Insight Hell on Earth
In the aftermath of World War II, an Armenian family's harrowing journey from the horrors of Nazi-occupied Europe to the promise of a new life in America is a powerful story of resilience, survival, and the pursuit of the American dream.
See other logline suggestionsOverview
Unique Selling Point
Insight Hell on Earth stands out due to its focus on the Armenian experience during WWII, a relatively unexplored narrative in mainstream cinema. The screenplay's emotional depth, historical accuracy, and strong character arcs make it compelling for audiences interested in historical dramas and stories of resilience and survival.
AI Verdict & Suggestions
Ratings are subjective. So you get different engines’ ratings to compare.
Claude
Recommend
Recommend
Gemini
Consider
Consider
GPT4
Consider
Consider
Story Facts
Genres: Drama, War, Historical, Historical Drama, Family, Romance, Survival, Historical Fiction, Holocaust
Setting: The screenplay spans multiple time periods: the Armenian Genocide during WWI, World War II, and the post-war era in the 1950s, culminating in the present day (2016)., The story unfolds across multiple locations, including: Novorossiysk, Russia; Warsaw, Poland; Monowitz and Auschwitz concentration camps; Stuttgart, Germany; Funkkaserne SS Academy, Germany; Ellis Island, New York; Santa Paula and Los Angeles, California.
Themes: Survival and Resilience, Loss and Grief, Family and Love, Hope and Redemption, Cultural Identity and Belonging, The Power of Memory, The Legacy of the Holocaust, The Search for Justice, The American Dream
Conflict & Stakes: The screenplay revolves around the struggles and triumphs of the Ananian family as they navigate the horrors of war, genocide, and displacement. Ashot's primary conflict is survival, driven by his love for his family. He endures unimaginable hardships, facing the brutal realities of war, the dehumanizing conditions of concentration camps, and the uncertainties of post-war displacement. He risks everything to protect his family and finds solace in their resilience and love.
Mood: The overall mood of the screenplay is one of resilience, hope, and the enduring power of the human spirit. While the story features scenes of immense hardship and tragedy, it ultimately celebrates the strength of family, the importance of community, and the enduring search for a better life.
Standout Features:
- Unique Hook: The screenplay uses a unique blend of genres, combining historical drama, war film elements, and a heartwarming family story. This combination allows the film to appeal to a diverse audience and explore complex themes with emotional depth.
- Plot Twist: The dramatic sinking of the USS General Macre provides a thrilling and unexpected turn of events. The scene adds a layer of suspense and danger, heightening the stakes for the family and increasing the audience's investment in their survival.
- Distinctive Setting: The screenplay utilizes multiple locations, from the bleakness of concentration camps to the bustling energy of post-war Los Angeles. These contrasting settings enhance the visual storytelling and provide a visceral experience for the audience, immersing them in the characters' journey.
- Unique Character: George Mardikian, the Armenian-American philanthropist, stands out as a compelling and inspirational figure. His unwavering dedication to helping Armenian refugees adds a layer of historical significance and emotional depth to the narrative.
- Genre Blend: The screenplay seamlessly blends historical drama, war film, family drama, and romance elements. This unique blend creates a compelling narrative that appeals to a wide audience and explores complex themes with emotional depth.
Comparable Scripts: Schindler's List, The Book Thief, Life Is Beautiful, The Pianist, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, The Tattooist of Auschwitz, Sophie's Choice
Screenplay Video
The video is a bit crude as the tool is still Alpha code. Contact us if there's a problem or with suggestions.
Script Level Analysis
This section delivers a top-level assessment of the screenplay’s strengths and weaknesses — covering overall quality (P/C/R/HR), character development, emotional impact, thematic depth, narrative inconsistencies, and the story’s core philosophical conflict. It helps identify what’s resonating, what needs refinement, and how the script aligns with professional standards.
Screenplay Insights
Story Critique
Big-picture feedback on the story’s clarity, stakes, cohesion, and engagement.
Characters
Explores the depth, clarity, and arc of the main and supporting characters.
Emotional Analysis
Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Evaluates character motivations, obstacles, and sources of tension throughout the plot.
Logic & Inconsistencies
Highlights any contradictions, plot holes, or logic gaps that may confuse viewers.
Scene Analysis
All of your scenes analyzed individually and compared, so you can zero in on what to improve.
Scene-Level Percentile Chart
Hover over the graph to see more details about each score.
The screenplay excels in emotional impact and character development, showcasing the writer's intuitive strength. However, improving dialogue, conflict, and plot structure will significantly enhance the screenplay's overall potential.
Go to Scene Analysis
Analysis of the Scene Percentiles
Key Strengths
Note: The ratings are the averages of all the scenes.
- The screenplay boasts exceptional emotional impact, ranking in the 97th percentile. This suggests that your story effectively evokes powerful feelings in the audience, which is crucial for engaging viewers.
- The screenplay excels in its internal goal, achieving a remarkable 96th percentile. This indicates a clear and compelling internal journey for the protagonist, driving their actions and providing strong emotional motivation.
- The dialogue, at the 13th percentile, is a significant weakness. Focus on crafting dialogue that is natural, engaging, and reveals character. Explore using subtext, conflict, and wit to enhance your dialogue.
- The screenplay's conflict level, at the 28th percentile, needs bolstering. Increase the stakes, intensify the clashes, and ensure the conflict propels the narrative forward.
The screenplay exhibits a strong intuitive leaning, with high percentiles in emotional impact and character changes. This suggests a talent for creating relatable characters and engaging audiences on an emotional level.
Balancing Elements- While your strengths lie in character and emotional impact, the lower scores in plot and dialogue need attention. Consider incorporating stronger plot mechanics, like twists and turns, and elevating your dialogue to become more dynamic and character-driven.
- The high scores in internal goal and character changes indicate a strong focus on character arc. Aim to translate this into more engaging external conflict and raise the stakes to match the emotional power of your story.
Intuitive
Overall AssessmentThis screenplay holds significant potential, with strengths in character development and emotional impact. However, bolstering the dialogue, conflict, and plot structure will be crucial to maximize its impact and appeal to a wider audience.
How this was done: Each criteria is ranked in comparison to scripts in our Vault
(such as The Matrix, Breaking Bad, etc.) This allows you to see where you stand compared to other
produced scripts for each criteria.
How scenes compare to the Scripts in our Library
|
|
|
Percentile | Before | After |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Scene Emotional Impact | 9.0 | 98 | Women talking: 8.9 | Squid Game: 9.1 |
| Scene Internal Goal | 8.43 | 98 | V for Vendetta: 8.40 | the black list (TV): 8.45 |
| Script Structure | 8.48 | 91 | V for Vendetta: 8.47 | Joker: 8.48 |
| Scene External Goal | 7.73 | 87 | Dune Part Two: 7.70 | Ghostbusters: 7.73 |
| Script Theme | 8.80 | 85 | The Pianist: 8.70 | Pan's Labyrinth: 8.80 |
| Script Characters | 8.40 | 82 | Charlie and The Choclate Factory: 8.30 | the dark knight rises: 8.40 |
| Scene Engagement | 9.00 | 81 | The Addams Family: 8.99 | fight Club: 9.00 |
| Scene Formatting | 8.48 | 81 | V for Vendetta: 8.47 | the dark knight rises: 8.48 |
| Scene Pacing | 8.48 | 79 | Breaking Bad: 8.47 | Titanic: 8.48 |
| Scene Overall | 8.6 | 78 | American Fiction: 8.5 | face/off: 8.6 |
| Script Originality | 8.30 | 75 | American Fiction: 8.20 | the 5th element: 8.30 |
| Scene Concept | 8.3 | 70 | Silicon Valley: 8.2 | the 5th element: 8.3 |
| Scene Character Changes | 7.3 | 65 | A real pain : 7.2 | Casablanca: 7.3 |
| Scene Unpredictability | 7.57 | 61 | September 5: 7.56 | American Hustle: 7.57 |
| Scene High Stakes | 7.8 | 61 | Emilia Perez : 7.7 | Shaun of the Dead: 7.8 |
| Scene Plot | 8.1 | 57 | Silicon Valley: 8.0 | Vice: 8.1 |
| Scene Characters | 8.4 | 54 | Silicon Valley: 8.3 | True Blood: 8.4 |
| Scene Originality | 8.71 | 51 | Emilia Perez : 8.70 | a few good men: 8.71 |
| 1 | 50 | - | Get Out: 1 | |
| 1 | 50 | - | Get Out: 1 | |
| Scene Story Forward | 8.1 | 49 | Solaris: 8.0 | Erin Brokovich: 8.1 |
| Script Emotional Impact | 7.60 | 35 | A real pain : 7.50 | Breaking Bad: 7.60 |
| Scene Conflict Level | 7.2 | 35 | The wild robot: 7.1 | Bonnie and Clyde: 7.2 |
| Script Visual Impact | 7.20 | 20 | Silicon Valley: 7.10 | Erin Brokovich: 7.20 |
| Script Structure | 7.40 | 17 | Silicon Valley: 7.30 | The apartment: 7.40 |
| Script Premise | 7.50 | 17 | The substance: 7.40 | Boyz n the hood: 7.50 |
| Overall Script | 7.79 | 16 | House of cards pilot: 7.78 | LA confidential - draft: 7.79 |
| Script Conflict | 7.10 | 14 | Belfast : 7.00 | Mr Robot: 7.10 |
| Scene Dialogue | 7.3 | 11 | Stranger Things: 7.2 | Rambo: 7.3 |
Other Analyses
This section looks at the extra spark — your story’s voice, style, world, and the moments that really stick. These insights might not change the bones of the script, but they can make it more original, more immersive, and way more memorable. It’s where things get fun, weird, and wonderfully you.
Unique Voice
Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.
Writer's Craft
Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
World Building
Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.
Unique Voice
Assesses the distinctiveness and personality of the writer's voice.
Writer's Craft
Analyzes the writing to help the writer be aware of their skill and improve.
Memorable Lines
Spotlights standout dialogue lines with emotional or thematic power.
World Building
Evaluates the depth, consistency, and immersion of the story's world.
Engine: Claude
Screenplay Rating:
Recommend
Executive Summary
The screenplay 'Insight Hell on Earth' is a compelling and well-written historical drama that follows the journey of an Armenian family as they navigate the horrors of World War II and find a new life in America. The narrative is rich in detail, character development, and emotional resonance, making it a standout in the genre. The screenplay's unique selling proposition lies in its ability to seamlessly blend personal stories with the broader historical context, creating a deeply immersive and thought-provoking experience for the audience. With its strong character arcs, consistent themes, and excellent pacing, the screenplay is well-positioned to appeal to a wide range of viewers interested in stories of resilience, survival, and the immigrant experience.
Strengths
- The screenplay effectively captures the harrowing experience of the Ananian family's separation at the Warsaw train station, creating a powerful and emotionally resonant moment that sets the stage for the family's subsequent struggles and journey. high ( Scene 3 )
- The screenplay's portrayal of Klarisa's resilience and determination in the face of adversity, particularly the assault by Officer Krause, is a compelling and impactful narrative thread that highlights the harsh realities faced by the characters. high ( Scene 5 )
- The screenplay's incorporation of the Funkkaserne camp as a setting allows for the exploration of the Armenian community's collective resilience and the restoration of hope, which is a central theme throughout the narrative. high ( Scene 26 )
- The wedding sequence is a beautifully executed celebration of the characters' perseverance and the blending of cultures, showcasing the screenplay's strong sense of cultural identity and the power of community. high ( Scene 41 )
- The screenplay's effective use of flashbacks to highlight Klarisa's traumatic experiences and Ashot's haunting memories of Auschwitz adds depth and emotional resonance to the characters' journeys. medium ( Scene 42 )
Areas of Improvement
- The sequence involving the Russian soldiers and the executions could be further developed to provide a more nuanced and impactful depiction of the characters' reactions and the broader historical context. medium ( Scene 9 )
- The introduction of the tuberculosis outbreak and the subsequent response from the military could be explored in greater depth to add more tension and dramatic stakes to the narrative. medium ( Scene 24 )
- The flashback sequence involving Ashot's traumatic experiences at Auschwitz could be further developed to provide a more nuanced and powerful exploration of the character's psychological journey. medium ( Scene 37 )
MissingElements
- The screenplay could benefit from a more distinct and compelling antagonist or antagonistic force, beyond the broader historical circumstances, to create additional dramatic tension and conflict. medium ( Scene )
- While the screenplay does an excellent job of exploring the family's journey, there could be room for a more in-depth examination of the experiences and perspectives of the supporting characters, such as Erin, Gayanne, or Armen. medium ( Scene )
NotablePoints
- The screenplay's exploration of the Funkkaserne camp as a microcosm of the Armenian community's resilience and adaptation to their new circumstances is a standout element that adds depth and authenticity to the narrative. high ( Scene 28 )
- The unexpected connection between Ashot and Margo, and the revelation of their shared history, is a compelling plot twist that adds an additional layer of emotional resonance to the characters' relationships. medium ( Scene 40 )
- The wedding sequence is a beautifully crafted celebration of the characters' resilience and the blending of cultures, showcasing the screenplay's strong sense of cultural identity and the power of community. high ( Scene 41 )
Blind Spots
- Lack of Distinct Antagonist While the screenplay effectively depicts the historical and societal forces that threaten the Ananian family, it could benefit from a more distinct and developed antagonist or antagonistic force to create additional dramatic tension and conflict. This could help to further strengthen the overall narrative and character arcs. medium
Amateur Giveaways
- Uneven Pacing In a few instances, the pacing of the screenplay could be improved to maintain a more consistent and engaging flow. For example, the sequences involving the tuberculosis outbreak and the Russian soldiers' executions could be further developed to provide a more balanced and impactful narrative progression. medium
Engine: Gemini
Screenplay Rating:
Consider
Executive Summary
This screenplay has a compelling premise centered around an Armenian family's survival during World War II and their journey to America. The story is emotionally resonant and features strong character arcs, especially for Klarisa, whose transformation from innocent child to resilient survivor is deeply affecting. The screenplay excels in depicting the horrors of war and the resilience of the human spirit, but its pacing is uneven, and it suffers from some plot holes and inconsistencies. Despite these weaknesses, it shows promise and with revision could be a powerful and moving feature.
Strengths
- The screenplay effectively portrays the emotional toll of war and displacement, creating a sense of empathy for the characters. The scenes showcasing the family's resilience in the face of tragedy are particularly powerful and moving. high ( Scene 1 Scene 5 Scene 27 Scene 37 )
- The screenplay's use of music and song effectively enhances emotional moments and provides a sense of cultural identity for the characters. The scenes where Ashot plays his mandolin and Anna sings, and where Ella leads the women in a song in the concentration camp, are particularly striking. medium ( Scene 5 Scene 14 Scene 27 )
- The screenplay effectively builds tension and suspense, particularly in scenes depicting interactions with Nazi soldiers and the horrors of the concentration camps. high ( Scene 1 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 12 Scene 13 )
- The screenplay provides a strong sense of character development for Klarisa. Her journey from an innocent child to a resilient survivor who ultimately protects her family is compelling and emotionally resonant. high ( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 )
- The scene in which Anna retrieves the letter of recommendation from Erin's Bible adds a touch of dramatic irony and underscores the importance of faith and community in overcoming adversity. medium ( Scene 35 )
Areas of Improvement
- The pacing of the screenplay is uneven, particularly in the early scenes. The exposition could be streamlined, and the narrative could move more quickly to the core conflicts. high ( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 )
- Some plot threads are introduced and then left unresolved. For example, the character of Ella Bernstein's fate is never explicitly revealed, and Ashot's actions in the burning barracks are not fully explored. medium ( Scene 10 Scene 17 )
- The screenplay relies heavily on voiceover narration. While effective in conveying Klarisa's inner thoughts and providing context, it could be used more sparingly to maintain a stronger sense of narrative drive and allow for greater character agency. medium ( Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 6 Scene 8 Scene 28 Scene 30 Scene 39 )
- The dialogue occasionally feels stilted and expository. It could be more organic and reflect the characters' emotions and motivations more authentically. medium ( Scene 28 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 35 )
- While the screenplay's pacing is uneven, there is a tendency for the action to slow down in the latter half. The scenes in the Funkkaserne camp, while well-intentioned, could be streamlined to maintain a stronger sense of momentum and focus. medium ( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 9 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 )
MissingElements
- The screenplay could benefit from more internal conflict. The relationship between Ashot and Anna, while supportive, could be further explored to provide a deeper understanding of their individual struggles and their shared journey. The motivations of some characters, like Ashot, could be more fully developed. medium ( Scene 2 Scene 3 )
- The screenplay could be strengthened by the addition of more subplots. For example, the character of Simon, who is injured in the factory, could have a more developed storyline. Similarly, the relationship between Ashot and Nishan could be explored in more detail. medium ( Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 )
- The screenplay could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the impact of the Holocaust on Ashot. While the flashback scene in the recycling warehouse is powerful, it could be further developed to provide a deeper understanding of Ashot's internal struggles and his journey to healing. medium ( Scene 37 )
NotablePoints
- The scene in which Anna rescues her family at Ellis Island with the help of Erin's Bible adds a compelling element of faith and hope to the narrative. It also underscores the importance of community and the unexpected ways in which people can be connected. medium ( Scene 35 Scene 36 )
- The screenplay demonstrates an understanding of the complexities of historical events and characters, avoiding simplistic portrayals of good vs. evil. The characters are multi-faceted, and their decisions are often driven by difficult circumstances. high ( Scene 1 Scene 3 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 9 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 )
- The screenplay incorporates elements of humor and lightheartedness within the context of a serious and dramatic narrative. These moments serve to balance the intensity of the story and provide a sense of humanity and hope for the characters. medium ( Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 )
Blind Spots
- Cultural Sensitivity While the screenplay attempts to represent Armenian culture, it could benefit from greater sensitivity and accuracy. For example, the portrayal of traditional Armenian dances and music could be more authentic, and the use of Armenian language could be more nuanced. medium
- Historical Accuracy While the screenplay effectively captures the emotional weight of historical events, there are some factual inaccuracies that could be addressed. For example, the portrayal of the German soldiers at the Funkkaserne camp as being hospitable to the refugees may be inaccurate, and the portrayal of American soldiers as being universally empathetic and supportive of refugees could be considered romanticized. medium
Amateur Giveaways
- Overuse of Voiceover Narration The screenplay relies heavily on voiceover narration, which can hinder the narrative drive and character agency. It can also make the story feel less engaging and immersive. It would be more effective to convey the story primarily through dialogue and action, using voiceover narration sparingly. medium
- Lack of Internal Conflict While the screenplay depicts external conflicts, it could benefit from more internal conflict. The characters' inner struggles and motivations could be explored in greater detail to make them more complex and relatable. medium
- Clichéd Dialogue The dialogue in some scenes is clichéd and expository. For example, the dialogue between Ashot and Anna about going to America feels generic and lacks a sense of authenticity. It would be more effective to use dialogue that reveals the characters' personalities and motivations. medium
Engine: GPT4
Screenplay Rating:
Consider
Executive Summary
Insight Hell on Earth is a compelling historical drama that explores the harrowing experiences of an Armenian family during World War II and their subsequent journey to America. The screenplay excels in its emotional depth, character development, and historical accuracy. However, it could benefit from tighter pacing and more consistent thematic elements.
Strengths
- The opening scene effectively sets the tone and stakes, immediately drawing the audience into the historical context and emotional gravity of the story. high ( Scene 1 )
- The depiction of life in the Funkkaserne camp is detailed and immersive, providing a strong sense of community and resilience among the characters. high ( Scene 27 )
- The wedding scene is a powerful moment of cultural celebration and personal triumph, highlighting the characters' journey and growth. medium ( Scene 31 )
- The arrival in America is a poignant and hopeful moment, symbolizing the culmination of the characters' struggles and dreams. high ( Scene 36 )
- The flashback montage effectively ties together the emotional and narrative threads, providing a satisfying conclusion to the characters' arcs. medium ( Scene 42 )
Areas of Improvement
- The pacing in the early scenes can be tightened to maintain audience engagement and avoid dragging. medium ( Scene 3 )
- Some scenes in the concentration camp are overly graphic and may benefit from subtlety to maintain emotional impact without overwhelming the audience. medium ( Scene 8 )
- The transition between scenes can be smoother to ensure a more cohesive narrative flow. low ( Scene 19 )
- The depiction of the ship's flooding could be more concise to maintain tension and avoid redundancy. low ( Scene 33 )
- The dialogue in some scenes can be refined to avoid exposition and enhance naturalism. medium ( Scene 39 )
MissingElements
- A more consistent thematic exploration of faith and resilience could strengthen the narrative's emotional core. medium ( Scene general )
- Additional context on the historical background of the Armenian experience during WWII could enhance audience understanding and engagement. medium ( Scene general )
- More development of secondary characters could provide a richer, more layered narrative. low ( Scene general )
NotablePoints
- The opening scene's vivid imagery and strong emotional impact set a high standard for the rest of the screenplay. high ( Scene 1 )
- The depiction of the Funkkaserne camp is a standout element, providing a detailed and immersive look at the characters' lives. high ( Scene 27 )
- The arrival in America is a powerful and hopeful moment, symbolizing the culmination of the characters' struggles and dreams. high ( Scene 36 )
- The flashback montage effectively ties together the emotional and narrative threads, providing a satisfying conclusion to the characters' arcs. medium ( Scene 42 )
Blind Spots
- Pacing Some scenes, particularly in the early parts of the screenplay, drag and could benefit from tighter editing to maintain audience engagement. medium
Amateur Giveaways
- Expository Dialogue Some dialogue feels overly expository, providing information in a way that feels unnatural. This can be improved by showing rather than telling. medium
Screenplay Insights:
Overall Grade: 7.79
Characters: 8.4, The screenplay boasts strong character development, with compelling arcs for Ashot, Anna, and Klarisa, particularly highlighting their resilience and growth in the face of wartime horrors. However, opportunities exist to deepen the complexity of supporting characters and explore their individual motivations more thoroughly. This would enhance the emotional resonance and broaden the story's overall impact. See More
Premise: 7.5, The screenplay's premise has strong potential with a compelling historical backdrop and the emotional journey of a family facing wartime horrors. However, while the initial hook is solid, the narrative needs clarification and tightening to fully leverage its unique premise and ensure consistent engagement. See More
Structure: 7.4, This screenplay has a strong foundation in its historical context, showcasing the harrowing journey of an Armenian family during World War II. The plot effectively drives the characters' emotional arcs, weaving together themes of survival, resilience, and the search for humanity amidst conflict. However, the pacing could be more dynamic, with certain scenes feeling repetitive or lacking tension. Additional focus on exploring the internal conflicts of the characters and weaving in subplots could add depth to the narrative. See More
Theme: 8.8, This screenplay effectively conveys its themes of resilience, family, and the enduring human spirit in the face of unimaginable adversity. It deftly balances the horrific realities of war and genocide with moments of hope and love, creating a poignant and moving experience for the audience. However, the screenplay could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the themes of trauma, forgiveness, and the complexities of human nature, especially in relation to the actions of the German soldiers and the consequences of their choices. The script's strength lies in its ability to evoke deep emotions and leave a lasting impact. However, it could benefit from more complex explorations of the thematic nuances, particularly around the actions of the perpetrators. See More
Visual Impact: 7.2, The screenplay effectively leverages visual imagery to convey the horrors of war and the resilience of the Armenian family. The descriptions are often vivid, but could benefit from more specific details and innovative visual concepts to elevate the storytelling. See More
Emotional Impact: 7.6, The screenplay effectively utilizes suspense and emotional tension to engage the audience, particularly in scenes depicting the family's separation and their survival in harsh conditions. However, the screenplay could benefit from deeper exploration of the characters' emotional journeys and greater emotional complexity, especially in the aftermath of traumatic experiences. Expanding on the characters' inner lives and exploring their reactions to the war's impact on their identities and beliefs would enhance the emotional depth and resonance of the narrative. See More
Conflict: 7.1, The screenplay effectively establishes conflict, particularly in the early scenes depicting the Nazi occupation and Ashot's family separation. However, while the stakes are high throughout, they could be further emphasized and integrated with the conflict to create more dynamic tension and heighten the emotional impact. See More
Originality: 8.3, This screenplay showcases strong originality and creativity in its historical setting, character development, and emotional depth, offering a unique perspective on the Armenian Genocide and its aftermath. See More
Characters: 8.4, The screenplay boasts strong character development, with compelling arcs for Ashot, Anna, and Klarisa, particularly highlighting their resilience and growth in the face of wartime horrors. However, opportunities exist to deepen the complexity of supporting characters and explore their individual motivations more thoroughly. This would enhance the emotional resonance and broaden the story's overall impact. See More
Premise: 7.5, The screenplay's premise has strong potential with a compelling historical backdrop and the emotional journey of a family facing wartime horrors. However, while the initial hook is solid, the narrative needs clarification and tightening to fully leverage its unique premise and ensure consistent engagement. See More
Structure: 7.4, This screenplay has a strong foundation in its historical context, showcasing the harrowing journey of an Armenian family during World War II. The plot effectively drives the characters' emotional arcs, weaving together themes of survival, resilience, and the search for humanity amidst conflict. However, the pacing could be more dynamic, with certain scenes feeling repetitive or lacking tension. Additional focus on exploring the internal conflicts of the characters and weaving in subplots could add depth to the narrative. See More
Theme: 8.8, This screenplay effectively conveys its themes of resilience, family, and the enduring human spirit in the face of unimaginable adversity. It deftly balances the horrific realities of war and genocide with moments of hope and love, creating a poignant and moving experience for the audience. However, the screenplay could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the themes of trauma, forgiveness, and the complexities of human nature, especially in relation to the actions of the German soldiers and the consequences of their choices. The script's strength lies in its ability to evoke deep emotions and leave a lasting impact. However, it could benefit from more complex explorations of the thematic nuances, particularly around the actions of the perpetrators. See More
Visual Impact: 7.2, The screenplay effectively leverages visual imagery to convey the horrors of war and the resilience of the Armenian family. The descriptions are often vivid, but could benefit from more specific details and innovative visual concepts to elevate the storytelling. See More
Emotional Impact: 7.6, The screenplay effectively utilizes suspense and emotional tension to engage the audience, particularly in scenes depicting the family's separation and their survival in harsh conditions. However, the screenplay could benefit from deeper exploration of the characters' emotional journeys and greater emotional complexity, especially in the aftermath of traumatic experiences. Expanding on the characters' inner lives and exploring their reactions to the war's impact on their identities and beliefs would enhance the emotional depth and resonance of the narrative. See More
Conflict: 7.1, The screenplay effectively establishes conflict, particularly in the early scenes depicting the Nazi occupation and Ashot's family separation. However, while the stakes are high throughout, they could be further emphasized and integrated with the conflict to create more dynamic tension and heighten the emotional impact. See More
Originality: 8.3, This screenplay showcases strong originality and creativity in its historical setting, character development, and emotional depth, offering a unique perspective on the Armenian Genocide and its aftermath. See More
Screenplay Story Analysis
Note: This is the overall critique. For scene by scene critique click here
Summaries
- In the summer of 1942, in Novorossiysk, Russia, a family's peaceful meal is interrupted by the invasion of German military vehicles. Ashot, the father, is taken away by SS soldiers under suspicion of being Jewish. Captain Herman interrogates Ashot, who proves his Christian faith, leading to his release. The scene ends with Ashot's family being forced onto a German truck by the SS soldiers.
- The scene unfolds in the wake of a brutal massacre at a lavish estate, where the Resident Family lies dead. German soldiers take over the estate, imposing their authority through violence and intimidation. Captain Herman orders his soldiers to prepare for their stay, forcing Klarisa to hang a portrait of Hitler while removing family portraits. Meanwhile, at the harbor, citizens are being forcibly deported, including refugees marked with the Star of David. Ashot and Armen witness the brutal killing of an old man who resists deportation. Despite the looming danger, Ashot and Anna try to find solace in music and create a semblance of normalcy for their family. The scene ends with the ominous return of the soldiers, leaving the characters facing an uncertain future.
- In the chaos of a Warsaw train station, Ashot and his family are forcibly packed onto a train bound for a labor camp. As the train fills with desperate refugees, Ashot becomes separated from his daughter Klarisa. He frantically tries to reach her but is stopped by a soldier who fires a warning shot. The train departs, carrying Klarisa away, leaving Ashot heartbroken and alone, watching his family disappear into the distance.
- Ashot, desperately searching for his daughter Klarisa, learns she was likely sent to Auschwitz. Driven by hope, he volunteers for a dangerous transfer to the camp, despite knowing the grim reality of its purpose. Witnessing the chilling sight of the gas chambers and ovens upon arrival, Ashot and the other prisoners are met with the brutal authority of the guards, their fate hanging in the balance.
- In the desolate barracks of Auschwitz, women find solace in song, their fragile peace shattered when Officer Shultz snatches Ella away. He leads her and three young girls to the officers' lounge, where Ella attempts to bargain for their safety. Meanwhile, outside the gas chambers, Ashot, forced to extract gold from the dead, pleads with Shultz to find his daughter, Klarisa, who he believes was mistakenly sent to the camp. Shultz, however, shows a chilling lack of empathy, leaving both Ella and Klarisa's fates uncertain.
- In his office at Auschwitz, Commandant Muller boasts to Rudolf Hoess about the camp's expanded capacity and efficiency. He later coldly informs Officer Shultz that Ella Bernstein will be given what she desires, suggesting her imminent execution in the gas chamber. The scene's oppressive atmosphere and Muller's chilling indifference highlight the brutality of the Nazi regime and the impending tragedy for Ella Bernstein.
- At Auschwitz, Ella and Klarisa huddle together in the barracks. Officer Shultz delivers food to Ella, questioning Klarisa's presence. He announces a mandatory hygienic shower the next morning due to a disease outbreak. Meanwhile, Ashot searches for his daughter in the crematorium ashes, encountering Officer Shultz. The following day, the women are marched to the showers, but a brutal soldier stops Klarisa, kicks her, and separates her from Ella, pushing the latter into the line. The scene fades to black as Klarisa, injured and alone, watches the women disappear into the shower room.
- Klarisa, consumed by loneliness in the women's barracks, ventures outside, drawn by a desperate need for connection. She witnesses the horrifying smoke billowing from the ovens and the gas chamber in the distance. Calling out for her father, Ashot, she finds him sifting through ashes at the ovens. Overwhelmed with joy and disbelief, Ashot runs to her, momentarily forgetting his duties. A soldier attempts to stop him, but Officer Shultz allows Klarisa to join Ashot. They embrace in a moment of pure joy, reunited against all odds. Shultz instructs them to hide Klarisa and tells Ashot he will be transferred to Stuttgart the next day. Despite the looming darkness, their brief reunion offers a glimmer of hope amidst the despair.
- While repairing a broken truck, Ashot hears the distinct 'TINGLE' of his wife Anna's tea kettle as she and their son Eddie are transported by German soldiers. Recognizing the sound, Ashot sees his family through the bushes and pleads with a soldier to let him go get them. Despite initial hesitation, the soldier grants Ashot permission after the truck is fixed. Overjoyed, Ashot reunites with Anna and Eddie, and they return to the truck together, their reunion a symbol of hope in the midst of their harrowing journey.
- While Ashot plays the mandolin, Anna sings, and Klarisa dances with Eddie, Klarisa and her friend Gayanne sneak into a restricted area of the orchard to pick apples. Officer Krause catches them and, after a tense encounter, helps Klarisa down from the tree. The scene highlights the power imbalance and vulnerability of the female workers within the labor camp.
- In a harrowing scene set within a labor camp, Officer Krause, a guard, is shown brutally assaulting Klarisa, leaving her traumatized and injured. Meanwhile, another guard, Officer Vogel, abuses his power in the Daimler Benz factory, crushing Simon's hand with a stamping machine. The scene ends with the factory plunging into darkness, leaving the fate of Simon and other workers in uncertainty. The dark and disturbing events highlight the brutality and injustice of life under a totalitarian regime, leaving viewers with a sense of dread and foreboding.
- In the peaceful setting of an apple orchard labor camp, a dark turn occurs. Officer Krause, a brutal guard, attempts to assault Anna, a young woman forced to work in the orchard. Witnessing this horrific act, Anna's daughter Klarisa, fueled by fierce love and courage, intervenes. Using a skillet as a weapon, she strikes Krause, knocking him unconscious. The scene concludes with the mother and daughter facing the consequences of Klarisa's act, unsure of Krause's fate and the potential ramifications of their actions.
- Anna, Klarisa's mother, prepares her for a new life as a boy named Michael after Klarisa kills Officer Krause in self-defense. Anna cuts Klarisa's hair and gives her instructions on how to lie and maintain her disguise. She reassures Klarisa that Krause is dead and that she saved her life. The scene ends with Klarisa holding her baby brother, Eddie, and finding a moment of peace amidst the chaos.
- The scene opens in a German Daimler Benz factory, where women sew parachutes under the shadow of air raid sirens. The scene then shifts to the chaotic battle in downtown Stuttgart, where American soldiers under Lieutenant Colonel Guardhouse engage in a fierce fight with German forces. The Americans utilize artillery to overcome the resistance, with Captain Ramirez leading the charge. Amidst the violence, the scene ends on a note of humanity as George Mardikian, a quartermaster, brings a shell-shocked soldier to the mess tent and offers him comfort and food, highlighting the contrast between the horrors of war and acts of compassion.
- A day of carefree play for Klarisa, Eddie, and Gayanne at the labor camp is interrupted by the arrival of Luftwaffe fighter planes. Air raid sirens blare, sending everyone scrambling for shelter. Anna desperately tries to reach her children, but a guard stops her. Ashot, oblivious to the danger, sleeps soundly in the barracks until Anna wakes him. A bomb explodes nearby, and Ashot finally realizes the gravity of the situation. A bomb hits the factory, and Ashot, ignoring the danger, rushes back into the burning building to save those trapped inside.
- A fire engulfs a labor camp barracks, leaving Ashot to face a harrowing rescue mission. He courageously enters the burning building, saving Simon from injury and carrying him to safety. Returning to help Officer Vogel, trapped under a beam, Ashot is left helpless as the collapsing roof crushes the officer. Despite Vogel's pleas for help, Ashot is forced to escape the doomed building, marking a tragic loss amidst the chaos and flames.
- Ashot narrowly escapes the destruction of his labor camp barracks, finding refuge with his family in a bomb shelter. Upon discovering the guards have fled, they realize the Russians are in control and flee the devastated city, witnessing the brutal aftermath of war with burning corpses of German soldiers. Desperate for safety, Ashot and his family continue their perilous journey through the war-torn landscape.
- Exhausted from their journey, Ashot and his family find refuge in a dilapidated farmhouse. While Ashot searches for food, he stumbles upon a hidden stash in the pantry. Their newfound hope is quickly dashed by the terrifying sounds of explosions and gunfire outside. The family huddles in darkness, their future uncertain.
- Fearing the approaching Russian tanks, Ashot and Anna desperately seek refuge for their family. They discover a hidden cellar in a farmhouse and are aided by a young German soldier, Ludwig, who agrees to cover their entrance. Just as Russian soldiers arrive, Ashot manages to conceal the cellar with a bush, leaving their fate hanging in the balance.
- Russian soldiers search a farmhouse for resistance, unaware of Ashot, Anna, Klarisa, and Eddie hiding in the cellar. After the soldiers leave, the family emerges and escapes. Ashot introduces his family to Ludwig, a stranger, and gives him food before leaving to find his people, leaving Ludwig alone with an uncertain future.
- Ashot, Anna, and their children face dwindling supplies on their journey. A fork in the road presents a choice between Munich and Nuremberg. Ashot, hoping to find fellow Armenians, chooses Nuremberg. They arrive in a small village where Ashot encounters two men he believes are Armenian, only to discover they are Turkish. This triggers a traumatic flashback of his parents being killed by Turkish men, leaving him in a dazed state.
- Ashot, Anna, and their children travel towards Nuremberg, encountering Russian soldiers on a muddy road. Seeking shelter in a nearby forest, they witness a horrifying scene: Russian soldiers force German prisoners to dig their own graves before executing them. The brutal spectacle compels Ashot to flee with his family, highlighting the danger and violence they face in a war-torn Germany.
- After seeking shelter in a bombed-out barn during a rainstorm, Ashot and his family continue their journey through post-war Germany searching for other Armenians. They encounter a Polish family who point them towards American soldiers. These soldiers provide directions to Funkkaserne, a potential Armenian refugee camp, despite initial frustration with the interruption. The family, guided by the soldiers' advice, turns around and sets their sights on Funkkaserne, their hope for finding their community renewed.
- A Red Cross doctor, Steven Miller, arrives at the Funkkaserne SS Academy with concerns about a possible TB outbreak. He urges Private Wilson to evacuate a section of the camp, but Wilson's radio call to Lieutenant Guardhouse, who is surveying thirty clicks away, results in dismissal. Guardhouse dismisses the concern, claiming it's too difficult to evacuate, and orders inaction, leaving the potential health crisis unaddressed.
- In the overcrowded infirmary of the Funkkaserne camp, Nurse Muriel attends to dying patients, including a young Armenian girl and her mother. Meanwhile, the girl's father, Krekor, grieves silently. After his wife and daughter succumb to their illnesses, Krekor, overwhelmed by despair, hangs himself. Outside the camp, Doctor Miller pleads with Lieutenant Guardhouse to evacuate the camp due to a severe TB outbreak. Guardhouse refuses, citing a lack of resources and space, but eventually agrees to contact his commander. The scene ends on a note of uncertainty, leaving the fate of the camp's sick inhabitants unknown.
- Ashot, Anna, Klarisa, and Eddie arrive at the Funkkaserne camp seeking refuge, only to be turned away due to the camp's overcrowding and a tuberculosis outbreak. Despite the initial despair, Lieutenant Guardhouse intervenes and allows them into the camp, revealing plans for evacuation and a quarantine area in an abandoned warehouse. The scene concludes with Ashot offering to make new boots for Lieutenant Guardhouse, suggesting a sense of hope and connection despite the dire situation.
- After enduring hardships, Ashot, Anna, Klarisa, and Eddie are led by Hepseme to their new living quarters at the Funkkaserne SS Training Facility. The scene portrays a joyous atmosphere as they embrace the improved conditions, including a private toilet. The courtyard is bustling with activity, showcasing the sense of community flourishing within the camp. Friendships are rekindled, and new connections are formed. The residents are seen creating furniture, shoes, and clothing, as well as cultivating fruits and vegetables, illustrating their resilience and newfound ability to provide for themselves. The scene concludes with a montage of their daily lives, highlighting the hope and sense of security that permeates the camp.
- This scene offers a glimpse into the daily life of Armenian refugees living in the Funkkaserne Camp after World War I. Through a series of montages and voiceover narration by Klarisa Ananian, we see the camp's activities, including workshops for shoemaking, furniture making, and sewing. Ananian also describes the emotional toll of the war on the refugees, highlighting the challenges of alcoholism and mental breakdowns. Despite these hardships, the camp demonstrates a strong sense of community, with large gatherings for weddings, funerals, and the celebration of new life. The scene concludes with a focus on the camp's school, where children learn Armenian language and culture, and about the United States, symbolizing their hope for a brighter future.
- Ashot, a skilled craftsman, presents Lieutenant Guardhouse with a pair of handmade boots. Impressed by Ashot's talent, the Lieutenant offers to write a letter of recommendation, potentially paving the way for Ashot to find a job in America. Upon sharing this news with his family, excitement and hope fill the air as they envision a brighter future in a new land. Anna mentions an Armenian man named George Mardikian who is visiting the camp, suggesting a potential connection that could aid their journey to America.
- George Mardikian, a renowned Armenian restaurateur, visits the Funkkaserne camp in Germany, where he vows to bring all 2,500 displaced Armenians to the United States. He later meets with Eleanor Roosevelt, who informs him of the recently passed Displaced Persons Act, offering hope but requiring sponsors for each family. Senator Cain steps up, offering his assistance, and George accepts, setting the stage for a monumental effort to bring his people to a new life in America.
- The scene begins with Ashot and Klarisa playing music together, their joy interrupted by Anna's announcement of her pregnancy. Later, Anna and Erin pray, with Anna giving Erin her Bible, highlighting their hopes for a brighter future. A festive gathering takes place in the camp's courtyard, with Klarisa performing a lively song on the accordion while Ashot dances and plays his mandolin. Anna joins in, adding her vocals to the joyous atmosphere. The arrival of George Mardikian and Nazely brings a surge of excitement as George announces that visas to America have been secured for all the camp members. The scene ends with cheers and applause, signifying the community's shared hope and anticipation for their new life in America.
- Anna gives birth to a baby girl after a difficult labor, bringing joy and relief to the family. Ashot reveals they have received their visas and will be moving to Santa Paula, California. However, their happiness is tempered by a water leak discovered on the ship, adding a layer of uncertainty to their journey.
- As Ashot and his family enjoy a sunset on the USS General Macre, a sudden emergency unfolds. A flooded cargo hold forces passengers to evacuate, and Ashot frantically rushes back to retrieve his visa papers. Amidst the chaos and flooding, Ashot narrowly escapes with the Engineer, while the Captain and crew work desperately to evacuate passengers onto lifeboats. The scene culminates in a heart-stopping moment as Ashot leaps into the churning sea after his family, only to find himself pursued by a menacing shark.
- After surviving a shipwreck and being rescued by a kind elderly man and his grandsons, Ashot and his family are brought to Ellis Island by the Coast Guard. They are thrilled to be alive and excited about their new life in America, despite Ashot's lingering worry about their lost visa papers. As they wait among a throng of other immigrants, they catch sight of the Statue of Liberty and are called for their interview, marking the beginning of their journey into their new home.
- Ashot and his family face deportation after losing their documents in a shipwreck. Anna, desperate to save her family, retrieves a crucial recommendation letter from Commander Guardhouse hidden in her Bible. Supervisor Wallace, recognizing the letter's significance, verifies its authenticity and saves the family from being deported.
- Ashot and his family prepare to go into town with their new friend Nishan. At a large supermarket, they are overwhelmed by the abundance of food, a stark contrast to their life in Armenia. Nishan insists on paying for their groceries, despite Ashot's initial refusal. Filled with joy and gratitude for their new life in America, the family excitedly enters the supermarket, ready to explore its vast offerings.
- In a bustling 1950s Los Angeles fabric recycling warehouse, Ashot sorts through clothing, but his work is interrupted by a vivid flashback to Auschwitz. The sight of a small blue velvet baby vest discarded in the furnace triggers a wave of grief and haunting memories, causing Ashot to collapse in despair as the horrors of his past overwhelm him.
- Ashot, grieving a recent loss, is found crying by his boss, Uri, who offers him vodka and sends him to pick up fabric scraps from Margo. Their conversation about their children's upcoming marriages reveals shared anxieties about their children growing up and moving on. Ashot expresses disapproval of his daughter's young age, while Margo worries about her son's relationship. The scene ends with Ashot loading fabric scraps onto a truck, symbolizing the need to move forward despite personal struggles.
- Klarisa, heartbroken by her father Ashot's disapproval of her marriage, pleads with him to reconsider. Her mother Anna steps in to mediate, arguing for Klarisa's happiness. After a tense exchange, Ashot finally agrees to meet the boy's family, bringing relief and joy to Klarisa.
- Klarisa's parents, Margo and Peter, arrive at her house for dinner. Ashot and Anna greet them at the door, and it's revealed that Ashot and Margo know each other from Ashot's work route. The scene is full of visual details, from the Cadillac pulling up to the table laden with food. After introductions, everyone heads inside to start their meal.
- A lavish wedding reception unfolds at an Armenian Church in Los Angeles, circa 1955. The celebration is overflowing with joy and familiar faces from the Funkkaserne DP camp. Guests dance the traditional Shabash, showering the happy couple with money, and revel in a spirited Hopak Cossack dance by Ashot. Ashot, filled with pride, delivers a heartfelt toast to his daughter Klarisa, celebrating her marriage and the importance of family. The scene concludes with a warm toast, encapsulating the spirit of unity and happiness.
- Ashot gives a heartfelt speech at his daughter's wedding reception, reflecting on his own love story and celebrating the newlyweds' union. The scene then transitions to a montage of flashbacks, showcasing Klarisa's life journey from her own wedding to raising her family and sharing her wisdom with her grandchildren. The montage highlights her resilience and emphasizes the importance of faith in overcoming challenges. The scene ends with Klarisa and her family gathered around a table, symbolizing the enduring power of family and love.
CharacterInconsistencies
-
Character Ashot
Description Ashot is inconsistently portrayed as a strong, resilient character, but then he becomes incredibly passive and indecisive at times. He seems to be motivated more by plot needs than by his own personality. He's a strong man who is supposed to be a leader, yet he's constantly reacting to situations and allowing others to make decisions for him.
( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 9 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 ) -
Character Anna
Description Anna is presented as a more pragmatic and capable character, but she becomes overly passive in a few scenes, particularly when Ashot makes decisions. Her strength and initiative seem to weaken when compared to her earlier portrayal.
( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 9 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 ) -
Character Klarisa
Description Klarisa's characterization seems to shift between being a scared, innocent child and a more mature, independent young woman. The transitions are a bit abrupt, lacking a consistent emotional arc.
( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 9 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 ) -
Character Officer Krause
Description Officer Krause's actions seem to abruptly shift from being a cruel and menacing figure of authority to a bumbling fool. He is portrayed as a powerful and dangerous villain, yet he falls prey to a young girl's sudden act of violence. This inconsistency weakens the sense of danger and threat he initially presented.
( Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 )
StoryInconsistencies
-
Description The story jumps through time with no clear markers or transitions. The audience is left to piece together the timeline from fragmented scenes. The inconsistency in the pacing and progression of the narrative disrupts the flow and emotional engagement of the story.
( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 9 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 ) -
Description The sudden flashback involving Ashot's childhood and the Turk, who resembles Addai, feels jarring and disconnected from the main narrative. This abrupt shift in time and focus doesn't serve the plot or character development.
( Scene 21 Scene 22 )
PlotHoles
-
Description The scene where Ashot is sent to Auschwitz with the group of laborers is confusing. It's unclear why he would be sent to Auschwitz, given that he's already been separated from his family. The narrative doesn't explain how he was transported to Auschwitz after being separated at the train station in Warsaw.
( Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 ) -
Description The timeline and the progression of events are not logically connected. The story jumps from one event to the next without establishing a clear sense of time or continuity. For example, it's unclear how long Ashot is at Auschwitz before he's moved to the labor camp. How he gets to the labor camp is also unclear, but it seems that he is with a group of laborers transported from the train station. The events are not consistent with a realistic portrayal of life in the camps.
( Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 ) -
Description The sudden appearance of a shark near Ashot when he jumps into the ocean to save his visa papers feels out of place. There is no logical explanation for why there would be a shark in those waters, and it adds an unrealistic element of suspense to the scene. This plot point feels forced and disrupts the natural flow of the story.
( Scene 33 )
DialogueAuthenticity
-
Description The dialogue is often stilted and unnatural. The characters seem to speak in a generic, formulaic manner, lacking the nuance and authenticity that would make them feel like real people. The dialogue often feels forced and artificial, particularly in the scenes involving the American soldiers. The dialogue sometimes feels too formal for the situations.
( Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 9 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 12 Scene 13 Scene 14 Scene 15 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 20 Scene 21 Scene 22 Scene 23 Scene 24 Scene 25 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 28 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 31 Scene 32 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 35 Scene 36 Scene 37 Scene 38 Scene 39 Scene 40 Scene 41 Scene 42 )
Redundancies
-
Element The recurring theme of God and religion
( Scene 4 Scene 10 Scene 11 Scene 18 Scene 19 Scene 23 Scene 29 Scene 36 Scene 39 Scene 41 Scene 42 )
Suggestion The theme of faith and religion is repetitively emphasized throughout the script. This theme could be streamlined to create a stronger impact and avoid feeling preachy. -
Element The scene with American soldiers
( Scene 14 Scene 24 Scene 26 Scene 27 Scene 29 Scene 30 Scene 34 Scene 36 Scene 38 )
Suggestion The recurring encounters with American soldiers feel repetitive and unnecessary. These scenes could be condensed to avoid interrupting the flow of the story. The encounters with the soldiers could be streamlined and the focus could be shifted towards the Armenian family's journey. -
Element The use of the tea kettle
( Scene 5 Scene 9 Scene 10 Scene 16 Scene 17 Scene 33 Scene 34 Scene 42 )
Suggestion The tea kettle is a recurring object that represents the family's resilience. While it's symbolic, the constant appearance could be cut down to avoid over-emphasizing the symbolism. The kettle could be used at key moments in the story to emphasize its significance, creating a more impactful and memorable use of symbolism.
Characters in the screenplay, and their arcs:
| Character | Arc | Critique | Suggestions |
|---|---|---|---|
| Anna | Anna's character arc in the screenplay begins with her as a loving mother facing the challenges of war with resilience. As the story progresses, she is torn apart by the separation from her daughter and finds solace in prayer. Despite the hardships, Anna remains strong and supportive, providing emotional stability for her family. Towards the climax, Anna's determination and resourcefulness are put to the test as she must make difficult decisions to ensure her family's survival. In the resolution, Anna emerges as a symbol of hope and resilience, finding strength in her faith and love for her family. | The character arc for Anna is well-developed, showcasing her resilience and unwavering love for her family. However, there could be more depth added to her internal struggles and emotional journey throughout the screenplay. Providing more insight into Anna's fears, doubts, and personal growth would make her character arc even more compelling. | To improve Anna's character arc, consider incorporating flashback scenes or inner monologues that delve into her past experiences and emotional turmoil. This will help the audience connect with Anna on a deeper level and understand the motivations behind her actions. Additionally, exploring the complexities of Anna's relationships with other characters, such as Ashot and her daughter, can add layers to her character development and enhance the overall emotional impact of the story. |
| Ashot | Ashot's character arc in the screenplay begins with him as a devoted family man faced with impossible choices in the midst of war. As the story progresses, he evolves into a determined and resourceful father who is willing to risk everything to find his daughter. Through his journey, Ashot experiences a range of emotions from despair to hope, ultimately showcasing his resilience, courage, and unwavering commitment to his family's safety and well-being. | The character arc for Ashot is well-developed, showcasing his growth and transformation throughout the story. However, there could be more depth added to his internal struggles and emotional journey. Additionally, more emphasis could be placed on his relationships with other characters to further enhance his development and impact on the overall narrative. | To improve the character arc for Ashot, consider delving deeper into his internal conflicts and emotional turmoil. Explore his relationships with other characters, particularly his daughter and wife, to add complexity and depth to his journey. Additionally, provide more opportunities for Ashot to showcase his resilience and determination in the face of adversity, highlighting his growth and transformation throughout the screenplay. |
| Klarisa | Klarisa's character arc in the screenplay follows her transformation from a scared and vulnerable young girl to a brave and resilient individual who finds strength in the face of adversity. She starts off innocent and naive, but as she navigates the horrors of war and concentration camps, she learns to be courageous and determined. Through her experiences, she discovers her inner resilience and ability to find hope and joy in the darkest of circumstances. | The character arc for Klarisa is well-developed and showcases her growth and development throughout the feature. However, there could be more depth added to her internal struggles and emotional journey. Providing more insight into her thoughts and feelings during key moments could enhance the audience's connection to her character. | To improve Klarisa's character arc, consider incorporating more internal monologues or reflective moments where she grapples with the traumas she faces. Showcasing her emotional turmoil and inner strength in a more nuanced way can add layers to her character and make her journey even more compelling for the audience. |
| Ella | Ella starts off as a strong and defiant young woman who becomes even more compassionate and protective as she witnesses the harsh realities of the camp. Throughout the feature, she learns to balance her toughness with empathy, ultimately finding strength in her vulnerability and defiance. By the end of the story, Ella emerges as a beacon of hope and resilience for Klarisa and the other women, inspiring them to persevere despite the darkness surrounding them. | The character arc for Ella is well-developed and allows for growth and complexity. However, to enhance her arc further, it would be beneficial to explore more of Ella's backstory and motivations. Providing insight into her past experiences and personal struggles could deepen the audience's connection to her character and add layers to her development throughout the feature. | Consider incorporating flashback scenes or dialogue that reveal Ella's past traumas or challenges, shedding light on why she is the way she is and what drives her to protect Klarisa. Additionally, explore moments of internal conflict for Ella as she grapples with her own vulnerabilities and fears, showcasing her growth and resilience in the face of adversity. |
| Eddie | Eddie starts as a vulnerable child who relies on his family for protection. Through the challenges they face on their journey, he matures and becomes more resilient and adaptable. He learns to navigate obstacles with courage and determination, ultimately becoming a resourceful problem-solver who takes action to protect his loved ones. | The character arc for Eddie is well-developed, showing growth and development throughout the story. However, it could benefit from more internal conflict or emotional depth to add complexity to his journey. | To improve the character arc for Eddie, consider adding moments of internal struggle or doubt that he must overcome. This could provide more depth to his character and make his growth more impactful for the audience. Additionally, explore relationships with other characters that challenge Eddie's beliefs or force him to confront his vulnerabilities. |
| Theme | Theme Details | Theme Explanation | ||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Survival and Resilience (80%) | The story follows Ashot and his family as they endure the horrors of the Holocaust, navigate the dangers of war-torn Europe, and ultimately arrive in America. They face unimaginable hardships, including separation, loss, and the constant threat of death, but they persevere and find ways to adapt and survive. | This theme is central to the narrative, highlighting the human capacity to overcome adversity and the importance of hope in the face of despair. It underscores the enduring spirit of the human will to survive and rebuild their lives in the wake of unimaginable tragedy. | ||||||||||||
Strengthening Survival and Resilience:
| ||||||||||||||
| Loss and Grief (70%) | The screenplay explores the profound impact of loss on Ashot and his family. They lose loved ones, their home, their culture, and their sense of security. Ashot’s search for his daughter Klarisa is a testament to the enduring pain of separation and the desperate longing for reunion. | This theme delves into the emotional toll of trauma and the enduring impact of loss on the human psyche. It portrays the complexities of grief, the struggle to cope with loss, and the enduring power of love and memory. | ||||||||||||
| Family and Love (65%) | The bonds of family are central to the story. Ashot’s unwavering love for his family drives his actions, and their unwavering support for each other provides strength and hope during their darkest moments. Their journey highlights the power of familial love to overcome even the most difficult obstacles. | This theme emphasizes the importance of family as a source of strength and solace in times of adversity. It highlights the deep bonds of love and loyalty that unite families and the profound impact these bonds have on individuals. The story underscores the idea that family is not just about blood ties but also about the shared experiences and the unwavering support that individuals provide for one another. | ||||||||||||
| Hope and Redemption (60%) | Despite the horrors they face, Ashot and his family never lose hope. They cling to the belief that a better future is possible, and their resilience and determination ultimately lead them to a new life in America. Their story offers a message of hope and redemption, suggesting that even in the darkest of times, there is always the possibility of healing and renewal. | This theme explores the importance of holding onto hope even in the face of unimaginable hardship. It suggests that even when faced with loss, trauma, and despair, there is always the possibility of finding a path towards healing and rebuilding one’s life. The story suggests that hope can be a powerful force in helping individuals navigate through adversity and emerge stronger on the other side. | ||||||||||||
| Cultural Identity and Belonging (55%) | The screenplay explores the challenges of maintaining cultural identity in the face of displacement and persecution. Ashot and his family are forced to leave their homeland and their culture behind, but they strive to preserve their traditions and language. Their journey highlights the importance of cultural identity as a source of strength and resilience. | This theme explores the multifaceted nature of cultural identity and the challenges of preserving traditions and language in the face of displacement and persecution. It emphasizes the importance of maintaining a sense of cultural belonging even when forced to adapt to a new environment. The story also suggests that cultural identity can be a source of strength and resilience for individuals navigating through difficult times. | ||||||||||||
| The Power of Memory (50%) | The screenplay acknowledges the enduring power of memory. Ashot is haunted by his past experiences, particularly his time at Auschwitz. These memories shape his thoughts, actions, and worldview. The story highlights the importance of remembering the past to prevent future atrocities. | This theme underscores the importance of preserving memory as a means of honoring the past, learning from it, and preventing future atrocities. It suggests that remembering traumatic experiences is essential for healing, growth, and the creation of a more just and compassionate world. The story emphasizes that memory can be both a burden and a source of strength, guiding individuals towards a brighter future. | ||||||||||||
| The Legacy of the Holocaust (45%) | The screenplay provides a poignant portrayal of the horrors of the Holocaust. Ashot and his family experience firsthand the brutality of the Nazi regime. Their story serves as a reminder of the atrocities committed during the war and the importance of remembering these events. | This theme underscores the importance of remembering the atrocities of the Holocaust and ensuring that such events are never repeated. It highlights the long-lasting impact of these events on individuals and societies, and the ongoing need for vigilance against prejudice, discrimination, and hatred. | ||||||||||||
| The Search for Justice (40%) | While Ashot and his family seek to rebuild their lives, the story also touches on themes of justice and accountability. The film portrays the actions of individuals who perpetuated the atrocities of the Holocaust and the importance of holding them responsible for their crimes. | This theme highlights the importance of seeking justice for past injustices and holding perpetrators accountable for their actions. It underscores the need for a reckoning with the past to ensure that similar atrocities are never repeated. It also suggests that achieving justice can be a long and arduous process, but it is a necessary step in healing and rebuilding. | ||||||||||||
| The American Dream (35%) | The story concludes with Ashot and his family arriving in America, a nation they view as a haven of freedom and opportunity. The screenplay touches on the enduring allure of the American Dream, the idea that anyone, regardless of their background, can achieve success and happiness in this new land. | This theme explores the enduring allure of the American Dream, the idea that anyone, regardless of their background, can achieve success and happiness through hard work and determination. It suggests that America offers a new beginning for those who have suffered hardship and loss. However, it also acknowledges the challenges of acclimating to a new culture and building a new life. | ||||||||||||
Screenwriting Resources on Themes
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Studio Binder | Movie Themes: Examples of Common Themes for Screenwriters |
| Coverfly | Improving your Screenplay's theme |
| John August | Writing from Theme |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| Story, Plot, Genre, Theme - Screenwriting Basics | Screenwriting basics - beginner video |
| What is theme | Discussion on ways to layer theme into a screenplay. |
| Thematic Mistakes You're Making in Your Script | Common Theme mistakes and Philosophical Conflicts |
Robert McKee: "The audience doesn’t go to the movies to see plot; they go to feel emotion, to be moved."
| Goals and Philosophical Conflict | |
|---|---|
| internal Goals | The protagonist's internal goal is to protect his family and maintain their sense of hope and unity in the face of danger and uncertainty. |
| External Goals | The protagonist's external goal is to survive the Nazi occupation and protect her family from harm. |
| Philosophical Conflict | The overarching philosophical conflict is the clash between the values of humanity and inhumanity, compassion and cruelty, as seen in the brutal environment of war and oppression. |
Character Development Contribution: The internal and external goals drive the protagonist's actions and decisions, leading to personal growth, resilience, and a deeper sense of purpose. The philosophical conflict challenges the protagonist's beliefs and values, forcing them to confront ethical dilemmas and make difficult choices that shape their character development.
Narrative Structure Contribution: The goals and conflict create a compelling narrative arc that follows the protagonist's journey through a challenging and tumultuous period of history. They drive the plot forward, creating tension and emotional stakes that keep the audience engaged and invested in the outcome of the story.
Thematic Depth Contribution: The goals and conflict add thematic depth to the screenplay by exploring universal themes such as survival, family, resilience, morality, and the human capacity for compassion in the face of adversity. They raise questions about the nature of humanity, justice, and the impact of war on individual lives, enriching the narrative with layers of meaning and complexity.
Screenwriting Resources on Goals and Philosophical Conflict
Articles
| Site | Description |
|---|---|
| Creative Screenwriting | How Important Is A Character’s Goal? |
| Studio Binder | What is Conflict in a Story? A Quick Reminder of the Purpose of Conflict |
YouTube Videos
| Title | Description |
|---|---|
| How I Build a Story's Philosophical Conflict | How do you build philosophical conflict into your story? Where do you start? And how do you develop it into your characters and their external actions. Today I’m going to break this all down and make it fully clear in this episode. |
| Endings: The Good, the Bad, and the Insanely Great | By Michael Arndt: I put this lecture together in 2006, when I started work at Pixar on Toy Story 3. It looks at how to write an "insanely great" ending, using Star Wars, The Graduate, and Little Miss Sunshine as examples. 90 minutes |
| Tips for Writing Effective Character Goals | By Jessica Brody (Save the Cat!): Writing character goals is one of the most important jobs of any novelist. But are your character's goals...mushy? |
What's going on here? - Scenes are rated on many critreia. The goal isn't to try to maximize every number; \
It's to make you aware of what's happening in your scenes. You might have very good reasons to have character development but not advance the story, or have a scene without conflict. Obviously if your dialogue is really bad, you should probably look into that.
| Story Content | Character Development | Scene Elements | Audience Engagement | Technical Aspects | |||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Click for Full Analysis | Tone | Overall | Concept | Plot | Originality | Characters | Character Changes | Internal Goal | External Goal | Conflict | Opposition | High stakes | Story forward | Twist | Emotional Impact | Dialogue | Engagement | Pacing | Formatting | Structure | |
| 1 - Invasion and Interrogation Improve | Tense, Heartbreaking, Defiant, Terrifying, Relieved | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 2 - The Occupation Improve | Dark, Tragic, Tense, Somber, Chilling | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 3 - The Separation Improve | Tense, Heartbreaking, Desperate, Fearful | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | |
| 4 - The Road to Auschwitz Improve | Tragic, Heartbreaking, Grim, Terrifying | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 5 - Hope in the Face of Despair Improve | Desperate, Heartbreaking, Defiant, Grim | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 6 - The Fate of Ella Bernstein Improve | Dark, Intense, Tragic | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 7 - Separation and Despair Improve | Dark, Heartbreaking, Cruel, Hopeless | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 8 - Reunion in the Ashes Improve | Heart-wrenching, Desperate, Hopeful | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 9 - A Tinkle of Hope Improve | Tense, Emotional, Hopeful | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 10 - Caught in the Orchard Improve | Tense, Heartbreaking, Hopeful, Defiant | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 11 - Abuse of Power Improve | Dark, Intense, Emotional, Grim | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 10 | 8 | 8 | 10 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 12 - The Skillet and the Assault Improve | Tense, Dramatic, Emotional, Suspenseful | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 10 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 13 - A New Life, A New Name Improve | Tense, Emotional, Protective, Hopeful | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 14 - The Contrasting Faces of War Improve | Tense, Heartbreaking, Hopeful | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 15 - Air Raid at the Camp Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Heart-wrenching | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 16 - Tragedy in the Flames Improve | Tense, Dramatic, Heroic, Tragic | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 17 - Escape from the Ruins Improve | Grim, Haunting, Resolute, Somber | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 18 - A Moment of Hope, Shattered by Violence Improve | Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Hopeful | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 19 - A Moment of Grace Improve | Tense, Suspenseful, Dramatic | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 20 - Escape and Departure Improve | Tense, Emotional, Suspenseful, Hopeful | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 21 - A Fork in the Road and a Flash of Trauma Improve | Dramatic, Heartbreaking, Hopeful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 22 - The Forest of Death Improve | Tense, Grim, Suspenseful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 23 - A Glimpse of Hope on the Road to Funkkaserne Improve | Tense, Emotional, Resilient, Hopeful | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 24 - Ignoring the Warning Improve | Tense, Serious, Suspenseful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 25 - Despair and Denial Improve | Tense, Tragic, Urgent | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 26 - A Moment of Hope in the Face of Despair Improve | Despair, Hope, Gratitude, Tension | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 27 - A New Beginning: Hope Blooms in the Funkkaserne Improve | Hopeful, Resilient, Community-oriented | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 28 - Life in the Funkkaserne Camp: Resilience Amidst Hardship Improve | Hopeful, Reflective, Heartwarming | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 3 | 7 | 4 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 29 - Hope for a New Life Improve | Hopeful, Emotional, Dramatic | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 30 - A Promise Fulfilled: Bringing Hope to America Improve | Emotional, Hopeful, Dramatic | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 31 - Hope and Harmony: A Celebration of New Beginnings Improve | Joyful, Hopeful, Emotional | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 9 | 3 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 32 - New Life and Uncertain Waters Improve | Intense, Emotional, Hopeful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 33 - A Ship in Distress Improve | Tense, Emotional, Chaotic, Hopeful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 6 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 34 - Arrival at Ellis Island Improve | Tense, Emotional, Hopeful | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 35 - The Letter of Hope Improve | Tense, Emotional, Hopeful | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 36 - A New Beginning: Abundance and Gratitude Improve | Hopeful, Grateful, Joyful | 8 | 8 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 5 | 9 | 8 | 2 | 7 | 3 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | |
| 37 - Haunted by the Past Improve | Poignant, Reflective, Heartbreaking | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 38 - Fabric Scraps and Family Concerns Improve | Reflective, Nostalgic, Resigned | 8 | 7 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7.5 | 4 | 8 | 3 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 39 - A Father's Reluctance Improve | Emotional, Intense, Conflict-driven | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 40 - Dinner Guests Arrive Improve | Heartwarming, Nostalgic, Joyful | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 7 | 5 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
| 41 - A Celebration of Family and Love Improve | Joyful, Sentimental, Celebratory | 9 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 3 | 7 | 6 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | |
| 42 - A Legacy of Love and Faith Improve | Emotional, Reflective, Joyful | 9 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 7 | 9 | 8 | 3 | 8 | 4 | 8 | 8 | 9 | 8 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 9 | |
Summary of Scene Level Analysis
Here are some things that came out of the scene level analysis.
This is a summary of the strengths, weaknesses, and suggestions found in each scene. Some things might appear in both strengths and weaknesses based on the variety of your scenes.
For summary of each criteria click in the top row on the criteria.
Scene Strengths
- Strong emotional impact
- Compelling character development
- Tension building
- Realistic portrayal of historical events
- Resilience and hope as central themes
Scene Weaknesses
- Potential for triggering content, graphic violence, and disturbing themes
- Limited character development and exploration of external conflict
- Some dialogue could be more nuanced and impactful
- Some predictable or cliched moments
- Some pacing issues
Suggestions
- Consider balancing potential triggering content with sensitivity and thoughtfulness in order to manage graphic violence and disturbing themes
- Focus on developing characters and exploring external conflict in order to strengthen the screenplay
- Work on creating dialogue that is nuanced and impactful in order to avoid predictable or cliched moments and pacing issues
- Take inspiration from the strengths of the screenplay in order to further develop the strengths and overcome the weaknesses
- Consider readings and feedback from others to further improve the screenplay and the craft
Scene 1 - Invasion and Interrogation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 2 - The Occupation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 3 - The Separation
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 4 - The Road to Auschwitz
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 5 - Hope in the Face of Despair
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 6 - The Fate of Ella Bernstein
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 7 - Separation and Despair
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 8 - Reunion in the Ashes
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 9 - A Tinkle of Hope
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 10 - Caught in the Orchard
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 11 - Abuse of Power
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 12 - The Skillet and the Assault
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 13 - A New Life, A New Name
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 14 - The Contrasting Faces of War
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 15 - Air Raid at the Camp
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 16 - Tragedy in the Flames
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 17 - Escape from the Ruins
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 18 - A Moment of Hope, Shattered by Violence
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 19 - A Moment of Grace
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 20 - Escape and Departure
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 21 - A Fork in the Road and a Flash of Trauma
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 22 - The Forest of Death
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 23 - A Glimpse of Hope on the Road to Funkkaserne
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 24 - Ignoring the Warning
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 25 - Despair and Denial
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 26 - A Moment of Hope in the Face of Despair
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 27 - A New Beginning: Hope Blooms in the Funkkaserne
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 28 - Life in the Funkkaserne Camp: Resilience Amidst Hardship
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 29 - Hope for a New Life
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 30 - A Promise Fulfilled: Bringing Hope to America
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 31 - Hope and Harmony: A Celebration of New Beginnings
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 32 - New Life and Uncertain Waters
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 33 - A Ship in Distress
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 34 - Arrival at Ellis Island
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 35 - The Letter of Hope
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 36 - A New Beginning: Abundance and Gratitude
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 37 - Haunted by the Past
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 38 - Fabric Scraps and Family Concerns
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 39 - A Father's Reluctance
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 40 - Dinner Guests Arrive
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 41 - A Celebration of Family and Love
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene 42 - A Legacy of Love and Faith
The #1 Rule of Screenwriting: Make your reader or audience compelled to keep reading.
“Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.”
The scene level score is the impact on the reader or audience to continue reading.
The Script score is how compelled they are to keep reading based on the rest of the script so far.
Scene by Scene Emotions
suspense Analysis
Executive Summary
Suspense is effectively woven throughout the screenplay, particularly in scenes involving imminent danger and uncertainty. The tension created by the characters' precarious situations keeps the audience engaged and on edge, enhancing the emotional stakes of the narrative.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
fear Analysis
Executive Summary
Fear is a dominant emotion in the screenplay, effectively portrayed through the characters' experiences and the historical context of their situation. The visceral nature of the threats they face creates a powerful emotional impact on the audience.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
joy Analysis
Executive Summary
Joy is a crucial emotional counterpoint in the screenplay, providing moments of relief amidst the pervasive darkness of the characters' experiences. These moments of happiness serve to highlight the resilience of the human spirit.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
sadness Analysis
Executive Summary
Sadness is a pervasive emotion in the screenplay, effectively portrayed through the characters' experiences and the harsh realities they face. This emotional weight adds depth to the narrative and resonates deeply with the audience.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
surprise Analysis
Executive Summary
Surprise is used sparingly in the screenplay, often serving to heighten emotional stakes or shift character dynamics. These moments can create impactful twists that engage the audience and enhance the narrative.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI
empathy Analysis
Executive Summary
Empathy is a central emotional thread in the screenplay, effectively drawing the audience into the characters' experiences and struggles. The portrayal of their vulnerabilities and relationships fosters a deep emotional connection.
Usage Analysis
Critique
Suggestions
Questions for AI