta's dialogue reflects her innocence, compassion, and struggle to assert herself.

Behavior And Choices 9/10

Marta's choices stem from her integrity, compassion, and desire to protect her family.

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Marta's connections with Harlan, the Thrombey family, and Fran drive her character story.

Scene Impact 9/10

Marta's presence often heightens emotional stakes and moral dilemmas.

Role Fulfillment 10/10

Marta embodies the protagonist's journey filled with moral questions and truth-seeking.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Marta's journey interweaves personal stakes with larger social issues.

Emotional Resonance 10/10

Marta successfully engages the audience's empathy and tension.

Foundational Definition

Score: 9

Marta Cabrera is presented as Harlan Thrombey's nurse and caretaker, highlighting her commitment to her job and her close bond with him. She is depicted as hardworking, kind, and dedicated, rooted in her immigrant background, which shapes her worldview and informs her desire for stability and belonging. These traits make her a sympathetic character, reflecting challenges faced by those striving for success despite systemic barriers.

Values And Beliefs: Compassion for others, Dedication to her work, Innocence and morality despite personal challenges

Strengths And Skills: Medical knowledge and nursing skills, Empathy and understanding, Resilience under pressure

Suggestions

Explore more of Marta's backstory to deepen audience connection.
Show more instances of her integrity under pressure.

Follow-up Questions

How does Marta's background influence her choices throughout the story?
In what specific ways does her relationship with Harlan affect her actions and development?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 8

Marta experiences internal conflict throughout the screenplay. She grapples with the guilt of potentially causing Harlan's death while balancing her loyalty to him and the Thrombey family dynamics. Additionally, her fear of losing her family and her uncertain future adds layers to her character, revealing vulnerability and strength. Marta's emotional wound is her struggle to find her place in a world that often dismisses her agency and identity.

Character Wound: Struggle with guilt and belonging due to her cultural background and personal connections.

Character Flaws: Overburdened by guilt, Struggles with self-assertion in confrontations

Suggestions

Delve deeper into her emotional responses during key dramatic moments.
Highlight her moments of doubt to illustrate her internal struggle.

Follow-up Questions

How does Marta's guilt impact her decisions as the story progresses?
What could initiate a significant turning point in Marta's character arc?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 9

Marta's journey reflects a significant transformation throughout the screenplay as she faces escalating challenges and ultimately confronts her guilt. Initially, she is riddled with fear and doubt, attempting to navigate the complex family dynamics and her perceived culpability. However, upon learning the truth of her situation, she gradually becomes more assertive, eventually choosing to seek justice for herself and Harlan. This signifies a powerful shift from being a mere pawn to an active agent in her own narrative.

Polarity Changes: From uncertainty to clarity regarding her innocence, From victimhood to empowerment as she asserts herself

Transformation Triggers: Harlan’s death and her subsequent cover-up actions, The revelation of the blackmail by Fran

Suggestions

Clarify specific turning points that could encapsulate her growth.
Emphasize the moment she takes responsibility for her actions and supports others' well-being.

Follow-up Questions

What specific event catalyzes Marta’s decision to confront her fears?
In what ways does her transformation impact her relationships with the Thrombey family?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Marta's speech patterns are marked by a hesitancy to express herself, particularly when confronted by the Thrombey family. Her dialogue often conveys vulnerability and a desire for understanding, while also hinting at her growing strength. As she deals with increasing pressure, her ability to articulate her thoughts and desires becomes more pronounced, signifying her character growth throughout the film.

Unique Voice: Introspective and sometimes hesitant, but maintains sincere empathy.

Suggestions

Add distinct qualities to her voice that emerge gradually as she gains confidence.
Include moments where her vocabulary mirrors her emotional state more vividly.

Follow-up Questions

How can Marta’s dialogue evolve to better express her transformation?
Are there specific moments where her speech could foreshadow her growing assertiveness?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 9

Marta's actions are driven by her commitment to Harlan and her instinct to protect her mother. Throughout the narrative, her choices often reflect deep reservoirs of kindness and morality, but they also illustrate her internal conflict between self-protection and loyalty. Her initial reaction to not report Harlan's death points to an immediate instinct to shield her integrity and familial ties from scrutiny, highlighting her character's complexities and the pressures she faces.

Motivations: To save her family from injustice and to secure her own future.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to fit in and be accepted by the family -> needs to establish her own identity and moral standing.

Suggestions

Show more contrasting choices that she makes under pressure.
Explore how her decisions affect other characters, amplifying her narrative importance.

Follow-up Questions

What specific decisions signal a shift in Marta's agency throughout the film?
How do her choices impact her sense of self and the unfolding drama?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 8

Marta's relationships are central to her development. Her bond with Harlan establishes her role as a caretaker, which is both rewarding and burdensome. The family dynamics with the Thrombeys reveal varying levels of acceptance, as Marta walks the tightrope between being part of the family and being an outsider. Additionally, her complicated relationship with Fran adds urgency and depth to her moral dilemmas as both figure into the overarching mystery of Harlan's death.

Suggestions

Explore deeper emotional connections to her relationships to further illuminate her choices.
Highlight key moments that resonate with Harlan's influence on her life.

Follow-up Questions

Which relationships most significantly shape Marta's character arc?
Are there moments that specifically reveal shifts in her dynamics with the Thrombeys?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

In both pivotal and minor scenes, Marta’s presence raises tensions as her actions have significant ripple effects in the narrative. Her interactions with Harlan introduce themes of mortality and accountability, while her confrontations with the family create emotional turmoil. Marta’s decisions not only propel the plot forward but also deepen the audience's empathy for her as they navigate internal and external conflicts, solidifying her impact throughout the screenplay.

Suggestions

Maximize emotional stakes in scenes through Marta's reactions and dilemmas.
Increase tension by juxtaposing her emotions against other characters’ agendas.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes showcase Marta's critical impact on other characters' arcs?
How can her emotional state be linked more explicitly to scene outcomes?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 10

Marta serves as the central protagonist whose narrative explores themes of morality, identity, and resilience. Her role is characterized by the struggles of an immigrant contending with both societal bias and personal guilt. Unlike many other characters, she embodies the moral compass of the story, leading to moments of introspection and truth. By the end, she stands as a figure of justice and self-advocacy, fulfilling the narrative's need for a champion of integrity.

Symbolic Role: Symbolizes innocence and the oft-overlooked sacrifices of caregivers.

Suggestions

Emphasize Marta's unique perspective as a caregiver in her character choices.
Explore the implications of her journey in the broader family dynamics.

Follow-up Questions

How do societal themes manifest through Marta's character?
How well does her role as protagonist resonate with the film's overall message?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

Marta's character is a lens through which the screenplay explores themes of privilege, accountability, and personal truth. Her quest for identity and home resonates with social justice themes regarding immigrants and healthcare workers. The juxtaposition of her struggles against the backdrop of the wealthy Thrombey family enhances the overall narrative weight, allowing her journey to underscore the script’s commentary on familial loyalty versus ethical responsibility.

Suggestions

Integrate more dialogue linking her experiences to broader societal themes.
Use her interactions to clarify thematic connections in key scenes.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways do Marta's experiences reflect contemporary societal issues?
How can her story arc deepen the overarching themes of familial dynamics and morality?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 10

Marta successfully draws emotional responses from the audience, evoking a range of feelings from empathy to tension. Her vulnerability amid chaos is palpably felt as she navigates moral dilemmas and familial pressures. Each emotional beat, from her panic during Harlan's death to her relief upon learning Fran is alive, resonates deeply, making her journey relatable and impactful.

Emotional Impact: Marta evokes sympathy and heightened emotional stakes throughout the screenplay.

Suggestions

Increase focus on key emotional moments to deepen audience connection.
Explore her psychological turmoil more vividly in critical scenes.

Follow-up Questions

What specific moments in her journey connect most deeply with the audience?
How can her emotional moments be heightened to amplify resonance?

Personality Types

MBTI: isfj

Marta exhibits traits of being caring, detail-oriented, and conscientious, typical of ISFJs. They often work behind the scenes, displaying loyalty and a strong sense of duty.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: infp (65%)

Suggestions

Emphasize her emotionally driven decisions to align with an ISFJ perspective.
Incorporate more internal conflict to explore her INFP side.

Follow-up Questions

How does Marta’s character align with typical ISFJ traits?
What moments can showcase her internal struggles more deeply?

Enneagram: type 2 (the helper)

Marta embodies the characteristics of a Type 2, often placing the needs of others above her own and being motivated by a desire to help and nurture.

Confidence: 90%

Possible Alternative Type: type 6 (the loyalist) (70%)

Suggestions

Highlight her selflessness in situations of stress to reinforce her Type 2 traits.
Explore moments of loyalty that signify a Type 6 personality.

Follow-up Questions

What specific moments highlight Marta’s inclination to serve and help others?
How can her loyalty to Harlan be portrayed to amplify her Type 6 traits?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (12)

Marta’s confession during the police interrogation.

Why: This scene stands out as it crystallizes her emotional turmoil and the weight of her choices, giving depth to her character and plot tension.

Weakest Scene (7)

Marta's moment of panic after finding out about Harlan's death.

Why: This scene feels weak because it doesn't fully explore her emotional depth or response to the moment, leaving her reaction seemingly flat.

Suggestions:

Add more internal monologue to reveal her thoughts and fears.
Incorporate visual symbolism to enhance the emotional depth of her response.

Blanc - Score: 87/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: ENTP
Enneagram: Type 5 (The Investigator)

Scenes

Strongest: #44

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

Intelligent investigator with strong values of justice.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

A weary investigator navigating moral complexities.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 8/10

Remains an unwavering seeker of truth throughout the narrative.

Dialogue And Voice 9/10

Distinctive southern charm coupled with keen observations.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Analytical yet approachable; driven by a moral compass.

Relationship Dynamics 9/10

Keyly interacts with both the Thrombey family and Marta.

Scene Impact 9/10

Intensifies conflict, often shifting the scene's emotional tone.

Role Fulfillment 10/10

Embodies the archetype of the detective, holding moral integrity.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Intrinsically links to the themes of truth, morality, and family.

Emotional Resonance 9/10

Elicits strong emotional responses through tension and moral complexity.

Foundational Definition

Score: 9

Benoit Blanc is portrayed as an insightful, intelligent private investigator known for his exceptional deductive reasoning skills. His character centers around his southern charm and eloquent speech, which blend with a keen analytical mind that allows him to unravel complex mysteries. Blanc's values reflect a strong sense of justice and truth, positioning him as a morally upright figure in stark contrast to the deceitful Thrombey family. He believes in discovering the truth no matter how convoluted the case may be, highlighting his commitment to integrity and the pursuit of justice.

Values And Beliefs: Truth and justice are paramount; he believes in addressing issues directly and ethically.

Strengths And Skills: Exceptional deductive reasoning, charismatic, persuasive speaking, and a talent for reading people.

Suggestions

Explore Blanc's backstory to reveal what drives his uncompromising pursuit of truth.
Annotate his unique deductive techniques more explicitly in key scenes for a stronger connection with the audience.

Follow-up Questions

How did Blanc's past experiences shape his investigative methods?
What personal values drive his interactions with the Thrombey family?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Although Blanc appears confident and composed, there exists a subtle depth to his character suggesting the emotional burdens held by those who constantly seek the truth. His interactions imply that he is weary of the human condition and the moral failings he observes through his investigations. This complexity adds a layer to his character, providing room for personal growth and reflection on the moral gray areas in his profession.

Character Wound: Potential fatigue from witnessing the darker sides of humanity and the moral dilemmas involved in his work.

Character Flaws: Might come off as overly optimistic or naive about the motivations of others.

Suggestions

Develop scenes that illustrate the emotional toll of previous cases on Blanc.
Incorporate dialogue that reflects his frustrations with human nature.

Follow-up Questions

What are Blanc's views on morality, and how might they have been impacted by his career?
How do his frustrations with humanity affect his methods as a detective?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 8

Benoit Blanc maintains a steadiness in his character arc, consistently pushing for honesty and clarity in a narrative filled with deception. His role as a detective excels in bringing out the truth, ultimately affirming his impact and presence in the story as an unyielding force against dishonesty.

Polarity Changes: None; stays committed to his values throughout.

Transformation Triggers: Interacting with the Thrombey family and facing the complexities of their relationships.

Suggestions

Highlight moments where Blanc's presence actively shifts the dynamic within the family.
Include scenes where his investigative techniques lead to key revelations that shape the plot.

Follow-up Questions

How do minor characters impact Blanc's overarching story arc?
Are there indications of potential vulnerability that could be explored?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 9

Benoit Blanc's dialogue is characterized by a poetic quality, blending humor with incisive analysis that enhances his intelligence and charm. His speech reflects a well-polished persona that entertains while probing for deeper truths, making key deductions feel organic and impactful.

Unique Voice: Tends to use elaborate metaphors and maintains a calm, almost relaxed demeanor which contrasts the tension in scenes.

Suggestions

Infuse more metaphorical language in Blanc's dialogue to strengthen his unique voice.
Utilize humor more strategically to lighten tense scenes.

Follow-up Questions

How does Blanc's tone shift when he confronts suspects versus casual conversations?
Are there specific phrases or patterns in his speech that could evolve over time?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Throughout the screenplay, Blanc exemplifies behaviors consistent with a detective dedicated to truth-seeking. His choices often reflect a balance between intellect and empathy as he navigates interactions with family members, pushing them to confront their lies. This combination renders his actions significant to the plot’s development, as he consistently raises moral questions regarding truth and responsibility.

Motivations: Driven by a desire to uncover the truth and deliver justice.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to solve the case but should also demonstrate a deeper need for personal peace regarding the human condition.

Suggestions

Show more direct emotional reactions when confronted with the family's attitudes.
Explore his detective methods in more depth to convey a clearer logic behind his decisions.

Follow-up Questions

How do Blanc’s values influence his choices in investigatory methods?
In what ways could Blanc's decisions directly affect Marta's storyline?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 9

Blanc's rapport with the Thrombey family varies from confrontational to inquisitive, revealing the tension between his values and their manipulative tendencies. His connection with Marta is built on trust and ethical guidance, allowing her character arc to unfold against his moral backdrop.

Suggestions

Flesh out moments that deepen Blanc's relationship with Marta.
Introduce more conflict with the Thrombey family to heighten tension.

Follow-up Questions

How does Blanc's relationship dynamic with the Thrombey family evolve throughout the investigation?
What pivotal moments may redefine his connection with Marta?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

Benoit Blanc's presence in scenes often escalates the conflict as he draws out the truths hidden beneath the family's façade. His analytical remarks and probing inquiries not only introduce tension but also provide clarity, steering the emotional undertone of interactions — both within investigation contexts and in quiet, interpersonal moments.

Suggestions

Seek to amplify Blanc's impact in scenes through physical actions that complement dialogue.
Develop scenes where his presence leads to significant turning points in emotional tension.

Follow-up Questions

What moments in the screenplay reflect Blanc innately altering the scene's tension?
How can Blanc's presence affect the audience's emotional journey alongside Marta?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 10

As the protagonist and detective, Blanc fulfills his role with a blend of charisma and moral fortitude, challenging the ethical decay of the Thrombey family. His symbolic representation stands against the greed and manipulation of the other characters, highlighting themes of truth versus deception within the narrative arc. His fierce commitment to uncovering the truth elevates his character as a moral visionary despite the chaos surrounding him.

Symbolic Role: Represents the pursuit of truth against corruption.

Suggestions

Ensure his decisions align consistently with his core values.
Clarify moments where Blanc's role could be subverted or reinforced.

Follow-up Questions

How does Blanc represent broader themes of truth and justice within the family dynamic?
In what ways could Blanc's actions affect the Thrombey family's journey?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

Blanc's personal journey throughout the storyline closely intertwines with the screenplay's overarching themes. His determination to expose the hidden truths resonates with the larger narrative about moral decay and familial loyalty, setting the stage for climactic confrontations. His actions reinforce the thematic essence around the complexities of familial bonds amidst deceit, lending depth to the mystery he unravels.

Suggestions

Expand on how Blanc views morality as an intrinsic theme within the family drama.
Deepen connections between Blanc's personal journey and the thematic message of the screenplay.

Follow-up Questions

How might Blanc's character catalyze thematic shifts in other characters?
How do Blanc's investigations reflect broader societal themes present in the screenplay?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 9

Benoit Blanc effectively evokes a spectrum of emotional responses from the audience, ranging from admiration for his moral stance to suspense regarding his uncovering of truths. His presence often enhances tension, drawing viewers into the investigation while maintaining an emotional connection to Marta's journey, ultimately framing him as a pivotal figure in the audience's emotional engagement.

Emotional Impact: Elicits tension, curiosity, and admiration for his integrity.

Suggestions

Focus on moments that deepen audience empathy for Blanc during tense interactions.
Utilize moments of introspection to heighten emotional resonance.

Follow-up Questions

What emotional beats tied to Blanc resonate most strongly with the audience?
How can Blanc's character arc enhance the emotional impact of the climax?

Personality Types

MBTI: entp

Blanc demonstrates traits consistent with an ENTP, showcasing creativity and a penchant for critical thinking while engaging with complex situations.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: intj (70%)

Suggestions

Leverage his inventive thinking to devise unexpected solutions to plot challenges.
Highlight moments where his intuition plays a key role in plot developments.

Follow-up Questions

How does Blanc's MBTI type influence his interaction with other characters?
Are there instances where his personality type causes conflict or harmony?

Enneagram: type 5 (the investigator)

As a keen observer and analytical thinker, Blanc fits the Type 5 Enneagram, driven by knowledge and a desire to understand complexity.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: type 1 (the reformer) (50%)

Suggestions

Incorporate qualities of his Enneagram type to deepen his character motivation.
Use emotional arcs to showcase how his investigative nature struggles against ethical dilemmas.

Follow-up Questions

How does Blanc's Enneagram type affect his approach to investigation?
What moments showcase the conflict between truth-seeking and ethical considerations?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (44)

In the Library scene, Blanc lays bare the truth of Ransom's manipulation and sets the stage for the final confrontation, showcasing his analytical prowess.

Why: This scene encapsulates Blanc's central role as the moral compass who reveals deep truths and drives the narrative toward resolution.

Weakest Scene (0)

none

Why: none

Suggestions:

Ensure his motivations are clear when facing the Thrombey family, heightening stakes.
Expand on his interactions during quieter moments before the main investigation heats up.

Ransom - Score: 83/100

Role

Antagonist

Personality

MBTI: ENTP
Enneagram: 3

Scenes

Strongest: #28
Weakest: #33

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

Arrogant, charming, and resentful grandson

Complexity And Depth 7/10

Insecure yet manipulative character dealing with family pressures

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 9/10

Ransom undergoes a significant arc toward self-destruction.

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Ransom's dialogue is sharp, sarcastic, and often cutting.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Ransom's behavior is often manipulative and self-serving.

Relationship Dynamics 9/10

Ransom's relationships are fraught with tension and manipulation.

Scene Impact 9/10

Ransom serves as a catalyst for conflict in key scenes.

Role Fulfillment 8/10

Ransom plays the archetypal role of the rebellious heir.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Ransom's journey is intertwined with themes of privilege and betrayal.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Evokes tension and frustration alongside intrigue.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Ransom Drysdale is introduced as a roguishly handsome man in his early 30s who feels disconnected from his wealthy family. He has a love-hate bond with them, particularly with his grandfather, Harlan Thrombey. His backstory involves growing up in the shadow of the Thrombey family's success, which breeds a sense of entitlement and resentment. Ransom's foundational traits include arrogance, charm, and a manipulative streak; these qualities significantly shape his interactions and motivations throughout the screenplay.

Values And Beliefs: Belief in entitlement due to family wealth, underlying resentment towards family, desire for independence.

Strengths And Skills: Charismatic, manipulative, cunning, quick thinking.

Suggestions

Explore Ransom's motivations further in personal reflections to add depth.
Revisit key moments of his childhood to illustrate his feeling of being overshadowed by family success.

Follow-up Questions

How did Ransom's upbringing influence his current relationships with family members?
What specific events in Ransom's past might have contributed to his sense of entitlement?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Ransom exhibits emotional flaws, primarily stemming from his upbringing and the pressure to conform to family expectations. He struggles with feeling like an outsider within his own family, despite being a part of it. This insecurity often manifests as manipulative behavior to regain control and assert dominance. His emotional wounds fuel a significant internal conflict: a desire to be accepted by his family while also seeking to undermine them for personal gain.

Character Wound: Feelings of being an outsider despite being part of a wealthy family

Character Flaws: Arrogance, entitlement, manipulation, lack of empathy.

Suggestions

Include moments of vulnerability that reveal Ransom's deeper insecurities.
Create interactions with family members that highlight his complicated feelings.

Follow-up Questions

What specific incidents caused Ransom to feel alienated from his family?
How do Ransom's emotional wounds influence his decisions throughout the script?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 9

Ransom’s arc primarily involves escalating desperation as his plans to manipulate the aftermath of Harlan's death unravel. Initially, he appears confident and in control, but as events unfold, particularly with Blanc’s investigation, Ransom's facade begins to crack. The combination of his manipulative tactics failing and the growing evidence against him leads to his ultimate downfall.

Polarity Changes: Starts as a charming antagonist but ends up exposed and defeated.

Transformation Triggers: The pressure from the police investigation and failure of his schemes.

Suggestions

Clarify Ransom's motivations during key confrontations to enhance the audience's understanding of his arc.
Add moments that reveal his growing frustration, showing the transition from confidence to desperation.

Follow-up Questions

What key moments signify Ransom's shift from confidence to desperation?
How does Ransom's interaction with Marta reveal changes in his character throughout the film?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 8

Ransom’s speech often reflects his arrogant personality, characterized by a sarcastic tone and biting comments aimed at family and authority figures. His quips become a shield to hide his insecurities and reflect his contempt for his relatives. As the story progresses, his dialogue shifts subtly to reveal the cracks in his confidence as he faces increasing pressure.

Unique Voice: Uses wit and sarcasm to convey contempt for others while masking deeper insecurities.

Suggestions

Inject moments of vulnerability into his dialogue to deepen his characterization.
Create contrast in scenes by varying his tone based on his confidence level.

Follow-up Questions

How do Ransom's dialogue choices reflect his internal conflict?
Can elements of his dialogue be softened at key moments to explore additional aspects of his character?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Throughout the screenplay, Ransom’s behavior is driven by self-interest, as he manipulates situations to benefit himself or harm others. He makes calculated choices to interact with family members in ways that exploit their vulnerabilities. His decisions lead to escalating tension as his plans devolve into desperate actions to secure his inheritance.

Motivations: Desire for wealth and revenge against his family for perceived slights.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires money and control; needs to confront his insecurities and need for genuine connections.

Suggestions

Use Ransom's decisions to show the impact of desperation on his character development.
Highlight the consequences of his choices on his relationships to deepen the narrative.

Follow-up Questions

What motivates Ransom's decision-making process throughout the story?
How do his choices lead to his ultimate downfall in the narrative?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 9

Ransom's interactions with his family members reveal an underlying animosity masked by a veneer of charm. He often plays against their insecurities while attempting to position himself as the victim. His relationship with Marta is particularly complicated, as he oscillates between romantic interest and calculating manipulator. The dynamics serve to highlight Ransom's antagonistic role, ultimately culminating in betrayal and confrontation.

Suggestions

Develop deeper connections with individual family members to clarify his motivations.
Explore moments that reveal how his relationship with Marta changes over the course of the plot.

Follow-up Questions

How do Ransom's relationships with family members influence his actions in the screenplay?
In what ways does his dynamic with Marta specifically evolve throughout the story?

Scene Impact

Score: 9

His presence in scenes often introduces tension and heightens stakes, particularly during family confrontations and his interactions with Marta. Ransom's decisions and manipulations drive key plot points, making him central to the unfolding mystery. In moments of confrontation or revelation, he facilitates changes in the dynamics among the family, pushing them closer to the truth.

Suggestions

Enhance Ransom's actions in scenes to underscore his role as a source of tension.
Create moments where his influence on the action becomes even more pronounced.

Follow-up Questions

Which scenes showcase Ransom's most significant impacts on the plot?
How can his character be further integrated into critical turning points in the script?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 8

Ransom embodies the archetypal antagonist against the wealthy family's values, creating discord and intrigue. He challenges the old guard, represented by Harlan Thrombey, seeking to regain control of his narrative through deceit and manipulation. This dynamic serves to highlight the generational conflict within the Thrombey family and exposes the deeper thematic exploration of moral decay versus integrity.

Symbolic Role: Represents the disillusioned youth of privilege, seeking validation amidst family dysfunction.

Suggestions

Further develop the antagonistic relationship between Ransom and Harlan to emphasize generational conflict.
Consider how Ransom's motivations can be linked to broader themes present in the screenplay.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways does Ransom's character serve as a foil to other family members?
How does his role as antagonist enhance the thematic depth of the screenplay?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

His attempt to manipulate family dynamics for personal gain reinforces themes of greed and moral corruption inherent in wealth. Ransom's interactions with Marta reveal underlying societal tensions, particularly around privilege and class, acting as a vehicle to explore these themes directly. The culmination of Ransom’s actions serves to challenge the perceived stability of his family’s fortune, emphasizing the fragility of power and wealth.

Suggestions

Emphasize Ransom's commentary on wealth and privilege in interactions with family members.
Show contrast between Ransom’s values and those of Marta and Harlan to strengthen thematic resonance.

Follow-up Questions

What specific themes do Ransom's actions and motivations reinforce throughout the screenplay?
How can connections between Ransom and the wider themes be more explicitly drawn in key scenes?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Ransom's interactions often elicit strong emotions, including anxiety and indignation, as viewers witness his attempts to undermine others for personal gain. His charm and arrogance create a duality that makes the audience both intrigued and repelled. These emotional responses enhance engagement and investment in the plot's unfolding drama, as viewers grapple with their reactions to Ransom's machinations.

Emotional Impact: Ransom evokes tension and frustration in the audience, coupled with a fascination for his manipulative charm.

Suggestions

Deepen Ransom's emotional conflicts to engage the audience more effectively.
Consider how his dialogue can be fine-tuned to elicit stronger emotional reactions.

Follow-up Questions

At what points do Ransom's actions create the strongest emotional responses in the audience?
How can Ransom's motivations be shown to resonate with the audience on a deeper level?

Personality Types

MBTI: entp

Ransom's quick wit, strategic thinking, and comfort in manipulating social dynamics align with the ENTP personality type.

Confidence: 70%

Possible Alternative Type: estp (30%)

Suggestions

Utilize Ransom's ENTP traits to enhance his charm and strategic wit in dialogue.
Consider moments reflecting his adaptability in the face of changing circumstances.

Follow-up Questions

How do Ransom's ENTP characteristics manifest in his interactions with family?
What instances illustrate his adaptability and resourcefulness?

Enneagram: 3

Ransom embodies the traits of an Enneagram type 3, characterized by a need for success, validation, and fear of failure.

Confidence: 80%

Suggestions

Emphasize Ransom's fear of failure and how it drives his actions and decisions.
Explore his desire for validation further in interactions that showcase vulnerability.

Follow-up Questions

How does Ransom's Enneagram type influence his relationships within the family?
In what ways does his pursuit of success manifest in his strategies?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (28)

Ransom's reaction to the will reading, showcasing his arrogant confidence and eventual vulnerability when everything spirals.

Why: This moment encapsulates his peak arrogance followed by a stunning realization of loss, demonstrating a range of emotions effectively.

Weakest Scene (33)

Ransom's encounter with Fran, portraying his demand for control over the situation.

Why: The scene lacks depth in emotional resonance, showcasing him as merely antagonistic without exploring his inner conflict.

Suggestions:

Enhance this scene with more subtext revealing Ransom's emotional stakes.
Consider showing hints of internal conflict in Ransom's demeanor.

Linda - Score: 67/100

Role

Antagonist

Personality

MBTI: ENTJ
Enneagram: 3 - The Achiever

Scenes

Strongest: #4
Weakest: #1

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 7/10

Eldest daughter seeking approval.

Complexity And Depth 6/10

Tension with siblings due to perceived favoritism.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 5/10

Maintains her ambition and arrogance despite family chaos.

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Sharp, demanding speech often tinged with entitlement.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Motivated by family status and fear of losing power.

Relationship Dynamics 6/10

Conflictual relationships largely fueled by rivalry and competition.

Scene Impact 7/10

Introduction of conflict and drama through her presence.

Role Fulfillment 8/10

Serves as a foil to Marta and as a representation of familial greed.

Thematic Plot Integration 7/10

Embodies themes of privilege, family loyalty, and moral ambiguity.

Emotional Resonance 6/10

Conflicted emotions stirred through ambition and familial ties.

Foundational Definition

Score: 7

Linda is the eldest daughter of Harlan Thrombey, driven by a desire for recognition and respect within her family and business. As a successful realtor, she embodies traits of determination and ambition. However, her relationship with her father is complex, filled with unresolved tensions and a sense of inferiority against her siblings' wealth.

Values And Beliefs: Family loyalty, success, independence

Strengths And Skills: Strong-willed, persuasive speaker, skilled in business negotiations

Suggestions

Emphasize her ambition through more scenes showing her work life.
Show her softer side in moments with her family.

Follow-up Questions

What past incidents may have caused her to feel inferior to her siblings?
How does her need for approval from her father drive her actions?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 6

Linda harbors emotional wounds related to her father's favoritism towards her siblings, particularly towards Walt and Ransom, which informs her harsh criticisms of them. Her flaws include arrogance and defensiveness, often driving her to clash with family members and act with entitlement.

Character Wound: Feeling of being overlooked in favor of her siblings

Character Flaws: Arrogance, defensiveness, underestimation of others

Suggestions

Include flashbacks showing her childhood compared to her siblings.
Create scenes where she reveals vulnerability after family conflicts.

Follow-up Questions

How does Linda's background as Harlan's daughter shape her competitive nature?
What interactions with Ransom could illustrate her defensiveness?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 5

Linda's journey reflects a static arc where her motivations and conflicts largely remain unresolved. Her ambition drives her to protect her father's legacy, but she lacks introspection and change despite evidence of her family's true nature.

Polarity Changes: Linda struggles throughout the family conflict but shows no significant growth by the end.

Transformation Triggers: The chaotic family gathering and revelations about Harlan's will.

Suggestions

Present a turning point where she recognizes her self-serving behavior.
Explore her reactions to the family's fallout to hint at growth.

Follow-up Questions

Could any moment during the investigation spark doubt about her ambitions?
What might change if confronted with the consequences of her actions?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 7

Linda's dialogue reflects her assertive personality. She often commands conversations, emphasizing her status as a successful realtor. Her language can turn judgmental, making her seem harsh, especially towards her family members.

Unique Voice: Direct and often condescending, reveals her controlling nature.

Suggestions

Add more nuanced interactions with Marta that reveal her underlying insecurities.
Include dialogue that shows moments of vulnerability outside the family dynamic.

Follow-up Questions

How could her dialogue evolve if she faced rejection or failure?
What moments could showcase her softer side through interaction?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Linda's behavior is often reactionary, propelled by fear and competition. She aggressively confronts others to maintain her position, with a tendency to belittle their perspectives. Her choices often lead to conflict, revealing her internal struggles.

Motivations: Cling to her father's legacy and protect her family's reputation.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires for familial respect and to assert her worth; needs to confront her insecurities.

Suggestions

Develop scenes wherein she shows vulnerability in high-stress scenarios.
Explore how the threat against her family changes her behavior.

Follow-up Questions

How do Linda's choices impact her relationships with her siblings?
What would happen if Linda made a choice that prioritized family unity over ambition?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 6

Linda's relationships with her family members are fraught with tension. She clashes with Walt and Richard, often playing the role of the family critic. Her interactions can be condescending, revealing a protective façade that shields her vulnerability.

Suggestions

Include more interactions with her children to explore maternal instincts.
Show moments where Linda reflects on her impact on family dynamics.

Follow-up Questions

Which relationships would benefit from exploration of deeper emotions?
How does her relationship with her father influence her actions towards her siblings?

Scene Impact

Score: 7

Linda's presence often escalates tensions, especially during heated discussions about Harlan's will. She can turn up the stakes considerably, serving as a catalyst for family arguments and revealing cracks in their unity.

Suggestions

Craft pivotal moments where her actions incite dramatic turns.
Establish quieter moments that reflect her internal struggles to balance the chaos.

Follow-up Questions

Which forthcoming family events could intensify her dramatic role?
What might her absence create in terms of family dynamics?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 8

Linda fulfills the role of the ambitious daughter, often clashing with Marta's more grounded values. She represents the moral dilemmas of privilege and the lengths to which one might go to protect status within a family.

Symbolic Role: Symbolizes the destructive nature of blind ambition and entitlement.

Suggestions

Introduce elements that show her motivations leading to conflict with moral implications.
Make her moments of moral failure visibly impactful.

Follow-up Questions

What traits from Linda can complicate her relationship with Marta?
How do her ambitions compare with Harlan's legacy in context?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 7

Linda's narrative arc ties closely to the screenplay's investigation of wealth and family loyalty. Her reactions to being potentially cut from the inheritance highlight the intersection of desperation and manipulation in familial relationships.

Suggestions

Strengthen themes by integrating moral dilemmas faced by Linda in pivotal moments.
Align her reactions closely with the family’s moral standing throughout.

Follow-up Questions

What moments could serve as turning points relating to her loyalties?
How does Linda's inner conflict about her desires versus her emblematic role motivate her actions?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 6

Linda's emotional complexity invites both frustration and empathy. Her determination is relatable, yet her ruthless behavior shown in family confrontations creates barriers to full sympathy.

Emotional Impact: Elicits frustration and empathy through her family interactions.

Suggestions

Explore moments that give deeper insight into her motivations to elicit sympathy.
Create scenes where her vulnerabilities shine through, allowing for audience connection.

Follow-up Questions

How might her inner thoughts contrast with her outward expressions?
What moments could reveal her struggles to balance ambition with empathy?

Personality Types

MBTI: entj

Linda exhibits leadership qualities, assertive communication, and a drive for efficiency and success, typical of the ENTJ personality.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: estj (60%)

Suggestions

Deepen her assertive characteristics by adding scenes of strategic decision-making.
Show her interacting with authority figures and how she navigates power dynamics.

Follow-up Questions

How does her personality type drive her decisions throughout the screenplay?
In what scenes could her leadership traits be further emphasized?

Enneagram: 3 - the achiever

Linda's drive for success, recognition, and her ambition to maintain her status aligns well with Enneagram Type 3 qualities.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: 2 - the helper (50%)

Suggestions

Illustrate her achievements more to clarify her motivations.
Explore her interactions with others to show compassion or empathy driven by her Type 2 tendencies.

Follow-up Questions

How does her Enneagram type influence her interactions with Marta?
What personal failures could challenge her self-image and trigger growth?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (4)

Linda stands strong during the family conversations around Harlan's death.

Why: Her assertiveness and emotional weight make her impactful, revealing her belief in family loyalty.

Weakest Scene (1)

Her interactions are often overshadowed by family dynamics and arguments.

Why: Her arrival creates an emotional pivot but lacks depth in exploration of her thoughts and feelings.

Suggestions:

Add inner dialogue to illustrate her emotional conflicts.
Include deeper reactions to family issues to enhance her presence.

Walt - Score: 70/100

Role

Antagonist

Personality

MBTI: ESTJ
Enneagram: Type 3 - The Achiever

Scenes

Strongest: #39
Weakest: #5

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 7/10

Walt's identity as the youngest son striving for validation.

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Walt's internal conflicts highlight feelings of inadequacy and desperation.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 5/10

Walt remains largely stagnant in his pursuit of validation throughout the story.

Dialogue And Voice 7/10

Walt's speech often reveals frustration and desperation, revealing his insecurities.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Walt's choices are heavily influenced by his need for validation and fear of losing power.

Relationship Dynamics 7/10

Walt's interactions with family members reveal a complex web of loyalty, betrayal, and competition.

Scene Impact 6/10

Walt serves as a catalyst for conflict, driving tension in key family scenes.

Role Fulfillment 7/10

Walt plays a complex role, balancing between antagonist and victim of circumstance.

Thematic Plot Integration 8/10

Walt's journey mirrors the central themes of ambition, betrayal, and family loyalty.

Emotional Resonance 7/10

Walt elicits mixed feelings, balancing frustration with empathy.

Foundational Definition

Score: 7

Walt Thrombey is Harlan's youngest son, who runs the family's publishing company. He embodies the struggle for recognition and validation in the shadow of his father's success. Walt's sense of inadequacy drives his desire to prove himself, resulting in desperation and morally questionable actions. His character demonstrates the conflict between family loyalty and personal ambition, illustrating how deeply ingrained familial relationships can dictate behavior.

Values And Beliefs: Validation through professional success, familial loyalty.

Strengths And Skills: Knowledge of the family business, persuasive communicator.

Suggestions

Explore Walt's past struggles and achievements to deepen his character.
Show instances of pride or anger when confronted with his family's failures.

Follow-up Questions

What pivotal moments from Walt's childhood influence his current behavior?
How does Walt's relationship with his father shape his ambitions?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 8

Walt's internal conflicts stem from feelings of inadequacy compared to his father's legacy and the family expectations placed upon him. His flaw is the intense pressure he puts on himself, manifesting as obsessive behavior toward maintaining the family business and the fear of losing it. This desperation to preserve his position leads him to commit unethical actions and manipulate others, suggesting a profound emotional wound rooted in familial expectations.

Character Wound: Fear of failure and not living up to family expectations.

Character Flaws: Manipulative, desperate, prone to anger.

Suggestions

Introduce backstory elements that elaborate on Walt's childhood experiences.
Show Walt's softer moments to create empathy despite his flaws.

Follow-up Questions

What was Walt's relationship like with his father as a child?
How does Walt cope with feelings of inadequacy in moments of crisis?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 5

Walt begins as a character obsessed with securing his place in the family business, driven by an overwhelming need for approval from his father. As the plot progresses, his desperation escalates, pushing him toward manipulative and antagonistic behavior. Yet, he never fully reconciles his internal struggle with familial loyalty or his ambition, leading to a continued cycle of discontent and moral ambiguity.

Polarity Changes: Declines into desperation and manipulation.

Transformation Triggers: Faced with the consequences of Harlan's death and the impending loss of family support.

Suggestions

Clarify Walt's motivations in key scenes to illustrate his inner turmoil.
Create turning points that force Walt to confront his values or choices more directly.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways do Walt's choices lead to his ultimate downfall?
What moments could serve as catalysts for potential change in Walt?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 7

Walt's dialogue often reflects his struggle for dominance within the family dynamic. He uses sharp, assertive language, attempting to exert influence over others while betraying signs of insecurity. Occasional slip-ups in his composure reveal his underlying fear of failure. His attempts to sound knowledgeable sometimes come off as defensive, highlighting his inner conflict.

Unique Voice: A mix of professionalism and underlying anger, displaying his need for power.

Suggestions

Incorporate more emotional undertones in Walt's dialogue to reflect inner struggle.
Show how Walt's dialogue changes during moments of vulnerability.

Follow-up Questions

How do Walt's speech patterns evolve across interactions with family members?
What specific phrases reveal his true feelings of inadequacy or fear?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

Walt consistently makes decisions driven by a need to prove his worth, showcasing manipulative behavior in response to his insecurities. His actions often reflect a tactical but ultimately destructive approach to maintaining his family's legacy. This culminates in a willingness to sacrifice integrity for perceived security - a path leading to conflict with other characters and ultimately to his downfall.

Motivations: Desire to maintain control over the family business and gain approval.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires power and recognition; needs emotional stability and approval.

Suggestions

Show the consequences of Walt's choices on his relationships with family.
Highlight moments that reveal his internal conflicts to deepen character understanding.

Follow-up Questions

How do Walt's decisions impact the overall family dynamic?
What critical moments reveal the gap between Walt's desires and his true needs?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 7

Walt's relationships are marked by competition, particularly with his siblings, and a desperate need for recognition. His strained interactions illustrate the tension in the Thrombey family and highlight his attempts to assert control over those he feels threatened by. The weight of familial expectations strains his interactions, contributing to a volatile dynamic characterized by manipulation and rivalry.

Suggestions

Deepen the portrayal of Walt's emotional connections to other family members to enrich their dynamics.
Explore contrasting relationships between Walt and different family members for tension.

Follow-up Questions

How do Walt's relationships shift as the story progresses?
Which family dynamics are most affected by Walt's insecurities and actions?

Scene Impact

Score: 6

Walt's presence and choices often amplify the stakes in family interactions, particularly during moments of tension. His actions create friction, serving as a foil to the more dynamic characters, while simultaneously revealing the depth of family dysfunction. Overall, Walt's outbursts and desperate measures serve to escalate conflicts, impacting the emotional tone of scenes he's in.

Suggestions

Highlight Walt's reactions more vividly during pivotal scenes.
Explore how other characters respond specifically to Walt's presence.

Follow-up Questions

Which scenes notably showcase Walt's impact on family dynamics?
How can Walt's influence be further leveraged for dramatic effect in scenes?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 7

Walt fulfills the antagonist role, driven by his desire for validation and control. However, he also reflects the tragic consequences of familial expectations, symbolizing the broader themes of ambition and the destructiveness of greed. His motivations serve to challenge the protagonist, embodying the family dynamic of privilege, entitlement, and moral failure.

Symbolic Role: The embodiment of greedy ambition within a fractured family unit.

Suggestions

Enhance Walt's character journey by introducing more depth to his motivations.
Explore opportunities to subvert traditional antagonist tropes for complexity.

Follow-up Questions

What moments reveal Walt's struggle against his role versus what he wants?
How can Walt's juxtaposed role between antagonist and victim be reinforced?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 8

Walt's characterization underscores the story's exploration of familial relationships and the perils of ambition. His desperate need for approval and acknowledgment from his father reflects the stakes at play in the Thrombey family, as well as the larger narrative themes of greed and betrayal. The entwined fates of Walt and Harlan illustrate how familial ties can become both a source of strength and a mechanism of downfall.

Suggestions

Draw more clear connections between Walt’s arc and the film's broader themes.
Provide additional context for Walt's actions that aligns with the main narrative threads.

Follow-up Questions

How does Walt's narrative drive the central themes of the story?
What are the specific thematic contrasts between Walt and other characters?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 7

Walt's character evokes mixed emotional responses, drawing both frustration and sympathy. His struggles highlight the consequences of familial pressure, making his vulnerable moments resonate strongly. As his actions unfold, audiences may feel conflicted over his choices, torn between recognizing his anguish and disapproving of his unethical behavior.

Emotional Impact: Elicits frustration and sympathy from the audience amidst his questionable choices.

Suggestions

Develop scenes that showcase Walt's vulnerabilities to enhance audience empathy.
Create moments that juxtapose his ambition with the emotional weight of his family relationships.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes effectively showcase the emotional complexity of Walt's character?
How can Walt's actions be further tied to audience emotional responses throughout the narrative?

Personality Types

MBTI: estj

His leadership in the family business and strong opinions align with traits typical of ESTJ personality types.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: entj (70%)

Suggestions

Use ESTJ traits to inform his reactions in high-pressure situations.
Highlight contrasts between Walt's logical decision-making and emotional conflicts.

Follow-up Questions

How do Walt's personality traits affect his relationships with others?
What events can be showcased to deepen the understanding of Walt’s MBTI type?

Enneagram: type 3 - the achiever

Walt embodies traits of an Enneagram Type 3, driven by a need for achievement, validation, and success.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: type 8 - the challenger (65%)

Suggestions

Develop scenes where Walt's 3 traits shine through his interactions.
Explore vulnerabilities connected to Walt's Enneagram type to add depth.

Follow-up Questions

Which situations make Walt's Type 3 motivations most clear?
How can contrasting traits from his second possible type be used for character development?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (39)

Walt's reaction to the news of Harlan's will.

Why: It clearly demonstrates Walt's desperation and the family dynamic, showcasing his conflicting emotions.

Weakest Scene (5)

Walt's explanation of his role in the family during the police questioning.

Why: It lacks depth and does not provide significant insight into his personality.

Suggestions:

Add dialogue that reveals more of Walt's internal struggles or relationships.
Include moments where Walt's motivations clash with family dynamics.

Richard - Score: 56/100

Personality

MBTI: ESTJ

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 6/10

Typical patriarch facing identity questions.

Complexity And Depth 5/10

Emotionally distant with underlying insecurities.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 4/10

A character stuck in his ways, resisting change.

Dialogue And Voice 6/10

Abrupt and forthright communicator.

Behavior And Choices 5/10

A defender of traditional values that often leads to conflict.

Relationship Dynamics 6/10

Strained relationships shaped by authority and control.

Scene Impact 6/10

Elevates tension through confrontational presence.

Role Fulfillment 7/10

Represents the conventional family authority figure.

Thematic Plot Integration 6/10

Embodies the tension of tradition vs. progress.

Emotional Resonance 5/10

Creates a mix of frustration and sympathy.

Foundational Definition

Score: 6

Richard is portrayed as a sharp and somewhat gruff character, likely representing a more traditional, patriarchal figure in the family. His role as Linda's husband introduces a layer of complexity as he tries to navigate family dynamics with a mix of authority and self-interest. His penchant for bluntness often comes off as abrasive, highlighting his struggle to connect with others emotionally.

Values And Beliefs: Family loyalty, traditional values, and personal ambition.

Strengths And Skills: Assertiveness in family discussions and a straightforward approach to problems.

Suggestions

Provide deeper insights into his backstory to explain his unyielding nature.
Introduce moments of vulnerability to humanize him and create empathy.

Follow-up Questions

What personal sacrifices has Richard made for the sake of the family?
How does Richard view traditional family roles, and how does this impact his relationship with Linda?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 5

Richard's character has a notable emotional distance, which is reflected in his interactions with Marta and the rest of the family. His demeanor and reactions may hint at underlying insecurities about his position within the family and his waning influence. He often deflects criticism with sarcasm, indicating a fear of vulnerability.

Character Wound: Fear of losing status and respect within the family.

Character Flaws: Arrogance, insensitivity, resistance to change.

Suggestions

Explore his past relationships to bring out hidden fears or insecurities.
Allow him to display moments of introspection, revealing his vulnerabilities.

Follow-up Questions

What are Richard's biggest fears regarding the family's future?
How do Richard's flaws drive conflict within family dynamics?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 4

Richard shows little desire for growth or change throughout the narrative, reinforcing his role as a traditionalist. His interactions highlight how deeply rooted his beliefs are, which often puts him at odds with more progressive family members.

Transformation Triggers: Richard's discussions regarding Harlan's will may trigger some reflection, but he largely remains unchanged.

Suggestions

Introduce a pivotal moment that challenges Richard's beliefs about family loyalty.
Develop a subplot that hints at his potential for growth or change.

Follow-up Questions

What events could shake Richard's beliefs or challenge his worldview?
Is there a point where Richard must confront a contradiction in his principles?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 6

Richard's speech patterns reflect his straightforward, often confrontational nature. He uses sarcasm and blunt remarks which serve to highlight his annoyance with the situation around him. His voice, while distinctive, can also alienate him from others, especially with family members who may be sensitive to his barbs.

Unique Voice: Richard's dialogue is characterized by bluntness and a defensive tone, showcasing his frustration with perceived disloyalty.

Suggestions

Incorporate moments of reflective dialogue that reveal deeper feelings.
Add layers to his dialogue, perhaps moments of subtext that hint at his emotional state.

Follow-up Questions

How does Richard's dialogue conflict with the more vulnerable expressions of others?
What verbal tics or expressions could enhance his unique voice?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 5

Richard's actions are often driven by a desire to assert his role in the family hierarchy. However, his rigid approach often leads to conflicts, particularly with Linda and his children. His behavior becomes a source of tension, especially when he struggles to adapt to the complex dynamics of the Thrombey family.

Motivations: To assert his authority and retain family control.

Desires Vs Needs: Richard desires respect and authority but needs to confront the reality of his changing family dynamics.

Suggestions

Add scenes where Richard fails to exert control, prompting self-reflection.
Incorporate scenarios that force Richard to confront his own relevance.

Follow-up Questions

What does Richard fear losing the most, and how does it inform his choices?
In what ways can Richard's choices reflect his relationships with other key characters?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 6

Richard's relationships are marked by tension and a struggle for control, especially with Linda, who increasingly challenges his authority. He seems more aligned with traditional values, causing friction with the younger generation, particularly Meg. His interactions underscore his struggle to maintain relevance within an evolving family unit.

Suggestions

Highlight a significant conflict or scene that maxes out the tension in his relationships.
Allow Richard to display moments of connection that reveal his love for his family.

Follow-up Questions

How does Richard perceive Linda's evolution as a character?
What pivotal moments in the screenplay serve to challenge or reaffirm Richard's relationships?

Scene Impact

Score: 6

Richard often drives conflict within scenes, particularly through his confrontations with other characters about family loyalty and authority. His abrasive nature tends to elevate the scenes' emotional stakes, making his character an anchor of tension during family discussions.

Suggestions

Increase moments where Richard's decisions have immediate consequences on the plot.
Develop key scenes that showcase his ability to escalate tensions dramatically.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes could benefit from Richard’s unique ability to incite conflict?
How can Richard's absence in certain scenes shift the atmosphere?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 7

Richard fulfills the role of the traditional father and husband, often resisting change within family dynamics. Simultaneously, he symbolizes the conflict between traditional roles and modern values as his family members challenge his authority. This dynamic shapes the narrative progression and underscores generational conflicts.

Symbolic Role: He embodies tradition and the patriarchal struggle within a modern family context.

Suggestions

Explore moments that could subvert his traditional authority, enhancing conflict.
Integrate his character into the thematic undertones of family versus individualism.

Follow-up Questions

What loose threads does Richard represent in the family dynamics?
How do Richard's beliefs align or misalign with the screenplay's larger themes?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 6

Richard's journey in the screenplay intertwines with the broader themes of familial loyalty, inheritance, and personal ambition. He represents a traditionalist viewpoint that clashes with the evolution of family dynamics, amplifying ongoing conflicts and highlighting the tension between generations.

Suggestions

Enhance his involvement in thematic discussions with other family members.
Contrive situations that challenge his beliefs against the changing dynamics.

Follow-up Questions

What situations best depict the tension Richard embodies between old and new?
How does Richard's perspective influence the narrative's ambitious themes?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 5

Richard's character often provokes a complex emotional response from the audience; they may feel anger at his insensitivity but also empathy for his struggle to maintain authority within a shifting familial landscape. This duality provides depth to interactions, particularly with his children and Linda.

Emotional Impact: Richard evokes frustration and sympathy for his conflict.

Suggestions

Deepen emotional connections by showcasing his vulnerabilities during intense family conflicts.
Include moments of reflection where Richard shows remorse for his actions or their implications.

Follow-up Questions

What aspects of Richard’s character could be leveraged to build tension in emotional scenes?
How might Richard's struggle for empathy affect his interactions with modern family members?

Personality Types

MBTI: estj

Richard's authoritative demeanor and preference for order align with the ESTJ archetype, characterized by a strong sense of duty and traditional values.

Confidence: 85%

Suggestions

Further clarify Richard’s motivations by exploring specific family dynamics.
Integrate discussion around family expectations versus personal aspirations in his portrayal.

Follow-up Questions

How do his ESTJ traits affect his interactions with more progressive family members?
What specific situations might push Richard to reconsider his rigid values in the face of change?

Benoit - Score: 78/100

Role

Protagonist

Personality

MBTI: INTJ
Enneagram: Type 5

Scenes

Strongest: #42

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 8/10

A legendary investigator with sharp insights.

Complexity And Depth 7/10

A layered character with emotional complexity.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 6/10

Blanc remains dedicated to justice throughout the plot.

Dialogue And Voice 9/10

Blanc's speech is laden with Southern charm and wit.

Behavior And Choices 8/10

Blanc is methodical and composed, yet displays emotional intelligence.

Relationship Dynamics 7/10

Blanc navigates complex relationships yet remains somewhat detached.

Scene Impact 8/10

Blanc elevates the stakes and guides emotional shifts in scenes.

Role Fulfillment 8/10

Blanc fulfills the archetypal role of a detective while stirring deeper themes.

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Central to the themes of truth, justice, and family dynamics.

Emotional Resonance 8/10

Creates strong emotional ties and engagement.

Foundational Definition

Score: 8

Benoit Blanc is a renowned private investigator known for his keen observational skills and astute deductive reasoning. His identity is deeply tied to his profession, which involves solving complex mysteries, often with a mix of charm and a Southern gentleman demeanor. He values truth and justice, using his intelligence and intuition to unravel the motives behind human behavior.

Values And Beliefs: Truth, justice, and the pursuit of understanding human nature.

Strengths And Skills: Exceptional deductive reasoning, keen observer of human behavior, charm and charisma.

Suggestions

Strengthen his background with a past case that shaped his detective style.
Develop more interactions that reveal his deeper values and beliefs.

Follow-up Questions

What past experiences have significantly influenced Blanc's approach to solving cases?
How does he perceive morality in the scope of his investigations?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 7

Blanc shows signs of emotional depth through his desire to understand people rather than simply catch criminals. There remains a hint of loneliness beneath his suave exterior, suggesting he may struggle with connection due to his profession. This adds layers to his character, as he is not just a detached observer but someone who cares about the consequences of his investigations.

Character Wound: Loneliness and detachment due to his profession.

Character Flaws: Occasionally pretentious or overly clever to the point of alienation.

Suggestions

Introduce moments revealing his vulnerability when connecting with others.
Explore internal conflicts regarding the moral implications of his work.

Follow-up Questions

What are the personal costs of Blanc's commitment to his work?
How does Blanc's emotional depth influence his interactions with suspects?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 6

Though he does not drastically change, Blanc’s determination intensifies as he becomes more invested in revealing the truth behind the murder. He navigates ethical dilemmas surrounding the characters’ motivations, which evokes questions about justice and mercy in his journey.

Polarity Changes: Blanc's confidence grows as he unravels the case, but he grapples with the moral complexities involved.

Transformation Triggers: Discovering the deeper motives and truths about the Thrombey family drives him forward.

Suggestions

Outline distinct moments that clarify his motivations throughout the story.
Highlight interactions that challenge his ethical beliefs.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways do the challenges he faces during the investigation affect his sense of self?
What teachings or lessons does Blanc apply from past cases to this one?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 9

His dialogue reflects his intelligence, often laced with clever turns of phrase and cultural references, showcasing his charm. However, his choice of words can also reveal his underlying expectations and frustrations as he tries to parse the truth from deception.

Unique Voice: A soft Southern drawl, often interspersed with metaphor and reflection.

Suggestions

Maintain the playful wit while incorporating references that ground his character in modern detective culture.
Discover avenues through which his dialogue can reflect his emotions more deeply.

Follow-up Questions

What aspects of his Southern background influence his speech patterns?
How does Blanc’s wit enhance the dramatic tension in key scenes?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 8

His behavior reflects a calm and collected nature, often using his knowledge of human psychology to inform his investigative actions. Blanc’s choices are rational, yet he allows room for intuition and emotional responses, making him a relatable protagonist.

Motivations: To uncover truth and bring justice while understanding motivations behind actions.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires to solve the case; needs to connect deeply with the human condition.

Suggestions

Showcase more impulsive behaviors when emotional highs are present, adding depth to his character.
Introduce decision-making moments that lean more heavily on personal ethics.

Follow-up Questions

What vital experiences in his past shape Blanc's choices in the present?
How do his interactions illustrate the balance between logic and emotion?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 7

His dynamic with other characters, especially Marta, reveals him as a mentor and guide. While he forms connections to help solve cases, there remains a feeling of isolation. His relationships reflect a tension between his professional needs and personal desires.

Suggestions

Create a stronger bond between Blanc and another key character to reflect teamwork.
Explore how relationships may evoke his vulnerabilities.

Follow-up Questions

How does Blanc's relationship with Marta evolve throughout the investigation?
What moments in his past influence how he trusts or distrusts people?

Scene Impact

Score: 8

His presence often creates tension and drives the narrative forward, especially in moments of revelation. He acts as both an instigator and a resolution point for conflict, blending humor and gravity.

Suggestions

Increase his involvement in critical plot twists to solidify his role.
Highlight his reactions in pivotal moments to show deeper engagement.

Follow-up Questions

What scenes can demonstrate Blanc's impact more prominently?
How does the character's presence influence the emotional tone of key confrontations?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 8

Within the framework of a murder mystery, he embodies the traditional sleuth archetype yet pushes beyond mere trope. He evokes questions of morality and the human experience, representing the journey toward truth amidst chaos.

Symbolic Role: The wise and skilled detective serving the pursuit of justice.

Suggestions

Clarify the contrast between his detective skills and the family’s chaotic moral compass.
Add layers that hint at the vulnerability within his detective role.

Follow-up Questions

What societal norms or expectations about detectives does Blanc challenge or uphold?
How effectively does his character subvert the standard detective archetype?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 9

Blanc's pursuit of justice and truth intertwines with themes of family loyalty and betrayal. His character serves as a catalyst to reflect the various motivations and ethics of the other characters, underscoring the film's exploration of morality.

Suggestions

Emphasize the thematic implications of his decisions for heightened impact.
Draw clearer connections between Blanc's journey and the film's broader messages.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways does Blanc explicitly highlight the consequences of betrayal among the family?
How does the film manipulate audience expectations regarding justice through Blanc's character?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 8

Blanc’s interactions elicit a range of responses, evoking intrigue and empathy. His emotional intelligence allows viewers to connect with the story's moral quandaries, enhancing audience engagement.

Emotional Impact: Engenders curiosity, tension, and relief throughout the narrative.

Suggestions

Maximize emotional stakes in his revelations for greater audience engagement.
Deepen moments of vulnerability to reinforce viewer connection.

Follow-up Questions

What emotional beats from Blanc resonate most with viewers?
How does his presence influence the emotional tempo of scenes?

Personality Types

MBTI: intj

Blanc's logical reasoning, strategic approach to investigations, and strong independent thinking align with the INTJ personality type.

Confidence: 85%

Possible Alternative Type: infp (50%)

Suggestions

Consider blending MBTI characteristics to add complexity.
Explore how he navigates social situations through this lens.

Follow-up Questions

What other characters in the screenplay share similar MBTI traits?
How does Blanc's personality influence his investigative style?

Enneagram: type 5

Blanc displays characteristics typical of a Type 5, including a desire for knowledge and a tendency to withdraw to process complex information.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: type 1 (60%)

Suggestions

Develop emotional connections that illustrate his Type 5 tendencies.
Challenge him with situations requiring vulnerability.

Follow-up Questions

In what ways do his decisions reflect typical Type 5 behavior?
How does his understanding of others contrast with a potential Type 1 perspective?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (42)

Blanc's deductive reasoning is front and center as he reveals the layers of deception surrounding the murder.

Why: This scene demonstrates his ability to untangle complex narratives while maintaining tension, showcasing his role as the leading detective.

Weakest Scene (0)

There isn't a weak scene for Blanc; he consistently contributes to the narrative's engagement.

Why: His character is well-integrated and impactful through the screenplay, though certain scenes may benefit from deeper exploration.

Suggestions:

Ensure scenes allow for deeper engagement with Blanc's emotional landscape.
Focus on crafting moments that develop relationships and reveal vulnerabilities.

Joni - Score: 55/100

Personality

MBTI: ESFP
Enneagram: 4 - The Individualist

Scenes

Strongest: #25
Weakest: #21

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 6/10

A self-centered bohemian trying to maintain family connections.

Complexity And Depth 5/10

Conflicted between independence and reliance on family.

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 4/10

Joni's purpose remains largely static, focused on financial gains and familial loyalty.

Dialogue And Voice 6/10

Joni's dialogue reflects her frustrations along with a sarcastic edge.

Behavior And Choices 5/10

Joni's choices are highly influenced by her desire to both retain her place in the family and gain independence.

Relationship Dynamics 6/10

The dynamics she shares with other characters reveal her insecurities and ambitions.

Scene Impact 5/10

Joni's presence adds tension in emotional scenes.

Role Fulfillment 7/10

Joni fulfills the role of a frustrated family member seeking stability.

Thematic Plot Integration 6/10

Joni's character intertwines with the storyline's themes of wealth, family, and loyalty.

Emotional Resonance 5/10

Evokes sympathy through her struggle and entitlement.

Foundational Definition

Score: 6

Joni Thrombey is portrayed as a heightened, bohemian woman who is both observant and somewhat self-centered. She has a business background, intertwined with her family’s financial struggles and the various dynamics of the Thrombey family. Her interactions suggest a veneer of sophistication mixed with underlying desperation regarding her finances and reliance on family wealth.

Values And Beliefs: Family loyalty, self-sufficiency, a need for financial security.

Strengths And Skills: Persuasion, business acumen, social awareness.

Suggestions

Explore her backstory further to establish deeper motivations.
Highlight her inner conflicts regarding family dynamics and self-identity.

Follow-up Questions

What specific actions is Joni willing to take to ensure her financial stability?
How does Joni’s perspective on family loyalty influence her decisions?

Complexity And Depth

Score: 5

Joni exhibits a kind of emotional fragility under her strong exterior. She grapples with the fact that her family's fortune is now at stake and her portrayal hints at an unfulfilled ambition, both personally and professionally. Her dependence on Harlan for financial assistance creates a conflict that may limit her willingness to confront unethical family choices.

Character Wound: Financial instability and emotional dependency on family.

Character Flaws: Entitlement, potential manipulation, and self-serving behavior.

Suggestions

Show moments of vulnerability to create empathy.
Include interactions that depict her struggle between values and survival.

Follow-up Questions

What steps will Joni take to regain her financial independence?
How does her perception of her family's values affect her choices?

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis

Score: 4

Throughout the screenplay, Joni largely adheres to a consistent role as a worried family member focused on financial security. There’s little evidence of transformation or significant change driven by the events around her, leaving her character's journey rather static.

Polarity Changes: None, her journey remains consistent with her initial motivations.

Transformation Triggers: None; she does not experience significant growth.

Suggestions

Introduce a significant challenge that forces Joni to reevaluate her priorities.
Develop her interactions to reveal hidden desires and growth potential.

Follow-up Questions

What would it take for Joni to reconsider her position within the family?
Can her values evolve in response to the unfolding family crisis?

Dialogue And Voice

Score: 6

Her speech patterns indicate a complex mix of frustration over the family's situation and a desire to maintain her self-image as a sophisticated entrepreneur. There is a stark contrast in her tone during family conflicts and her interactions with friends, underscoring personal conflict within her character.

Unique Voice: Sarcasm, bohemian vernacular mixed with a subtle self-entitlement.

Suggestions

Use dialogue to reveal deeper internal conflicts and frustrations.
Introduce more emotional nuances in her speech during tense moments.

Follow-up Questions

How does her sarcasm serve as a defense mechanism?
What deeper intentions lie behind her choice of words in critical moments?

Behavior And Choices

Score: 5

Her motivations often lead her to make choices that reflect both her need for security and her sense of entitlement. This duality often puts her at odds with the rest of the family, complicating her individual narrative.

Motivations: Financial security and family loyalty.

Desires Vs Needs: Desires wealth and status while needing genuine family connections.

Suggestions

Show her making a choice that contradicts her family’s destructive patterns.
Develop moments where her actions have far-reaching consequences.

Follow-up Questions

What might happen if Joni had to prioritize family over financial gain?
How does she justify her choices to herself in light of consequences?

Relationship Dynamics

Score: 6

Joni's relationships with her family members indicate tension and competition for financial security. Her interactions often highlight a mix of annoyance and attachment as she must navigate her desires for betterment against familial obligations.

Suggestions

Explore her relationship with Meg to reveal more about family loyalty.
Show how her interactions evolve with each family member during the unraveling conflict.

Follow-up Questions

How do Joni's relationships evolve in light of Harlan's death?
Can bonding moments shift her dynamics with family members?

Scene Impact

Score: 5

Joni's reactions and interactions introduce conflict within family dialogues. Her emotional stakes bring gravity to scenes, reflecting her anxieties through her contributions during family controversies.

Suggestions

Enhance her involvement in pivotal scenes to drive conflict.
Incorporate physical actions that amplify her emotional responses.

Follow-up Questions

What moments can Joni influence to shift the emotional tone of the scene?
How does she challenge or solidify family dynamics in crisis moments?

Role Fulfillment

Score: 7

Her representation of a distressed daughter at odds with her family's values showcases the broader themes of wealth disparity and familial loyalty. While she does not drive the primary narrative, her actions contribute significantly to character interactions.

Symbolic Role: Represents the self-centered pursuit of wealth.

Suggestions

Clarify her importance in the family hierarchy to influence narrative arcs.
Use her symbolic representation to challenge core family values.

Follow-up Questions

How does Joni's character serve the themes surrounding inherited wealth?
In what ways can her role evolve to change family dynamics?

Thematic Plot Integration

Score: 6

Her struggles with family finances tie her personal journey to larger thematic elements around greed and familial obligation. Her constant navigation through these themes makes her a poignant part of the Thrombey family dynamic.

Suggestions

Deepen her ideological conflicts to better merge with central themes.
Create pivotal moments that associate her directly with the broader plot.

Follow-up Questions

What decisions can Joni make that highlight the theme of financial desperation?
How can her actions either reinforce or challenge themes of loyalty?

Emotional Resonance

Score: 5

Joni's conflict and vulnerability allow audiences to connect with her character, even while she might not be likable. The emotional stakes tied to her actions echo throughout the family drama, engaging viewers with both her ambitions and frustrations.

Emotional Impact: Her struggles create sympathy, resonating tension throughout the audience.

Suggestions

Highlight moments of vulnerability and connection to make her more relatable.
Integrate moments of moral conflict to tap into audience empathy.

Follow-up Questions

In what moments can Joni show her vulnerabilities for deeper emotional impact?
How can her character evoke sympathy while navigating complex family dynamics?

Personality Types

MBTI: esfp

Joni's expressive nature, relationships, and sensitivity to her immediate environment align with the ESFP type. Her desire for attention and tendency to act on impulse suggest a preference for sensing and feeling.

Confidence: 80%

Possible Alternative Type: enfp (70%)

Suggestions

Emphasize her spontaneity through interactions with others.
Create scenarios that expose her emotional awareness.

Follow-up Questions

How could an ESFP perspective affect Joni's reactions to family crises?
In which scenes could her extraverted intuition play a key role?

Enneagram: 4 - the individualist

Joni's emotional depth and longing for authenticity while dealing with family issues suggest an Enneagram Type 4. Her sense of self is profoundly tied to her family connections and financial status.

Confidence: 75%

Possible Alternative Type: 3 - the achiever (65%)

Suggestions

Add layers to her desire for recognition to enhance conflict.
Show interactions that illustrate her emotional struggles.

Follow-up Questions

How can Joni's individuality play a role in her relationships with her family?
What internal conflicts can arise from her Enneagram type?

Key Scenes

Strongest Scene (25)

Joni's reactions at the will reading reveal layers of tension regarding family finances.

Why: This scene emphasizes her defensive nature and vulnerability, providing insight into her motivations.

Weakest Scene (21)

The scene where Joni is part of the interrogation highlights her motivations but lacks depth in emotional engagement.

Why: Her character feels two-dimensional in this scene, conveying motivations without further exploration.

Suggestions:

Enhance her dialogue to reveal deeper emotional stakes.
Allow her conflicts about loyalty or ambition to surface in her conversation.

Theme

Theme Details

Theme Explanation

Family Dynamics (45%)

The film explores the complex relationships within the Thrombey family, marked by rivalry, jealousy, and secrets, unraveling the tensions and conflicts that drive the characters' actions.

Family Dynamics serves as a foundational theme, shaping the motivations and interactions of the characters as they grapple with the aftermath of Harlan's death.

Strengthening Family Dynamics:

Suggestion Type	How to Strengthen the Theme
Dialogue - Scene 38	Enhance the family's reactions to Marta's confession by adding specific lines and emotions that convey their shock, confusion, and accusations. This will amplify the emotional impact of the reveal.
Action - Scene 15	Incorporate a moment where Marta hesitates or faces a dilemma while hiding Harlan's disguise. This will create tension and highlight the internal conflict she experiences while carrying out her plan.
Visual - Scene 29	Use lighting and camera angles to create a visually striking moment when Ransom comforts Marta. This will emphasize the emotional connection between them and foreshadow the significance of their alliance.
Character Arc	Expand Meg's role by exploring her emotional journey. Include scenes that showcase her conflict between loyalty to her family and her growing suspicions about Marta.
Story Arc	Introduce an earlier conflict between Harlan and the family to establish the underlying tensions that contribute to the events of the story. This will add depth to the characters and provide a stronger foundation for the subsequent drama.

Immigration and Identity (30%)

The film delves into the struggles and challenges faced by Marta, an undocumented immigrant, as she navigates the complex social dynamics of the Thrombey family while trying to protect her own identity.

Immigration and Identity play a significant role in shaping Marta's character and her experiences, highlighting the intersection of societal prejudices and personal aspirations.

Truth and Deception (20%)

The narrative hinges on the manipulation of truth and the blurring of reality, as characters deceive each other, conceal their motives, and construct elaborate falsehoods to protect their interests.

Truth and Deception serve as driving forces, propelling the plot forward and challenging the audience's perception of events and the characters' true intentions.

Wealth and Privilege (15%)

The film examines the corrupting influence of wealth and privilege, highlighting the moral dilemmas it creates and the ways in which it can distort relationships and cloud judgment.

Wealth and Privilege are explored as both a catalyst for the characters' desires and a source of their downfalls, exposing the darker underbelly of the Thrombey family's lavish lifestyle.

Screenwriting Resources on Themes

Articles

Site	Description
Studio Binder	Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters
Coverfly	Improving your Screenplay's theme
John August	Writing from Theme

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics	Screenwriting basics - beginner video
What is theme	Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay.
Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script	Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts

Robert McKee: "The audience doesn’t go to the movies to see plot; they go to feel emotion, to be moved."

Scene by Scene Emotions

Goals and Philosophical Conflict
internal Goals	The protagonist's internal goal is to navigate the complex family dynamics and navigate the truth behind Harlan's death
External Goals	The protagonist's external goal is to maintain composure and protect herself from suspicion while dealing with the investigation
Philosophical Conflict	The overarching philosophical conflict revolves around the themes of truth, loyalty, and justice as the protagonist grapples with deception, family loyalty, and personal integrity

Character Development Contribution: The goals and conflict contribute to the character's development by challenging their beliefs, values, and moral compass, leading to growth and self-discovery

Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflict drive the narrative structure by creating tension, suspense, and intrigue as the protagonist navigates the complex web of family secrets and deception

Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflict contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring themes of loyalty, truth, morality, and justice, adding layers of complexity and depth to the story

Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Articles

Site	Description
Creative Screenwriting	How Important Is A Character’s Goal?
Studio Binder	What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict

YouTube Videos

Title	Description
How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict	How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode.
Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great	By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes
Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals	By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy?

What's going on here? - Scenes are rated on many critreia. The goal isn't to try to maximize every number; \ It's to make you aware of what's happening in your scenes. You might have very good reasons to have character development but not advance the story, or have a scene without conflict. Obviously if your dialogue is really bad, you should probably look into that.

Abbreviate Headers

Story Content

Character Development

Scene Elements

Audience Engagement

Technical Aspects

			Story Content			Character Development				Scene Elements					Audience Engagement				Technical Aspects
Click for Full Analysis	Tone	Overall	Concept	Plot	Originality	Characters	Character Changes	Internal Goal	External Goal	Conflict	Opposition	High stakes	Story forward	Twist	Emotional Impact	Dialogue	Engagement	Pacing	Formatting	Structure
1 - The Discovery	Suspenseful, Emotional, Dark	8	8	8	9	7	7	8	7	8	8	8	8	8	9	7	9	8	9	9
2 - The Aftermath	Dry, Sarcastic, Emotional, Humorous	8	8	7	9	9	6	8	7	7	7	6	7	7	8	8	9	8	8	8
3 - Family Gathering at the Thrombey Home	Serious, Reflective, Informative	8	8	7	9	9	6	8	7	7	7	7	8	7	6	8	9	8	8	8
4 - Family Gathering at Harlan's Birthday	Sarcastic, Satirical, Informative	8	8	7	9	9	6	8	7	7	7	7	8	8	6	8	9	8	8	8
5 - The Arrival of Benoit Blanc	Suspenseful, Sarcastic, Inquisitive, Informative	8	8	7	8	8	6	8	7	8	8	7	8	8	6	9	9	9	9	9
6 - Walt's Dismissal	Tense, Confrontational, Revealing	8	8	7	9	9	8	8	7	8	8	7	8	8	7	8	9	8	8	8
7 - Secrets and Confrontations	Tense, Dramatic, Confrontational	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	9	8	8	8	8	7	8	9	8	8	8
8 - Confrontation in the Library	Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic	8	8	7	8	8	7	8	7	8	8	8	8	8	7	7	9	8	8	8
9 - Curiosity and Hesitation	Intriguing, Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional	8	8	8	8	7	7	8	7	8	7	8	8	7	7	7	9	8	8	8
10 - Marta's Confession and Joni's Involvement	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic	8	8	8	9	7	7	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	7	8	9	8	8	8
11 - The Interrogation	Suspenseful, Intriguing, Intense, Dramatic	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7.5	8	8	8	9	9	6	7	9	8.5	8	8
12 - The Mysterious Night	Suspenseful, Intriguing, Tense	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	8	7	8	8	8	6	7	9	8	8	8
13 - Upstairs to the Office	Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional	8	8	8	7	7	7	8	7	8	8	8	8	7	7	7	9	9	8	8
14 - A Game of GO	Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense	9	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	9	9	9	9	9	8	9	8	8	8
15 - Marta's Alibi	Suspenseful, Intriguing, Tense, Mysterious	8	9	8	9	7	6	8	7	8	8	9	8	8	7	7	9	8	8	8
16 - Marta's Nocturnal Encounter	Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional	9	9	9	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	9	8	8
17 - Tense Interrogations and Smoke-Filled Moments	Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense	8	8	8	9	7	7	8	7	9	8	8	9	7	8	9	9	8	8	8
18 - Offering Help and Suspicious Inquiries	Intriguing, Suspenseful, Intense	8	8	8	9	7	6	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	7	8	9	8	8	8
19 - The Secret	Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Intriguing	9	9	9	8	8	8	9	8	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	9	8	9
20 - Footprints in the Woods	Suspenseful, Intriguing, Mysterious, Tense	8	8	7	8	7	5	8	7	8	7	7	8	7	6	6	9	8	8	8
21 - The Study Interrupted	Suspenseful, Intriguing, Tense	8	8	8	9	7	7	8	7	8	8	9	9	8	6	9	9	8	8	8
22 - Explosive Family Gathering	Tense, Sarcastic, Confrontational	8	8	7	9	9	6	8	7	9	8	7	8	8	7	8	9	8	8	8
23 - Heated Family Argument	Tense, Confrontational, Dramatic, Sarcastic	8	7	8	9	8	8	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	7	9	9	8	8	8
24 - Hidden Window Discovery	Tense, Suspenseful, Intriguing	8	8	7	8	7	6	9	8	8	8	8	8	8	6	9	9	9	9	9
25 - Reading of Harlan Thrombey's Will	Tense, Confrontational, Emotional	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	8
26 - Escape and Revelations	Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional	8	8	9	9	8	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	9	7	9	8	8	8
27 - Ransom Confronts Marta	Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful	9	8	9	8	9	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	7	9	8	9	8	8	8
28 - Family Discord over Will Revisions	Tense, Emotional, Confrontational	8	8	8	9	7	7	8	7.5	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	9	8.5	8	8
29 - Ransom's Confession and Marta's Determination	Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Intense	8	8	8	9	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	8
30 - Marta's Morning Mayhem	Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional	8	8	8	9	7	7	8	7	9	8	8	9	8	8	7	9	8	8	8
31 - Inheritance Concerns and Mysterious Threats	Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Serious	8	8	8	9	8	7	8	7	8	8	8	8	8	9	9	9	8	8	8
32 - Consolation and Confusion	Tense, Suspenseful, Introspective, Conversational	9	8	9	9	9	8	9	8	9	7	8	9	7	8	8	9	8	8	8
33 - Explosion at the Medical Examiner's Office	Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	8	9	9	9	9
34 - Marta's Evasive Maneuvers	Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Anxious	8	8	9	8	7	5	8	7	9	8	9	8	8	6	6	9	9	9	9
35 - Marta's Secret Visit	Tense, Suspenseful, Intriguing, Mysterious	9	8	9	9	8	7	8	7.5	9	8	9	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	8
36 - Confrontation and Discovery	Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Mysterious	9	9	8	9	8	8	8	7	9	8	9	9	8	9	7	9	8	8	8
37 - Marta's Confession and Confrontation	Tense, Resigned, Emotional, Sarcastic	8	8	8	9	8	8	8	7	9	7	9	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	8
38 - Unveiling the Truth	Tense, Emotional, Confrontational, Revealing	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	9	8	9	8	9	9	9	9
39 - Confrontation in the Library	Intriguing, Suspenseful, Intense, Revealing	9	9	9	9	9	8	8	7	8	7	9	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	8
40 - Ransom's Revenge	Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Confrontational	9	8	9	9	9	8	8	9	9	8	9	9	9	9	8	9	8	8	8
41 - Revealing the Truth	Suspenseful, Intense, Revealing, Confrontational	9	9	9	9	8	7	9	8	9	8	9	9	8	8	9	9	8	8	8
42 - Unraveling Ransom's Guilt	Suspenseful, Intense, Intriguing, Dramatic	9	9	9	9	8	7	9	8	9	8	9	9	8	8	9	9	9	9	9
43 - Ransom's Failed Attempt to Frame Marta	Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Revealing	9	9	9	9	8	8	9	8	9	8	9	9	8	9	9	9	9	9	9
44 - The Confrontation	Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Tense, Shocking	9	9	9	9	8	8	9	8	9	9	9	9	9	9	8	10	9	9	9
45 - The Aftermath: Marta's Dilemma	Tense, Emotional, Reflective	9	9	8	9	9	8	8	7	8	7	8	8	8	9	8	9	8	8	8

Summary of Scene Level Analysis

Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.

Scene Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Engaging plot
Revealing character dynamics
Tension-building
Intriguing plot twists

Scene Weaknesses

Limited emotional impact
Some elements may be confusing for viewers
Lack of significant character development
Some dialogue may be overly expository
Slightly predictable outcome

Suggestions

Focus on deeper emotional impact in key scenes
Ensure clarity in plot and character interactions
Develop secondary characters for more well-rounded story
Find ways to integrate exposition more seamlessly into dialogue
Consider adding more unexpected plot twists to keep audience engaged

World Building

Physical environment: The physical environment in the screenplay consists of various locations, including a New England manor house with gothic and mysterious surroundings, a modern living room, a library, a hospital waiting room, and a police station. Each location creates a distinct atmosphere and contributes to the narrative's progression.
Culture: The cultural elements depicted in the screenplay include a wealthy family with complex dynamics, societal events like parties, and exploration of themes such as inheritance, betrayal, and deceit. These cultural aspects provide insights into the characters' motivations and conflicts.
Society: The societal structure in the screenplay reflects hierarchical power dynamics within the wealthy Thrombey family. The family's privileged lifestyle and interactions with law enforcement officers highlight their status and influence in society.
Technology: The technological aspects in the screenplay are minimal, with the presence of modern elements like laptops, iPads, and cell phones. These elements support communication and investigation but do not play a significant role in shaping the overall narrative.
Characters influence: The world elements, including the physical environment, cultural norms, societal structures, and technological devices, influence the characters' experiences and actions. For instance, the isolated atmosphere of the manor house creates a sense of mystery and tension, contributing to the characters' psychological states and decision-making. The societal hierarchy shapes the family members' interactions and conflicts, while the presence of law enforcement adds an element of authority and investigation. The cultural emphasis on inheritance and family secrets influences the characters' motives and actions.
Narrative contribution: The world elements contribute to the narrative by providing a backdrop for the events to unfold. The gothic manor house sets the stage for a murder mystery, and the family's wealth and status make them both suspects and potential targets. The societal expectations and family dynamics introduce conflict and tension, driving the narrative forward. The technological aspects, though minimal, support communication and information exchange, aiding in the investigation and revelation of secrets.
Thematic depth contribution: The world elements contribute to the thematic depth of the screenplay by exploring issues such as wealth and privilege, family relationships, and the complexities of truth and deception. The opulent surroundings and lavish lifestyle of the Thrombey family highlight the themes of wealth and privilege, questioning their impact on morality and relationships. The intricate family dynamics reveal the complexities of human connections, including love, betrayal, and secrets. The exploration of truth and deception through the murder mystery and the characters' conflicting narratives adds depth to the screenplay's thematic layers.

Voice Analysis
Summary:	The writer's voice is characterized by sharp dialogue, dark humor, and intricate plot twists. It adds depth and complexity to the story, enhancing the mood and themes of the screenplay.
Voice Contribution	The writer's voice contributes to the script by creating a sense of mystery and suspense, keeping the audience engaged and guessing until the very end.
Best Representation Scene	7 - Secrets and Confrontations
Best Scene Explanation	This scene effectively encapsulates the writer's unique voice through its blend of sharp dialogue, underlying tensions, and complex character dynamics.

Style and Similarities

The overall writing style of the screenplay is characterized by dark and suspenseful narratives, intricate plots, and complex character dynamics. The dialogue is often sharp and witty, driving the plot forward and revealing the characters' motivations and conflicts. The scenes analyzed suggest that the screenplay draws inspiration from various writing styles, including those of Agatha Christie, Gillian Flynn, Rian Johnson, and Noah Baumbach.

Style Similarities:

Writer	Explanation
Gillian Flynn	Gillian Flynn is the most consistently referenced writer across multiple scene analyses, with comparisons drawn to her dark psychological themes, complex characters, and unexpected plot twists. Her influence is particularly evident in scenes that explore family secrets, moral ambiguity, and psychological depth.
Christopher Nolan	Christopher Nolan is another commonly referenced writer, particularly in scenes that involve intricate plotting, moral ambiguity, and nonlinear storytelling. His influence is seen in scenes that build tension and suspense through cryptic clues and complex character relationships.
Aaron Sorkin	Aaron Sorkin's influence is notable in scenes that showcase sharp dialogue, intense character interactions, and moral dilemmas. His writing style adds a layer of wit and intellectual depth to the screenplay.
Rian Johnson	Rian Johnson's style is evident in scenes that combine mystery, humor, and character-driven narratives. His influence is particularly seen in scenes that feature unexpected plot twists and complex character dynamics.

Other Similarities: The screenplay also incorporates elements of other writing styles, such as the suspenseful atmosphere and intense emotional stakes of Quentin Tarantino, the character-driven and morally ambiguous storytelling of Noah Baumbach, and the intricate plotting and psychological depth of David Fincher. This diverse range of influences contributes to the screenplay's rich and engaging storytelling.

Writer's Craft Overall Analysis

Overall, the screenplay exhibits a strong command of scene writing, with effective use of tension, character development, and plot progression. The writer's unique voice and style shine throughout, creating engaging and compelling narratives. However, there is room for improvement in certain areas, such as pacing, structure, and dialogue.

Key Improvement Areas

Pacing and Structure

Several scenes could benefit from tighter pacing and more efficient use of dialogue, allowing the story to move forward more smoothly and maintain audience engagement.

Character Development

While the characters are generally well-defined, some scenes lack the depth and nuance necessary to fully captivate the audience and drive emotional investment.

Dialogue

The dialogue is often strong and engaging but could be further polished to enhance its natural flow, sharpness, and subtextual impact.

Suggestions

Type	Suggestion	Rationale
Screenplay	Study screenplays by renowned screenwriters such as Aaron Sorkin, Quentin Tarantino, and Gillian Flynn to observe their techniques in crafting compelling dialogue, developing complex characters, and structuring effective narratives.	These screenwriters are known for their mastery of the craft, and their work can provide valuable insights for improving dialogue, character development, and storytelling.
Book	Read books on screenwriting fundamentals such as 'Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting' by Syd Field or 'Save the Cat!' by Blake Snyder.	These books offer a comprehensive understanding of screenplay structure, character development, and storytelling techniques, providing a solid foundation for refining craft.
Exercise	Practice writing dialogue-heavy scenes with conflicting motivations and emotional stakes. Focus on creating natural-sounding dialogue that reveals character depth, drives the plot, and heightens tension.Practice In SceneProv	Regularly practicing dialogue writing can significantly enhance the writer's ability to craft engaging and impactful conversations that drive the narrative forward.
Video	Watch videos of interviews or behind-the-scenes footage with experienced screenwriters and directors to gain insights into their creative processes and storytelling techniques.	Learning from the experiences and approaches of industry professionals can provide valuable guidance and inspiration for improving one's own writing craft.
Course	Consider enrolling in a screenwriting course or workshop focused on character development and dialogue. Structured learning environments offer feedback, guidance, and opportunities to practice and refine skills.	Dedicated study through courses or workshops can provide focused training and support in areas where the writer seeks improvement, accelerating their growth as a screenwriter.

Additional Notes: The writer's unique voice and ability to craft engaging narratives are evident throughout the screenplay. With continued development in the identified areas, the writer can further refine their storytelling techniques and create even more impactful and memorable screenplays.

Here are different Tropes found in the screenplay

Trope	Trope Details	Trope Explanation
Murder Mystery	The discovery of a murdered body leads to an investigation to uncover the truth behind the crime.	The murder mystery trope is a common theme in movies and TV shows where a character's death sets off a chain of events that lead to the revelation of the killer. An example of this trope is the movie 'Knives Out,' where the murder of Harlan Thrombey leads to a complex investigation to uncover the truth behind his death.
Family Drama	The interactions and conflicts within a family are central to the plot.	The family drama trope focuses on the dynamics and relationships within a family, often leading to tension, conflict, and emotional moments. An example of this trope is the TV show 'Succession,' which revolves around the power struggles and betrayals within a wealthy family.
Whodunit	The story revolves around solving a mystery to uncover the identity of the culprit.	The whodunit trope is characterized by a central mystery that drives the plot, with characters working to uncover the identity of the perpetrator. An example of this trope is the movie 'Clue,' where a group of characters must solve a murder mystery to reveal the killer.
Inheritance Dispute	The distribution of a deceased character's wealth leads to conflicts and tensions among family members.	The inheritance dispute trope involves characters vying for control over a deceased character's assets, leading to power struggles, betrayals, and revelations. An example of this trope is the TV show 'Succession,' where the Roy family battles for control over their father's media empire.
Blackmail	One character uses incriminating information to manipulate or control another character.	The blackmail trope involves a character leveraging sensitive information to coerce another character into taking a specific action. An example of this trope is the movie 'Body Heat,' where one character blackmails another to carry out a murder.
Frame-Up	A character is falsely accused of a crime they did not commit.	The frame-up trope involves one character setting up another to take the fall for a crime they did not commit, leading to a wrongful accusation and subsequent investigation. An example of this trope is the movie 'The Fugitive,' where Dr. Richard Kimble is framed for his wife's murder.
Suicide	A character takes their own life, leading to emotional repercussions for those left behind.	The suicide trope involves a character ending their own life, often leaving loved ones grappling with grief, guilt, and unanswered questions. An example of this trope is the TV show '13 Reasons Why,' where the suicide of a high school student sets off a series of events.
Betrayal	A character deceives or acts against another character's trust.	The betrayal trope involves one character breaking the trust of another, leading to emotional turmoil, conflict, and consequences. An example of this trope is the movie 'The Departed,' where characters betray each other in a web of deception and double-crossing.
Red Herring	A misleading clue or character that distracts from the true solution to the mystery.	The red herring trope involves introducing false leads or clues that mislead characters and the audience, diverting attention from the actual solution to the mystery. An example of this trope is the TV show 'Sherlock,' where the detective often encounters red herrings in his investigations.
Character Arc	A character undergoes growth, change, or development throughout the story.	The character arc trope involves a character experiencing transformation, learning, or self-discovery as they navigate the events of the story. An example of this trope is the movie 'The Shawshank Redemption,' where Andy Dufresne undergoes a profound character arc while in prison.

Memorable lines in the script:

Scene Number	Line
26	Blanc: When good people get desperate, the knives come out.
34	Marta: I'm all just pure adrenaline now it's like I swallowed bees.
36	Fran: you... did this... won't... get away.. with this
43	Fran: you... did this...
45	Benoit Blanc: I want you to remember something very important: you won not by playing the game Harlan's way, but yours.

Some Loglines to consider:

A wealthy patriarch's death sparks a hunt for a motive in a murder mystery filled with financial dependence, inheritance quarrels, and infidelity.
Amidst accusations and tension, a private investigator investigates a break-in at the scene of a wealthy patriarch's murder and uncovers a shocking truth.
A nurse unwittingly becomes the main suspect in a murder case after accidentally injecting her patient with a lethal dose of morphine.
A family feud over inheritance is reignited when a wealthy patriarch dies in mysterious circumstances, leading a private investigator on a wild goose chase for the truth.
A young nurse inherits the estate of a wealthy patriarch and soon becomes the prime suspect in his murder, leading to a thrilling game of cat and mouse to identify the killer before it's too late.

Help & FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

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Click on any scene title to view the full analysis, including critiques and suggestions for improvement.
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KNIVES OUT

A Murder Mystery by

Rian Johnson
EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE MANOR HOUSE - DAWN

The grounds of a New England manor. Pre-dawn misty.

INT. MANOR - PANTRY / LIVING ROOM / FOYER / HALLWAY - DAWN

INSIDE THE MANOR

Unlit and still. Gothic with a theme of antique games,
arcane puzzles and decorative weapons.

First floor: A drawing room, living room, kitchen. The
detritus of a party. Stray champagne flutes.

INT. THROMBEY ESTATE - 2ND FLOOR - DAWN

Follow one housekeeper named FRAN carrying a tray of coffee
up a flight of stairs.

Second floor: a hallway, doors all closed. The house has
not woken up, and Fran steps lightly. Up a much narrower
creaky flight of steep stairs.

INT. THROMBEY ESTATE - 3RD FLOOR MASTER BEDROOM - DAWN

Third floor: the master bedroom suite.

FRAN
Morning Mr Thrombey

But the bed is empty, unslept in. A robe thrown across it.

Fran heads out onto the landing and UP an EVEN NARROWER half
flight of stairs, which leads to a single door.

INT. HARLAN THROMBEY'S STUDY - DAWN

A cramped attic study, every shelf crammed with curios.

The door swings open and Fran sees:

HARLAN THROMBEY himself. 85 years old. Slung across a
white leather day bed.

Throat slit. Drenched in blood. Very much dead.

CUT TO: Title card, on black.

THEN TO:
2.

INT. MARTA'S BEDROOM - MORNING

MARTA CABRERA wakes with a cry.

Plain, modern, cramped. Marta, in her late twenties, takes
a moment to catch her breath. Opens a window.

EXT. SOUTH BOSTON HOUSING PROJECT - MORNING

A tiny window in a cheap apartment building opens, Marta's
face appears breathing deep.

SUPER: "ONE WEEK LATER"

INT. CABRERA KITCHEN - MORNING

Marta sits in front of a laptop. Her MOM is at the table
with her, her sister ALICE watches CSI on an iPad on the
counter top. Murder related dialog from the show.

Marta scroll through a jobs site, tired, eyes dead. Her mom
watches, concerned.

MOM
Alice, turn that off now.

ALICE MOM
Why it's almost over, what - Now please just turn it off.
they're finding out who did
it and the wifi sucks in my Turn it off. Now.
room so it doesn't play it's
like two minutes left what Alice. Off.
there isn't even anything
bad on it, it's just normal They're talking about murder
tv and they're just talking on it, your sister just had
ok ok goddddd whatever ok a friend she loves slit his
whatever. throat open she doesn't need
to be hearing that right now
let's be sensitive!

Mom standing yelling, Alice slams the iPad cover closed.
Marta puts her head in her hand. Looks at her mom, who
looks back at her with protective sympathy. Marta starts
laughing at the absurdity of it, but the laugh turns into
crying.

MARTA
Thanks mom. I love you. God, none
of this seems real. Alice you can
keep watching your show it's alright.
3.

ALICE
No, I guessed who did it anyway. I'm
sorry Marta.

Alice hugs her sister. Marta's phone rings. WALT THROMBEY.

MARTA
It's Harlan's son. Maybe it's about
the funeral.
(answers)
Hi, Walt.
(listens)
Uh huh.

Her face shifts in confusion.

MARTA (cont'd)
What?

EXT. PRIVATE ROAD - LATE MORNING

A long narrow private road leading to the Thrombey estate.

Marta's shitty SUBCOMPACT car buzzes by, towards the house.

Genres: Mystery, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Emotional, Dark

Summary In the wake of wealthy mystery novelist Harlan Thrombey's murder, housemaid Fran stumbles upon his lifeless body. As the investigation commences a week later, immigrant caretaker Marta Cabrera learns of his demise and heads to the Thrombey estate. Marta's grief over her friend's recent suicide adds to her distress as she becomes a suspect in Thrombey's murder, prompting concerns from her family.

Strengths

Effective setup of mystery and emotional impact
Realistic dialogue
Engaging plot

Weaknesses

Some characters need more development
Dialogue could be more dynamic

General Critique

The scene opens with a classic murder mystery setup, which is intriguing and sets the tone for the rest of the script.
The transition from the discovery of the murder to Marta's everyday life one week later is a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
The dialogue between Marta, her mom, and her sister feels a bit forced and could be more natural.
The emotional impact of Marta's situation could be portrayed more effectively to engage the audience.
The introduction of Walt Thrombey's phone call adds an interesting twist to the scene, but the delivery of the news could be more impactful.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more depth to Marta's emotional state to make her character more relatable and engaging.
Work on making the dialogue between Marta, her mom, and her sister more realistic and less forced.
Explore different ways to transition from the murder discovery to Marta's everyday life to create a smoother flow.
Enhance the delivery of the news from Walt Thrombey to increase the impact on Marta and the audience.
Consider adding visual cues or subtle details to enhance the atmosphere and mood of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE FRONT DRIVE

Several cars, including a police cruiser with a few
uniformed officers by it. Marta pulls up. An officer eyes
her, approaches.

COP
Excuse me ma'am. Are you with the
help?

MEG, Thrombey's college aged granddaughter, trots out.

MEG
Hey! Her name is Marta, she was
granddad's nurse, she's with us.
"The help?" What the hell.

MARTA MEG
(to the cop) (mutters)
It's ok, sorry. It's not ok. Cops, man.

They hug, and are both instantly crying. They laugh.

MEG (cont'd)
Oh god. Look at us.
4.

MARTA
How are you? This week, how have you

MEG
Yeah. It's been rough, the whole
week just awful. And now this,
(the cop cars)
we thought we were done.

MARTA
Walt called me, but yeah I thought
the cops got our statements already,
what are we

MEG
I dunno, they've got more dumbass
questions, something. Dumb.
(she vapes)
How are you doing?

MARTA
Not good. Alone, lots of just, this
(the crying)
and not knowing what to do next.

MEG
Anything you need, you're part of
this family Marta.

MARTA
Thanks.
(beat)
I wanted to ask, but I didn't want to
bother you guys, I didn't hear
anything, is the funeral, is there a
day for it, or

MEG
It was yesterday.

Marta's face falls.

MEG (cont'd)
Marta I told them that all of you,
Fran, everyone who worked with him
should have been there, you were
closer to Granddad than anyone the
past few years, but they got on this
whole roll about it was for the
family and it was a family thing,
they took a vote and we got outvoted.
I'm so sorry.
5.

MARTA
It's ok

MEG
It's not ok. This idiot family.

They both start laughing.

INT. FOYER

Thrombey's eldest daughter Linda opens the door for Marta.

LINDA
How you doing kiddo.

Linda is 60ish, well put together, sharp and steely eyed.
She dresses and speaks with just a little more sharpness
than any situation she's in requires.

MARTA
Hi Linda. How are you?

LINDA
Ueuh. The funeral helped. I guess.
Just seeing him. I thought you
should have been there, I'm sorry. I
was out voted.

Linda's husband Richard walks in, on the phone. Same age as
Linda, gruff and confident, will put his feet up on
anything.

RICHARD (ON PHONE)
I'm not the cop so I don't know.
Alright fine, don't come, get
arrested. Die up your own ass all I
care.
(hangs up)
He's not coming.
(to Marta)
Ransom. Little shit. Missed the
funeral. No, he is, he's a little
shit.

STATE TROOPER WAGNER, fresh faced in his 30s, pokes his head
in through a door.

TROOPER WAGNER
Excuse me, we're ready for you now,
we'd like to see you one at a time.
6.

LINDA
I'll start. Hopefully Joni and Walt
are on their way.

Linda exits with Wagner, leaving Richard and Marta.

RICHARD
So. How you doing kiddo.

INT. LIBRARY

Mystery and horror memorabilia scattered on the shelves.

Linda sits opposite three men: LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT, in his
30s, in a working suit. Very good at his job. The young
Trooper Wagner stands behind him.

Sitting back behind both of them, almost blending into the
background, is a slight man in a linen suit. Legs and arms
fold sharply, like a paper crane. Silent, listening.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Good to see you again, just to
reintroduce ourselves, I'm Detective
Lieutenant Elliott, Trooper Wagner
here. We just want to run through
everything one more time. I'm going
to record this if it's alright, just
makes it easier.
(squints at his phone)
I think that's... going... ok.
Speaking to Linda Drysdale, nee
Thrombey, Harlan Thrombey's eldest
daughter, regarding the events the
night of his demise, November 8th.

TROOPER WAGNER
We're sorry for your loss.

LINDA
(dry as chalk)
Thank you that means a lot.

Elliott checks his notes.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
So the whole family was gathered at
the house that night... for your
father's eighty fifth birthday party.

LINDA
Yes.
7.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
How was that?

LINDA
The party? Pre my dad's death? It
was great.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Dry, Sarcastic, Emotional, Humorous

Summary Nurse Marta and her friend Meg arrive at the Thrombey estate to find the funeral has already taken place. Marta is upset and Mrs. Thrombey apologizes for the exclusion. Marta meets with police detectives to give her statement about the events leading up to the patriarch's death.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Emotional depth
Character dynamics

Weaknesses

Lack of action or major plot development

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the gravity of the situation. The emotional impact of Marta discovering she was excluded from the funeral is not fully explored.
The dialogue feels a bit on the nose and lacks subtlety, especially in the interactions between the characters. The emotional beats could be more nuanced and layered.
The introduction of the police officers and the transition to the conversation with Linda and Richard feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
The setting and atmosphere of the Thrombey estate could be better established to create a more immersive experience for the audience.
The character dynamics and relationships could be further developed to add depth and complexity to the interactions.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more subtext and depth to the dialogue to enhance the emotional impact of the scene.
Introduce more visual cues and descriptive elements to set the tone and atmosphere of the Thrombey estate.
Work on building up the tension and conflict in the interactions between the characters to create a more engaging and dynamic scene.
Explore the internal struggles and motivations of the characters to add layers to their interactions and make them more compelling.
Consider restructuring the scene to create a more seamless flow between the different interactions and plot points.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY - FLASHBACK

Warmly lit, classic rock playing, food laid out. Linda and
Richard mingle happily with the rest of the family (who
we'll meet shortly.)

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
Anyone besides the family there that
night?

LINDA (V.O.)
Uh. The caterers. Fran, the
housekeeper. Marta, Harlan's nurse
caretaker person, hard worker, good
girl. Family's from Ecuador. And
Wanetta - Greatnana, Dad's mom.

At the snack table wearing a dozen coats, a woman who might
be three hundred years old. She pounds down chips and dip
like a machine.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
(wow)
His mom? How old is she?

LINDA (V.O.)
Nobody knows.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
Your son Ransom, he lives in town
right? He was at the party too?

LINDA (V.O.)
Yes but he left early.

RANSOM DRYSDALE, roguishly handsome in his early 30s,
breezes out the side door, past Greatnana.

GREATNANA
Ransom, are you leaving?
8.

INT. LIBRARY

The strange man in the linen suit taps Elliott's chair with
his toe, as if reminding to ask him something.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Right, did all three of you arrive to
the party at the same time?

LINDA
N...o, Richard went over early to
help the caterers set up, I got there
around 8, Ransom a little later.

She raises a questioning finger to ask about the man but

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
And in Boston you and your husband
work for a real estate firm?

LINDA
(sharp)
It's my firm.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
(checks notes)
Sorry. Right.

LINDA
I built my business from the ground
up.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Just like your dad.

LINDA
Just. Like my dad.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Were you very close?

LINDA
We had our own secret way of
communicating. You had to find that
with dad. You had to find a game to
play with him. And if you did that,
and played by his rules...
(beat)
Yeah we were close.

CUT TO: Richard in the chair Linda was in, giving his
statement.
9.

RICHARD
Everyone idolizes their dad, right?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Do they?

RICHARD
Very much not, don't know why I said
that. But Linda does.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY

Harlan Thrombey, surrounded by his family, Richard and Linda
flanking him, a birthday cake with candles. All smiles.

RICHARD (V.O.)
Harlan started with a rusty Smith-
Corona, built himself into one of the
bestselling mystery writers of all
time. Linda followed his lead. We
did. Linda and I.

INT. LIBRARY

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Seems like all his kids are self made
overachievers.

Richard makes a "...sure" face. CUT TO:

WALT THROMBEY now sits in the questioning chair. Late 40s,
softly obsequious in a sweater and loafers. His leg is in a
cast.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (cont'd)
Speaking to Walt Thrombey, Harlan's
youngest son.

Elliott points to Walt's cast.

WALT
Augh, bicycling accident. Dumb.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
So you run your dad's publishing
company?
10.

WALT
Yeah. It's my - it's our, it's the
family's publishing company, dad
trusts me to run it. 30 languages,
over 80 million copies. A real
legacy. You guys fans?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT TROOPER WAGNER
I don't read much fiction - BIG fan. Big.

TROOPER WAGNER (cont'd)
His plots, like something like "A
Thousand Knives," with the - I don't
want to spoil it but - the cow and
the shotgun, I'm like how did he come
up with that?

WALT
Dad said the plots just popped into
his head fully formed, that was the
easy part for him -

TAP from the linen suit man's foot.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
You live in town, right? What time
did you and your family arrive at the
party?

Walt looks at Linen suit, thrown.

WALT
Uh. We all got there about 8.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Crime
Tone: Serious, Reflective, Informative

Summary The Thrombey family is gathered for a party at their home. Guests mingle and enjoy each other's company. Lieutenant Elliott interviews family members, including Linda, Richard, Walt, and Greatnana, about Harlan and their relationships with him. The scene ends with Walt being interviewed about his involvement in the family business.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Character development
Setting up mystery and intrigue

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be too expository
Limited emotional impact in the scene

General Critique

The scene provides a lot of exposition and background information, which can be overwhelming for the audience. It feels like a data dump rather than a natural progression of the story.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural at times, especially the interactions between the characters and the detectives. It lacks subtlety and depth.
The transitions between different locations and characters are abrupt and disjointed, making it difficult for the audience to follow the scene smoothly.
The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to engage the audience in the characters' feelings and motivations. It feels more like a recitation of facts rather than a compelling narrative.
The scene focuses too much on providing information about the characters and their relationships, rather than advancing the plot or building tension.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to reveal information gradually and organically through character interactions and actions.
Work on developing more natural and authentic dialogue that reflects the characters' personalities and emotions.
Smooth out the transitions between different locations and characters to create a more cohesive and fluid scene.
Focus on creating emotional depth and engaging the audience in the characters' internal struggles and conflicts.
Try to balance exposition with action and conflict to keep the scene dynamic and engaging.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY

Walt laughing and mingling with his nervous wife DONNA.

WALT (V.O.)
My wife Donna, she's my rock.

Richard backs up into Donna, who YELPS in fear and throws
her martini in the air. Richard jumps, but Walt doesn't
even register it.

RICHARD
Jeeesus! Donna, you alright?

WALT (V.O.)
And my son Jacob, he's sixteen. Very
politically active.
11.

His angry looking son JACOB, who is always on his phone.

INT. LIBRARY

Quick cuts, each in the chair:

MEG
He's an alt-right troll dipshit

RICHARD
The boy's literally a nazi

WALT
Kids today, with the internet,
amazing.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
So the night went well then?

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY

The exact same moment we saw with Richard and Linda of
Harlan in front of the birthday cake - but now it's Walt,
Donna and Jacob next to Harlan.

WALT (V.O.)
Yeah. We're all gutted but I'm happy
we got that night with dad. To be by
his side, to think about our books
and what we've accomplished with
them, it's like I can still feel his
hand on my shoulder.

INT. LIBRARY

WALT
Passing the torch.

Cut to: JONI THROMBEY in the chair. A striking woman, tall
and boho chic in chunky jewelry and a flowy dress.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Speaking now to Joni Thrombey,
Harlan's... daughter in law?

JONI
Mm. I was married to his son Neil,
We had one daughter, Meg, and then
Neil passed on fifteen years ago.
12.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
And you've obviously stayed close to
the Thrombeys.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY

Joni dances with various family members, free and flowing.

JONI (V.O.)
Oh they're my family. I feel
simultaneously freed by and supported
by them, that balance of opposites is
the nugget of Flam.

INT. LIBRARY - PRESENT

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Nugget of?

JONI
Flam.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Flam nugget.

JONI
The nugget of truth.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Uh?

JONI
At the center of the Flam philosophy.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Ah! Sorry Flam, right, your skin
care company.

JONI
I forgive you yes, it's skin care but
it promotes a total lifestyle. Self
sufficiency with an acknowledgment of
human need. That's Flam, but it's
also Harlan. He got me and Meg
through some tough times.

Meg in the chair.
13.

MEG
Granddad gives my mom a yearly
allowance, and he's never missed
wiring a tuition payment to my
schools. He's a genuinely selfless
man.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
You left his party early?

MEG
To see some friends at Curry.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY

Meg trots out. Linda, pissed, to Richard so Joni can hear:

LINDA
Dad's paying for her crypto-Marxist
postdeconstructual feminist poetry
theory whatever major, she could have
stuck around for the cake.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Sarcastic, Satirical, Informative

Summary Amidst the celebration, Donna is startled by Richard's clumsy accident. Walt, oblivious, introduces his pensive son, Jacob. Family members share mixed views on Harlan. Joni dances and praises his philosophy. Meg reveals his financial support. Linda's frustration with Meg's absence lingers.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Complex character relationships
Blend of humor and drama

Weaknesses

Lack of deep emotional impact
Character changes are subtle

General Critique

The scene transitions between the living room and the library can be a bit abrupt and disjointed, making it slightly confusing for the audience to follow.
The dialogue between the characters in the living room lacks depth and substance, focusing more on surface-level interactions and stereotypes.
The character introductions and interactions in the library feel rushed and don't allow for much development or exploration of the relationships between the family members.
The dialogue between Joni and Lieutenant Elliott about the Flam philosophy feels forced and doesn't flow naturally within the conversation.
The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, making it feel more like a series of disconnected interactions rather than a cohesive narrative.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to have a clearer flow between the living room and the library, allowing for smoother transitions and better continuity.
Focus on developing more meaningful and engaging dialogue that delves deeper into the characters' relationships, motivations, and conflicts.
Give each character in the library scene more time to shine and showcase their personalities, backgrounds, and connections to Harlan Thrombey.
Revisit the conversation between Joni and Lieutenant Elliott to make it more organic and integrated into the overall narrative, ensuring it adds depth and relevance to the story.
Try to establish a central conflict or theme in the scene that ties the interactions together and drives the story forward, creating a more engaging and cohesive narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIBRARY

JONI
I think Linda was upset. But Harlan
understood.

Tap.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
But you two arrived together to the
party?

Joni looks at the linen suit man.

JONI
If I could - pause - because I, who
is that guy? And why are we doing
all this? Again?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Right. We're following up here, just
being thorough, in order to determine
the manner of death.

Cut back to Walt in the chair.
14.

WALT
(what?)
The manner of death? I can save the
taxpayers some money here -

Walt gestures vaguely to his throat.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
That's the cause of death. The
manner of death is still pending.

WALT
(almost laughing)
So by "manner of death" you mean if
he was killed. If one of us killed
him. One of his family?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
None of us think that, this is pro
forma, all of it.

CUT TO: Richard in the chair. He doesn't buy it.

RICHARD
Ok. So who the fuck is that?

He points at linen suit. Elliott takes a breath.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
This is Benoit Blanc.

RICHARD
(the hell?)
Benoit Blanc?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
He is... a...

Elliott looks back at Blanc, prompting him to introduce
himself, but the man stays silent.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (cont'd)
He's a

RICHARD
Does he talk?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
He does.

They all look back at Blanc.
15.

BLANC
I do.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Mr. Blanc is a private investigator
of great renown.

Joni in the chair.

JONI
Wait a minute - I read a tweet about
a New Yorker article about you. The
last of the gentlemen sleuths? You
solved that case with the tennis
champ - you're famous!

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Mr. Blanc requested to sit in on the
questioning and I happily consented.
I can vouch for him.

Linda in the chair.

LINDA
Oh you vouch for him, well thank you,
detective I just met five minutes
ago. Mr. Blanc, I know who you are,
I read your New Yorker profile. It
was delightful. I just buried my
eighty five year old father who
committed suicide. Why are you here?

Elliott and Wagner turn back to Blanc, who leans forward
slightly and speaks in the gentlest southern lilt you have
ever heard in your life.

BLANC
I am here at the behest of a client.

LINDA
Who?

BLANC
I cannot say, but let me assure you
this: my presence will be
ornamental, a respectful, quiet,
passive observer. Of the truth.

Elliott and Wagner turn nervously back to Linda. She
doesn't look thrilled. Cut to Richard.

RICHARD
Fine. Are we getting there?
16.

BLANC
Nearly. Harlan's nurse. She was at
the party in a professional capacity?

Blanc begins idly playing with a silver dollar.

RICHARD
Marta?

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY

The family is engaged in an animated discussion, Marta
standing on the outskirts.

RICHARD (V.O.)
I guess. Harlan hired her to be
around, take care of whatever medical
needs pop up, but really she's like
part of the family.

Richard beckons with his cake, calls Marta into the
discussion, into the circle of the family.

RICHARD (V.O.) (cont'd)
Good kid, been a good friend to
Harlan. Her family's from Paraguay.
I know Linda likes her work ethic.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Suspenseful, Sarcastic, Inquisitive, Informative

Summary Lieutenant Elliott introduces renowned private investigator Benoit Blanc to the Thrombey family during their questioning about Harlan's death. Blanc reveals his presence is at the request of an anonymous client and assures he will serve as a passive observer. Despite initial skepticism, the family agrees to his participation. Blanc begins by inquiring about Marta, Harlan's nurse, described by the family as a valued member of their household.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Intriguing setup
Complex characters

Weaknesses

Emotional impact could be stronger
Character changes not fully realized

General Critique

The scene starts off with a lot of confusion and lack of clarity in terms of character introductions and their interactions.
There is a lot of back and forth dialogue that may be difficult for the audience to follow, especially with the introduction of a new character, Benoit Blanc, without much context.
The scene lacks a clear focus or direction, with characters questioning the presence of Blanc and not receiving clear answers.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural at times, with characters making abrupt statements and not engaging in meaningful conversation.
The transition from the previous scene to this one is abrupt and doesn't flow smoothly, leaving the audience disoriented.
There is a lack of emotional depth or connection between the characters, making it hard for the audience to empathize or engage with the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Provide more context and background information about Benoit Blanc to help the audience understand his role and significance in the scene.
Simplify the dialogue and focus on meaningful interactions between the characters to drive the plot forward.
Clarify the purpose of the scene and ensure that each character's presence and dialogue contribute to the overall narrative.
Consider restructuring the scene to create a more cohesive and engaging flow of events, with clear transitions between character interactions.
Add emotional depth and tension to the scene by exploring the relationships and conflicts between the characters in a more nuanced way.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIBRARY

RICHARD
"Immigrants - we get the job done."
From Hamilton.

Wagner gives him a smile to show he got the reference.

Cut to Linda back in the chair.

BLANC
May I just - and then I'll recede,
but as a self made man myself I have
to express my admiration for how
you've followed in your father's
footsteps.

LINDA
Thank you.
17.

BLANC
The whole family too. Joni with her
things, Walt with his publishing
empire.

LINDA
Well.

Blanc pauses. Doesn't push anything. Just waits a moment.

LINDA (cont'd)
Yes. I mean. Walt, yeah. He's done
well with what dad's given him, but
it's not the same. I built my
company up from nothing, like dad.
Walt - not like it matters but he was
sort of adrift, dad gave him the job,
but really dad hands him a book twice
a year and Walt publishes it, I
mean... it's different.

BLANC
But surely Walt runs the
merchandising, adaptations, film and
television rights...

Linda squints, narrowing her eyes on Blanc. Softly:

LINDA
Are you baiting me, Detective? You
know he doesn't, and you think I'm
dumb enough to be baited into talking
family business, into shit talking my
brother in front of a state trooper
and police detective -

Richard in the chair.

RICHARD
Walt doesn't run shit! There are no
film or tv rights, Harlan's never
allowed any adaptations of his books.
Hates the idea.

BLANC
No!

RICHARD
Oh yeah! Drives Walt nuts, cause
that's where the real money's at.
When he gets a little Irish courage
in him he'll get into it with Harlan.
18.

BLANC
Did he get "into it" at the party?

RICHARD
Oh my god.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY

Walt with a drink in his hand has cornered Harlan. Richard
watches across the room as Walt goes from arguing to
pleading.

RICHARD (V.O.)
He wouldn't leave him alone. Poor
Harlan had to give him the hook.

Harlan has had enough, he takes Walt's arm and leads him
into the drawing room for a private talk.

RICHARD (V.O.) (cont'd)
I didn't hear what he said but he
must have really handed him his
lunch, Walt was like a wounded puppy
the rest of the night.

INT. LIBRARY

Walt in the chair, indignant.

WALT BLANC
What? Richard said what?
Jesus. No, we didn't get I'm just trying to get an
"into it." accurate impression - Harlan
took you aside at the party,
when you returned you were
chastened, what did Harlan
say to you?

Walt starts to open his mouth, hesitates. Off his
frightened face we FLASH BACK:

INT. DRAWING ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY

Walt, drunk, Harlan guiding him firmly into the shadows.
19.

WALT HARLAN
If you'll just look at - the
Netflix guys, their business
affairs guy sent over
something, hard numbers this
time, and I think - this is Walt.
a window, it's not going to
last and you should just
look at these numbers Walt.

WALT
Dad you put me in charge of our books
let me be in charge, let me do this!
Please.

HARLAN
They're not our books, son. They're
my books. And this is not how I
wanted to have this conversation but,
you're right, it's unfair of me to
keep you tethered to something that
isn't yours to control.

WALT
What?

HARLAN
I've done you a grave disservice all
these years, I've kept you from
building something that's yours.
You're not going to run the
publishing house anymore.

WALT
Dad. Are you firing me?

HARLAN
We'll talk about details tomorrow.
But my mind's made up.

Harlan squeezes his arm, then leaves him shell shocked.

Genres: Mystery, Drama
Tone: Tense, Confrontational, Revealing

Summary In the library, Blanc questions Linda and Richard about Walt. Richard belittles Walt's career, while Linda dismisses his intelligence. A flashback reveals Walt arguing with Harlan at the party, resulting in his dismissal from the publishing house.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Revealing character interactions
Tension-building

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be too on-the-nose
Limited physical action

General Critique

The scene starts with a quote from Hamilton, which may not be necessary and could potentially distract from the main dialogue.
The dialogue between Blanc and Linda feels a bit forced and unnatural, especially when Linda questions Blanc's intentions. It could be more subtle and nuanced.
The flashback to the party where Walt argues with Harlan is a bit lengthy and could be condensed to focus on the key moments that reveal their dynamic.
The transition from the flashback to the present is abrupt and could be smoother to avoid confusion for the audience.
The dialogue between Blanc and Walt in the present feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more depth and exploration of Walt's emotions and motivations.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider starting the scene with a more relevant quote or eliminating it altogether to maintain focus on the main dialogue.
Refine the dialogue between Blanc and Linda to make it more natural and engaging, avoiding any forced interactions.
Condense the flashback to the party to highlight the key moments that reveal Walt and Harlan's relationship dynamics more effectively.
Smooth out the transition between the flashback and present scenes to ensure clarity for the audience.
Expand on the dialogue between Blanc and Walt in the present to delve deeper into Walt's emotions and motivations, adding more depth to the interaction.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIBRARY

Back to Walt's hesitating face. The briefest of moments has
passed. Walt lies:

WALT
We talked, we had a business
discussion, about ebooks, Jesus, it
was nothing.
(MORE)
20.

WALT (cont'd)
You want to talk about an argument,
hell Ransom had an argument with him.

BLANC
Ransom, Richard and Linda's son?

WALT
Look we love Ransom, he has a good
heart, we love him.

BLANC
...but

WALT
But he's always been the black sheep
of the family, and I'm not, I, I keep
stuff like this in the family, but
with Ransom, he's never had a job, he
lives beyond his means, parties drugs
I dunno. But dad supports him
financially, they've got this love
hate bond. They fight. But that
night, god. They had a blow out.

BLANC
About what?

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY

The family having a conversation, everyone but Harlan, Jacob
and Ransom. It grinds to a halt as through the door to
Harlan's study indistinct shouting booms.

WALT (V.O.)
I don't know, nobody could make it
out, but it was huge. And it was
strange they went in another room to
do it - they usually love stoking up
drama in front of the family.

Ransom bursts out of the doors and storms out of the party,
past Greatnana.

GREATNANA
Ransom are you leaving?

INT. LIBRARY

Richard in the chair.
21.

BLANC
Speaking of getting into it, you were
at the house early to help the
caterer set up. Did you converse
with Harlan at that time?

RICHARD
He was there, I'm sure we spoke.

BLANC
In his study?

RICHARD
I don't think so.

BLANC
I questioned the caterer this
morning. She didn't see you helping
her staff, but she did hear Harlan in
a screaming match with someone that
afternoon. In his study.

RICHARD
I don't, a screaming match? No.
Joni was there early too, maybe it
was her, ask her.

BLANC
These were two male voices.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY OF PARTY

A CATERER walks through with a platter. Pauses, hears
shouting through the wall.

BLANC (V.O.)
Harlan shouted the phrase

HARLAN (O.S.)
...you tell her or I will!

INT. LIBRARY

BLANC
You tell her. Or I will. Bells
ringing?

For a just a split second, Richard considers what he is
going to say. In the second, we FLASH BACK:
22.

INT. SMALL STUDY - DAY OF PARTY

Harlan showing Richard photos on a laptop. Long lens
photos, of Richard kissing a woman who is not Linda.
Richard glares at it, Harlan turns an old baseball over in
his hands.

RICHARD
This is none of your goddamn
business, Harlan. Stay out of my
marriage.

Harlan holds up a sealed small envelope with flowery
embroidery, "L" written on the front.

HARLAN
I know my daughter. She'd want to
know. I've put it all in this letter
to her, tomorrow she gets it.

RICHARD HARLAN
I'm warning you once, don't She deserves to know, you're
do this like hell - going to tell her!

Harlan slams the baseball down on the desk.

HARLAN (cont'd)
You tell her or I will!

Genres: Mystery, Drama
Tone: Tense, Dramatic, Confrontational

Summary Walt deceives Blanc about his conversation with Harlan, divulging information about Ransom's argument with him. Blanc interrogates Richard about a potential altercation with Harlan, prompting a flashback revealing Harlan's confrontation with Richard over an affair.

Strengths

Tension-building
Revelation of family secrets
Complex character dynamics

Weaknesses

Lack of significant character development
Some dialogue may be overly expository

General Critique

The scene transitions between Walt lying to Blanc and a flashback of a heated argument between Harlan and Richard, which can be confusing for the audience.
The dialogue between Walt and Blanc feels a bit forced and expository, lacking natural flow and authenticity.
The flashback to the argument between Harlan and Richard is impactful but could be more seamlessly integrated into the present-day conversation.
The revelation of the argument and the photos of Richard kissing another woman feel somewhat cliched and predictable.
The scene lacks subtlety in revealing the tension between Harlan and Richard, relying heavily on confrontational dialogue and dramatic gestures.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between Walt's conversation with Blanc and the flashback, perhaps by interweaving the two more effectively.
Focus on crafting more natural and nuanced dialogue between Walt and Blanc to enhance the authenticity of the interaction.
Find ways to reveal the conflict between Harlan and Richard in a more subtle and layered manner, avoiding cliches and predictable revelations.
Explore different storytelling techniques to convey the tension and drama between the characters without relying solely on confrontational dialogue and dramatic gestures.
Consider adding depth to the characters' motivations and emotions to create a more engaging and compelling scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIBRARY

Back to Richard. He grins, snaps his fingers.

RICHARD
Yes. I know - yes, ha. So. Harlan
decided to finally put his mom in a
nursing home. Which Linda always
opposed. And I was going to wait
till we were back home in Boston to
tell her, so there wouldn't be a
whole scene, but Harlan wanted me to
tell her then. That was it. Sorry.
Forgot.

BLANC
It happens.

Joni in the chair.

JONI
The house?
23.

BLANC
Early. Richard said you were there.

JONI
I was. At the house early.

BLANC
To see Harlan?

JONI
To see Harlan. Yes.

Joni stops, smelling something in the air. She's about to
ask about it but -

BLANC
What were you seeing Harlan about?

JONI
It was just a mix up with the payment
for Meg's tuition.

BLANC
I'm sorry to press, what kind of mix
up?

Joni hesitates, we FLASH BACK:

INT. SMALL STUDY - DAY OF PARTY

Harlan at his desk, toying with the same old baseball. This
is a thing he does at his desk. Joni standing, arms crossed.

JONI
The school hasn't got the check yet,
I don't know why Alan didn't mail it

HARLAN
Alan didn't mail it because he caught
a discrepancy. Alan's office has
been wiring tuition directly to the
school, as per your request. But
Phyllis's office that handles your
yearly allowance has been wiring the
tuition money directly to you as
well. As per your request. You've
been double dipping Meg's tuition,
stealing from me. A hundred thousand
dollars a year. For the past four
years.
24.

Harlan shows Joni a letter from his business manager, with
transaction receipts attached.

JONI
Harlan. I don't know how this mix up
happened but

Harlan opens his ledger, hand writes a check.

HARLAN
I'm writing this tuition check, then
that is the last money you or Meg
will get from me.

JONI
Heh. Harlan come on

HARLAN
Joni this money has propped you up,
and kept Meg in a Peter Pan state of
perpetual nonsense majors. I know
it'll hurt but it's for the best.

Joni's speechless, her face frozen. Harlan puts the
baseball down and detaches the check, holds it out to her.

HARLAN (cont'd)
My mind's made up.

INT. LIBRARY

Back to Joni. She shakes her head.

JONI
Just a money wiring issue. With the
office at the school. So I had to
ask Harlan to cut a check for this
semester. No big deal.

BLANC
Ah. Just checking - ha, check-ing.

Blanc is incredibly pleased with this pun.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Why don't we take a breather.
25.

INT. FOYER - DAY

Joni comes out into the foyer from the library, obviously
rattled. She pulls it together quick when Linda comes down
the stairs.

LINDA
Joni. You haven't seen Richard have
you?

JONI
No, I was just in with the - no.

INT. SMALL STUDY

LINDA (O.S.)
Richard!

Alone, Richard waits very still for Linda's footsteps to
walk away, then when he knows she's not coming in he
furtively rifles through desk drawers, finding various
ridiculous ephemera. He finds a small locked drawer,
jimmies it open with a letter opener.

Inside - the small pink envelope Harlan threatened him with
in his flashback. He rips it open, pulls out the card
inside.

It is blank.

Richard almost laughs. Drops it onto the desk.

RICHARD
Son of a bitch.

He spots Harlan's old baseball. Grabs it, spitefully chucks
it out the open window.

Genres: Mystery, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic

Summary In the library, Richard reveals Harlan's decision to put his mother in a nursing home, causing tension with Linda. Joni arrives and explains a tuition payment mix-up. Blanc questions her, triggering a flashback where Harlan accuses Joni of embezzling tuition payments. Joni dismisses it as a wiring issue, and Blanc ends the interview for a break. The scene ends with Joni leaving the library rattled and Richard searching Harlan's desk.

Strengths

Intriguing family dynamics
Revealing hidden secrets
Sharp dialogue

Weaknesses

Some exposition-heavy moments
Occasional lack of subtlety in character interactions

General Critique

The scene provides important information about Joni's financial deception and Harlan's reaction to it, but it feels a bit rushed and lacks emotional depth.
The dialogue between Joni and Harlan in the flashback is impactful, but the transition back to the present feels abrupt and could be smoother.
There is a missed opportunity to explore Joni's emotional response to Harlan cutting her off financially, which could add depth to her character.
The pun with Blanc's 'check-ing' joke feels out of place and disrupts the serious tone of the scene.
The scene could benefit from more visual cues or actions to enhance the storytelling and engage the audience.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider extending the flashback sequence to delve deeper into Joni's emotional turmoil and Harlan's decision to cut her off financially.
Work on creating a smoother transition between the flashback and present-day interactions to maintain the flow of the scene.
Explore Joni's internal conflict and reactions to Harlan's ultimatum to add layers to her character.
Avoid inserting humor in serious moments like Blanc's pun, as it can detract from the emotional impact of the scene.
Add visual cues or actions to enhance the storytelling and create a more immersive experience for the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. SIDE OF HOUSE - DAY

Blanc, Elliott and Wagner stroll long the wide lawn beside
the house. Blanc ignites a long thin cigar.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Maybe I'm a victim of my own
expectations.
(MORE)
26.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (cont'd)
But when the great Benoit Blanc
knocks on my door, I expect it's
going to be for something... if not
extraordinary, at least interesting.
This is an open and shut case of
suicide.
(checks watch)
And Benny we're at the point where I
need to know what we're doing here.

Blanc notices the OLD BASEBALL lying in the grass. He picks
it up idly.

BLANC
The method, throat slit. Typical of
a suicide?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Dramatic. Which tracks. The guy
lived in a CLUE board.

INT. FOYER

Marta sits alone, across from a portrait of Harlan. Muffled
voices out on the patio. Cigar smoke drifts by outside.

She creeps over to the glass door. Puts her ear to it.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (O.S.)
You ask me to drag all these good
people back for questioning, go over
it all again, I don't get it. This
is a pleasant family with the usual
quarrels but no possible motives for
murder - where are you going?

At that moment, BLANC's face appears right next to Marta's
staring right at her through the distorted glass. She yelps
and falls back.

EXT. PATIO

Blanc opens the glass door. Marta steps back sheepishly,
but with a warm nod Blanc beckons for her to join them.

BLANC
Harlan Thrombey's nurse, Marta...

MARTA
...Cabrera
27.

BLANC
Marta Cabrera.

TROOPER WAGNER
Miss Cabrera, we'll be with you soon,
if you'd just wait -

BLANC
Miss Cabrera, I did a little poking,
you're hired on a part time basis as
a registered nurse, yes?

MARTA
Yeah, I don't work for a VNA. Harlan
hired me directly.

BLANC
You're paid a flat rate for how many
hours a week?

MARTA
Fifteen.

BLANC
And how many hours a week do you
actually work?

MARTA
It... depends.

BLANC
Many more than 15. Yes. Why?

MARTA
I started at 15, but slowly he...
needed more help.

BLANC
Medical help?

MARTA
He needed a friend.

Blanc smiles at the girl, genuinely touched.

BLANC
Does having a kind heart make you a
good nurse? Or do people assume your
heart is kind because you're good at
your job? I'm musing, you don't have
to answer that.
(beat)
And you cared for him...?
28.

MARTA
I did. I cared for him. I never
really had a relationship with my
dad, I guess in a way Harlan -

BLANC
Sorry, how long did you care for him,
I meant?

MARTA
Five years.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Blanc.

BLANC
Yes. Marta we were just discussing
possible motives in the family. I
suspect Harlan has told you much
unfiltered truth about each of them,
and also that you are not the type to
betray his confidence, so I'd like to
know if you are a good liar?

MARTA
No. No, ha. I have a thing where I
physically, I actually... I'm sorry
this is gross, if I even think about
telling a lie I start to throw up.

BLANC
Really? Is Richard having an affair?

Marta is stunned. She FLASHES BACK TO:

EXT. PATIO - DAY - FLASHBACK

She reads, Harlan sits at his laptop, heavy with sadness.

HARLAN
Why do men instinctively pull at
loose threads on their parachutes?

MARTA
What?

Harlan spins his laptop towards her - the Richard photos.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Crime
Tone: Intriguing, Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional

Summary Lieutenant Elliott expresses disappointment in the investigation's lack of progress while Blanc examines a baseball. Marta, Harlan's nurse, overhears their conversation and is startled when Blanc appears beside her. He invites her to join them and questions her about her relationship with Harlan. She reveals her care for him and her inability to lie. Blanc confronts her with knowledge of Richard's affair, shocking her.

Strengths

Intriguing plot development
Complex character dynamics
Revealing family secrets

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel exposition-heavy
Flashbacks could be more seamlessly integrated

General Critique

The scene starts with a conversation between Lieutenant Elliott and Blanc that feels a bit drawn out and repetitive, with Elliott expressing his disappointment and Blanc musing about the suicide method. This dialogue could be tightened to maintain the audience's interest.
The transition to Marta sitting alone in the foyer feels a bit disconnected from the previous conversation, and the sudden appearance of Blanc's face next to Marta through the glass door feels a bit contrived for a scare moment.
The dialogue between Blanc, Marta, and the officers is informative but lacks a natural flow. The questioning about Marta's work hours and her relationship with Harlan feels a bit forced and could be integrated more smoothly into the conversation.
The flashback to Marta reading the Richard photos on Harlan's laptop is a bit abrupt and could be better integrated into the scene to provide more context and emotional impact.
Overall, the scene has some interesting elements but could benefit from tighter dialogue, smoother transitions, and more seamless integration of flashbacks.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider tightening the dialogue between Elliott and Blanc to maintain pacing and interest.
Find a more organic way to transition from the conversation outside to Marta in the foyer.
Integrate the flashback to Marta reading the Richard photos more smoothly into the scene for better emotional impact.
Work on creating a more natural flow in the dialogue between Blanc, Marta, and the officers to make the questioning feel more authentic.
Ensure that scare moments like Blanc's sudden appearance next to Marta feel more organic and less contrived.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. PATIO - DAY

Back to our scene. Marta looks queasy, tries to stall.
29.

MARTA
Heh - Richard? - affair? Heh.

BLANC
A yes or no will do.

She struggles, her jaw clenched, face working hard, then
attempts -

MARTA
.....no

And immediately VOMITS into a nearby planter.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT TROOPER WAGNER
Whoa! Oh my god!

They all rush to her, Blanc brings water, awfully concerned.

BLANC
Dear girl I'm sorry. I assumed you
were speaking figuratively.

Blanc takes the shortest acceptable beat of concern before
turning to Elliott.

BLANC (cont'd)
But I was obviously right, Richard is
having an affair, his father in law
found out and confronted him. "You
tell her. Or I will."

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Even if it's true... you ok?

Marta gives a weak thumbs up, recovering

ELLIOTT
Even if it's true, protecting his
marriage is weak sauce as a motive.

BLANC
Well. And then there is... Joni.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT TROOPER WAGNER
Joni? Joni?!

TROOPER WAGNER (cont'd)
Lifestyle guru Joni? No. Harlan was
supporting her and her daughter, she
had the opposite of a motive.

Marta tries to quietly slip back into the house
30.

BLANC
And if that support was threatened?
Miss Cabrera one moment please

MARTA
I'm just going to go get some Scope

BLANC
Miss Cabrera, was Harlan planning on
cutting off Joni's allowance?

Off Marta's "oh god no" face:

INT. STUDY - DAY - FLASHBACK

Harlan looking at the letter from his business manager, with
the transaction receipts. He sighs heavily.

MARTA
What's up?

HARLAN
When does a lifeline become a noose?

MARTA
A moose?

He hands her the letter.

HARLAN
No, not a moose.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic

Summary Marta denies her affair with Richard, followed by vomiting. Blanc proposes that Richard's father-in-law confronted him about the affair, threatening to reveal it to Marta. Elliott expresses doubt about the motive's strength. Blanc introduces Joni, a lifestyle guru supported by Harlan, and suggests Harlan's plans to terminate her stipend. The scene concludes with Marta attempting to re-enter the house.

Strengths

Intriguing plot development
Sharp dialogue
Revealing character interactions

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel slightly forced or expository

General Critique

The scene starts with Marta struggling to answer Blanc's question about Richard's affair, leading to an unrealistic and exaggerated vomiting reaction. This reaction feels forced and out of place in the context of the scene.
Blanc's immediate concern for Marta's well-being seems insincere and overly dramatic, detracting from the authenticity of the moment.
The transition from Marta vomiting to Blanc revealing information about Richard's affair and Joni's potential motive feels abrupt and disjointed, lacking a smooth flow of conversation.
The flashback to Harlan and Marta discussing Joni's allowance comes across as random and disconnected from the current conversation, making it difficult for the audience to follow the narrative thread.
The dialogue in the flashback feels forced and unnatural, with Marta's misunderstanding of 'noose' for 'moose' coming off as awkward and unnecessary.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider toning down Marta's vomiting reaction to make it more realistic and less exaggerated.
Focus on building a more genuine and empathetic interaction between Blanc and Marta, rather than relying on dramatic reactions for impact.
Ensure a smoother transition between different plot points and conversations to maintain coherence and clarity in the scene.
Integrate the flashback more seamlessly into the current conversation to enhance the relevance and impact of the information being revealed.
Revise the dialogue in the flashback to make it more natural and relevant to the current discussion, avoiding unnecessary distractions or confusion.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. PATIO - DAY

Marta's face works against impending nausea.

MARTA
I...

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Ok don't answer that if you're going
to puke. Please.

But Blanc presses.

BLANC
Meg said Harlan pays the school
directly, Joni says he sends the
money to her.
(MORE)
31.

BLANC (cont'd)
Both were true, she was pocketing the
double payment, Harlan found out and
cut her off without a cent. Yes?
No?

Marta starts to shake her head no, but her throat convulses.
She nods. Blanc hands her a glass of water.

TROOPER WAGNER
And she bumps him off for the
inheritance? Come. On! Have you
seen her instagram? She Hamptons
with Gwyneth.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
I don't buy that she'd kill him over
an allowance, Blanc. She has her
business. More weak sauce.

Blanc idly scratches a spot on the side of his neck.

BLANC
That I'll grant you. But she lied.
To me. All three of them did.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Three?

BLANC
Walter.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
The value of Thrombey's books for
film and tv, now Walter can cash it
in. Again though, for patricide it's
weak.

BLANC
But there was something else. Harlan
had turned Walter down before
regarding film rights, but that night
something Harlan said shook him. We
look at the pattern, Harlan was
cleaning house. I wonder...
(to Marta)
did he plan to fire Walter?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT TROOPER WAGNER
Ok, Blanc - C'mon -
32.

MARTA
(honest & relieved)
If he did he didn't tell me. Thank
god. Can I wait inside? I don't
feel like I should be here.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Yes, but stay close.

She steps back in, grateful. Blanc to Elliott:

BLANC
You've been very patient my friend,
and you are right, none of these weak
alibis and domestic squibbles answer
your question: why is Benoit Blanc
here? But now I will tell you why.
(beat)
I am here because this morning
someone dodged one very important
question.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Who?

BLANC
Me. Linda asked who hired me.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
So who hired you?

BLANC
I. Don't. Know. An envelope of cash
showed up at my apartment yesterday,
with the news clipping of Thrombey's
death.

TROOPER WAGNER
An envelope of cash? That worked?

Blanc indicates with his fingers - several inches thick.

BLANC
An envelope of cash.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Hm. I'd like that for evidence.

BLANC
Of course.

Blanc hands him an empty envelope and news clipping.
Elliott arches an eyebrow, doesn't push it.
33.

BLANC (cont'd)
So somebody suspects foul play, but
goes through this ha cha dance of
hiring me, of staying anonymous.
Why? It makes no damn sense.
Compels me though.
(beat)
Walk me through everyone's
whereabouts at the time of death.

Elliott hesitates, but Blanc's got him hooked. He flips
open his notebook. Blanc leans back, closes his eyes.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
The party broke up at 11:30.
Everyone stayed the night at the
house, because they planned a family
breakfast the next morning.

INT. SECOND FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT OF PARTY

Marta and Harlan vanish up the stairs towards the third
floor, while Richard and Linda head into the bedroom right
next to the stairs. Down the hallway Joni waves, and ducks
into another bedroom.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
Marta took Harlan upstairs to give
him his meds, Richard and Linda and
Joni went right to bed. Now we do
have this: the stairs leading up to
Harlan's bedroom and his attic office
creak horribly.

INT. RICHARD AND LINDA'S GUEST ROOM - NIGHT OF THE PARTY

Richard sleeps deep, Linda sleeps lightly.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
And Linda is a light sleeper. So we
know every time someone took the
stairs that night.

INT. JONI AND MEG'S GUEST ROOM - NIGHT OF PARTY

Joni has decorated the room with colorful silks and candles.
She is in lotus position on her bed, meditating.
34.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
The first was when Joni heard a ka-
THUNK from somewhere above her in the
house.

Ka-THUNK! Joni looks up at the ceiling.

INT. SECOND FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT OF PARTY

Joni trots down the hall and up the creaky stairs.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
Worried about Harlan, she went to
check on him. Waking Linda.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Crime
Tone: Suspenseful, Intriguing, Intense, Dramatic

Summary In this scene, Detective Blanc questions Marta, Elliott, and Wagner about Joni's financial situation and Walter's potential involvement. Blanc reveals that he was hired anonymously to investigate Harlan's death and asks for everyone's whereabouts at the time of death. Elliott provides details about the family's whereabouts, while Wagner expresses skepticism about Joni's motive. Blanc confronts Elliott and Wagner about the weak alibis and motives presented by the family members and suggests that someone deliberately withheld information about Harlan's intentions to fire Walter.

Strengths

Building suspense and tension
Revealing crucial information about characters
Advancing the plot significantly

Weaknesses

Limited emotional impact
Subtle character changes

General Critique

The scene is filled with tension and intrigue, which is engaging for the audience. However, the dialogue can be a bit convoluted at times, making it challenging to follow the various threads of conversation.
There are multiple characters and subplots introduced in this scene, which can make it overwhelming for the audience to keep track of all the information being presented.
The transition between different locations and characters could be smoother to avoid confusion and maintain the flow of the scene.
The visual elements, such as the creaky stairs and the characters' reactions, add depth to the scene and create a sense of suspense. However, some of the visual cues could be more clearly connected to the overall narrative.
The scene ends on a cliffhanger, which is effective in building anticipation for the next development in the story.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Simplify the dialogue to ensure clarity and coherence in the conversations between characters.
Consider focusing on a few key characters or plot points in each scene to avoid overwhelming the audience with too much information.
Smooth out the transitions between different locations and characters to maintain a seamless flow in the scene.
Enhance the visual cues to more directly support the narrative and create a stronger connection between the visuals and the story.
Continue to build suspense and intrigue in the scene, but ensure that the cliffhanger ending leads smoothly into the next part of the story.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. RICHARD AND LINDA'S GUEST ROOM - NIGHT OF PARTY

CREAK CREAK CREAK! From outside. Linda's eyes pop open.

INT. THIRD FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT OF PARTY

Joni knocks on the door of Harlan's attic office. It opens,
and Harlan answers. In the room behind him we see Marta,
her back turned, preparing a hypo needle.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
Harlan was in his attic office with
Marta. He explained that they had
just knocked the GO board over - that
game with the grid and stones, they
play it every night, and he was fine,
go to bed. So she does.

The spilled GO board on the floor. Joni kisses Harlan on
the cheek, goes. He shuts the door.

INT. RICHARD AND LINDA'S GUEST ROOM - NIGHT OF PARTY

Linda has just gotten back to sleep.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
Ten minutes later, Linda is woken a
second time, by Marta leaving.

CREAK CREAK CREAK! Linda wakes, supremely annoyed.

MARTA (O.S.)
Walt! I'm leaving now!
35.

EXT. FRONT PORCH - NIGHT OF PARTY

Walt and Jacob sit on the porch, Walt with a cigar, Jacob
with his phone. Marta trots through, saying goodbye.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
Walt was smoking a cigar on the porch
with his son. He saw her leave and
drive off, and noted the time -
midnight.

Walt glances at his watch. Midnight.

INT. RICHARD AND LINDA'S GUEST ROOM - NIGHT OF PARTY

Linda with a pillow over her head.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
Fifteen minutes later, Linda is woken
for the third and final time. By
someone coming down the stairs.

CREAK CREAK CREAK! Linda wakes. You've gotta be kidding me.

EXT. FRONT PORCH - NIGHT OF PARTY

Walt, still smoking with Jacob, spots Harlan through the
glazed glass, coming down the stairs in the foyer.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
Harlan. Who came down for midnight
snacks, which Walt tried to
discourage.

WALT
Dad, go to bed!

Through the glazed glass, Harlan goes back up the stairs.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
This is at 12:15. Based on this, the
medical examiner determined time of
death to be between 12:15 and 2am.
As Walt was finishing his cigar,
about 12:30, Meg came home. She went
straight to bed. Walt and Jacob
turned in shortly after that.

Meg pulls up, trots past Walt and Jacob and inside.
36.

INT. JONI AND MEG'S GUEST ROOM - NIGHT OF PARTY

Meg stirs, wakes. Joni is asleep.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (V.O.)
Sometime later that night,
undetermined but possibly near 3am,
Meg woke up because the dogs were
barking outside. She used the
bathroom and went back to bed.

EXT. PATIO - DAY

Elliott snaps the notebook closed.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
And that's it. Everyone's stories
matched, every movement accounted
for.

BLANC
There is no other staircase up to
Harlan's rooms?

Blanc scratches that same spot on the side of his neck.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
No. Just the creaky one.

BLANC
And Linda is certain another trip on
it would have woken her? Hm.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
You've got a bad rash there.

The spot on his neck. Blanc seems intrigued by this.

BLANC
Do I? Interesting.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
(not interesting)
Yeah. Interesting.

TROOPER WAGNER
So I guess we can rule out Ransom, he
wasn't there. And Marta, Harlan was
alive after she left. But Meg got
home during the time of death window.
37.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Except it was a suicide. Harlan hit
both carotids, he took no chances,
and the significant splatter patterns
are unbroken. Meaning nobody was
near him when it happened. It's
basically impossible for anyone but
Harlan to have cut his throat.

BLANC
Physical evidence can tell a clear
story with a forked tongue.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
What?

BLANC
And as we've seen this morning, all
people can lie. Well. Almost all.

INT. LIBRARY - LATE AFTERNOON

Marta in the chair. She shifts, uncomfortable.

Blanc, Elliott and Wagner in their normal places.

BLANC
Ms. Cabrera, we've kept you waiting
all afternoon because I wanted to
hear from you last. I wanted to have
the entire picture of the evening in
my head. Your piece of it is at its
very center. So please, take your
time. You took Mr. Thrombey upstairs
at 11:30. And left at midnight.
Think very carefully. And with as
much detail as possible, tell us what
happened in that half hour.

Marta is very still. A moment of silence. Blanc flips his
silver dollar into the air.

She does not say a word, but in that moment while the coin
hangs in the air we FLASH BACK with her to:

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Suspenseful, Intriguing, Tense

Summary During the night of Harlan Thrombey's murder, Linda hears creaking noises that disturb her sleep. She initially dismisses them but later believes they indicate someone's presence in the house. Harlan is seen coming down the stairs twice, once at midnight and again at 12:15 AM, which is after the estimated time of death. Meg arrives home around 12:30 AM and retires to bed. Marta is observed leaving the house at midnight, and Joni visits Harlan in his office before departing. The scene raises questions about the events surrounding Harlan's death and the involvement of the individuals present.

Strengths

Detailed timeline of events
Revealing character interactions
Building suspense and intrigue

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be repetitive
Limited emotional depth in certain interactions

General Critique

The scene transitions between different locations and timeframes quite abruptly, which can be confusing for the audience.
There is a lack of emotional depth and character development in the scene, making it feel flat and disconnected.
The dialogue feels forced and lacks authenticity, especially in the interactions between the characters.
The scene lacks a clear focus or central conflict, making it difficult for the audience to stay engaged.
The pacing of the scene is inconsistent, with some moments dragging on while others feel rushed.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to have a more cohesive flow, with smoother transitions between locations and timeframes.
Focus on developing the emotional arcs of the characters, adding depth to their interactions and motivations.
Work on improving the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of each character's personality.
Introduce a central conflict or tension that drives the scene forward and keeps the audience engaged.
Pay attention to the pacing of the scene, ensuring that each moment serves a purpose and contributes to the overall narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. HARLAN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

The night of the party. A clock on a nightstand: 11:32.
Off screen we hear Marta leading Harlan up the creaky
stairs.
38.

MARTA HARLAN
Up up up up - you got it? I got it. Up up up I got
it.

Marta enters the room, and behind her we see Harlan keep
climbing up the narrow stairs to his office.

MARTA
Up up nooooo no not tonight, no
straight to bed tonight it is soooo
late c'mon. Harlan. Harlan!

She grabs a med kit from the bedroom and follows him,
exasperated.

Genres: Mystery, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional

Summary Marta leads Harlan up the creaky stairs to his bedroom, but he ignores her and continues to his office. Marta grabs a med kit and follows him, exasperated.

Strengths

Revealing character motivations
Building tension and suspense
Exploring complex family dynamics

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may feel exposition-heavy

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering it is a flashback to the night of the party where significant events are unfolding.
The dialogue between Marta and Harlan feels a bit too casual and lacks the intensity that should be present in a scene where Marta is trying to prevent Harlan from going to his office.
The interaction between Marta and Harlan could be more dynamic and emotionally charged to reflect the gravity of the situation.
The scene could benefit from more visual cues to enhance the atmosphere and build suspense, such as using lighting and sound effects to create a sense of foreboding.
There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into Marta's internal conflict and emotional state as she tries to prevent Harlan from going to his office.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more tension and urgency to the scene by heightening the emotional stakes between Marta and Harlan.
Enhance the dialogue to reflect the gravity of the situation and the conflict between Marta's attempts to protect Harlan.
Utilize visual and auditory cues to create a more suspenseful atmosphere, such as dim lighting, creaking stairs, and ominous music.
Explore Marta's internal struggle and emotional turmoil more deeply to add layers to her character and increase audience engagement.
Consider incorporating subtle hints or foreshadowing of the events to come to build anticipation and intrigue.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. HARLAN THROMBEY'S STUDY - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Harlan sits, setting up a GO board. Marta enters.

MARTA HARLAN
It's late, I had champagne It's my birthday, we are -
no no no You had one glass - we're
not breaking tradition on my
birthday.

Marta puts two vials and a pill box on the GO board. She
pulls out two plastic wrapped hypodermics.

MARTA
Take your goddamn medicine and go to
bed.

HARLAN
If you're going to put that vile shit
in me you will have to earn it. On
my birthday.
(playing it up)
Eighty fifth. So old. Soo olddd

MARTA
Alright old man. 8x8 game.

She sits and they start clacking white and black stones on
the board.

HARLAN MARTA
Why can't I beat you at this
game? Because I'm not playing to
beat you, I'm playing to
Oh uh huh. build a beautiful pattern.

They play fast, and Marta is obviously winning.
39.

HARLAN
Elder abuse. I'm calling the AARP.

MARTA
Don't make me get the belt.

HARLAN
It's basically over. My only hope is
that an earthquake will strike. But
what are the chances -

Harlan starts shaking the table with his knee. He looks
around, startled. Marta just stares at him, deadpan.

HARLAN (cont'd)
Get under a door frame!

He tips the whole table and the GO board and med vials and
syringe and med kit fall to the soft rug. Things spill out
of the kit. A mess. Marta just shakes her head.

MARTA
Meds then beds.

HARLAN
Fair.

She retrieves the vials and loads a syringe from one of
them. Harlan rolls up his sleeve revealing a pre-inserted
catheter. He crosses to close the room's only small window.

HARLAN (cont'd)
Ugh, Walt's smoking a cigar on the
porch. Nasty things.

MARTA
How was tonight?

She hooks the syringe up to the catheter and slowly injects
him bit by bit while he talks.

HARLAN
Tonight was... good.

MARTA
Because I know you weren't looking
forward to it.

HARLAN
No. But I did it. Cut the line on
all four of them. It was not easy.
This goddamn fortune.
(MORE)
40.

HARLAN (cont'd)
Sometimes I think, everything I've
given my family, I've done, maybe
without knowing it, maybe, to keep
them beneath me. I should have
what... maybe, I don't know.
Encouraged Walt to write his own
stories, not just be a caretaker of
mine. Like you said I should. Been
a father, not just a provider, to
Joni. Like you've also said. I
should have been kinder to Linda.
And Ransom.

Harlan takes a curved ornamental dagger from a display
mount, turns it over in his hands.

HARLAN (cont'd)
Jesus there's so much me in that kid.
Confident, stupid, I dunno.
Protected. Playing life like a game
without consequence, till we can't
tell a stage prop from a real knife.

He stabs it into the desk, sharp and real. Leaves it there.

HARLAN (cont'd)
I don't fear death. But god I'd like
to fix some of this before I go.
Close the book with a flourish. I
guess we'll see.

MARTA
I guess we will. Hey. Old man.
You've had a long day. Let's do
drugs.

She loads the second syringe from the second vial.

HARLAN
Is that the good stuff?

MARTA
Yeah but just a tiny bit.

HARLAN
Send me to lala land. Why did I wait
till my mid eighties to become a
morphine user, this stuff's the best.

She pulls the needle from the second vial... then sees the
label. Freezes. Blinks at it.
41.

MARTA
Oh my god.

She snatches up the first vial she just injected him from.
Compares the label to the one she just picked up. They're
similar but not the same.

HARLAN
Is there a problem?

MARTA
This is what I just gave you 100
milligrams of. But I messed up.

HARLAN
You gave me 100 milligrams of the
good stuff.

She immediately pulls an EMERGENCY KIT from a nearby shelf,
starts calmly but quickly going through its contents.

HARLAN (cont'd)
What's the good stuff dosage supposed
to be?

MARTA
Lets not call it that right now -
three milligrams.

HARLAN
That's much less. So what happens?

MARTA
I give you an emergency shot of
Naloxone, so that you don't die in
ten minutes.

HARLAN
Well no pressure. You know that's an
interesting, efficient method for
murder, I need to write that down.

He gets a little notebook and scribbles while she checks and
rechecks the kit contents with increasing urgency.

HARLAN (cont'd)
So if someone switched the meds on
purpose I'd be dead in ten minutes,
like stone cold dead?

MARTA
You'll feel symptoms in five. Sweats,
disorientation.
(MORE)
42.

MARTA (cont'd)
Then yeah, that big a dose, injected,
within ten your respiratory - your -
yes ten minutes.

HARLAN
From the time of injection, so
eightish now. And even if the victim
called an ambulance when he first
felt symptoms, if he was at a country
home like this one... where the
ambulance takes fifteen minutes to
arrive, it would be too late. If the
victim didn't have this emergency
Naxostuff.

He watches her. She's now digging around the carpet,
looking under the couch. She dumps the entire contents of
the kit out and is now frantically going through it. A bead
of sweat rolls down Harlan's brow.

HARLAN (cont'd)
Marta. Do you have Naxostuff?

MARTA
Yes! Naloxone yes it comes with the
emergency kit - it should be here,
it's - fuck. No Harlan it's not
here. It's not. Oh my god.

They look at each other for a second. She's panicked. He's
thinking.

MARTA (cont'd)
Where's my phone? Shit -

She picks up a landline phone on the table, dials 911 with
shaking hands -

Before it can even ring, the line goes dead.

She looks, unbelieving: Harlan's finger is on the cradle.
His eyes are locked with hers, serious and certain.

MARTA (cont'd)
Harlan what are you doing?

HARLAN
Marta, listen to me.

MARTA HARLAN
Harlan we need to - are you Stop. Stop stop, Marta
crazy, we need to call, they listen there isn't time stop
need to get here I need to - now stop
43.

She goes for her cell phone across the room and Harlan stops
her - they trip and fall to the ground with a KA-THUNK.

MARTA HARLAN
What are you doing are you Marta it's too late it is
nuts? over, it's too late I am
dead listen. LISTEN.

He actually puts his hand over her mouth.

HARLAN (cont'd)
Listen. If what you said is true I
am gone, there's no saving me, we
have six minutes. There is one last
thing I need to do in this world, and
only you can help me do it. But you
need to trust me and do everything I
say.

MARTA
What do you want to do?

HARLAN
Get you out of this. Think of your
mom - please trust me, we have to
make this look ironclad like it can't
have been your fault. You. Can't.
Have done this.

MARTA
My mom...?

CREAK on the stairs outside.

HARLAN
Get up.

A knock on the door.

JONI (O.S.)
Harlan? Marta? Everything alright?

Harlan and Marta stand. She's dazed, deer in the
headlights, but he's focused and sharp. He turns her away
from the door.

HARLAN
Stand here, keep your back to me,
don't say a word.

Harlan opens the door. While he gets rid of Joni we stick
with Marta, who stands stock still, tears running down her
face, eyes wild - what does she do?
44.

HARLAN (cont'd)
Joni.

JONI
I - hi - I heard something, is
everything ok?

HARLAN
Oh yes we just, I just knocked over
the GO board, sorry about that.

JONI
Everything's alright?

HARLAN
Yes yes all fine, go to bed Joni.

JONI
Ok. And maybe we can talk tomorrow
about the, uh, the thing with

HARLAN
Yes. Tomorrow.

JONI
Love you, Night.

HARLAN
Night night.

Harlan shuts the door. Looks at the knife still sticking in
the desk. Then takes Marta's shoulders, looks in her eyes.

HARLAN (cont'd)
Your mom is still undocumented, if
this is your fault she'll be found
out and at best deported, your family
will be broken.

A new kind of fear in Marta's eyes.

MARTA HARLAN
Oh god But we're not going to let
that happen. I have a plan,
it's not going to be easy
but you have to do exactly
what I tell you. Will you
do this Marta? This last
thing. For me, and for your
family. Will you. Please.

She's terrified. But she nods.
45.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense

Summary Marta reluctantly plays a game of GO with Harlan to earn the right to give him his medicine. As they play, Marta realizes she has given him the wrong dosage and must help him frame her for his murder to protect her mother.

Strengths

Intense dialogue
High emotional impact
Complex character relationships
Suspenseful plot twists

Weaknesses

Complex medical terminology may be confusing for some viewers
Some may find the scene too intense or dark

General Critique

The scene starts with a playful interaction between Harlan and Marta, but quickly escalates into a tense and urgent situation, which may feel abrupt for the audience.
The dialogue between Harlan and Marta is engaging and reveals important information about their relationship and Harlan's character, but the transition from light banter to a life-threatening situation could be smoother.
The scene contains a lot of exposition and information about the medication mix-up, emergency procedures, and the potential consequences for Marta's family, which may feel overwhelming for the audience.
The emotional impact of the scene, particularly Marta's fear and Harlan's determination, could be heightened by focusing on their reactions and internal struggles more effectively.
The scene ends on a cliffhanger with Joni knocking on the door, creating suspense, but the resolution of this moment and the subsequent actions of the characters could be more impactful.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider building up the tension gradually throughout the scene to create a more seamless transition from the initial light-hearted interaction to the high-stakes situation.
Focus on the emotional journey of Marta and Harlan, delving deeper into their fears, motivations, and the weight of the decisions they are making.
Streamline the exposition about the medication mix-up and its consequences to ensure clarity without overwhelming the audience with too much information.
Enhance the visual and auditory elements of the scene to convey the urgency and intensity of the situation, using lighting, sound effects, and camera angles to heighten the drama.
Craft a more impactful resolution to the cliffhanger moment with Joni knocking on the door, ensuring that the subsequent actions of the characters propel the story forward and maintain the audience's engagement.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. FRONT PORCH - NIGHT OF THE PARTY - FLASHBACK

Walt smoking and Jacob.

HARLAN (V.O.)
Go downstairs as noisily as you can,
say goodbye loudly.

MARTA (O.S.)
Walt! I'm leaving!

Marta exits quickly, down to her car.

HARLAN (V.O.)
Call attention to the time if you
can.

MARTA
God it's almost midnight.

Walt checks his watch.

INT. MARTA'S CAR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

She drives out the guard gate and down the private road.

HARLAN (V.O.)
Drive out the gate, then to avoid the
security cameras, pull off the road
BEFORE the carved elephant.

Up ahead - a weathered wood carved elephant statue.

MARTA
Wait... was it before or after?

HARLAN (V.O.)
AFTER the carved elephant.

MARTA
No, he said - before? Was it?

HARLAN (V.O.)
BEAFTERFORE the carved elephant.

MARTA
Shit...

She yanks the wheel and pulls off BEFORE the statue.
46.

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Marta trudges away from the parked car, tree branches
catching her hair.

HARLAN (V.O.)
Park and come back on foot up to the
house,

MARTA
Goddammit Harlan.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE SIDE GATE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

A waist-high stone wall with a little pedestrian gate. The
house up ahead. Marta goes through the gate and up towards
the house.

HARLAN (V.O.)
Take the side yard path, through that
little gate.

The DOGS sprint down the moonlit yard from the house towards
Marta.

HARLAN (V.O.) (cont'd)
The dogs will know you, they
shouldn't bark.

The dogs stop at Marta and lick her hand.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE SIDE YARD - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Marta looks up the side of the looming house. A sturdy
trellis on the wall, and high above a third story window.

HARLAN (V.O.)
You've got to get up to the third
floor without being seen, and the
only way is to climb the side trellis
and come in through the trick hall
window.

MARTA
You've gotta be kidding me.

HARLAN (V.O.)
I am not. Do it.
47.

Cut to: moments later, Marta climbing the trellis. It's
easy going until a piece BREAKS under her foot, and she
swings for a second by one hand.

HARLAN (V.O.) (cont'd)
And for godssakes don't make any
noise.

INT. THIRD FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

What appears to be a dead end hallway, with a painting at
the end. BUT suddenly the end wall swings away like a door,
revealing a WINDOW behind it. Marta heaves her way in
through it, and steps lightly into Harlan's bedroom.

HARLAN (V.O.)
Once you're inside, this is the
tricky part.

MARTA (V.O.)
THIS is the tricky part?

INT. HARLAN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

HARLAN (V.O.)
Get my robe and cap from my bedroom.
And put them on.

She picks them up from the bed. Stops. A moment of doubt.

INT. HARLAN THROMBEY'S STUDY - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Back to the scene with Harlan. Marta stops him.

MARTA
Harlan this is - I -

HARLAN
Suspicion is going to fall on you,
and we need to make this so airtight
your average cop will entirely
dismiss you as a suspect. This seems
crazy but it will work.

INT. HARLAN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Marta in the robe, pulling the cap on, tucking her hair
under it.
48.

HARLAN (V.O.)
Now, go downstairs.

INT. SECOND FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT OF PARTY - FLASHBACK

Marta, in Harlan's robe and cap, creeps down the creaky
stairs, then keeps going down.

HARLAN (V.O.)
Walt and Jacob are smoking outside.
They'll see you...

INT. FOYER - NIGHT OF PARTY - FLASHBACK

Marta come down the stairs, and sees the outline of Walt and
Jacob outside through the glazed window windows.

HARLAN (V.O.)
...through the glazed window.

She holds her breath, a deer in the headlights.

WALT
Dad, go to bed.

Marta heads right back up the stairs.

HARLAN (V.O.)
You were seen leaving, the security
cameras show you driving off, and
twenty minutes later I am seen alive
and well by my son.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intriguing, Tense, Mysterious

Summary In a flashback, Marta follows Harlan's elaborate instructions to create an alibi for his murder, successfully deceiving Walt and Jacob.

Strengths

Intriguing plot
Complex characters
Tense atmosphere

Weaknesses

Some elements may be confusing for viewers

General Critique

The scene effectively builds tension and suspense as Marta follows Harlan's instructions to sneak back into the house after the party.
The use of flashbacks and voiceovers adds depth to the scene and helps to reveal crucial information about the events of the night of the party.
The scene effectively conveys Marta's internal struggle and reluctance to carry out Harlan's plan, adding complexity to her character.
The visual descriptions of Marta climbing the trellis and sneaking into the house create a sense of urgency and danger.
The dialogue between Marta and Harlan adds to the suspense and highlights the high stakes of the situation.
The scene effectively sets up the next sequence of events and leaves the audience wanting to know more about Marta's actions and Harlan's plan.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal monologue or emotional reactions from Marta to further explore her conflicting feelings about helping Harlan.
Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more vivid and immersive setting for the audience.
Explore the dynamic between Marta and Harlan further to deepen their relationship and motivations.
Consider adding more dialogue or interactions between Marta and Harlan to reveal more about their characters and the tension between them.
Continue to build suspense and intrigue by gradually revealing more about Harlan's plan and Marta's role in it.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. SECOND FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT

Marta climbs the creaky stairs.

HARLAN (V.O.)
You've gone from suspect number one
to an impossibility.

INT. HARLAN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Marta ducks in, ditching the robe and cap on the bed.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE SIDE YARD - NIGHT

Marta shimmies down the last of the trellis.
49.

HARLAN (V.O.)
Leave the way you came. And don't.
Be. Seen.

She hops to the ground, then FREEZES and almost shouts.

She's facing a darkened first floor window. Wide open. And
inside it, staring RIGHT AT her, is Greatnana.

Marta is frozen. Greatnana isn't moving either. Just has
her eyes locked on Marta.

After what seems like forever, Greatnana cocks her head
slightly and asks...

GREATNANA
Ransom? Are you back again already?

Marta breathes. And backs away. Then turns and goes,
quickly, down across the lawn.

HARLAN (V.O.)
Drive home. Sometime in the next few
days the police will question you.

INT. HARLAN THROMBEY'S STUDY - NIGHT

Back to Harlan and Marta.

MARTA
Harlan I can't lie I'll puke

HARLAN
Don't lie. Tell fragments of the
truth. In this exact order:

INT. LIBRARY - LATE AFTERNOON

Blanc catches his coin. Lieutenant Elliott and Trooper
Wagner look up at Marta, expectant. Just a brief moment has
passed since we left them.

MARTA
I took him upstairs. We played our
nightly game of GO, at some point he
knocked the board over and Joni came
up to check on us. Then I gave him
pain medication, he pulled his
shoulder last week, and left him in
his study. At midnight. Said bye to
Walt, went home.
50.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
What medication did he get?

Marta chooses her words very carefully:

MARTA
Since his injury I've been giving him
a 100 milligram IV push of Toradol, a
non narcotic analgesic. And to help
him sleep, 3 milligrams of morphine.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Anything unusual about his demeanor?

Uh oh. Marta keeps it solid. Superhuman effort.

MARTA
No.

The three men nod. Blanc holds Marta's gaze. She holds it
right back. Then he smiles.

BLANC
Well that sounds about right. Thank
you Ms. Cabrera.

INT. FOYER - MOMENTS LATER

Marta walks calmly out of the library. Then across the
foyer into a small door.

INT. HALF BATH

Marta walks in, closes the door behind her, locks it, turns
on both the taps, and PUKES into the toilet.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

HARLAN THROMBEY - his portrait, with an ambiguous look on
his face.

Marta. Soda water in hand at the reception that night.
Staring shell shocked at Harlan.

The reception for friends of the family. Tables of food.
Twenty or thirty people milling, in dark tasteful clothes,
with the whole Thrombey family.

A tearful Fran has cornered Marta, talks through sobs:
51.

FRAN
I don't think he killed himself I
don't. I don't. There's this
Hallmark movie Deadly By Surprise
where Danica McKellar plays a wife
who gets poisoned by her husband but
bit by bit so she thinks she's going
crazy and she ends up killing
herself, and my cousin who's the
receptionist at the medical examiners
office says that kind of thing can
totally happen, she says it's not
even like 3% as crazy as stuff she's
seen come through the -

As Fran's talking, Marta looks at the room of family
members, gathered around talking. She FLASHES BACK to:

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional

Summary Marta climbs to Harlan's bedroom, hides her disguise, but encounters Greatnana's watchful gaze. Harlan instructs Marta to tell a specific story to the police, which she does. Despite the stress, Marta endures the questioning and vomits afterward. A flashback reveals Fran's suspicions about Harlan's death.

Strengths

Tension-filled dialogue
Emotional depth
Intricate plot twists

Weaknesses

Possible confusion with multiple character revelations

General Critique

The scene transitions between different locations and timeframes quite abruptly, which can be confusing for the audience. It may benefit from smoother transitions to help maintain clarity.
The dialogue between Harlan and Marta in the study feels a bit forced and unnatural, particularly Marta's line 'Harlan I can't lie I'll puke'. It could be rephrased to sound more authentic.
The scene lacks a clear emotional throughline for Marta. While she is shown puking in the bathroom, her internal emotional struggle could be more effectively conveyed throughout the scene.
The flashback to the reception for friends of the family feels disjointed and could be better integrated into the narrative flow of the scene.
The dialogue between Marta and Lieutenant Elliott in the library feels a bit too on-the-nose, with Marta choosing her words very carefully. Adding more subtext and nuance to their interaction could enhance the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to have a more cohesive flow between the different locations and timeframes.
Refine the dialogue between Harlan and Marta in the study to make it more natural and reflective of their characters.
Focus on conveying Marta's internal emotional struggle more effectively throughout the scene.
Integrate the flashback to the reception more seamlessly into the narrative to enhance the overall storytelling.
Add subtext and nuance to the dialogue between Marta and Lieutenant Elliott to create a more engaging and layered interaction.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT OF PARTY - FLASHBACK - NIGHT

NIGHT OF THE PARTY

Harlan and Ransom go off together to have a private talk,
leaving the family having a heated conversation in the
living room.

RICHARD JONI
I don't like him no he's an
asshole but maybe an
asshole's what we needed Oh god. Yeah an asshole's
what Germany needed in
oh uh huh yeah there you go nineteen thirty ever

Marta stays on the outskirts. Fran, with a tray of
champagne flutes:

FRAN
Jesus. I'm gonna disappear until the
politics talk is done. You want some
champers?

MARTA
No I'm technically working. Thanks.

Marta checks her watch. Meanwhile Donna, who's had a few, is
tearing into the family fight.
52.

DONNA JONI
We're losing our way of life
and our culture, there's
millions of Mexicans coming
and this isn't Joni don't Oh god really - yeah it's
make this a race thing, I'd not a race thing yeah
say the same thing if they
were European immigrants - Oh yeah, if the Swiss were
we allow them in and they clogging in the streets -
think they own what's ours They're putting. Children.
In cages. I mean these are
camps.

RICHARD JONI
Nobody's saying that isn't
bad, but I blame the parents For wanting a better life
for their kids, isn't that
what America

RICHARD
For breaking the law. You're going
to hate hearing this but it's true,
America is for Americans. Marta, come
here.

Richard beckons her over, waving his cake plate. We've seen
this moment before, silent, during Richard's questioning.

LINDA
Oh god don't.

Marta is drawn over next to Richard, very uncomfortable.

RICHARD
No, Marta your family came from
Uruguay but you did it right, she did
it legally, I'm saying. You work
hard, and you'll earn your share from
the ground up just like dad and all
of us did - Marta I bet you agree
with me.

LINDA
Leave the poor girl alone.

RICHARD
No Marta do you agree, I'd like you
to answer - you wanna become an
American, there are legal ways to do
it, but if you break the law it
doesn't matter if you have a good
heart, you gotta face the
consequences.
53.

At that moment booming shouts begin behind the study door -
Harlan and Ransom going at it. Ransom bursts out.

Marta takes the opportunity to slip into the hallway, alone.
She breathes hard. Takes a champagne flute from the tray.
Drinks it in one gulp.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

END FLASHBACK. Marta in the same spot, Fran still talking
her ear off. The room sways. Marta sucks in breath, sways,
and braces herself against the wall.

FRAN
Oh my god Marta, what?

Meg runs over, rubs her back.

MEG
Whoa hey, c'mere, hey. What do you,
you want water? Breathe. Hey. Fran
have you still got your stash?

INT. DRAWING ROOM - NIGHT

Empty and dark, fireplace blazing. Above the fireplace is
an ornate mantle clock. Fran uses a key to unlock one of
several tiny drawers hidden in its face, takes out a joint
and hands it to Meg.

FRAN
Take em whenever you need em -
they're just drying out since you
gave me that Juul.

MEG
Thanks Fran.

Fran leaves them alone.

MARTA MEG
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Stop saying you're sorry
sorry Jesus

Meg lights the joint.

MARTA
God my heart won't stop, I can't -
it's just everything, no, thank you

she refuses the joint, then realizes where it came from.
54.

MARTA (cont'd)
That's where Fran keeps her stash?

MEG
Who ever opens a clock?
(then)
Walt! Walt!

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Intense

Summary Marta faces questions from Richard about her immigration status. Meanwhile, Harlan and Ransom clash over escalating tensions. Marta finds solace in a secret smoke session with Meg.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Revealing character interactions
High level of tension and suspense
Complex family dynamics

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be too on-the-nose
Flashbacks could be confusing for some viewers

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear focus and purpose, with multiple conversations happening simultaneously that can be confusing for the audience.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, with characters discussing sensitive topics like immigration and race in a way that comes off as preachy and heavy-handed.
The transition between the flashback and present time is abrupt and could be smoother to help the audience follow the timeline of events.
The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to engage the audience in the characters' struggles and conflicts.
There is a lack of visual storytelling and descriptive elements that could enhance the atmosphere and mood of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Streamline the conversations and focus on one central conflict or theme to make the scene more cohesive.
Work on making the dialogue more natural and realistic, avoiding heavy-handed discussions on sensitive topics.
Improve the transition between flashback and present time to help the audience follow the timeline of events more easily.
Add emotional depth to the characters by exploring their internal struggles and motivations in a more nuanced way.
Enhance the visual storytelling by incorporating descriptive elements that set the mood and atmosphere of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIVING ROOM

Walt yells at a non responsive, bored Greatnana.

WALT LINDA
DO YOU WANT DINNER, NANA? Walt she's fine, she ate the
DINNER? TO EAT? EAT? whole salmon spread already.

Meg grabs Walt, pulls him to Marta.

MEG
Did you tell Marta yet? What we all
talked about?

WALT MEG
No, not yet, is now a good Yes a very good time. Right
time? now.

WALT
Marta. We've talked it over, and
(wait)
Are you smoking grass?

MEG
No.

WALT
We talked it over and the whole
family, we want to take care of you.

MARTA
What does that mean?

MEG
We all think you deserve something.

WALT
Financially, we want to help you out.
You were never anything but good to
dad. Because of that, you can count
on us.

Walt embraces her, Meg puts a hand on her back.
55.

Over Walt's shoulder, Marta sees Harlan's portrait again.
Has its expression changed? It looks like it has a slight
conspiratorial smile. Marta breathes - maybe this is all
going to be ok.

WALT (cont'd)
I thought you should have been at the
funeral, by the way. I was outvoted.

EXT. SIDE PORCH - NIGHT

Later. Marta comes out to get some air. Exhales deeply.

And then jumps - she's not alone. Benoit Blanc sits in a
wicker chair in the dark, smoking a long thin cigar.

MARTA
Wah ha. Detective. You're still here?

BLANC
Mm.

Silence. Blanc smokes and stares at Marta. Marta shifts.

MARTA
Did you know Harlan?

BLANC
He knew my father who was a police
detective. Years ago.

MARTA
So that's why you're here?

BLANC
Here now here? No. I stayed hoping
to speak to you a little more.

MARTA
Uh?

BLANC
Something is afoot with this whole
affair. I know it, and I believe you
know it.

MARTA
So you're... going to keep digging.

BLANC
Harlan's detectives they dig, they
rifle and root, truffle pigs.
(MORE)
56.

BLANC (cont'd)
I anticipate the terminus of
gravity's rainbow.

MARTA
Gravity's Rainbow.

BLANC
It's a novel.

MARTA
I know. I haven't read it.

BLANC
Neither have I. Nobody has. But I
like the title. It describes the
path of a projectile, determined by
natural law. Voila, my method. I
observe the facts without biases of
the head or heart, I determine the
arc's path, stroll leisurely to its
terminus, and the truth falls at my
feet.
(beat)
The medical examiner was ready to
rule this a suicide, but Elliott
agreed to keep it pending for forty
eight hours. Tomorrow morning I
search the grounds and the house,
begin my investigation. I want you
to be by my side for it. My
confidant, my eyes and ears.

MARTA
What but - why me?

BLANC
I trust your kind heart. Also you
are the only one who had nothing to
gain from Harlan's death. So.
Watson.

Blank puts out his cigar, stands.

MARTA
You want my insight into this family?
None of them are murderers. That's
my insight.

BLANC
And yet. Be it cruel or comforting,
this machine unerringly arrives at
the truth. That's what it does.
57.

MARTA
Always?

He does a little bow.

BLANC
Tomorrow at eight.

Marta watches him go.

INT. CABRERA LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Marta gets home. Her mom is on the couch, zoning out in
front of the tv, still in a cleaning uniform. Without a
word Marta sits next to her. Stares at the TV.

Off her eyes, we FLASH BACK with her:

INT. HARLAN THROMBEY'S STUDY - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

HARLAN
I know I missed something... there's
going to be something I missed. But
I know you can beat it. Without
losing your soul you have to do what
you have to do to beat this, and win.

MARTA
I can't.

HARLAN
You can and you have to. For me.
Right now.

She's out the door and he shuts it.

Genres: Mystery, Drama
Tone: Intriguing, Suspenseful, Intense

Summary Walt and Meg offer financial support to Marta, while Detective Blanc investigates Harlan's death and seeks Marta's assistance.

Strengths

Engaging dialogue
Intriguing plot developments
Complex character dynamics

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly cryptic or verbose

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear focus and purpose, jumping between different conversations and interactions without a central theme or conflict.
The dialogue feels disjointed and lacks depth, with characters speaking in a casual and mundane manner that doesn't add much to the overall story.
The interaction between Walt, Meg, and Marta about financial support feels forced and lacks emotional depth or authenticity.
The introduction of Benoit Blanc in the scene feels abrupt and out of place, disrupting the flow of the conversation between the characters.
The transition from the living room to the side porch with Blanc is jarring and doesn't flow smoothly, making the scene feel disjointed.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Focus on a central conflict or theme for the scene to give it more depth and purpose.
Develop the dialogue to reveal more about the characters' motivations, emotions, and relationships, adding layers to the scene.
Consider restructuring the scene to have a more natural flow and progression of events, avoiding abrupt transitions between different locations and interactions.
Integrate Benoit Blanc's introduction more seamlessly into the scene, ensuring it aligns with the overall narrative and doesn't feel out of place.
Add more emotional depth and authenticity to the interaction between Walt, Meg, and Marta about financial support, making it more impactful and meaningful.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. OUTSIDE HARLAN'S ATTIC OFFICE DOOR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Marta stands frozen. Soft voices of Walt and Jacob float up
from downstairs. She turns back to the door.

Silence. Moments going by. Shit. Can she do this? Shit.

No. She turns and pushes back into the office -

INT. HARLAN THROMBEY'S STUDY - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

MARTA
Harlan I have to get you help -
58.

Harlan reclines on the couch in the middle of the room,
ornate dagger against his throat. Marta's eyes go wide.

HARLAN
Do what I say and everything's going
to be ok, Marta. I promise.

She makes a move to stop him and with one quick motion he
DRAWS THE DAGGER across his throat. Blood sprays.

She leaps back, hands to her mouth, spins and leaves the
room, closing the door behind her.

EXT. THIRD FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Breathing hard, silent crying. Then her breathing slows.
Her brain taking over. Resolve settling. The dice are
thrown. She wipes her eyes. Then bounds down the stairs,
out of frame.

MARTA (O.S.)
Walt, I'm leaving now.

INT. CABRERA LIVING ROOM

Back to Marta and her mom on the couch. She puts her hand
on Mom's knee.

MARTA
Everything's going to be ok. I
promise.

MOM
(of course)
I know.

They go back to watching tv. But Marta's mind is buzzing.

On her white sneaker, we see but she does not - one single
drop of blood.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE GUARD GATE - MORNING

The gate is open, Marta's car pulls up just inside it. The
small Guard house next to the gate, Blanc, Elliott and
Wagner outside it. Blanc waves to her.
59.

INT. GUARD HOUSE

Thrombey's security man, MR PROOFROC, guides them into the
cramped dusty space. Proofroc is old and salty. He shows
them old photos of the house, stuck to a steel fridge with
big brightly colored fruit magnets.

MR PROOFROC
Fifty years I worked this estate,
back when it was the Redfirns. Course
back then security meant making the
rounds with a 94, keeping your ears
open. Before all this modern
technology.

Nothing in the room is newer than 1988. An 8 inch CRT
monitor shows a phosphorescent live feed of the road outside
the gate, and a top loaded VHS VCR sits next to it.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
So what do you have from that night?

MR PROOFROC
Eh?

He squints, hard of hearing.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT TROOPER WAGNER
What do you - WHAT DO YOU
HAVE, FROM THAT NIGHT, WHAT WHAT DO YOU HAVE FROM THAT
DO YOU HAVE FROM THAT NIGHT? NIGHT?

Proofroc squints at Marta, who asks him quietly

MARTA
What do you have from that night?

MR PROOFROC
Well the video here, I saved the tape
from that night, usually I erase 'em
with the magnetic de-gauser, but I
thought better save that one. Cause,
security. That's the live feed
there.

Marta notices something with alarm - the video feed shows
the road outside, and at the top edge you can just barely
see the carved elephant that marks the gardener's utility
road. She realizes Harlan said
60.

HARLAN (V.O.)
...to avoid the security cameras,
pull off the road AFTER the carved
elephant.

Marta keeps a poker face, but.. shit.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
(to Proofroc)
Can we see CAN WE SEE THE TAPE? THE
TAPE? FOR THE NIGHT? TAPE!

MARTA MR PROOFROC
(quiet, to Proofroc)
They want to see the tape. Oh sure.

CLACK! The tape loads into the mechanical VCR. An
impossibly grainy, smeared night vision view of the road
outside the gate. Time stamp: 10:02pm.

TROOPER WAGNER
It's like a Japanese horror movie.

MR PROOFROC
(proud)
I record it SSLP, gets eight hours
per tape. Nine pm to five am.

BLANC MARTA
Can we - (to Proofroc)
(to Marta)
Can we scan forward?
Can we scan forward?

MR PROOFROC
Hold the play button down and press
the FF down halfway till you feel it
grind.

Wagner does, the machine makes horrible noises and the
picture frizzles and frazzles. Then stops and ejects.

MR PROOFROC (cont'd)
And hold the tape down or it'll
eject.

BLANC
Can your guys digitize it so we can
scan it properly?

TROOPER WAGNER
I'm sure we can.
61.

MARTA
I got it.

Marta grabs the tape from the VCR.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT BLANC
THANK YOU THANK YOU

MARTA MR PROOFROC
Thank you. You're welcome.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Intriguing

Summary Marta witnesses Harlan Thrombey's suicide and keeps it a secret. She retrieves the security tape from the night of his death, which shows Harlan instructing her to avoid the security cameras.

Strengths

Intense suspense
Emotional depth
Intriguing plot twists
Strong character development

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too complex for casual viewers
Requires close attention to detail to fully grasp the nuances

General Critique

The scene lacks clarity in terms of Marta's emotional state and decision-making process. It jumps from her frozen state to her resolve without fully exploring her internal conflict.
The transition from Marta witnessing Harlan's suicide to her interaction with Mr. Proofroc at the guard house feels abrupt and disjointed.
The dialogue between the characters, especially Mr. Proofroc, lacks depth and realism. The interactions feel forced and unnatural.
The visual descriptions could be more vivid and engaging to create a stronger sense of atmosphere and tension in the scene.
The pacing of the scene is inconsistent, with moments of tension followed by slower, less impactful moments.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Provide more insight into Marta's thought process and emotional turmoil after witnessing Harlan's suicide. Show her internal struggle more explicitly.
Consider restructuring the scene to create a smoother transition between the flashback of Harlan's suicide and Marta's interaction with Mr. Proofroc.
Work on developing more authentic and engaging dialogue for the characters, focusing on natural interactions and realistic responses.
Enhance the visual descriptions to paint a clearer picture of the setting and characters, adding depth to the scene.
Adjust the pacing of the scene to maintain a consistent level of tension and engagement throughout.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. WOODS - DAY

They all hack through the overgrown gardener's path.

TROOPER WAGNER
That wood elephant, it's a thing from
his book "The Ivory Blade."

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Amazing. Blanc the grounds are
lovely but you think what, someone
broke into the house? To kill
Harlan? Is that why we're out here?

BLANC
I think it's an unlikely but
fascinating possibility. And if they
did, there will be traces.

TROOPER WAGNER
I'll take that, thanks ma'am.

Marta hands Wagner the VHS tape. Then she discretely
pockets something she had held in her hand next to it - a
few of the bright fruit MAGNETS from Proofroc's fridge.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE SIDE YARD

The group hikes up out of the woods, towards the low wall
with a small pedestrian gate that leads to the east lawn.

Marta is out in front. During the following, she notices
something: The earth around and under the gate is soft and
bare. And clear as day: HER FOOTPRINTS from the other
night, the only ones from women's shoes. The same ones she
has on now. Her breath catches. SHIT.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Any luck with the black sheep,
whatshisname?
62.

TROOPER WAGNER
Ransom. No, but we have an address.
Ten Oak street.

BLANC
Ten oak. That's a pleasant thing to
say. Ten oak. Tenoak.

TROOPER WAGNER
Ugh this mud, my boots are going to
stink.

BLANC
Mud - has it rained the past week?
No - Nobody move! Freeze! Everyone!
These footprints must not be
disturbed!
(sees)
Marta!

Marta has already walked through the pedestrian gate and up
onto the lawn, stepping in her pre-existing prints. She
turns back, playing dumb.

MARTA
What?

BLANC
Don't - stop there, don't -

MARTA
I can't hear you, what?

She trots back to them through the gate, stepping into her
returning prints.

BLANC
No no no nodon't - don't step on the,
ok, alright. Aughhhhh ok.

MARTA
What?

Blanc sidesteps up to the gate, not stepping in the mud.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Alright, Wagner let's get the boys on
it, check the prints, tape off this
area, keep it clear.

The dogs come running down the lawn, barking at the men.
They tear through the gate, further messing up the mud.
63.

BLANC
Wehell. She-it. Dogs.

MARTA
Hey boys, easy. Hey. Hey.

She pets them and they quiet down.

BLANC
Best judge of character is a dog.
I've found that to be true.

The dogs start BARKING and bolt towards the house, where
Richard and Linda are pulling up in their lux SUV.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
They're doing the will reading at
ten, whole family will be here soon.

Elliott heads up towards the house. Blanc meanders up the
lawn, and Marta follows.

MARTA
I've never been to a will reading.

BLANC
You think it'll be like a game show.
No. Imagine a community theater
performance of a tax return.

They approach the side of the house. Blanc does a gentle,
meandering study of the layout.

Marta steals a look at the trellis she climbed.

Oh no. A piece of the white lattice trellis that broke off
when she was climbing - about eight inches long - lies in
the grass beneath it. Her eyes dart up - yup, there's the
broken spot. Shit.

BLANC (cont'd)
SWEET BEANS

Marta starts - did he spot it? No - he's come face to face
with Greatnana, standing stock still on the porch. She
stares at him like a bird.

BLANC (cont'd)
Good morning Mrs. Thrombey.

He approaches her, slowly. When his back is fully turned
Marta takes her shot and KICKS the piece of trellis under
some thick bushes at the base of the house.
64.

Blanc and Greatnana stare at each other. Blanc gets very
close to her, great sympathy in his eyes. Greatnana stares
back. It's almost like they're communicating. This goes on
for a little too long. Then Blanc breaks from the trance,
and turns to Marta.

BLANC (cont'd)
Do you think you could handle the
study?

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intriguing, Mysterious, Tense

Summary As Lieutenant Elliott, Trooper Wagner, Blanc, and Marta search the Thrombey estate woods, Marta's footprints from the night before are discovered. Blanc notices her attempts to cover her tracks, causing tension and suspicion. Marta hides a broken trellis under bushes, while Blanc and Greatnana exchange an intense stare. The scene builds suspense and mystery surrounding Marta's actions and Blanc's growing belief in her involvement in Harlan's death.

Strengths

Building tension and suspense
Introducing new clues and leads in the investigation
Revealing hidden motives and secrets

Weaknesses

Dialogue could be more engaging and impactful
Emotional impact could be stronger

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension, considering the gravity of the situation being investigated.
The dialogue feels a bit disjointed and lacks depth, with some lines coming across as unnecessary or forced.
There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the characters' emotions and motivations, particularly Marta's internal conflict and Blanc's investigative instincts.
The visual elements could be enhanced to create a more immersive and engaging atmosphere, such as focusing on the footprints and mud to build suspense.
The interaction between Blanc and Greatnana feels drawn out and could benefit from more meaningful dialogue or actions to convey their unspoken communication.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Introduce more suspense and tension by emphasizing the significance of the footprints and mud as potential clues in the investigation.
Refine the dialogue to be more impactful and revealing of the characters' thoughts and emotions, especially regarding Marta's internal struggle and Blanc's investigative insights.
Explore the relationship between Marta and Blanc further, highlighting their dynamic and the trust that is developing between them.
Consider adding more visual cues and details to enhance the scene's atmosphere and engage the audience, such as focusing on Marta's reaction to the broken trellis piece.
Condense the interaction between Blanc and Greatnana to maintain the pacing of the scene and ensure that each moment contributes meaningfully to the overall narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. HARLAN THROMBEY'S STUDY

The blood is now only a subtle dark stain, but other than
that the room has been left intact from the night of the
party. Marta and Wagner observe as Blanc paces the room.

BLANC
(to Marta)
Where's your medical bag?

MARTA
I... don't know - I left it here, I
always leave it with Harlan at night.

TROOPER WAGNER
They must have taken it in as
evidence. I'll check on it.

Blanc picks up the GO board and sets it on the table.
Examines its grid idly.

BLANC
How'd the GO board get knocked over?

MARTA
We were just goofing around.
(beat)
What are you thinking?

Blanc sighs gently, turns the baseball over in his hands.
Looks like this was a bust.

BLANC
I'm thinking about my cat. And the
2:20 train back to the city.

Blanc tips the GO board over, and it lands on the carpet
with a nearly inaudible WHOMPH. He stares at it.

But his concentration is broken by sharp barking outside.
They go to the tiny window and look out.
65.

A DASHING MAN in his early 30s climbs out of a vintage
Porsche. The dogs go NUTS, biting at his pant legs.

BLANC (cont'd)
Let me guess.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE FRONT DRIVE

The man kicks off the dogs and limps toward the house,
cursing. Lieutenant Elliott and Office Wagner step out onto
the porch.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Hugh Drysdale?

RANSOM
Ransom. Call me Ransom, my middle
name. The help call me Hugh.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
I'm Lieutenant Elliott, this is
officer Wagner, we'd like to ask you
a few questions about the night of

RANSOM
Uh huh.

He blows past them and into the house.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intriguing, Tense

Summary In the study, Blanc questions Marta about her medical bag and the overturned GO board. As he ponders, barking dogs outside announce the arrival of Hugh Drysdale (Ransom), who limps into the house uninvited.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Intriguing character dynamics
Building suspense

Weaknesses

Limited emotional depth
Some predictable elements

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of direction or purpose, with Blanc seemingly aimlessly pacing the room and examining objects without a clear objective.
The dialogue between Blanc, Marta, and Wagner feels disjointed and lacks depth, failing to engage the audience or move the story forward.
Blanc's mention of his cat and the train back to the city feels out of place and detracts from the tension and mystery of the scene.
The introduction of Ransom at the end of the scene feels abrupt and disconnected from the previous interactions, leaving the audience confused about the direction of the narrative.
The transition from Blanc's musings to the arrival of Ransom is jarring and disrupts the flow of the scene, making it feel disjointed and lacking in cohesion.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Provide Blanc with a clear objective or goal in the scene to drive the narrative forward and create a sense of purpose.
Revise the dialogue to be more engaging, meaningful, and reflective of the characters' motivations and emotions.
Consider removing the irrelevant mention of Blanc's cat and the train, as it detracts from the tension and mystery of the scene.
Integrate Ransom's arrival more smoothly into the scene by establishing a clearer connection to the previous interactions and building anticipation for his entrance.
Work on creating a smoother transition between Blanc's activities in the study and the introduction of Ransom to maintain the coherence and flow of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIVING ROOM

Walt, Donna and Jacob (nose in his phone) sit around the
room. Linda and Richard stand, on their phones. Ransom
breezes in, bumping Donna who YELPS, startled.

Elliott and Wagner follow.

TROOPER WAGNER
Sir excuse me, we are officers of the
law.

RANSOM
You gonna run me in? I don't feel
like talking. I'm distraught.

Ransom disappears into the kitchen, comes out eating a
sleeve of pinwheel cookies.

Blanc and Marta slip in. Elliott nods to Blanc.
66.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Blanc, anything you need to ask him?

RANSOM
The hell anyway is this arrangement?

BLANC
Mr. Drysdale

Ransom sizes up Blanc with a grin.

RANSOM
CSI KFC?

Ransom grabs Fran the housekeeper's sleeve as she walks by.

RANSOM (cont'd)
Hey Frannie can you get me a glass of
cold milk?

Meg and Joni have just entered, and Meg heard this.

MEG
Hey asshole. Not her name, not her
job.

Fran walks off with a scorching look at Ransom.

RANSOM
Meg. How's your LUG degree coming?

MEG JONI
Trust fund prick. Alright. Guys.

ALAN STEVENS, the family's attorney, knocks and enters with
an assistant, SALLY, who juggles several attache cases.

ALAN
Hey everyone. Hey. I'm just going
to set up in the other room, be ready
in ten minutes.

They go off to the library, leaving the family all together
in tense silence.

WALT
Funny Ransom, you skipped the funeral
but you're early for the will
reading.

JONI
Ok, people grieve in different ways,
let's not
67.

WALT
(to Ransom)
It's funny you're here at all. Why
are you even bothering, that's what I
want to know.

RICHARD
What's that supposed to mean?

WALT
He knows what it means.

RANSOM
Look at you Walt, you're so excited
about this.

LINDA
Walt, what?

WALT
Jacob was in that bathroom the night
of the party.

JONI
Is that where you were all night?

RICHARD
The hell were you doing in the
bathroom all night?

JACOB
Nothing.

MEG
Swatting Syrian refugees.

JACOB
No.

MEG
Alt right troll.

WALT
I don't know what any of that means

RICHARD
It means your son's a little creep.

WALT
Oh MY son's a creep?

JONI
Guys! Walt he was in the bathroom...
68.

WALT
He was in the bathroom

RICHARD
Joylessly masturbating to pictures of
dead deer.

WALT
Ok you wanna go?

They go at each other and do some half-hearted slap-fighting
before Linda and Joni break them apart. Ransom's loving
this.

RANSOM
We gotta do this more often.

LINDA
Alright! Enough. Jacob, we get
where this is going. The bathroom's
next to Harlan's office, where he had
the big fight with Ransom. You heard
something. Spill it.

JACOB
I just heard two things.

INT. HALF BATH - NIGHT OF PARTY - FLASHBACK

Jacob on the toilet, hearing non distinct yelling through a
vent high in the wall. But two words poke through:

HARLAN (O.S.)
...my will!

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Comedy
Tone: Tense, Sarcastic, Confrontational

Summary In a tense family gathering, uninvited Ransom arrives, causing chaos when he reveals Jacob overheard Harlan and Ransom discussing the will while hiding in the bathroom. Walt and Richard confront Jacob, while Linda and Joni try to calm the situation. Alan Stevens, the family attorney, then arrives to prepare for the will reading, leaving the family in anticipation.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Tense family dynamics
Mystery elements

Weaknesses

Some cliched family drama tropes

General Critique

The scene lacks focus and feels cluttered with too many characters and interactions happening simultaneously.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural at times, with characters making random remarks that don't add much to the scene.
There is a lack of clear direction or purpose in the scene, making it difficult for the audience to follow the unfolding events.
The tension and conflict between the characters are not effectively built up, resulting in a lackluster and unengaging interaction.
The scene could benefit from more concise and impactful dialogue that drives the plot forward and reveals character dynamics.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider streamlining the scene by focusing on a specific conflict or interaction between a smaller group of characters.
Work on making the dialogue more natural and purposeful, with each line contributing to character development or plot progression.
Create a clear objective or goal for the scene to give it a sense of direction and purpose.
Build up the tension and conflict between the characters gradually to create a more engaging and impactful interaction.
Consider revising the scene to have a more focused and cohesive structure that enhances the overall storytelling.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIVING ROOM

JACOB
And then there was more shouting, but
I also heard Ransom say "I'm warning
you."

Walt raises his arms, triumphant.

LINDA
Ransom? What's this mean?

He just eats cookies, silent.
69.

WALT
It means dad finally came to his
senses and cut this worthless lazy
brat out of the will.
(to Ransom)
And you better sell your little
Porsche and you better give your
notice at that country club and kick
whatever fashion drugs you're on
cause if you think after the bridges
you've burned, the shit you've said
and what you've put this family
through for the past ten years that
any of us are going to support you,
are going to give you like dad used
to say a single red dime you're nuts.

Ransom looks around the room. Cold faces.

RICHARD
Son.

RANSOM
(mock gravity)
Father?

RICHARD
Did Harlan tell you he was cutting
you out of the will?

RANSOM
Yes.

RICHARD
Then he's done what we weren't strong
enough to do - this might finally
make you grow up.

Ransom is really slapped by this but he doesn't let it show.

LINDA
I think it might be the best thing
that could happen to you.

RANSOM
Thanks - my mother, folks.

JONI
It won't be easy for you but it'll be
good. Most good things aren't easy.
70.

RANSOM MEG
Up your ass Joni, you've got
your teeth bit into this Oh 'up your ass' very nice
family tit so hard you homophobic privileged
little vampire

RANSOM
(going down the line)
Up your ass, up your ass, up your
ass, up your ass

And now everyone is shouting at each other.

Blanc has heard enough. He sets the baseball down on a side
table, and drifts out. Marta follows him.

EXT. FRONT PORCH

Blanc breathes in the air. Marta joins him. From inside
the house, the shouting continues.

MARTA
What was that about will readings
being boring?

BLANC
Exception that proves the rule.

Fran bursts out of the living room, muttering

FRAN
Asshole.

She storms off around the house. A beat of thought. Then:

BLANC
I'm warning you. Ransom said. I'm
warning you.

One of the dogs bounds up the steps to Blanc.

MARTA
You heard Ransom in there, it's the
kind of thing he says. Are you still
going to catch that 2:20?

When Blanc goes to pet him, the dog drops something to his
feet with a clatter. Marta freezes.
71.

MARTA (cont'd)
What's he got there? Hey boy. You
find a stick? He's always bringing
junk into the house -

It's the piece of broken trellis. Blanc picks it up,
examines it, and suddenly his eyes go sharp.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE SIDE YARD

Holding the piece up as he studies the trellis that runs up
the side of the house. Marta runs up beside him.

BLANC
This looks like a relatively fresh
break - yes. Right there.

He's spotted the broken spot on the trellis. Just up from
it, what looks like a boarded window.

BLANC (cont'd)
Wait - that doesn't make sense,
where's that window?

INT. LIVING ROOM

The whole family in a screaming match, but Blanc and Marta
walk through and up the stairs. Three people notice:
Elliott and Wagner (who follow) and Ransom (who doesn't.)

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Confrontational, Dramatic, Sarcastic

Summary Amidst the escalating argument sparked by Harlan's decision to remove Ransom from his will, detective Blanc and Marta uncover a curious clue—a broken trellis piece and a boarded window. While the family clash intensifies, Blanc and Marta quietly embark on their investigation, leaving the unresolved conflict simmering.

Strengths

Sharp dialogue
Intense conflict
Revealing character dynamics

Weaknesses

Some characters' reactions could be further developed

General Critique

The scene starts off with a lot of tension and conflict between the family members, which is engaging for the audience. However, the dialogue becomes a bit repetitive with the 'up your ass' exchange, losing some of its impact.
The transition from the chaotic family argument to Blanc and Marta stepping out onto the front porch feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother to maintain the flow of the scene.
The interaction between Blanc and Marta on the front porch is a nice moment of brevity and humor amidst the chaos, but it could be further developed to add depth to their relationship.
The discovery of the broken trellis piece by the dog and Blanc's realization about the boarded window is a great setup for intrigue and mystery, but it could be enhanced by adding more suspense and tension.
The shift from the intense family argument to Blanc and Marta walking through and up the stairs is a bit sudden and could benefit from a smoother transition to maintain the pacing of the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more variety to the dialogue exchange between the family members to keep it engaging and impactful.
Work on the transition between the chaotic family argument and Blanc and Marta stepping out onto the front porch to create a more seamless flow.
Develop the interaction between Blanc and Marta on the front porch to deepen their relationship and add layers to their characters.
Enhance the suspense and tension surrounding the discovery of the broken trellis piece and Blanc's realization about the boarded window to keep the audience intrigued.
Smooth out the shift from the intense family argument to Blanc and Marta walking through and up the stairs to maintain the pacing and continuity of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. THIRD FLOOR LANDING

Blanc looks down the "dead end" hallway. Marta joins him,
out of breath.

BLANC
Show me, but don't step on the
carpet.

It's a runner rug, and Marta delicately steps on the wood
siding as she goes to the wall with the painting. And swings
it open, revealing the window.

TROOPER WAGNER
It's the trick window! From "A Kill
For All Seasons!"

Elliott and Wagner at the top of the stairs, and Blanc
motions them not to approach.
72.

BLANC
Off the carpet!

He drops down to his knees, removes a loupe from his jacket,
and holds it in his eye. Then, his face inches from the
carpet, he scans it. All the way to the window. Then
stops.

BLANC (cont'd)
Traces of dried mud. I suspect they
go the length of the hallway.

MARTA
Footprints?

BLANC
No, just traces.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Depending on when it was last
cleaned, it could be from anytime

BLANC
But that would not explain this.

He motions to the base of the window sill - obvious scuffs
of dried mud. Marta winces.

Blanc tosses the piece of trellis to Elliott.

BLANC (cont'd)
Analyze this mud. It will match these
traces, and you will find similar
samples leading up the trellis on the
side of the house.
(beat)
On the night of the party, somebody
who did not want to be heard climbing
the steps went to a great deal of
trouble to break into Harlan
Thrombey's rooms. I think I'll miss
that train after all.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Intriguing

Summary Blanc and Marta uncover evidence of a break-in on the third floor landing, suggesting foul play in Harlan Thrombey's death.

Strengths

Tense atmosphere
Engaging dialogue
Intriguing mystery

Weaknesses

Lack of significant character development
Limited emotional impact

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency or tension considering the gravity of the situation being investigated.
The dialogue feels a bit expository and lacks depth or emotional resonance.
There is a missed opportunity to delve into the characters' emotions or reactions to the discovery of the hidden window.
The interaction between Blanc and Marta could be more dynamic and engaging to hold the audience's interest.
The visual elements of the scene could be enhanced to create a more visually compelling and atmospheric setting.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more suspense and tension to the scene by building up the mystery surrounding the hidden window and dried mud traces.
Enhance the dialogue to reveal more about the characters' motivations, fears, or suspicions, adding depth to their interactions.
Explore the emotional impact of the discovery on Blanc and Marta, allowing their reactions to drive the scene forward.
Introduce more visual cues or details to create a visually engaging and immersive setting for the audience.
Consider incorporating subtle character dynamics or conflicts to add layers to the scene and keep the audience engaged.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIBRARY - MINUTES LATER

The whole family assembled. Marta stands in the back, with
Blanc, Elliott and Trooper Wagner.

Alan Stevens, Harlan's attorney, sits at a table with papers
in front of him, assistant Sally beside him.
73.

ALAN
Well. Thank you all for getting
together like this, it isn't legally
necessary but I thought because
you're all in town and some of you
are leaving soon, it would be best -

BLANC
Excuse me Mr. Stevens. As to that,
ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to
gently request you all remain in town
until the investigation is completed.
Shouldn't be more than two days.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
He's gently requesting, I'm ordering.
Thank you.

Nobody likes this.

LINDA
What?

JONI
Can we ask why? Has something
changed?

BLANC
No.

JONI
No it hasn't changed or no we can't
ask?

BLANC
Mr. Stevens, please continue.

ALAN
Right. Well the other reason I
thought this gathering would be, uh,
beneficial is that as I told Walt,
Harlan altered his will one week ago.
He sealed it and asked me not to
submit it to the courts for probate
until after his death. So in case
there's any confusion about anything
we're all together, we can talk. I
can't imagine any of it will be that
complicated, Harlan's assets included
um

SALLY
...the house
74.

ALAN
the house which he owned outright, um

SALLY
sixty million

ALAN
right in various cash accounts and
investments, yes and of course the
real assets are sole ownership of um

SALLY
Blood Like Wine

ALAN
Blood Like Wine publishing, his
publishing company. Ok.

Walt's wife puts her hand on his knee. He squeezes it,
smiled tightly.

ALAN (cont'd)
Um, he did write up a statement when
he made the recent changes, he wanted
it read first, so:
(reads)
"Some of you may be surprised by the
choice I've made here. No pleasure
was taken in the exclusion, and its
purpose was not to sow greater
discord in the family, quite the
opposite. Please accept it with
grace and without bitterness. But do
accept it. It's for the best."

Gently condescending eyes shift to Ransom. Linda sees this,
puts her hand on her son's hand, and he immediately gets up
and moves to a chair in the corner.

Alan's assistant hands him an envelope and he removes a
single sheet of paper with one short typed paragraph.

ALAN (cont'd)
Ok. So - oh wow, yeah, not complex
at all. This'll be quick. "I Harlan
Thrombey, being of sound mind and
body, yada yada, my assets both
liquid and otherwise, I leave in
their entirety to Marta Cabrera. My
entire ownership of Blood Like Wine
publishing I leave in its entirety to
Marta Cabrera.
(MORE)
75.

ALAN (cont'd)
The copyright of its catalog
likewise I leave in its entirety to
Marta Cabrera.

The air around Marta's head goes away. The room spins
She's not sure what's happening. Blanc is looking at her.
The whole family is looking at her.

Walt bursts out of his chair and grabs the will

WALT
No.

LINDA
No.

WALT
No. What?
(beat)
That can't be - that can't be right

RICHARD WALT
What the genuine shit That can't be right it's
right

ALAN
It's right

Donna begins to hyperventilate. She puts her head between
her knees, breathes deep.

LINDA
No no no no Alan this can't be legal,
there are, we're his family

WALT RICHARD
We're his family, Alan he
obviously wasn't,
something - I don't know
what but something wasn't Are there safeguards against
right here this?

And from the back of the room, slowly rising above the din
of confusion and cursing, slowly drawing even Marta's deer
in the headlights attention... Ransom. LAUGHING. Loud and
weirdly sincerely, tears down his cheeks, laughing his head
off.

JONI
Alan there's a mistake
76.

MEG JONI
Mom if it's what granddad No this is a mistake, this
wanted is ours.

LINDA
Alan take that piece of paper and
shove it up your ass and get out.
And you cops, out!

They don't but Ransom slips out, his child-like laughter
trailing after him.

RICHARD
Linda -

LINDA
No, we need to talk and we need to
fight this thing and we're not going
anywhere. GET OUT! We're the
Thrombeys goddammit! This is still
our house!

A beat of silence. Then all eyes go to Alan. Who looks
down at the will. His assistant Sally points helpfully.

ALAN
Sorry, there's, uh. "Likewise the
house at two Deerborn Drive and all
belongings therein I leave to Marta
Cabrera.

Linda goes for Marta.

LINDA
You little bitch. Did you know about
this? What did you do to him to make
this happen, were you two what were
you boinking my father?

Marta recoils, stumbles back.

MEG
'Boinking?'

RICHARD
Linda!

JACOB WALT
Anchor baby. Marta! Jacob! And Linda -
please!
77.

JONI
Linda please - Marta, you need to
tell us though,

WALT JONI
Yes Marta, did dad discuss You need to tell us
this with you? everything you know about
this and we need to talk
about this,

WALT RICHARD
This isn't what dad wanted, Jesus don't mob the girl,
this isn't fair but we can let's talk about this
work this out

The whole family is coming towards her like zombies. Blanc
takes her by the arm and steers her towards the door.

BLANC
I think heads have to cool a little,
and in the meanwhile I'd maybe run.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Confrontational, Emotional

Summary Upon reading Harlan Thrombey's will, the Thrombey family is shocked to discover that Marta Cabrera has inherited everything. Outrage ensues, leading to an altercation between Linda Thrombey and Marta Cabrera. Detective Blanc intervenes to calm the situation and escorts Marta out of the room.

Strengths

Intense emotional conflict
Revealing character dynamics
Engaging dialogue

Weaknesses

Some repetitive reactions from family members

General Critique

The scene is well-structured with a clear setup of the family gathering to discuss Harlan's will, leading to a dramatic revelation of Marta being the sole beneficiary.
The tension and conflict within the family are effectively portrayed, especially with the reactions of Walt, Linda, and Ransom to the will reading.
The dialogue is realistic and captures the emotional turmoil of the characters, particularly Linda's outburst towards Marta and the ensuing chaos.
The introduction of Ransom's unexpected laughter adds an intriguing twist to the scene, creating a sense of mystery and foreshadowing his involvement.
Blanc's intervention to guide Marta out of the escalating situation adds a sense of control amidst the chaos.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal thoughts or reactions from Marta to showcase her emotional turmoil and confusion as the will is read.
Explore deeper into the dynamics between the family members during the will reading to highlight their individual motivations and conflicts.
Provide more context or hints about Marta's relationship with Harlan to build up the suspense and intrigue surrounding her sudden inheritance.
Enhance the physical actions and movements of the characters to emphasize the escalating tension and chaos in the room.
Consider incorporating subtle clues or hints that foreshadow Ransom's true intentions earlier in the scene to build anticipation for the reveal.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE FRONT DRIVE

Marta stumbles out of the house in a daze. Behind her, the
entirety of the family floods out after her, shouting
reassurances and questions and accusations and a general din
of confusion.

MARTA
I - I have no idea why he - I just
need to think - I'll call you or have
him call me or do something I don't
know

She gets in her car and slams the door, and it's instantly
like A Hard Day's Night - the family gathered around trying
to talk through the window and rapping to get her attention.

Marta keys the ignition - chug chug chug. Nothing. Oh god,
not now - chug chug chug. It won't turn over.

Richard opens the door, she pulls it closed again and locks
it, this is like a horror movie. Blanc is trying to get the
family to back off but no dice.

Marta puts her head in her hands, all of it swirling and
echoing and horrifying, she has no idea what to do.

HONK!
78.

She turns - a honking car pulls up right beside her and
through the family crowd she sees Ransom in his Porsche,
waving "get in." With no other options she pushes out of
her car and through the family and JUMPS IN with him.

As he GUNS IT and careens out of the driveway he shouts back
at the family with a wave

RANSOM
I think this could be the best thing
to happen to all of you!

And they're gone. The family keeps shouting at each other.

Blanc watches the Porsche recede, his expression unreadable.
DING! His phone buzzing. He checks it. His expression
darkens.

INT. RANSOM'S PORSCHE

Tearing down the private road, away from the house. He's
still laughing, she's still shell shocked. Slowly, his
laughter eases to a stop. A moment of silence.

RANSOM
Ok seriously though, what the hell?

She shakes her head, looks at him. What the hell indeed.

INT. LINDA'S ROOM

Linda stands in her childhood room, by the window in the
ebbing light. From a shelf she pulls a stack of PINK
NOTECARDS, identical to the one Harlan showed Richard in his
office. But these are covered in writing, sweet little
notes, a father to his daughter.

She looks up. Walt in the doorway. She wipes her eyes,
indicates the notes.

LINDA
I was just thinking about Dad's
games. This all feels like one, it
feels like something he'd write, not
do. I keep waiting for a big reveal,
where it all makes sense. How nice
would that be?

Her little brother hugs her. His eyes tired and dark.
79.

INT. SMALL STUDY

Joni alone, head in her hands, crying.

BLANC
You were very much counting on that
inheritance weren't you?

Blanc standing in the doorway.

JONI
What did you say?

BLANC
I don't think anyone in the family
would do anything truly dark unless
they were in a place of desperation.
Now I know that Harlan cut you off,
money-wise, but that would not make
you desperate. You have your
business, you have your image, your
Flam.

JONI
Uh huh.

BLANC
But you see, I ordered some of your
featured product. The snail jelly
moisturizer, tried it out. I have
delicate skin, you can probably tell,
and I got a hell of a rash. So I
googled two words: Flam and rash.
And what did I find? Beauty product
message boards, pages and pages of
complaints, warnings, rashes. So I
did a little more digging. Flam has
been broke for years. You've kept
your lifestyle up and the company
afloat with the money you were
skimming from Harlan. And you would
have been fine with the inheritance.
But now it's all going to come
crashing down.

Joni's face has become hard and cold.

JONI
And what's your goddamn point?

BLANC
Just fair warning. When good people
get desperate, the knives come out.
(MORE)
80.

BLANC (cont'd)
I hope you haven't, and I pray you
won't, do anything rash.

He leaves her alone in the dimming evening light.

EXT. ROADSIDE FAMILY RESTAURANT - LATER

The Porsche parked out front.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional

Summary Marta flees the Thrombey estate with Ransom, leaving behind a shattered family. Linda discovers her father's notes, while Joni faces Blanc's accusations of financial deception, leaving her fate uncertain.

Strengths

Intense family dynamics
Revealing character moments
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some dialogue could be more impactful

General Critique

The scene starts with a chaotic and tense atmosphere, which is effective in conveying Marta's state of mind and the family's reactions.
The use of the car not starting adds to the tension and sense of urgency in the scene.
The interaction between Marta and the family members through the car window creates a sense of claustrophobia and horror, enhancing the emotional impact.
Ransom's sudden appearance and offer to drive Marta away adds an unexpected twist to the scene, keeping the audience engaged.
Blanc's unreadable expression and the buzzing phone hint at further developments and mysteries, adding depth to the narrative.
The transition to Ransom's Porsche and the subsequent conversation between him and Marta provide a moment of reflection and introspection amidst the chaos.
The emotional moment between Linda and Walt in her childhood room adds a layer of vulnerability and nostalgia to the scene.
Blanc's confrontation with Joni in the small study reveals crucial information about her financial situation and sets up potential conflicts for the future.
The scene at the roadside family restaurant sets the stage for further developments and confrontations, leaving the audience intrigued.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more internal monologue or dialogue from Marta to provide insight into her thoughts and emotions during the chaotic situation.
Explore the dynamics between the family members in more depth to showcase their individual reactions and motivations.
Enhance the suspense by building up to Ransom's sudden appearance and offer to drive Marta away, creating a more dramatic moment.
Further develop Blanc's character and his investigative skills to add complexity to his interactions with the family members.
Consider incorporating visual cues or symbolism to enhance the themes of deception, desperation, and family dynamics in the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. RESTAURANT - CORNER BOOTH

Tucked into a dark corner, Marta is miserable. Ransom is
bemused, but regards her closely.

They sit in silence. A waitress sets a sausage plate down.

RANSOM
(to the waitress)
Could we get an extra bowl please?
(to Marta)
You look like you're gonna pass out.
Have you eaten all day? Eat.

She joylessly shovels food in her mouth, starving.

MARTA
This is a nightmare.

RANSOM
Uh huh. So why.

MARTA
Why

RANSOM
Why. Did he leave you everything.

MARTA
Are you asking if we were screwing?

RANSOM
(angry, no)
Hey.
(then)
I know my granddad. That wasn't him.
But this is everything, there must
have been a bigger why and you know
it.
81.

MARTA
Well Ransom how about it had more to
do with you guys than with me.

RANSOM
(agrees)
Yeah.
(beat)
Yeah that's the only thing that makes
sense. In which case this was a
really shitty thing for him to do to
you.

Marta is unexpectedly effected by this. The waitress
breezes by, sets an empty bowl on the table.

MARTA
Did he tell you anything?

RANSOM
Just I wasn't getting a cent.

MARTA RANSOM
He wanted you to build
something from the ground something from the ground
up, like your parents up, like my parents

RANSOM (cont'd)
yeah. My mom built her business from
the ground up with a million dollar
loan from granddad. My dad owns none
of it, and mom made him sign a
prenup. He lives in fear.
I know that's what grandad wanted to
protect me from by doing this, and I
know I shouldn't say this out loud
but when he told me, Jesus Christ I
coulda killed him.
(beat)
After I left the party, though. I
was driving fast, nowhere, just in
the night. And I got this weird...
clarity. That from here on I was
going to have to do for myself. And
that felt... good. The old bastard.
(beat)
Marta I know three things. One: I
know he didn't commit suicide.

MARTA
What makes you think that
82.

RANSOM
I don't think it. I know it. Cause
I knew my granddad. So you're not
going to bullshit me. Because two:
I know lying makes you puke. Cause
of that mafia game last fourth of
July.

Marta sinks back, suddenly nervous.

RANSOM (cont'd)
And three. I know that you just ate
a full plate of sausage and baked
beans.

She looks down at her empty plate. Oh no. He pushes the
large empty bowl in front of her.

RANSOM (cont'd)
So look me in the eye. And tell me
what really happened to my granddad.

Her lip quivers. She looks like she might attempt it. But
then tears drop from her eyes.

MARTA
You bastard. Please don't turn me in.

Ransom pull the bowl away, and puts his hand on hers.

RANSOM
Marta. Tell me everything.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE - EVENING

Dusk settles heavy. Warm light from the windows.

WALT (O.S.)
There have to be options here.

ALAN (O.S.)
No. I don't know how many times I
can repeat the same two simple pieces
of information.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful

Summary In a shadowy restaurant booth, Ransom grills Marta, suspecting her of foul play in his grandfather's death. Pressure mounts as he accuses her of lying and scrutinizes her reactions. Marta's resolve shatters, and she pleads with Ransom not to expose her. Ransom, torn between suspicion and empathy, offers comfort and urges her to reveal the truth.

Strengths

Complex character dynamics
Revealing dialogue
High emotional impact

Weaknesses

Some cliched moments
Slightly predictable revelations

General Critique

The scene lacks clarity in terms of the characters' motivations and emotions. It's not clear why Ransom is suddenly sympathetic towards Marta after being confrontational in previous scenes.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural at times, especially when Ransom abruptly shifts from anger to empathy towards Marta.
There is a lack of subtlety in the way the characters express their emotions and intentions, making the scene feel melodramatic.
The transition from Ransom's anger to empathy towards Marta feels rushed and not well-developed, leading to a lack of believability in their interaction.
The emotional beats in the scene could be more nuanced and layered to create a more impactful and authentic exchange between Ransom and Marta.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Provide more context and background information to explain Ransom's sudden change in attitude towards Marta.
Refine the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of the characters' personalities and motivations.
Focus on building the emotional tension and complexity between Ransom and Marta to create a more engaging and believable interaction.
Consider adding subtle cues and gestures to convey the characters' emotions and intentions without relying solely on dialogue.
Work on developing the emotional arc of the scene to ensure a more gradual and realistic shift in the dynamics between Ransom and Marta.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIVING ROOM - EVENING

Lit by a fire in the fireplace, the whole family pacing
around, Alan the lawyer looking very tired seated at a table
in the center of the room.
83.

ALAN
If Harlan was of sound mind when he
made the changes, and we've all
confirmed he was

RICHARD LINDA
Would a sound person do The very action speaks to
this! Sound how? unsoundness!

ALAN
not legally no, you not liking what
they did does not speak to
testamentary capacity.

JACOB
What about undue influence?

WALT
Yes! Undue influence!

ALAN
(weary)
Did you just google that?

WALT
If Marta was manipulating dad
somehow, if we found out that she had

LINDA WALT
Gotten her hooks into him Somehow or something

ALAN
You need a strong case for that.
You've got nothing. "She endeared
herself to him through hard work and
good humor" won't cut the salami.

JONI
What about the slayer rule?

All eyes turn to her. Her face is lit by her phone.

JONI (cont'd)
I did just google that.

ALAN
The slayer rule obviously does not
apply here.

RICHARD
What the hell is the slayer rule?
84.

JONI
It's if someone is convicted of
killing the person they can't get
their inheritance.

ALAN
Not even convicted, even if they're
held responsible for their death in
civil court

WALT ALAN
Like OJ Like OJ, yes. But Harlan
committed suicide.

All eyes turn to Blanc, who this whole time has been sitting
in a chair by the fire, lost in thought.

JONI
Detective Blank. You said that the
investigation is continuing. You
made a point of that. Do you suspect
foul play?

BLANC
Mister Blanc. If you please.
(beat)
There is much that is still unclear.
But yes. I suspect foul play.

The eruption you would expect breaks out.

RICHARD
Meaning Marta?

BLANC
I have eliminated no suspects.

RICHARD
Ok you're full of shit, I don't trust
this guy with his tan suit, and Alan
god bless you you're useless.

ALAN
Thank you.

Alan takes that as an excuse to leave.

RICHARD
There's one answer to this: she can
renounce the inheritance.
85.

WALT LINDA
She knows it's what she
should do, it's the right We've gotta make her do the
thing to do. right thing.

Meg rounds on her mom, speaks quietly, in tears.

MEG
Mom. If Granddad wanted Marta to
have everything, that's what he
wanted.

JONI
No, this was not him. He loved us,
he wanted us taken care of. He
wanted you to have an education.
Meg. You think I can pay for your
school?

This leaves Meg shaken.

Genres: Mystery, Drama
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Confrontational

Summary The family grapples with the implications of Harlan's revised will, with Alan clarifying legal aspects. Joni questions the validity, while Blanc suggests foul play, leading to suspicion and conflict among the family members. Meg remains emotionally invested in the inheritance.

Strengths

Intense conflict
Emotional depth
Sharp dialogue

Weaknesses

Some characters lack depth in this scene

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear focus and direction, with multiple characters speaking over each other and introducing various legal terms without proper context.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, with characters abruptly shifting from one topic to another without proper transitions.
There is a lack of emotional depth and connection between the characters, making it difficult for the audience to empathize or engage with their conflicts.
Blanc's revelation about suspecting foul play is not effectively built up or supported by the preceding dialogue and actions of the characters.
The scene feels disjointed and chaotic, with too many characters vying for attention and no clear resolution or progression in the plot.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Streamline the dialogue to focus on key points and conflicts, allowing each character to have a clear purpose and contribution to the scene.
Provide more context and background information on legal terms like 'slayer rule' and 'undue influence' to help the audience understand the significance of these concepts.
Create more organic transitions between topics and characters, allowing for a smoother flow of conversation and a clearer progression of ideas.
Enhance the emotional depth of the scene by exploring the characters' motivations, fears, and relationships, making their conflicts more relatable and engaging.
Consider restructuring the scene to have a more cohesive narrative arc, with a clear buildup of tension, revelation of information, and resolution of conflicts.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Beer bottles now stacked up in front of Ransom. Marta has
just told Ransom everything. He stares into space, and
makes the slightest hint of a laugh which I'll write as:

RANSOM
Heuh.

MARTA
I know, just saying it it sounds
insane but it's all true. I think
Blanc's been on to me from the
start - I don't care if I go to jail,
but my mom... my sister, we can't -

Nothing but silence from Ransom. Maybe he's deep in
thought. A strange glint in his eye.

MARTA (cont'd)
Why are you looking like that?
(beat)
Ransom?

RANSOM
I always thought I was the only one
who could beat Granddad at GO. I
always thought that meant something.

MARTA
I know you did.
86.

RANSOM
At the party, that night, my last
conversation with him, our last
fight, that's what he told me, about
you. That you beat him nearly every
time. More than me. And I thought
what a strange thing to tell me. But
I think I get it now. I think it did
mean something.
(beat)
I'm not telling the family shit.
You're not going to jail. That
detective is not going to catch you.
And you're not giving up the family
fortune. Think about what Granddad
did to see this through, this was
what he wanted not just for you but
for his family, and for him. And yes
for you. You've come this far. Let
me help you go all the way.

Marta looks at him hard.

MARTA
This isn't you. You could turn me in
right now and get your cut of the
inheritance. Why?

RANSOM
Because fuck my family. They don't
deserve any of this. I can help you
and we can fool them all and get away
with it... and then you will give me
my cut of the inheritance. The
perfect ending, we all win. You, me
and Harlan. Deal?

Silence. Broken by Marta's phone ringing. On the phone
ID - "MEG T"

Marta takes a breath, looks at Ransom. And picks it up.

MARTA
Meg

MEG (ON PHONE) MARTA
Marta. Oh that was nuts. I know

MEG (ON PHONE)
Are you ok?
87.

MARTA
Yeah are you?

MEG (ON PHONE)
I'm fine, I mean everyone's nuts,
they're all going, I don't know,
they've lost it. No one knows I'm
calling you, I wanted to - I don't
know what I wanted, I wanted to say
sorry for how everyone was.

MARTA MEG (ON PHONE)
No... And... I guess I wanted to
ask...
(beat)
What are you going to do?

MARTA
What do you mean?

MEG (ON PHONE)
Well the... with the, will. What are
you going to do?

Marta looks at Ransom. What indeed.

MARTA
What do you think I should do?

MEG (ON PHONE)
You should do what you think is...
right. I think you should give it
back to us. Granddad always took
care of us, we're his family, I know
he was like family to you but we're
his actual family. Marta you know
this isn't fair, we've always been
good to you and we're going to take
care of you, everyone loves you and
you're like family and we'll take
care of you but you have to make
things right, you know what's right.

Marta, keeping eye contact with Ransom. Then, her voice
quavering, Meg drops what is for her the big bomb:

MEG (ON PHONE) (cont'd)
Marta mom's broke, she says I'll have
to drop out of school.

MARTA
No, no. I won't let that happen.
(MORE)
88.

MARTA (cont'd)
(beat)
Whatever money you need Meg, I'll
help you. I don't want you to worry.

INT. DRAWING ROOM - NIGHT

Meg on the phone. Her face horrified, mortified, barely
comprehending what she's just heard.

MARTA (ON PHONE)
I'll take care of you. I promise.

MEG
Thanks.

MARTA (ON PHONE)
And once I get the -

Meg hangs up, lets the phone drop from her ear. Tears in
her eyes. She turns to her whole family gathered behind
her, silent and expectant.

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Marta realizes the connection's dead, holds the phone in her
hand like something delicate she just broke.

RANSOM
Ok then. Did the detective find
anything suspicious at the house?

MARTA
(in a daze)
Mud. Tracks upstairs - where I broke
in through the window.

Ransom winces.

RANSOM
Identifiable prints?

MARTA
No.

RANSOM
Good. Ok. Good. Hey. You've just
gotta ride the next few days out
until the investigation putters out,
cause it will, cause no matter how
sharp this Blanc guy is he's got
nothing. Relax.
89.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Intense

Summary Initially dismissive, Ransom recognizes Marta's cunning and agrees to aid her secret-keeping. Meanwhile, Marta comforts Meg, promising financial support amidst Meg's mother's struggles and her own academic concerns. As the scene concludes, Marta resolutely faces the challenge ahead.

Strengths

Intense dialogue
Emotional depth
Character development
Plot intricacy

Weaknesses

Some moments of exposition

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear focus and direction, with multiple threads of conversation and emotional beats that can be confusing for the audience.
The dialogue between Marta and Ransom feels disjointed and lacks a natural flow, making it difficult to follow their emotional journey.
The emotional impact of the scene is diluted by the abrupt shifts in tone and pacing, making it challenging for the audience to connect with the characters.
The transition between the phone conversation with Meg and the interaction between Marta and Ransom is jarring and disrupts the narrative flow.
The emotional stakes of the scene are not effectively conveyed, leaving the audience feeling disconnected from the characters' struggles and motivations.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Streamline the dialogue to focus on the core emotional conflict between Marta and Ransom, clarifying their motivations and intentions.
Create a more cohesive narrative structure by establishing a clear throughline for the scene and maintaining a consistent tone throughout.
Enhance the emotional impact of the scene by allowing the characters' vulnerabilities and conflicts to drive the dialogue and interactions.
Consider restructuring the scene to build tension and suspense, leading to a more impactful resolution of the conflict between Marta and Ransom.
Provide more context and background information to help the audience understand the characters' relationships and motivations, enhancing their investment in the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. MARTA'S BEDROOM - EARLY MORNING

She wakes to a sharp rapping at her door. Her sister Alice
pokes her head in, flustered.

ALICE
Marta get your ass up, what the hell
is happening? There's a guy here and
a bunch of stuff, everything's going
crazy, are we rich??

Marta lifts her head from her hands.

MARTA
Maybe, I dunno.

ALICE
I don't even know what that means but
you better get your ass up.

Marta looks at her phone - 28 missed calls.

INT. CABRERA LIVING ROOM

Marta stumbles in - Alice in front of the TV, mom pacing.

MOM
(subtitled Spanish)
Oh my god Marta what is all this,
what did you do?

The TV is tuned to local news - an anchor stands outside
THEIR APARTMENT BUILDING.

LOCAL NEWS ANCHOR (ON TV)
...we again we don't know much about
Marta Cabrera or the exact
relationship she had to Harlan
Thrombey, beyond being his home
nurse, and the Thrombey family has
yet to release a statement...

MARTA
Is that here?

ALICE
Oh yeah it is. Wait so is that true?
Are we rich?

Marta looks out the blinds - several local reporters down in
the streets with their vans and cameras.
90.

MARTA
Oh my god.

INT. DONNA'S CAR - MORNING

Donna, Walt's wife, listens to the same coverage on the
radio as she pulls up to their suburban home.

EXT. WALT'S DRIVEWAY - MORNING

Donna gets out with groceries. Approaches the front door.

Stops. YELPS. Drops the groceries.

There's a SHADY LOOKING MAN in a dark overcoat waiting near
the door. He turns to her.

DONNA
No no no no

She runs back towards her car. Tries the door but it's
locked and she dropped her keys with her groceries

DONNA (cont'd)
No Walt said he'll have the money
we'll figure it out NO!

The man takes a step towards her, Donna turns and RUNS -
STRAIGHT into the arms of Blanc.

BLANC
Whoa whoa - Mrs. Thrombey, are you
alright?

Trooper Wagner exits his prowler back behind Blanc. Donna
turns to look - the shady man is gone.

DONNA
He - oh god.

She collapses in nervous sobs. Blanc nods to Wagner.

INT. WALT'S KITCHEN - MINUTES LATER

Blanc sets tea down in front of the still shaken Donna.
Wagner stands by.

TROOPER WAGNER
We've got local officers on alert for
the man, if he's still around.
91.

BLANC
Do you know who he was, what he
wanted?

DONNA
I - no. I have no idea.

BLANC
Well it's lucky I came by, Mrs.
Thrombey. But I'm here to press you
a bit on something uncomfortable.
See, I checked the hospital logs for
Walt's bicycle accident. You
admitted him nine days ago... at
three in the morning. Not prime
bicycling time. So I dug a bit more.
Now it's possible he was shot in the
leg while on a bicycle, but at the
very least he buried the lede.

Blanc slides a medical record with X-Ray printout of a
bullet wound to a thigh bone.

DONNA
It started small. Side investments.
But he got deeper in, and losing
money so fast...

BLANC
...and he started drawing from the
publishing company. How much? Alot.
Donna. I know Walt is in big
trouble. But if he's done something
worse to try to fix it - or is going
to do something worse -

Donna looks up at Blanc, scared.

BLANC (cont'd)
Where is Walt now?

INT. CABRERA LIVING ROOM

MOM
Lawyers were here, very big lawyers
it looked like, and some other guys I
didn't know, they left all this for
you and business cards, so many
business cards, and there was a pile
of other stuff when I got home -
92.

Mom shovels some official looking legal letter and courier
envelopes into Marta's arms.

MOM (cont'd)
(subtitled Spanish)
Hey. I don't like this.

MARTA
(subtitled Spanish)
I don't like it either mom. I'm
slipping out the back - I'll be back
later, don't talk to anyone.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional

Summary Marta is awakened by news of a suspicious man and belongings at her apartment. Amidst a flurry of missed calls, she discovers a shocking news report about herself and the deceased Harlan Thrombey. Reporters swarm outside, while Donna Thrombey encounters a shadowy figure and faces uncomfortable questions from Detective Blanc. Marta's family grapples with legal documents and advises her to flee.

Strengths

Tension-building
Revealing character dynamics
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Possible confusion with multiple character interactions
Some dialogue may need clarification

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear transition from Marta waking up to the news coverage at her apartment building, causing a bit of confusion for the audience.
The dialogue between Marta, Alice, and their mother in the living room feels a bit rushed and could benefit from more emotional depth and clarity.
The introduction of Donna's encounter with the shady man outside Walt's house feels abrupt and disconnected from the previous events, making it seem out of place.
Blanc's interrogation of Donna in the kitchen lacks a smooth flow and could be more focused on building tension and suspense.
The transition back to Marta's family in the living room feels disjointed and could be better integrated with the unfolding events.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a smoother transition between Marta waking up and the news coverage at her apartment building to improve the flow of the scene.
Take time to develop the dialogue between Marta, Alice, and their mother in the living room to add emotional depth and clarity to their interactions.
Integrate Donna's encounter with the shady man outside Walt's house more seamlessly into the narrative to ensure it feels connected to the overall storyline.
Refine Blanc's interrogation of Donna in the kitchen to build more tension and suspense, enhancing the impact of the scene.
Work on creating a more cohesive transition back to Marta's family in the living room to maintain the continuity of the unfolding events and keep the audience engaged.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY

Dim and dingy. Marta comes out of their apartment door,
then jump, startled - at the end of the hall, lurking:
Walt.

MARTA
Hey.

Walt's eyes are rimmed red. His heavy cane taps.

WALT
Hey.

They're not sure what to do so they awkwardly hug. Marta
still has the envelopes in her hands.

WALT (cont'd)
How you doing?

MARTA WALT
Well. Walt I want you to
know I didn't know about any
of this. This is I know you didn't, we all
went kinda crazy yesterday

MARTA
Understandable

WALT
You're still very important to all of
us, I want you to know that.

MARTA
I haven't even looked at all this
yet, this legal stuff, is this from
you guys? Is there anything I should
know about it?
93.

Marta flips through the envelopes, squinting.

WALT
it isn't from us. Maybe just local
lawyers and accountants who saw the
news and want to jump on it, I'd be
careful of it all. But no, we're
all, I mean we're still hoping that
we won't, the family won't have to
bring lawyers into this.

One envelope sticks out - a blank plain letter sized
envelope, no postage, no return address.

MARTA
...good

WALT
Marta. Is it your intention to
renounce the inheritance?

MARTA
No. This is what Harlan wanted.

WALT
Well. The truth is Harlan has put
you in a very hard position here. It
was unfair of him.

Marta's phone buzzes - Caller ID: "maybe B BLANC". She
ignores it.

WALT (cont'd)
You didn't ask for this, you're, we
as the family, we see you as the
victim in all this.
(beat)
And we want to protect you.

Walt's hand on his cane. Gripping tight.

WALT (cont'd)
You see what this kicks up with the
press and the scrutiny, and we
know... with your mother...

MARTA
...with my mother.

Marta's spine straightens.

MARTA (cont'd)
What did Meg tell you.
94.

WALT
This isn't about who - you're missing
the point, we're not attacking you
with this. Marta if your mom came
here illegally, criminally, if you
come into this inheritance with the
scrutiny that entails I'd be afraid
that could come to light. That's
what we're all trying to avoid here.
We can protect you from that
happening, or if it happens.

MARTA
You're saying even if it came to
light, with the family's resources
you could help me fix it.

WALT
Yes. The right lawyers, none of
those local guys but New York
lawyers, DC lawyers, enough resources
put towards it, yes. But there's no
need it should ever even come up.
But yes.

MARTA
Ok. Good.

WALT
Ok?

MARTA
Cause Harlan gave me all your
resources. So that means with my
resources I'll be able to fix it. So
I guess I'm going to go find the
right lawyers.

WALT
Marta.

He shuffles towards her. For the first time she feels a
hint of physical threat, and backs up quick into her
apartment.

WALT (cont'd)
You better be sure you want to -

She slams the door
95.

INT. CABRERA KITCHEN

and leans against it, breathing hard. But angry and
focused. She dumps the legal envelopes in the trash but
keeps the mysterious envelope, opens it and pulls out:

Half a sheet of paper, roughly torn. A photocopy of the
header of some sort of medical document, "OFFICE OF THE
CHIEF MEDICAL EXAMINER" Under that, a photocopy of a tag
with her name on it. And hand written in block letters at
the top: "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID."

Marta's phone BUZZES, and she jumps. Caller ID: "maybe B
BLANC". She hesitates, then sends it voicemail. Looks at
the mysterious letter in her hands.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE FRONT DRIVE - DAY

Wagner's prowler pulls up. Blanc gets out of the passenger
side, Wagner out of the drivers seat, and a third UNIFORMED
POLICE OFFICER gets out of the back. He was the SHADY MAN.
He carries the folded overcoat he was wearing in front of
Donna's house.

Blanc nods to the Wagner and the officer.

BLANC
Gentlemen, thank you, and I promise
not a word to Elliott.
(into the phone)
Miss Cabrera it's Benoit Blanc. I had
the police drop your car back at your
home address. Marta I have a strange
premonition... be careful. And call
me back at your soonest convenience.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Serious

Summary Marta and Walt discuss the inheritance and potential legal issues. Walt warns Marta of her mother's illegal status being revealed if she accepts it. Marta refuses, prompting threats from Walt but remaining defiant. She discovers an envelope with a medical document and a handwritten message revealing someone knows her secret. Blanc warns Marta to be cautious, suggesting an impending danger.

Strengths

Tense dialogue
Emotional depth
Intriguing plot twists

Weaknesses

Some repetitive dialogue
Slightly predictable character interactions

General Critique

The scene lacks clarity in terms of the characters' motivations and intentions. It's not clear why Walt is pressuring Marta to renounce the inheritance and why he is emphasizing the potential legal issues related to her mother's immigration status.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural at times, especially in Walt's monologue about protecting Marta and the family's resources. It comes across as overly explanatory and doesn't flow naturally.
The tension between Marta and Walt could be heightened to create a more gripping and suspenseful atmosphere. The physical threat that Marta senses from Walt could be built up more effectively to increase the stakes of the scene.
The revelation of the mysterious envelope with the handwritten message 'I KNOW WHAT YOU DID' feels cliched and lacks originality. It's a common trope in mystery stories and doesn't add much depth or intrigue to the scene.
The transition from Marta's confrontation with Walt to Blanc's arrival at the Thrombey estate feels abrupt and disjointed. There could be a smoother transition or a more seamless connection between the two sequences.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Clarify the characters' motivations and intentions to make their interactions more believable and engaging.
Revise the dialogue to make it more natural and reflective of the characters' personalities and emotions.
Enhance the tension between Marta and Walt by building up the physical threat and increasing the stakes of the scene.
Consider a more original and impactful way to introduce the mysterious envelope and the message 'I KNOW WHAT YOU DID' to add depth and intrigue to the storyline.
Work on creating a smoother transition between scenes to maintain the flow and coherence of the narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. GREATNANA'S ROOM

Dim. By an open window stands GREATNANA. Blanc enters, she
turns. They look into each others eyes.

BLANC
Mrs. Thrombey. I've always found it

A long pause as he thinks of exactly the right word.

BLANC (cont'd)
sad that youth assumes age to be a
muffling agent, like cotton gauze. A
lessener of desire, curiosity and all
the little glass baubles. Of youth.
(MORE)
96.

BLANC (cont'd)
Grief. Why is grief the providence
of youth? Maybe it's comforting, the
thought that when we'll most
encounter it we'll have gained some
immunity, maybe by projecting that
onto our elders we think we can
manifest it for ourselves. I don't
know. But I'd imagine that age
deepens all feelings. Including
grief. This was a long walk to
offering condolences again for the
loss of your son. And asking you if
it isn't presumptuous of me to not
think too harshly of your family, if
I am as I suspect the first to
console you. They're young aren't
they.

Blanc sits.

BLANC (cont'd)
One thing I do assume of age is
weariness. And maybe that's just
another version of the cotton gauze
projection. But even with the years
I have, damned if I don't get more
tired every day. Tired of what I do.
Following arcs, like lobbed rocks.
The inevitability of truth - lord
how grand - sounds like a rosy eyed
optimism, maybe. I do believe it.
But the complexity and the gray lies
not in the truth but what you do with
the truth once you have it.

Greatnana's eyes move slightly.

BLANC (cont'd)
I think you have something you want
to tell me. I think you're very
perceptive and very capable of
telling me what you saw the night of
your son's party. But I'll happily
wait. I'm in no rush. I find it
quite pleasant. Sitting here with
you.

He reclines, not particularly looking at her. She looks
back at him. Every now and then a breeze stirs the window
sheers.
97.

INT. RANSOM'S BEDROOM - MORNING

Too nice. Ransom wakes to his phone ringing.

RANSOM
(bleary)
Yeah

MARTA (ON PHONE)
Hey it's me, I'm outside.

RANSOM
Outside where?

A rapping on the window from outside the room.

EXT. RANSOM'S HOUSE

A nice little single residence home. Marta's car parked
next to Ransom's Porsche out front, Marta peering in the
window breathless when Ransom opens the front door in a
robe.

MARTA
Sorry.

INT. RANSOM'S LIVING ROOM

Ransom studies the mysterious letter. Marta pushes aside a
stack of New Yorkers and sits on the couch.

RANSOM
Well I don't know what this is from

Indicating the tag photocopy with her name.

MARTA
It's my medical bag tag. They have
my medical bag. For some reason.

RANSOM
OK, but this is the header of a blood
analysis, from the local crime lab.
On Harlan. Marta, it would show the
morphine overdose.

MARTA
Shit. Why would they test his blood?
97A.

RANSOM
Standard police procedure, any
unnatural death.

MARTA
So I'm screwed! How did Harlan miss
this?

RANSOM
He never remembered this kinda
procedural shit.

MARTA
How do you know all this stuff?

RANSOM
I was his research assistant. For a
summer. To be fair I sucked at it
too.
98.

MARTA
Shit shit shit shit shit. So wait if
the police know this why am I not in
jail?

RANSOM
The crime lab must not have sent it
to them yet. But this was dated
yesterday morning, the clock is
ticking.
(regards the paper)
This wasn't from the police. Why
would somebody send you this?

MARTA
Blackmail.

RANSOM
No it makes no sense. Blackmail only
works if this is the only copy. But
the report, the data, the blood
samples, it's all at the crime lab
down the street.
(beat)
The bag is open, the cat's coming
out. What was the point of sending
you this?

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Introspective, Conversational

Summary Benoit Blanc offers condolences to Greatnana, reflecting on age and grief. Ransom receives a call from Marta about a medical bag tag with a blood analysis header showing Harlan's morphine overdose, leading to speculation about blackmail.

Strengths

Complex characters
Tense atmosphere
Emotional depth
Revealing dialogue
Intriguing plot twists

Weaknesses

Potential for confusion with multiple subplots
Overly introspective dialogue at times

General Critique

The scene in Greatnana's room starts with a long monologue by Blanc that feels overly verbose and meandering, lacking a clear focus or purpose.
Blanc's dialogue is filled with abstract musings and philosophical reflections that may be difficult for the audience to follow or connect with.
The interaction between Blanc and Greatnana lacks a clear direction or conflict, making it feel stagnant and unengaging.
The transition to Ransom's bedroom feels abrupt and disjointed, lacking a smooth segue from the previous scene.
The dialogue between Ransom and Marta in Ransom's living room feels forced and unnatural, with an excessive amount of exposition and information being conveyed.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider streamlining Blanc's monologue to make it more concise and impactful, focusing on key points that drive the narrative forward.
Add more depth to the interaction between Blanc and Greatnana by introducing a clear conflict or tension that propels the scene.
Work on creating a smoother transition between scenes to maintain the flow of the story and keep the audience engaged.
Revise the dialogue between Ransom and Marta to make it more realistic and engaging, focusing on natural conversation and character development.
Consider adding more visual elements and actions to enhance the scene and create a more dynamic and visually engaging sequence.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. HALLWAY

A uniformed COP runs down the hallway in Thrombey's house
and bursts into the room where Blanc sits with Greatnana.
99.

COP
Mr. Blanc, a call from Lieutenant
Elliott - you need to get down to the
medical examiners office right now.

Blanc stands, smelling something big, nods a goodbye to the
still silent Greatnana and rushes out with the cop.

A moment after he's left, Greatnana slowly raises a finger
as if to say "wait."

A long beat.

Then Blanc runs back into the room and goes to her, puts his
ear to her mouth. She whispers something to him. He takes
the info with gravity. Then looks up at her.

BLANC
Thank you dear one.

He kisses her gently on the forehead. Then dashes out.

EXT. NORFOLK ROADS

Siren blazing, the cop car SPEEDS into town.

EXT. MEDICAL EXAMINER'S OFFICE

The cop car pulls past an identifying sign into the parking
lot of a one story stand alone building, joining several
other cop cars, and fire trucks. Journalists kept at bay.

The building is a charred brick husk. Black smoke, debris.
It's been gutted with an explosion and a blazing fire.

Blanc steps out of the cop car and finds Lieutenant Elliott.

BLANC
What's the cheese?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Five AM, a break-in alarm was
triggered. Before we could even
respond neighbors reported the
flames. It went up quick, the whole
place is gutted. Blood stores,
records, all gone. No employees
around, thank god.

BLANC
Any surveillance cams?
100.

Elliott gestures wearily to the charred remains of a
security camera on the smoking shell of an awning.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
And speaking of, the security tape
from the Thrombey residence was
scrambled. Somehow.

Blanc unsurprised. He motions back to the building.

BLANC
What was still pending from the
autopsy?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
The report on the blood work.

BLANC
Blood work?

Blanc chews on this.

Across the street, Marta and Ransom pull up in her car.

INT. MARTA'S CAR

MARTA
Holy shit. Did - was this connected?

Ransom looks at her - yeah it's likely. They both
instinctively duck down in case the cops look over.

MARTA (cont'd)
Who would blow up a whole real
official building just to blackmail
me?

RANSOM
Someone who knows how much money
you're about to inherit.
(beat)
Do you know how much money you're
about to inherit?

MARTA
No. Oh god don't tell me.

RANSOM
(realizing)
Have you checked your emails this
morning?
101.

Marta looks stunned. She stabs at her phone, quick swipes.

MARTA
...nothing

RANSOM
Junk folder?

MARTA
Uh. Yeah.

She shows him an email from 092832@shushmail.com. No
subject line, simple text: 1209 Columbus Rd 10AM

Marta looks at Ransom, then at the clock on her dashboard -
9:32, then at the charred building.

EXT. MEDICAL EXAMINER'S OFFICE

Blanc looks around, deep in thought. He spots Marta's car.

INT. MARTA'S CAR

Marta peeking up through the window.

Blanc sees her. She sees him. Ducks back down. Shit.

RANSOM
Marta. This means that the tox
report, the only thing that could
prove your guilt, exists as a paper
copy, in the possession of this
blackmailer. Who will be at this
address. In half an hour.

Blanc begins to walk straight towards Marta. Quickly and
with purpose. Shouts something, Lieutenant Elliott follows.

RANSOM (cont'd)
Marta. Did you hear me.

Marta peeks again - Blanc coming at them full speed. Twenty
paces from the car. Closing in fast.

MARTA
Yeah.

She sits up, throws the car in gear and FLOORS IT.
102.

EXT. MEDICAL EXAMINER'S OFFICE

Her subcompact PEELS OUT and buzzes off down the road.

Blanc, crestfallen, runs back towards the cop cars in the
parking lot, shouting at Elliott, who flags a cop.

INT. MARTA'S CAR

The whine of the engine, Ransom puts on his seat belt. In
the rear view, siren lights as cop cars pour out of the
parking lot in pursuit.

MARTA
You regret helping me yet?

RANSOM
I regret not taking the Porsche.

Her phone buzzes - Blanc calling. IGNORE.

EXT. NORFOLK ROADS

Marta buzzing down the road, cop cars a quarter mile back.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic

Summary Blanc rushes to the medical examiner's office after receiving news of a call from Lieutenant Elliott. Before leaving, Greatnana whispers something mysterious to Blanc. Upon arriving at the office, Blanc finds it destroyed in an explosion. The blood work report that could prove Marta's guilt is pending. Marta and Ransom discuss the potential connection between the explosion and a blackmail email Marta received. The scene ends with Marta fleeing in her car, evading pursuit from Blanc and the police.

Strengths

Engaging plot twists
Tense atmosphere
Strong character dynamics

Weaknesses

Some elements may be too complex for casual viewers to follow

General Critique

The scene starts with a sense of urgency and mystery, with the cop informing Blanc about a call from Lieutenant Elliott and the subsequent rush to the medical examiner's office. This sets up a potentially crucial development in the investigation.
Greatnana's silent interaction with Blanc and her whispered message add an intriguing element to the scene, hinting at hidden information or secrets that could impact the case.
The revelation of the explosion at the medical examiner's office and the destruction of crucial evidence creates a sense of heightened tension and urgency in the investigation.
The dynamic between Marta and Ransom in the car adds a layer of suspense and uncertainty, especially with the discovery of the blackmail email and the mysterious address.
Blanc's realization of Marta's presence and his pursuit towards her car, along with the subsequent chase by the police, intensifies the stakes and keeps the audience engaged.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more clarity to Greatnana's whispered message to Blanc, as it could potentially be a pivotal moment in the story.
Enhance the dialogue between Marta and Ransom in the car to further build tension and suspense, especially regarding the blackmail email and the impending meeting at the address.
Ensure a smooth transition between the different locations and characters to maintain the pacing and coherence of the scene.
Explore the emotional impact on Marta and Ransom as they navigate the escalating situation, adding depth to their characters and motivations.
Consider incorporating more visual cues and descriptions to enhance the atmosphere and tension of the scene, particularly during the car chase and interaction with Blanc.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. COP CAR

Blanc in back, Elliott in front, Trooper Wagner driving.

COP (ON RADIO) LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Vehicles in pursuit in (into radio)
Washington Street No force - repeat that.
Possible murder suspect.

Their speedometer creeping up on 85

INT. MARTA'S CAR

Marta's speedometer creeping up on 55.

MARTA RANSOM
Oh my god oh my god oh my Are you flooring it?
god I am literally flooring
it

Her phone rings - Blanc again. She looks over - cop cars
are RIGHT ALONGSIDE them. Blank holds his phone up, looks
at her quizzically. Points to the phone.
103.

RANSOM (cont'd)
This is going well.

MARTA
This is stupid, I'm pulling over

RANSOM
If you miss your shot at getting that
tox report it's all over...

MARTA
Aaauuuuuawwwaaagghhhh

She hits the brakes.

EXT. NORFOLK ROADS

Marta's car PEELS TO A STOP and the two COP CARS on either
side blaze by, hitting their brakes.

She pulls off onto a SIDE STREET and into narrower city
streets, down narrow alleys, using her small car to nimbly
dart though small spaces.

The cops can't follow, and she loses them.

She pulls to a stop in a secluded little back lot.

INT. MARTA'S CAR

Marta, breathing hard. Ransom is shocked.

MARTA RANSOM
Ok. I'm all just pure
adrenaline now it's like I
swallowed bees. What's the
the whatsitcalled address 1209 Columbus road.
ok. And I just - I mean
whatever they want, I just
say yes right, just to get
that report back. And destroy it.
And destroy it. Ransom.
Thank you. I couldn't do
this without you.

He smiles slightly. A quick moment of silence between them.

Then: RAP RAP RAP on Ransom's car window.
104.

Blanc. Standing right outside. Marta looks in her rear
view - the cop car has pulled up silently behind them.
Another pulls up in front.

EXT. PARKING LOT

Ransom and Marta step out of the car, hands raised for some
reason.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
That was the dumbest car chase of all
time. Put your hands down.

BLANC
(to Marta)
I spoke to Wanetta Thrombey,
Greatnana. The night of the party
she saw someone climb the trellis to
the third floor.

MARTA
Should I, I should have a lawyer?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Mr. Drysdale, come with us please.

Elliott leads Ransom off by the elbow. Ransom throws a look
back at Marta - he has no idea what's going on.

MARTA
What's going on?

BLANC
It was Ransom. "Ransom came back"
she said. I don't know what he came
back to do, but we'll find out.

Marta looks at Ransom - oh no. Senile Greatnana thought she
was him. This is a mistake. But... she glances at her
watch - 9:51.

BLANC (cont'd)
Did he tell you to drive when he saw
me coming?

Ransom's being led to the police car. Marta decides:

MARTA
Yes.

Marta gets back in her car. She pretends to take a sip from
an empty soda cup, but actually SPITS UP a little into it.
105.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT (O.S.)
Blanc.

BLANC (O.S.)
(to Elliott)
I'll drive with Marta.

To Marta's horror Blanc opens her passenger door.

BLANC
Let's go to the police station, I
want a full run down of everything he
said to you, and I can catch you up
on where we're at.

EXT. NORFOLK ROADS

Cop cars coast through town, Marta's bringing up the rear.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Crime
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic, Anxious

Summary Marta and Lieutenant Elliott engage in a car chase with Ransom Drysdale, a possible murder suspect. Marta skillfully evades the police while Blanc learns of Ransom's presence on the night of the party. After Ransom's arrest, Marta realizes the mistaken identification but feigns obedience to Blanc.

Strengths

High tension and suspense
Revelation of crucial information
Dynamic action sequence

Weaknesses

Lack of standout dialogue
Emotional impact somewhat overshadowed by action

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear sense of urgency and tension considering the high stakes involved in a pursuit of a murder suspect.
The dialogue feels a bit disjointed and lacks depth, especially in moments of high intensity.
The character reactions and interactions could be more nuanced and realistic, adding layers to the scene.
The resolution of the car chase and confrontation with Blanc and the police feels rushed and could benefit from more development.
There is a missed opportunity to delve deeper into the emotional and psychological impact on Marta and Ransom during this intense moment.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Enhance the sense of urgency and tension by adding more suspenseful elements to the scene.
Revise the dialogue to make it more impactful and reflective of the characters' emotions and motivations.
Develop the character reactions and interactions to add depth and complexity to the scene.
Expand on the resolution of the car chase and confrontation to provide a more satisfying conclusion.
Explore the emotional and psychological impact on Marta and Ransom in greater detail to create a more compelling and engaging scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. MARTA'S CAR

Marta glances at the dashboard clock - 9:55. Blanc, casual:

BLANC
Strange case from the start. A
broken arc, a case with a hole in the
middle. A donut. I'm just talking
through my process here, let me know
if this is boring.

Marta's arms are locked, her eyes steal a glance at the
clock - 9:58.

BLANC (cont'd)
I feel the noose tightening - the
family are truly desperate. Walt
owes bad men money, his life depends
on the inheritance. Joni's entire
business and carefully cultivated
image will crumble without it. And
Richard - I sense there's more at
stake for Richard than his marriage.

MARTA
Richard signed a pre-nup. With
Linda. Ransom told me - he'd get
nothing if she divorced him.

BLANC
Of course! So he may be the most
dangerous of all.
(MORE)
106.

BLANC (cont'd)
Desperate motives, the mystery of who
hired me, the impossibility of the
crime, and yet -

Up ahead, a street sign - "Columbus Road." Marta tenses.

BLANC (cont'd)
A donut! One central piece, and if it
reveals itself the fog would lift,
the arc would resolve, the slinky
become unkinked

MARTA
I need to pick something up. From a
friends. A check. For a thing. Can
I stop and pick something up?

BLANC
Sure.

EXT. NORFOLK ROADS

Marta's car makes a sharp turn, leaving the cop caravan.

EXT. 1209 COLUMBUS ROAD

A row of storefronts - 1209 is vacant. Marta's car pulls a
few stores past it. She gets out of the car.

MARTA
I'll just be a few minutes.

Marta runs into a bustling hair salon.

EXT. BACK ALLEY

Marta ducks out the back door of the salon, goes two doors
down to 1209, and slips into the back door.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Intriguing, Mysterious

Summary Blanc's interrogation continues, probing Richard's potential ulterior motives. Marta becomes increasingly tense and requests a stop at Columbus Road. She enters a hair salon before disappearing into a vacant building through the back door, leaving Blanc with suspicions as to her involvement.

Strengths

Tension-building
Intriguing dialogue
Complex character dynamics
High stakes

Weaknesses

Possible pacing issues in transitioning between locations

General Critique

The dialogue between Blanc and Marta feels a bit forced and expository, lacking in natural flow and authenticity.
The exposition about the family's motives and stakes comes across as heavy-handed and could be more subtly integrated into the conversation.
The transition from Blanc's musings on the case to Marta's sudden need to stop and pick something up feels abrupt and disjointed.
The scene lacks a sense of urgency and tension, considering the high stakes and the ongoing investigation.
The setting and actions in the scene could be more visually engaging and dynamic to enhance the overall impact.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the dialogue to make it more organic and reflective of the characters' personalities.
Integrate the exposition about the family's motives more subtly into the conversation, allowing it to unfold naturally.
Smooth out the transition between Blanc's reflections and Marta's sudden need to stop, ensuring a more seamless flow.
Infuse more urgency and tension into the scene to heighten the suspense and maintain the audience's interest.
Enhance the visual elements and actions in the scene to create a more immersive and impactful experience for the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. 1209 COLUMBUS ROAD

Dark, empty retail space. Lit only by the painted-over
front windows. Marta edges her way in, her eyes still
adjusting from the sun.

MARTA
Hello?

Her foot hits something on the dirty concrete floor.
107.

HER MEDICAL BAG.

She kneels, picks it up gently.

Next to where it was lying, she finds something else
curious - the burned remnants of a piece of paper. Only a
charred corner remains.

She turns her attention back to the room. Creeps forward.

MARTA (cont'd)
Hello?

Ahead - a silhouette. A person. Seated in a chair, in the
center of the room. Silent, facing her.

MARTA (cont'd)
I don't have much time. Whatever you
want we can work it out, but we
figure it out right here, right now,
and I leave with that report.

A beat of silence. Nothing. Something's not right here.

MARTA (cont'd)
Hello?

Marta takes a step closer, lifts her phone, and turns on its
flashlight.

Illuminating the ghostly face of FRAN, the housekeeper.

Marta, barely breathing:

MARTA (cont'd)
Fran?

A SPIDER crawls across Fran's face. Marta STIFLES A SCREAM
and leaps back, sucking in air.

A moment of stillness. Her phone BUZZES - Blanc calling.
Marta ignores the call, frozen.

Her eyes go to: A white letter sized ENVELOPE in Fran's
hand, resting on her lap.

Marta swallows. Leans in, carefully and quietly for some
reason, and SLIPS the envelope from the lifeless fingers.

Unsealed. She opens it.

It is empty.
108.

Before this can even sink in, a rattling, grating DRAW OF
BREATH - from Fran.

Marta starts - oh my god - and goes to her, checking a
pulse, checking her eyes, lays her on her back. Fran sucks
in thin breath, her eyes finding Marta in the glare of the
dropped phone flashlight.

MARTA (cont'd)
Fran! Fran! Can you hear me? Fran,
give me a sign if you can hear me!

FRAN
You

MARTA
Me? Fran it's Marta, you called me
here, you sent me the email, I'm
here. I'm going to call an ambulance
and you're going to be ok but can you
tell me what happened, did you take
something, what's happened to you -

Weak, Fran grabs Marta's wrist, and Marta focuses on her.

FRAN
...copy... copy

MARTA
A copy. A copy... of this?
(the envelope)
Where?

FRAN
...stashed...

MARTA
Stashed where? Where is it Fran?

These words are barely given breath:

FRAN
you... did this... won't... get
away.. with this

Her eyes seize. Her breath gets ragged. Marta is paralyzed
with shock and fear. Fran is dying.

Marta looks at the medical bag in her hand. Then at Fran,
struggling with her final breaths, eyes wide with fear.

She takes a step back from the dying Fran. Fingers tight
around the medical bag. Letting her die.
109.

But then, a decision: no. Marta dials 911 on speaker, drops
to her knees and starts administering mouth to mouth.

PHONE
911, what is your emergency?

EXT. 1209 COLUMBUS ROAD

Blanc sitting in the car, singing softly to himself.

BLANC
Sometimes I stand in the middle of
the room... not going left... not
going right...

He looks at the hair salon - what's taking so long? And
then sirens, as an AMBULANCE pulls up two doors down, and
EMT's run into the abandoned storefront.

BLANC (cont'd)
Oh no.

HARD CUT TO:

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Tense, Suspenseful, Emotional, Mysterious

Summary Marta, entering an empty retail space, finds Fran, the housekeeper, seemingly lifeless in a chair. Discovering an empty envelope in Fran's hand, Marta is met with cryptic whispers about a hidden copy and the accusation of responsibility before Fran's final breaths. Struggling with hesitation, Marta decides to call 911 and perform CPR, as an ambulance arrives outside.

Strengths

Tension-filled atmosphere
Emotional depth
Intriguing mystery
Compelling character dynamics

Weaknesses

Slightly predictable outcome

General Critique

The scene starts with a strong sense of mystery and tension, which is engaging for the audience. The setting and atmosphere are well-described, creating a sense of unease and anticipation.
The interaction between Marta and Fran is intense and emotional, with a good use of suspense and dramatic tension. The revelation of Fran's condition and her cryptic words add depth to the scene.
The dialogue between Marta and Fran is impactful and conveys a sense of urgency and desperation. The back-and-forth between the characters keeps the audience on edge and invested in the outcome.
The moment when Fran grabs Marta's wrist and whispers her final words is a powerful and chilling moment that adds a layer of complexity to the scene.
Marta's internal conflict and decision to call 911 and administer mouth-to-mouth to Fran show her compassion and humanity, adding depth to her character.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more visual cues to enhance the suspense and tension in the scene. Descriptions of the surroundings, lighting, and character movements can help create a more immersive experience for the audience.
Explore the emotional impact of Fran's final moments in more detail. Show Marta's internal struggle and the weight of the situation on her shoulders to further engage the audience.
Consider adding a bit more clarity to Fran's cryptic words to ensure the audience can follow the unfolding mystery effectively.
Continue to build on the dynamic between Marta and Fran to deepen the emotional connection and create a more compelling narrative arc.
Consider incorporating more sensory details to evoke a stronger emotional response from the audience. Descriptions of sounds, smells, and physical sensations can enhance the atmosphere of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - LATER

Marta and Blanc sitting silently in the fluorescent-lit
waiting room. Marta with her face in her hands. Blanc is
on his phone, mostly listening.

BLANC
(into phone)
Mm hm. Mm.
(listens awhile)
Huh.
(listens)
And that was it? Mm hm. Alright my
friend, thank you for the update. No
I'm here with her. No need for that,
I'll bring her in once we get word
that the housekeeper is stable. It's
still touch and go.
(listens)
No. I don't know. Alright.

He hangs up. Marta looks at him.

MARTA
This is over. People are getting
hurt, I've gotta stop this. I'm
going to tell you the truth.
110.

BLANC
Young Ransom just told Lieutenant
Elliott everything. Who just told me
everything.

MARTA BLANC
Good. Wait god I hope he
didn't cover for me, did he
tell the real truth, about
me switching the- Yeah
And the disguise and all
the- Yes
And the blackmail with the- Mm.

MARTA
I just wish you'd caught me before
Fran got hurt.
(beat)
Why did Fran take my morphine? She
obviously had swiped my bag from the
house, but she didn't seem like a
user to me, unless that's why she
needed money...
(beat)
I dunno, doesn't matter. I should
tell the Thrombeys myself, I feel
like I owe that to them.

BLANC
I don't think that's a good idea

MARTA
No, I need to do it. I won't do any
of this if I can't do that. I really
need to. I gave the doctors my
number, they'll call if anything
changes with Fran.

BLANC
We'll round up the Thrombeys at the
house, along with a police escort.

MARTA
For the arrest after.

BLANC
You can tell me your whole story on
the drive over, from your
perspective. I want no more
surprises.

Marta stands, a dead man walking, resigned.
111.

EXT. NORFOLK ROADS

Marta's car drives through the scenic countryside. Inside
we see but don't hear her telling a long story to Blanc, who
looks at the passing countryside, brow knit.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE FRONT DRIVE - AFTERNOON

All the family cars there, along with two police cruisers.
Marta's pulls up.

INT. MARTA'S CAR

MARTA
...said it was stashed, the copy, and
then she told me "you did this, you
won't get away with it" and then I
called the ambulance. And that's it.

She turns the engine off. Looks up at the house. Breathes.

BLANC
Alright. Are you ready?

INT. FOYER

Marta and Blanc enter. This really feels like a walk
towards the gallows. Richard, Walt and Meg are there. Meg
avoids eye contact with Marta.

RICHARD
Ah. Ok, has she come to her senses?

WALT
She's standing right here - Marta

BLANC
Is the rest of the family here?

WALT BLANC
In the living room. I think maybe, if we
could...

Blanc beckons, and Richard and Walt file out. On her way
out Meg hugs Marta, weeping.

MEG
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I told them
about your mom. I was angry and
scared, I'm sorry
112.

MARTA
It's ok, Meg. I understand. Believe
me. It's alright.

Meg sniffs, dries her eyes.

MEG
God I wish Fran had come in today. I
could use some of her stash.

They hug one more time. Then when Meg walks off towards the
living room, Marta realizes something.

MARTA
Oh my god.
(to Blanc)
I know where the tox report is.

INT. DRAWING ROOM

Marta jimmies the clock drawer open with a letter opener.

She pulls a FOLDED PIECE OF PAPER from inside, blows loose
pot leaves off it. She hands it to Blanc.

MARTA
She practically told me where it was.
What a terrible blackmailer.
Anyway this'll tie everything up.
And I just handed it to you, god
you're you're not much of a
detective are you?

BLANC
To be fair you're a pretty lousy
murderer. Perhaps we deserve each
other.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Resigned, Emotional, Sarcastic

Summary Marta confesses her fateful mistake to Blanc, who reveals Ransom's cooperation with the police. Suspecting Fran's blackmail, Marta urges Blanc to support her in revealing the truth to the Thrombey family. Together, they gather the family at the Thrombey estate, where Marta's suspicion leads to the discovery of the toxicology report hidden within a clock.

Strengths

Tension-building
Revelations
Character development
Emotional depth

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly expository
Complex plot may require close attention from the audience

General Critique

The scene lacks a sense of urgency and tension considering the gravity of the situation. The dialogue feels somewhat casual and lacks the emotional weight needed for a confession scene.
The transition from Marta and Blanc sitting in the waiting room to driving to the Thrombey estate feels abrupt and could benefit from a smoother transition.
The dialogue between Marta and Blanc feels somewhat expository and could be more emotionally charged to convey the weight of the confession and the impact on the characters.
The revelation of Fran's cryptic message and the discovery of the toxicology report could be more climactic and impactful to heighten the suspense and intrigue of the scene.
The interaction between Marta and the Thrombey family lacks depth and emotional resonance, especially considering the gravity of the information being shared.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Add more emotional depth and tension to the dialogue between Marta and Blanc to convey the weight of the confession and the impact on the characters.
Consider building up the suspense and intrigue surrounding Fran's cryptic message and the discovery of the toxicology report to create a more climactic and impactful moment.
Enhance the transition between scenes to create a smoother flow and maintain the momentum of the narrative.
Explore the emotional dynamics between Marta and the Thrombey family to add depth and complexity to their interactions.
Consider adding more visual and sensory details to enhance the atmosphere and mood of the scene, making it more engaging for the audience.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIVING ROOM

The family gathered, impatient. Lieutenant Elliott and
Trooper Wagner are there too, with another uniformed
officer. Ransom sits in the corner, his face passive.

Marta gulps. Blanc is a few steps behind her. As she
speaks, he unfolds and reads the tox report.

MARTA
Um. You guys have always been good
to me.
(MORE)
113.

MARTA (cont'd)
And what I'm about to say isn't going
to be easy, and you're going to be
upset, but especially after
everything you've gone through the
past few days, I thought you deserved
to hear it from me.

Walt smiles at her, "you're doing the right thing." Marta
takes a deep breath.

Blanc has finished reading the report. He refolds it
carefully.

MARTA (cont'd)
I -

BLANC
Excuse me. You have not been good to
her. You have all treated her like
shit to steal back a fortune that you
lost and she deserves. You're a pack
of bloody vultures at the feast, but
you're not getting bailed out, not
this time.
(beat)
Ms. Cabrera has decided definitively
not to renounce the inheritance.

WALT
What?

MARTA
What?

BLANC
Furthermore it will be my
professional recommendation to the
local authorities that the manner of
death in the case of Harlan Thrombey
is ruled as suicide, and the case is
closed.

RANSOM
What?

MARTA BLANC
What? No, Blanc - Thank you all for coming
goodbye.

He firmly guides Marta out by the elbow. A beat of silence.

RICHARD
Is anybody else confused?
114.

As the family breaks out in hubub, Linda notices her dad's
OLD BASEBALL on the side table where Blanc left it. What's
that doing here? She picks it up.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Confrontational, Revealing

Summary In the living room, the family, officers, and Marta gather. Marta refuses to renounce the inheritance. Blanc reveals Harlan's death as a suicide, leaving the family in shock. Linda spots her father's baseball, hinting at further mysteries.

Strengths

Tension-filled dialogue
Emotional depth
Revelatory moments
Character development

Weaknesses

Some confusion among the family members

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear resolution or climax, leaving the audience feeling unsatisfied.
The dialogue feels forced and unnatural, especially Blanc's sudden outburst and decision to abruptly end the scene.
The emotional impact of Marta's confession and Blanc's revelation about Harlan's death being ruled a suicide is lost in the chaotic and rushed nature of the scene.
The family's reactions to the shocking news are not fully explored or developed, leading to a lack of depth in their characters.
The transition from Marta's confession to Blanc's sudden decision to close the case feels abrupt and disjointed.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider building up the tension and emotional stakes in the scene by allowing the characters to react more naturally to Marta's confession and Blanc's revelation.
Provide more context and depth to the family members' reactions to the news, allowing for a more impactful and meaningful resolution.
Revisit the dialogue to make it more authentic and reflective of the characters' personalities and relationships.
Consider extending the scene to allow for a more gradual and satisfying resolution to the central conflict.
Focus on creating a more cohesive and logical progression of events to ensure a smoother flow in the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIBRARY

Blanc steers Marta into the library, as sounds of hubub and
shouting come from the other room.

MARTA
What the hell? I want to come clean,
this is over -

BLANC
Almost.

Elliott bursts in, motions to the living room, then Marta,
then Blanc.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
What - with - what?

BLANC
I'm sorry, could you - officer
Wagner!

Wagner enters.

BLANC (cont'd)
Please keep the family out of this
room and get them out of the house if
you can. But stand by with your
additional officer.

TROOPER WAGNER
Get the family out?

BLANC
Yes but not all of them.

Blanc whispers something to Wagner, who nods and exits.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Drama.

BLANC
Indulge me.

MARTA
Blanc I just want the truth to come
out
115.

BLANC
The truth! Yes! The truth, you have
brought the truth to light my Watson,
just as I suspected you would. Have
a seat, please.

Marta sits. Elliott remains standing.

MARTA
I told Ransom, Ransom told you, I'm
telling you now - it is an immovable
fact that I killed Harlan.

BLANC
Yes you did, yes he did, yes you are,
but. But. I spoke in the car about
the hole at the center of this donut.
And yes, what you and Harlan did that
fateful night seems at first glance
to fill that hole perfectly. A donut
hole in the donut's hole. But we
must look a little closer. And when
we do, we see that the donut hole has
a hole in its center - it is not a
donut hole at all but a smaller donut
with its own hole, and our donut is
not whole at all!

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Blanc I can tell you're enjoying this
but -

BLANC
Why. Was. I. Hired? The answer to
your question "why are we here" is an
question itself, it is time to answer
it. Why would someone hire me?

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Someone fishing for any crime that
could help reverse the will.

BLANC
I was hired before the sealed will
was read. Yes, the person must have
known the contents of the will. But
one step further - that same person
must have known a crime was
committed, and further, if the intent
was to reverse Marta's inheritance,
they must have known that Marta was
responsible.
(MORE)
116.

BLANC (cont'd)
(beat)
An intriguing combination of factors.
Someone who knew what Marta did,
wanted to expose it, but could not
reveal how they knew.

MARTA
Fran? She was blackmailing me, she
knew what I did

BLANC
But Fran wanted money, ergo she did
not want the crime exposed.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Did someone in the family see Marta
doing something suspicious?

BLANC
They would have had no reason to not
speak up. No. The answer is not so
simple.

Blanc sits, suddenly weary.

BLANC (cont'd)
Now with the entire solution in my
field of view, the arc of this case
is a tragedy of errors. And Marta,
it will not be easy to hear. But
there is at least one truly guilty
party behind it all, guilty in the
true sense of acting with malice, and
committing a heinous crime with
selfish intent.
(calls)
Trooper Wagner.

MARTA
(stunned)
Trooper Wagner??

Blanc squints at her. No.

A moment later Wagner leads Ransom in. Ransom looks at
Marta softly, sadly.

RANSOM
Marta I'm sorry. I told them
everything, I figured it was all up.
I'm sorry.
117.

MARTA
It's alright Ransom, I'm glad you
did.

BLANC
Not exactly everything though.

MARTA
Is this about what Greatnana told
you? She saw me that night, she
mistook me for Ransom

BLANC
We'll get to that. But first, Mr.
Hugh Ransom Drysdale, you might tell
us all why you hired me.

RANSOM
Why I hired you?

BLANC
You're right, let's back up. To the
night of the party. Your argument
with Harlan. What were the overheard
words by the Nazi child masturbating
in the bathroom - "my will" and "I'm
warning you." You and Harlan were
"drama mamas," you shared a love of
twisting the knife into one another.
I don't believe he would have slipped
it in halfway - no, I submit that
Harlan told you everything.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Intriguing, Suspenseful, Intense, Revealing

Summary In the library, Blanc accuses Ransom of knowing about the crime and hiring him for a specific reason. Ransom confesses to knowing everything Harlan told him, leading to further revelations in the case.

Strengths

Compelling dialogue
Intriguing plot twists
Complex characters

Weaknesses

Some dialogue may be overly verbose
Complexity of the plot may be challenging for some viewers to follow

General Critique

The dialogue between Blanc, Marta, and Lieutenant Elliott is overly verbose and convoluted, making it difficult for the audience to follow the conversation.
Blanc's monologue about the 'donut hole within a donut hole' analogy feels forced and detracts from the clarity of the scene.
The scene lacks emotional depth and fails to effectively convey the gravity of the situation, especially considering the revelation of Ransom's involvement.
There is a lack of tension and suspense in the interaction between the characters, diminishing the impact of the unfolding events.
The transition between different topics and revelations feels abrupt and disjointed, making it challenging for the audience to fully engage with the scene.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Simplify the dialogue to make it more concise and impactful, focusing on key points that drive the narrative forward.
Consider restructuring the scene to build tension and suspense, especially with the revelation of Ransom's confession.
Add emotional depth to the interactions between the characters, particularly Marta and Ransom, to enhance the dramatic impact of the scene.
Clarify the purpose of Blanc's monologue and ensure that it serves to illuminate the central mystery rather than confuse the audience.
Work on smoother transitions between different revelations and plot points to create a more cohesive and engaging scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. SMALL STUDY - NIGHT OF PARTY

Ransom and Harlan face each other.

RANSOM
You can't be serious.

HARLAN
Not a red dime or word of my work to
a single one of them, you included.

INT. LIBRARY

BLANC
Marta, remind me what Ransom said his
conversation with Harlan ended with.
118.

MARTA
Harlan told him that I could beat him
in GO.

BLANC
And I asked myself - Marta? Why
would the topic of the will have
steered around to Marta? There is
one obvious explanation...

INT. SMALL STUDY - NIGHT OF PARTY

RANSOM
You are not this crazy. You would
not just throw your fortune away

HARLAN
No. I'm giving it to Marta. All of
it.

RANSOM
Ha. To your Brazilian nurse are you
goddamn insane.

HARLAN RANSOM
I'm sane for the first time I'm going to stop this
in my life and I've done it Harlan, I -
I've made the change to my
will it's done

RANSOM (cont'd)
I'm warning you!

Push into a vent in the wall.

INT. LIBRARY

RANSOM
That is some heavy duty conjecture.

BLANC
Granted. But it's the only way what
comes next makes sense. So you storm
out, you drive off into the night.
You tell Marta later of what was it,
feeling an overwhelming sense of...

MARTA
Clarity. That he has to make do for
himself from here on out.
119.

BLANC
Exactly.

EXT. NORFOLK ROADS - NIGHT OF PARTY

Ransom's Porsche SKIDS TO A STOP on the side of the empty
road. Sits idling.

BLANC (V.O.)
Marta. The will. Harlan. "You
won't get away with this." Do for
yourself. And a plan forms. A very
simple, very easy plan.

A beat. Then the Porsche roars into a skidding U-TURN and
drives back the way it came.

EXT. PRIVATE ROAD - NIGHT OF PARTY

Ransom's Porsche kills its lights and drives slowly down the
private road, hooking a left at the CARVED ELEPHANT that
marks the utility road.

BLANC (V.O.)
You return to the house, careful to
avoid the gate's security camera
range.

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT OF PARTY

The Porsche parked, Ransom hacks his way through the woods.

BLANC (V.O.)
Then on foot up towards the house,

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE SIDE YARD - NIGHT OF PARTY

The party is still going on inside. Ransom slips through
the side gate, up towards the house, and up the trellis.

BLANC (V.O.)
You sneak in, up the trellis so as
not to be seen by the rest of the
family, who are still having their
party downstairs.
120.

INT. THIRD FLOOR LANDING - NIGHT OF PARTY

The painting wall swings aside, and Ransom climbs through,
leaving mud traces on the sill and the carpet. He heads
straight down the narrow hall and into Harlan's bedroom.
The party din from downstairs.

BLANC (V.O.)
What you need to do will take
moments. But it is essential you are
alone, and undetected.

Ransom disappears into the darkened doorway.

BLANC (V.O.) (cont'd)
You knew the medications Harlan took.
You knew what Marta would be
injecting him with that night. And
you knew if Marta was responsible for
his death, even unintentionally, the
slayer rule would nullify the changed
will, and you would get your share
back.

INT. HARLAN'S BEDROOM

Dark and still. Marta's medical bag, open. Ransom has
unwrapped two syringes and has the two vials out - the
Toradol and the morphine (the "good stuff.")

Using the syringes he extracts the liquid from both vials...
and then injects the liquids back into the opposite vials.
He SWITCHES THE MEDICATIONS.

BLANC (V.O.)
You use the syringes in the kit to
switch the liquids in the two
medication vials. And as a final
precaution, you take the Naloxone,
the life saving antidote.

Replacing the vials he takes an injection pen, closes the
bag up and leaves.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Confrontational

Summary Ransom confronts Harlan about the will, discovering Harlan's fortune is left to Marta. Despite Harlan's insistence of sanity, Ransom threatens him. Returning later, he switches Harlan's medications, taking the antidote, and leaves undetected.

Strengths

Intriguing plot twists
Emotionally charged dialogue
Complex character dynamics
High stakes and tension

Weaknesses

Some elements of the plot may be overly convoluted for some viewers

General Critique

The scene transitions between different locations and timelines quite abruptly, which can be confusing for the audience.
The dialogue between Ransom and Harlan feels a bit forced and lacks depth, making it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters.
The voice-over narration by Blanc is informative but may be too heavy-handed, spelling out the actions and motivations of Ransom in a way that feels unnatural.
The visual descriptions are lacking in detail, making it hard to visualize the scene and fully immerse in the story.
The scene lacks emotional depth and intensity, especially considering the gravity of the actions being taken by Ransom.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to flow more smoothly between locations and timelines, providing clearer transitions for the audience.
Work on developing the dialogue between Ransom and Harlan to make it more engaging and reflective of their characters' motivations and emotions.
Try to incorporate the voice-over narration more subtly, allowing the actions and dialogue to speak for themselves without being overly explained.
Enhance the visual descriptions to create a more vivid and immersive setting for the audience to visualize.
Focus on building the emotional intensity of the scene, especially during pivotal moments like Ransom's actions in Harlan's bedroom, to create a more impactful and engaging narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIBRARY

Marta is stunned, she can't even process this.

MARTA
No, no that's impossible.
121.

BLANC
It is the truth. Hand me that vial
of morphine, I'll show you.

Blanc has placed two identical vials on the table behind
Marta. Her mind is still spinning, she glances at them,
takes one and absently hands it to him.

MARTA
If he did that, if the meds were
switched, then when I got them mixed
up...
(oh my god)
I accidentally switched them back.
But then I gave Harlan

BLANC
The correct doses. Yes. But not
accidentally. I taped over the
labels of these two vials.

Blanc shows white tape over the one she just handed him.
Picks up the other vial, shows the same.

BLANC (cont'd)
The vials themselves are identical.
How did you know that this was the
morphine?

MARTA
I... just knew

BLANC
You knew because there is the
slightest, almost imperceptible
difference of tincture and viscosity
between the liquids. You knew
because you had done it a hundred
times. You gave him the correct
medication. Because you are a good
nurse.

MARTA
Then Harlan was...

BLANC
I'm sorry Marta. But yes. Harlan
was perfectly fine.

He unfolds the tox report and hands it to her.
122.

BLANC (cont'd)
His blood was normal. The cause of
death was truly, solely suicide, and
you are guilty of nothing but some
damage to the trellis and a few
amateur theatrics. In fact if he had
listened to you, he would be alive
today.

Marta is white as a ghost. She shudders, buckles over.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
My lord.

BLANC
A twisted web, and we are not
finished untangling it. Not yet.
Marta when Greatnana spotted you
climbing down the trellis she said

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE SIDE YARD - NIGHT OF PARTY

Marta facing Greatnana, who says:

GREATNANA
Ransom? Are you back again already?

BLANC (V.O.)
Are you back again already, because
earlier that night -

CUT TO: the exact same scene but RANSOM hops down off the
trellis, and is startled by Greatnana staring at him.

GREATNANA
Ransom, you're back!

He puts his finger to his lips - shhh, and blows a kiss as
he walks off into the night.

INT. LIBRARY

Marta with her fingers on her temples, still unbelieving.

RANSOM
Marta c'mon.
(to Blanc)
This is stoopid with two o's and you
don't have a shred of evidence,
you're just spinning a fairy tale.
123.

BLANC
Not a shred no, just as we have no
real proof of Marta's mixing up the
vials so it's your word against -

RANSOM
You have her confession!

The sharpness of this makes Marta look at Ransom for the
first time.

BLANC
Ah right, we do have that. If you'll
indulge me, I'd like to spin a little
further.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE SIDE YARD - NIGHT OF PARTY - FLASHBACK

Moonlit, silent.

BLANC (V.O.)
Much later that night you would have
to come back to the house, to break
back in and retrieve the
incriminating tampered vials.

A dark figure, Ransom, approaches the side gate. But when
he opens it, the two dogs come bounding across the lawn,
barking loudly.

BLANC (V.O.) (cont'd)
However, this time the dogs were
outside. They barked. Waking Meg.

A light goes on upstairs. The dogs keep barking, paws on
the gate. Ransom backs off.

BLANC (V.O.) (cont'd)
No matter. You'll get the vials
tomorrow.

INT. LIBRARY

BLANC
Oh I can only imagine when you woke
up the next morning and got the news
not of a medical error and guilty
nurse, but of a slit throat and
suicide!? But I LOVE imagining it.
Confusion! Terror! What did you
feel? What did you think?
(MORE)
124.

BLANC (cont'd)
Well there's only one thing you could
have thought: That you underestimated
Ms. Cabrera, and that she covered up
her assumed crime by faking Harlan's
suicide. Yes?

INT. RANSOM'S APARTMENT LIVING ROOM - DAY

A nervous Ransom tears a clipping from the local newspaper
about Harlan's death, stuffs in it an envelope with a huge
fold of cash, and addresses it to Blanc. The New Yorker
profile open on the couch.

BLANC (V.O.)
So the circumstances are perfect for
the anonymous hiring of a me: you
know a crime has been committed by
Marta, you need her to be caught for
it, you cannot reveal how you know.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Revealing, Confrontational

Summary Marta discovers that Harlan's death was a suicide due to her accidental medication switch. Blanc suspects Ransom's involvement but faces a lack of evidence, leaving the case unresolved.

Strengths

Intense dialogue
Revealing plot twists
Suspenseful atmosphere

Weaknesses

Some elements may be slightly predictable

General Critique

The scene is filled with tension and reveals crucial information about Marta's innocence and Ransom's guilt, but it could benefit from more emotional depth and character development.
The dialogue between Blanc and Marta is informative but lacks emotional impact. Adding more emotional reactions from Marta, such as shock, relief, or disbelief, could enhance the scene.
The flashback sequences are effective in providing context, but they could be integrated more seamlessly into the narrative to avoid abrupt transitions.
The scene could benefit from more visual cues to enhance the storytelling, such as showing Marta's internal struggle or Ransom's guilt through their body language and facial expressions.
The confrontation between Blanc and Ransom is intense, but it could be further developed to explore the characters' motivations and inner conflicts.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more emotional depth to Marta's reactions to the revelations, showing her internal turmoil and relief at being cleared of guilt.
Integrate the flashback sequences more smoothly into the narrative by using visual cues or transitions to indicate shifts in time.
Enhance the dialogue between Blanc and Ransom to delve deeper into their motivations and conflicts, adding layers to their characters.
Include more visual storytelling elements to convey the characters' emotions and inner struggles, enhancing the impact of key moments in the scene.
Focus on character development to create a more engaging and immersive experience for the audience, allowing them to connect with the characters on a deeper level.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIBRARY

BLANC
Enter Benoit Blanc.

Elliott can't help but roll his eyes.

LIEUTENANT ELLIOTT
Alright Benny wrap it up.

BLANC
The body was discovered early the
next morning. The police, the
medical examiners, the family,
everyone swarms in,
(to Ransom)
and there is no possible way you can
get to Marta's medical bag to remove
the vials. You must wait for your
moment, when the investigation is
over and you know the house will be
empty. And that is why you missed
the funeral.

INT. THIRD FLOOR LANDING - AFTERNOON - FLASHBACK

Ransom bounds up the stairs, climbs under the POLICE TAPE
blocking Harlan's study, and enters.
125.

BLANC (V.O.)
there is no one home to wonder why
you're going into Harlan's study. Or
so you think. But the funeral... was
for family only.

Fran comes around the corner, spots Ransom and is about to
say something, but doesn't.

BLANC (V.O.) (cont'd)
Poor Fran. She witnessed you
tampering with Harlan's medication in
the medical bag. She did not know
what you were doing. But she knew
you were up to no good. And so her
mind begins to turn.

Ransom pockets the two incriminating vials from the medical
bag and replaces the Naloxone pen. When he stands to go she
retreats.

INT. LIBRARY

MARTA
Oh god that movie she told me about,
with Danica McKellar, that's what she
was talking about -

BLANC
She loved Harlan. She hates Ransom.
So the poor girl decides to test her
theory and make this asshole pay.
She gets a copy of the toxicology
report, I will be honest I have no
idea how

MARTA
She has a cousin - she told me, she
has a cousin who works as a
receptionist at the examiners office!

BLANC
Well voila. The numbers mean nothing
to her, but if Ransom is guilty its
existence is a threat, so she
photocopies the header and makes her
blackmail note.

MARTA
So why did she send it to me?
126.

BLANC
She did not. She sent it to Ransom.

INT. RANSOM'S LIVING ROOM - DAY - FLASHBACK

Ransom walks in sorting mail - finds the blank envelope,
reads the blackmail note inside, and slowly grins.

BLANC (V.O.)
And when Ransom first gets it, what
is his reaction? Elation! He still
thinks Marta gave Harlan the tampered
drugs! A blood tox report will prove
Marta's guilt!

INT. LIBRARY - DAY - FLASHBACK

The will reading, the family assembled. Ransom sits in
back, a sly smile on his face as the will is read.

BLANC (V.O.)
He goes to the will reading in high
spirits, ready to see the family tear
themselves apart, secure in the
knowledge that it will all be undone
when the tox report comes to light.
And then...

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Beers stacked up. Marta has just confessed. Ransom's face
is unreadable.

BLANC (V.O.)
Marta's confession. And everything
turns on its head. Now he realizes
that Marta has committed no crime,
and the tox report will prove her
innocence. The changed will is going
to stand. He has lost. Unless.

INT. LIBRARY

Blanc rounds on Ransom.

BLANC
Unless you decide.
127.

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Ransom giving Marta his pep talk -

RANSOM
...you're not giving up your family's
fortune!

INT. LIBRARY

BLANC
You are not giving up the family
fortune.

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

RANSOM
You've come this far!

INT. LIBRARY

BLANC
You have come this far. Just one
step further. Just one last act, in
for a penny, in for a pound. You
decide. You are in.

CLOSE ON: A lighter ignites a rag stuffed in a tin gas can.

THE CAN: Being thrown through a window in a brick wall.

INT. MEDICAL EXAMINERS OFFICE MORGUE - FLASHBACK

Empty, dark. The flaming can falls in slow motion from the
high window. Hits the floor, ignites.

BLANC (V.O.)
Step one: destroy all evidence of
Marta's innocence.

The flames dance in the reflection of a glass case of
refrigerated BLOOD SAMPLES.

BLANC (V.O.) (cont'd)
Step two:
128.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Intriguing, Dramatic

Summary Benoit Blanc exposes Ransom Drysdale's involvement in Harlan Thrombey's murder. Ransom had retrieved incriminating vials from Harlan's medical bag, and Marta Cabrera blackmailed him with a copy of the toxicology report. Ransom attempted to destroy the report by setting fire to the medical examiner's office. Blanc confronts Ransom, who confesses to the crime.

Strengths

Intriguing plot twists
Sharp dialogue
Intense conflict
Complex character dynamics

Weaknesses

Some elements may be confusing for viewers who have not followed the entire story arc

General Critique

The scene transitions between different locations and time periods, which can be confusing for the audience. It may benefit from clearer visual cues or transitions to indicate the shifts in time and setting.
The dialogue between Blanc, Marta, and Ransom is crucial for revealing the plot twists and character motivations. However, some of the dialogue feels a bit expository and could be more subtly integrated into the scene.
The flashback sequences provide important context for the audience, but the transitions between the present and past events could be smoother to enhance the flow of the scene.
The scene relies heavily on voice-over narration to convey information, which can be a passive way of storytelling. Consider incorporating more active visual storytelling techniques to engage the audience.
The climax of the scene, where Ransom decides to take drastic action, could be more impactful with heightened tension and suspense building up to the final reveal.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider restructuring the scene to improve the clarity of the timeline and locations, making it easier for the audience to follow the narrative.
Work on refining the dialogue to be more natural and character-driven, avoiding excessive exposition and focusing on subtext and character dynamics.
Experiment with different editing techniques to seamlessly transition between different time periods and locations, creating a more cohesive storytelling experience.
Explore visual storytelling methods such as symbolism, framing, and lighting to enhance the emotional impact of key moments in the scene.
Build up the tension and suspense leading to Ransom's decision, creating a more dramatic and compelling climax for the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. RANSOM'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT / DAY?

CLOSE ON: The BLACKMAIL NOTE - at the bottom is written
"1209 COLUMBUS ROAD 8AM" A hand TEARS this bottom part off,
then puts the top half in an envelope.

BLANC (V.O.)
Send Marta the anonymous email with a
late morning rendezvous time,

CLOSE ON: An email addressed to Marta being typed on a
phone, "1209 COLUMBUS ROAD 10AM"

INT. APARTMENT BACK HALLWAY - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

Ransom creeps down the hall, slips the ENVELOPE into the
letter slot of Marta's door.

BLANC (V.O.)
and deliver her the blackmail note.

EXT. 1209 COLUMBUS ROAD - MORNING - FLASHBACK

Ransom's Porsche pulls up. He gets out, pulling on gloves.

BLANC (V.O.)
Step three: keep your appointment
with Fran.

INT. 1209 COLUMBUS ROAD - 8AM - FLASHBACK

Fran standing in the middle of the room, nervous. She turns
as Ransom walks in and strides towards her.

FRAN
I knew it. I knew you were a no good
son of a bitch, I knew Harlan
wouldn't have just killed himself.

RANSOM
Yes, you were right Fran.

Ransom sees the medical bag on the floor, kneels and pulls
something out of it.

FRAN
I knew you were guilty as shit. Now
you're gonna pay for it don't come
near me I'm warning you I -
129.

But he's upon her, hand over her mouth, stifling her scream
as he pushes the syringe into her neck and PUSHES THE
PLUNGER.

MINUTES LATER - her inert body in the chair. He fishes
through her pockets, finds the envelope, and takes the TOX
REPORT from it, leaves the empty envelope in her hands.

On his way out: lights the tox report on fire, drops it
burning next to Marta's bag. We stay with it as it burns
away.

BLANC (V.O.)
Now the board is set. Marta will get
the blackmail note. You will put the
pieces together for her - the tox
report, her one chance at getting
away with it all. You'll guide her
to the rendezvous. You'll make an
anonymous call to the police, they
will catch her there with the body
and the burned evidence. Marta will
be arrested for killing Fran... and
Harlan.

INT. LIBRARY

MARTA
Oh my god. She said -

INT. 1209 COLUMBUS ROAD - FLASHBACK

Marta holding Fran on the floor, her dying words -

FRAN
you... did this...

INT. LIBRARY

MARTA
She didn't say "you did this," she
wasn't talking about me, she said

INT. 1209 COLUMBUS ROAD - FLASHBACK

Exact same moment but this time we hear -

FRAN
Hugh... did this...
130.

INT. LIBRARY

MARTA
Hugh. Cause you made the help call
you Hugh. Cause you're an asshole.

BLANC
(to Ransom)
It would have worked. If we hadn't
brought you in for questioning, so
you could not make your anonymous
call. And if Fran had not stashed a
safety copy of the tox report.

INT. 1209 COLUMBUS ROAD - FLASHBACK

Marta turns away from the dying Fran.

BLANC (V.O.)
And if Marta had not outplayed you
once again.

Marta turns back, calls 911, gives mouth to mouth to Fran.

BLANC (V.O.) (cont'd)
By having a kind heart. By saving
Fran's life, though it meant her
losing the inheritance and going to
jail. She didn't play your game, she
saved Fran's life.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Emotional, Revealing

Summary Ransom tears the blackmail note, emails Marta a rendezvous, and frames Marta for Fran's murder. However, Marta realizes Fran meant Hugh, calls 911, and saves Fran, foiling Ransom's plan.

Strengths

Suspenseful atmosphere
Emotional depth
Revealing character dynamics

Weaknesses

Complexity of plot may require close attention from the audience

General Critique

The scene transitions between different locations and time periods can be confusing for the audience to follow.
The dialogue between Ransom and Fran feels a bit cliched and lacks depth in terms of character development.
The actions of Ransom, such as killing Fran and burning the toxicology report, seem rushed and lack a sense of real tension or suspense.
The voice-over narration by Blanc can be excessive and may detract from the impact of the visuals and dialogue in the scene.
The revelation about Hugh being the one Fran was referring to feels a bit forced and could have been integrated more smoothly into the narrative.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider simplifying the scene by focusing on one location and time period to avoid confusion.
Work on developing more nuanced and realistic dialogue between Ransom and Fran to add depth to their interactions.
Build up the tension and suspense in Ransom's actions by adding more detail and description to make the scene more engaging.
Use voice-over narration sparingly and only when necessary to enhance the storytelling, rather than relying on it too heavily.
Integrate the revelation about Hugh more organically into the scene to make it feel like a natural part of the narrative.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIBRARY

For the first time, Ransom looks afraid.

RANSOM
Fran's alive?

Marta's phone starts to ring. They all see the caller id -
it's the hospital.

BLANC
(to Marta)
Oh yes. Fran, who will confirm this
fairy story or something close to it.
(to Ransom)
And will send you to jail.

She answers the call, puts the phone to her ear.
131.

MARTA
Yes.

A long beat, then her face breaks in relief.

MARTA (cont'd)
Yes. Thank you doctor, that's great
news, we'll be there soon.

She hangs up. And smiles with radiant joy.

MARTA (cont'd)
Oh thank god.
(to Blanc)
She's ready to talk.

Ransom stares at Marta, his face a mask.

BLANC
Trooper Wagner, if you would keep Mr.
Drysdale in custody while Lieutenant
Elliott, Ms. Cabrera and myself go to
the hospital to take Fran's
statement.

Ransom stands. Steps to Marta, who's frozen, looking in his
eyes. His poker face breaks. And he grins.

RANSOM
I want to say this just to you, not
to a courtroom of cameras, just to
you because you know it's the truth:
we allowed you into our home. We
allowed you to take care of granddad,
to be part of our family and now you
think you can steal it from us? You
think I'm not going to fight for our
birthright, our home, our ancestral
family home?

BLANC
Harlan bought this house in the
eighties. From a Pakistani real
estate baron.

RANSOM
Oh go to hell, you child. You think
you got me cause Fran's alive. But
Fran's alive, so what have you got me
for? So I get attempted murder -
(MORE)
132.

RANSOM (cont'd)
(to Blanc)
I stuck the needle in her chest by
the way, but your version is better,
I should have done the neck -
(to Marta)
I get arson for the bombing, maybe a
few other charges, with a good lawyer
I'll be out before you know it.

Face to face, Ransom's face hateful, Marta's strong and set.

RANSOM (cont'd)
And then you'll see just how much
hell I can wreak on your life, you
vicious little bitch.

But then... Marta's face starts to do things. Odd things.
Convulses. Her jaw clenches. Her cheeks bulge.

And the PROJECTILE VOMITS into Ransom's face.

RANSOM (cont'd)
AUGH! WHAT THE SHIT!

He falls back cursing, she drops to her knees, spitting.
Wagner, inappropriately excited:

WAGNER
Oh my god that means she was lying!

MARTA
Yes, Fran's dead.
(to Ransom)
And you just confessed to her murder.

Ransom takes this in. Then he smirks.

RANSOM
Well. In for a penny...

In one fluid motion he spins to the ornamental WALL OF
KNIVES, grabs one -

BLANC
No!

and TACKLES MARTA...

Time slows as Blanc and Elliott lunge to stop him but it's
too late -

Ransom and Marta fall together, his arm arcing down
133.

And as the they hit the ground his arm comes down

PLUNGING THE KNIFE UP TO THE HILT IN HER CHEST.

They lie still, breathing hard. Her eyes wide with pain and
horror. His cold and wild.

But then she blinks. Squints.

And he cocks his head. Realizing something.

Withdraws the knife from her chest.

Its fake blade had retracted into the handle. It's a
theatrical prop.

He pumps it up and down a few times, the spring making a
pathetic toy noise.

Ransom smirks.

RANSOM
Shit

And is VIOLENTLY TACKLED out of frame by Trooper Wagner.

Leaving Marta lying on her back. Blanc shouting if she's
alright, Elliott and Wagner wrestling Ransom into cuffs, it
all fades into the background as she holds the knife and
stares at the ceiling.

INT. SMALL STUDY

CLOSE ON: Harlan's old baseball being set carefully back in
place.

By Linda. She's about to leave, but she notices the pink
envelope on the desk. Picks it up, takes out the blank
note. Seems to recognize it, and smiles sadly.

EXT. THROMBEY ESTATE FRONT DRIVE - LATER

Linda comes outside and joins the family.

Several more police cars, and an ambulance. Ransom is
loaded into the cop car. His family are held at bay by
officers, but they react in different ways -

Richard yelling at the cops. Walt sobbing, Donna collapsed
against him, Jacob on his phone.
134.

Joni staring into space, ruined. Meg talking to Lieutenant
Elliott, crying. She's just learned about Fran.

Linda watches the circus, strangely disconnected, going to
light a cigarette. With a strange smirk, she uses the flame
to warm the blank note from the office, and HIDDEN WRITING
starts to appear - a note from her father. Their secret
communication. As the letters appear, her face changes.

Genres: Mystery, Thriller, Drama
Tone: Suspenseful, Intense, Dramatic, Tense, Shocking

Summary Ransom is enraged to learn that Fran is alive and confronts Marta, accusing her of trying to steal the family home. Marta stands her ground, and Ransom confesses to murdering Fran before revealing the knife is a fake. He is arrested by Trooper Wagner, leaving Marta on the ground holding the fake knife.

Strengths

Intense dialogue
Shocking twists
Emotional depth of characters
High-stakes confrontations

Weaknesses

Some melodramatic moments
Use of violence may be off-putting to some viewers

General Critique

The scene starts with a strong emotional moment between Ransom and Marta, but the transition to the hospital call feels a bit abrupt and could be smoother.
Ransom's sudden change in demeanor from fear to aggression towards Marta could be more effectively built up to create a more impactful confrontation.
The dialogue between Ransom and Marta is intense and dramatic, but some of the lines could be more refined to enhance the tension and emotion of the scene.
The vomiting scene adds a surprising and visceral element to the confrontation, but the reaction from Trooper Wagner feels out of place and could be toned down for a more realistic response.
The use of the fake knife prop is a clever twist, but the moment could be heightened with more emphasis on the realization and reaction of both Marta and Ransom.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding more build-up to Ransom's confrontation with Marta to enhance the tension and emotional impact of the scene.
Smooth out the transition between the emotional moment with Ransom and Marta and the hospital call to create a more cohesive flow.
Refine the dialogue to make it more impactful and realistic, especially during the intense confrontation between Ransom and Marta.
Adjust Trooper Wagner's reaction to the vomiting scene to make it more believable and in line with the tone of the scene.
Enhance the moment of realization with the fake knife prop to create a more dramatic and surprising twist in the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

INT. LIVING ROOM

Marta sits, a blanket over her shoulders. An officer who's
just taken her statement walks away. Blanc approaches.

MARTA
Can I ask. At what point did you
suspect I had something to do with
Harlan's death?

BLANC
From the moment you first set foot in
front of me.

Taps her shoe. The tiny, faded spot of blood.

MARTA
Oh my god.

BLANC
I want you to remember something very
important: you won not by playing
the game Harlan's way, but yours.

Through the window she sees the family outside.

MARTA
I should help them. Right?

BLANC
I have my own opinion. But I have a
feeling you'll follow your heart.

He gives her a wink, and strolls off.

INT. FOYER - LATER

Marta shuffles to the front doorway. One last glance at
Harlan's portrait, its grin now gentle and content.
135.

EXT. FRONT PORCH / BALCONY

She stands on the threshold. Sees Blanc get into the front
door of a cruiser, and it drives off - Ransom in the back.
He looks back at her through the window.

The family out on the lawn. Not sure where to go or what to
do. They all turn to see: Marta standing very small, but
somehow not, in the doorway of her house.

Genres: Mystery, Drama, Thriller
Tone: Tense, Emotional, Reflective

Summary Officer Blanc questions Marta about her possible involvement in Harlan's murder. The discovery of a bloodstain on her shoe implicates her. Blanc advises Marta to follow her instincts and consider assisting the Thrombey family, who have gathered outside the house in uncertainty. Marta stands in the doorway, observing them, contemplating her decision.

Strengths

Emotional depth
Character development
Resolution of central mystery

Weaknesses

Some elements may feel rushed
Limited exploration of secondary characters

General Critique

The scene lacks a clear resolution or climax, leaving the audience feeling unsatisfied.
The dialogue between Marta and Blanc feels forced and lacks depth, missing an opportunity to delve into their complex relationship.
The emotional impact of Marta's realization about the bloodstain on her shoe is not fully explored, diminishing the significance of the moment.
The transition from Blanc's conversation with Marta to her contemplation of helping the family feels abrupt and disjointed.
The scene could benefit from more visual cues or actions to enhance the emotional depth and tension.

Expert Critiques

Critique by Unknown Expert

General Suggestions

Consider adding a more impactful revelation or confrontation between Marta and Blanc to create a stronger climax.
Develop the dialogue between Marta and Blanc to delve deeper into their dynamic and add layers to their interaction.
Enhance the emotional impact of Marta's realization about the bloodstain by incorporating her internal thoughts and reactions.
Smooth out the transition between Blanc's conversation with Marta and her contemplation of helping the family to create a more cohesive flow.
Introduce more visual cues or actions to heighten the emotional depth and tension of the scene.

Expert Suggestions

Suggestion by Unknown Expert

Knives Out

Overview

Unique Selling Point

AI Verdict & Suggestions

Story Facts

Script Level Analysis

Screenplay Insights

Story Critique

Characters

Emotional Analysis

Goals and Philosophical Conflict

Themes

Logic & Inconsistencies

Scene Analysis

Scene Level Percentiles

Other Analyses

Unique Voice

Writer's Craft

Memorable Lines

Tropes

World Building

Correlations

Loglines

Unique Voice

Writer's Craft

Memorable Lines

Tropes

World Building

Correlations

Loglines

Engine: Gemini

Highly Recommend

Executive Summary

Engine: Claude

Recommend

Executive Summary

Engine: GPT4

Highly Recommend

Executive Summary

Screenplay Insights:

Screenplay Story Analysis

Marta - Score: 89/100

Role

Personality

Scenes

Character Analysis Overview

Foundational Definition 9/10

Complexity And Depth 8/10

Arc Or Purposeful Stasis 9/10

Dialogue And Voice 8/10

Behavior And Choices 9/10

Relationship Dynamics 8/10

Scene Impact 9/10

Role Fulfillment 10/10

Thematic Plot Integration 9/10

Emotional Resonance 10/10

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 8

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 9

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions

Score: 10

Suggestions

Follow-up Questions